Tales and Stories – Part 3

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Augustus Coopinheim. Somehow–and I’m not sure how–I have found myself stranded in the Punchy Lands. Professor VJ Duke is currently trying to help me get out, but until he succeeds…I’m hopelessly stuck.

I keep a journal of my adventures in the Punchy Lands, and Professor VJ Duke posts a portion of it here every Wednesday.

So, until the professor finds a way…


If you would like to refresh yourself on the story, please see Part 2!



“…you must understand,” Merlin continued, staring at me somewhat guardedly, “it was really quite shocking.”

“What was shocking?” I asked. “That the king banned magic, or that France declared war on England?”

Merlin paused, tilted his head, and furrowed his brow. “Hmm…I believe they both were shocking, but I was mainly referring to the latter.”

“France declaring war?”


“So what happened?”

Merlin sighed. “Well…well…once French troops landed on England’s beaches, King Arthur ordered me to act.”


“Yes, he ordered me to create a magical fog so that the French couldn’t find their way to the castle.”

“Did it work?” I asked.

Merlin shook his head. “Sadly, no. I made The Blunder. I thought that I had done everything right, you must understand. I faced the right direction. I said the right things. Balderdash! I even said please! But it was all for not. You see, the fog didn’t descend upon the French, it descended upon the castle.”


Merlin nodded. “Sad, I know. But, yes, it did. So, after King Arthur lost the war, and had to pay a lot of gold to Napoleon, he banned magic. I am no longer allowed to practice.”

It was all very odd – almost too odd. The man sitting across from me, his long grey beard, his odd frock, and his heavy expression, seemed almost unreal.

I stood.

“I see,” I said. “Well, I must be on my way.”

Merlin stood too. “Oh-”

Suddenly, there was a soft knock at the door.

Merlin snapped his head around and began to quake.

The door opened slowly – almost rhythmically.

Someone was standing in the doorway.

“Hey,” he said.

Merlin looked relieved. “Ahh, Schwarz, how are you? Good? That’s good. I was-”

Schwarz completely ignored Merlin. He turned and looked straight at me. “The king wants to see you now, tell you what!”

Tune in this coming Wednesday for Part 4!



0 Responses to “Tales and Stories – Part 3”

  1. Leave a Comment

Say something...anything...O Punchy Family!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,868 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on WordPress.com

Blog Stats

  • 115,929 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:




Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


%d bloggers like this: