PL Times, E24

The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, March 3, 2014
Edition 24
—————————————————————————————————-

Section A. Punchy Proverbs:

All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate—the foremost poet in the PL—unless noted otherwise.

Subject: Lying.

(1) A lie is a clever way to tell the truth—subjectively.

(2) Silence is golden—except when telling a lie.

(3) Lie often and lie spontaneously. This will enable you to spot a lie in any disguise.

Goodness, says the professor. Thoughts?

***

Section B. The professor speaks:

The professor isn’t sure if he can be jealous of himself.

And two things you should know about the professor:

(1) The professor knows most things at different times, which come infrequently.
(2) The professor is usually deep in thought about nothing.

***

Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:

A short conversation:

FATS HENRY: Parker, my desk needs dusted—now!

BUD PARKER: Right now, bud?

HENRY: Right now!

PARKER: Can it wait for an hour?

HENRY: NO!

PARKER: A minute?

HENRY: NO, NO!

PARKER: A second?

HENRY: Yes. Time’s up.

PARKER: Bud!

***

Section D. Featured Story: Smiles Riot Released from Prison
by J. Freedwoppen

Punchy Family Members: DancingRider, Hazy, Bethy, Walt, PorterGirl, and Jackie all signed Sonya’s petition to release Smiles Riot—the professor’s cousin—from prison.

I’m sad to announce…

…he’s been released.

***

Section E. Hearing from the PL Family:

Bethy would like to know more about birthdays in the PL.

Birthday Celebrations are different—depending where in the PL one is. For instance, Ruber claims never to have had a suitable celebration. Drake claims birthdays are for girls. So it really depends.

Jackie would like to know the “V” initial in Shnodgrate’s and the professor’s name has anything to do with geese flying in a “V” formation.

Interestingly enough, in the PL, geese actually fly in an “X” formation—except when they are passing over the Zez’s domain. Then, they fly in a “Z” formation.

Mr. Fish would like to know if “J” is a Punchyish letter like “V”, since both the professor and…I…share the initial.

Actually, it’s not, Mr. Fish, and the professor told me not to say anything else on the matter.

***

PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.

The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)

The PL Times!

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324 Responses to “PL Times, E24”


  1. 1 Veronica March 5, 2014 at 00:29

    Oh, I quite like all these proverbs, they have their place in many situations, I can’t distinguish between which is better. Not lying at all is much preferred, but that’s not going to happen is it.

    And I think if you’re going to be jealous of anyone, then being jealous of yourself is a good place to start, especially if you know lots of things at different times. I’m jealous of that!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:32

      Well…do you think the professor is an honest chap–overall, I mean?

      You’re jealous of the poor, dull professor? I’m sure you know things at different times, too, huh?

      • 3 Veronica March 5, 2014 at 00:37

        Dull is certainly not what I’d call you, far from it.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:53

        Professorish?

      • 5 Veronica March 5, 2014 at 19:51

        Who duh. It’s what/who you are isn’t it?

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:25

        Yes, sort of. I’m the professor and I’m professorish. Does that help?

      • 7 Veronica March 5, 2014 at 21:59

        Yes. :-)

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:34

        Sorry for being confusing. It’s one of my wicked traits.

  2. 9 Jennifer March 5, 2014 at 00:23

    Lies are an almost grey area, sometime a lie is good, sometimes not, so I spose #1 is for me. Everything is subjective really.
    And if you are in deep thought about nothing, when someone asks what is on your mind, you can truthfully (no lies) say ‘nothing’ I often have nothing on my mind and am regularly in deep nothing thoughts.

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:30

      Just like the professor’s age. Isn’t that subjective?

      :lol: I like that lots. Deep nothing thoughts. I definitely go through those.

      • 11 Jennifer March 5, 2014 at 00:33

        Is age really subjective? Not that I was talking about it, unless you feel you should. You are what age you are.
        Nothing better than deep thoughts of nothing. Makes you look wiser.. ;-)

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:53

        Unless you’re timeless, like me. Okay, that was bad.

        It sure does!

  3. 13 Jackie March 4, 2014 at 00:26

    Ick! No thoughts other than that on any of the proverbs.

    Thank you for the answer to my question. WOW! How interesting that geese fly like that in PL! I would like to see that sometime.

    Why are you sad that Smiles was released?

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:28

      Dadblamery for sure!

      A picture would be nice. I should probably hire you to take it. :)

      Well, you see, Smiles and I aren’t on the best of terms.

  4. 15 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:53

    And I want to see the weird geese.

    • 16 Bethy March 3, 2014 at 19:06

      Me too!

    • 17 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:50

      They look the same, I think.

      • 18 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:52

        My brother had some geese – nasty critters they were. We all got pinched more than once by them.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:27

        Did you pluck a feather in retaliation?

      • 20 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 01:45

        I stayed as far away from them as I could, chickit.

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:03

        Dear me. What mean critters.

      • 22 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:04

        And not terribly bright.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:30

        That kind of surprises me.

      • 24 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:44

        Geese never surprise me. On the other hand, owls always do.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:40

        Not the professorish one.

      • 26 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:56

        The one in Winnie-the-Pooh is surprising.

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:10

        And he’s surprised when his house goes down.

      • 28 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 22:30

        Piglet lost his house. Aren’t you sorry for him?

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:49

        Yes and no. Didn’t he get to live with Pooh?

      • 30 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:02

        Yes, he did. Lucky Piglet.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:39

        Well, maybe. I’m not sure the professor would willingly live with the Pooh.

      • 32 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 00:47

        You’d never be hungry for honey.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:06

        That’s true–if I could get any.

      • 34 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 22:04

        Pooh always shares.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 01:00

        He does seem like a nice chap.

  5. 36 FictionFan March 3, 2014 at 18:53

    Shnoddy’s in one of his moods again, isn’t he? The man really needs to eat more chocolate and get a more positive view of life! #1 if I must choose.

    I think the Professor underestimates himself – I’m sure he can be jealous of himself. Oh, yeah! Chickit!

    Has Fats Henry ever considered dusting his own desk?

    Oh no! Well, the Professor will have to make sure he doesn’t let Smiles drag him into all sorts of mischief then…

    Birthdays should be for girls. In fact, girls should be allowed to have a birthday every week, but never get older.

    Your secrecy around the initial ‘J’ is most intriguing…

    • 37 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:54

      You are marvelous, FF. I’ve always thought birthdays should be only for girls. And had lots of chocolate.

      • 38 FictionFan March 3, 2014 at 20:02

        Boys are just annoying to buy for, aren’t they? Whereas pressie-shopping for girls is fun!

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:57

        I like to shop…for weapons.

      • 40 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 00:38

        Boys!

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:32

        Girls!

      • 42 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:44

        So it is. Rumor has it that the professor has a birthday coming up. What sort of surprise can we conjure up for him.

      • 43 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 16:43

        Well, he says he likes weapons so I’m sending him a pea-shooter. :cool:

      • 44 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 17:31

        That’s a beginning. But, what if he inhales the peas instead of blowing them at the target?

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:48

        Thanks for worrying about me. FEF wouldn’t! I’m a terribly good peashooter. :D

      • 46 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 15:51

        Yeah, well it would be just like DS to make you laugh as you were getting ready to shoot and you choke on a pea.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:18

        Would I die from it?

      • 48 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:14

        Mercy! I hope not!

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:36

        It would be gargonic, wouldn’t it?

      • 50 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:55

        If gargonic has anything to do with a large organic garlic, maybe.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:51

        Hmm…it might now that you say it.

      • 52 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:45

        *nods* Yep.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:03

        Humph.

      • 54 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 21:55

        Raspberry tarts!

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:42

        Funny you should say that. Prince Beef likes those.

      • 56 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:13

        What an odd thing for the dear to like.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:45

        The professor likes it!

      • 58 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 01:06

        I am quite a fan of raspberries. It’s just the spelling is so odd.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:11

        It is. I’m always misspelling it. We should change the spelling!

      • 60 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 23:25

        I think we should just start saying it the way it’s spelled: rasp berry.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 01:07

        Yes, or start spelling it like this “razberry.

      • 62 Susan P March 11, 2014 at 23:38

        Razleberry.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 14:24

        Okay, then. This is the new spelling! in the PL. Must write this down.

      • 64 Susan P March 12, 2014 at 16:04

        Sweet!

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 18:03

        Many thanks, Susan!

      • 66 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 18:09

        *takes a bow*

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2014 at 22:01

        :D

    • 68 Bethy March 3, 2014 at 19:05

      I think more chocolate is a great idea!

      • 69 FictionFan March 3, 2014 at 20:03

        Chocolate is the solution to most problems…

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:57

        Except the professorish one.

      • 71 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 00:39

        There’s no solution to that one, I fear…

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:32

        :lol: that’s so mean!

      • 73 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 16:41

        :lol: It didn’t make you blush though…

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:46

        Of course not! Should it have?

      • 75 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 22:28

        No. You objected to me making you blush, so you’ve brought the meanness on yourself…

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:28

        I prefer the other way, Ms. Mean.

      • 77 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 02:13

        So do I…sometimes!

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:13

        Haha stink!

      • 79 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 19:01

        :lol: I beg your pardon?

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:25

        I won’t give it! You should understand professorish speak. I’m sure I’ve said it before…

      • 81 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 02:27

        Not to me! Professorish is a very hard language to learn – just when I think I’ve got it, it changes.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:45

        :lol: Well, that happens to me, too! (You know, if there was no FEF, there’d probably be no professorish. What a wonder!)

      • 83 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 15:34

        :lol: That must be most disconcerting! (:D That’s either a really lovely compliment or a cruel and wicked accusation…or perhaps both…)

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:11

        It is! (A total-duper compliment!)

      • 85 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 23:49

        (Then thank you, C-W-W – I’m most honoured! But I don’t know why…)

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 14:01

        Well, it’s a good thing because.

      • 87 FictionFan March 7, 2014 at 18:38

        Oh, I see – that explains it!

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:21

        In the professorish way.

      • 89 FictionFan March 9, 2014 at 18:31

        And what better way could there be?

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:55

        I can’t think of one. :D

      • 91 FictionFan March 10, 2014 at 19:50

        Nor me. :D

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 00:55

        FEF, that was sweet of you.

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:49

      And I thought you’d love all three… (FEF! Sorry. Completely forgot about the poetry. Next week. I wrote it down so I won’t forget.)

      And how so?

      No…I don’t think so. Neither have I…

      You’re right. I should put him back in jail. Come up with a plan to, I mean.

      Impossible!

      What do you make of it?

      • 94 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 00:38

        Did you? Why? (It’s OK – I’m used to being forgotten and ignored…sniff.) That was my Eeyore impersonation – did you like it?

        Because I’m sure the Professor is jealous of Mic…amongst others. Chickit!

        Tchah! Men!

        Better be careful he doesn’t come up with a plan first…

        Perfectly possible! My birthdays will be every Tuesday from now on. I expect chocolates.

        Well, I don’t know! But I suspect Mr Fish could tell us…

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:31

        Well, because they’re the proverbs of a wicked person. :) I did! Very well done. Wouldn’t you rather be Tigger, though?

        When you meet him one day, I’ll laugh like a lolly!

        Oh dear…

        The professor is smarter–I hope.

        Okay. Can I just wish you a HB instead of sending cookies?

        Yes! He could tell you far too much.

      • 96 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 16:40

        Oh Shnoddy’s too befuddled to be properly wicked.

        Too exhausting…all that bouncing! Tigger is much more the Professor’s style. I identify much more with Eeyore – grumpy.

        Good heavens! A laughing lolly! That’s quite scary…

        I hope so too…but if only I could be sure…

        No! And chocolates not biscuits!

        I know! I’m going to flirt outrageously with him till I’ve wormed out all of the Professor’s little secrets…

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:46

        Maybe you’re like Piglet?

        Laughing lolly…almost sure DS said that before.

        How can I prove it?

        Biscuits? Nobody wants those. I’ll send cookies.

        It won’t work! Mr. Fish is too loyal.

      • 98 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 22:27

        :cry: So mean!

        Then it’s definitely scary!

        We’ll know when we see who ends up in the asylum next time…

        Chocolates. Chocolates! Chocolates!!! CHOCOLATES!!!!

        Every fish has his price…

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:27

        I’m sorry! But it was a compliment. He’s my favorite.

        Maybe I will–accidentally, so that can’t count!

        I think you need a diet from them.

        Not this one. You see, he already sleeps with the fishes.

      • 100 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 02:12

        Huh! Not only is he a piglet but he’s a he!

        Yes, most people who end up in asylums claim it was an accident…

        !!!!!!!!!!!!

        :shock: You killed him??? That ‘J’ must stand for something really bad…

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:12

        Well, so is the moose/donkey/horse thingy!

        But it would be in the professor’s case. You see, I’m just too sweet.

        ?????

        I’m not sure what you even want to know now. Ask a simple question and I’ll give you a simple answer.

      • 102 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 19:01

        Ok, you may have a point there. But he’s not a…piglet!

        That’s very true! The Professor is as sweet as a fluffy chocolate meringue.

        !!!!!!Diet!!!!!!

        :lol: That would certainly be a first! However, your answer will amuse if not enlighten, I’m sure so…what does the ‘J’ stand for?

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:24

        Piglet’s the cutest character and my favorite!

        Aha! That’s the chocolates I’ll buy for you.

        Forget it. It was one of your passing crazes.

        Okay…In Freedwoppen’s name it stands for Jeremiah.

      • 104 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 02:25

        Aw…well, that’s quite sweet then! I withdraw my objection…but I was so sure you’d be a Tigger kind of guy.

        Mmm…yummy! (Just like the Professor!)

        I may be able to forgive, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forget…

        :lol: Well, that was sort of an answer I suppose. But I prefer Jellyfish.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:45

        No, Tigger and I are enemies. Sworn enemies.

        The professor, you should know–especially before we meet–, is not at all edible.

        Can’t I bribe you to forget, too?

        Now the “J” in the professor’s name stands for something different, then the “J” in Freedwoppen’s name.

      • 106 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 15:31

        Oh dear! I’m not sure if I can be friends with someone who’s an enemy of Tigger! :shock: (Although the idea of a Tiggerish-Professorish duel does have a certain appeal…)

        Tut! I’m sure he is – it’s just a matter of getting the seasoning right…

        Chocolates…

        :lol: Why does that not surprise me? Well, I’m sticking with Jellyfish till I’m shown some evidence to the contrary.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:09

        Well, the professor is said to be like Tigger. Still my favorite is Piglet.

        What seasoning? Dadblamery I tell you!

        Cherries?

        I don’t see why you’d think we’d share the same name! Same initial is enough.

      • 108 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 23:44

        But wasn’t Piglet scared of Tigger? Not terribly heroic… I once knitted a Piglet – most tedious!

        Mmm…garlic and onion, I think, and then simmered in a nice red wine sauce…

        OK, but can I trust you not to eat them?

        I didn’t! You appear to be mistaking me for Mr Fish…which frankly appals me!!! (Is it Jazzy?)

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 14:01

        I don’t remember… You did? You knitted a professor. Ooo, shouldn’t have said that. Forget that sentence at once. Knitting is a gift. That’s cool you do it.

        My comment has been beeped out here.

        Yes, absolutely. I’m not like Schwarz.

        No, no! (No. See?)

      • 110 FictionFan March 7, 2014 at 18:37

        :lol: Is the Professor a Piglet then? I do hope he was made by a more skilled craftsperson. My Piglet’s ears just never looked right – knitting soft toys wasn’t my finest hour! Pooh was the worst – I seemed to knit evil into him somehow…he turned out very scary…

        :lol: Probably just as well.

        Pity! You should take him as your role model.

        (Very good! Though this could take a long, long time. Jasper?)

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:20

        A Piglet? What’s that mean?! Now that sounds like a Pooh worth having.

        Him or George?

        (No answer.)

      • 112 FictionFan March 9, 2014 at 18:29

        I don’t know! You implied it! I’d send him to you but I’m sure he brings bad luck…

        Either. Ideally George’s looks and Schwarzy’s personality…

        (Aha! That probably means I’m getting close…)

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:54

        You still have it? :lol: Lovely.

        Can’t the professor just be the professor? :mad:

        Would you believe me if I said I’m not sure what it is?

      • 114 FictionFan March 10, 2014 at 19:50

        Sadly, yes.

        Of course he can – the Professor can be anything he wants to be!

        No. But I get the message.

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 00:55

        Well, give it to me, then!

        Hmm…I sense a deeper meaning there…

        Really? Interesting. I wasn’t sending any coded messages!

      • 116 FictionFan March 11, 2014 at 18:01

        I can’t – he doesn’t speak American.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 19:18

        He doesn’t speak at all!

    • 118 deanthefish March 4, 2014 at 01:58

      :D What will you bribe me with…

      • 119 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 02:13

        Name your price!

    • 120 deanthefish March 4, 2014 at 02:43

      This is a hard one… a real stumper…

      • 121 deanthefish March 4, 2014 at 02:52

        What could you possibly bribe me with???

      • 122 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 02:55

        How about one of those dinky little castles you can keep at the bottom of your tank and swim in and out of?

    • 123 deanthefish March 4, 2014 at 13:08

      This is becoming less and less promising… I’d have to tell you my address first so you could ship it. Then of course, I’d need yours for collateral.

      And a castle? Really???

      • 124 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 16:19

        Just swim over and I’ll meet you on the coast. We can fix up a wee harness so you can tow it back home.

        Just imagine – with your own castle you could be the next Neptune!!! That’s gotta be worth spilling the beans for…

    • 125 deanthefish March 4, 2014 at 18:32

      Well, all I can say is, if you really want to know you’ll have to be more realistic.

      • 126 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 22:11

        Cash? ;)

    • 127 deanthefish March 5, 2014 at 01:27

      I live on a yacht…

      • 128 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 01:29

        That does it. I’m going to swim with the Fish. Yacht? Oh yeah chickit!

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:58

        I told Mr. Fish not to mention my gift to him.

      • 130 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 16:02

        Ooops. I think he told me not to talk about it in public.

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:21

        All the more reason to take his fins off!

      • 132 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:16

        But if you take his fins off he will drown.

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:38

        That’s true. Wouldn’t want that…

      • 134 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:58

        So you’re going to leave him unmolested? Dadblameit – was that him with the Punchies today???

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:52

        Well maybe it was! Revenge!

      • 136 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:44

        What sort of thing might the revenge be?

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:01

        Ghastly revenge?

      • 138 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 21:55

        That sounds fishy to me (apologies to Mr. Fish).

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:42

        Yes, me too. :lol:

      • 140 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:12

        :D

      • 141 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 02:15

        Well, I’ve tried flattery and bribery – I may have to admit defeat…

  6. 142 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:44

    Being deep in thought about nothing is a wonderful thing to do. :)

    Smiles is out? How will we know which one of you is which. It seems like trouble is on the hunt.

    • 143 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:46

      Isn’t it? With a cup of tea, too.

      What does that mean, madam?!

      • 144 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:47

        It means that people apparently find it difficult to distinguish the difference between the two of you.

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:26

        Who does? Who Who?

      • 146 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 01:41

        You know what? there’s an owl in my neighborhood who was saying who who all day on Monday.

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:00

        :lol: Go shoot him, then!

      • 148 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:01

        Who?

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:26

        :lol: Are you being wicked?

      • 150 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:40

        Of course. I follow the Professor.

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:38

        :lol: You got me there. Not much I can say.

      • 152 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:59

        Oooo-a gotcha!

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:12

        :D

      • 154 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 22:31

        :D

  7. 155 Simply skeptical March 3, 2014 at 18:29

    #3 is intriguing! So the only way to recognize a lie is to lie — frequently. In other words, to spot a liar be a liar Oh my goodness…..I’d prefer not to spot a liar then. Is there no other way?

    • 156 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:46

      Well, there could be….what do you say on the matter?

  8. 157 technophile9 March 3, 2014 at 16:26

    Very interesting info about the geese. :P It’s these little details that make the Punchy Lands fun.

    • 158 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:45

      :D Do you like geese?

      • 159 technophile9 March 3, 2014 at 20:49

        Not until now. :P

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:58

        :lol:

  9. 161 Debbie March 3, 2014 at 16:16

    Deep in thought about NOTHING?? Say, how can that be, Professor?

    As for the proverbs, well, I’ve never been much of a liar. I’ve found that it’s usually best to tell the truth and let the chips fall wherever. Besides, isn’t it kind of difficult, keeping up with a plethora of lies??

    Smiles is out, huh? Hmm, interesting turn of events.

    • 162 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:44

      Debbie, being deep in thought about nothing is one of the most productive things you can do.

      • 163 Bethy March 3, 2014 at 19:04

        I couldn’t agree more!

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:46

        Yes, yes!

      • 165 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:48

        :D

    • 166 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:45

      I’m not sure. It does seem impossible, huh?

      It sure is, Debbie. I agree. And, telling the truth makes for more interesting situations, doesn’t it?

      He is! Are you glad about it?

  10. 167 Angeline M March 3, 2014 at 16:06

    Proverb #3. I’m learning that can be quite fun as I get older, and the more I practice, the more I’m liking it.
    I had no idea a petition was being sent round for signatures to release Smiles Riot, or I would not have signed it.

    • 168 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:44

      Really? I must needs an example!

      Would have, you mean?

      • 169 Angeline M March 3, 2014 at 20:53

        When bothersome children (my own) or friends ask if I will be home I say I’ve got a meeting at the courthouse and won’t be home. Then I can relax and do not have to entertain vexing people. Of course they are left wondering why I’m at the courthouse, so I must always be ready with another lie about that, should they ask. So, you see my dear Professor, that spontaneity is of the essence, and your proverb is accurately spoken.

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:59

        :lol: What would the other lie be? A meeting… So intriguing!

  11. 171 Bethy March 3, 2014 at 15:04

    I think I do like proverb #1. But what’s up with all the lying proverbs this week?

    You know what being deep in thought about nothing reminds me of? Winnie the Pooh! “Sometimes I just sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.” One of my favorite pass times for sure when I can chip off some time to do it!

    Ooo! Smiles released! What’s he going to do now?

    Hmm. I would like to go to a Punchy birthday celebration sometime I think.

    • 172 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:40

      I’d like to know the story on the lying this week, too. Did the Professor have a long talk with Daddy Salami? Or maybe MM is in trouble?

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:46

        It was all Schwarz’s fault.

      • 174 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:46

        That’s not what FF thinks…

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:25

        Huff to that. I think you agree with me. :)

      • 176 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 01:41

        Agree with you about what?

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:00

        That it was all Schwarz’s fault. (See? A straightforward answer!)

      • 178 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:00

        So Schwarz’s fault because he was lying?

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:25

        Yes!

      • 180 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:39

        Can you prove it?

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:38

        Do I need to?

      • 182 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:59

        I rather believe that you do before he sues you for character defamation.

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:12

        Huff-Hum to that.

      • 184 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 22:32

        I accept the Huff-hum and raise you a Roar.

      • 185 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:50

        :lol: What a lovely way to say that!

      • 186 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:04

        :D

    • 187 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:44

      Well…isn’t it interesting to consider how spicy a lie can be? That’s what I imagine Shnod was thinking.

      :lol: For sure! But…does that make the professor the Pooh bear?

      Me too. :)

      • 188 Bethy March 4, 2014 at 16:12

        Erm. I really am not a fan of lying at all for any reason. It irks me.
        Um. I don’t think you are exactly the Pooh Bear type? But I am not sure either. Obviously, you have some things in common.

      • 189 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:41

        :lol: I must agree!

        No, I think I’m Tigger. The only thing we have in common, is the professor likes honey.

      • 190 Bethy March 5, 2014 at 01:01

        The most wonderful things about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things!

        You like honey and you like to sit…and think…or not! Two things in common :D

      • 191 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:57

        :lol:

        Oh dear!

      • 192 Bethy March 5, 2014 at 22:27

        Are you bouncy? Cuz Tiggers are bouncy too! :D

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:37

        What is meant by bouncy? :lol:

      • 194 Bethy March 6, 2014 at 14:08

        Well I guess that answers that question :P

        adjective: lively and energetic; tending to bounce objects hitting it or resting on it

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 18:55

        Yes, that sounds professorish. :D

      • 196 Bethy March 9, 2014 at 21:01

        Really? Last time I heard about you, you were sitting in a chair “reading”…

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:59

        Do you think the professor ever reads? I bet not!

      • 198 Bethy March 10, 2014 at 13:28

        I think you probably read sometimes. I mean how else could you be a professor?

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:14

        But I’m not the regular type of professor, am I?

      • 200 Bethy March 11, 2014 at 17:42

        Nooooooo not exactly.

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 19:15

        That’s what I thought.

      • 202 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 17:34

        How do you know what Schoddy was thinking? And how hard is it to remember who you are at any given moment?

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:48

        I’m the professor all the time! :lol: I think…

      • 204 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 15:53

        Are you quite certain about that? ‘Cause if you are, there are an awful lot of Professor wannabes walking around in the PL.

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:19

        There are? Who, madam?!

      • 206 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:15

        *squintee eyes* I think you know, Sir.

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:37

        :lol: Every time you give me that look, I laugh! It’s like I’m being scrutinized, seen through!

      • 208 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:56

        You’re not supposed to laugh. That is the forerunner of The Look That Melts Everything. Dadblameit.

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:51

        Well, maybe it’s different on paper? :lol:

      • 210 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:45

        Listen carefully and you will hear the crackling of fire and smell the smoke.

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:03

        I hear it!

      • 212 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 21:55

        :D

  12. 213 ladycheetah7 March 3, 2014 at 14:55

    (Sigh) I cannot agree with any of the proverbs as liars profess themselves to be clever and deceitful when indeed they are deceived themselves.
    My that was quick for Smiles. Seems like he was locked up for five minutes. No drama. No news commentary or ongoing updates. Hmmm.

    • 214 Bethy March 3, 2014 at 19:07

      It is amazing how quickly you can get results when you start crying :)

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:57

        And he’s such a baby about it.

    • 216 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:34

      Lady, you always cut through the grime and find the truth. I admire that about you.

      What do you make of it?

  13. 217 Louise B. Leger March 3, 2014 at 14:52

    “A lie is a clever way to tell the truth” hmmmm, i like it!

    • 218 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:33

      It is snappy!

  14. 219 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 3, 2014 at 14:47

    Proverb #1 for me all the way. But a sweet lie is still lying. #3 I’m fan of this one, as well. Keeps a girl on her toes.

    The professor should be jealous of Duketh.

    I’m with Henry on this one.

    Turns out, I’m a fan of the liberal act of releasing Smiles Riot.

    Birthdays..ugh. Can be disasters.

    • 220 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:32

      Is lying anti-professorish would you say?

      How is this possible? :lol:

      Not Bud? At all?

      I know. I’ll blame you later!

      Especially the professor’s.

      • 221 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 3, 2014 at 21:46

        Yes, I would say. Joking and smooth talk can be done full speed ahead.

        It is possible.

        No because I understand the now noweth now concept, Duketh.

        :lol: Me? What’d I do?? :lol: Oh…yea.

        I wonder if we share the same birth date.

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:23

        Okay, then.

        How so? Dadblamery!

        I think I might… :)

        You released my horrid cousin, is what you did!

        What’s yours?

      • 223 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 4, 2014 at 21:38

        :lol: I can’t even comment. I’m ruined.

        Umm…if I remember right I wasn’t part of that crew who asked to have Smiley released. However, looking back, I am very thankful.

        What’s yours?

      • 224 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:21

        Haha! The professor is the ruination of most, you know.

        I wish he’d go back to jail.

        The 17th.

      • 225 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 5, 2014 at 00:56

        :lol: I didn’t. Now that IS bothersome!

        Over my dead body…

        Cool :D

      • 226 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:55

        You don’t want him in jail, too? Wonder of wonders.

      • 227 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 5, 2014 at 16:44

        Do I get to pick the jail?

      • 228 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:17

        Yes. Crackjaw?

      • 229 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 5, 2014 at 21:55

        *shakes her head*

      • 230 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:33

        *takes out his pipe*

      • 231 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 6, 2014 at 14:43

        I stole that already…and your reading glasses. :)

      • 232 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:02

        :lol: What about my monocle?

      • 233 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 6, 2014 at 19:50

        As I suspected

      • 234 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:45

        :D

  15. 235 The Dancing Rider March 3, 2014 at 14:38

    Eek, those proverbs this time. I can’t choose any of them. If DS held a weapon to my head, maybe #1 proverb then.

    The professor is very Zen. :) If you do become jealous of yourself, please let us know. ;-)

    Bud and Henry’s conversation was very funny.

    Love the answer to Mr. Fish’s question.

    Last, I feel guilty in knowing Smiles Riot actually was released. But perhaps some adventures are coming!

    • 236 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:45

      Great responses, DR. :D

      • 237 The Dancing Rider March 3, 2014 at 22:07

        :)

      • 238 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 14:04

        :)

    • 239 Bethy March 3, 2014 at 19:09

      I know! I had no idea signing the petition would actually produce results! I wonder what will happen next.

      • 240 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:57

        Really? The professor is a man of means in the PL, you know.

      • 241 Bethy March 4, 2014 at 16:13

        You mean you can make something happen?

      • 242 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:41

        Well…yes… :)

      • 243 Bethy March 5, 2014 at 01:01

        That sounds ominous.

      • 244 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:57

        And sort of neatio.

      • 245 Bethy March 5, 2014 at 22:28

        Very neatio. And maybe even coolio!

      • 246 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:38

        Yes! :D

    • 247 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:31

      :lol: I agree with you completely, DR.

      What is Zen? What would you do if I did? I think I could be lost at that point.

      And counterproductive.

      It was a dadblame question. I’m glad J. dealt with it wisely.

      Definitely! (And don’t feel too guilty about it.)

      • 248 The Dancing Rider March 3, 2014 at 22:07

        Well I certainly can’t define Zen! But I’m sure you are inadvertently practicing it! :)

        (ok, I won’t feel too guilty then….)

      • 249 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:23

        Well, glory be! What a wonder. Zen…very interesting.

        ( :D )

  16. 250 walt walker March 3, 2014 at 14:33

    Oh dear. Have I been signing things without reading them again?

    • 251 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:46

      I don’t know. Have you been?

      • 252 walt walker March 4, 2014 at 01:26

        I fear I’ve been hornswaggled, Susan. My name is on The List!

      • 253 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 14:05

        Gadzooks, Walt. You’ve got to get hold of that list and BURN it baby, BURN it!

      • 254 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:34

        No!

      • 255 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 15:48

        Yes!!!!!!

      • 256 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:17

        Burn baby burn…reminds me of a game.

      • 257 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:12

        What sort of game?

      • 258 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:35

        It was a plastic, green army men game. Sounds professorish, doesn’t it?

      • 259 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:53

        Sounds like the Professor has been playing in Toy Story.

      • 260 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:48

        How did you know I liked that movie?

      • 261 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:47

        Who DOESN’T like that movie?

      • 262 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:04

        Mic.

      • 263 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 22:12

        Why doesn’t he like it?

      • 264 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:43

        It’s too babyish, he says.

      • 265 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:15

        Pshaw.

      • 266 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:45

        That’s what I said to him.

      • 267 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 01:07

        Well, good for you then!:)

      • 268 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:12

        Yes, and he swung.

      • 269 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 23:27

        A club?

      • 270 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 01:09

        His fist!

      • 271 Susan P March 11, 2014 at 23:39

        Ouch.

      • 272 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 14:25

        I blocked it! :)

      • 273 Susan P March 12, 2014 at 16:05

        Good cop bad cop?

      • 274 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 18:05

        I’m not a cop at all. :)

      • 275 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 18:10

        Why’d you get hit?

      • 276 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2014 at 22:02

        You tell me, please.

      • 277 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 22:12

        I don’t have a clue. I wasn’t there and you can’t prove otherwise.

      • 278 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2014 at 22:20

        Well, I certainly can’t. I’m not sure either…

      • 279 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 22:35

        Who was there then?

      • 280 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2014 at 17:51

        I think I was… :lol:

      • 281 Susan P March 15, 2014 at 01:27

        Well you weren’t where I was.

      • 282 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2014 at 17:10

        I could have been! Now isn’t that a professorish thought?

      • 283 Susan P March 16, 2014 at 20:39

        Maybe you were there in a different time in history?

      • 284 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2014 at 14:40

        Yes, that’s it. I’m timeless, you know.

      • 285 Susan P March 17, 2014 at 20:37

        Just as I suspected. :D

      • 286 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2014 at 22:44

        :D

    • 287 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:30

      Well, you sort of agreed to it, Walt…so I put your name down. Are you quite cranky?

      • 288 walt walker March 4, 2014 at 01:30

        Hornswagglings can sometimes make me cranky. This one makes me want to break out into song and dance, like in a Broadway musical.

      • 289 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:33

        :lol: :lol: Cool word? Is it yours, my man? I’m not sure if I should apologize now. I mean, isn’t singing and dancing a good thing?

      • 290 walt walker March 5, 2014 at 01:43

        I wish it were my word like I wish Smiles Riot were my name. Alas, neither belong to me. Singing and dancing can be good things, but also bad things. Very bad things. Especially if I’m the one doing them. Not gifted in that department, you see.

      • 291 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:01

        :lol: Walt, you’re just as bad off, then, as this professor. Wouldn’t you rather have a swordfight then dance?

      • 292 walt walker March 6, 2014 at 01:27

        If one is gifted in dance, it elevates one’s swordsing, don’t you think? At the very least, the fighting is more graceful.

        For dramatic effect, I once tried to clamp my sword in my teeth and twirl rapidly. I thought it would terrify my opponent, or at least bewilder him for a moment, giving me a chance to strike. But I just fell down. And broke my sword. And knocked over a basket of rubber bouncy balls that went sproinging about the room.

        Embarrassing!

      • 293 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:41

        Did your opponent laugh you to scorn?

  17. 294 L. Marie March 3, 2014 at 14:31

    i’m with PorterGirl. Number 1.
    What’s going to happen with Smiles Riot now that he’s been released?

    • 295 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:29

      Well…he’ll probably float around–not literally, of course. Probably bother me. And then I’ll get him locked up again.

  18. 296 PorterGirl March 3, 2014 at 14:02

    Oooh, not sure about the proverbs – I always find the truth is far better and often more entertaining. But, if I had to pick one, I think number one is the wisest.

    Being deep in thought about nothing is an admirable past time :)

    Hurrah! Smiles is released! Now, where will he go? What will he do? I suspect adventures are afoot! Marvelous.

    • 297 Susan P March 3, 2014 at 18:47

      I just don’t know about those proverbs. *shaking head sadly*

      • 298 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:47

        Why so?

      • 299 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:49

        Well, when I write that sort of thing it’s a mental exercise to dump a load of garbage that smells bad to me.

      • 300 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:27

        The professor thinks they’re spicy. :D

      • 301 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 01:42

        Naughty is more like it.

      • 302 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:00

        Rats and a Heifer. I wish I was the one that came up with them.

      • 303 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:02

        With what?

      • 304 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:27

        The proverbs.

      • 305 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:41

        I thought you and Shnoddy were the same person?

      • 306 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:38

        Dadblamery! Of course not! We have different pages.

      • 307 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:58

        Hahahaha. Of course you do. His is pretty dull, actually. You’re on the other hand has possibilities.

      • 308 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:12

        See? You’re laughing me to scorn! Shnod’s not dull!

      • 309 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 22:31

        Wouldn’t dream of such a thing.

      • 310 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:50

        Well, then, what were you doing? :)

      • 311 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:04

        Land sake, Professor. That was nearly a week ago. How am I supposed to remember what I was doing then?

      • 312 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:43

        :lol: :lol: Sorry! The conversations just take a long time, that’s all.

      • 313 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 00:49

        I think I was watching some funny people in the grocery store.

      • 314 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:07

        The store is always full of them.

      • 315 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 22:06

        I would never shop if I could get away with it.

      • 316 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 01:02

        Me too!

      • 317 Susan P March 11, 2014 at 23:34

        :)

    • 318 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:29

      I like the truth, too. You do know the professor is a truthful chap, don’t you?

      :D Thanks, Lucy. It’s sure professorish–if a bit wasteful.

      Well…he’s disappeared. Likely to get himself into trouble, you know.

      • 319 PorterGirl March 3, 2014 at 20:43

        Ah – other people being in trouble is always fun :)

        I know you are a very truthful chap, Professor. It is one of the myriad of reasons why I adore you so much

      • 320 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 20:58

        And sometimes…even yourself!

        Aw! That’s a very nice thing of you to say. (Doesn’t my wickedness count for anything?)

      • 321 PorterGirl March 3, 2014 at 20:59

        Haha – yes, I do like to get into trouble every now and then. Maybe even more often than that!

        You are not dreadfully wicked, and a little bit of wicked is brilliant!

      • 322 Professor VJ Duke March 3, 2014 at 21:00

        :lol: Me too!

        Yes, for sure. The Dean is wicked.

      • 323 PorterGirl March 3, 2014 at 21:05

        And he is wonderful! Which proves the point :)

      • 324 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 13:21

        It sure does!


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Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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