PL Times, E20

The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, February 3, 2014
Edition 20
—————————————————————————————————-

Section A. Punchy Proverbs:

All proverbs—unless noted otherwise—are written by V. Shnodgrate.

(1) To think about doing something good is righteous; to act, is divine.

(2) To think is important. So important, in fact, that your enemies will try to deter you from the practice.

(3) To actively think may be very important, but it should be prohibited for fools.

Favorites, PF?

***

Section B. The professor speaks:

The professor would like to throw knives. And the time is getting very close.

***

Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:

A short conversation:

DADDY SALAMI: Ruber! Your daddy be scared. Hehaha.

RUBER SALAMI: Whatever about, eh?

SALAMI: Valentine’s Day is coming!

RUBER: So, what? King Arthur doesn’t celebrate that holiday! And, plus, we’re in the Dark Ages. There is no such thing as Valentine’s Day.

SALAMI: You’re a cur-brain, sausage-brain. Can’t you see past the limitations?

***

Section D. Breaking News:

Professor VJ Duke visited Gertrude, the Queen of Austria, along with Schwarz Tauptinker (who was trying to sell the queen tulips).

***

Section E. Featured Story: Party
by J. Freedwoppen

Mr. Ratherquite created quite a stir at one of Prince Beef’s parties when he announced that, “to be in the company of a lady is far more exhilarating than to be in the company of a gentleman.”

Professor VJ Duke disagreed on the spot, prompting Mr. Ratherquite to challenge Mr. Duke to a duel.

Fats Henry broke in and yelled, “You’re splendidly stupid, Mr. Ratherquite!”

And that’s when Mr. Magi made the peace, saying, “Mr. Ratherquite is half right. Sometimes it is that way, and sometimes it is the other way. Just like sometimes the world is round and sometimes it is flat.”

This prompted a whole new discussion.

***

Section F. Ask a PL’er a question:

Any questions for a specific PL’er? Ask here!

***

Section G. Hearing from the PL Family:

PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.

The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)

The PL Times!

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223 Responses to “PL Times, E20”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 August 12, 2014 at 18:39

    Another heroic last-minute save by Mr. Magi. :-P
    I love all the proverbs. Excellent!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke August 12, 2014 at 20:09

      Many thanks! *bows* Yes, isn’t Mr. Magi great? So…smart.

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 August 12, 2014 at 23:28

        He is indeed. ;-)

  2. 4 themofman March 5, 2014 at 04:53

    “To be in the company of a lady is far more exhilarating than to be in the company of a gentleman.” Quite true.

    • 5 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:13

      Oh, do you think so? Why so, my man?

  3. 6 Hazy February 5, 2014 at 13:38

    (1) gets my favoritism. A lovely thought indeed.

    Oooh~ Knife throwing party? Shall I start sharpening?

    Hmm… sounds like DS has something mischievous planned for V-day…

    The audience with the Queen went well, I hope. (the tulips were fresh, weren’t they?)

    Was the duel canceled then?

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:50

      It sure is.

      Yes, and make sure Weatherly comes along. :)

      Sometimes I feel sorry for him, you know.

      Yes, Schwarz does a pretty good job with Tulips. Surprisingly!

      Yes. Mr. Magi ruined the fun. But it wouldn’t have been too fair… ;)

      • 8 Hazy February 13, 2014 at 05:36

        Oh, Weatherly is in. And he’s very excited about it!

        Maybe he uses a special kind of fertilizer… Should I be afraid to ask what it’s made of?

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2014 at 14:47

        Great.

        You know, he wouldn’t tell me…

      • 10 Hazy February 23, 2014 at 04:43

        Ignorance is bliss, perhaps. :D

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:47

        Perhaps so!

  4. 12 Jennifer February 5, 2014 at 03:59

    #3 of the proverbs for sure and I have the perfect targets for your knives. It isn’t very nice, but then these don’t deserve nice, and I am not in a nice mood.

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:37

      :lol: The professor is quite curious. What is the target?

      • 14 Jennifer February 5, 2014 at 19:40

        I was going to say, but I won’t waste my breath or your knives on them. I was feeling rather vindictive when I wrote it

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 20:00

        Ooo, viciousness is a good quality. I’m so curious!

      • 16 Jennifer February 5, 2014 at 20:07

        Let’s call them [expletive]-knuckle 1 & 2 aka the hubby’s parent ship aka my in-laws. I’m won’t say any more but just know I’m not exaggerating. (Also, about viciousness, you haven’t seen anything yet, do not get on my wrong side)

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 01:38

        Well, hope all goes well. I’m glad the professor isn’t on your bad side!

      • 18 Jennifer February 6, 2014 at 02:21

        I’m sure you’ll be right, it takes a bit to get me like this and things don’t look good for the other.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 13:54

        You could always borrow the throwing knives. ;)

      • 20 Jennifer February 6, 2014 at 20:33

        That could be an option, although I must ask, are they worth it?

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:08

        Probably not. You have devils, though. Way more powerful then a few knives.

      • 22 Jennifer February 7, 2014 at 01:23

        True, but if I’m anything like my friend Veronica, knives would be handy.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:44

        Can she throw?

      • 24 Jennifer February 7, 2014 at 02:16

        Sure, but how good her aim is, I’m not sure.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 15:55

        :lol: And the rotations. very important.

      • 26 Jennifer February 7, 2014 at 22:00

        Ah, now that there may be a problem. I’ll leave the knives, and so will she. Thanks :-)

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke February 8, 2014 at 14:50

        I should have the sense to, too. But I can’t.

      • 28 Jennifer February 10, 2014 at 06:32

        Once addicted, always addicted. You gotta have one vice, even if it’s dangerous to others…

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2014 at 17:05

        This one’s professorish too. I better just stick with it.

  5. 30 Anja February 4, 2014 at 10:35

    I absolutely love #1 however, #2 warns enemies will try and stop you from thinking and yet in #3 you say prevent fools from thinking….do you see something wrong there? How do you determine who the fools are yet you become the enemy of one you deem a “fool” and they should not let you stop them. A bit elitist? How can you say enemies will try and stop you from thinking and then say fools should not be allowed to do it?

    • 31 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:19

      Oh dear. You’ve spun the professor’s mind around in a square. Let me see…

      Are you right? I think that’s a question for Mr. Fish. He’d know what’s what.

      Madam, you’ve totally gardoobled my mind!

    • 32 deanthefish February 4, 2014 at 21:55

      Dear Anja,

      Proverb 1 concerns initiative and Proverb 2 concerns philosophy.

      Mr. Shnodgrate is using the term “think,” here, loosely. The “thinking” referred to in Proverb 1 is clearly linked to potential action. It is the contemplation of a good deed.

      And this is where the philosophy takes over. A fool, ipso facto, cannot have a strong grasp on what is good and cannot contemplate a good deed. So, Proverb 1 does NOT apply to a fool, not because a fool should be prohibited from thinking but because a fool cannot know good.

      I think you were looking at it the other way around. In which case, the “should” in Proverb 3 must be read in the sense of: “I should practice, but…”, “I should brush my teeth, but…”.

      Philosophy often, is only wishful thinking.

      Respectfully submitted on behalf of The Professor,
      The Fish

      • 33 Anja February 5, 2014 at 01:47

        That you “The Fish”….however….please re-read my first comment. I never mixed Proverb #1 with the other 2. I said I liked that one and it stood on its own ground. Trust me, I understand philosophy and I had many a class and use it daily in my work. :)
        Now….back to 2 and 3!
        2 warns that enemies will try and stop you from thinking. Which, I agree with but it is followed up with talking about fools should be prohibited from thinking. First…if you are trying to stop someone from thinking, then you are placing yourself as the enemy of said person. No matter what….
        Second…is there a judge and jury to determine who the fools are? Because I can say many true judges and people called to be on a jury are sometimes the biggest fools themselves. I do not like labeling anyone. So if you disagree with someone, they are a fool? I think that means one should look in the mirror to see the true fool.

      • 34 deanthefish February 5, 2014 at 22:39

        Anja,

        My comments were in jest. I’m sorry if you found them insulting; I didn’t mean anything by it.

        The Fish

    • 35 deanthefish February 5, 2014 at 02:09

      Ah! I see.

      I must point out that The Punchy Lands does not define or recommend guidelines by which foolish people are recognized in either of these proverbs.

      With that said, No. 2 says that enemies will deter you from thinking, and you agree with that. Moving on.

      No. 3 merely acknowledges the presence of fools. And then adds, important as thinking may be, it might be better if fools abandoned the exercise altogether. They mightn’t be very proficient at it. And as I pointed out earlier, “should” does not mean “shall.” It is philosophical as in, “oh, wouldn’t it be nice.”

      So once again, the burden of defining fools in whole or in part is not carried by any of these proverbs. If you think a disagreement is inadequate cause, we probably agree you.

      Now is that clear!?!?!?

      A little less respectfully submitted, but remaining humbly yours,
      The Fish

      • 36 Anja February 5, 2014 at 02:18

        I have been perfectly clear this entire time, starting in the beginning. I was just simply pointing out a few items.
        I know what philosophical means….as well as the difference between “should” and “shall”. I just have issues with thinking or wishing that any person should not think. One who would follow that line of logic I would guess does not put themselves in the “fool” category so then…who are the fools? I do question who they are if it is being wished they didn’t think.
        Now sure why it is “less respectfully submitted” either but *sigh* just sharing my thoughts. Had no idea that would cause such a comment as that.
        Have a good evening!

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:32

        I hope Mr. Fish didn’t confuse you, Anja. You know, you bother are confusing the professor.

      • 38 Anja February 5, 2014 at 19:37

        He didn’t confuse me at all. I understand philosophy and thinking very well. I don’t need to write a lot of words to try and make myself seem like I know more than another.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:59

        The professor should try and think more himself. You like philosophy???

    • 40 deanthefish February 5, 2014 at 03:18

      It was less respectfully submitted because… I’m always looking for different ways to sign off. ;)

      A very good evening to you as well :D

      Most amused by the brief discourse,
      The Fish

  6. 41 Jackie February 3, 2014 at 23:57

    I can’t decide between proverb 2 and 3! Personally speaking, I wish Valentine’s Day would just go away! What an overrated holiday. It’s completely meaningless and illusionary.

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:13

      And weird. What is a Valentine exactly, Jackie?

      • 43 Jackie February 4, 2014 at 00:26

        Strictly speaking, it’s a card that you give someone you love on Valentine’s. Day. Why we need a holiday for such things is beyond me! The nice cozy happy things that Hallmark spews out is just an illusion that they want you to believe. Why? Simple! It’s so they and other huge and faceless companies can sell things and make money.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:07

        Aha! It’s dadblamery, then. Except if there are chocolate covered cherries.

  7. 45 sknicholls February 3, 2014 at 23:06

    (2) To think is important. So important, in fact, that your enemies will try to deter you from the practice.

    Some folk want you to react. It empowers them when you do.

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:11

      It’s almost like baiting, huh?

      • 47 sknicholls February 4, 2014 at 00:13

        Yes, they do bait. When you react you are allowing someone else to have control over your behavior. I say don’t.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:14

        Just stand there and smile. I think you’re right.

  8. 49 The Dancing Rider February 3, 2014 at 22:39

    #1 is interesting. To actually *do* something is quite difficult! :) But each of them is good, and I like them all this time. #2 might be a favorite….

    Uh-oh, not sure about what “the time is getting very close” means with respect to knife throwing … :/

    I’m with Ruber. At least HE knows what time he’s living in!

    I love Mr. Magi’s compromise! Mr. R would most certainly lose at any duel, wouldn’t he? I’m certain Mr. Magi knows this

    • 50 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:07

      Very good point. Doing is the dadblame part. 2’s my favorite. :D

      Just getting back to doing it. The weather needs to be nice, you know.

      The Ruber does have sense.

      Especially to the professor! ;)

  9. 51 weggieboy February 3, 2014 at 21:26

    (1) To think about doing something good is righteous; to act, is divine.

    I think it might be stronger this way: To do something good is righteous; not to tell about it to gain approbation or gain is divine.

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:05

      That’s very interesting, for sure. I see what you’re saying.

  10. 53 Debbie February 3, 2014 at 19:04

    Oooh, MUCH better proverbs this week, Professor — I’m rather partial to #1, but the others are spot on, too!
    Is the Professor angry? Why does he want to throw knives? (Or is that some sort of game or pastime in The Punchy Lands?)

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 23:53

      Awesome! My favorite was 2. Isn’t it Twain-ish?

      It’s actually a sport that this professor enjoys. (I throw at a wooden board, you know.)

  11. 55 Angeline M February 3, 2014 at 18:07

    I’m sending DS a Valentine card and some chocolates because I believe in proverb #1.

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:59

      :lol: DS would probably be shocked and pleased. Would you be nervous?

  12. 57 MissTiffany February 3, 2014 at 17:48

    Hmm, a lot of thinking going on in this week’s proverbs. Is Shnodgrate trying to tell us something? like number 2 the best.

    I think it is very cool the Professor throws knives, and he should take it up again. I for one, miss shooting the bow. I’m ready for spring now.

    I am shocked to hear of this duel with Mr. Ratherquite, Professor. Though perhaps when you disagreed with him you did not men that gentleman are better company than ladies, only that gentleman and ladies can be equally stimulating company?

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:58

      Yes! And it’s the most Twain-ish, which means you like Twain. :D :D :D

      You’re right. And archery is so cool, too.

      Yes, that’s what I meant. I mean, wasn’t Mr. R wrong?

  13. 59 Tonia February 3, 2014 at 17:33

    OMGOSH, you are a HOOT !! :)

    A. def no 3. I am tired of the stupid ppl in my life who dont stop to think logically. How do i bear patience with this breed?

    B. I hope you are not mad at ME. lol :)

    C. Def V’s day should be cancelled. The greeting cards company love it. It is so painful for those who have no one and they feel so sad and I feel for them. Then there are those who receive because others are pressured to give them ‘something.” Aargh..who can enjoy token gifts!? Then of course we must feel for those who are pressured to come up with something..geez…what a dilemma.

    E. I have to agree w/ Mr Magi..half right ..depending on if the person is hetero or not..

    I love the names you come up with for your characters. those alone keep me in stitches. You’re a cutie! :)

    • 60 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:57

      A hoot? I like that lots. :D

      Well–do you threaten to use your katana if they don’t talk sense?

      No. Why would I be mad?

      It is. I think the professor is completely out of the loop. I wasn’t even sure cards were sent.

      Mr. Magi was just trying to keep the peace. Doesn’t he say silly things sometimes?

      Many thanks! (But they’re real, you know.)

      The professor?

  14. 61 bardictale February 3, 2014 at 17:25

    The first is my favorite, the second a close second. I liked it less because it wasn’t as positive as the first, and I’m in a cheery mood today!
    What type of knife? At whom or what they will be thrown? And will it be part of a show?

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:55

      :D That’s good. The 2 reminded me of something Twain would say–so it was my favorite.

      It’s a throwing knife. Really sweet, you know. A wooden board. No, I just do it for fun.

      • 63 bardictale February 3, 2014 at 19:10

        You should put on a show, professor!

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 23:56

        But I’m not that good, you know.

      • 65 bardictale February 4, 2014 at 04:52

        But you are the professor, so it doesn’t matter, does it?

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:18

        Would you laugh me to scorn?

      • 67 bardictale February 5, 2014 at 04:49

        That wouldn’t be very nice, professor. Why would u do that?

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:37

        Well, if I’m not really good and all…

      • 69 bardictale February 5, 2014 at 19:41

        I still wouldn’t laugh at you. Not without you asking me to, that is.

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 20:00

        Well, then, that’s fine! :D Thanks, Bard.

  15. 71 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 3, 2014 at 16:49

    I think Shnodgrate and I need to have coffee. 1. I love this one. 2. Currently happening 3. I wrote a poem this weekend about feeling like a fool. How strange.

    Goodness is all I can say. I think the professor needs to teach me.

    Love seeing past limitations. Great logic.

    Tulips are nice. I only wish they last a little longer. Their beauty goes by too fast.

    I’m hoping we get to hear the discussion. Mr. Ratherquite has a great point. I’m glad there is a romantic in the PL. Mr. Magi, now, there he goes being all fantastic, but I’d like to think someone could change his mind.

    I can say that I’m not sure who I would want to see win this duel. I always pull for the romantic…but it is Duketh and all…I’m so torn. ;)

    I think, Freedwoppen, you need to investigate why the professor was so quick with his response. Please…

    • 72 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:53

      Is 2 happening? How? Very cool! You should have coffee with Shnodgrate. Audith is never a fool.

      You wouldn’t throw at me, would you?

      Who would have thought DS was capable!

      The professor isn’t even sure what they look like.

      You can’t agree with Mr. R, could you?

      Duke is a romantic.

      I’ll send it in! (What response?)

      • 73 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 3, 2014 at 20:55

        I kinda think my post explained it. Nasty voice of fear. Thank you, Duketh.

        NEVER!

        Not me…I know that much. :)

        Too bad. They could rival your favorite flower..those stinky ones. What are they called?

        When it comes to adorable romantic men, oh yes I could. It is the Audith way.

        Duke, you have been saying you’re not for as long as I’ve been reading this blog. 5 months now…now you change? Doubtful
        or you’ve found love, which is a good thing.

        (Your response to Mr. Ratherquite. You have opened a can of worms, my dear.) Good luck! :)

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:04

        Fear is nasty. Dadblame him!

        :D Well, that’s nice.

        I forget what they’re called. Must look… Let’s just call them Beetle Flowers.

        The Audith way sounds…interesting.

        Oh the professor is. He just says he not at times.

        (It’s going to be vicious!)

      • 75 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 4, 2014 at 01:15

        *put your hands down* No need to have covered your face, Duke. I promise not to throw them at you.

        They were not called beetle flowers…see I get nowhere here…

        Interesting, seems normal to me.

        What a relief to hear. I will not say a word. ;)

        (I cannot wait.) :razz:

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:09

        And I do believe you!

        But I like that name better, methinks.

        That seems right.

        Keep it the deadest of secrets!

        Why the tongue?

      • 77 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 4, 2014 at 22:00

        I don’t know, really. I guess because I took vicious to mean you’ve gotten deep with the discussion this week, and you’ll be pulling yourself up by your boots straps to clear things up. Unless of course you plan the take no prisoners approach, which you may. And probably will now that I think it through. Best of luck, Duke.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 22:30

        You’re very thoughtful–more than the professor. I do like the latter one better. :D

      • 79 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 4, 2014 at 22:41

        No just ask around. I tend to be more selfish than you think. I figured!

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 00:50

        Oh, in a good Audith way, maybe!

      • 81 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 5, 2014 at 01:58

        Yeah maybe.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:32

        No, I know.

  16. 83 L. Marie February 3, 2014 at 15:44

    I have to go with #1. Just because. A duel would have been interesting. Did Mr. Ratherquite slap you with a glove? Don’t you think you could have beaten him? Or would the ladies have cheated and helped him?

    • 84 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:50

      No, Mr. Magi intervened. Well, Mr. R is overweight and fluffy, you know. I don’t think the ladies would have joined in, but… If it was hand-to-hand the professor would have won!

  17. 85 walt walker February 3, 2014 at 15:28

    Would Mr. Freedwoppen be able to investigate what if anything is being done about keeping the world round? Just asking because when it flattens out I sometimes have to go back the way I came in order to get where I was going. It’s inconvenient, you see.

    • 86 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:48

      :lol: I definitely see. The professor will put the question in and it will be answered next Monday. (Did you get back alright?)

      • 87 walt walker February 4, 2014 at 02:41

        Yes, just took a bit longer than I’d planned. A very good bit. Thank you for your concern.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:17

        Someone should get sued, don’t you think?

  18. 89 Bethy February 3, 2014 at 15:10

    I do like all the proverbs, but I think #2 might be my favorite.

    You are doing a lot of traveling! England last week, Austria this week. Do you travel by boat, train, or plane?

    When is the world round and when is it flat? I would like to know!!

    Have you ever thrown knives before? What kind of knives will you throw? Will it be at people or just things. Such a lot of questions!

    • 90 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:45

      Yes! Mine too! Twainish, it is.

      I travel by the professorish balloon. :)

      According to Mr. Magi? You know, I’m not sure. He was just trying to be smooth, I think.

      Yes, the professor has. They’re throwing knives, and I usually throw at a board. I should post some pictures when the time comes!

      • 91 Bethy February 5, 2014 at 18:40

        Twainishness is very coolio.

        Ooo! I want a ride!

        You should post a picture! When the time comes of course. Hopefully it won’t be like the jam.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:58

        It is. :)

        It’s really fun!

        The jam?

      • 93 Bethy February 5, 2014 at 20:20

        Jam yesterday and jam tomorrow, but never jam today!
        When the time comes isn’t like that is it?

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 01:40

        It sure seems that way, I think.

      • 95 Bethy February 6, 2014 at 15:50

        Two and five Gurgles!

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 17:49

        :lol: No jam?

      • 97 Bethy February 7, 2014 at 14:47

        Not today! :D

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 16:02

        :P

      • 99 Bethy February 8, 2014 at 12:04

        :P
        You walked right into that one!

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke February 8, 2014 at 15:04

        I always do, you know… :)

      • 101 Bethy February 10, 2014 at 14:32

        Just to see what happens?

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2014 at 17:07

        No, unwittingly.

  19. 103 FictionFan February 3, 2014 at 15:08

    Ooh, torn between 1 and 3…but I think 3 has it. Of course, that means that befuddled old fool Shnoddy won’t be allowed to think any more…so that’s an added bonus.

    At whom?

    Oh, I must start working on a special Valentine for my Schwarzy! I wonder if he’ll sing a special Valentine song, just for me…(sigh!)

    Schwarzy’s such an entrepreneur, isn’t he? He’s soooo talented! And it was good of him to take the Professor along as a trainee…

    I’m in the ridiculous position of agreeing with Mr R and disagreeing with the Professor!! The world must be flat after all! (Mr Magi really is turning into Shnoddy these days…)

    ( :lol: Your tags have reached new heights today, C-W-W!)

    • 104 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:44

      :lol: And the professor liked #2–sounded Twainish. You’re so mean to Shnoddy. I bet he looks like the indian.

      A board. Unless you have an other idea?

      Dear me. (What is a Valentine?)

      Schwarz grows tulips–which is a wonder. He’s what they call a Tulip Fancier. None of that for the professor.

      I think Mr. Magi was just trying to keep the peace. And you know Mr. R was partially wrong!

      ( :lol: I just type them in as they come.)

      • 105 FictionFan February 3, 2014 at 22:56

        Ah, so it made you think of moustaches? Now I see why you like it. Which Indian – Vin or Georgy? If he looks like George, you’re off the hook – I’ll dance the cotillion with Shnoddy (even though he’s so befuddled he’d probably get all the steps wrong).

        Well…I have a little list…but the Professor probably isn’t wicked enough…

        Tell him I like Burns lovesongs, will you? (What is a Valentine?? :shock: You’d better find out very quickly – because if FEF doesn’t get a valentine from her C-W-W, there will be trouble! Here’s a hint…)

        Roses are red
        Violets are blue
        The Professor’s so sweet
        And Mic is too

        :lol: I’d like to be a Tulip Fancier! No, the Professor prefers geraniums.

        Mr R was totally and utterly correct and you should apologise forthwith, young man! (Correct in so far as men are concerned – for me, obviously, to be in the company of a gentleman like Schwarzy – or the Professor of course – is far more exhilarating…)

        (It’s a fascinating glimpse into the Professorial thought processes…)

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:09

        Geo is the only indian, FEF. Vin is not an indian. He’s an alien. (The professor would get the steps wrong, too, though.)

        Oh yes I am!

        Schwarz won’t even comprehend… (I really have no idea.)

        :lol: You’re version is…is… (insert a scream)

        The professor doesn’t know what a geranium is.

        I think that’s a compliment even though I’m being yelled at. It’s very befuddling. But I shan’t apologize until you spell it right.

        (Or scary.)

      • 107 FictionFan February 4, 2014 at 01:50

        Well, I’d like to believe you that Shnoddy is the Georgy of the PL, but how well I remember the cruel Ratherquite/Darby trick you played on me…the Professor likes to break FEF’s girlish heart, I think…

        Are you? :cool: I’ll send you the names by carrier pigeon…can’t trust the Internet these days. (The pigeon is codenamed C-W-W – it seemed appropriate somehow.)

        You underestimate my Schwarzy (jealousy). He’s probably practising Ae Fond Kiss at this very moment. (Ignorance will not be accepted as an excuse.)

        :lol: Did Mic like it?

        Sweet-smelling, like the Professor.

        :lol: I’d forgotten that as well as dropping all the ‘u’s Americans change all the ‘s’s to ‘z’s (which of course you mispronounce). Zo zorry! By my reckoning that meanz you live in the good ol’ Z of A…

        (Or befuddling.)

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:15

        But you like Mr. R. I was right about that. And you just took his side over the professor’s!

        :lol: Are you calling me a pigeon?

        What’s Ae Fond Kiss? Is it an opera? (It usually works for me, though. Can’t you please except it?)

        He loved it. :P :P :P

        They’re like me, huh? Do the attract beetles?

        :lol: :lol: Currently seeking for a new descriptive word for you…wicked is outdated!

        (I’m not befuddled.)

      • 109 FictionFan February 5, 2014 at 02:20

        Well, he does seem to have a better appreciation of ladies than most of the PL’ers, whose influence sadly seems to be rubbing on on my C-W-W…

        :lol: No but you have to admit it’s a good name for one!

        It’s a Burns lovesong – I’d be Schwarzy’s Nancy any day! And I think he’d perform it wonderfully. (No!)

        I bet he didn’t stick his tongue out at me either, Mr Rudesby!

        Slugs…

        I await with eager anticipation… ;)

        (Not all of the time.)

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:34

        Not at all. I merely said that Mr. R’s statement was in error. A mix is better.

        :lol: It is… But I shan’t say anymore on the subject!

        Nancy? (Please?!)

        I’m not. The professor is making that lovely sound. Sticking out of the tongue is for ladies.

        :lol: Really?

        I’m working on one…

        (Not at all.)

      • 111 FictionFan February 6, 2014 at 00:09

        Huh! That’s not what you meant and you know it! You just stole that excuse from one of your kinder commenters…

        Nancy was who Rab wrote the song for. (No!!!)

        Then that’s even worse! I bet you never do that to Susan – you wouldn’t dare!!

        :lol: I find it amusing that you seem to quite like that idea…

        Hurry up, then….I can’t not be wicked for long.

        (Uh-huh.)

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 01:42

        Oh no. You completely misunderstood the professor. :lol: Dear me! I would have never said such a thing. I was wondering why the PF was getting cranky. In truth, this is true. I feel like a silly at times.

        I’m really not sureth. (Professorish please?)

        I do! But are you telling the truth? I must find me some of those!

        Maybe you’re gargonic!

      • 113 FictionFan February 6, 2014 at 15:38

        Well…I might forgive you this time, but only because I believe you must have been under alien mind-control at the time…

        About what? (NO!! Look, you have the easy task here – FEF’s considerably easier to rhyme with than Chicky-Woot-Woot!)

        Do Americans really not have geraniums? Bet you do – bet you just call them something quaint…

        I think you might be right! That would explain so much.

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 17:45

        I’ll accept that.

        The whole Nancy thing. My mind went a step loopier. (It is not! The professor can’t rhyme.)

        They might. But the professor isn’t very knowledgeable in weeds and flowers.

        :lol: It sure would!

      • 115 FictionFan February 6, 2014 at 18:20

        Nancy really existed – one of many, many women Rab wrote lovely poetry for. (Huff-hum, sir! I give up! It’s not very romantic when you have to force someone to send you a Valentine! I might not send you one either now. :mad: (I wonder what rhymes with Mic?) )

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 20:20

        What a rotten spirited sort of guy, then.

        I’m still not sure what rhymes have to do with it, but you’re welcome to send chocolate covered cherries and cashews. :)

        (Pike. Like. Bike. Reich. Hike. Professor.)

      • 117 FictionFan February 6, 2014 at 23:02

        How dare you?! He also wrote poems about fighting wars and stuff. Rab was irresistible to women – just like Schwarzy.

        Time to teach you another little Glaswegian phrase, I think – ‘On yer bike, pal!’ – which translates roughly as ‘I’m terribly sorry but I don’t feel you deserve to be lavished with chocolate, my good man.’

        :lol: :lol: See? You are a poet! And what a poem that would be…

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:28

        Rab…what a dadblame-awful name. What do we know about him? Nothing, besides he has thousands of lady friends, and writes about stuff. I don’t know…

        Phooey! The professor hasn’t rode a bike in ages.

        Not at all. I’m rather horrid at it. Perhaps I should write raw, Punchy poetry.

      • 119 FictionFan February 7, 2014 at 15:17

        “he has thousands of lady friends, and writes about stuff” – now why does that remind me of the Professor? Perhaps, being timeless, you actually were Rabbie at one point…

        You should – if you mastered throwing knives while riding a bike, you’d do great in a circus…

        Oh yes! Punchy poetry! What a fantabulistical idea! I’m waiting…

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 16:05

        What a horrid name. And this professor chronicles Punchy stuff, not stuff. And…and…I don’t know what to say about the first part!!

        Does the professor belong in a circus?

        I’ll see if I can get Shnoddy to do it.

      • 121 FictionFan February 7, 2014 at 18:40

        It’s a guid Scots name! The Professor can’t deny that he does seem to appeal greatly to the ‘ladies’ section of the blogging community…I put it down to his cuteness and adorableness myself, though it might just be that we’re all hoping the Professor will introduce us to Schwarzy.

        :lol: You see, you complain about me being mean to you, and then you ask me a question like that! Too tempting…

        That befuddled old fool? His poetry would be sooo depressing – assuming we could understand it at all. No, this is a job for the Professor!

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 21:11

        It’s a buid Scotty name! Maybe there’s just more ladies blogging then men? (And you don’t know if the professor is cute or adorable. I’m like an orc.)

        You said it, not me! Imagine trying to stick that one me. The professor insulting the professor. Huff-Hum, madam!

        Well, maybe…but you’d laugh at me.

      • 123 FictionFan February 7, 2014 at 23:21

        No, there’s something about the Professor…face it, you’re a babe-magnet! Middle-aged babes mainly, admittedly, but still… (Gnomes think orcs are cute and adorable.)

        You’d make a great clown! I have a glass clown and he wears a top hat…

        Not any more than usual… ;)

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke February 8, 2014 at 14:58

        :oops: What a thing to say! *clears throat and doesn’t recover* (I don’t even know what a gnome looks like.)

        There. That’s your picture of the professor, then.

        :D

      • 125 FictionFan February 8, 2014 at 17:21

        :lol: Aw, I made the Professor blush! He’s so modest! Sweet! (Most gnomes are ugly, funny-looking little things – most, but not ALL!)

        But he’s not wearing cargo pants…

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2014 at 19:37

        Huff-Hum to you, madam! ( :lol: That sounds nice. )

        And no sword, I trust…

      • 127 FictionFan February 9, 2014 at 23:40

        It’s still true though… ;)

        No, but he does have a guitar.

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2014 at 17:04

        It is not!

        I do not!

      • 129 FictionFan February 10, 2014 at 17:49

        How would you know? That’s for us females to decide…

        a) I was talking about my clown. But b) I bet you do…in fact, I’d be willing to bet the Professor also has a ukelele…

        :lol: Who’s The Shadow?

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2014 at 20:00

        Well, I suppose I should let you decide….then….maybe….

        :lol: Fine then! I’ll be honest: You’re right. :) See? The professor is always honest.

        Haha, just read over that conversation. Susan’s so funny. I’m not really sure. I think it’s an old radio program. You should give it a listen.

      • 131 FictionFan February 10, 2014 at 21:30

        Quite right! You should always let the women make the decisions…

        :shock: The Professor admitted FF was right! Quick! I need some sotsiz tea urgently…

        She is! But she’s so wrong about FF having all this knowledge – the Professor remains a complete enigma…

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2014 at 23:11

        Except for the important ones…

        FEF is always right…usually right.

        Which is the real professor, you see.

      • 133 FictionFan February 11, 2014 at 14:17

        Especially the important ones…like what cake to choose etc…

        You were right the first time.

        I do see – there are some things in the universe that simply defy understanding…

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2014 at 19:36

        Cherry cake. :)

        The professor is usually wrong.

        :D Defy understanding…I like that lots!

      • 135 FictionFan February 11, 2014 at 21:37

        Tchah! Chocolate cake.

        Except when he’s righter.

        :D

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke February 11, 2014 at 23:59

        Every time you make that noise, the professor will be forced to call you Po, Po.

        Which is always.

      • 137 FictionFan February 12, 2014 at 02:12

        :lol: Who is Po Po? I’m pretty sure I prefer FEF…

        Sometimes.

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2014 at 16:24

        It’s what the professor would be if he was a panda. I’m sure Susan will tell you more if you’re still curious, but I, madam, shall now be mute on the matter.

      • 139 FictionFan February 12, 2014 at 17:22

        I like the idea of a pandaish Professor – cute, adorable and cuddly!

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke February 12, 2014 at 21:16

        They have claws too, dadblameit!

      • 141 FictionFan February 12, 2014 at 22:55

        :lol: Sweet!

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2014 at 01:58

        What a vexing turn of events.

  20. 143 ladycheetah7 February 3, 2014 at 15:02

    #1 Well in my opinion some acts are not so divine. #2 I agree with but #3 is the champion. The world would be a much better place if fools wouldn’t think or act.
    So….are you going to show case your knife throwing skills?

    • 144 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:41

      How should I do that?

      • 145 ladycheetah7 February 3, 2014 at 18:52

        Have someone film you while you throw the knives.

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 19:00

        You’d want to see that?

      • 147 ladycheetah7 February 3, 2014 at 19:11

        Yes and I have a picture I would give you to see if you could hit it at the first knife throw. Bwwwhhhaaahhhaaa.

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 23:58

        A picture? Of what? Of whom?

      • 149 ladycheetah7 February 4, 2014 at 00:02

        The person I despise.

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:13

        Really? What’s he/she look like?

      • 151 ladycheetah7 February 4, 2014 at 01:02

        He looks like a gooberfish

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:07

        :lol:

  21. 153 floridaborne February 3, 2014 at 15:01

    Unfortunately, for number 3 to hold water, you need to remove humans from the (gene) pool. :-)

    • 154 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:41

      :lol: I know! What a trip. What can be done, do you think?

      • 155 floridaborne February 3, 2014 at 23:30

        I would like to see a mass consciousness of critical thinking. That’s a good start.

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:12

        I’d fail.

      • 157 floridaborne February 4, 2014 at 03:28

        I mirror that sentiment. :-)

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:17

        You’re a very wise young lady.

  22. 159 PorterGirl February 3, 2014 at 14:53

    Will the knives be aimed at anyone in particular? Or an inanimate object? I imagine throwing knives to be quite invigorating!

    I like to proverbs. They did make me think :) I think, therefore, I’m spam :)

    Valentines Day can be terrifying, to be sure. Not that The Professor will be daunted – due to his unromantic nature!

    I do hope the Queen of Austria was in good health. The Professor is quite the adventurer.

    • 160 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:39

      Oh, it’s great. Just at a board. The professor isn’t too wicked, you know.

      :lol: Spam? :lol:

      Yes, the day doesn’t make much a difference to me, you know.

      She was! I love going on adventures, you know.

      • 161 PorterGirl February 3, 2014 at 19:08

        Adventures are super.

        Have you not heard of spam? Very popular over the pond. Ghastly stuff, but still..

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 23:55

        Absolutely!

        Email spam?

      • 163 PorterGirl February 4, 2014 at 11:40

        It’s a type of meat of some description. It is pink and comes in tins. I think it was most popular during the war. In Northern England, they eat spam, egg and chips! (fries)

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:20

        I take it you don’t like it?

      • 165 PorterGirl February 5, 2014 at 14:30

        I’m not a fan, no. It is like a poor man’s corned beef. Which I actually don’t mind too much, with a little bit of pickle

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:53

        Pickles are awesome. They make everything better. Even spaghetti.

  23. 167 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 14:46

    I think that all three of the proverbs have great merit. That’s a first for me.

    Who or what is the lucky person who gets to catch the knives?

    DS isn’t the only one who finds Valentine’s Day daunting. Is he thinking of a massacre?

    Ahhh…the logic of Mr. Magi. Ummm…that’s all I can say about that.

    I’m going to ask Freedwoppen to report on traditions on Valentine’s Day in the PL.

    • 168 Bethy February 3, 2014 at 15:05

      oo yes! I would like to know some PL Valentine traditions also! :D

      • 169 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 15:11

        That’s two of us.

      • 170 Bethy February 3, 2014 at 15:15

        Hopefully, the professor won’t forget.

      • 171 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 15:20

        You could always try: Professor? Professor? Are you going to get Freed to tell us? over and over and over…

      • 172 Bethy February 3, 2014 at 15:28

        hehe. I wonder if that would work…he’ll think I have been hanging out with Frankie which is so not the case!

      • 173 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 15:29

        Ah, well, the professor needs the occasional shaking up.

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:48

        I do? I do not!

      • 175 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 19:15

        FF knows all.

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:01

        How come?

      • 177 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 19:43

        I really think you should ask FF how come she knows all. Now, then, I’m not saying she is a show off, just that she knows. Like the Shadow. In fact, The Shadow might be a relative of DS. http://youtu.be/pJyWcUS9RIM

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:38

        Is FF the Shadow? :shock:

      • 179 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 23:34

        I’ve never heard her talk….

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 01:03

        Have I?

      • 181 Susan P February 5, 2014 at 13:28

        If you don’t know if you’ve heard her talk, it’s a sad situation.

      • 182 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:47

        What should I do?

      • 183 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 02:33

        What do you think you should do?

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 14:01

        Hear her speak!

      • 185 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 21:37

        Indeed!

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:20

        Well, I can’t! :cry:

      • 187 Susan P February 7, 2014 at 01:35

        Well, then you’ll have to grin and bear it.

      • 188 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:49

        I’ll frown and bear it.

      • 189 Susan P February 7, 2014 at 18:48

        Then I’ll talk to Smiley instead.

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 21:15

        Smiles doesn’t smile.

      • 191 Susan P February 8, 2014 at 01:31

        Bummer. :D

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke February 8, 2014 at 15:01

        :)

    • 193 FictionFan February 3, 2014 at 15:11

      That’s probably the day that the men traditionally throw their wives in bathtubs…

      • 194 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 15:18

        And what would be in the tub?

      • 195 FictionFan February 3, 2014 at 15:21

        Melted chocolate? Tadpoles? Acid? :shock:

      • 196 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 15:22

        A mixture of all three, perhaps. That would so be Punchy.

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:47

        I think that was an isolated experience…

      • 198 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 19:15

        Umm–I don’t think that is what you mean.

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 00:01

        Well, what do you mean?

      • 200 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 19:40

        I thought you were talking about isotopes.

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:38

        I hated studying those dadblame things…

      • 202 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 23:34

        I’m definitely more on the history/literature end myself.

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 00:59

        Have you read about Hector?

      • 204 Susan P February 5, 2014 at 13:27

        Yes. More than once.

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:47

        Fabulous sort of chap.

    • 206 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 18:33

      A record. Shnodgrate is really pleased, I’ll warrant.

      A big, wooden board.

      :lol: I hope not. You know, the professor doesn’t do anything for the day. I really don’t understand it.

      He was just trying to keep the peace.

      Okay! I’ll send the question along.

      • 207 Susan P February 3, 2014 at 19:07

        It’s a Hallmark “holiday.” I will give Harry a kiss and maybe some brownies.

      • 208 Professor VJ Duke February 3, 2014 at 23:54

        Tell him the professor sends his kisses too. (I’ve tried this as a greeting on different occasions. It’s amazing the different reactions it gets. :D )

      • 209 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 19:33

        I can just imagine that there were various reactions.

      • 210 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:33

        Should I put a halt to the practice?

      • 211 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 23:28

        Have mercy, Professor. I’m in the habit of enjoying people and have no desire to meddle or tinker with their various idiosyncrasies. Practice on if that suits you.

      • 212 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 00:53

        I think I should stop.

      • 213 Susan P February 5, 2014 at 13:16

        I curtsy to your wisdom. :D

      • 214 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:40

        Ooo! But I shouldn’t. (See? There’s no wisdom.)

      • 215 Susan P February 5, 2014 at 19:45

        The Professor is being silly.

      • 216 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 20:01

        I should get more serious, then.

      • 217 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 02:36

        Hum. hoom. HAHAHAHA

      • 218 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 14:03

        I don’t think you believe me. But I do think I’ll start using that great professorish saying more often.

      • 219 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 21:42

        I am not relieved. Why would you?

      • 220 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:22

        I think it will be appreciated eventually.

      • 221 Susan P February 7, 2014 at 01:38

        You are appreciated.

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:51

        And the professor greatly appreciates you.

      • 223 Susan P February 7, 2014 at 18:53

        :)


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Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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