Ripping Book Review–Pride and Prejudice

WARNING: Ripping Book Reviews are solely the judgments of Professor VJ Duke on an unlucky book that has caused him much repulsion—in one way or another. Therefore, blame must be put on the author and nobody else. With that in mind, read on—if you are brave enough to take it.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE by COLIN FIR…err…JANE AUSTEN

You must understand that the professor rips the following book out of duty. Mr. Mark Twain tried to read Pride and Prejudice, but he had a hard time of it. Consequently, then, we were left without a good ripping.

The professor had a hard time of it too. But I persevered.

Of course, the novel also caused repulsion, which sets it up beautifully for a ripping.

But before we begin, the professor must make something clear.

You see, Austen likes to deal in obscurity quite frequently. Whether this is because she doesn’t know what she wants to say, or because she is trying to be clever, I’m not sure.

But I would guess it’s the former.

Thus, we will encounter Austen Obscurity in this review.

So, let us begin, unhindered and unrepentant.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

This particular sentence has always interested the professor. It is quite commonly trumpeted about as if it is truly something special.

Well, it’s not.

Perhaps I err.

Maybe it is special; after all, I’m almost sure no one else could come up with so much dadblamery in one sentence.

It would be hard.

It would be a gift.

You see, the sentence is just…wrong, and plumb dishonest!

I’m sure there are many men in possession of a good fortune who are not in want of a wife, and that there are many men in possession of a good fortune who are in want of many wives.

Of course, though, Austen could be voicing how her characters feel about the matter.

Which might be true.

And this would make some sense, since all of Austen’s characters are dull to the point of so many tears the ocean would look dry.

You see, all of the characters are…dumb enough to believe such a thing. That’s what the professor is trying to say.

But I believe it’s none of the above. What Austen meant to say becomes clear at the end of the novel. Why she didn’t go back and revise, the professor isn’t sure.

This is how it should read:

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of not much at all, must be in want of a husband who is very wealthy and obnoxious.

It makes much more sense that way, I think.

Now the paragraph that follows that sentence is a real hike. It’s a bit hard to understand on the first read.

It’s Austen Obscurity.

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, [yes, it’s misspelled] this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

In truth, I almost fainted after the opening sentence coupled with that…that, but what comes next is slightly amusing.

“My dear Mr. Bennet,” said his lady to him one day…

His lady?

Now that’s an interest.

I wonder where poor Mr. Bennet’s wife is…

Of course, though, his lady might be his wife. Another example of Austen Obscurity.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with obscurity—when you’re clever about it, that is.

Moving on.

The scene: A party.

And this is what Bingley says to Darcy:

… “Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life, as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty.”

Another interest. You see, Bingley is supposed to be good natured—but he’s not. Lurking beneath the surface is a monster.

I would have asked which girls, in particular, he found ugly or just pretty. Aha! That would have been a great Darcy comeback.

But Darcy isn’t too clever. You see, he ends up marrying someone who is, in his own words:

“…tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me…”

Not too clever at all.

And then after the party, we’re privy to a scene.

Elizabeth and Jane are speaking about a gentleman when Elizabeth says:

“He is also handsome,” replied Elizabeth, “which a young man ought likewise to be, if he possibly can…”

If he possibly can? I wonder how she purposes they go about controlling it.

Maybe Austen secretly wished to able to control how she looked too. We don’t know.

And we better not think on it.

That’s about it for now.

You see, I can’t take anymore—even though there’s so much still to rip.

Perhaps the professor will return to it some day in the future for duty’s sake.

Or justice’s sake.

 

Advertisements

133 Responses to “Ripping Book Review–Pride and Prejudice”


  1. 1 awritershailmarypass December 16, 2013 at 05:54

    I liked P&P. As someone else pointed out, it was meant to be satire, and the narrator is omnipotent but unreliable. But I understand the style is hard to get through.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2013 at 13:49

      Well, you know, more than anything, it wasn’t a professorish book, was it?

  2. 3 mmlatif2013 December 3, 2013 at 17:50

    I’m ashamed to say that I just read this. BUT it is the best thing I have read, in terms of a ripping review. Hahahaha. Absolutely love it.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke December 3, 2013 at 19:32

      Don’t be ashamed and thanks! Was I too fierce, do you think?

      • 5 mmlatif2013 December 4, 2013 at 18:05

        The Professor can never be too fierce. It was perfect.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke December 4, 2013 at 18:52

        Aw, thanks! You know, I was planning on doing two sequels. (Did you see the studio’s honest book blurbs/)

      • 7 mmlatif2013 December 8, 2013 at 17:43

        You should definitely do one more, at least. Yeesss. They were hilarious. I mean, I love Lord of the Flies but the blurbs were very enjoyable. =p Wuthering Heights was quite accurate. Haha.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke December 9, 2013 at 15:10

        Should it be a vid or written, do you think?

  3. 9 krugthethinker October 17, 2013 at 03:37

    That is hilarious! I personally very much like your rewritten sentence–much more accurate and to the point!

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke October 17, 2013 at 19:35

      It is! A very professorish sentence too.

  4. 11 marinesbooks October 13, 2013 at 10:49

    I think that when you read this book you should try to remember that it’s satirical and all the sentences you’re quoting are made to make you laugh. Too bad you didn’t like the book.

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2013 at 11:43

      Well, the professor thinks that P&P was great in the sense that it provided a perfect platform for the master of satire, Mark Twain, to make all sorts of great jokes, and plenty of rippings.

      Are you a fan?

      • 13 marinesbooks October 14, 2013 at 17:57

        I wouldn’t say I’m a fan. I just read it last week and loved it, I was looking for a few reviews on the internet.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke October 14, 2013 at 21:36

        And that’s how you found this professor’s? I’m dreadfully sorry!!! You see, every so often the professor does a ripio review of a book. I feel very bad that you ended up here…

  5. 15 weggieboy October 10, 2013 at 17:27

    I preferred the movie – or was it television series? – version because when I fell asleep enduring it, the lights were already off. That makes me an infidel, a cur, no doubt, but it doesn’t change the course of time.

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke October 10, 2013 at 20:01

      :lol: So, did you like it?

  6. 17 deanthefish October 10, 2013 at 12:06

    What we need is a P&P musical… listening to Elizabeth belt out her reasons for refusing Fitzwilliam would be a real tearjerker.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke October 10, 2013 at 12:54

      :lol: Now even this professor would watch that!

  7. 19 jenniesisler October 9, 2013 at 17:27

    This is precisely why, oh wise professor, I will never read Jane Austin. Fortunately, she was never required reading in my AP English class…

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 20:52

      Interesting! Not an Austen fan at all?

      • 21 jenniesisler October 10, 2013 at 20:34

        No, not really. I don’t know why, but I have no desire to read any Jane Austen.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke October 10, 2013 at 20:38

        Well, Mark Twain is good. You might like him–if you haven’t read him already.

  8. 23 Jackie October 9, 2013 at 12:14

    Punchalicious ripping! Thank you, Professor! Never could get into the book. Now, thanks to your ripping, I see why. File this book under PU and label it stinky. 8-)

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 12:51

      Love it! And thank you! I’m glad the professor has a supporter here. It’s been a bit vicious! ;)

      Absolutely! I’ll file it away… :cool:

  9. 25 simply skeptical October 9, 2013 at 11:13

    I really do like P&P which is my want. :-) BUT please forgive me professor for forgetting for a moment that these ripping book reviews are all in fun and fun they are! Your creative wit is very entertaining and keeps me on my toes. Don’t ever quit…..

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 12:48

      Not at all! Feel free to disagree. And thank you very much! (I think I’ll always be professorish no matter what!)

  10. 27 Angeline M October 9, 2013 at 01:13

    Good rip. And, yes, it’s best to go about it unrepentant.

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:04

      Thank you. You’re not a P&P fan?

      • 29 Angeline M October 9, 2013 at 02:12

        Not so much. It was required reading way back when, and any thing required I immediately resisted. It’s the rebel in me ;)

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:13

        Awesome! I like that. The professor also likes being a rebel. Very fun, I think.

      • 31 Angeline M October 9, 2013 at 02:15

        It is the best fun, especially when one looks sweet and innocent…they never expect that :)

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:15

        Very true! But I fear the professor doesn’t look sweet and innocent…

      • 33 Angeline M October 9, 2013 at 02:18

        Your loss.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:18

        Well, Lizio said I can wish myself sweet and innocent.

      • 35 Angeline M October 9, 2013 at 02:23

        Okey dokey. Wishes can come true. Sometimes.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:34

        Professorish ones have a higher chance, I hear.

  11. 37 ladycheetah7 October 8, 2013 at 23:10

    Yup! Very glad I waited until I was home to read this on my laptop. I was tempted to respond on my phone but became distracted by that nasty business called work.

    Ahh. So he commences the ripping and I must say PVJ this by far is the best rip ever. I so much enjoyed it and look forward to a Part II to this ripping sequel. Of course I could not allow this to go without responding:

    Original text:
    “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

    PVJ Version:

    “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of not much at all, must be in want of a husband who is very wealthy and obnoxious.”

    I think what the author meant to say was…

    LadyCheetah Version:

    “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, [who] possesses megalomaniac tendencies is in want of having his ego stroke, therefore, seeks a wife to pander to his needs.”

    Granted “megalomaniac” would not have been the vocabulary of the day, but I thought it fitting. :-)

    • 38 Susan P October 9, 2013 at 01:17

      Well written, LadyCheetah. Well written.

      • 39 ladycheetah7 October 9, 2013 at 01:24

        :-)

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:04

        It was !

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:03

      And it is such a nasty business!

      Many thanks, Lady! Or part 3 or 4 or 5… ;)

      :lol: :lol: I love the LadyCheetah Version!!! :D :cool:

      An amazing word. You must write it down and keep it. The professor loves it. (Do you like P&P?)

      • 42 ladycheetah7 October 9, 2013 at 02:24

        Actually I have always avoided it but reading your rips is giving me a change of heart and I intend to buy it. Btw, just saw the musical version of Les Miserables….the PL has some very strong competition. …

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:35

        Ah, so you’ll buy it. See, FEF? (FF always thinks the professor scares everyone away, but I don’t.)

        Ooo, is it good? I fear that you think it better than the PL’s… Of course, though, just wait till our musical starts in #3…

      • 44 ladycheetah7 October 9, 2013 at 02:46

        I appreciate the flavor PL brings to it. It Is comical and whoever writes the skit translates it well punchy style; besides the music Semper brings is very good so as long as MM doesn’t start singing I think I will be fine.
        :-)

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 12:46

        Awesome! The professor is thinking about seeing the musical hiself.

      • 46 Susan P October 9, 2013 at 15:24

        I can so relate, LadyCheetah, to your rebellion over the required. Fortunately, it was never required for me.

  12. 47 deanthefish October 8, 2013 at 22:03

    What surprises me is that an Austen rip draws much more outrage than a Margaret Mitchell rip… How??!!

    • 48 Jazzy Couldren October 8, 2013 at 23:44

      It’s all about manliness…

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:01

      It is interesting.

  13. 50 Susan P October 8, 2013 at 21:01

    I love this story for the same reason you enjoyed ripping it. I did a rip of Gulliver’s Travels when I was in college at my project in one of my classes. Fun it was. It was actually a project to be presented orally. Everyone in the room was mocked. Good times.

    • 51 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:56

      How interesting! You did? Awesome! You wouldn’t have it still, would you? I would love to hear it!

      • 52 Susan P October 9, 2013 at 11:23

        No, I am quite certain it went the way of almost all college projects. It would be unlikely that it would interest anyone who was not in the class. And I have to say that even though we didn’t do anything really bad, it made some people uncomfortable. But, I daresay that Gulliver gave a few people a few uncomfortable moments.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 12:50

        It would probably interest the professor. I’ve heard things about Gulliver. Methinks it could make a good ripio.

      • 54 Susan P October 9, 2013 at 13:48

        I think you should definitely consider it while you drink your water.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 14:36

        :lol: Okay, then!

  14. 56 The Dancing Rider October 8, 2013 at 20:55

    I enjoyed the mocking so. Have not had the courage, after picking up one or more of Austen’s novels, to actually read one. Must say, the sub-title of this piece ( PRIDE AND PREJUDICE by COLIN FIR…err…JANE AUSTEN) got me laughing right at the start!

    From the sentences you quote, this appears to be highly, and deservedly, rippable!

    • 57 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:55

      Thank you! :) I was wondering if anyone would notice that!!!

      It is! Are you interested in reading it?

      • 58 The Dancing Rider October 9, 2013 at 02:00

        Oh, I’m not sure about that. Erm….. maybe not.

        Am currently mired in the 2nd of Martin’s Game of Thrones book…….and not likely to get out any time soon!

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:05

        Ooo, have heard of that. Any good?

  15. 60 Simply Skeptical October 8, 2013 at 20:54

    Well, what to say… Actually speechless is more like it. Probably because there is so much to say I don’t know where to start. The depth of emotion and decency in the P&P story is above & beyond any, in my opinion, comparison to today’s romance novels. Perhaps it is because of the time in which it was written, but how refreshing! Of course, it’s a fairy tale; but Jane Austen blends a world of real feel characters in life’s circumstances with humor, hardships, cures, and yes love in such a way that it touches one dearly. You professor are entitled to your opinion, but there must be something here since the novel was published roughly 200 years ago and is still going strong…. Please consider that!

    • 61 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:54

      Well, the professor was here 200 years ago and is still growing strong! You consider that, my dear! ;)

      Now…P&P does have some redeemable parts. It’s rippability is high. That’s good. And it’s characters are hateful–which is an interest. Surely, we mustn’t like what MT couldn’t stand. It wouldn’t be wise; it wouldn’t be professorish.

  16. 62 Quickstepp October 8, 2013 at 20:24

    Read Pride & Prejudice and Zombies. The action bits help.

    • 63 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:51

      Ooo, I’ve heard of this. Is it brutally professorish?

  17. 64 sonya solomonovich October 8, 2013 at 19:02

    “…that there are many men in possession of a good fortune who are in want of many wives”

    Hahaha good point. This opening line has been bandied about quite a bit, and you do a good job of mocking it, professor.

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 19:54

      Ah, thank you! It was dadblamery! Do you like P&P?

      • 66 sonya solomonovich October 8, 2013 at 21:22

        I do like it, despite its lack of swashbuckling. (I guess the closest it gets to swashbuckling action is Mr. Darcy getting quite peeved at Mr. Wickham and making him get married.) I like the way Austen mocks pretentious society types and the groveling fools who keep them company. I think those kind of characters are around even in today’s world.

        What about you, professor? I know you like some of the books you rip, but perhaps this is not one of them?…

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:57

        Very true. It could use some Swashbuckling. It would have been nice to see a fight between Darby and Wickham. I completely agree with you, Sonya!

        Well…MT didn’t like it, so how could the professor? No, I fear this book is not a favorite.

  18. 68 A. N. Carrola (@WarwarWarrior) October 8, 2013 at 18:50

    This is one of those really over rated books that drives me crazy. It’s so narrow minded. Seriously, it’s such an idealistic, ridiculous story…..

    And as far as Darcy, such weakness is unbelievable. A man should be stronger. Such a weakling, and priggish about it too!

    *sighs* But the women of the world will never admit to it. :P

    • 69 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 19:53

      Warrior! Nice to see you here, and thanks for helping me out!!!

      Yes, definitely weak. You have a bunch of great points.

      Too bad, isn’t it?

  19. 70 inkbelle October 8, 2013 at 18:42

    Here I am, a woman of my word. I promised I would read it if you ripped P&P, and we both kept our promise.

    In lieu of a drawn-out reply, countering all of your accusations (which I could easily and happily do – ha!), I would like to tell you that I am thrilled you followed through on your attempt to do this.

    However!

    I will defend this book to my grave. Failing to catch onto Austen’s obvious use of irony (or failure to acknowledge it) makes it look like a reach. And if you’re going to rip Austen, or any classical literature for that matter, go big or go home, man. Because if you quit half way, the book wins.

    • 71 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 19:52

      Inkbelle, welcome! Nice to see you–even if you’re here to rip the professor. :)

      Oh no, the accusations are as sound as Bob’s tail is short, I fear. You mean, you’re proud the professor read it? :)

      Really? Hmmm… You know, it’s a pity that Austen died so peaceably after committing such horrid literary offenses. I just might, you know. It’s so rippable that a whole volume of rips could be penned.

      I think it might be a life long ambition.

    • 72 Susan P October 8, 2013 at 20:52

      At long last! A ripping. I thought you forgot how to rip!

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:53

        Yes! I thought you were looking for one. :) Never! The professor loves to rip.

  20. 74 Carlotta Ursino October 8, 2013 at 16:29

    I do not see how you can “rip” such a classic of English literature. To each his own i guess, but Jane Austen was not writing in modern times so maybe the next time you feel like ripping a book try to understand the context and the time in which the book is set in.
    I find it to be wonderfully written and the way you go about ripping it just makes me think that you don’t know how to appreciate literature.
    I don’t mean to be rude, I am sharing my opinion, just like you did about the novel.

    • 75 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 17:59

      It’s quite simple. You just pick out the silly parts and magnify them. It’s a very professorish process, you must know.

      I must say, the professor understood the context perfectly. This professor is very well read, I fear.

      You see, Mark Twain had a lot to say on the matter. And the professor agrees with him wholeheartedly. Of course, Twain appreciated literature…

      No offense taken at all! I love controversy.

      A question: Have you seen the movie version with Colin Firth?

    • 76 deanthefish October 8, 2013 at 21:40

      Who told you Austen is classic English lit? While Dickens easily measures up to that description it IS DEBATABLE whether Austen does.

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:57

        :lol: Good point, Mr. Fish, awesome point!

  21. 78 technophile9 October 8, 2013 at 15:52

    Although I didn’t finish the book either, I think the first sentence was simplified for effect. I actually found it kind of amusing. But you know, pretty much all writers from the 1800s are kind of wordy! Just the style I guess. ;)

    Great post though. Everyone has their own opinion. :)

    • 79 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 17:54

      Ah, what did you think of the book? Overall? That’s very true, T.

      And the professor has a professorish one!

      • 80 technophile9 October 8, 2013 at 20:13

        Like I said, I didn’t finish it, so no full opinion. I have, however, just started to read the Great Gatsby. ;) This shall be interesting.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:47

        Oh, that’s okay. Just form a negative opinion and you’re good! ;)

        Awesome, T! Definitely let me know what you think. Do you have twitter?

      • 82 technophile9 October 9, 2013 at 16:21

        No, but I’ll let you know somehow. ;)

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 16:44

        Please do! I’m interested to see what you think.

  22. 84 Hazy October 8, 2013 at 14:25

    Well done for finishing the book, professor! Well done indeed.

    “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of not much at all, must be in want of a husband who is very wealthy and obnoxious.” — I think Mrs. Bennet would agree! :D

    Weatherly is trying to see how I’d react since I love P&P (and Darcy and Lizzy), but to his surprise, I found this ripping enjoyable to read! Is that weird? Perhaps it’s due to my haziness…

    But I still think Darcy turned out, eventually, to be impressive! ;)

    • 85 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 17:53

      Thank you! :D I’m sure Weatherly has read it.

      You know, I bet you’re right. See? Mrs. Bennet and the professor might have been friends.

      Definitely the haziness…which is akin to the professorishness. There’s just something exciting about ripios! (Weatherly’s a great guy!)

      He absolutely did! I might cover that in a later ripio…

      • 86 Hazy October 9, 2013 at 14:08

        Weatherly was forced to read it with me :D

        You’re right about ripios. It’s fun, in a way!

        Did I read that right? Do you now find him kinda impressive too? Looking forward to read that later ripio. I’m sure it will be interesting!

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 14:38

        Awesome! Hope he liked it.

        It is! It might even be hazyish…

        Yes. The professor might even dance with him! ;)

      • 88 Hazy October 10, 2013 at 15:07

        You should throw a ball! But will he dance with you? ;)

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke October 10, 2013 at 15:40

        Haha! Probably not!

  23. 90 L. Marie October 8, 2013 at 13:56

    Ripping Pride and Prejudice? That took guts.

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 17:52

      Not at all. I summoned all the professorish guts to read the manuscript. Ripping it was fun.

  24. 92 deanthefish October 8, 2013 at 13:36

    Very funny! Isn’t that how every high school term paper begins: “It is a maxim that…”

    One must be careful when illustrating a maxim that it is not limited to their own narrow world. For instance, that a man in possession of a fortune must be in want of a wife.” It varies from not only from culture to culture, but also from individual to individual. Not universal by any stretch.

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 17:51

      It does seem to be the way, doesn’t it?

      Very true, Mr. Fish, an excellent point. But the question is: Did Austen do it on purpose, or not?

      • 94 deanthefish October 8, 2013 at 19:19

        No…. the obvious reason why anyone would write in such a way is that they are trying to sound intellectual. Yes Jane, philosophy is a high art. Sorry Jane, philosophy concerned with 18th century romance isn’t particularly compelling.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 19:55

        Awesome thought, Mr. Fish! Stellar indeed. That should be quoted about, I think.

  25. 96 FictionFan October 8, 2013 at 13:16

    Oh, what a shame! I hadn’t realised you didn’t understand it – no wonder you didn’t like it! Perhaps if you read it again a few times… ;)

    And too, too bad of her not to share the American anti-U prej’dice – poor Professor!

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 17:50

      Well, don’t feel too badly for me, for Ms. Austen herself wasn’t sure what she was about.

      I fear that Austen’s original manuscript was an unholy sight. It has been fixed up rather well. We can only imagine what Twain saw.

      • 98 Anja October 8, 2013 at 17:59

        Oh professor….I have so much to say to you but alas, I’m on my phone and can’t give it the proper attention I need to. Will be back this evening when I’m home and can fully express myself. :) no katanas involved

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 18:00

        Oh dear. I feel like the professor is in big trouble.

      • 100 Anja October 8, 2013 at 18:01

        Ha I never said that. But remember I do have control over the other professor. Hmmmm think new inspiration for 4th story :)

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 18:03

        I’m glad you loved the ripio, then! (I hope nothing hateful happens.)

      • 102 Anja October 8, 2013 at 19:08

        You will have to wait and see :). Have a few good ideas

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 19:54

        I fear. The professor’s fears.

      • 104 Anja October 8, 2013 at 20:32

        You have lost faith in me?

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:52

        Never! The professor couldn’t make it without you, remember.

      • 106 Anja October 9, 2013 at 02:15

        hahaha Because that was kinda sorta nice, I will not rip you on your ripping

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:18

        But I sense that you want to.

      • 108 Anja October 9, 2013 at 02:20

        :) Well I do not agree with much you said….but that is okay. We are all entitled to our opinions even when some are slightly wrong.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:34

        A professorish opinion is never wrong–always righter.

      • 110 Anja October 9, 2013 at 02:35

        Only righter if I am not righter. Which I am righter so you are….wrong

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 02:37

        Can’t be righter than the word-professor…

      • 112 Anja October 9, 2013 at 02:38

        So if I am wronger, not righter, how am I in charge of organizing your minder

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 12:46

        That’s true. Perhaps we’ll just say that you’re right, then.

      • 114 FictionFan October 8, 2013 at 18:57

        I’ve been trying to think of a book you might actually enjoy…hmm…Jude the Obscure, perhaps?

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 19:54

        Never heard of it. I don’t hate literature remember, only the hateful books deserved to be hated.

      • 116 FictionFan October 8, 2013 at 20:16

        :lol: Told you it was obscure! Darby and I shall rise above your jealous attempts to insult him…

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:51

        Haha! The professor isn’t jealous at all. You can have Darby. Though I might dance with him. Would be interesting.

  26. 118 MissTiffany October 8, 2013 at 13:14

    First, I must commend the professor for sticking to it and reading P&P, even though he and Miss Austen do not see eye to eye.

    That being said, I of course disagree most heartily with this ripping review – how could anyone say Lizzie is dull? Her energy dances off the page.
    I did however, find myself laughing at such a take on Miss Austen’s famous words. It is true that at the time, men did want a wife – rich men especially, if only to rid themselves of the plethora of mothers trying to marry their daughters off.

    “He is also handsome,” replied Elizabeth, “which a young man ought likewise to be, if he possibly can…” I always found this line to be funny. P&P, more than just being a romance story, is a story about growing up. Do we not, when we are younger, put more stock in appearances, rather than character? Of course, Elizabeth is only teasing her sister. They all had a very favorable first impression of Bingley, and Lizzie, who values her sister’s happiness above all else, is giving her approval of Jane’s choice of “beau.”

    Again, I commend the professor for making as far as he did with this review. And I will hold onto hope that he will one day see the true merits of Miss Austen’s work.

    • 119 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 17:47

      :) Thank you! The professor is quite proud of it himself.

      Yes, it was really quite shocking. The professor didn’t expect to find Liz so dull–and…mean! I think I agree with Mr. Mark Twain: Austen must have tried to make her characters hateful.

      That is true. Good point. But…good old Liz seems to believe one can change one’s appearance. A very dull notion indeed.

      I do see the merits. Highly rippable material. In fact, it is quite unique in that sense.

      • 120 MissTiffany October 8, 2013 at 18:10

        You’re welcome.

        I am still astonished you could find Liz so dull. Never have I heard that word applied to the lovely Liz! She does hold some unfair grudges though. But that’s what the book is about – growing up and learning to look past those personal prejudices and our own pride.

        *face palm* It’s a lost cause I’m fighting, isn’t it?

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 18:27

        Well, it was kind of wicked to marry Darby because of his wealth. And I don’t believe she fell in love with him. There’s a whole rip there too. About Lydia and all that dadblamery.

        I really hope you didn’t ruin your cool hat with that face palm. No, I don’t think so at all. What would make you say so?

      • 122 MissTiffany October 8, 2013 at 18:35

        But she didn’t marry Darby for his money! If she had, she would have said yes to his first proposal. If fact, it would have been unheard of for a woman to refuse a proposal from such a man (obviously Darby knew this, otherwise he would not have been so shocked by her answer – but really Darby, how can you possibly use every manner of insult on a woman and expect her to say yes? It’s almost as bad as Mr. Collins stating his reasons for marriage. But not quite as bad, because I hate to compare the two.)

        Also, don’t under estimate the power of the white knight – Darby basically swooped in and saved the day, then asked for no credit. Women do love a good hero. Plus he was helping her family, and I’ve already mentioned how much Lizzie cared about her sister’s happiness. It’s quite attractive when a man cares for your family.
        Note also that Lizzie didn’t fall in love right away – it certainly took her long enough, and even when she acknowledged it, she never expected anything to come from it since she rejected him so soundly.

        Ah no, it was a light face palm. I’m not? You mean you may come to enjoy Austen’s work after all?

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 19:49

        That’s why she accepted the second time. She regretted her dadblame decision. Can’t say I would have done what she did, though. You’re right! There is a bit of similarity between Collins and Darby now that you say it…

        Why he did that, I’m not sure. I think Liz deserved that, personally. I thought Liz fell in love rather drastically, but the professor could be wrong.

        Yes, I already enjoy it, you know. :)

      • 124 MissTiffany October 8, 2013 at 20:07

        I don’t think she regretted her decision. I think she regretted her behavior (but I think Darby deserved it at the time). Oh no, how could I have ever let that out of my mouth…Darcy and Collins…never.

        No, don’t you remember – Liz said her herself, “It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began.”

        Ah, but what is it you enjoy? Reading it or ripping it? ;)

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 01:46

        I felt bad for Darby. The professor thinks he felt cornered at that party, and to hold a grudge over dancing only 4 dances is pure silliness.

        The professor liked the Collins/Darby comparison. There are similarities. Collins was a pretty good character, but my favorite–hands down–I hope this doesn’t shock you, was Mr. Bennet.

        I’ll have to take Lizio’s word for it since it certainly didn’t appear that way!

        The ripibilty, I think. But in all fairness, some of the dialogue was excellent.

      • 126 MissTiffany October 9, 2013 at 13:07

        I think Lizio was mostly mad at Darby for slighting her, so she then proceeded to only see the bad in him. You’ll remember Jane didn’t have that problem.

        Haha, I’m glad. You know, I would have never thought of it without the professor. Mr. Collins is a most amusing character. I delight in his ridiculousness. :) But I knew your favorite would be Mr. Bennet.

        Well, that’s alright. Good! I always thought Miss Austen was good with capturing interaction between people. :)

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 14:35

        No, Jane had her own problems, sadly.

        Yes, so do I! You did? How?

        I think she was too. (Let’s not tell Twain.)

      • 128 MissTiffany October 9, 2013 at 15:04

        I know. Poor Jane, hurt by Bingley’s pernicious sisters, the impropriety of her mother and her own sweet, modest nature. You know, there is a series BBC did called Lost in Austen where Jane ends up marrying Mr. Collins, and it is one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever seen. That Mr. Collins gives me the creeps.

        I did. I was sure Mr. Bennet’s dry humor and teasing of his ridiculous wife would appeal to you. That and Mr. Bennet is the only character in the book who seems too find the business of marrying off his daughters tedious.

        :D My lips are sealed.

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2013 at 16:38

        Oh dear. That would be horrifying. Very disturbing.

        It did! This is interesting. You seem to know the professor…

        A gracious professor.

      • 130 Jazzy Couldren October 8, 2013 at 18:43

        Hey, but it’s a really unmanly book.

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke October 8, 2013 at 19:52

        Very true, MM!


  1. 1 Ordinarily Unique pt quattro | Oh Pithy Me Trackback on October 23, 2013 at 17:12
  2. 2 Slow Dance | El Space–The Blog of L. Marie Trackback on October 11, 2013 at 05:32

Say something...anything...O Punchy Family!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,869 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on WordPress.com

Blog Stats

  • 114,261 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


%d bloggers like this: