The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, February 24, 2014
Section A. Punchy Proverbs:
All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate—the foremost poet in the PL—unless noted otherwise.
Subject: Practice and Perfection.
(1) Some say practice makes perfect, but I say practice kills a weary soul.
(2) To achieve perfection: practice as long as you can stand it—then practice some more.
(3) We believe in perfection, even though we can’t perceive it.
Favorites, Punchy Family?
Section B. The professor speaks:
I suddenly feel old and wobbly at the knees, though I’d like to run as fast as a tortoise.
Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:
A short conversation:
SMILES RIOT: Crackjaw Mental Asylum isn’t a nice place.
SCHWARZ TAUPTINKER: Why?
RIOT: Because it could cause one to cry out in the night.
SCHWARZ: Oh, is that it? I cry out in the night all the time—for cookies.
RIOT: Snow or sun, the game is almost done.
SCHWARZ: You’re so…so weird! Oh yeah, chickit do it!
Section D. Featured Story: Super-Computers in the PL
by J. Freedwoppen
Four super-computers exist in the Punchy Lands. They were invented by Silas Mankidd, who has gone missing. (Mr. Magi is still searching diligently for him.)
Each computer has the power to see anywhere in the PL at any time. And see the minutest of details. For instance, one could use a super-computer to view two PL’ers talking halfway around the Punchy Lands!
One is stationed on Fat Man Island. (Mr. Magi and Fats Henry are the only ones allowed in the room.)
One exists on a mountain in Greece.
One is said to be in the Punchy Cave.
And one is in the Zez’s power.
Not surprisingly, these super-computers could be quite dangerous in the wrong hands.
Mr. Magi is searching diligently for the exact location of the other three, but it is doubtful he’ll ever complete his mission.
Section E. Hearing from the PL Family:
PF member, Sonya, would like to start a petition to get Smiles Riot (the professor’s nephew) out of Crackjaw. If you’re supportive of this move, comment below saying so!
Also, Dancing Rider asks: Does the fact that both VJ Duke and V. Shnodgrate have a “V” at the beginning of their names mean anything important?
Answer: Well, interestingly enough, it probably does. Mr. Magi says that “V” is a very Punchyish letter—maybe even the Punchiest. The “V” in Shnodgrate’s name stands for Vernon. The professor, however, has never revealed what his “V” stands for—if it stands for anything at all.
PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.
The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)
The PL Times!