The Professor Thinks…About Dancing

“Look here,” the professor said. “Do you find dancing to be wicked or sweet?”

I fear the question confused Smiles Riot a bit, but it certainly didn’t throw Mr. Ratherquite off track.

“Sir,” he said, “how can dancing be wicked or sweet?”

“This is how I figure it,” I answered. “If wicked is basically sweet—in the professorish tongue, you understand—then dancing must be wicked.”

“That makes sense to me,” Smiles Riot agreed.

“The professorish tongue?” Mr. Ratherquite was quite confused now. “Sir! You’re not making any sense, and hear this: Sweet and wicked are antonyms!”

Smiles Riot looked straight at Mr. Ratherquite. “Did you ever cry for me?”

Mr. Ratherquite’s eyes bulged. “Cry? Whatever for, sir?”

“Did you cry,” I said, “the time he almost died dancing? There’s proof that dancing is wicked: It almost killed Mr. Riot.”

“Yes, it did,” Smiles agreed.

“How did you almost die?” Mr. Ratherquite asked. “This is the most aggravating conversation I’ve had in my entire life. And I fear I’m going to go loopy from having it!”

“He tripped over his partner’s unnaturally long feet,” I said. “Very dangerous sport—if you ask me.”

“Sir!” Mr. Ratherquite almost yelled. “It is not a sport! It’s an…an…”

“An what?” Smiles asked. “Sometimes I imagine the that an anvil is an ax.”

“Sirs! I’m leaving.”

And Mr. Ratherquite left.

The professor looked at smiles. “Did we catch it on tape?”

Smiles nodded and yawned.

“I just know I’m going to win The Confusing a Person Award once I turn this tape into the competition!” I said.

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142 Responses to “The Professor Thinks…About Dancing”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 August 12, 2014 at 18:38

    This is hilarious! X-D And why was Smiles Riot helping you?!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke August 12, 2014 at 20:08

      Thanks! Well…did you know that he’s the professor’s cousin?

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 August 12, 2014 at 23:28

        I heard about that, but don’t you detest each other?! Oh, wait. He was only in it for the waffles, wasn’t he? :-P

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke August 13, 2014 at 13:06

        Aha! Now that you say it, probably. I don’t really hate him, but…he’s creepy, you know.

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 August 13, 2014 at 19:33

        That’s true…

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke August 13, 2014 at 19:51

        Some feel bad for him.

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 August 13, 2014 at 19:57

        He’s nutty. People are going to feel bad for him. :-P

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2014 at 13:09

        I’m sure Obi-Wan wouldn’t.

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 August 14, 2014 at 15:45

        Maybe Obi-Wan would feel bad about him, but probably not.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke August 14, 2014 at 21:24

        Oh, he might, I think.

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 August 15, 2014 at 11:53

        He might, but I think he’d probably be more philosophical about it, just because he’s so logical and all.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke August 16, 2014 at 18:39

        Yes, you’re right.

  2. 13 Brenda February 6, 2014 at 14:34

    Dancing is art.

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 17:36

      Ballet?

      • 15 Brenda February 6, 2014 at 18:34

        All dancing. It rises about sport into art. My opinion. :-)

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 20:22

        Even professorish dancing?

      • 17 Brenda February 6, 2014 at 20:46

        Absolutely. Art even embraces the Professor. :-)

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:09

        You wouldn’t say that if I tried to dance.

      • 19 Brenda February 7, 2014 at 01:54

        LOL Sometimes Rembrandt only used a few strokes of a pencil on his sketches. And yet it was art.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 15:54

        But if Rembrandt danced, perhaps it wouldn’t be considered art? Wasn’t he fluffy?

      • 21 Brenda February 7, 2014 at 16:03

        I guess I should have said Degas, he’s the one that painted dancers… ;-)

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 16:10

        But could he dance?

      • 23 Brenda February 7, 2014 at 16:25

        Everyone can dance. Not everyone likes how they dance.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 21:00

        Maybe I believe that.

      • 25 Brenda February 7, 2014 at 21:52

        Finally. LOL

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke February 8, 2014 at 14:42

        You do a good job of convincing. :)

  3. 27 naomimgruer February 5, 2014 at 21:25

    Silliness personified!

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 01:40

      Punchyness, too?

  4. 29 Hazy February 5, 2014 at 13:49

    A professorly riotous tag team you had there. Poor Mr. R never knew what hit him. Though it’s kinda fun seeing Mr. R getting confused… :D

    I think dancing is sweet and wicked. Sweet if you’re doing it willingly (and no one cares how terrible or good you can dance), wicked if you are forced to (and everyone gushes how good or terrible you are).

    What is the prize in the competition?

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:51

      It is! He’s splendid when confused.

      I think the professor would be bad at it. I’ve never tried though. Do you like to dance?

      A gold trophy, I think. :D

      • 31 Hazy February 13, 2014 at 05:39

        I do like to dance. Wait, I don’t. I can’t really make up my mind about it. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. :lol: Parties with dancing can be fun. But I don’t go to dance clubs or discos or anything like that.

        A real gold trophy?

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke February 13, 2014 at 14:48

        Me either. I’ve never danced, so I’m not sure.

        Yes. Isn’t it marvelous? :D

      • 33 Hazy February 23, 2014 at 04:45

        Nice! :D Anyone else vying for the gold?

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:48

        Oh, probably. Which is a dadblamery.

      • 35 Hazy February 25, 2014 at 12:53

        Well, show them who’s best! I bet you can do it. :D

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 17:58

        Aw, thanks, Hazy… :)

  5. 37 Jackie February 5, 2014 at 11:50

    You and Smiles are both quite mischievous! Silly Mr. Ratherquiet never saw it coming. Blindsided by a couple of pranksters! How punchalicious! :twisted:

    • 38 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:38

      :D The professor is a prankster now that you mention it. Shouldn’t I play a prank on the PF?

  6. 39 Angeline M February 5, 2014 at 03:21

    You should win the contest hands down!

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:37

      Thank you! I do hope so.

  7. 41 The Dancing Rider February 4, 2014 at 23:18

    Odd, professor. Very odd. It was scary that … of course … I understood what the professor meant by wicked being sweet.

    Must admit, I got a good laugh out of poor Mr. R being so, so confounded.

    Now. For the contest. The contest about what exactly?!

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 00:52

      :D It does make a bit of sense, but I was really trying to throw Mr. R off track…

      Very fun to annoy him, you know. :D

      Well, it was about seeing who could confuse someone else the quickest. (Like a funny home video, or something like that.)

  8. 43 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 19:58

    It’s more likely that he tripped over his own long feet. :)

    • 44 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:41

      :lol: That’s mean to Mr. Smiles…

      • 45 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 23:35

        Not really. I have short feet and trip all of the time.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 01:04

        How about the professor?

      • 47 Susan P February 5, 2014 at 13:30

        Well, if the Professor is Mr. Riot’s doppelganger, I suppose his feet are also long and therefore in mortal danger.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:48

        Oh no. The professor doesn’t look at all like Mr. Riot. We’re quite different.

      • 49 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 02:34

        Oh no, we’re not going down that road again.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 14:02

        You think we’re the same? :shock:

      • 51 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 21:40

        Sir, I make no representation as to any likeness or unlikeness regarding the Professor and Mr. Riot.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:20

        :D I’m very happy to hear that. We’re cousins, but we’re not the same. :D

      • 53 Susan P February 7, 2014 at 01:35

        Snicker…. :D

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:50

        Hmm…what does that mean?

      • 55 Susan P February 7, 2014 at 18:51

        Most of the time I wonder – except when I wander. Sometimes I do both together.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 21:16

        :lol: Do you like that song?

      • 57 Susan P February 8, 2014 at 01:32

        I love it. My sister-in-law’s husband is a mellow tenor and he sang it one December. Oh my.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke February 8, 2014 at 15:01

        Ooo…I do too. I’m sure it was beautiful. I can only imagine.

      • 59 Susan P February 8, 2014 at 15:15

        :D

      • 60 Susan P February 5, 2014 at 13:30

        So, did you come to any conclusion about whether or not dancing is wicked ?

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:49

        I think, for the professor, it probably is.

      • 62 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 02:35

        Because of the stepping upon feet, or …

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 14:03

        Or?

      • 64 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 21:41

        Or other reasons.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:21

        Dancing with a katana tied to your back.

      • 66 Susan P February 7, 2014 at 01:36

        Someone could definitely get hurt. Yep.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 01:50

        I told you dancing was dangerously wicked!

      • 68 Susan P February 7, 2014 at 18:52

        I would say the katana is dangerously wicked.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke February 7, 2014 at 21:16

        And a sweet tool. It’s got an oiled blade. :)

      • 70 Susan P February 8, 2014 at 01:32

        So does my can opener.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke February 8, 2014 at 15:02

        But…but…a sword is way cooler!

      • 72 Susan P February 8, 2014 at 15:15

        But not as tasty.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke February 9, 2014 at 19:30

        I think so!

      • 74 Susan P February 9, 2014 at 20:00

        You eat swords?

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke February 10, 2014 at 17:00

        Any day over a can opener!

      • 76 Susan P February 10, 2014 at 17:20

        :)

  9. 77 bardictale February 4, 2014 at 17:51

    Good luck at the contest, though I do believe the professor can do much better than that~^

    • 78 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:32

      How do you mean?

      • 79 bardictale February 5, 2014 at 04:50

        I mean that the professor can be even more confusing, without the help of his cousin.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:38

        :lol: You’re right, sadly.

      • 81 bardictale February 5, 2014 at 19:57

        Sometimes it’s good to be confusing.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 20:02

        I think you’re right.

      • 83 bardictale February 5, 2014 at 21:48

        I usually am, sir;-)

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 01:41

        The professor is learning this! :)

  10. 85 L. Marie February 4, 2014 at 17:37

    Where were the ladies when Smiles and you argued with Mr. Ratherquite??? Did they just stand there gaping?

    • 86 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 19:58

      Now that is a question I would like to know the answer to.

    • 87 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:32

      They actually weren’t there, or it would have been rather bad for the professor and Smiles!

      • 88 ladycheetah7 February 4, 2014 at 22:37

        They wouldn’t have done anything orher than giggle and look atrocious.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 00:49

        :lol: They might have tried to slap the professor, I think.

  11. 90 Debbie February 4, 2014 at 15:48

    Not nice for you two to be ganging up on poor Mr. Ratherquite. I do suspect a trophy is in somebody’s future, though!

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:32

      :D Mr. R needs ruffled, doesn’t he?

  12. 92 walt walker February 4, 2014 at 15:43

    A hard lesson, but well learned. One should always exercise caution around unnaturally long feet. They simply can’t be trusted. Neither can the people they’re attached to.

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:32

      I like the part about the people they’re attached too. What’s that mean for the shorter ones?

      • 94 walt walker February 5, 2014 at 00:56

        Shorter people or shorter feet? Those are very different questions, as I’m sure you know. I trust you are not trying to trap me. Should I trust you? Now I am confused. How long are your feet?

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 01:08

        The professor would like the answer to both, please.

        Definitely trust the professor! I’m sweet and wicked.

        Not as long as my hands.

  13. 96 ladycheetah7 February 4, 2014 at 15:34

    That was weird.

    • 97 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 19:55

      Wasn’t it just? Gotta wonder what the Professor had in his oatmeal today.

      • 98 ladycheetah7 February 4, 2014 at 19:56

        I. Don’t. Know.

      • 99 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 19:57

        I’m not sure I really want to know.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:41

        Would you like to guess?

      • 101 ladycheetah7 February 5, 2014 at 00:51

        Totally baffled. I will pass this round.

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 01:07

        Cherries.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:40

        Oh dear. I almost choked on oatmeal not too long ago. Almost perished. Slowly, I almost sank into the sea.

      • 104 Susan P February 4, 2014 at 23:35

        You need a goober fish when that happens.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 01:03

        I love that!

      • 106 Susan P February 5, 2014 at 13:29

        The goober fish?

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:48

        Yes. It’s such a hilarious name.

      • 108 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 02:34

        That’s my Bethy. I’m quite fond of her, you know?

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 14:01

        I do! And so is the professor. :)

      • 110 Susan P February 6, 2014 at 21:38

        :D

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:31

      Punchyish?

  14. 112 FictionFan February 4, 2014 at 14:56

    But what a glorious way to die! Especially if your partner is both wicked and sweet…(sigh!)

    How very mean you were to poor Mr R ! I think Smiles is a bad influence on you…or perhaps you are on him. Either way I’m pretty sure you’ll win the Shnoddy Award for Befuddlement.

    A truly gargonic story, C-W-W! Yuppy!

    • 113 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:31

      :lol: For a women maybe! But Ladies die like Antoinette.

      Isn’t it okay to be a bit wicked at times?

      :lol: There is a story behind that lovely word.

      • 114 FictionFan February 5, 2014 at 02:26

        Is the Professor implying that FF isn’t a Lady?? Or is he threatening to decapitate me??

        Oh, alright then. Just a bit though…

        Do tell!

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 19:36

        Oh dear. I fear it didn’t come across too well. Perhaps you should forget about it?

        :D

        It’s a strange noise I hear while I’m in my office.

      • 116 FictionFan February 6, 2014 at 00:12

        About what?

        Outside your head…or only inside?

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke February 6, 2014 at 01:43

        About the guillotine.

        Definitely outside!

  15. 118 K. A. Brace February 4, 2014 at 14:35

    Perhaps a Cabinet post would suit you Sir. Smiles>>KB

    • 119 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:22

      Now, why is that?

      • 120 K. A. Brace February 4, 2014 at 21:35

        Confound the masses, soothe the enemy and frighten little children asleep. >KB

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:43

        Does that sound like the professor? :)

      • 122 K. A. Brace February 4, 2014 at 21:50

        We-e-e-elllll mmmmaybeee I’m confused now! >KB

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 22:28

        No, no, you could be right, for sure.

      • 124 K. A. Brace February 4, 2014 at 23:10

        Smiles. >KB

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 00:51

        Two nods, a wink, and a comet.

      • 126 K. A. Brace February 5, 2014 at 01:03

        Sold! >KB

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 01:08

        :cool:

  16. 128 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 4, 2014 at 14:21

    Now… watch me closely *two of my fingers are currently pointing at my eyes. I slowly turn them and point them into Mr. Ratherquite’s eyes. I turn them back to my eyes, then I flick them back to his and so on…*

    Porfessor, you and Smiles should be ashamed of yourselves. :lol:

    Poor Mr. R, I’ve been where he is, but I’ve got it now. ;) Oh, and dancing is just so-so for me. It is nice to be swept off the feet a few times a year.

    • 129 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:22

      :lol: I’m sorry–a bit, bits, and little bits. I couldn’t help it! Wouldn’t you have picked on him–just a bit?

      And fall?

      • 130 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 4, 2014 at 22:05

        I enjoyed that little laugh. You know I would have if you’ve come to know me at all, Duke.

        Yes, falling, too. That’s why dancing is reserved for those who like that sort of thing. Romantics have no choice, Sir. Imagine no dancing…phewy.

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 22:31

        I thought so! And especially if it was the professor. :lol:

        I’m sure there is a romantic who doesn’t dance…

      • 132 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 4, 2014 at 22:38

        Yes, but he allows me to. I wouldn’t if he preferred I take him seriously all the time.

        Oh there are! Those romantics have bigger problems. The problem of people just wanting to stare into their eyes. :) Now that is worse than dancing!

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke February 5, 2014 at 00:49

        You’ve got a point there, Audith… :)

      • 134 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 5, 2014 at 02:01

        ;)

  17. 135 Tonia February 4, 2014 at 14:08

    i have to agree…wicked and sweet activities CAN kill us. :)

    • 136 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:21

      Even the sweet ones?

      • 137 Tonia February 4, 2014 at 21:56

        YES!

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 22:29

        :D How so?

  18. 139 PorterGirl February 4, 2014 at 14:00

    Haha – Mr Ratherquite is fabulous when confused. You and Smiles are delightfully naughty, teasing him like that.

    Personally, I think dancing can be a sport, an art or a dangerous past time – the choice is yours!

    I should be interested to learn more about The Professorish tongue, as well.

    Marvelous story, Professor, as ever ;)

    • 140 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:21

      :D Thanks, Lucy. I had to do it. Mr. R does become fabulous.

      Well, the professor, you know, hath never danced, so I just believe it’s evil.

      It’s really anything I think about at the time. :)

      Many thanks! I appreciate it. :D

  19. 141 Anja February 4, 2014 at 13:56

    Poor Mr. Ratherquite…you two ganging up on him like that. I thought Smiles was caught once more. We already had our dancing discussion.

    • 142 Professor VJ Duke February 4, 2014 at 21:20

      But Smiles agrees with me. I couldn’t resist teasing the bloke just a bit. Was the professor mean?


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