Before the Punchy Proverbs are listed, I must share with you a conversation I had with V. Shnodgrate, writer of the Punchy Proverbs.
Shnodgrate and I ran into each other in Prince Beef’s palace, if I recall correctly. He seemed to be in a hurry.
“Good day, Mr. Shnodgrate,” I said happily.
“Good for some, maybe, but not good for all,” he replied sharply.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“What I said.”
“Well…” I stammered. “I know that. What I meant is: Why isn’t your day good?”
“Because, Professor Duke, you happen to be a liar.”
“Yes! You. You talk about the Punchy Lands like you know everything there is to know about it. Then—worse yet—you publish what you think you know. Malediction! Needless to say, you lie about a great many things.
“I do not! The professor never lies! I get all of my facts straight. I’m a historian, I’ll have you know. The professor doesn’t lie!”
“Fine then,” Shnodgrate said.
Then, quite surprisingly, he changed the subject. “I’ll send you three new proverbs to post this week.”
V. Shnodgrate departed quickly.
Of course, I thought no more of our conversation—that is, until the proverbs arrived:
(1) The professor doesn’t lie; he just stretches the truth.
(2) Those who acquaint niceness with goodness are deceived.
(3) Nothing can’t become something, and something can’t become anything.
Pick your favorites! And please don’t choose #1!!!