A very strange event befell the professor recently, and I’ll tell you all about it. Of course, it was just a matter of time before something like this happened in public—and I should have been ready for it…
But I wasn’t.
This professor was seated by himself on a bench—in a mall, I think—when he was suddenly confronted by an old friend of his. And, yes, that makes it even worse. Old friends shouldn’t betray old friends—that’s a general rule to follow, I think.
He sat down next to me and said:
“You know, VJ, I’ve always wondered what VJ stood for.”
I must have looked surprised, for then he said, rather quickly:
“I mean, what’s your name?”
It took this professor a moment or two to mount an exceptional self-defense maneuver, but at last he finally did.
“My man,” I said, “what makes you think that I will tell you a thing that I obviously desire to be, and remain, unknown?”
My old friend shrugged. “You know,” he said, “you shouldn’t be embarrassed of it—it’s not like your initials stand for Valerie Jessica, or something like that.”
The professor was enraged. If I had had Bob, if I had had my knives, this poor fellow would have regretted that statement wholeheartedly, but as it was, all I had was myself.
“What’s wrong with you?” my tormentor asked. “You seem to be thinking on something rather hideous.”
Then, I tried to think of Shnodgrate proverb that I could employ here, and I finally got one. It was the one about being a tight situation just to laugh, or something like that. So, I followed it.
The professor laughed. But I fear it came across rather badly, and my friend smiled and nodded his head knowingly. My plan had just backfired.
“I know the reason,” the tormentor stated, still nodding his head, “I know the reason. And I’ll tell you. VJ doesn’t stand for anything, because you’ve made it up and you’ve never thought about what you wanted it to stand for!” He was still nodding, like he was indubitably right.
“In fact,” he nearly yelled—much to my annoyance, for we were in public—“Professor VJ Duke is not your real name!”
I stood in rage, and I remember saying something that is a trifle bit embarrassing to think back on. I believe I said something to the extent of, “You’ll see about talking to me with what a big mistake you made!” Which of course doesn’t make any sense.
And then I left—in a hurry.
My friend was still nodding. “You know,” he belted out, “I’m right. I know I’m right.”
As I fled, I knew that he was going to try and tell everyone he saw.
Of course, this episode was quite troubling, and I had to look at my ring a few times so that I could remember who I was. When I was back at my stately abode, I also looked at my board.
I’m sure you’ll agree with this professor that Professor VJ Duke is Professor VJ Duke…right?
Here is the picture(s) for this week. Yes, quite troubling. But luckily I had the beast—I mean, Bob…