PL Times, E9

The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, November 4, 2013
Edition 9
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Section A. Punchy Proverbs:

(1) To be rejected is not to be defeated; to surrender is.

(2) Fear is natural, so don’t be afeared of fear; it will only make you fear fear more.

(3) If politicians could make sense—ah, but that is foolishness.

““““““““““““

Section B. Something you should know about the professor:

The professor does things without knowing why he does them. So, automatically, he’s not culpable.

““““““““““““

Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:

(1) When am I going to get a good role in a video, huh? ~ Fats Henry

A quick dialogue:

Merlin: You can tell a lot by a waxing or waning moon.

Bud Parker: Like what, bud?

Merlin: How big or small it is.

Bud Parker: Sometimes I wonder about your mind, bud.

““““““““““““

Section D. Breaking News: Interview with Manly-Man

There has been some interest in a Punchy interview with Manly-Man. If you’d like to ask a question to the manliest man, please ask up to three questions in the comments below.

““““““““““““

Section E. Featured Story: Answering Questions
by J. Freedwoppen

A few questions were posed in last week’s issue; I will attempt to answer them here.

Daddy Salami used to be a knight? I always thought that once you’re a knight, you’re a knight for life. Did Daddy do something bad to be stripped of his title? ~ Sonya Solomonovich

Great question, Sonya. Interestingly enough, Daddy Salami was a knight at one time–as was Ruber. However, things in King Arthur’s court fell apart when Lucini Pavarinni showed up.

Mr. Salami was either stripped of his title, or he left willingly. Some say that Mr. Salami is a knight from time to time. It depends on his mood.

When I spoke with the king about it, he said, “It’s too dangerous to tell Salami he can’t be a knight. But, luckily, he doesn’t seem to want to be one anymore. Besides, the whole thing has fallen apart anyway.”

I think Freedwoppen should set up an undercover investigative report about DSD [i.e. Daddy Salami’s Daycare.] ~ Susan P

Susan, upon your request, I took a look.

Nothing good to report. In fact, the situation couldn’t be worse.

So far, only about three kids have enrolled. Salami’s out most of the day, and Ruber (I presume he was forced to help) carries out his orders.

It’s no daycare.

It’s slavery.

Ruber has the kids do his chores, plus the other chores Salami wants done. When Salami returns in the evening, punishment is fierce if the chores aren’t done.

I do hope the situation will improve, but King Arthur (and all the local authorities) don’t seem to care.

““““““““““““
Section F. From the professor’s mind:

Trying to decide between a Vandoren or a Mitchell Lurie. Depends on if the professor wants to be vexed a little or a lot.

Section G. Hearing from the PL Family

PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.

The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)

————————————————————————————————————

Until next time, this is the PL Times!

 

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153 Responses to “PL Times, E9”


  1. 1 charlottewoolnough96 November 7, 2013 at 19:05

    This is great, so entertaining! My favourite proverb, the one I am using in the prologue of my novel Fireworks is:
    “When life throws a knife at you, there are two ways of catching it: by the blade or by the handle .”
    Not quite as punchy as the others !

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2013 at 19:45

      Many thanks! I hope you find it Punchyish.

      The professor absolutely loves that proverb! It’d be great to get you to turn in proverbs for the newspaper. You see, V. Shnodgrate writes the proverbs, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind one by you! That was great.

      It made more sense!

      • 3 charlottewoolnough96 November 7, 2013 at 20:31

        Great idea! I’ll try to come up with an original one, that was an old Chinese one.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2013 at 21:42

        Very good! Just email it or comment it over, and I’ll check with Shnodgrate–very cool!

  2. 5 krugthethinker November 7, 2013 at 00:41

    Oh no, I am quite concerned about this daycare situation! I request an expose! You know, something really over the top!

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2013 at 02:22

      Don’t you think DS will do a rather good job?

  3. 7 Hazy November 5, 2013 at 16:02

    A. I like 1 the most, and 2 makes a lot of sense too!

    B. Somehow, I’m suddenly reminded of the saying ignorance is bliss.

    C. Try and try until you die… er, succeed. That’s what they say. Fats Henry’s time to have a good part will surely come… I think. Probably. Maybe. And Merlin has a point. :lol:

    D. Would you help the kids in DS’s daycare? Have you crossed paths with Pavarinni?

    E. Weatherly is not happy to hear about the kids at the daycare. Maybe Manly-Man can help them?

    F. Does the professor play the clarinet? Which of the two vexes the professor more?

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 16:37

      2 is the professor’s favorite!

      :lol: Yes, a bit. Isn’t it a perfect professorish excuse?

      (Don’t tell Henry that the professor does the casting–usually. Mic has a say, though.) Merlin is always saying something simplistically profound.

      The professor should, shouldn’t he? No, upon your recommendation I’ve stayed away from him.

      Yes, he does! Probably Vandoren. Do you play an instrument?

      • 9 Hazy November 7, 2013 at 15:32

        :lol: A good professorish excuse indeed!

        (My lips are sealed! Does Mic have a say in the story too?)

        Yeah, maybe you could ask Manly-Man to do something manly and free the kids from daycare. I’m glad to hear you’re staying away from LP!

        Awesome! I bet the professor plays the clarinet quite well. (Yes, I do. Guitar, but I still have a loooong way to go!)

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2013 at 16:45

        :D

        (Yes, he does, sadly. Dadblameit!)

        I’ll ask him and see what he says. Yes!

        Oh, not that good. (Neatio! I’m sure Hazy is pretty good. And I’m sure Weatherly enjoys it.)

      • 11 Hazy November 10, 2013 at 12:30

        :cool:

        Do you have any favorite piece/s to play with the clarinet? (Weatherly says I don’t practice enough… and I’m afraid he’s kinda right :lol: )

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke November 10, 2013 at 19:36

        The professor is actually a jazz clarinetist (a dying breed), so any jazz classics!

        Hazy, you must practice more! :lol:

      • 13 Hazy November 11, 2013 at 15:06

        Jazz, nice! Lovely music. Somehow, the professor is trying to keep alive an endangered species of jazz clarenetists, no?

        Any titles you like to play more than others? Swing is under jazz, isn’t it?

        I know, but stubborn me gets lazy sometimes. :lol: I’ll try my best to practice more!

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2013 at 18:29

        Yes, it seems that way! :lol:

        It is! Well… In the Mood is very fun to play. And In a Sentimental Mood is nice. Do you have any favorites?

        :lol: The professor understands completely!

      • 15 Hazy November 14, 2013 at 16:30

        In the Mood is indeed fun! I love The Nearness of You. And I always enjoy listening to Benny Goodman’s version of Sing, Sing, Sing. :)

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke November 14, 2013 at 19:05

        Great tune. Isn’t Goodman just fabulous? Does Weatherly like it?

      • 17 Hazy November 17, 2013 at 09:41

        Fabulous he is! Yes, Weatherly likes it. I find him dancing to it sometimes when he thinks I’m not looking! :D

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2013 at 15:06

        :lol: Weatherly dancing ought to be a scene!

      • 19 Hazy December 7, 2013 at 10:38

        Yes indeed! :lol: He even wags his tail when dancing.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke December 7, 2013 at 20:29

        :lol: That would nice to see!

  4. 21 MissTiffany November 5, 2013 at 14:20

    Hmm, proverb number 1 is my favorite today. It’s quite true. Oh, an interview with Manly-Man? Interesting. Well, I just have one question for MM: What is his favorite dessert?

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 16:30

      Maybe it will be marshmallows?

      • 23 MissTiffany November 5, 2013 at 16:46

        Perhaps. He strikes me as a man who enjoys peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but that’s not really a dessert. Just plain marshmallows, you think?

        P.S. I do have a reason behind my questions about food.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 17:58

        I’m not really sure. You could be right. I think it will be quite interesting to see how he answers. We must remember that MM was once the normal Jazzy Couldren.

        Really? Why, why?

      • 25 MissTiffany November 5, 2013 at 18:03

        I am terribly interested. Yes, that’s right! I had almost forgotten…it should make for some interesting answers!

        It’s quite simple really. If I ever have the chance to visit the Punchy Lands, I should want to be able to host a magnificent garden party to get to know everyone, and I need to know what kinds of foods everyone likes.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 18:09

        It should!

        That sounds like fun. Would the professor be invited? How about DS?

  5. 27 Anja November 5, 2013 at 10:32

    I’m a day late because I am battle some dreaded sickness….grrrr little kids. I should send my students to DS day care.
    Anyway….question for Manly Man…..Doesn’t he think a true manly man should have a romantic side as well? :)

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 14:01

      Oh dear! Hope you get better real soon. Have plenty of tea. (I’m sure DS would like more…slaves.)

      Well! Perhaps a Manly Man might have a romantic side, but it’s a common truth that this professor has noteth.

      • 29 MissTiffany November 5, 2013 at 14:21

        No romantic side indeed…that’s why you are at odds with Miss Austen.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 16:30

        :D Thanks you! See, Anja? No romantic side at all.

      • 31 MissTiffany November 5, 2013 at 16:44

        It’s true, Anja. Even after reading the story of Darcy and Elizabeth, still nothing. ;)

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 17:57

        No, it brought out the killing instincts.

      • 33 MissTiffany November 5, 2013 at 18:05

        We tried our best. oh well.

  6. 34 Angeline M November 5, 2013 at 05:56

    My interview questions for MM:
    1.What exactly is it you do in Asia, and who is Jaguar?
    2.Are there slot machines in Lost Vegas?
    3.What exactly do you do when you get Jazzy… get snazzy?

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 14:00

      :lol: Great questions, for sure. I like third…snazzy, it will be good. Do you think the professor should do the interview?

      • 36 Angeline M November 5, 2013 at 14:57

        I think it would be great fun if someone from PL who is totally unjazzy would do the interview…maybe like Ruber?

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 16:32

        Well, Ruber is hard to get into the studio. He’s a dadblamed dadblamery!

      • 38 Angeline M November 5, 2013 at 17:08

        OMG! :)

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 17:59

        Oh dear! What did I say?

      • 40 Angeline M November 5, 2013 at 17:09

        Then I guess it falls to you.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 17:59

        Not a good option, is it?

  7. 42 sonya solomonovich November 5, 2013 at 05:13

    Ok, I had to look up what a Vandoren was. The professor plays some sort of instrument?

    • 43 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 14:00

      Yes, he does!

      • 44 sonya solomonovich November 5, 2013 at 17:40

        I suppose the type of instrument will be revealed in due time?

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 18:06

        I’ll tell you: Clarinet.

      • 46 sonya solomonovich November 6, 2013 at 20:55

        You learn something interesting about the professor every day!

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke November 6, 2013 at 22:58

        Even scary things!

  8. 48 sonya solomonovich November 5, 2013 at 05:11

    Thanks for investigating my question! Very interesting indeed… I still can’t quite picture DS as a knight. Oh well.

    I do have some questions for Manly Man:

    1. Tell us more about how you became Manly.
    2. Aside from yourself, which Punchylander do you consider the most manly?

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:59

      It does stagger the imagination, doesn’t it?

      Awesome! (But you do know the obvious answer to the 2nd question is the professor…)

      • 50 sonya solomonovich November 5, 2013 at 17:39

        I should have thought of that! :) But I didn’t know the professor was an official Punchylander.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 18:05

        I suppose he’s not, overall. Thanks for believing in me! :D

  9. 52 The Dancing Rider November 4, 2013 at 22:47

    Proverb: A tight race between one, and two. Three is, as the proverb ends, foolishness! :) I think I must choose one for the depth, two for the fun and truth.

    HA HA, I love the professor’s lack of culpability! :)

    Section C is not sitting well, as I am currently knackered. I would like to perhaps knock their heads together, and see if something intelligible came out! ;-)

    Question for Manly-Man: tell me about your transformation (into Manly-Man), or, was it just a name change?

    Breaking News: JUST as I thought! Now for my question. WHO gets the punishment?! It is probably poor Ruber, as they are his chores!

    From the Professor’s Mind — I will vote for as little vexing as possible! :)

    • 53 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 23:40

      The professor’s favorite is two!

      Isn’t it awesome? Quite handy, you know.

      I would bet that it would be as dull as ever.

      Awesome question! (You should ask a mean one, too.)

      Ruber and the kids, I fear!

      Yes, yes, I must agree! But which is that?

      • 54 The Dancing Rider November 5, 2013 at 14:19

        A mean question for Manly-Man? “What makes you think you can dance?”

        Oh, not the daycare kids, too. Just Ruber! Would DS actually punish the poor kids?!

        Well, Professor, I have no idea which reed would be the less vexing. I say, dear fellow, toss a coin (assuming the coin is not to Punchy-ish, and actually has two distinct sides), and live with the consequences! ;-)

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 16:29

        :lol: Love it, DR!

        Yes, I fear he would. And you know this too!

        :lol: Great advice!

  10. 56 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 20:56

    I think I like the first proverb. It actually makes sense. :D

    Do you think that your philosophy of unknowing will get you through in a court of law?

    Is Fats always a whiner?

    Interview: who gave you the nickname of Manly man, and what exactly do you mean by it?

    I’ve always thought Pavarinni was a suspicious character.

    Is there no Family and Children in Social Services in the PL? Someone needs to rescue those three kids.

    • 57 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:20

      Don’t all the proverbs make sense, dadblameit?!

      Yes, don’t you? Especially if you’re there helping the professor out.

      A bit, I’d say. But I kind of agree with him in this instance.

      Great question.

      Yes, he definitely is no good!

      Not in the Dark Aged England. Perhaps you’ll go save them?

      • 58 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 22:22

        Maybe after I get over the time change. Too many time changes to go back that far.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:31

        Haha, the professor sees what you mean.

      • 60 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 23:43

        Dadblameit! Why can’t they just let nature take her course?

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:52

        Because they like vexing people, I think.

      • 62 Susan P November 5, 2013 at 22:10

        That would explain a lot.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 23:40

        It would, yes.

      • 64 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 22:23

        An awful lot of them leave me scratching my head. Maybe they don’t mean what I think they do.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:32

        Shnodgrate is strange at times.

      • 66 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 23:44

        Only at times?

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:52

        Shh. What if he’s listening?

      • 68 Susan P November 5, 2013 at 22:11

        I have a feeling he may be listening. :D

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 23:41

        Dadblameit!

  11. 70 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 20:34

    Americanised turn of phrase…

    I think FF is always charming to the Professor and deeply appreciative of his wit and talents (she said, winking).

    Is the Professor being a bit of a wuss? Surely not!

    4. How would you best describe your style of dancing?
    5. Do you think you are as manly as Mr Ratherquite?

    I’m afraid I had to take an unbreakable oath never to reveal the secret of the water bomb before they would tell me how to do it. The fire hose was more a matter of survival… ;)

    It is a great regret to me that I wasn’t aware of the pleasures of Giant Worm Hunting at the time, because we were always looking for new hobbies for the boys and I suspect they’d have loved that. They really enjoyed introducing me to all kinds of interesting wildlife – anything with six or more legs really. For some reason, they seemed to enjoy the screaming. Not so sure I’d have wanted to teach them about the knife-throwing, though I’m pretty sure they’d have loved that even more…

    • 71 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 20:36

      Oops, sorry! Forgot to press reply…

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:19

        Problem none.

    • 73 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:17

      I think FEF beats up on the professor and then is really nice to him, and then beats up on him, and then is really nice to him. It leaves this old head cloudy.

      Yes. A spider wuss to be precise. This reminds me of Venom.

      Two more questions! Goodness!

      The professor is beginning to think that FEF was attacked by this group from time to time.

      :lol: I think the professor should have been there to deal with them. Though, there’s really no reason to be scared of the crawly things.

      • 74 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 23:59

        I think the Professor is well aware that FF holds him in the highest esteem at all times…

        I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to spiders myself – though Tommy is finally developing spider-hunting capabilities that the Master of the Giant Worm Hunters himself would be proud of.

        Yes, but only the first is compulsory – the Professor may choose which two of the others should be asked.

        The Professor would not be completely wrong! ;)

        Yeuch! Yucketh! And eek! Definitely a boy thing…I wish you had been there – anything with more than four legs (or with no legs!) gives me the collywobbles.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:57

        :)

        Oh no, the professor isn’t scared of spiders, he’s a spider wuss like Venom called Spiderman. Spiders are interesting creatures. The Brown Recluse has a powerful bite in those dentures!

        I shall ask all, if it’s okay with you.

        Goodness! And I’m assuming it was before Tuppence, so there was no one to protect you. Oh dear.

        :lol: Understandably!

      • 76 FictionFan November 5, 2013 at 15:47

        What? Only a :) ? I felt sure that deserved a :D at the very least!

        Biting spiders – ooh, what a great idea for a Christmas gift. You should tell BUS about them…she loves spiders… ;)

        By all means, if you wish.

        I was very brave back in those days…

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 16:35

        I wanted to do the green monster one, but I can’t remember how. I’m like BUS sometimes.

        The professor will send you a few recluses if you send some humbugs. A fair deal, I think.

        You’re still brave, I’d imagine.

      • 78 FictionFan November 5, 2013 at 17:18

        :mrgreen: you mean?

        Are recluses tasty then? And mint-flavoured?

        Depends – thirty rioting teenage boys – no problem. One daddy-long-legs…aaaaarrrrrrrrghhhhh!

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 18:05

        Yes! What does it mean, do you think?

        I’ve never tried them. One bite and–it’s rather horrid.

        30? Yes, very brave. Just pick them up. They’re quite calm about the matter. It might take you some time to get a hold, since their legs are always falling off. But they’re only poisonous to other bugs.

      • 80 FictionFan November 5, 2013 at 19:20

        I assume it’s supposed to be jealousy – but I don’t think it looks like that. It’s a strange one…

        Yeuch!

        Collywobbles!! The legs falling off bit is the worst!! What is that all about? What kind of creature can’t even hang onto its own legs properly? I ask you! They only do it, I’m sure, because they know it totally freaks me out! Eugh!

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 20:09

        Oh…I thought it was super, super happy. I think we need more options in the smiley department.

        :lol: Yes, I suppose it’s a bit disturbing. I’m sure Tommy would come to your rescue, if you’d ask him nicely.

      • 82 FictionFan November 5, 2013 at 22:16

        I agree – I particularly miss having a ROFL – sometimes a LOL just isn’t enough…

        Huh! You think I haven’t asked him – begged – pleaded? Only once has he listened! Cats, eh?

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 23:45

        Yes, that’s a good one. And I’d like a mean laughing face, too.

        Well, if you protected him from Tuppence a little more, he might help. Just crush the dadblamed thing with your boot!

      • 84 FictionFan November 6, 2013 at 01:37

        Well, I quite like :twisted: as a mean laughing face.

        Ooh, no, I couldn’t kill one! Not without chemical weapons anyway…

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke November 6, 2013 at 02:12

        Never supposed it was a laughing face!

        :lol:

  12. 86 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 4, 2013 at 20:29

    #2 Fear over over something you cannot control is a waste of time. Fear over being bitten by a snake, quite different. It’s survival.

    Oh my, that only counts if there is a drug of some sort involved, professor. Too much caffine can make your heady cloudy. It’s always good to learn more about the professor.

    Manly Man: Not sure what I’d ask that hasn’t already been mentioned.

    That daycare providor needs a swift hand.

    Depends on the instrument, I’d say. (I’m not even going to ask, because I’m sure you won’t tell.)

    • 87 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:14

      But what about fear of a peaceable, loving snake?

      It should count for this professorish one, though.

      Oh, you must ask at least one! (Any question will do.)

      DS?

      Clarinet.

      • 88 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 4, 2013 at 22:25

        Well, I guess I’d call her a chicken.

        Well then I’d say you’re in the right place. The PLF seems very understanding.

        I’d like to help you. A hint maybe. I will research MM.

        Yes, DS. Who else.

        Thank you.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:35

        I thought you were going to argue that there are no sweet snakes, Aud.

        :D Aren’t they (you) great?

        Well…(personally, I’d ask him about his alter ego Jazzy Couldren.)

        I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do about him.

      • 90 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 4, 2013 at 22:39

        ;) Well, I should have but seems I would be beating a dead horse. :) I think you think I’m a sissy. (That was nice.)

        I believe so. I think.

        Ok. I shall come up with something earth shattering to ask.

        Pitty.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 23:37

        Not at all! (You were tough on the river, if I recall. The professor would have probably perished out there.)

        They are!

        Very good.

        Tis true.

      • 92 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 5, 2013 at 01:08

        I fear that I was mearly left without options on that river, it wasn’t that I was feeling tough.

        Yes, of course they are!
        1. I’d like to know if Jazzy is sorry for what he did to his wife and daughter, and if he thinks he’d be an even better businessman if he served his time and got out on good behavior? (Professor VJ, I think you’d better have a battle suit.)

        2. Does Jazzy feel comfortable as a wolf in sheep’s clothing? I wonder, does he howl at night? (This question may get the professor hurt.)

        3. Has he ever considered that Arnold Arnak and Anna Furber may be working together to get his suit. That they may have a plan of their own?

        (Feel free to disregard any questions.)

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:59

        But you were tough in the end!

        Aud, the questions are simply fabulous! I can tell you looked into MM’s past. Great questions. Twill be a joy to ask!

      • 94 Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 5, 2013 at 14:16

        Thank you. Are you sure? I did look into his past.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 16:29

        Positive. Great questions, truly!

  13. 96 L. Marie November 4, 2013 at 19:59

    For the proverbs, I choose #1. And for questions to ask of MM:
    How’d you get to be so manly?
    What’s your favorite food? Does it aid in your manliness?
    What is your exercise regimen?
    Do you have a motto?

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:13

      Great questions! Do you think the professor should do the interview or Alb?

      • 98 ladycheetah7 November 4, 2013 at 22:48

        You

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 23:40

        Really? Why?

      • 100 ladycheetah7 November 5, 2013 at 00:07

        Alb and MM might get into a fight. At least if you do the interview it will go smoothly, as long as you don’t antagonize him.;-)

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:58

        The professor will be his normal sweet self.

      • 102 L. Marie November 5, 2013 at 01:16

        The Professor, definitely.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:59

        Okay, then.

  14. 104 ladycheetah7 November 4, 2013 at 16:36

    This week’s Punchy Proverbs, I am not feeling it. No, not so much. Section B where PVJ is not guilty, PAH-LEEZE. You dear sir knowingly or unknowingly shall be beaten with few and not many stripes for your ignorance. I dare say no one can escape.
    I figured Daddy Salami would turn it into a sweat shop, just a little disappointed that Ruber would follow pursuit but I guess the apple in this case doesn’t fall far from the tree. And DS being a knight? Good luck with that!
    :-P

    • 105 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 18:16

      But you just must pick a favorite!

      I thought that was a pretty good argument and you just blew it out of the water. Perhaps, you could testify in my favor?

      Unless Ruber was forced. Don’t you think DS makes the perfect knight? Valor, honor, and all that?

      (If it’s okay with you, I’ll take your previously asked questions for the MM interview.)

      • 106 ladycheetah7 November 4, 2013 at 20:36

        Sure by all means use those questions. I like the question about asking you if you are as manly as MM is. Interested in hearing your response.
        Sorry, none of the proverbs resonate with me but I will say your section was my favorite.
        Daddy Salami is a PL gangster and I would not be surprised if he will use those children in his franchise and Ruber always has a choice.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:19

        The professor won’t say anything about it. If I said I was more manly, MM would destroy me; if I said I was less manly–how could I live with myself?

        Proud professor!

        Ruber has been known to rid himself of DS on occasion.

      • 108 ladycheetah7 November 4, 2013 at 22:44

        I would have to agree. It is important for you to honor your masculine integrity by not debating it. Good call. Especially with such media hype in the foot ball arena..

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 23:38

        But…but…but…I think you said that on purpose!

      • 110 ladycheetah7 November 5, 2013 at 00:03

        Now you are pulling my coat tail….

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:58

        The professor wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.

  15. 112 Painting Pundit November 4, 2013 at 15:27

    For Manly-Man

    How did you get away with the whole bathtub thing?

    • 113 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 16:13

      Haha, great question! But do you think it will make him cranky?

      • 114 Painting Pundit November 4, 2013 at 16:23

        Probably so but he should just man-up and answer the question!

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 18:15

        You are absolutely right! The question will be a great one to ask. Just give the professor your best wishes.

      • 116 Painting Pundit November 5, 2013 at 14:03

        Good luck!

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 16:28

        Many thanks!

  16. 118 Jazzy Couldren November 4, 2013 at 15:23

    I’s gonna ask Manly: Is you as manly as they say?

    • 119 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 15:26

      You’re not allowed to ask yourself questions.

      • 120 Jazzy Couldren November 4, 2013 at 15:37

        :roll:

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 16:13

        Don’t roll your eyes at me, young man!

    • 122 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 15:42

      Good question! But I think MM should be subjected to a truth drug before answering…

      • 123 Jazzy Couldren November 4, 2013 at 16:06

        Manliness is always truthful. He’s to manly to not tell the truth.

      • 124 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 16:56

        I hope he remembers that when he’s answering questions about the bathtub incident!

      • 125 Jazzy Couldren November 4, 2013 at 18:23

        Why does you talk about me in third person?

      • 126 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 20:16

        Because you does too…

  17. 127 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 14:44

    Goodness! i quite like all of the proverbs this week – Shnoddy must’ve hired a ghostwriter…

    A good try, Professor, but that defence won’t stand up in a court of law…

    I’m with Bud…

    1. Why did you throw your wife and daughter in a bathtub?
    2. Why did you throw your wife and daughter in a bathtub?
    3. Why did you throw your wife and daughter in a bathtub?

    The Daycare sounds good! If only more children were turned into slaves – at least then they would serve a purpose…

    The Professor is an enigma…

    • 128 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 15:25

      This is quite amazing. Perhaps it will go in the history books as “The Day FEF liked *all* of Shnodgrate’s proverbs.”

      It might, though. At least, I’m counting on it. And doesn’t it make sense?

      So am I.

      :lol: Oh dear. I can’t imagine how the interviewer is going to ask this. MM could get angry. Do you think Alb should do the interview?

      Okay, the professor must needs know: What does FEF have against children? What happened?

      Why sayest thou this? ( :D )

      • 129 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 15:51

        Ahem…quite liked…

        I’d just go with the insanity defence, if I wert thou…more believable… ;)

        No, I think it’s a job for the Professor! Only he has the courage to face the wrath of Manly-Man! (I may come up with two other questions later…)

        Well…the truth is I worked with boys with behavioural difficulties for several years. My view may be a little jaundiced! (Best job ever, in reality – loved those dadblamed little so-and-sos – such fun!)

        Thy references to Vandoren and Mitchell Lurie wert incomprehensible to me, as is so often the case when thou speakest…oftimes because the Professor is American or mayhaps because he is timeless… ;)

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 16:17

        Who? The professor?

        You mean, the professor should say he’s insane? But he’s very sane! (You spelled defense wrongly, dear. What have thou got against ‘s’s?)

        I do hope you ask more!

        Very interesting. Would never have thunk it. (FEF, you know, could be classified as an enigma too.)

        Haha, the professor digs the accent. Both are actually different makes (or cuts, I suppose) of reeds. Much clearer now, isn’t it?

      • 131 FictionFan November 4, 2013 at 17:08

        No! I more than quite like the Professor – I meant I only quite liked the proverbs…

        Yes, of course he is (she said, humouringly). I think you’ll find I spelled ‘defence’ correctly, my dear Professor. I can’t possibly be held responsible for the Amerisan victimisation of ‘c’s (she said, haughtily).

        OK –

        1. Why did you throw your wife and daughter in the bathtub?
        2. How many sit-ups can you do before fainting?
        3. Having disposed of your wife (see question 1) are you now looking for a Womanly Woman, and if so who would be your ideal?

        Does that surprise you, then? I learned all kinds of useful things from my boys – how to make water bombs, for instance. And how to work the fire hose…

        Much clearer! Obviously you would have to cut the reeds to get through to where the worms are hiding…

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 18:22

        Oh! Haha, I took “quite like” to mean “really like.”

        What an interest!!! I like the conversation tags. What an inspiration!

        I think FEF is always humoring, or being haughty to, the professor, isn’t she? That is, when she’s not laughing him to scorn.

        Love the questions. But the third will be a bear. Maybe I’ll let Alb do the interview after all.

        Extremely surprises me does it! And it’s an intense interest. You must teach me the secret of the water bomb, and how to work a fire hose! (See? I’m sure your boys would have been interested in giant worms too.)

        :lol: Not those kind of reeds!

      • 133 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 21:02

        I just ignore things I don’t understand. I have an unbeatable rule about not encouraging someone else’s cheeky remarks.

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:21

        Is the professor cheeky?

      • 135 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 22:24

        I bet you can be. :D

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:32

        Personally, I think he’s too sweet.

      • 137 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 23:45

        No, not too.

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:53

        :shock:

      • 139 Susan P November 5, 2013 at 22:12

        What?

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 23:43

        The professor is shocked that you don’t think him sweet.

      • 141 Susan P November 6, 2013 at 00:09

        Wait. That’s not what I said.

      • 142 Susan P November 6, 2013 at 00:10

        What I said was not too sweet. Don’t be putting words in my fingers.

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke November 6, 2013 at 02:07

        So you think he’s sweet after all. How glorious!

      • 144 Susan P November 6, 2013 at 13:54

        Well, George seems to think so, and I almost always listen to George.

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke November 6, 2013 at 17:07

        Haha. You should *always* listen to Mr. Bailey.

    • 146 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 20:59

      Good questions!

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:21

        Interview questions? I agree!

      • 148 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 22:24

        Yes. Good interview questions. Did I say that already?

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2013 at 22:32

        Yes, yes! But so did the professor. Great questions.

      • 150 Susan P November 4, 2013 at 23:45

        Gadzooks! By chikit they ARE good questions.

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 13:53

        :lol: By Punchy Murdoch’s beard, they are!

      • 152 Susan P November 5, 2013 at 22:11

        Punchy Murdoch has a beard?

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2013 at 23:41

        Yes, a long white one.


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