Blatherings: Investigating Daddy Salami’s Daycare

This professor decided it would be a good idea to travel to the Punchy Lands and see what Mr. Salami was about.

After all, his daycare had suddenly evaporated, and I was very curious to see what he was up to now.

I found Salami sitting outside his hut, on the edge of a forest in England, grinning.

“Ah, Mr. Salami!”

“Well, P.VJ…”

Then he laughed his laugh.

“Why don’t ya join me?”

“Because there’s not another chair?” I hinted.

“Ya don’t need a chair! Lazy cur-noodle.”

“So, Mr. Salami, what are you doing nowadays?”

Salami’s mouth dropped open. “I work hard ta keep food on me table. As we speak, Ruber is making me me lunch.”

“Chicken and beans?” I asked.

“No, not this time. Hehaha. I told ‘im ta make ‘Fishes in Trout.'”

“Sounds like dadblamery to me.”

Salami tensed. “Watch your mouth or I’ll bite your tongue out!”

What a threat. This professor didn’t really take him seriously, but…maybe I should have.

“Fishes in Trout is a great meal,” Salami continued. “Ya get a big fish and many little, scrawny ones. Then ya stuff the little fishes in the big fish, close it up, and cook it till it steams. Hehaha. Sounds good, doesn’t cur-brain?”

“Well…I’d say it sounds a bit…unsatisfying.”

“Not at all. After ya eat it, ya won’t want anything else.”

“I believe you. Where did you get the fish?”

“From the Cavootti pond.”

“Didn’t King Arthur say–”

Salami laughed. “He says a lot. But nobody listens.”

There was a slight lag, but as you know, dear PLF, there’s no awkward moments with the professor.

“So, how’s your daycare doing, Mr. Salami?”

I said it right out. No sense in not doing so.

“They left me. The kids left. But it doesn’t matter. I’ll go steal new ones.”

“Do the parents care?”

“Hehaha. Na. Nobody cares. Not everybody is as good a parent as I am to me boy, Ruber.”

At that moment, a voice called out from inside the hut:

“It’s ready, dad!”

Salami rose. “Let’s go eat lunch, P.VJ. You’re invited.”

And I knew by the look in DS’s eyes, I had no choice. It was going to be Ruber’s cooking for lunch.

What would you have done, PF?

 

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92 Responses to “Blatherings: Investigating Daddy Salami’s Daycare”


  1. 1 Hazy December 7, 2013 at 11:05

    “Ya don’t need a chair! Lazy cur-noodle.” – Love it. Rude of him to say it to the professor, but I shall attempt to mimic DS, praticing this line. :D

    I think I would’ve probably had lunch with them too… If I tried to run, do you think DS would have come after me?

    So how was the Fishes in Trout?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke December 7, 2013 at 20:31

      But don’t you say it to the professor! :lol:

      Yes, he might have. That’s why I didn’t run.

      Not too tasty. I really wouldn’t recommend it. Too bad it was Weatherly’s day off…otherwise DS would have caught it!

      • 3 Hazy December 8, 2013 at 04:06

        Of course not! Wouldn’t even dream of it! :lol:

        I thought so too. But do you think you could outrun DS?

        Yeah, too bad it was. Did you finish the Fishes in Trout?

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke December 9, 2013 at 15:00

        :lol:

        No, I don’t think so, but it really depends on DS’s mood.

        I gave most of it to Ruber, I think.

  2. 5 L. Marie November 21, 2013 at 21:29

    What would I have done? I would have hollered, “Look over there!” then run for the hills. That’s what I would have done.

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 23:51

      :lol: The professor would have went with you!

  3. 7 Painting Pundit November 21, 2013 at 01:22

    How did you know the fishy fish wasn’t infused with the pink potion?

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 02:08

      Ooo, great question! I didn’t, but then again, I didn’t think about it. But it turned out to be okay on that end. Still not sure if it was safe to eat. Would you have tried it?

      • 9 Painting Pundit November 21, 2013 at 02:31

        Oh no!! I would have run for the hills! I’m not brave enough to stand up to DS! I worry about those children from the daycare. Even though they were rescued, they will probably never forget the evil DS!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 16:27

        I think you’re right! The professor would run far away too. DS would leave a lasting impact.

  4. 11 Jackie November 20, 2013 at 23:21

    Make up an excuse and get the hell outta there! No offense or anything but I think you might be a push over Professor!

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 02:04

      :lol: You’re right! This isn’t how the professor should be acting! I’ve got a katana after all.

      • 13 Jackie November 21, 2013 at 02:07

        There you go! Now your facing in the right direction! 8-)

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 02:08

        Yes! The professor is a warrior after all!

  5. 15 Anja November 20, 2013 at 22:55

    Okay, you said the daycare totally evaporated (which if it is a solid material, that would be fun to see)…or did you just mean the children disappeared?

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 23:04

      It was just professorish speak. Don’t you like professorish speak? Yes, the children did.

      • 17 Anja November 20, 2013 at 23:06

        Of course I like professorish speak but with my mind, I think phrases very literally at first…well the images…so I had this picture of somehow the building melting and then evaporating….

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 02:01

        :lol: But it was a neat professorish image!

      • 19 Anja November 21, 2013 at 02:10

        It was very neat…I enjoyed it so had to ask. I think next time it should really evaporate.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 02:17

        Now that would be neat….

      • 21 Anja November 21, 2013 at 02:21

        Just saying….you’re welcome

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 16:25

        :D

  6. 23 The Dancing Rider November 20, 2013 at 22:02

    Not so fond of WP’s dadblamed “View Original” thing….. curses!

    Wow, Professor. No one seems to care too much about those poor children! :/

    As for that horrid, and really nicely described, fish within fish dinner, it looks like you made it out alive, or you wouldn’t be writing this account, yes?

    However, I may very well have said “No, DS, DEFINITELY not!” And left!

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 23:03

      They need beat at times, I fear.

      I know! Well, Aud does, at least. And I bet you do too.

      Very true. The professor did make it out. (I passed the majority of the meal off to Ruber.) Would you have tried it?

      What if he would have chased you?

  7. 25 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 20, 2013 at 21:35

    :lol: A story of two old goats sitting around, cursing in the yard, oh it must be Wednesday. :) I like picturing you sitting on the ground and listening to DS, but be careful!

    It seems DS is right, no one cares, not even the parents. Shocking. Sad.

    Stand up and get in there, professor. That’s what I’d do. Have a look around the place. Talk to Ruber a bit. :)

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 22:58

      Did you just call the professor an old goat? :lol:

      No, but Aud does!

      And eat the fish?

      • 27 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 20, 2013 at 23:32

        All the while laughing? Yes, I admit it, I did. Wasn’t it funny. I giggled lots and lots.
        I do, I do, I do care.

        Well, unless you plan on beating them, then yes. Sally on up there, P. VJ. :) (I’d be hiding behind you holding on, hiding my head as if we were headed into a haunted house.) I don’t mind fish. Fish stuffed with fish…like crab or tuna? Possibly. Now I want sushi, thanks a lot. ;)

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 02:06

        :lol: It was dadblame humorous! Because the professor is an old goat, but that’s supposed to be a secret.

        That’s why you saved them.

        Haha, sounds like an adventure! The professor never had sushi, but I’d try Ruber’s fish if you did.

      • 29 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 21, 2013 at 03:15

        :lol: Well it was actually just a joke. You’re the one acting as if you’ve lived forever. I like surprising you.

        Yes, it is.

        I would be an adventure, we’d have to have your bravery and courage, then I’ll come in from behind and wow them with my humor and dimples.

        Never had sushi? I like the milder versions, the stuff with rice, avacado, tuna or salmon. I can’t handle raw pieces of fish sushi. Seems gross. Pinky promise to try the fish right after I do…

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 16:29

        Interesting that you chanced upon the truth, though, isn’t it?

        Of course!

        Nope never. No. The professor can’t make such promises. Too dangerous.

      • 31 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 21, 2013 at 17:39

        I don’t know that its truth.

        Well if I eat that fish and you run. Thats a problem. LOL

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 20:59

        But it is.

        It would be hilarious!

      • 33 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 21, 2013 at 21:03

        Good thing old goats are fun to be around. Do you eat clothes, as well?

        Which part? You running off and leaving me with fish breath, or watching me eat the fish? I think you should pinky promise and make me feel better about chosing to follow you into his hut.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 21:13

        No, not yet, I hope.

        Okay, I promise. We’ll both try it.

      • 35 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 21, 2013 at 21:19

        Me either.

        Aww, see that wasn’t hard. :)

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 23:44

        Just a little hard…

      • 37 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 21, 2013 at 23:46

        I understand.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke November 22, 2013 at 00:10

        Thank you!

  8. 39 Sonya Solomonovich November 20, 2013 at 18:55

    I would actually be curious about this dish and would try some!

    He wants to steal new kids? I gotta say I admire Daddy Salami’s persistence in the field of education :D

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:54

      You would try some of Ruber’s fish? You just might be surprised.

      Haha, DS probably thinks it’s for the better of England.

  9. 41 Susan P November 20, 2013 at 18:42

    “daycare had suddenly evaporated” that would have been a treat to see…

    What would I have done? I rather believe would have headed to the ladies room and forgotten my way back.

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:54

      :lol: I don’t know if I meant that literally…

      But what if there’s no ladies room?

  10. 43 Angeline M November 20, 2013 at 18:07

    The more I read about DS, the more I love him. I can’t wait to call somebody a lazy cur-noodle…that’s sure to cause a stir :)
    Fish in Trout, I think Ruber’s got something Epicurious would be interested in, sort of like turducken.
    STEAL more children? Oh DS! What a mind he has. Love it!

    • 44 Susan P November 20, 2013 at 18:33

      I’m with you, Ms. Angeline!

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:51

        You love DS too?

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:50

      :lol: I’m sure it would! You definitely have to tell me when you use it. I should use it too… “Hello, Mr. So-so, you’re a lazy cur-noodle!”

      Hmm…you think he could make some money of his invention?

      :lol: Such dastardly designs! Someone must stop him.

      • 47 Angeline M November 21, 2013 at 03:00

        So I used “you lazy cur-noodle” on my chef today…he would like you’re email address.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 16:27

        Was he insulted? :lol: This is the professor’s email: micpencilpoint@gmail.com.

      • 49 Angeline M November 21, 2013 at 03:02

        Dadblamery…I meant to say your not you’re

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 16:27

        Problem none!

  11. 51 technophile9 November 20, 2013 at 17:24

    I would pretend to collapse. Salami would just think you were ill. ;)

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:48

      That’s actually a very good plan, Joe. But…what if he tried to force-feed you?

      • 53 technophile9 November 20, 2013 at 20:54

        Then I would run as far as my legs would carry me. :P

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 22:54

        :lol: The professor is with you!

  12. 55 krugthethinker November 20, 2013 at 17:14

    Fishes in trout! Oh my goodness! I am happy the professor lives to tell about it!

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:48

      So am I! It was a close one, Krug!

  13. 57 ladycheetah7 November 20, 2013 at 16:54

    Said no thank you and walked away.

    • 58 Susan P November 20, 2013 at 18:35

      I’m wondering if Gollom came from the PL.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:52

        It’s a possibility, Susan. Maybe Zez knew him…

    • 60 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:46

      But he wouldn’t have listened to that, you know. He would have tried to force you.

      • 61 ladycheetah7 November 20, 2013 at 20:07

        You don’t understand. I’m grown. I do what I want to do.
        :-P

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 22:53

        But, but… Good for you, Lady. You must teach the professor how.

  14. 63 deanthefish November 20, 2013 at 16:29

    Sounds good to me!

    • 64 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 16:37

      The fish sounds good to you, Mr. Fish?

    • 65 Susan P November 20, 2013 at 18:36

      I think you best beware of someone who makes lunches from fish in fish, Mr. Fish.

      • 66 deanthefish November 20, 2013 at 19:35

        :mrgreen:

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:52

        Very well said, Susan. Mr. Fish should listen.

      • 68 deanthefish November 20, 2013 at 21:26

        Hadn’t the professor better listen first?

      • 69 Susan P November 20, 2013 at 21:44

        :D

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 22:58

        :cool:

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 22:59

        :)

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 22:57

        To what?

  15. 73 Debbie November 20, 2013 at 16:11

    Little fishes inside one big fish?? Yuck, professor! I’m afraid I’d have made an excuse not to join him. Perhaps a suddenly-remembered allergy to seafood or something?!

    • 74 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 16:36

      I know. It does sound horrible. But the professor couldn’t escape. What if Salami didn’t care about your allergies?

      • 75 Debbie November 20, 2013 at 16:43

        Salami probably doesn’t care about allergies. But I’d bet he wouldn’t like me hurling all over his home!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:42

        :lol: I bet not! Sometimes force works with DS. For instance, look him in the eye and say, “Absolutely not.” That could work

      • 77 Susan P November 20, 2013 at 18:37

        Apparently, you have survived.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:53

        I’m not sure how I did it.

  16. 79 FictionFan November 20, 2013 at 15:52

    Run!!!!!!!!

    Hehe! Loved the line about ‘ya won’t want anything else.’ The Professor’s response was so…so…ambiguous! (It made me chuckle mephistophelianly.)

    I do hope you survived…sometimes it must help to exist outside the bounds of physical reality…

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 16:35

      But I think he would have chased me…

      As is the professor so is his response. :D You know, I’m still not sure what mephistophelianly means on the spot?

      I gave Ruber the majority of my portions. Who the professor? Nah!

      • 81 FictionFan November 20, 2013 at 16:58

        Oh, I’m quite sure the Professor could outrun a walking sausage!

        The real problem is not what it means, but trying to say it…

        Oh good! Did it make him very ill? (FF crosses her fingers.) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Otherwise how could he be timeless?

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:48

        :D Oh yes I could!

        I agree. The professor can’t say it at all.

        FEF! That’s very wicked! But it did, I think. That’s true. Sometimes I forget I’m supposed to be timeless.

      • 83 FictionFan November 20, 2013 at 20:59

        Oh, Ruber deserves it! Especially if the big fish was…no, the thought is too horrible…our Mr Fish? If so, I hope he’d already done the music for future Friday treats…

        Supposed to be?

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 22:55

        Haha! Mr. Fish is about to work on new ideas…. But I do think it was Mr. Fish’s grandfather.

        Look how you talk!

      • 85 FictionFan November 20, 2013 at 23:05

        Can’t wait to hear what he comes up with the space skits… :D

        (No, I will not be wearing lederhosen, Cheeky Chicky – the socks just wouldn’t suit my image…)

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 02:00

        It will be interesting! We just hired a new voice guy, too…

        You know, I think a bow tie might look nice on you.

      • 87 FictionFan November 21, 2013 at 14:10

        Ooh! Not…Patrick Stewart???

        :lol: It might amuse the Professor to know that, back in the decade that style forgot, FF owned a purple velvet bowtie. Hard to believe, I know, but it was considered very :cool: at the time…

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 16:34

        No, it was James Earl Jones.

        :lol: How neatio! You must wear it all the time. :lol:

      • 89 FictionFan November 21, 2013 at 17:22

        New characters?

        Perhaps I do… ;)

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke November 21, 2013 at 20:58

        Maybe…

        I bet you do.

      • 91 Susan P November 20, 2013 at 18:38

        You really should find out what it means. Maybe the Lady and I should get together and make a dictionary.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke November 20, 2013 at 19:53

        Yes, that would be awesome. The professor is always struggling with words. And you should both wear those shorts…


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