Blatherings…and Rememberings

Sometimes the professor actually forgets he’s the professor. In truth, this is true. I wouldn’t lie. (Don’t believe V. Shnodgrate for a second.)

When this happens, I merely have to look at my ring, and all misgivings and doubts are quickly and effectively assuaged.


Of course, I am quite attached to my ring and, when I wear it, it’s quite attached to me.

Now, if you ever are unlucky enough to meet the professor face-to-face, you probably wouldn’t recognize him. You see, professors have been stereotyped to an awful extent. We won’t go into that now. That’s a different subject for another time.

But, anyway, the professor wears the proof of who he is on his finger—usually. This is how you would know the professor is the professor. And this is how the professor knows he’s the professor.

I’d like to share a quick incident that befell the professor just recently. You do not want to behave like this sorry fellow did, for sure.


I was standing comfortably by a fountain, thinking about how Bob would enjoy a Mark Twain book if only he’d give it a chance, when I was set upon brutally.

A slim, slight, disgrace of a human being sauntered over to me, wearing a wicked smirk.

He pointed at my ring, and said, quite miserably, “What’s that for?”

“That,” I replied, preparing every defense for a possible attack, “is of great importance to me. You see, it helps me immensely.”

“Rings aren’t for men.”

“Oh really? Is that your own warped opinion? Or did someone plant that idea in your scrawny little head just so you could make a fool of yourself?”

The thing smirked even more. “I mean, rings that have writing on them aren’t for men. What does yours say?”

“My ring,” I replied, “serves a practical purpose. You see, it helps me remember who I am.”

“Let me see what it says.”

I held the ring up for the thing’s inspection.

His reply informed me that what I had just told him had inexplicably passed over his head.

The thing looked up suddenly. “Why would you want to walk around with his name on your ring?”

I think I may have said ‘Malediction’ before retreating. Luckily, he called off his attack and withdrew as well; for had he followed me, I think I would have bashed his head in with…something…anything…


It was depressing. But I shan’t dwell on it. Here’s a picture that’s both disconcerting and enjoyable:


I thought it a beautiful picture. But the man in the clouds obviously was disturbed by something…


35 Responses to “Blatherings…and Rememberings”

  1. 1 TBM July 26, 2013 at 10:19

    Oh don’t let the ring haters bring you down.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2013 at 11:40

      Ah, thank you! It is nice, right?

  2. 3 Nicholas Conley July 25, 2013 at 16:07

    An excellent ring, I have to say; I especially like the font. If I ever have the feeling that I’ve run into the esteemed professor somewhere in this so-called “real world,” I’ll keep an eye out for it!

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2013 at 17:08

      Thank you. I’ve always admired the font too. Keep an eye out for the hand, you mean. ;)

  3. 5 ladycheetah7 July 25, 2013 at 13:29

    Confession: I saw “professor” and immediately thought glasses, neat short hair, collared shirt and brief case. Then in one of your posts you said you lifted weights. Now I am confused. What professor lifts

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2013 at 14:13

      This professor, in truth, is a strange one…

  4. 7 sknicholls July 25, 2013 at 12:20

    I love your rings. those are way cool! I feel naked without my bridal set. i got really lucky marrying a man whose brother is a jeweler and has his own store.

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2013 at 12:23

      Thank you! Now that would be neat. I bet you love shopping in there!

  5. 9 krugthethinker July 25, 2013 at 05:24

    I like the man in the clouds! And I love your ring. That person needs to have his honor besmirched! Perhaps we could drop watermelon rinds on his unsuspecting head, a la Gogol;)

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2013 at 11:37

      Ah, yes, watermelon rinds are perfect! Have any spare ones? And thanks!!!

  6. 11 Elina July 24, 2013 at 20:03

    I really like your ring :)

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 23:02

      Thank you! Doesn’t it remind you of Sauron’s?

      • 13 Elina July 25, 2013 at 11:19

        Yes! :)

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2013 at 11:36

        :D A bit intimidating!

      • 15 Elina July 25, 2013 at 11:37


  7. 16 Nancy Loderick July 24, 2013 at 19:58

    Hey professor,

    You could always make a note to look at your blog to remind you of who you are :)


    • 17 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 20:00

      C-W-W, you’re right! The only problem is: what if I think it’s someone else’s blog?

      • 18 Nancy Loderick July 24, 2013 at 20:11

        Maybe you’d better post some pictures of yourself on your blog. That is assuming you’d recognize yourself. :)


      • 19 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 22:33

        But every time I look at pictures of myself, I go into denial. Any other suggestions?

  8. 20 vengeance4 July 24, 2013 at 15:12

    It sounds to me as if this idiot wouldn’t even know how to spell the name he would put on a ring. Though, ironically, that would mean he would be the one who needs it most.

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 19:11

      You know, I think you’re absolutely right! He was getting real close to a bashing!

  9. 22 FictionFan July 24, 2013 at 13:44

    I hope Bob has a tiny little matching ring with his name on! I’d like to see that person be so rude to him…I suspect Bob would say something much ruder than ‘Malediction’!

    • 23 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 13:54

      :lol: I bet you’re right! I’ve just got to get Bob one…

      (He would’ve probably cursed the dadblame fellow!!!)

      • 24 FictionFan July 24, 2013 at 14:15

        And rightly so…! Tell me, what does Punchinny mean?

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 14:22

        You know, I’m not really sure, really. I don’t think it’s a swear word, if that’s what you mean. It’s a term of exasperation, I believe. Does that clear things up?

      • 26 FictionFan July 24, 2013 at 14:37

        It does, rather, C-W-W. It means I can use it anyway I like without being wrong..

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 19:12

        Yes. As long as you do it in the ‘Punchy’ way. And I must say, you’re quite good at it.

      • 28 FictionFan July 24, 2013 at 22:18

        Manothunder, d’you really think so? Chickit!! :D

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 22:33

        Oh, yes, absolutely. The professor is quite proud to have you as a member of the Punchy Family!!!

      • 30 FictionFan July 25, 2013 at 00:44

        And I’m quite proud to be one! :D

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2013 at 11:33

        FF, that makes this professor happier than you know! Bob (And Bob too!)

  10. 32 Susan P July 24, 2013 at 12:27

    Chicky-Woot-Woot for the ring. One ring to bring them all…wait, that was another story. *sigh*

    • 33 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 12:53

      Ah, great expression! Interestingly, it does remind the professor of the one ring too…maybe it is?

  11. 34 Jackie July 24, 2013 at 11:49

    There’s nothing worse than an ignorant ring bigot.

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2013 at 12:53

      Isn’t that the truth!

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Professorish Smiley:




Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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