The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, September 9, 2013
Section A. Punchy Proverbs:
(1) Excessive laughter is the remedy for frustration, and the cause for irritation.
(2) An animal has no respect for man’s property.
(3) A cuss word helps to ease the anger.
Favorites, dear PLF?
Section B. Something you should know about the professor:
He’s the only one.
Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:
(1) If you do, then do. — Schwarz Tauptinker
(2) Ah, the truth is always hard to catch, but when it’s caught, it’s hard to lose. – Merlin
(3) I hate turtle-curs, but Ruber’s even worse. – Daddy Salami
Section D. Breaking News:
Mortimer Butterfield—the PL’s richest man—opened over five new factories this past week. The CIO (Cookies & Ice Cream Organization) is clearly booming. Experts estimate that Butterfield’s wealth will double this year.
King Arthur has issued a decree that fishing in the Cavootti pond—which is full of poisonous fish—is completely prohibited. A few fishermen were outraged; Daddy Salami principle among them.
Fats Henry was upbraided by Ms. Ross—faithful employee of the PLHO (Punchy Lands Health Organization)—for walking out of a CIO factory with a cartload of chocolate bars. Henry was immediately angered and knocked Ms. Ross out cold.
Section E. Featured Story: Sotsiz Tea
by J. Freedwoppen
“There’s nothing at all harmful about the tea,” Mr. Magi affirmed decidedly; “and I would know if there was.”
Sotsiz tea is brewed from the Sotsiz leaf, a tiny light blue, circular leaf that possesses red lines on the surface. The more lines, the better the taste. Once brewed, the burgundy tea has such a pleasant aroma and rich flavor that it’s extremely appealing—even to non-tea drinkers.
Others disagree with Mr. Magi, saying that the growing popularity of Sotsiz tea is quite harmful.
“That’s just it,” Ms. Ross said; “it’s not only a matter of PL’ers enjoying tea. Sotsiz tea is very harmful—for one’s health. Consider it alike to a drug that one could get addicted to.”
Of course, Mr. Magi disagrees strongly:
“Ms. Ross’s sentiments are an absurdity! There is nothing addictive about the tea. I would wager that Ms. Ross probably finds food addictive!”
In the end, the PLHO’s objections aren’t enough to elicit too much attention from loyal Sotsiz-drinking PL’ers.
In fact, the popularity of Sotsiz tea is on the rise in the PL.
Section F. Hearing from the PL Family
PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.
The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query in the featured story.
Until next time, this is the PL Times!