Circumstances is a study of how a few completely different Punchy Landers react when presented with the exact same situation. Interestingly enough, I usually identify with one of the PLers; meaning, I could see myself behaving just as they did in that specific circumstance!
If you would like more information on certain PL characters, ‘hover’ over The Hut page. A dropdown menu will appear. (The professor is still in the process of building this vexing list. I fear it will be quite huge when finished.)
So, without more ado, let it commence…
SITUATION: A great party is taking place at Fat Man Island. But the lemonade remains unmade in the kitchen…
Punchy Lander #1: Fats Henry. Henry owns Fat Man Island. He’s a very, very large man—in complete agreement with his name. Henry is loud, obnoxious, and quite brazen.
Henry stormed into the kitchen—angrily.
“Where’s the lemonade?” he roared.
But the kitchen was vacant.
“Where’s the cook?”
Of course, there was no answer.
“I’ll have to make it myself then, because the guests want it!”
Henry pulled down a large mixing bowl, and added five cups of sugar. Then he added hot water—for sugar dissolves much better in hot water—and a few whole lemons.
“They better like it,” he grumbled.
Henry picked up the steaming pitcher and rejoined the party…
Punchy Lander #2: Bud Parker. Parker is a young guy who lives and works on Fat Man Island. He’s an inventor—but not a cook.
Parker entered the kitchen and looked about.
No cook and no lemonade.
Parker shrugged. “Oh well, bud, no lemonade. Henry might be mad, but what can I do? Just have to tell him that the cook forgot.”
Bud Parker exited the kitchen, ready to take the full wrath of an angry Henry.
Punchy Lander #3: Ruber Salami. Ruber is Daddy Salami’s son. He’s quite ugly, and he thinks he can cook—but he can’t.
“Well, well, no lemonade, eh? I’ll just have to make some.”
Ruber set about the task with glee.
“Why don’t I make it a Ruber Special? You know, make it the best lemonade any of these guests have ever tasted, eh? That’s for me!”
Ruber—like Henry—produced a large mixing bowl. But unlike Henry, he added some salt, brown sugar, and celery seed to a water/milk mixture. Next, he cut up some spinach.
“Ow! Wouldn’t you know I’d cut myself with the knife? No worries. I hope the guests don’t mind a little blood in their homemade lemonade! Huhha! [A Ruber laugh.] I mean, it’s not everyday that one can drink lemonade like this!”
Ruber added the spinach to the bowl, mixed everything around, and rejoined the party.
Yes, he forgot lemons, or any semblance of lemon flavoring.
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how his creation was received.
So, whom do you identify with?
(1)Fats Henry. You’d end up making lemonade, but you would know—deep down in—that it was terrible and nobody was going to like it.
(2) Bud Parker. You’d find the lack of lemonade a great pity, but not great enough to try and do something about it.
(3) Ruber Salami. You’d think yourself a great chef, and you’d think that you were doing a great service to the guests by providing them with your concoction. But in reality, all you were doing was actually cursing them.