The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, December 16, 2013
Section A. Punchy Proverbs Competition:
(1) Trees are Manly; they never change their place. ~ Manly-Man
(2) Don’t go about searching for others’ approval; all that matters is that you have your own. ~ V. Shnodgrate
(3) The rain is a good thing; it brings food for some, and drink for others. ~ Merlin
Now, PF, who wins? Which proverb is the best?
Section B. Something you should know about the professor:
He really wants to change the picture on his desktop, but he likes it too much to do so.
Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:
A short conversation:
MR. RATHERQUITE: Sir, you are rude and very crude. Did I tell you that?
SCHWARZ: Don’t know if you did or not, but I don’t care. Chickit!
MR. RATHERQUITE: You should accept others’ criticisms with joy.
SCHWARZ: I don’t accept my own…so…why would I accept yours?
Section D. Breaking News:
Jazzy Couldren’s wife and daughter lost their lawsuit. Mr. Couldren gets off without paying a cent.
Professor VJ Duke was arrested in France for his suspected part in smuggling poisoned fish into the country from England.
(NOTE FROM THE PROFESSOR: It is a lie, PF, a complete lie. The professor would never be so wicked.)
Section E. Featured Story: Professor Duke’s Arrest
by J. Freedwoppen
After Napoleon, Emperor of France, signed a trade embargo against King Arthur of England, Arthur had poisoned fish smuggled into France in an attempt to “destroy” the emperor.
The plot was foiled when one of Napoleon’s food testers dropped dead.
Professor VJ Duke was arrested for his supposed part in the plan, and is awaiting his trial.
(As a side note, last time I visited Professor Duke, he said that he was attempting to break out of jail. He was almost sure that he would be sent to the guillotine–even though he is quite innocent.)
Section F. From the professorish mind:
Guillotines are scary, wouldn’t you say? In fact, the professor would rather take on these merciless beasts than face the chopper.
Have you ever noticed that your favorite song sounds the same every time you hear it?
Until next time, this is the PL Times!