The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, March 3, 2014
Section A. Punchy Proverbs:
All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate—the foremost poet in the PL—unless noted otherwise.
(1) A lie is a clever way to tell the truth—subjectively.
(2) Silence is golden—except when telling a lie.
(3) Lie often and lie spontaneously. This will enable you to spot a lie in any disguise.
Goodness, says the professor. Thoughts?
Section B. The professor speaks:
The professor isn’t sure if he can be jealous of himself.
And two things you should know about the professor:
(1) The professor knows most things at different times, which come infrequently.
(2) The professor is usually deep in thought about nothing.
Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:
A short conversation:
FATS HENRY: Parker, my desk needs dusted—now!
BUD PARKER: Right now, bud?
HENRY: Right now!
PARKER: Can it wait for an hour?
PARKER: A minute?
HENRY: NO, NO!
PARKER: A second?
HENRY: Yes. Time’s up.
Section D. Featured Story: Smiles Riot Released from Prison
by J. Freedwoppen
Punchy Family Members: DancingRider, Hazy, Bethy, Walt, PorterGirl, and Jackie all signed Sonya’s petition to release Smiles Riot—the professor’s cousin—from prison.
I’m sad to announce…
…he’s been released.
Section E. Hearing from the PL Family:
Bethy would like to know more about birthdays in the PL.
Jackie would like to know the “V” initial in Shnodgrate’s and the professor’s name has anything to do with geese flying in a “V” formation.
Interestingly enough, in the PL, geese actually fly in an “X” formation—except when they are passing over the Zez’s domain. Then, they fly in a “Z” formation.
Mr. Fish would like to know if “J” is a Punchyish letter like “V”, since both the professor and…I…share the initial.
Actually, it’s not, Mr. Fish, and the professor told me not to say anything else on the matter.
PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.
The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)
The PL Times!