Tales and Stories: Mr. Ratherquite Makes an Observation

“Gather around close, Ladies,” Mr. Ratherquite said. “I’ve just got something quite important to read to you.”

“It better be worth the time it takes to hear!” the red-haired lady announced.

“Yes, I agree,” the corpulent lady followed up, shaking her curls.

Mr. Ratherquite smiled. “It is. Listen: ‘The phases of the womanly nature are infinite in their variety. Take any type of woman, and you will find in it something to respect, something to admire, something to love.’”

“Oh, how sweet!” the red-haired lady said.

The corpulent lady smiled. “Is it yours, dear sir?”

“Sadly not,” Mr. Ratherquite answered. “It’s—”

“Let me guess whose it is!” Schwarz Tauptinker said, stepping into the room.

Mr. Ratherquite looked a bit unhappy. “Go ahead.”

“Not fair!” the red-haired lady called out. “We must get to guess too! Isn’t that right, darling?”

The corpulent lady nodded her agreement.

“I go first,” Schwarz said, “‘cause I thought up the game. Chickit.”

“Go ahead,” Mr. Ratherquite said again. “Who said that quote?”

“Mozart?” Schwarz guessed.

“Wrong,” Mr. Ratherquite answered.

“Froggie the bean?” Schwarz seemed unsure about this guess.

The ladies started to giggle.

“Good, sir!” Mr. Ratherquite said, chucking. “What would possess you to guess that?”

Schwarz thought for a moment. “I got it! Schwarz said it!”

“You can’t guess yourself, dolt,” the red-haired lady said.

“Now, Ladies”—Mr. Ratherquite smiled—“It’s your turn to guess.”

“We give up!” the corpulent lady said.

“We do indeed,” the red-haired lady announced.

Mr. Ratherquite laughed heartily. “It was Mr. Mark Twain who said it.”

“Very lovely of him,” both ladies said at once.

Now, throughout this entire conversation, the professor was sitting in an armchair, reading a book. This is when I spoke up.

“I wouldn’t say it was nice of him. Since he referred to a woman as ‘it’. It seems—to this professor, anyway—that Mr. Ratherquite was secretly and silently insulting both of you—very professorish of him, in fact.”

Mr. Ratherquite grew red in the face. “You, sir, are rude, crude—”

“And observant,” this professor finished.

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255 Responses to “Tales and Stories: Mr. Ratherquite Makes an Observation”


  1. 1 bardictale March 6, 2014 at 19:24

    Well served

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:33

      Wasn’t I grand? :)

      • 3 bardictale March 7, 2014 at 13:48

        More than grand, sir

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 14:05

        Beautiful?

      • 5 bardictale March 7, 2014 at 14:20

        Beautiful is more than grand?

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 20:56

        I’m not sure. Is it?

      • 7 bardictale March 8, 2014 at 17:17

        Don’t think so. I believe they are on two different scales.
        But if beautiful for you is better than grand, then it was beautiful^~

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:54

        I suppose you’re right.

        Thank you, Bard. :D

      • 9 bardictale March 8, 2014 at 22:33

        You’re very welcome, professor.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:50

        :D

  2. 11 maryamchahine March 6, 2014 at 17:31

    The Professor is very sharp, indeed! But I still like the quote anyway : D

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:12

      I’m honored! It is nice. Do you think I was too mean?

      • 13 maryamchahine March 7, 2014 at 16:33

        Perhaps a little depending on how you look at it ;D Is that quote really from Mr. Twain? Made me think a little bit more about Mr. Twain although the Professor seems to have twisted the meaning a bit.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 20:58

        Yes, it’s all his. I did twist it! Wasn’t it wicked of me?

      • 15 maryamchahine March 8, 2014 at 09:47

        Yes, indeed : )

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:52

        :D Well, that’s good, I think.

      • 17 maryamchahine March 9, 2014 at 15:33

        Indeed! He wouldn’t be as interesting if he wasn’t ; )

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:52

        For sure!

  3. 19 themofman March 5, 2014 at 05:00

    I’d like to meet someone with the name Tauptinker, the experience has got to be good for a laugh. It’s right up there with Slartibartfast.

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:13

      Now that is an interesting last name. Where’s it from?

  4. 21 Bethy March 5, 2014 at 01:04

    Yay! Schwarz showed up! I was wondering where he was.
    Those ladies always act so silly. Do they have any brains? And does Mr. R have any other lines then the rude, crude one?
    And good job Professor! :D

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:58

      You were waiting for Schwarz? :shock:

      Not at all! Neither does Mr. R–that’s why the professor attacked!

      • 23 Bethy March 5, 2014 at 22:29

        Well Schwarz always has something interesting to say!!

        I think the professor did a good job. :D Besides, it is fun to poke fun at Mr R

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:38

        Too much fun! He does get so angry, though. I should play a practical joke on him…

      • 25 Bethy March 6, 2014 at 14:08

        Ooo you should! I can see ideas popping up in your brain already :D

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 18:56

        Yes, yes! Horridly wicked ones! :)

      • 27 Bethy March 9, 2014 at 21:02

        that is a terrific way to start off the weekend!

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:59

        :D

  5. 29 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 4, 2014 at 22:29

    :lol: Poor Mr. R. I think his ladies should have been more excited about his reading. It was a very nice quote. However, only you would then take it and smother it. :lol:

    I read your stories just for the pure enjoyment of word twistings, if nothing else. “It” …good grief! For all women I hereby take your book and pipe!

    • 30 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:29

      :lol: You make me laugh! Of course, I didn’t smother it. I only reduced and destroyed it. Isn’t that better?

      Not the hat? Goodness, you’re stealing. Wasn’t it brilliant of me? :D

      • 31 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 5, 2014 at 00:55

        :lol: How do I argue with that response? But it was such a nice source of expression. Mr. R’s heart was in the right place.

        *snatches it from you and runs* That, too.
        It was. I seriously love that. I remember the first rip of yours I read…the one with the man climbing down a stone wall and he had a mustache you kept mentioning…yea it was then I knew you were something… :)

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:54

        It was not! He’s just trying to get the Ladies to listen to him without question, I warrant. That’s why the professor intervened. You see, I’m the hero.

        :lol: *grabs and holds his katana close* You mayn’t have that too!

        I remember that! :D Wasn’t that mustache just something? Wowawee. Yes, you knew I was crazy.

      • 33 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 5, 2014 at 16:44

        I think thise Ladies follow him quite easily. The hero….by bursting bubbles. Umm, Duke is, officially, unromantic. :)

        Yes I may… *smirk*

        Yeah..it was something like that, Duketh.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:16

        :lol: You’re being heartless, Audith! And here I thought you’d be proud…

        If you come over, I’ll throw it out the window!

        It was dadblamery. I still can’t believe he had the mustache he did. A real shocker.

      • 35 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 5, 2014 at 21:54

        :lol: Only because you respond to it so well. What fun would it be if you rolled over and lett me pet your tummy? I was proud…

        And then I’ll throw you out the window…

        See…why I liked it so much.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:32

        :lol: :lol: We know that that must not happen! Don’t we?

        :shock: :lol: Goodness me! How heartless. Very feisty too. Maybe you should recant?

        I still have nightmares about it.

      • 37 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 6, 2014 at 14:42

        Of course we do.

        It would be the right thing to do.

        :lol:

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:01

        You sure you do? You make me wonder…

        But do you do the right thing?

      • 39 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 6, 2014 at 19:50

        :lol: Really? Pushing it, Duketh.

        Mostly, yes. Don’t question me!

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:45

        I’m always pushing the buttons. :D

        *clamps mouth shut and looks for pipe*

      • 41 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 7, 2014 at 17:36

        Sounds like you stay busy.

        *smirks sits back and starts reading again*

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:14

        Oh, that’s right. You’ve got me pipe.

      • 43 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 7, 2014 at 21:37

        Yes, and it’s nearly time for a relaxing ponder as the day comes towards an end…too bad for you. :) I hope you have back up. Toothpick?

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:38

        Toothpick! You must give me my pipe!

      • 45 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 8, 2014 at 21:16

        *pursed lips* I say no. *giggle*

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:49

        Woof, woof!

      • 47 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 10, 2014 at 03:00

        Come over here!!!!!

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:13

        Not until you give them back…

      • 49 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 10, 2014 at 18:36

        Okay….But…not the monocle. I like looking through it. I feel like a pirate, of sorts. I like keeping one eye shut when I am in deep thought.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 00:50

        So do I! If you don’t give it back…how will I do?

      • 51 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 11, 2014 at 03:03

        I’m not sure… fine! I’m no longer feeling like a pirate. :(

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 19:10

        It’s dangerous being a pirate. Girls shouldn’t do it!

      • 53 Susan P March 11, 2014 at 23:52

        Ah, but there have been a number of fierce female pirates.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 14:30

        That’s true. Calico Cat or Cat Calico or something like that. But it does sound wrong.

      • 55 Susan P March 12, 2014 at 16:13

        Hundreds of them. It says so on the internet so it must be true.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 18:10

        And the internet is full of dadblamery!

      • 57 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 18:24

        And tomfoolery.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2014 at 22:07

        Too bad my name’s not Tom.

      • 59 Susan P March 13, 2014 at 22:30

        You are already on the internet. Why do you have to be Tom?

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2014 at 17:43

        I don’t want to be Tom. I like being professor. :D

      • 61 Susan P March 15, 2014 at 01:20

        I like Tom a lot. He was a handful.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2014 at 17:06

        Tom Sawyer?

      • 63 Susan P March 16, 2014 at 20:30

        Yes, that rascal Tom Sawyer. He knows how to get his friends to help him out though.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2014 at 14:25

        I bet the professor was one of his friends.

      • 65 Susan P March 17, 2014 at 20:16

        You’ve gotten lost in a cave with a pretty girl?

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke March 17, 2014 at 22:39

        Well, no…was she pretty, Susan?

      • 67 Susan P March 19, 2014 at 16:58

        Becky? The boys was fightin’ over her.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:34

        Well. What a zinger!

      • 69 Susan P March 20, 2014 at 15:38

        She played all of them most of the time, the little flirt.

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 22:33

        The Professor wouldn’t have been taken in, you know!

      • 71 Susan P March 20, 2014 at 23:14

        I don’t believe that.

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 02:17

        And why not?

      • 73 Susan P March 22, 2014 at 20:15

        She was a charmer as well as beautiful.

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:18

        But how do you know?

      • 75 Susan P March 24, 2014 at 16:34

        The boys all fought over her.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:52

        Only Tom liked her; Huck couldn’t care less!

      • 77 Susan P March 24, 2014 at 20:20

        Huck didn’t care about much of anything. But Alfred did.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:46

        Alfred whoeth?

      • 79 Susan P March 25, 2014 at 02:35

        Alfred was the brain trust in the school.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:38

        I never heard of him!

      • 81 Susan P March 25, 2014 at 22:05

        Then you haven’t read Tom Sawyer.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:22

        Oh yes I have! My memory is just the greatest.

      • 83 Susan P March 26, 2014 at 11:02

        Well, imo, Alfred was nowhere near as entertaining as ol’ Tom, and that may have summut to do with him being so forgettable.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:23

        Was he the kid that fought Tom?

      • 85 Susan P March 26, 2014 at 19:24

        That would be he.

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:02

        Oh, I hated him.

      • 87 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:56

        A bit of a drag, I always thought.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:52

        Yes, me too.

      • 89 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:57

        ;)

      • 90 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2014 at 03:36

        But…I want adventure!! And an eye patch for one of my hazel eyes. :)

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 14:32

        :shock: Some say that’s the color of the professor’s eyes…

      • 92 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2014 at 15:01

        Stop flirting with me, Duketh. :lol: Really??!!

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 17:55

        I am not, dadblameit! Yes, really, I think so. It’s what I’ve been told! I think you’re pulling my leg: born in march, hazel eyes…next you’ll claim that you smoke my pipe!

      • 94 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 12, 2014 at 20:08

        Ummm…contrary to what you want to believe. I am 100% truthful. You may be a master if disguise, but I Sir, am not!

        Eyes, yes, Hazel. Birthday, yes, March. :P And its over already. Phewy on you!

        And I’ve been smoking your pipe for quite some time! LOL It suits me. I’ve kept it.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 21:53

        So am I! 100% truthful. I’m just shocked how similar we are in different ways. The professor does not have red hair, you know.

        Fooey on you! Five-hundred fooeys, actually.

        :lol: I must needs have it back!

      • 96 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 13, 2014 at 02:47

        See the whole problem with this friendship is you already have both sides. I get professorish versions of your side.

        See and because of that, now I’m convienced that you do!!! And a creepy crawly mustache. ..that is black.

        Is it phewy or fooey..? Hmm. Anyway, what’s got you all upset now?

        Don’t you like that I have it?

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2014 at 13:15

        Aren’t professorish versions the best? I mean, they make the most sense, I warrant.

        Not mustache! There! I told you. Ask another question.

        Depends if you’re using the professorish spelling–which you should be using, young lady! You won’t give me my pipe back.

        How can I enjoy it that way?

      • 98 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 13, 2014 at 17:21

        The most creative, which I do enjoy. I guess if you think so….

        Thank you. Don’t be cross. This will be painless, I promise. Red beard?

        Okay…Pooey!!! On you! I’ll take it back…

        There are a few possibilities, but that would require you finding enjoyment in seeing me happy. :D

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke March 13, 2014 at 21:52

        I think if we think together it’s true it will be. There’s some dangerous logic for you.

        How can I have no mustache and a beard? No red hair, either. :D

        Here, you can have it. But you liked my pipe just so you could laugh me to scorn, right?

      • 100 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 13, 2014 at 23:13

        My head hurts, you? :lol:

        I have no idea, but with you nothing surprises me anymore. Long hair?

        Of course…who really smokes a pipe or anything for that matter. You should keep it. It looks much better on a professor than a poet.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke March 14, 2014 at 17:55

        :lol: Yes!

        What’s long?

        I don’t know…poets and pipes…that sounds like a poem there.

      • 102 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 14, 2014 at 21:20

        :lol: This is some of the best comedy ever written, Duke. I adore it.

        Not your hair?

        Crud…now I have to write a poem about poets and pipes, don’t I? :( :lol:

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke March 15, 2014 at 16:54

        Me too! It takes two of us to create it, though.

        Naw, I’d say no…usually, that is. Never shoulder length if that helps. Yucketh!

        I like that word. Yes! I was hoping you’d catch the memo. :D

  6. 104 Debbie March 4, 2014 at 18:55

    Well, my goodness, but I was thinking ‘it’ referred to the nature, not the woman. Still, I can see how the professor made that leap, and I commend him on it. Was Mr. R. being quite sneaky, or are these two ladies somewhat dense??

    • 105 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:49

      No, Mr. R meant it well enough. I purposely misconstrued the meaning just to see if the Ladies would get angry at Mr. R. It didn’t work. They got angry with me. I don’t think Mr. R would be rude on purpose, do you?

  7. 106 Simply skeptical March 4, 2014 at 16:47

    Is “it” not in reference to a lady’s nature not the lady herself? This is tricky professor. I agree that Mr. R’s ladies do seem to be bit impatient towards him. He’d better watch out; these seemingly faithfuls may have another side to them.

    • 107 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:47

      They sure do have another side, but Mr. R keeps them “under his wings” with compliments and gifts. Yes, I purposely misconstrued the meaning. Was it wicked of me?

      • 108 Simply skeptical March 4, 2014 at 23:32

        I must say it had me fooled and thinking harder than I usually do…

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:29

        Nonsense! I’m sure you think hard all the time. For instance, look at your name!

  8. 110 Julie Harris March 4, 2014 at 14:55

    This is, indeed, food for thought! Very observant, you are!

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:37

      Thank you! It wasn’t terribly wicked of me, was it?

      • 112 Julie Harris March 4, 2014 at 23:58

        Maybe just a little :)

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:29

        Would you have done the same thing?

  9. 114 L. Marie March 4, 2014 at 14:51

    “It better be worth the time it takes to hear!” Wow. Do I sense a revolt among Mr. Ratherquite’s ladies? Usually they follow along and giggle without questioning Mr. Ratherquite. And was the Professor egging on this revolt by that observation?

    • 115 PorterGirl March 4, 2014 at 14:56

      Good point, L. Marie – a Ladies revolt would be very exciting!

      • 116 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 15:12

        Too true, PG. What fun that would be!

      • 117 PorterGirl March 4, 2014 at 15:13

        We should encourage the Ladies to revolt – I should love to see the look on Mr R’s face!

      • 118 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 15:49

        But do you think they really would?

      • 119 PorterGirl March 4, 2014 at 15:50

        Probably not. But they may be convinced to pretend to revolt, just to cause a stir :)

      • 120 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 15:51

        How do you propose to begin?

      • 121 PorterGirl March 4, 2014 at 15:55

        Tempt the Ladies with some delicate cakes and such like. Then convinced them of our fun plan, with the promise of further confectionery to follow!

      • 122 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 17:30

        I like the way you think! I’d best let you make the tea, though. I can make some cakes.

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:48

        I’ll make the applesauce.

      • 124 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 15:50

        And the asparagus?

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:18

        I love the beats, but I’m not sure if I could cook them.

      • 126 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:13

        Roast them in the oven. Bethy can help you with that.

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:36

        Yeah! That sounds good. I’ll have to go find her now.

      • 128 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:54

        How did that work out?

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:50

        How do you suppose?

      • 130 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:46

        Depends if Bethy cooked them or you did.

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:04

        You’re soooo mean to me. :lol:

      • 132 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 21:56

        Are you taking aspersion to my response? You shouldn’t. Every cook has his or her secrets.

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:43

        I suppose you’re right. Should I learn some then?

      • 134 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:13

        I daresay you have a few cooking secrets.

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:45

        Explosive ones!

      • 136 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 01:07

        You might want to invest in some sort of cookbook for beginners. :D

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:11

        I’m a veteran, dadblameit!

      • 138 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 23:26

        Veterinarians need to eat, too.

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 01:07

        But…but…!

      • 140 Susan P March 11, 2014 at 23:38

        What?

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 14:24

        What’s a Vet got to do with it?

      • 142 Susan P March 12, 2014 at 16:04

        Everybody gots to eat sometimes.

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 18:03

        :lol: Yes, yes. :lol:

      • 144 PorterGirl March 4, 2014 at 21:45

        Perfect!

      • 145 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 23:33

        Do we invite the Professor?

      • 146 PorterGirl March 6, 2014 at 15:07

        I think so. But he must promise to be well behaved!

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:03

        Is he ever behaved?

      • 148 PorterGirl March 6, 2014 at 19:05

        Maybe not ;)

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:13

        I think he is, dadblameit!

      • 150 PorterGirl March 6, 2014 at 19:13

        I will keep an open ind on this :) Would you like to come to tea with The Ladies?

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:14

        Well…is the Dean coming?

      • 152 PorterGirl March 6, 2014 at 19:23

        I think we should invite him, he might like it. I don’t think he likes tea but he is a big fan of cakes

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:33

        Me too. :) Okay, then, we will.

      • 154 PorterGirl March 7, 2014 at 13:36

        Yippee!

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 14:03

        :D

      • 156 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:37

        Even if he promises, who’s to say he doesn’t bring in a wild card?

      • 157 PorterGirl March 6, 2014 at 19:41

        This is the risk one must take with the Professor

      • 158 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 20:00

        Much more risk and my insurance is going cost more. :)

      • 159 PorterGirl March 6, 2014 at 20:02

        But life would be dull without him, would it not?

      • 160 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 21:36

        Duller than dull for certain.

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:53

        Sounds like me.

      • 162 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:43

        Does it now?

      • 163 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:01

        Yum-hum.

      • 164 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 21:54

        I would guess you are correct~! :)

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:41

        The professor is always the corrector of the bunch. That’s how you will know him.

      • 166 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:12

        *squintee eyes*

      • 167 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:45

        Dear me! *takes out his pipe*

      • 168 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 01:05

        Well, it does explain quite a lot.

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke March 10, 2014 at 17:11

        What would you say, for instance?

      • 170 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 23:24

        I would say, cowabunga

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke March 11, 2014 at 01:07

        Now I like that, you know.

      • 172 Susan P March 11, 2014 at 23:38

        I thought you might like that. :)

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke March 12, 2014 at 14:23

        Yes!

      • 174 Susan P March 12, 2014 at 16:03

        :D

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:37

        Aren’t I the wild card?

      • 176 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 17:00

        Ah–getting all Zen again. Yes. You are.

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:12

        What is Zen, dadblameit?!

      • 178 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 22:34

        It’s my understanding that it’s a kind of living where you live in the Now. The goal is to be able to be cool, calm and collected (or close to it) no matter what life throws you.

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:51

        Well, since the professor is a hectic beast, he can’t be Zen, right?

      • 180 Susan P March 8, 2014 at 21:05

        It takes practice, I think. But I don’t need a Zen master to be told where to find peace.

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:43

        That’s the truth. :)

      • 182 Susan P March 10, 2014 at 00:49

        :)

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:38

        It sure would! Do you suppose Mr. R would win in the end?

      • 184 PorterGirl March 4, 2014 at 21:47

        Of course. The Ladies do not have the gumption to maintain a revolution

      • 185 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:22

        That’s what I would suppose. Plus, I bet Mr. R can get really spicy.

    • 186 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:37

      I was! Mr. R’s Ladies can sometimes get huffy with him. He just lavishes them with so many compliments (like the quote) that they forget about it. I was trying to promote a revolt!

  10. 187 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 14:35

    The Professor is clearly jealous of Mr Ratherquite’s charm and rapport with womenly women. A beautiful sentiment and so true – and understandable that my Schwarzy would think it was him who said it, since it’s just the kind of lovely thing he would think of. Though personally I suspect it was from Froggie the Bean. (I’m reading a book about Mozart at the moment – Schwarzy and I are just soooooo in tune…)

    • 188 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 15:11

      Not to mention his envy of DeantheFish.

      • 189 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 16:50

        Mr Fish is soooo gorgeous though – there’s something about the way he wiggles his little tail and just glides through the water…so smooth! And just marvellous the way he plays music with his flippers! Soooo talented! He’s my dream fish really…(and there’s a sentence I never expected to say!)

      • 190 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 17:33

        He speaks tolerably well given he has to breathe with gills, you know?

      • 191 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:47

        Good noodles!!!

      • 192 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 22:28

        :lol: :lol:

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:38

        Schwarz envies the fish?

      • 194 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 15:50

        The Professor envies the fish.

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:18

        I’m going to cut his fins off!

      • 196 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:13

        For what reason?

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:36

        Isn’t he getting out of hand?

      • 198 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:54

        Well, he’s a fish. No well-breaded fish would stay in hand. :D

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:49

        :lol:

      • 200 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:46

        :D

    • 201 deanthefish March 4, 2014 at 18:28

      Quite charmed, really I am. Only one, moderate proviso: I speak MOST excellently well! And fish don’t have flippers. They have fins.

      • 202 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 22:09

        But your fins are so well-developed I’m sure they count as flippers…my little Fishly-Fish! And you’re right – you speak so beautifully. Why not practice by whispering the meaning of the mysterious letter ‘J’ to me – it could be our first secret together…

    • 203 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:36

      With womenly women, or Mr. R’s Ladies? There is a difference, I think.

      I just wanted to stir the soup! Wasn’t it horribly intelligent of me?

      Schwarz is a dead brain and you know it!

      • 204 FictionFan March 4, 2014 at 22:19

        I think he’s wasted on those simpering creatures – the man clearly has the soul of a poet.

        Horribly! And I agree – Twain may have been gramatically correct but ‘her’ would have been more romantic.

        Poor Professor! Sooooo jealous! And even though he keeps trying to make my Schwarzy look like a lame-brain, Schwarzy’s charm and insight just shine through…

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:23

        I think you might be meaner to him than the Ladies are!

        Or ‘him’ would have been of interest.

        Schwarz is a man of extremes.

      • 206 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 02:05

        No, I save all my meanness for the Professor…

        Hmm…but it’s much harder work to find all those things in men.

        I know! Extremely cute and extremely adorable!

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:11

        How horrid. I like you when you’re sweet.

        It is not, dadblameit!

        And extremely s—

      • 208 FictionFan March 5, 2014 at 18:53

        I’ll go back to being sweet then – be prepared to blush!

        Well, obviously not the Professor – I meant ordinary men…

        Swift? Silent? Strong? Simple? Superior? Definitely not stupid…sweet?

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:22

        I won’t! It’s impossible for you to make me do.

        That’s true: I’m not at all ordinary. Not even extraordinary.

        Simple?

      • 210 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 02:09

        We’ll see…

        Supra-ordinary.

        Simply wonderful. Simply sweet. Simply scintillating. (Just like the Professor.)

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:43

        :lol: It won’t work! I’ve got a heart of steal…wait, I’ve got no heart at all!

      • 212 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 15:23

        Hah! You can’t fool me – I know you’re just a big softie underneath that tough warrior-like exterior…

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 19:07

        I may bristle if you continue to say such things. Hector wasn’t a softie.

      • 214 FictionFan March 6, 2014 at 23:31

        Ooh, then you’d look like a fretful porpentine. A cuddly FP – how odd!

        No indeed! He has to be pretty tough to talk to an army without his skirt on!!

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:58

        What is an FP? Is Propentine supposed to be porcupine? Goodness.

        :lol: You’re…mean!

      • 216 FictionFan March 7, 2014 at 18:28

        A Fretful Porpentine! I don’t know – ask Shakespeare, o timeless one!

        :lol:

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 21:18

        You ask him!

      • 218 FictionFan March 9, 2014 at 18:30

        But I can’t time travel!

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke March 9, 2014 at 21:55

        Well…well…dadblameit!

  11. 220 ladycheetah7 March 4, 2014 at 14:05

    Quite observant of you PVJ. I must say I like how you interjected from the arm chair. Seems quite professorish of you and whether or not you intended to present Mr. R in this light….hmmmm. Dunno, but I must give you a high five for the unintended consequence of your statement. And you cut him off. I am impressed!

    :-)

    • 221 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 15:10

      What the Lady said…. :D

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:38

        Oh dear! :)

      • 223 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 15:49

        :D

    • 224 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:35

      :D I must admit, I was a bit annoyed by his going on so…so, I misconstrued his quote, but he deserved it. The Ladies were quite angry with me afterwards. It was professorish, huh? :D

      • 225 ladycheetah7 March 4, 2014 at 22:32

        Quite!

      • 226 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:29

        I’m surprised you didn’t feel bad for Mr. R.

      • 227 ladycheetah7 March 5, 2014 at 14:23

        I’m not. Lol!

      • 228 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:14

        I don’t see why. Do you like the Ladies?

      • 229 ladycheetah7 March 5, 2014 at 16:33

        Nope!

      • 230 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:13

        No? Why not, madam?

      • 231 ladycheetah7 March 5, 2014 at 22:20

        They are too silly and strike me as the kind of women who suppose others are beneath them because they are not apart of their clique when in fact they are probably obnoxious and slovenly in appearance.

      • 232 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 13:36

        That’s exactly what they think! You know, they’re rude to the professor every so often, too.

      • 233 ladycheetah7 March 6, 2014 at 13:51

        Well then, if they are rude then your comment/observation served them right. Should you be the one to give them a dose of reality? I find that Mr. R does them injustice by flattering them.

      • 234 Professor VJ Duke March 6, 2014 at 18:52

        Well, ultimately it should come from Mr. R, don’t you think?

      • 235 ladycheetah7 March 6, 2014 at 19:31

        I don’t think so because he reinforces bad behavior and is more interested in their dysfunction than their well being.

      • 236 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:34

        That’s a good point. Well this professor isn’t going to do it! Perhaps you should?

      • 237 ladycheetah7 March 7, 2014 at 16:12

        Not I said the fly.

      • 238 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 20:58

        But why wouldn’t the fly?

      • 239 ladycheetah7 March 7, 2014 at 21:30

        Because the fly is smart grasshopper.

      • 240 Professor VJ Duke March 8, 2014 at 20:35

        :lol: The professor is bee, then.

  12. 241 Susan P March 4, 2014 at 13:41

    I thought you liked Mr. Ratherquite and here you went and made him look like a fool! Or did he do that to himself? And I don’t believe for a minute that you were reading in that chair – more like nodding off in front of the fireplace. Not to mention that the “it” was referring to “type” not woman. Alas! What a mix up.

    • 242 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:24

      The professor? I suppose I do a bit. Did I tell you that I liked him? I could have–but I do forget.

      The professor wasn’t nodding off! I’m old, but not that old. I was reading…a great novel.

      I know that, but you see, I had to torture Mr. R a bit. His Ladies get indignant about such things. So I misconstrued the meaning and there you go. Aren’t you proud of me?

      • 243 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 01:40

        I believe you might have said something to the effect that he is a well-meaning fellow.

        Babies nod off, too. There was no ageism in my remark. ;)

        Laughing! Proud of you? Possibly. Amazed by your craftiness, most certainly.

      • 244 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 15:59

        You’re not supposed to remember details that the professor can’t, dadblameit!

        :lol: Not professorish babies!

        You think I’m usually dull? :)

      • 245 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 16:01

        Heavens to Mergatroid, Professor. You? Dull? Au contraire.

      • 246 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 16:20

        Have to be a bit dull… (I’m interested in this Mergatroid. Is it a robot? Or a woman?)

      • 247 Susan P March 5, 2014 at 20:16

        I think the cowardly lion may have started it.

      • 248 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 21:37

        From The Wizard of Oz? Haha.

      • 249 Susan P March 6, 2014 at 19:57

        Yes, he did say that in the movie. And then there was Snagglpus.

      • 250 Professor VJ Duke March 7, 2014 at 13:52

        They were missing a few swordfights.

      • 251 Susan P March 7, 2014 at 16:44

        :D

  13. 252 PorterGirl March 4, 2014 at 13:36

    Fabulous powers of observations by the Professor, there. It almost seemed that Mr Ratherquite was approaching something close to charming for a moment. Until you jumped in to clear up the point completely! Wonderful. It is still a rather nice quote in its own way, though.

    • 253 Professor VJ Duke March 4, 2014 at 19:22

      It is. Mr. Mark Twain is good with that sort of stuff.

      But, Lucy, I feel I should say that Mr. R meant completely as a compliment. This professor took it that way just to stir the soup. Was it wicked?

      • 254 PorterGirl March 4, 2014 at 21:46

        Ha! Maybe a little! But a little wickedness is a wonderful thing ;)

      • 255 Professor VJ Duke March 5, 2014 at 00:21

        It is! That’s what makes DS so great.


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