The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, October 7, 2013
Section A. Punchy Proverbs:
(1) If one is capable of having a battle of wits with a fool, then he is just like his adversary.
(2) A hero is somebody who does what no one else was willing to do.
(3) Belittling one’s ambitions is employed quite frequently by those who want to see you fail.
Section B. Something you should know about the professor:
He lost his mind years ago, and hasn’t found it since.
Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:
(1) I like playin’ tiger…heheha. ~ Daddy Salami
(2) What they don’t realize is that the Punchy Lands is defined by Punchy Murdoch, my illustrious father. ~ Kirk Kirkpatrick
Section D. Breaking News:
Jazzy Couldren (aka. Manly-Man) has contracted a construction company to build him the tallest tower in the world. Jazzy says it’s for his business.
Critics are questioning the ability of Fat Man Island to remain suspended in the air above England for much longer.
Attila the Hun is raiding Barkoush’s city. This makes filming Les Miz tricky, since Barkoush plays the Bishop.
Section E. Featured Story: A Lawsuit
by J. Freedwoppen
“I done think that it’s really making me doubt the fairness of the court systems. I might have to get crazy,” Jazzy Couldren (aka. Manly-Man) threatened early last morning about the lawsuit.
After Jazzy Couldren’s financial situation improved (he recently became a billionaire), his wife and daughter, Peaches and Billy-Sue, decided to sue him for what he did to them long ago.
“He tied me up and threw me in the bathtub for no reason!” Peaches said.
“And me too!” Billy-Sue agreed.
“I mean,” Peaches continued, “now that he’s come into money…well, it’s only right he pays up a bit.”
But Jazzy isn’t about to budge.
“I’s done worked for my money, and if anybody thinks I’s givin’ it up, they’s wrong.”
I think it’s safe to say that Peaches and Billy-Sue might get something, but it will only be because Jazzy agreed.
Manly-Man is well-loved celebrity in the Punchy Lands; the people are on his side.
Section F. Hearing from the PL Family:
PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.
The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)
Until next time, this is the PL Times!