This professor decided it would be a good idea to travel to the Punchy Lands and see what Mr. Salami was about.
After all, his daycare had suddenly evaporated, and I was very curious to see what he was up to now.
I found Salami sitting outside his hut, on the edge of a forest in England, grinning.
“Ah, Mr. Salami!”
Then he laughed his laugh.
“Why don’t ya join me?”
“Because there’s not another chair?” I hinted.
“Ya don’t need a chair! Lazy cur-noodle.”
“So, Mr. Salami, what are you doing nowadays?”
Salami’s mouth dropped open. “I work hard ta keep food on me table. As we speak, Ruber is making me me lunch.”
“Chicken and beans?” I asked.
“No, not this time. Hehaha. I told ‘im ta make ‘Fishes in Trout.'”
“Sounds like dadblamery to me.”
Salami tensed. “Watch your mouth or I’ll bite your tongue out!”
What a threat. This professor didn’t really take him seriously, but…maybe I should have.
“Fishes in Trout is a great meal,” Salami continued. “Ya get a big fish and many little, scrawny ones. Then ya stuff the little fishes in the big fish, close it up, and cook it till it steams. Hehaha. Sounds good, doesn’t cur-brain?”
“Well…I’d say it sounds a bit…unsatisfying.”
“Not at all. After ya eat it, ya won’t want anything else.”
“I believe you. Where did you get the fish?”
“From the Cavootti pond.”
“Didn’t King Arthur say–”
Salami laughed. “He says a lot. But nobody listens.”
There was a slight lag, but as you know, dear PLF, there’s no awkward moments with the professor.
“So, how’s your daycare doing, Mr. Salami?”
I said it right out. No sense in not doing so.
“They left me. The kids left. But it doesn’t matter. I’ll go steal new ones.”
“Do the parents care?”
“Hehaha. Na. Nobody cares. Not everybody is as good a parent as I am to me boy, Ruber.”
At that moment, a voice called out from inside the hut:
“It’s ready, dad!”
Salami rose. “Let’s go eat lunch, P.VJ. You’re invited.”
And I knew by the look in DS’s eyes, I had no choice. It was going to be Ruber’s cooking for lunch.
What would you have done, PF?