PL Times, E23

The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, February 24, 2014
Edition 23
—————————————————————————————————-

Section A. Punchy Proverbs:

All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate—the foremost poet in the PL—unless noted otherwise.

Subject: Practice and Perfection.

(1) Some say practice makes perfect, but I say practice kills a weary soul.

(2) To achieve perfection: practice as long as you can stand it—then practice some more.

(3) We believe in perfection, even though we can’t perceive it.

Favorites, Punchy Family?

***

Section B. The professor speaks:

I suddenly feel old and wobbly at the knees, though I’d like to run as fast as a tortoise.

***

Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:

A short conversation:

SMILES RIOT: Crackjaw Mental Asylum isn’t a nice place.

SCHWARZ TAUPTINKER: Why?

RIOT: Because it could cause one to cry out in the night.

SCHWARZ: Oh, is that it? I cry out in the night all the time—for cookies.

RIOT: Snow or sun, the game is almost done.

SCHWARZ: You’re so…so weird! Oh yeah, chickit do it!

***

Section D. Featured Story: Super-Computers in the PL
by J. Freedwoppen

Four super-computers exist in the Punchy Lands. They were invented by Silas Mankidd, who has gone missing. (Mr. Magi is still searching diligently for him.)

Each computer has the power to see anywhere in the PL at any time. And see the minutest of details. For instance, one could use a super-computer to view two PL’ers talking halfway around the Punchy Lands!

One is stationed on Fat Man Island. (Mr. Magi and Fats Henry are the only ones allowed in the room.)

One exists on a mountain in Greece.

One is said to be in the Punchy Cave.

And one is in the Zez’s power.

Not surprisingly, these super-computers could be quite dangerous in the wrong hands.

Mr. Magi is searching diligently for the exact location of the other three, but it is doubtful he’ll ever complete his mission.

***

Section E. Hearing from the PL Family:

PF member, Sonya, would like to start a petition to get Smiles Riot (the professor’s nephew) out of Crackjaw. If you’re supportive of this move, comment below saying so!

Also, Dancing Rider asks: Does the fact that both VJ Duke and V. Shnodgrate have a “V” at the beginning of their names mean anything important?

Answer: Well, interestingly enough, it probably does. Mr. Magi says that “V” is a very Punchyish letter—maybe even the Punchiest. The “V” in Shnodgrate’s name stands for Vernon. The professor, however, has never revealed what his “V” stands for—if it stands for anything at all.

PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.

The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)

The PL Times!

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392 Responses to “PL Times, E23”


  1. 1 MissTiffany February 28, 2014 at 22:28

    Sorry for my long absence, dear Professor. I do hope you’ll forgive me.

    I like proverb number 3.

    These super computers sound like the perfect target for a super villain. Are there any of those in the Punchy Lands?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2014 at 16:35

      No problem! (Though I did miss you. :D )

      Yes, it’s a goody.

      Super villains?

      • 3 MissTiffany March 4, 2014 at 21:13

        I missed you too.

        :)

        Oh yes. A super computer with the power to see anywhere in the Punchy Lands? There has to be a villain lurking somewhere in the PL who would want to use that to his (or her) advantage.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:20

        Definitely. You and I should go and steal it.

  2. 5 Veronica February 26, 2014 at 10:50

    Ah, perfection. Hard to gain, impossible almost, one would say, to hold onto. But #2 is close enough. I like them all, something resonates within me in each one.

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:18

      Great. Do you think you could help the professor reach perfection?

      • 7 Veronica February 26, 2014 at 20:31

        Maybe you could help me as well..?

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:16

        The professor is a hopeless case. I’m the opposite of perfect, you know.

      • 9 Veronica February 27, 2014 at 02:23

        Hopeless case? I don’t see you as such. The opposite of perfect could be fun though, really, what’s so good about being perfect??

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:30

        I’m not sure… Not making any horrid blunders? Do you have hope for the professor?

      • 11 Veronica February 27, 2014 at 02:47

        I have hope for everyone! You included.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 17:53

        Did you know the professor was a warrior?

      • 13 Veronica February 27, 2014 at 19:52

        I figured as such.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:08

        :D Doesn’t it make you proud?

      • 15 Veronica February 28, 2014 at 02:21

        Of course. And a fine warrior I’m sure are as well

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 16:16

        Many thanks.

  3. 17 bardictale February 25, 2014 at 16:32

    Nice proverbs today, the first rather unfortunate in its truth.
    See no reason for Smiles Riot to be imprisoned, as he hadn’t done anything wrong. Did you sign, professor?

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:18

      Thanks!

      Why do you ask? :lol:

      • 19 bardictale February 25, 2014 at 21:33

        Well, he is your nephew. It seems like you’re on good terms, so if you didn’t sign, then there’s a good reason or a story there.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:31

        Cousin. He’s my cousin. I said it wrong, Bard. I apologize.

        Well, you sign and tell me how it turns out. :D

      • 21 bardictale February 26, 2014 at 10:51

        Hmm. Then my memory isn’t faulty. Good to know^^
        Still didn’t answer my question, professor.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:19

        No, Bard’s memory is way better than mind!

        I know…but…well, what should I say?

      • 23 bardictale February 27, 2014 at 16:30

        The truth, I suppose.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 18:18

        Well, I say we keep him in there!

      • 25 bardictale February 27, 2014 at 18:34

        Why?

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:05

        Well, we’re not the best of friends, you know.

      • 27 bardictale February 28, 2014 at 07:41

        Is that a reason for him to remain in Crackjaw?

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 16:18

        Well…isn’t it?

      • 29 bardictale March 1, 2014 at 17:06

        No

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2014 at 22:51

        Oh dear, Bard, I fear I’m revealing too much.

      • 31 bardictale March 3, 2014 at 04:45

        But you have not revealed anything

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:23

        Well, you see, Mr. Riot and I aren’t the best of friends.

      • 33 bardictale March 4, 2014 at 04:55

        So he deserves to remain in Crackjaw?

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:34

        Yes! Don’t you think so?

      • 35 bardictale March 4, 2014 at 20:27

        No, I certainly do not.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:18

        What can I say now, Bard?

      • 37 bardictale March 5, 2014 at 17:32

        A story, a whole truth or a lie. It’s your choice, professor.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:19

        Well, Smiles got me in trouble a while back.

      • 39 bardictale March 6, 2014 at 04:33

        What did he do? Was it on purpose?

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:45

        Well, do you remember when I was in jail?

      • 41 bardictale March 6, 2014 at 17:53

        No…you were in jail?

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:12

        Yes, in the PL last year.

      • 43 bardictale March 6, 2014 at 19:13

        You’re saying that it was his fault?

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:14

        Overall…yes!

      • 45 bardictale March 6, 2014 at 19:14

        hmm…fair’s fair, that’s your reason then?

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:32

        Yes, is it a bad one?

      • 47 bardictale March 7, 2014 at 13:48

        If you believe in an eye for an eye, then it’s a good one. Do you believe in that?

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 14:05

        No, I believe in mercy. What should I do?

      • 49 bardictale March 7, 2014 at 14:20

        Ask him if he wants to stay in Crackjaw, and if not…well, if he isn’t harming anyone, there’s no reason to lock him away, is there?

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 20:56

        No, I suppose not. You speak wisely as always, Bard. I will do what you say.

  4. 51 Hazy February 25, 2014 at 13:34

    (1) and (2) seem to cancel out each other… Proverb (3) is the survivor. :lol:

    How fast does a tortoise run? Maybe you could ask Mr. R’s tortoise for tips! :D

    Is it snowy days in the PL too? I don’t think Riot is weird. He’s just very… unique. I kinda like him.

    Was no one watching the supercomputers when Riot took the box? (because everyone was at the party?)

    Riot out of Crackjaw. I support. :)

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:08

      Haha. But the professor has been told by the PF that they, in fact, make sense alongside each other. Just don’t ask me to explain…

      :lol: I’m not even sure!

      Well, he is the professor’s cousin. A nice chap. Why do you like him? Do you feel bad for him?

      That could be it, or they just weren’t watching the party.

      Awesome! I’ll put you down.

      • 53 Hazy March 2, 2014 at 13:06

        I think I like him because he seems interesting, and he doesn’t seem mean. I feel a little bad for him, Crackjaw sounds like it’s not a very good place, is it?

        Is Mr. Riot dangerous when the Spitz Mulligan self surfaces?

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2014 at 23:21

        Well…it’s very white and buzzy. Like a hospital. Not very nice at all. Some say it’s quite corrupted…

        Yes and no. He’s more confident and…funny.

      • 55 Hazy March 16, 2014 at 14:10

        I kinda like hospitals. It seems so… clean. Buzzy? The first thing I though was lots of bees and flies… :lol: Though I’m pretty sure that’s not what you meant (and that it’s just my hazy brain playing tricks on me)

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke March 16, 2014 at 19:21

        :lol: Now that you say that…me too! Your Hazy brain is very entertaining! :D

  5. 57 Lesley February 25, 2014 at 05:54

    “We believe in perfection, even though we can’t perceive it.” <– That's my favorite. It's nice that we all wired to believe in perfection, however impossible it is to attain it. Can these computers 'see' digital messages :-o

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 17:58

      It is, Lesley! What do you mean? Like emails?

      • 59 Lesley February 25, 2014 at 18:29

        Yes, Professor!

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:18

        That a man, Lesley!

  6. 61 weggieboy February 24, 2014 at 22:43

    Definitely Nr. 1 today! LOL!

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:46

      Absolutely! How come?

  7. 63 The Dancing Rider February 24, 2014 at 22:26

    I so enjoyed this issue, professor! Thank you for answering my question about the “V”. I love the response regarding the professor’s “V”! ;-)

    Proverb #1 is so true, isn’t it?!

    Well, professor, I bet you CAN run as fast as a tortoise! :)

    Ay, yi-yi. The “conversation” between Ruber and Smiles Riot. Just cruising by each other at about a mile’s distance! Chickit!

    As for the super computers, I doubt Magi will find them all. In fact, he will probably be prevented from doing so! If they can see everything, whoever has the rest of them certainly won’t want any intrusion into their possession of same!

    Yes, I will support the petition to release Smiles. However, I don’t know why. Perhaps because he is related to the professor.

    • 64 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:46

      Sure! :D It makes sense now? :)

      It’s dadblame true! Boy. I’m sure you know all about it.

      :lol: I bet you’re right…but I used to be as fast as…a cheetah!

      Chickit indeed! Love the ay, yi-yi… :lol:

      Very good point, DR. Mr. Magi means well, but he doesn’t perform overly well, does he?

      Well, that’s good, I think. But I’m not sure I want him out… :)

      • 65 The Dancing Rider February 24, 2014 at 23:20

        Yes, it does make sense, sort of, now. Lol.

        Smirk. Yes, I DO know about that practice thing. One must stop before it becomes unfun.

        Mr. Magi does mean well … but as you say, meaning well does not necessarily transalte into performance!

        I don’t know why I feel sorry for Smiles Riot! It may be best if he isn’t let out, but I feel I must support him. Crack Jaw is likely to thumb their nose at such a petition anyway….. :)

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 17:55

        Haha! :)

        Very true, DR.

        For sure! I think it’s one of his rare problems.

        That’s true…but should I sign it?

      • 67 The Dancing Rider February 25, 2014 at 21:53

        It’s hard to advise you professor. If he was guilty of the crime…..perhaps he must do the time. On the other hand, this is the Punchy Lands, and anything goes!

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:32

        I see what you mean, DR! I think he must do the time. :)

  8. 69 ladycheetah7 February 24, 2014 at 21:36

    State tax

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:38

      Really? Even for the professor?

      • 71 ladycheetah7 February 25, 2014 at 14:04

        Gotta make a living you know.

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:10

        Against the poor, helpless professor?

      • 73 ladycheetah7 February 25, 2014 at 18:24

        You don’t seem poor and helpless to me

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:17

        Not even a little bit?

  9. 75 Simply Suspicious February 24, 2014 at 20:14

    Oops excuse me professor I forgot the “y” in Punch(y) completely unintentional I assure you. It was a typo not me…..

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:39

      Don’t worry ’bout it!

  10. 77 Simply Suspicious February 24, 2014 at 20:12

    OHHHH! Have I ever missed the Punch Lands crazies….as in no sense; not nonsense mind you. Do these computers make the professor nervous? I mean you never know when you’re being watched. Unnerving a bit don’t you think?

    • 78 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:39

      Well, I’d like to get the computers myself. Wouldn’t that be spicy?

      I think there’s sense in the PL, don’t you?

  11. 79 Painting Pundit February 24, 2014 at 17:39

    I don’t like this computer business. It sounds like some dangerous stuff is afoot. With Magi on the case it very well could be some nasty business. I hope he finds the others soon but trouble does tend to follow Mr. Magi. I look for bad things soon especially with DS lurking about.

    • 80 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 19:24

      That makes two of us. The computers are scary.

    • 81 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:28

      Hmm, I see what you’re saying. But maybe DS isn’t interested? You’re right about Mr. Magi. Trouble follows him. Maybe Ruber will go for it?

  12. 82 walt walker February 24, 2014 at 17:07

    Does Crackjaw cause crying out in the night or do people get put in there because they are wont to cry out? If he’s still going to be crying out once he’s released, that could be a nuisance.

    • 83 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 19:23

      That’s a good point, Walt. No one wants to be listening to whining and crying all day long.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:37

        That’s my dadblame cousin (nephew–same thing) for you.

      • 85 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 21:39

        Do something about it, please.

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:41

        But what?

      • 87 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 13:23

        Make him stick to one identity.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:06

        He already is!

      • 89 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 23:25

        *squinteeyelook*

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:38

        :lol: :lol: Don’t you do that to the professor! Don’t you believe me?

      • 91 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 02:38

        Some days…

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:15

        Not satisfactory, madam!

      • 93 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 19:15

        I believe that the Professor believes. Is that better?

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:13

        Not at all!

      • 95 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 02:33

        I don’t know what to do about that.

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 17:45

        Believe what I tell you.

      • 97 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 22:34

        We’d both be in trouble if I did that.

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:28

        :lol: We probably would…

      • 99 Susan P February 28, 2014 at 17:54

        Lots of it, too. :D

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2014 at 16:19

        Oh dear…

      • 101 Susan P March 1, 2014 at 21:43

        Is that distressing?

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2014 at 23:07

        Also could be fun.

      • 103 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:49

        I vote for fun. :D

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:47

        Me too!

      • 105 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:50

        Well, we agree on something ~!

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:27

        Oh, we do not!

      • 107 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 01:43

        Pppppth

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:01

        :) Popcorn.

      • 109 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:03

        Peanuts. :D

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:27

        :D Brittle.

      • 111 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:41

        Olives.

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:38

        Pineapple.

      • 113 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:57

        Beets

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:11

        Beetles.

      • 115 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 22:30

        Three blind mice and a goat!

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:50

        And a…a…professor!

      • 117 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:03

        Pish posh.

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:40

        Woof!

      • 119 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 00:48

        As in woofer?

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:06

        It’s one of my dog imitations.

      • 121 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 22:05

        I’d like to hear your cat imitation.

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 01:02

        It’s not impressive at all, like the dog one.

      • 123 Susan P March 11, 2014 at 23:34

        Moose call?

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 14:17

        Grizzlies kill moose.

      • 125 Susan P March 12, 2014 at 15:58

        And T-Rex?

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 17:57

        I have this debate all the time. I believe so, yes, a grizzly would kill a T-Rex!

      • 127 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 18:03

        A baby one. Maybe.

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2014 at 21:58

        Any one!

      • 129 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 22:09

        That’s amazing.

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2014 at 22:16

        I thought so too when I told Nick about it.

      • 131 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 22:33

        Laws. It’s impressive.

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2014 at 17:49

        Amazing!

      • 133 Susan P March 15, 2014 at 01:24

        I bet a crying baby might drive it away.

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2014 at 17:08

        Oh yeah! I remember that story. I loved hearing that when I was a younger type of lad.

      • 135 Susan P March 16, 2014 at 20:36

        :D

      • 136 walt walker February 25, 2014 at 00:39

        I’m glad you agree, Susan! I for one am a light sleeper. I couldn’t abide someone crying out at random intervals, no matter what for. Cookies or what have you.

      • 137 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 13:26

        :D

    • 138 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:28

      Aha! Love the use of ‘wont’, Walt. Very fabulous. You’re right. We should first make sure that he doesn’t cry out. Sadly, I think Mr. Riot just cries out to cry out. What does this mean?

  13. 139 sknicholls February 24, 2014 at 16:26

    Number two…though difficult to admit, is what most writers need! You just keep at it, even when it hurts.

    • 140 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:25

      Yes! That’s for sure. Which is very hard indeed.

  14. 141 FictionFan February 24, 2014 at 15:07

    Shnoddy’s back to his befuddled best! I’ll go with no.1 – perfection is overrated anyway. (Except in my case, obviously.)

    But why is the tortoise running? I hope the timeless professor isn’t hunting tortoises now…

    Schwarzy’s simply wonderful! Look at the way he just cuts straight to the point – none of that Punchy befuddlery so many of the others practice. But please tell him cookies are actually called biscuits.

    I’m glad Zez has one of the supercomputers – strikes me he’s one of the more trustworthy of the PL’ers. And he’s got a lovely gurgle…

    Nah, I think he should stay in – I think he’s a bad influence on the Professor. Did we know already he’s your nephew?

    Vicious Jellyfish.

    Please ask Mr Freedwoppen if he can publish some of Shnoddy’s poetry in the paper.

    • 142 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:12

      :lol: Of course not in your case! FEF’s one of the few I know who’s reached it. What’s the secret?

      Wouldn’t it be fun?

      Biscuits?! You’re joking, for sure.

      Would you visit him atop the evil mountain?

      :lol: That’s very mean. Yes, why?

      Hahaha!!! I forgot. Keep it a secret? Don’t let Susan find out, please.

      Really?

      • 143 FictionFan February 24, 2014 at 15:21

        Natural charm combined with copious supplies of chocolate…

        :lol: Yes, it would! For us, anyway…perhaps not so much for them!

        No! We mock the word cookies! It’s so…so…so American!

        I would – Zez doesn’t scare me! So long as the Professor and his katana came too…

        Well, that must mean the Professor has family in the PL, whereas I had thought he was an Earthling.

        Bribe me with chocolate and I’ll keep your secret…

        Really! I could do with a laugh…

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:24

        Well, I’m out, then, if it takes charm.

        Oh, they wouldn’t mind! They’re brains, you see, are very small.

        You do, huh?! How perfectly devilish ziz. I think I might holler about that. Everyone knows a biscuit is different from a cookie.

        But what if the professor is afraid?

        You did? Really? You said yourself I’m from another planet.

        No! I won’t. You should keep it just because.

        Well–okay!

      • 145 FictionFan February 25, 2014 at 14:37

        Nonsense! You have the charm…but do you have the chocolate?

        They just want you to think that – actually they are superintelligent aliens from a planet far, far away…

        See, only Americans holler too – probably due to the lack of biscuits.

        Tchah! As if! My C-W-W fears nothing!!

        Yes, but I was thinking of Alpha Centauri.

        Too bad. If that’s your attitude I shall tell the world…

        I wait with eager anticipation…

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:14

        Cherries?

        Haha…I might believe that.

        You’ve never hollered? I think you have. About Darby’s wig, for instance.

        Look here, Aravis, even the professor is afraid of some things.

        Is that a candy bar?

        *hangs head* I feel sorry for the professor, don’t you?

        But are you really sure?

      • 147 FictionFan February 25, 2014 at 21:56

        That might work, but you’d have to eat an awful lot of them to get enough chocolate into your system.

        It’s true – the next time you see one, ask it – but very politely…

        No I never holler. I yell.

        That’s just not true, Shasta. No-one who fears anything would wear cargo-pants on his head…

        :lol: Maybe! Wouldn’t it be great if planets were made out of chocolate? That would inspire me to join the space programme for sure…

        Nope. (Vicious Jellyfishes deserve no sympathy.)

        Really, totally, utterly, completely, unswervingly and overwhelmingly sure.

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:34

        I don’t think you would. There’s a lot of chocolate on them.

        I’ll hack off it’s little head!

        No, you holler. I know you must. Aravis did.

        :D Shasta’s a hero of mine, you know. You do have a point there.

        Ah, it’s a planet. Do you like white chocolate?

        I bet you wish you knew what they stood for!

        Well, then, fine!

      • 149 FictionFan February 26, 2014 at 15:33

        Then you should be perfect in no time…I wonder if we’ll recognise you?

        Only if it doesn’t stun you with its ray gun first.

        I yell – and Aravis would never have been so unladylike!

        I know. I know.

        Yes, why?

        I try not to wish for things I can never have…except George, obviously…

        Fine!

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:25

        You mean in person? Or because I’ve eaten too much chocolate?

        I need to get a stun gun…turtles are becoming fiercer by the moment.

        Oh yes she would! She pretended to be tough (like most girls do). And she was rather raunchy to poor Shasta.

        Hmm…must have said it before.

        Really? I’m :shock: Never met anyone who likes white chocolate. I’ve got some in my jar on my desk. Been there for months. Can bring myself to eat the little suckers.

        I don’t think you’d want him…

        Fine–I won’t do it!

      • 151 FictionFan February 26, 2014 at 21:47

        :lol: Either – but I really meant once you’re perfect as opposed to…er…fluffy…

        I know! They’re terrifying!

        Oh, Shasta probably deserved it (like most boys do).

        Indeed – I do listen to what the Professor says, you know…

        Post it to me – FictionFan, Scotland, Earth, Milky Way, Universe should get it here OK.

        Who, George? Why not? Gorgeous, talented, rich and single…who wouldn’t want him???

        Oh…OK. Any particular reason, or just to be mean?

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:22

        Well…I know for a fact that you wouldn’t recognize the professor, but I do travel with the ability to be recognized!

        The professor was a decent boy, you know.

        I do too. I just forget what he says.

        The professor will just follow the mail guy to your door.

        Me. And you. And Tuppence. And Tommy.

        No, I’m kidding! A poem just for you. (And I’m working on Star Trek. Promise! We’re planning a celebration sort of thing.)

      • 153 FictionFan February 27, 2014 at 15:42

        I reckon I would – I’d just look around for the cutest & most adorable man in the room…and if he wasn’t George, he must be the Professor…

        I bet the Professor was the type of boy for whom the word mischievous was created.

        Tchah! You should pay more attention to him then – like me!

        I shall have a bowl of chocolate cherries ready…

        Tuppence would like him – she’s a terrible flirt! I don’t know where she gets it from…

        Yay! (And yay! Soon?) I shall be waiting with eager anticipation…

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 18:17

        I shan’t tell you why that wouldn’t work!

        No, I was sweet. :)

        I can’t. He doesn’t make sense.

        Oh, how nice of you.

        I don’t know either. But now I know where someone else gets it from!

        Some poetry hopefully in the PL Times. Some time in April for the other?

      • 155 FictionFan February 27, 2014 at 21:13

        Because Schwarzy might be there too? Yes, that would make it more difficult, but I’d just get the two cutest and adorablest men to do a loon impersonation…then it would become obvious who was who…

        Still are.

        He does sometimes – it just takes quite a lot of concentration to spot it.

        My pleasure.

        I hope the Professor isn’t implying that FF is a flirt? How could you? I’m totally loyal to the dozen or so men I’m infatuated with…

        Sounds good! Have you sorted out the casting?

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:22

        Would it?

        :oops:

        Too much concentration!

        I wouldn’t say such a thing! Though you probably like the classification, huh? After all, Lizio was a flirt. As was Darby.

        Working it out. Was just talking with Mr. Fish.

      • 157 FictionFan February 28, 2014 at 16:18

        Well, unless my C-W-W can do amazing loon impersonations too?

        C&A.

        But worth it!

        Lizio was not! (Just pausing for a moment to imagine Darby flirting with me….ah! That was fun!)

        Tell him I’m expecting great things for the space music. Ooh…I want to know who my Schwarzy will be playing!

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 16:31

        Maybe he can…

        Huff.

        Darby’s dadblamery! I’m sure you don’t like him at all.

        Well…now…I’m not sure Schwarz will be cast.

      • 159 FictionFan February 28, 2014 at 19:39

        Do you mean…can it be…is Mic Schwarzy in disguise???

        I don’t like him. I adore him.

        Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2014 at 16:31

        What a silly thought! Who put that in your mind?

        You just think you do. You like Schwarzy far more.

        Goodness. Well…

      • 161 FictionFan March 1, 2014 at 21:51

        You’re right – silly me! Funnily enough, though, it’s a thought that has crossed my mind before… ;)

        That’s very true – Schwarzy is in a class of his own. Does he have a cute little curl like Darby though?

        That’s no answer!! If Schwarzy doesn’t get cast I’ll…I’ll…I’ll bite the heads off the entire stock of Chocky Chickies!!!

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2014 at 23:11

        And you’ll never know for sure (well, maybe one day) which is quite funny in my opinion…

        What do you think?

        Well…how horrid of you. :D

      • 163 FictionFan March 3, 2014 at 13:10

        Very mean – just the kind of behaviour I’d expect from a vicious jellyfish.

        I suspect he does.

        Or I might melt them down…slowly.

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:26

        Huff-Hum, madam.

        That makes sense.

        That’s not scary at all!

      • 165 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 00:18

        And you, sir.

        Does it?

        I shall get the manufacturers to make them be wearing skirts and sandals then…

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:26

        A professorish insult on the professor? Impossible! :)

        Yes, it does. I think you like curls.

        :lol: That does it! Please don’t!

      • 167 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 16:24

        You drove me to it!

        Well..I do…but honestly I’m not terribly fussy… ;)

        :twisted:

      • 168 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:42

        You definitely are fussy!

      • 169 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 22:19

        :lol: Not sure whether that’s a compliment or an insult!

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:24

        What do you make of it–overall, I mean?

      • 171 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 02:08

        Must be a compliment – the Professor’s already called me a piglet today AND suggested I should go on a diet, so he must surely have reached his insult limit for the day… ;)

      • 172 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:11

        :lol: Good noodles! Piglet’s a great character and a diet’s a good thing.

      • 173 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 18:56

        :lol: I like ‘Good noodles!’ very, very much indeed! It induces severe giggling. Therefore I forgive you for the piglet/diet combo…

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:22

        :lol: Well, I’ll write it down, then. Is it true, if I can make you laugh, I’ll get forgiveness?

      • 175 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 02:20

        Do! But of course – there have been many times it’s only been your ability to make me giggle that has saved you from a fate worse than death…

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:43

        :shock: :lol: Goodness! Well, I just make it, then. I know you want me dead.

      • 177 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 15:25

        Good noodles! Never! The Universe would hurtle into premature oblivion should the Professor cease to exist!

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:08

        :oops:

      • 179 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 23:32

        Yay!

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:59

        *hangs head low*

      • 181 FictionFan March 7, 2014 at 18:29

        Awww, poor C-W-W! But you’re so sweet when you blush…

      • 182 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:19

        :mad:

      • 183 FictionFan March 9, 2014 at 18:24

        C&A. Don’t you think that mad face looks a bit like an enraged samurai warrior?

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:53

        Well…I must admit it does–which is coolio.

    • 185 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 19:34

      They call them biscuits in Portugal, too. If they say the word in English at any rate. I loved the Maria biscuits we got there, and there were some digestive biscuits we liked, too. I couldn’t eat them any more because of the gluten, but they were just the ticket with milk for a snack.

      • 186 FictionFan February 24, 2014 at 19:36

        They’re great for dunking in coffee too – and then of course, there are chocolate digestives…mmm!

      • 187 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 19:46

        I don’t recall any chocolate digestives in my time there. Sounds delicious.

      • 188 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:38

        FEF is telling tales.

      • 189 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 21:40

        That seems a little rude. And as Baby Doll the cat always said, “It’s only rude if it isn’t true.”

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:42

        Was it mean of me, Susan?

      • 191 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 13:25

        FF would be the best judge of that – if it was mean. :D

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:07

        Well, I’m lost now.

      • 193 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 23:26

        You need to get you a gps

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:38

        Yeah, I should really get one.

      • 195 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 02:39

        I’d advise you not go buy one from DS.

      • 196 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:15

        Yes, it probably be broke.

      • 197 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 19:15

        Or twisted.

      • 198 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:14

        That’s a possibility, too.

      • 199 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 02:34

        :D

  15. 200 Tonia February 24, 2014 at 14:57

    a. Do unto others what they deserve. :)

    b. my knees r hurting 2. must c the dr for more lidoderm patches.

    c. Chocolate-covered edamame call me at midnight, too. My belly calls out their name, for I love them like too dang much.

    d. Mankidd must b a child prodigy. I bet he’s a cute geek with an iq of 1,000.

    e. I have to politely disagree..V is not the cool letter..It is the Y..for Y is a V ..with a tail attached. And who doesnt need a tail…ha ha…dumb joke, I know.. :)

    Thank you for being an understanding friend, Professor. :)

    • 201 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:09

      Aha! :)

      Oh dear. Hope you feel better soon, Tonia!

      :lol: I know what you mean.

      You’re rather right. Do you think he’s got a goatee?

      :lol: But funny. Do you think the professor should get a tail?

      My pleasure!

      • 202 Tonia February 24, 2014 at 15:12

        nah, on the goattee…he’s too young and not the brawny type to have the testosterone for all that facial hair.

        If the professor doesnt already have a tail, i worry about his systems..hee hee :)

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:14

        How old do you think he is? (Fascinating idea, Tonia. You help the professor think!)

        :lol: Where can I get one?

      • 204 Tonia February 24, 2014 at 15:17

        well, if he’s a man who looks like a kid…could be any age..unless he’s got gray…but could be premature gray. doesnt matter, i love his brain anyway. :)

        I think u have to order it thru the proctologist. …lmBo… no pun intended. :)

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:20

        Yes, that’s the spirit. The professor likes gray hair.

        :lol: Well…

  16. 206 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 24, 2014 at 14:35

    Out of the three I choose proverb #3, no #1, no 3…wait 1…3, 1, 3..none. I’m goung with none I’ve talked myself out of them both.

    Wobbly at the knees, oh no.

    Riot is about to admit something, isn’t he?
    We’re waiting…

    I do adore Mr. Magi’s diligence in his pursuits.

    As far as all the initials…badblamery!

    • 207 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:02

      :lol: Audith! You must pick one!

      Why not?

      You mean like a murder?

      Yes, Mr. Magi is such a great guy.

      Yes! It’s pure happenstance, right?

      • 208 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 24, 2014 at 16:51

        But…but…then I choose #1 in hopes I can cradle the weary soul.

        Why not…? I have no idea. :)

        Well, I suppose that is one idea. Now, I’m scared.

        I have my opinion and keep it all locked up with a tidy bow. :D Right you are, Duke. Will the real Duke please stand up!! ;) Or don’t. ..or do…

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:27

        Oh, you wouldn’t want that, would you?

        You tell me, Audith!

        No fear, the Duke is here! (See? My poetry is so bad.)

        Okay, out with it. What is your opinion?

      • 210 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 24, 2014 at 22:14

        Makes the most sense to me.

        Are you rattled, Duke? Get mad, please. Pretty please…

        Music to my ears. (What I would do for pinch of your poetry, in thrueth.)

        Haha. You want to hear it again? No. You have plenty of opinions to enjoy. Plus my version feeds my words beautifully. Shan’t mess with that, Duketh.

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:44

        Humph again, madam!

        Maybe, yes. Oh no. I’m like a sweet typhoon.

        Really? :shock:

        No, I must needs know!

      • 212 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 24, 2014 at 23:57

        What was wrong with that?

        Sweet typhoon..how professorish. :)

        Yes..you don’t believe me?

        That makes two of us. :) (See how I did that?) :) :) :) :) :)

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 17:57

        I’m not sure.

        Isn’t it? :D

        Should I?

        It looks like there’s 6 of us.

      • 214 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 25, 2014 at 18:57

        Yes, you should, if you want to share it.

        Maybe there are millions. How would I know.

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:22

        It will be not near as good as yours. I haven’t even written any!

        Millions…I like that.

      • 216 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 26, 2014 at 04:29

        Didn’t you hear my last poem crash and burn? I’m pretty sure everyone did.

        I believe you have written poetry. Surely you have written something..Mr. R must’ve needs to have sweet words for his Ladies. Or even better you could have Smiles writing some from Crackjaw (sp??) …you know, all dark and painful. :lol:

        I like when you say I like that. :) Billions… ;)

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:18

        I liked that one, dadblameit! Don’t make it seem rather awful!

        :lol: But, still, I’m not them, you know. If they write it, it’s theirs. Not mine. I can’t write poetry, but I am going to give it a shot Monday.

        :D

      • 218 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 26, 2014 at 18:30

        Okay. I will stop. :)

        Yes. A way to practice is what I was thinking. You are you, I understand.
        Give it a try. Nothing to loose. I’m cheering for you. Hear that? (Try if you want to…only. Remember that, Duketh. It is a vexing task. No worries from me.)

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:33

        :D You’re too funny!

        Well, maybe you could write some and I’ll put my name on it? What a dastardly idea! Go ahead and say it. :) I think I’m speaking Audith talk.

      • 220 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 26, 2014 at 18:40

        :lol: Maybe…it is dastardly. You are…Duketh.

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:08

        I’d like to be dastardly.

      • 222 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 27, 2014 at 04:34

        But, you aren’t, are you? They’d see right through you. Plus, I don’t think any want to hear from me. ;)

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 18:02

        I want to hear from you!

      • 224 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 27, 2014 at 20:51

        You already do….quite a lot. But I like hearing that. Do you really want to be…dastardly?

      • 225 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:13

        I don’t know…I’m confused at times.

      • 226 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 28, 2014 at 05:14

        Oh you know…you don’t fool me. Don’t give me that *oh shucks darn routine* Poetry writer…

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 16:17

        :lol: You’re picking on me!

      • 228 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 28, 2014 at 17:54

        How’s it coming?

      • 229 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2014 at 16:19

        The picking? Dreadfully!

      • 230 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 1, 2014 at 17:27

        Then that means it sounds just as it should and you’re over thinking it. Is it a tough project?

      • 231 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2014 at 22:52

        Maybe… :)

  17. 232 Bethy February 24, 2014 at 14:35

    You know Dancing Rider has a good point. I would almost tend to believe that you are very like Kurt and Murdoch except that Shnod’s went on vacation when you were still around. Hmm.

    As for his proverbs this week. They all sound astonishingly familiar like maybe I was talking with the Professor about them last week? Maybe Shnod has access to one of those super computers?

    What’s making you feel so old Professor? Is it all the snow?

    I would sign the petition also! Poor Smiles shouldn’t be crying in the night. Maybe he and Schwarz should hang out together more! :D

    • 233 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 14:41

      The Professor might have just had a birthday. That might make him feel old.

      • 234 Bethy February 24, 2014 at 14:42

        But birthdays are for having parties, not for feeling old! You can feel old on ordinary days when nothing else is going on.

      • 235 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 14:47

        They make you reflective – more so as the years pass.

      • 236 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:05

        Are you sure?

      • 237 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 19:02

        I’ve done a lot of thinking about it.

      • 238 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:35

        Which is good, I suppose.

      • 239 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 21:36

        You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?

      • 240 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:38

        Why would I not?

      • 241 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 13:18

        I think you know the answer to that.

      • 242 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:04

        I really don’t…

      • 243 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 23:20

        Then we’re all out of luck, I guess.

      • 244 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:36

        The professor is very lucky.

      • 245 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 02:36

        That is heartening.

      • 246 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:12

        Yes, isn’t it?

      • 247 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 19:12

        I suppose it is. :D

      • 248 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:12

        :D

      • 249 Bethy February 24, 2014 at 15:24

        This is true. But I think feeling old on birthdays is still dadblamery.

      • 250 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 18:51

        Well, I did not feel old yesterday. You made my day, you know.

      • 251 Bethy February 25, 2014 at 15:31

        Awww! I’m glad! I was pretty happy too! My hairstyle lasted through yesterday. :D

      • 252 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:16

        Do you have a buzz cut?

      • 253 Bethy February 25, 2014 at 18:39

        Nope! I am growing my hair out and it is finally long enough to french braid which my mom did for me when she was visiting the other day. They lasted for two days!

      • 254 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:19

        What’s a french braid?

      • 255 Bethy February 27, 2014 at 11:28

        Here’s some French braid pictures (not mine I’m afraid no one thought to take a picture of my braids!) http://photobucket.com/images/french%20braid?page=1

      • 256 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 12:50

        Don’t you have any pictures of your french braids when you were a wee tad?

      • 257 Bethy February 27, 2014 at 14:03

        I don’t know that I have any pictures of me when I was a wee tad…at least not where I remember. Now I’m curious I’ll have to go look.

      • 258 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 14:25

        I have some – can scan and send at some time today.

      • 259 Bethy February 27, 2014 at 14:30

        Thanks

      • 260 Bethy February 27, 2014 at 14:04

        this would be the perfect day for one since it’s Thursday!

      • 261 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 14:26

        Thursday?

      • 262 Bethy February 27, 2014 at 14:30

        throw back thursday :D

      • 263 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 14:33

        OOOOOOOOOOOOH

      • 264 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 18:07

        Very nice. I bet it takes hours to do a head up like that. Don’t worry. The professor will never do such a thing, you know.

      • 265 Bethy February 27, 2014 at 20:49

        It looks more fancy then the actual work it takes. My mom can do it in about 20 minutes–she is skilled though after two daughters!
        You would never do your hair like that or you would never do someone else’s hair like that?

      • 266 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:10

        Your mom is truly amazing. That is super quick, in my opinion.

        I’d never have it that way. Wouldn’t be becoming I don’t think. And someone else definitely wouldn’t want me to try.

      • 267 Bethy February 28, 2014 at 14:21

        She is! I know I would have issues with the patience of keeping my daughter still long enough to try it out enough to get that kind of practice in. And as for doing it to my own hair…I don’t know if I would ever be that skilled!

        French braids really aren’t a guy thing. Although my husband is quite practiced in the art of doing it to other’s hair. :D

      • 268 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 16:20

        Haha, that would take lots of skill!

        They do look nice, I’ll admit.

      • 269 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 20:12

        Awesome!!!! The old mother can still do it!

      • 270 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:03

        :lol: You’ve got a point.

      • 271 Bethy February 24, 2014 at 15:22

        That would be an excellent point for J. Freedwoppen to explore! How does everyone celebrate their birthdays?

      • 272 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:25

        Okay! It should be interesting.

      • 273 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:03

        Not yet…it approacheth…

      • 274 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 18:55

        It aproacheth? Can we have a Punchy Party on or near the day of?

      • 275 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:30

        :oops: Would you want to do that?

      • 276 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 21:32

        It would be fun! Portuguese style.

      • 277 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:31

        How would it come about?

      • 278 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 13:10

        You would meet me with the crew at the airport in Faro in the Algarve.

      • 279 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:00

        I fear I wouldn’t be able to get there. Wouldn’t know the way.

      • 280 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 20:15

        You can fly!

      • 281 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:29

        I don’t have wings… Oh! You mean plane. Of course, of course.

      • 282 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 02:33

        Of course plane. It’s a long flight.

      • 283 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:10

        You know, the professor hates flying.

      • 284 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 19:09

        Well, unless you want to swim…maybe you could take some benadryl and sleep the flight away.

      • 285 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:11

        Or do the Inception thing.

      • 286 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 02:30

        Oh now how cool would that be?

      • 287 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:31

        Too cool!

      • 288 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 02:46

        You bet your booties it is.

      • 289 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 17:53

        :lol:

    • 290 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:01

      What are you trying to say, madam? This is dadblamery…

      :lol: :lol: Okay…maybe you inspired me, and I told Shnod about it. Or, Shnod knows things from the SC!

      I am old, you know. Older than old.

      But would they get on?

      • 291 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 19:36

        Of course.

      • 292 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:38

        You sure?

      • 293 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 21:39

        Totally.

      • 294 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:41

        Well!

      • 295 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 13:24

        Trust me….

      • 296 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:07

        But why?

      • 297 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 23:25

        Why not?

      • 298 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:38

        I suppose I should…

      • 299 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 02:39

        Shoulda woulda coulda

      • 300 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 18:15

        Jerome Bettis!

      • 301 Susan P February 26, 2014 at 19:15

        :D

  18. 302 L. Marie February 24, 2014 at 14:26

    I didn’t know Smiles Riot was the professor’s cousin. Hmmm.
    Guess I have to go with #3 on the proverbs.
    How services the super computers in the absence of Silas Mankidd?

    • 303 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:59

      Hmm what, young lady?!

      Bud Parker actually does. Or MM’s son-in-law, Dennis.

  19. 304 K. A. Brace February 24, 2014 at 14:10

    Thank godwhomeveritneedbeblessmysoleandcod for the PL Times. I was almost afraid I would need to read the paper this week. Instead, now I know the world turns on the twist of a tiny portion of resistance, otherwise known as fiction in imbalance.

    As for the proverbs contradicting each other I think not. Obviously to practice is to strive to become perfect even though perfection is Platonic, we believe it in our interpretation and only the thing that betters that which we believe is perfect can be more perfect. But we know nothing is perfect or we would stop practicing to be so even though we do not know what it is because we only have ourselves to measure perfection by. >KB

    • 305 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:58

      :lol: :lol: That’s priceless, KB. :lol: Yes, that’s it! Perfect way of saying it.

      Wow. So, then, they don’t contradict?

  20. 306 PorterGirl February 24, 2014 at 14:05

    I would like to sign Sonya’s petition to get Smiles Riot freed! As long as he has somewhere to go once he is free, of course.

    The computers sound interesting. I wonder what they get used for?

    • 307 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:57

      Awesome! Where should we send him?

      For mischief do you think?

      • 308 PorterGirl February 24, 2014 at 15:10

        undoubtedly mischief, I am sure.

        Smiles can come and live with me, if he likes. Or, I think Mr Ratherquite and his Ladies should look after him :)

      • 309 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:12

        Which is cool!

        What would you do with him?

      • 310 PorterGirl February 24, 2014 at 15:19

        Mischief is very cool :)

        I would teach him to cook my favourite food at first. That way he would be useful. Then, I would teach him the gentle art of solving crimes. I might take him out on the river if the weather is nice.

      • 311 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:22

        Yes!

        Oh, that sounds nice…you know… The professor would be game for a boat ride if we were chasing sharks.

      • 312 PorterGirl February 24, 2014 at 21:24

        Really? That sounds both fun and dangerous. You’re on, Professor!

      • 313 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:39

        Nice! I’d bring you a sword, too.

      • 314 PorterGirl February 24, 2014 at 22:00

        Fabulous! I shall have the Boat Master prepare a boat for us…

      • 315 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:42

        Cool name for him!

  21. 316 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 14:01

    V. Shnodgrate sounds like he is trying to make himself believe that he can attain perfection. I suggest hat he work out in the Punchy Gym, sit for awhile in the Punchy Sauna and then have a Swedish massage. If that doesn’t make him feel better, there isn’t much hope. People who think they can become perfect are so annoying to have around, and are generally depressed because they can’t reach their goal. I really can’t want any of these proverbs.

    “SCHWARZ: You’re so…so weird! Oh yeah, chickit do it!” – This seems like the pot calling the kettle black.

    The computers /could/ be dangerous? I think it is highly probable that they have already aided and abetted some PL mischief. That would SO explain everything.

    I thought Smiles was the Professor’s cousin? How many of you are there?

    • 317 Bethy February 24, 2014 at 14:29

      I thought Smiles was the Professor’s cousin too! What’s going on hmm?

      • 318 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:00

        He is! What made you doubt it?

      • 319 Bethy February 24, 2014 at 15:12

        Well in the part where you said sign a petition to get Smiles out of Crackjaw you said “(the professor’s nephew)”
        So ….do you have a cousin and a nephew named Smiles? Or did they just get all mixed up over the weekend?

      • 320 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:14

        Oh dear… Well…you see…it’s like this. There’s no difference between a cousin and a nephew. One in the same.

      • 321 Bethy February 25, 2014 at 15:28

        Really? That makes me raise at least one eyebrow. !

      • 322 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:15

        Umm…maybe I just got confused?

      • 323 Bethy February 25, 2014 at 19:48

        uh. I think this was in reply to your statement that nephews and cousins were one and the same. This whole thread makes me go a little crosseyed myself. :D

      • 324 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:26

        I know! Is it my fault? I think it’s WordPress…

      • 325 Bethy February 27, 2014 at 11:32

        I say we blame wordpress. They updated the app on my kindle also and now it’s super fast, but doesn’t do anything. :/

      • 326 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 18:10

        Yes, let’s do that. Dadblamery!

      • 327 Bethy February 27, 2014 at 20:50

        Huff-Hum and a Roar!

      • 328 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:13

        :lol: I love that…

      • 329 Bethy February 28, 2014 at 14:24

        Yes, and WordPress definately deserves it for messing up something that was already working nicely. We should actually do it when they are sound asleep. A huff-hum and a roar would be perfect to wake up to!

      • 330 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 16:22

        And scary!

      • 331 Bethy March 1, 2014 at 19:47

        :D

    • 332 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:57

      Poor Shnod. Are you being unfair?

      :lol: You’re calling Schwarz weird! What dadblamery.

      I think you’re right there.

      He is. I’m not related to Shnod!

      • 333 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 18:53

        A fine line to walk, my friend.

      • 334 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:30

        Now, why?

      • 335 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 21:32

        Why not?

      • 336 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:31

        Well, what can you mean by it?

      • 337 Susan P February 25, 2014 at 13:11

        When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean. As Humpty Dumpty said, it’s just a matter of who is in charge.

      • 338 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2014 at 23:06

        I like him.

    • 339 ladycheetah7 February 24, 2014 at 15:02

      The computers in the PL I think are an equivalent version to Big Brother in the US. Privacy is no longer private.

      • 340 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:10

        Exactly! Only Mr. Magi (and probably DS) at trying to do something about it. The question is, Lady: would you destroy the SC if you got them? Or use them?

      • 341 ladycheetah7 February 24, 2014 at 15:21

        I think I would use them for security purposes like burglaries and monitor to make sure nothing happens to my car. I am not interested in other people’s activities unless it involves my personal property.

      • 342 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:24

        Would you let me borrow it?

      • 343 ladycheetah7 February 24, 2014 at 21:35

        For a small fee 500 per day + 8.25%

      • 344 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:35

        That’s not right!

      • 345 ladycheetah7 February 25, 2014 at 14:06

        I believe in friendly capitalism. You benefit from usage of my surveillance equipment, I benefit from a cash transaction.
        :-)

      • 346 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:10

        Can we decrease the cash?

      • 347 ladycheetah7 February 25, 2014 at 18:23

        We can do installments

      • 348 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:17

        How about 10 cents per hour?

      • 349 ladycheetah7 February 26, 2014 at 00:21

        Sorry. The rate is non negotiable. My marketing analyst (Snowden) assured me that was the prevailing rate

      • 350 Professor VJ Duke February 26, 2014 at 00:39

        :lol: Not even a biteth bit?

      • 351 ladycheetah7 February 24, 2014 at 21:37

        Plus 8.25% state tax

      • 352 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 22:40

        Do you want my katana too?

      • 353 ladycheetah7 February 25, 2014 at 14:04

        Yes, I would like one very much. Where do you get one of those?

      • 354 Professor VJ Duke February 25, 2014 at 18:09

        From a professorish store…

      • 355 Susan P February 24, 2014 at 18:54

        Hasn’t been for a long time. Human nature just naturally deteriorates without some holy intervention.

  22. 356 Jackie February 24, 2014 at 13:54

    None of the proverbs resonate with me. I will say this though – proverbs I and 2 contradict each other.

    Is there any connection between the V in the names and the formation geese fly in?

    • 357 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:56

      They sure do! What do you make of it?

      I’m not sure! Would you like me to find out?

      • 358 Jackie February 24, 2014 at 15:11

        Do you mean what do I make of the contradiction?

        Yes, if you could find that out it would be great.

      • 359 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 15:13

        Yes, yes.

        Sure thing! An awesome question. I’ve been wondering about it.

      • 360 Jackie February 24, 2014 at 15:19

        I have no idea what he is getting at with the contradiction. The only thing I get out of it is that we as humans have a tendency to contradict ourselves without really meaning to. Or something to that effect.

        Oh and I support the release of Smiles. Forgot to add that before.

      • 361 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 21:22

        I see. KB doesn’t think it’s a contradiction, and the professor is quite confused.

        Awesome! I’m still deciding if I do…

  23. 362 deanthefish February 24, 2014 at 13:41

    To Mr. Freedwoppen. A follow up to Dancing Rider’s question. If there is significance behind both Duke’s and Shnod’s first initials being the same, is there any significance that your, Mr. Freedwoppen, first initial is the same as Duke’s middle initial: “J.” Is “J” also a punchyish letter?

    • 363 Professor VJ Duke February 24, 2014 at 14:55

      :lol: I’ll put this through! But I’m warning you, Mr. Fish!

      • 364 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 02:18

        Threatening Mr. Fish, Professor? Oh dear.

      • 365 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 02:29

        But do you see how bad he’s being?

      • 366 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 02:44

        On a scale of 1 to 10 Mr. Fish wins flippers down.

      • 367 Professor VJ Duke February 27, 2014 at 17:51

        But why?

      • 368 Susan P February 27, 2014 at 22:43

        First you have to way why you were warning him.

      • 369 Professor VJ Duke February 28, 2014 at 01:32

        Because he was insinuating something dastardly!

      • 370 Susan P February 28, 2014 at 18:00

        Mr. Fish? What could he possibly say?

      • 371 Professor VJ Duke March 1, 2014 at 16:24

        He’s a dastardly fellow and you know it!

      • 372 Susan P March 1, 2014 at 21:58

        We get along swimmingly…

      • 373 Professor VJ Duke March 2, 2014 at 23:14

        Mr. Fish is a bad boy.

      • 374 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:58

        Well, you would know better than I, that is certain.

      • 375 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:53

        I do not!

      • 376 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:57

        I believe you are in denial.

      • 377 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:32

        Okay, I know him a bit better. He can be so wicked. (Like he is being now. Trying to tell too much about the professor.)

      • 378 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 01:49

        He seems quite the gentleman to me.

      • 379 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:07

        You’re joking!

      • 380 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:07

        I never joke. I am a most serious woman.

      • 381 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:31

        Na! You’re always making me laugh!

      • 382 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:48

        Maybe that tells us something about you rather than about me. :LOL:

      • 383 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:43

        And what is it, pray?

      • 384 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:53

        That you are quick to giggle and smile. That you are wickedly sweet and sweetly wicked.

      • 385 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:08

        No, to the first. The professor is a staunch man. The second is true, though.

      • 386 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 22:26

        The Professor is a kind man.

      • 387 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:47

        :oops: Oh dear!

      • 388 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:19

        Except when he picks on Mr. Fish.

      • 389 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:50

        Mr. Fish is mean.

      • 390 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 00:19

        So you keep telling me! ;)

      • 391 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:04

        Well…well…welleth!

      • 392 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 21:49

        :D


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Punchy Argot:

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