Blatherings…Professor VJ Duke

A very strange event befell the professor recently, and I’ll tell you all about it. Of course, it was just a matter of time before something like this happened in public—and I should have been ready for it…

But I wasn’t.

This professor was seated by himself on a bench—in a mall, I think—when he was suddenly confronted by an old friend of his. And, yes, that makes it even worse. Old friends shouldn’t betray old friends—that’s a general rule to follow, I think.

He sat down next to me and said:

“You know, VJ, I’ve always wondered what VJ stood for.”

I must have looked surprised, for then he said, rather quickly:

“I mean, what’s your name?”

It took this professor a moment or two to mount an exceptional self-defense maneuver, but at last he finally did.

“My man,” I said, “what makes you think that I will tell you a thing that I obviously desire to be, and remain, unknown?”

My old friend shrugged. “You know,” he said, “you shouldn’t be embarrassed of it—it’s not like your initials stand for Valerie Jessica, or something like that.”

The professor was enraged. If I had had Bob, if I had had my knives, this poor fellow would have regretted that statement wholeheartedly, but as it was, all I had was myself.

“What’s wrong with you?” my tormentor asked. “You seem to be thinking on something rather hideous.”

Then, I tried to think of Shnodgrate proverb that I could employ here, and I finally got one. It was the one about being a tight situation just to laugh, or something like that. So, I followed it.

The professor laughed. But I fear it came across rather badly, and my friend smiled and nodded his head knowingly. My plan had just backfired.

“I know the reason,” the tormentor stated, still nodding his head, “I know the reason. And I’ll tell you. VJ doesn’t stand for anything, because you’ve made it up and you’ve never thought about what you wanted it to stand for!” He was still nodding, like he was indubitably right.

“In fact,” he nearly yelled—much to my annoyance, for we were in public—“Professor VJ Duke is not your real name!”

I stood in rage, and I remember saying something that is a trifle bit embarrassing to think back on. I believe I said something to the extent of, “You’ll see about talking to me with what a big mistake you made!” Which of course doesn’t make any sense.

And then I left—in a hurry.

My friend was still nodding. “You know,” he belted out, “I’m right. I know I’m right.”

As I fled, I knew that he was going to try and tell everyone he saw.

Of course, this episode was quite troubling, and I had to look at my ring a few times so that I could remember who I was. When I was back at my stately abode, I also looked at my board.

I’m sure you’ll agree with this professor that Professor VJ Duke is Professor VJ Duke…right?




Here is the picture(s) for this week. Yes, quite troubling. But luckily I had the beast—I mean, Bob…




74 Responses to “Blatherings…Professor VJ Duke”

  1. 1 Jennifer October 13, 2013 at 00:02

    Haha, now I can conclude from this, that your tormentor may be right on either of two parts, your name is Valerie Jessica or you made it up completely. Bt I shall believe you that you are who you say you are. Can’t stand snakes, you’d hear me screaming from here, or is it there, if I saw one.
    Also, is that my postcard in one of those pictures??? Looks like an Aus stamp and my hideous writing?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2013 at 11:39

      The professor is quite relieved! Of course, he’s who he says he is. Both here or there are fine, I think. But surely some snakes are neat…

      :lol: Yes it is! You see, you helped this professor prove who he was! :D Aren’t you proud?

      • 3 Jennifer October 14, 2013 at 11:46

        Here, there, every-bloody-where. It doesn’t matter. And no, no snakes are cool unless they are fluffy toy things. And I spose I should be proud to say I helped you. If I knew (saw) who I was defending it might make it a bit easier, hint hint…

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2013 at 16:49

        You know, that could be a line from the Scarlet Pimpernel, I think. What? You can’t honestly say a King Cobra is not cool!

        Well, imagine I look like the professorish ring. Or like this ==]:-{)=

  2. 5 gita4elamats August 9, 2013 at 00:22

    {{{HUGS}}} back! (。◕‿◕。)

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2013 at 00:30

      Aw! :D

  3. 7 Topaz August 8, 2013 at 16:22

    First of all, thank you for following my blog!

    I’m glad I visited your site. Your imagination and creativity made me smile for the first time today.

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke August 8, 2013 at 17:45

      Thank you! Glad you found it Punchyish!

  4. 9 L. Marie August 8, 2013 at 13:47

    So, was there bloodshed at least by Bob? And I agree that Professor VJ Duke is your name. Just . . . don’t fling Bob at me, please.

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke August 8, 2013 at 17:49

      No! Bob played for a while, then left! The coward.

      Thanks! I won’t. The professor is too sweet.

  5. 11 Sonya Solomonovich August 7, 2013 at 21:42

    The serpent doesn’t look as scary next to the beast!

    Indeed, you are Professor VJ Duke, and a good name it is! I consider myself quite the expert on professors as both my parents are professors, and so are a few of my friends. And while I am not one myself, this large conglomeration of professors in my life has enabled me to study professors and their ways from an unbiased perspective.

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 21:56

      My thoughts exactly!!!

      :D :D The professor can’t express his…happiness! But, I’m sure you must admit this, I’m the most professorish professor that you have ever studied! ;)

      • 13 Sonya Solomonovich August 8, 2013 at 00:16

        I’m not sure if you’re number one, but you are up there among the most professorish people. Asserting that one is the best at something (in your case, being professorish) is a very professorish trait!

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke August 8, 2013 at 00:18

        Of course I’m number 1 professorishness! Of course I am! I think I may have a headache now…

  6. 15 The Dancing Rider August 7, 2013 at 21:00

    Ah, yes. Too bad I wasn’t there with my cross bow …

    Professor is always Professor, always! Of The Punchy Lands, and wherever else he may happen to alight!

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 21:28

      Cross bow? Really? Super cool!

      :D You are right! Ah, thanks for reminding this professor who he is!

      • 17 The Dancing Rider August 8, 2013 at 01:15

        I don’t *really* have one, my imagination has one for those sorts of moments!

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke August 8, 2013 at 01:43

        Oh, the imagination is very real in the PL! You have a crossbow in my opinion!

  7. 19 Elina August 7, 2013 at 17:43

    I like your board Professor VJ Duke :)

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 18:21

      Thank you, Elina. And thank you for believing the professor is the professor! :D

  8. 21 Angeline M August 7, 2013 at 16:23

    That is why the friend is an old friend; obviously not someone to associate with when they needle you to the point of distraction and discomfort. You are who you are.

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 16:26

      That’s true. Maybe that’s why I keep him away! Thank you, Angeline, it means so much to the professor! :)

  9. 23 krugthethinker August 7, 2013 at 16:04

    I can only echo a previous commenter: man-o-thunder! Of course the professor is the professor. No two bones about it.

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 16:06

      Manothunder absolutely! Or Dadblameit! Thank you! That makes the professor so…comforted.

  10. 25 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 15:02

    Oh…I thought your name was Chicky-Woot-Woot!

    :lol: Either that snake isn’t as big as it looks in the first pic, or else Bob is HUGE!!!

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:28

      You did? :)

      I think it’s both! I was really tempted to go get that Katana and…

      • 27 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 16:04

        You must stop reading Steinbeck immediately, Professor VJ Duke – it’s having an unfortunate effect on you… ;)

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 16:05

        Good grief, you’re right! I’m starting to sound like Jody, aren’t I? *double-gulp* What should I do?

      • 29 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 16:07

        Read Jane Austen – urgently!! It’s not too late to save you, but must you act quickly…

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 16:09

        Hmm…Is this the reclamation you speak of? If so, I’d rather not then…

      • 31 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 16:21

        You wait – 20 chapters of P&P and all thoughts of cruelty will have vanished, and your main aim in life will be to learn how to dance the cotillion…

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 16:25

        The professor wouldn’t be caught dead dancing the…cotillion? Interesting word. I’m just sure you made it up. Now it would be interesting to witness Darcy dancing to a rock band…

      • 33 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 16:29

        What?? You mean I’ll never get to dance the cotillion with you? Just crush my dreams under your heel, why don’t you… :cry:

        Having just read this thread, I’m also deeply concerned that you’ve threatened to shoot Bob with a bow…not to mention that you seem to have stuck your teddies to the wall – I so hope that’s not for target practice…

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 18:20

        Sounds like some kind of torture machine. That’s one of your dreams? :shock:

        :lol: No, I meant shoot the snake; not Bob!!! The bears serve a practical purpose. They help things stay attached to the board.

      • 35 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 19:43

        Well, I’ve never heard dancing the cotillion described as torture before, but I suppose it depends on how often you’re planning to stand on my toes… ;)

        Relieved to hear it – Tuppence was just about to parachute in and carry out a rescue mission…

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 19:57

        Young lady, the professor isn’t planning anything since he shan’t dance it! And that’s final!

        :lol: Why can I picture that?

      • 37 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 20:25

        :lol: You’re beginning to sound just like Darby!! So you’d leave me to be a wallflower, would you? Well, that’s fine! I have no doubt Daddy Salami will take your place!

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 21:34

        You mightn’t like it, though. I’m just sure Daddy Salami dances like a frog.

        I don’t think I’d attend such a dancing party, but if I did, I’d bring my professorishness with me. Now, if it was a football party…

      • 39 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 22:10

        But your professorishness would be ideal for the cotillion – it’s a very civilised, respectable sort of dance. Salami may dance like a frog, but we all know what happens to frogs when they’re kissed… ;)

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 22:23

        But professorishness might not be respectable…

        :D Now, that’s once dance the professor would want to see!

      • 41 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 22:49

        Cor! I admit my image of you as a staid and studious old professor has been severely shaken by recent revelations of your Bruce Lee/Willis exploits…

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 23:08

        I shall do a post one day about how professors are stereotyped. I think Bruce Lee is a new one…

      • 43 FictionFan August 7, 2013 at 23:14

        The Bruce Lee connection is in (eager) anticipation of the full story of the Katana… :cool:

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke August 8, 2013 at 00:17

        I don’t want to scare anyone…thought it is :cool:

  11. 45 Jackie August 7, 2013 at 14:59

    The nerve of some people! Wonderful photo – go get em Bob! >^..^<

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:28

      Absolutely! Yes, Bob, slice him up!

  12. 47 sknicholls August 7, 2013 at 14:55

    V. J. stands for Very Jolly…the Very Jolly Professor. We are doing random word definitions on The Community Storyboard today and I got this :)

    • 48 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:27

      :D Awesome!

      Very Jolly…hmm…!

  13. 49 ladycheetah7 August 7, 2013 at 14:06

    Oh no not the teddy bears=-O
    Some people can be so annoying. Had it been me that would have been a good time to look at him like he was stupid and then I would have walked away as if it were for no apparent reason.

    • 50 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:26

      Yes. :) The one on the left is Henry, the one on the right is Monk. :D

      You know, you’ve got a point there. But what if he would have chased you?

      • 51 ladycheetah7 August 7, 2013 at 15:41

        Yoy have a point. Some people are so thick that the only alternative is to be vehemently blunt and when that is the case I loose no sleep in being that mean especially when my leaving should have been a clue. When people are insulted they will do everything to escape even when they asked for it. Even a dog knows not to come back when it gets hurt…

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:49

        :lol: So true! I suppose I would have had to be brutal.

  14. 53 gita4elamats August 7, 2013 at 13:27

    Surely Professor VJ Duke is Professor VJ Duke! :)

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:25

      Of course! Who could doubt it?

      • 55 gita4elamats August 8, 2013 at 13:14

        Not me! :lol:

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke August 8, 2013 at 17:47

        :D You deserve a Punchy hug!!!

  15. 57 Susan P August 7, 2013 at 13:23

    Manothunder, Professor. The cheek of some people. How defiant! I do hope that you made a restorative cup of tea upon your arrival home.

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:25

      Manothunder indeed! Yes, cherry green tea–and it was much needed!

  16. 59 MissTiffany August 7, 2013 at 13:16

    My goodness. The audacity of some people! As if Professor isn’t really your name….

    That snake is rather terrifying. I do hope the beast, uh, I mean Bob dispatched it quickly.

    • 60 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:24

      I should have beat him! This professor can’t imagine why he would doubt my name…

      No, actually. Bob played with it, then got bored, and left! The professor had to deal with it!

      • 61 MissTiffany August 7, 2013 at 15:54

        No doubt he deserved it. I simply can’t fathom it. Why would your name not be your name?

        Curse you, Bob! Slacking on the job. At least the professor has some self-protection skills…

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 16:04

        He did! Yes, it doesn’t make too much sense. Really it doesn’t.

        I gave him a spanking for it! The professor does. Though, it would have been really, super cool to use a bow to do the job…

      • 63 MissTiffany August 7, 2013 at 19:00

        Nope. It really doesn’t.

        I’m sure Bob will think twice about shirking his duties again. It would have been just as cool to use throwing knives…

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 19:58

        Oh, that’s true. But cooler with a bow! ;) (I’m not sure about Bob; he got quite angry with me…)

      • 65 MissTiffany August 7, 2013 at 20:02

        Perhaps. :) Oh dear. Well cats are creatures of their own…I do believe they think themselves above everyone else…

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 21:35

        I think you’re absolutely right. Only Bob must really think himself important. I’d bet he thinks he’s worth more than 10 professors!

      • 67 MissTiffany August 8, 2013 at 12:42

        I’m sure he does. That’s just the way cats are.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke August 8, 2013 at 17:44

        You are absolutely right.

  17. 69 technophile9 August 7, 2013 at 12:32

    You mean your name isn’t Professor?!

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:23

      Of course it is! My full name is Professor VJ Duke! You believe that, don’t you? ;)

      • 71 technophile9 August 8, 2013 at 15:07

        Of course! If I didn’t believe you I would look dumb, seeing as you’re a Professor. ;)

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke August 8, 2013 at 17:50

        :D Yes, I am the professor–the most professorish professor, that is.

  18. 73 M E McMahon August 7, 2013 at 12:30

    Loved this…and good boy, Bob!

    • 74 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2013 at 15:22

      Thank you! Yes, Bob is the man–when it comes to snakes!

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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
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