Tales of the Punchies—Punchy Murdoch Speaks

The Punchies define the Punchy Lands. They live deep within a cave in a very hot desert. When they hold their Punchy meetings, they sit at a long oak table, situated nicely in the middle of a sandy floor.

***

“So…where’s, Kirk?” Arnold asked.

“Yes,” Humphrey followed up, “isn’t Kirk supposed to be at every meeting?”

Sylvester—never one for many words—just nodded.

Mitchum laughed. “‘Course he is. Kirk told me that Punchy Murdoch will be leading this meeting today.”

“I’m nervous,” Arnold said in his gruff voice. [He has one, you know.]

“You don’t sound it,” Humphrey noticed.

“My question is this…” Sylvester looked directly at Mitchum. “Is Kirk going to be here, too?”

“Of course not!” Mitchum exclaimed. Then quieter, “Love to see how he’d pull that off!”

Suddenly, Punchy Murdoch appeared out of one of the numerous passageways inside the Punchy Cave.

He sat in Kirk’s place—at the head of the oak table.

Punchy Murdoch looked like Kirk—except he had a white beard that dragged on the ground.

He smiled. “Kirk, can’t be with us today—”

“As is the case every time you can,” Mitchum put in quickly.

Punchy Murdoch said, with five of his eyebrows raised [a Punchy saying], “If I was Kirk, my beard wouldn’t be this white.”

Mitchum was silent. He nodded in defeat.

“Hey, you got a point there, Kirk,” Arnold said.

“Thank you, Mr. Arnak,” Punchy Murdoch returned. “Now, down to business.”

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113 Responses to “Tales of the Punchies—Punchy Murdoch Speaks”


  1. 1 xoxosanaz90210 February 23, 2014 at 19:40

    Hmmm, still not too sure if he is real. He could be Kirk with a fake beard on…

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:53

      You’ve got something there, I think.

  2. 3 floridaborne February 22, 2014 at 17:38

    5 eyebrows? I wouldn’t want to be his optometrist.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:45

      :lol: I know, right?

  3. 5 L. Marie February 21, 2014 at 16:12

    If they’re so easily fooled, no wonder the Punchies need a leader.

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 20:45

      True. It’s a wonder Kirk fits the bill, though.

  4. 7 Jackie February 21, 2014 at 13:16

    Silly Kirk thinking he can fool everyone! What punchalicious dadblamery that is! :twisted:

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 15:19

      It is! Even the professor has more sense than all five of the Punchies put together!

      • 9 Jackie February 21, 2014 at 15:34

        Indeed!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 15:36

        :D

  5. 11 The Reading Girl February 20, 2014 at 23:57

    this was hilarious! :) I have been enjoying your posts very much

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 15:14

      Thanks so much! Great to see you commenting. I’m very honored about that. :D Do you like the Punchies or do you think they’re just weird?

      • 13 The Reading Girl February 22, 2014 at 17:31

        To be honest both. But you see I like weird and I like the PUnchies :D. get it?

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:45

        I do! So you’re Punchyish, right? :D

  6. 15 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 20, 2014 at 20:30

    If Punchy Murdoch can raise only five of his eyebrows, then I think he should sit by me. Now that line alone makes me laugh and it makes me envious of the writer who came up with it. I may never forget it. And I don’t even know exactly why.

    Oh! And I have scissors to cut that nasty beard into a more reasonable length. It seems he could also brush the cave floors with it. :lol:

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 23:07

      :lol: It’s really dadblame bad, isn’t it? I’m honored you like it.

      :lol: :lol: Wouldn’t he be insulted?

      • 17 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 21, 2014 at 04:03

        What is dadblame bad?

        I suppose he would be insulted, but shouldn’t someone offer to trim it? ;)

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 15:17

        The eyebrows thing…ri-do-diculous!

        :lol: Yes! You’re right. I’ll back you up on that. I love how you come up with these great ideas.

      • 19 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 21, 2014 at 21:03

        I love the eyebrow line. I loved it. Haha!

        :lol: I just call out what comes to mind.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2014 at 01:00

        :D Thanks, Audith! :D

        It’s so entertaining, and your thoughts make me think. Which is a wonder, since I usually don’t.

      • 21 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 22, 2014 at 04:15

        Thanks. ;) But you must think or you’d be walking in the same circle. I hope that’s a good thing.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:35

        I think it definitely is!

      • 23 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 24, 2014 at 16:44

        :D

  7. 24 FictionFan February 20, 2014 at 15:46

    Is Punchy Murdoch Santa? Or is that just a ri-do-diculous thought?

    • 25 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 18:06

      :lol: Not at all! I’m sure Kirk wouldn’t take to it at all. Why does he remind of you Santa? (You can’t say the beard.)

      • 26 FictionFan February 20, 2014 at 19:48

        I don’t know – having Santa for a dad might be fun…

        Hmm…can’t say the beard, eh? Then, I’m speechless… ;)

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 23:06

        He probably wouldn’t give us gifts. We’re way too wicked.

        I’m afraid it’s the only similarity. PM isn’t even good-natured.

      • 28 FictionFan February 21, 2014 at 01:47

        But we’re also cute and adorable, and that has to count for something.

        Is Santa? I vividly remember the year I wanted a rocking horse and got a doll’s house. Huh! Even my teddy was unimpressed!

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 15:16

        It sure does. (More so in your case.)

        Seriously! Everyone knows a doll’s house is way more super cooler than a rocking horse!

      • 30 FictionFan February 21, 2014 at 18:48

        (Aw!!!)

        Nonsense! Dolls’ houses are just a way to make women conform to societal norms – housework etc. Whereas rocking horses are partners in glorious adventures…riding off with your trusty steed to battle dragons and ogres…I spent years having to imagine my bike was a horse…

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 20:57

        :lol: Now don’t get bitter on me FEF. Societal norms for professor’s is in a dorm, you know. Look at me!

      • 32 FictionFan February 21, 2014 at 23:56

        :???: (Who knew I’d get the chance to use the face so soon?) I’m trying to envisage a dorm full of Professors and it’s making me feel quite faint! And while it’s always a pleasure to look at you (specially now you’re fluffy) I can’t believe my C-W-W wouldn’t have rather battled ogres than done housework!!

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2014 at 01:17

        What I meant was that professors are usually at a college. But not this professor! I’ve redefined the rules. Is that better?

      • 34 FictionFan February 23, 2014 at 19:14

        Clearer, yes – thank you! But better? No – on second thoughts I prefer it when you’re befuddling… :D

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:52

        Of course you do! The professor is a lovely enigma.

      • 36 FictionFan February 24, 2014 at 17:40

        Indeed he is! Not to mention c&a…and f.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:29

        Not sure what ‘f’ means, but…I meant a lovely enigma…not lovely… you understand, right?

      • 38 FictionFan February 25, 2014 at 14:39

        Both! Fluffy.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:14

        Woof!

  8. 40 Susan P February 20, 2014 at 14:51

    Why does Arnold sound so much like Manly-man? Ah, me, another dadblame mystery. Where will it end?

    • 41 Susan P February 20, 2014 at 15:01

      Also, when is the next tour bus coming through the PL?

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 18:04

        What kind of tour bus?

      • 43 Susan P February 20, 2014 at 18:59

        The kind that take people on a driving tour of places of interest.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 23:04

        That sounds cool! Where would you go? (Should I do something like that?)

      • 45 Susan P February 21, 2014 at 13:50

        I went to a lot of places when I was a tour bus facilitator and planner. You might enjoy it.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 15:31

        I would enjoy it! When are we leaving?

      • 47 Susan P February 21, 2014 at 18:03

        Where are we going?

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 20:55

        Throughout the PL?

      • 49 Susan P February 21, 2014 at 21:15

        Okay, but there will be a charge for the higher insurance needed when visiting the PL.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2014 at 01:11

        Can’t we skip insurance?

      • 51 Susan P February 22, 2014 at 17:01

        You want to travel in the PL without insurance? You might end up in jail. Wait. You already did…

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:43

        Don’t laugh me to scorn!

      • 53 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 14:51

        Never. I have your back.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:07

        Aw, thanks, Susan. :D

      • 55 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 19:06

        :D

    • 56 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 18:01

      Arnold is very close to MM. Did you know that?

      • 57 Susan P February 20, 2014 at 18:58

        How close?

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 23:04

        Some say Arnold is what makes Jazzy manly.

      • 59 Susan P February 21, 2014 at 13:49

        That needs some thought…

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 15:30

        Profiles should reveal most things. Ask this one for the rest. :D

      • 61 Susan P February 21, 2014 at 18:03

        Why?

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 20:54

        Why what?

      • 63 Susan P February 21, 2014 at 21:14

        “Profiles should reveal most things. Ask this one for the rest.”

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke February 22, 2014 at 01:11

        Oh, well I think it says something about that in Arnold’s profile… And if you have any more questions, I’m here. And you know, I always give the clearest answers.

      • 65 Susan P February 22, 2014 at 17:00

        What does that mean?

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:43

        Oh dear. You tell me, please.

      • 67 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 14:51

        How can I tell the meaning when it comes out of the professorish mind?

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:06

        I make sense. I’m very logical.

      • 69 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 19:06

        I wish I could. Alas.

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:36

        Well…maybe I can’t, then.

      • 71 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 21:37

        Are you sure?

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:40

        I don’t know, dadblameit!

      • 73 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 13:21

        Um..if you don’t know who does?

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:05

        I thought you might.

      • 75 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 23:22

        I know how to add and subtract, but I don’t know everything.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:37

        I used to be good at adding and subtracting.

      • 77 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 02:37

        I used to be good at distracting.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:12

        :lol: Funny you should say that. The professor was always told he was.

      • 79 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 19:13

        Maybe it was more like I was always distracted. Staring out of windows when I was supposed to be doing a workbook.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:12

        Yes, I can sympathize with that!

      • 81 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 02:33

        If only the teachers knew.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 17:44

        I would have told them.

      • 83 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 22:34

        What exactly would you have told them? Surely you are not a tattle tale?

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:26

        Oh no! I would have told them to be nicer to you, or, if they didn’t know about it, I would show them that I was dominate, you see. :)

      • 85 Susan P February 28, 2014 at 17:53

        I’ll have to think about this one and see if I can make sense out of it. If I can, out with it – who needs sense?

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2014 at 16:18

        The professor probably.

      • 87 Susan P March 1, 2014 at 21:42

        No, the Professor’s domain has more to do with nonsense than sense. :D

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2014 at 23:04

        I kind of like that lots.

      • 89 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:48

        :)

  9. 90 Bethy February 20, 2014 at 14:11

    That sounds like a typical meeting I’ve been too. Except for maybe one of the five eyebrows being raised!

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 14:44

      :lol: A bit odd isn’t it? Definitely Punchyish.

      • 92 Bethy February 20, 2014 at 15:00

        Oddly, it sounds normal. And Punchyish. :D

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 18:03

        Haha, it does sound normal for the Punchies.

      • 94 Bethy February 21, 2014 at 13:58

        Which just goes to show you that normal is a subjective term!

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke February 21, 2014 at 15:32

        It is!

      • 96 Bethy February 23, 2014 at 22:43

        I’m glad you agree :D

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:53

        I might disagree soon, though–for giggles.

      • 98 Bethy February 24, 2014 at 15:15

        I don’t think disagreement is necessary for giggles. :D

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:20

        You could be right… :)

      • 100 Bethy February 25, 2014 at 15:32

        does that mean I win another one? ;)

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:16

        Another one?!

      • 102 Bethy February 25, 2014 at 19:45

        yes. :)

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:25

        :D

  10. 104 PorterGirl February 20, 2014 at 13:53

    Haha! I love these meetings so much! Do they ever achieve anything?

    • 105 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 14:42

      I don’t think so, no. It’s rather a circle isn’t it?

      • 106 PorterGirl February 20, 2014 at 14:44

        Yes, it is. I hope they have refreshments!

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 14:45

        Not usually. Unless you’d like to try Cups of Blueberry Jam?

      • 108 PorterGirl February 20, 2014 at 14:49

        I think I would, actually. Shame they don’t have any sandwiches or muffins or things like that.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 18:00

        We could bring those, I think.

      • 110 PorterGirl February 20, 2014 at 18:03

        Oh, good. I’ll be in charge of refreshments, then

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 18:06

        Great. Make sure to bring muffins!

      • 112 PorterGirl February 20, 2014 at 18:08

        :D certainly!

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke February 20, 2014 at 21:57

        Sweet!


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Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
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14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
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