For a Punchyish story today, the professor chose to post another portion from his writings. This is a brief history of Arthur, King of England.
Next week, the professor will be leaving for the PL, and Thursday will cover his travels and a bit of PL history.
King Uthburt and Queen Elaine of England had two fraternal twin boys—which turned into a troublesome predicament. You see, Uthburt had desired an heir more than anything in the land, and he got his wish—doubly.
Now that Uthburt had sons he no longer had to worry about his lost cousin, Drake, taking the throne once he passed on. The only problem that remained was which son should be named heir.
Of course, it seems like a very simple problem. After all, the one born first should be first in line for the throne.
But, surprisingly, Uthburt didn’t think about it that way at all. He decided (and very early on too) that the throne should be given to the son who showed the most promise. And since both boys were too young to prove themselves, it was decided that on their 20th birthday an heir would be named.
I should mention here that King Uthburt and Queen Elaine did have a daughter, who they named Morgan, years before they had their boys. As can be expected, she felt overlooked when the discussion was taking place for future candidates for the throne. But Uthburt was old-fashioned in his ideals, and he wanted a king to rule in his place, not a queen.
Soon after learning this, Morgan moved far away from her family and deep into The Chonèwood Forest, vowing never to return, forgive, or forget. As a side note, she has been a source of trouble and consternation ever since.
Anyway, though…back to the boys.
Uthburt and Elaine named one of their boys Arthur and the other one they named Richard, though he was—and is—known by his nickname: Lionheart.
The years passed and before long the boy’s 20th birthday was fast approaching. On the eve of the party, everything was going just fine. Decorations were being spread about, food was being prepared, and a general feeling of excitement was rampant in the air.
The peasants couldn’t wait to find out which young prince would be named heir.
Then, the day arrived.
Unfortunately, though, King Uthburt failed to tell anyone that he wasn’t feeling too well, and as he ascended the platform in full view of thousands upon thousands of loyal subjects, ready to name his heir, Uthburt did the unthinkable: He dropped dead.
Queen Elaine immediately rushed to her fallen husband and dropped dead next to him. Some say that she wanted to die while others say that it was a pure accident (how that’s possible, I’m not exactly sure).
Mr. Magi, I think, holds to the belief that the queen had a weak heart and that the she couldn’t bear the thought of going forward without her king. That’s where I put my stock.
Nonetheless, the king was dead. And he died without naming an heir. Excitement was no longer rampant, and panic soon set in.
Of course, Arthur and Lionheart were dumbstruck. The king had just plumb died for no apparent reason, leaving them with the sole responsibility of deciding who should become the next king.
One might think that the peasants would have had a say in the matter, but they didn’t. And had the queen survived, things would have been much different.
Not surprisingly, it turned out that both Arthur and Lionheart wanted to be the next king. So, a mini civil war broke out. I say ‘mini’ because it didn’t last long. Within two weeks Lionheart was on the run. Within three, he was defeated. And within four, he was just like his elder sister, Morgan: shamed and vowing never to return, forgive, or forget.
Only Lionheart didn’t go into exile with only his servants like Morgan did. He left with his conquered army, and they settled far away in the Polluted Mountains.
As soon as Lionheart had disappeared into the mists of The Polluted Mountains, Arthur ascended the throne.
The rest is history.
Interestingly enough, Mr. Magi is rather sure—as are some other Punchy Landers—that Lionheart is the eldest by a few minutes.
Ironic, isn’t it?