From the professor’s Life…

I vividly remember his gray beard.

He was saying something too, but this professor was thinking only about his beard. I’m not sure why. It was just the strangest beard I’d ever seen–or probably will see.

“Are you listening?” he asked, slightly angry, I fear.

I nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“Good.” He rose from his chair. “When you write a paper you… Well, you say a lot, but nothing’s really said. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

“Well, sir,” I said, “how can one say a lot and say nothing? This sounds like dadblamery to me!”

I shouldn’t have said it. The professor knew it was a mistake the moment it came out of his mouth.

“See here!” Mr. Gray-Beard roared. “Never call anything I say a dadblamery!”

But you see, the professor was quite angry now too, for Mr. Gray-Beard had insulted my paper.

“No,” I returned, “the sea is far from here, sadly. The sea’s definitely not here. So you can’t very well say ‘Sea here.'”

That got him.

He was red in the face–redder than ever.

“You’re…you’re incredibly…mean!”

I think he was looking for a better word, but that’s all he could huff out. Definitely wasn’t the kind that thought well on the spot.

“Of course I’m mean,” I returned. “Don’t you know that I mean everything I write? And if I didn’t mean everything I wrote, then you could complain. But as it is, you, sir, are the dadblamery. I stand corrected. Originally, I had thought what you said was the dadblamery, but now I know the truth!”

“Welly well!” Mr. Gray-Beard said. “I was attempting to be nice in my refusal of your paper. But now, I’ll be as mean as I want. I DON’T WANT YOUR PAPER! NOW GET OUT!”

I stood. “Before I leave, I’d like to know your name.”

“Jack Russell,” he growled.

“Now that you say it, I do see the resemblance.”

And the professor left, with his mind made up:

Mr. Jack Russell (aka. Mr. Gray-Beard) would never have to look over another professorish story again.

Advertisements

115 Responses to “From the professor’s Life…”


  1. 1 Hazy October 24, 2013 at 12:37

    I see the professor has put Mr. Gray-Beard in his place. I think he never had a chance of winning the argument from the moment he insulted your paper.

    Mr. Gray-Beard probably didn’t know that the sea was pretty far and is not here. :D (somehow I imagined him to look a bit like Gandalf)

    Jack Russells seem to look adorable. I’ve never met one though.

    (Go Sox!)

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2013 at 13:40

      Rude man, I think!

      :lol: His beard wasn’t that long!

      The professor hasn’t either. We should send Weatherly to scout one out.

      (Awesome! A fan?)

      • 3 Hazy October 25, 2013 at 16:05

        :lol: I even imagined him with a pointy hat and robes. How long was his beard?

        Weatherly will be delighted with all these missions we’re sending him out on.

        (Not exactly, but vs. the cardinals, go Sox! I’m a Yankees fan. You?)

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke October 25, 2013 at 17:04

        :lol: Just like a goatee.

        He’s a busy man! (Because he’s so good.)

        Interesting! The professor is actually a Pirates fan, first.

      • 5 Hazy October 26, 2013 at 12:24

        :lol: Too long in my imagination.

        Indeed! (Practice makes perfect, he says.)

        Nice! They’re pretty good! Any favorite players? Too bad they lost to the Cardinals.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2013 at 12:02

        Haha!

        Yes, David Ortiz, and they’re going to win the World Series, I hope!

      • 7 Hazy October 28, 2013 at 12:26

        He did very well in game 4! Glad the series is tied. Go Sox!

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2013 at 13:24

        Yes, yes! Hope they win. And thanks for rooting!

  2. 9 L. Marie October 23, 2013 at 16:01

    Oh, I so admire your gumption! Manothunder!

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 21:33

      :D I thought I might have been too mean, though!

  3. 11 Jackie October 23, 2013 at 14:26

    UGH. Mr. Gray-Beard sounds like a high school creative writing instructor I once had. Oh how I hated that guy.

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 15:16

      He needed bashed on his head with his own shinbone!

      • 13 Jackie October 23, 2013 at 16:39

        I figured eventually he will get his. Karma is a bitch! :twisted:

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 21:35

        :lol: Very true. Now I feel bad.

  4. 15 Susan P October 22, 2013 at 20:34

    Did you leave us hanging, Professor? Manothunder, Professor, you certainly gave that rapscallion “what for.” Jack Russels are yappy little things, but I likes them better than chihuahuas. They have boundless energy, and I have seen one advertising pizza a few times.

    I hope I never get on the wrong side of the professor.

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:54

      I don’t think so. Is there something I left out? I did! Was the professor too hard on the bloke?

      I must agree about Jack Russels. Pizza? Now that would be a thingy!

      Oh dear. I’ve made you afeared of the professor now.

  5. 17 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 22, 2013 at 19:19

    Hi.
    It’s National Nut Day. I thought of Cashew City…so I came by to see what was happening here.

    Thank you for sharing your rejection with us, professor. Human, as well, I see. It must have hurt no matter how briefly. :(

    Don’t take your writings to Mr. Brussels Griffon, either. (You won’t like his mustasch.) ;)

    Have a great afternoon,
    Mrs. Matheny

    :lol:

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:51

      Is it really? Now that is neat!

      Oh yes, the professor is very much a human. The professor is never hurt; he only gets sad.

      :lol: I won’t! I’m sure the mustache would be a bother.

      :lol: Very funny!

      • 19 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 23, 2013 at 01:57

        Sad. :(
        You should read my funny tubing story when you’re sad. You’d be thankful you weren’t the one living through that nightmare.

        Two laughing faces…good job, me! :D

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 12:47

        The professor hasn’t been commenting on blogs, because he’s being spammed. I’m trying to clear things up, so don’t think I’ve disappeared. I’ll see if it works today. If not, just look for the professor in the spam where he probably belongs. (That adventure sounds fun!)

        Absolutely!

      • 21 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 24, 2013 at 00:29

        May need to convince the professor he is worthy of all the praise he receives over the PL…

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2013 at 01:39

        Why’s this?

      • 23 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 24, 2013 at 01:43

        Just commenting on your reflection on living in spam.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2013 at 13:36

        That was a mean trick they pulled on me, don’t you think?

      • 25 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 24, 2013 at 20:07

        I do think. :D (Sorry, I’m in kind of a giggly mood today.)

        Mean, very mean. Yes…

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2013 at 23:17

        It’s fine being in a giggly mood! Very Punchyish.

        Yes!

  6. 27 sonya solomonovich October 22, 2013 at 18:32

    What a dadblame situation! I too get angry when people talk dadblamery about my writing.

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:49

      Of course! The professor should have bitten him!

  7. 29 ladycheetah7 October 22, 2013 at 17:50

    What was the paper about?

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:39

      Oh, just a professorish covering of news. He should have accepted it, don’t you think?

      • 31 ladycheetah7 October 22, 2013 at 22:46

        I’m going to sound like a politician and say, “Before a decision can be made we need to hear both sides and come to a mutual agreement. Now, the economy is depending in this paper and let’s not hold the Punchy Lands hostage. This is unacceptable. Now let us work together and get this paper done. “

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 23:01

        :lol: Awesome! Very creative. And what a good point. Now can you tell that to Mr. Gray-thing?

      • 33 ladycheetah7 October 22, 2013 at 23:15

        I will hold your hand while yoy tell him….

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 23:47

        :D And then we might have to use the katana…

      • 35 ladycheetah7 October 23, 2013 at 00:02

        I was so thinking that but couldn’t remember the word katana…2 funny

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 12:40

        :lol: The professor can read minds, you know…

      • 37 ladycheetah7 October 23, 2013 at 13:04

        Oh great. A mind reader. Bet yoy are clairvoyant. ..lol

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 13:22

        The professor is still mastering that.

      • 39 ladycheetah7 October 23, 2013 at 13:47

        Lol. Good luck with that!

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 15:10

        Thanks you! I’ll need it!

  8. 41 Anja October 22, 2013 at 16:35

    The professor developed a little bit if a temper I see. I think he needs some tea to relax.

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 17:47

      Was I really bad, would you say? (Yes, some cherry green tea.)

      • 43 Anja October 23, 2013 at 00:37

        Mmmmm a good green or white tea sounds good about now.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 12:46

        A white tea? What a wonder! Red tea is good.

      • 45 Anja October 23, 2013 at 13:42

        I love white tea…very delicate and cannot be in water too too hot. How about roobios?

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 15:06

        Yes, love roobios. But I’ve got to try white.

      • 47 Anja October 23, 2013 at 15:34

        White is like green but its not. :) I have a “top shelf” white and it takes very little brewing time. Very delicate. You MUST try it.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 21:32

        I’ll have to. Sounds awesome.

    • 49 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 00:36

      I recommend Easy Now tea.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 12:45

        The professor has never tried it!

      • 51 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 12:59

        Herbal sedative.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 13:21

        Ah, I see. Now it sounds scary!

      • 53 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 13:24

        Nothing scary about it – just settles my head when it’s been a jangly day.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 13:33

        A jangly day–I like that!

  9. 55 deanthefish October 22, 2013 at 14:20

    Perhaps you meant Kurt??

    • 56 deanthefish October 22, 2013 at 14:20

      GO CARDINALS!!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 14:40

        Dadblamery! The Red Sox will beat them, Mr. Fish, you’ll see! How could you lose with a pitcher like that! :lol:

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 14:40

      Kurt who? The professorish mind is lost.

      • 59 deanthefish October 22, 2013 at 14:44

        Russell.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 17:40

        Kurt Russell? He retired, I think.

      • 61 Susan P October 22, 2013 at 20:36

        I’m rooting for the Sox. So is Mr. Price. So is my son-in-law. Mr. Price would not be rooting for them if they were playing the Yankees, though.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:55

        Really? :D This is awesome! Ah, a Yankees fan. (Well, the professor wouldn’t either if the Pirates were still in.)

      • 63 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 00:37

        My son in law is a Sox fan. He and Mr. P. have at it out on a daily basis.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 12:45

        I’m sure! It must get vicious!

      • 65 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 13:02

        If you had said, “obnoxious” you would have been right.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 13:22

        :lol: Any football differences?

      • 67 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 13:28

        Football, Eagels/Steelers, basketball varies – the headaches I’ve had from listening to them discuss their brackets. My daughter and I have taken to keeping brackets ourselves filled with totally random data. It drives them crazy and makes us laugh because we hit it more often than you might think.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 13:33

        Ah, yes, the Steelers.

        :lol: It sounds awesomely fun!

  10. 69 FictionFan October 22, 2013 at 14:04

    Well, what a rude man!! But the Professor soon put him in his place! You should have pulled his beard. (I rather like Jack Russells though…)

    Is the Boston Red Sox tag some kind of subliminal advertising? ;)

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 14:39

      Yes!!! Looking back, I think I was kind of rude, though…. :lol: But then he’d punch me. Better for you to pull his beard. He wouldn’t hit a lady. (Really? A devil could take one out, I’m sure.)

      :lol: In a way, I suppose. We must root for them. Are you?

      • 71 FictionFan October 22, 2013 at 15:27

        I would have pulled his beard for being so rude to my C-W-W! I might have punched him too! (I’m not sure – they can be nippy little things…)

        Naturally! Especially if Mr Fish is rooting for the other side…

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 17:42

        Aw, thanks, FEF! Always there to help this professor! (Yes, that’s what I thought.)

        :D You’ve made the professor a very happy man indeed. I must pay you back somehow…

      • 73 FictionFan October 22, 2013 at 19:43

        Chocolate…

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:51

        I should have known that.

      • 75 FictionFan October 23, 2013 at 00:14

        You should! :D

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 12:41

        The professor shall remember, for he has a great memory.

      • 77 FictionFan October 23, 2013 at 13:53

        Yes…well…hmm!

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 15:10

        Truly!

      • 79 Susan P October 22, 2013 at 20:37

        Chocolate is always welcome.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:55

        You too? Wouldn’t you ladies rather some fruit?

      • 81 Susan P October 22, 2013 at 23:19

        Dipped in chocolate?

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 23:47

        :lol: Of course not!

      • 83 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 00:33

        Well, that’s just dadblamery.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 12:42

        :lol: It is!

    • 85 deanthefish October 22, 2013 at 15:44

      GO CARDINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • 86 FictionFan October 22, 2013 at 15:45

        GO SOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        (Did I get that right?)

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 17:45

        :D (And Patriots.)

    • 88 deanthefish October 22, 2013 at 17:00

      :roll: That’s right!

      • 89 deanthefish October 22, 2013 at 17:48

        Na-a-ah… and STEELERS!!!!!

      • 90 FictionFan October 22, 2013 at 19:42

        :lol: I don’t think I’ve ever been patronised by a fish before…

    • 91 deanthefish October 22, 2013 at 21:05

      Neither have I… what’s it like?

      • 92 FictionFan October 22, 2013 at 21:50

        Somewhere between :cool: and :lol: I think…

    • 93 deanthefish October 23, 2013 at 00:10

      I take it to mean you don’t take me seriously…. as we’ve discussed in the past, fish can be very dangerous.

      • 94 FictionFan October 23, 2013 at 00:24

        Especially as cooked by Ruber…

        (I do take Symphonist Sepperl seriously though, if that makes it any better… ;) )

    • 95 Symphonist Sepperl October 23, 2013 at 00:56

      Hmmm… well…. :)

      • 96 FictionFan October 23, 2013 at 13:52

        Goodness! Mr Fish has donned a disguise… ;)

    • 97 deanthefish October 23, 2013 at 14:58

      Actually, I took it off momentarily.

  11. 98 Angeline M October 22, 2013 at 13:30

    I once took care of someone’s Jack Russell..as he sat in my lap whilst I was reading, he leaned over and took in a snootfull of my Chardonnay that I didn’t notice until his snoot was fully inside the glass. Now if that isn’t dadblamery, what it? I fear your Mr. Gray-Beard did not understand the professor at all.

    • 99 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 14:38

      :lol: Seriously? Goodness! Well, I wonder why the owner’s let him get a taste for such things. Did he finish it, or did you throw him from you lap before he could? Complete and total dadblamery!

      Yes, that’s got to be it. But did I handle alright?

  12. 100 The Dancing Rider October 22, 2013 at 13:30

    Oh dear. That name explains a lot. Though I’m uncertain as to what to make of the rest. ;-)

    • 101 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 14:37

      Well, it’s a story from the professor’s life. So it’s very professorish and strange. We can conclude that it’s Punchyish too, if you’d like.

      • 102 The Dancing Rider October 22, 2013 at 20:46

        Definitely Punchyish! Definitely! :) (must say I enjoyed “sea” and “mean”….)

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:55

        Thank you! (I fear the professor was a bit bad!)

  13. 104 sknicholls October 22, 2013 at 13:22

    Jack Russells are mean little doggies.

    • 105 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 14:36

      Are they? I’ve heard such things, but I’m not sure. Aren’t they little things?

      • 106 sknicholls October 22, 2013 at 16:17

        They are little things with attitude. I was at a dog park and someone had abandoned one. He bit my pug when he was trying to dig a hole in the sand, and then, when I went to push him away (stupid move, but I thought I was bigger than him) he bit me, too.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 17:46

        What a miserable little creature! You should have beaten it. The professor’s shepherd would have probably attacked it.

        Did it hurt you bad?

      • 108 sknicholls October 22, 2013 at 18:17

        Not really, just scared me. He ran away when I yelled.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 22:40

        You should have just chased him and…and destroyed him! But that’s the professor’s evil side.

  14. 110 Lana Hooks October 22, 2013 at 13:17

    Dadblammit this story was wonderful! LOL!

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2013 at 14:35

      Thanks dear! It was really dreadful at the time. Do you think the professor was too mean about things? He was a frustrating old goat, though.

      • 112 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 00:40

        I think that is an insult to the goats. Goats are amazing creatures and I don’t know what I would do without my raw goat milk every day.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 12:46

        :lol: That’s it. The professor just must try goat milk. (I’m quite sorry I insulted the goats.)

      • 114 Susan P October 23, 2013 at 13:02

        :D

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke October 23, 2013 at 13:22

        :cool:


Say something...anything...O Punchy Family!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,872 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on WordPress.com

Blog Stats

  • 114,156 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


%d bloggers like this: