Ripping Book Review—The Incredible Journey

WARNING: Ripping Book Reviews are solely the judgments of Professor VJ Duke on an unlucky book that has caused him much repulsion—in one way or another. Therefore, blame must be put on the author and nobody else. With that in mind, read on—if you are brave enough to take it.

THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY by SHEILA BURNFORD

The professor must say something:

I have been begged (by a devilishly, wicked mood) to rip a book again.

Not to rip literally, of course.

Just the way that hurts the most.

Onward, then!

The title vexes this professor. But maybe it doesn’t. I mean, after all, it is an incredible journey.

Three animals (not vicious ones, either) trek through the Canadian Wilderness and survive to tell the tale.

I stand corrected.

The animals didn’t tell the tale.

The author did.

My mistake was in assuming the Labrador retriever wrote it. In truth, it seemed like something a Labrador would write.

In the way beginning of the book—before the dadblamery starts—there’s a little inscription. I shan’t quote the whole thing since it would vex me unbelievably.

But, I’ll quote a bit:

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contain’d…They do not sweat or whine…

I suppose that’s true. They only pant and make that funny whistle noise through their nose that I’d always imagined was whining. (A dog, that is. Other animals have other interesting attributes.)

Maybe the professor is wrong.

…not one is demented with the mania of owning things…

That’s true. Usually when possessed, an animal will just take what it wants.

Perhaps we should learn from this.

Not one kneels to another…

Not literally, of course not. But in other ways, it happens.

An alpha male in a wolf pack, for instance.

Enough of that dadblamery!

So, three animals set off on a journey. Two dogs and a cat, that is.

After a bit, bits, and little bits, the cat is separated from the dogs, and chased by a bobcat!

To this day the professor wonders why the cat didn’t try and talk the bobcat into peace.

This is what I would have said to the bobcat:

“Now, sir, be an animal. Be placid and self-contain’d, please!”

That cat should have at least tried.

I doubt it would have worked, though.

Which is a wonder.

So, eventually all three animals make it home.

I forgot to mention that the two dogs fight off a female bear who was protecting its cubs. It was a brave moment.

An odd moment.

A downright stupid moment.

The professor actually has a hard time deciding if the moment was duller for the author or the dogs.

Let’s go with the author.

Once home, the animals are happy, I think. Self-contained and placid finally, I’d say. It’s wonder they traveled away in the first place. Must’ve been unhappy. Un-placid, that is, too.

All that work just to get back to their owners.

Well, at least, they didn’t bow when they got there.

They didn’t have to: It was done as they traveled across the Canadian Wilderness.

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224 Responses to “Ripping Book Review—The Incredible Journey”


  1. 1 British Chick March 24, 2014 at 04:14

    I forget…why is it that the animals were lost to begin with? didn’t their owners move and abandon them?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:41

      I think they went on vacation. Wasn’t very nice of them was it?

      • 3 British Chick March 24, 2014 at 15:13

        Nope – someone should have called the services – silly animals for going back for more

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:42

        I do think the owners were coming back…

      • 5 British Chick March 24, 2014 at 23:46

        Nah – that’s what they all say lol

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 02:06

        So, they were being wicked about it?

      • 7 British Chick March 25, 2014 at 02:29

        yeah, puppies are a handful, that dog was well past it’s day…. and who likes cats anyway…….? (joking)

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:29

        lol Very true. The dog was past its day. But what happens when the professor is?

      • 9 British Chick March 25, 2014 at 17:57

        He gets sent to the farm?

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:49

        What would I do there?

      • 11 British Chick March 25, 2014 at 20:29

        Run free and chase chickens?

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:07

        And chop their heads off?

      • 13 British Chick March 26, 2014 at 02:31

        yeah why not lol

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:16

        Haha…I probably wouldn’t be able to catch one. You’d have to get them for me.

  2. 15 bardictale March 19, 2014 at 11:33

    Animals don’t whine, beg, kneel or try to possess things…did he ever meet a dog?

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 14:10

      That’s what I was thinking, Bard! What’s up with that?

      • 17 bardictale March 19, 2014 at 14:27

        Dunno. He’s like the people who talk about kids’ abilities to know what’s safe when they don’t have kids/ live with them.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:19

        Yes, that’s quite right. Wonder why he was so infatuated with animals, then. Perhaps he was crazy?

      • 19 bardictale March 20, 2014 at 04:42

        Don’t think so. Even though we’re all crazy in some level.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 12:24

        That’s true. I think the professor is crazier than crazy.

  3. 21 Jackie March 19, 2014 at 09:45

    Sounds awful! I will not be putting this on my reading list.

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 14:09

      I think it’s more for kids…only the professor would find it, you know. You should have saved me from it. :D

      • 23 Jackie March 19, 2014 at 14:23

        I have never heard of the book till now – how could I have saved you?!

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:18

        Oh, I don’t know. I was just being wicked. I do apologize! It’s dadblamery, Jackie.

  4. 25 lifeconfusions March 18, 2014 at 21:16

    Well you ripped that book right off Professor !
    Time to check this book off the list ! :D

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:10

      :D Many thanks! Yes, yes, get it off the list. What others should be ripped, would you say?

      • 27 lifeconfusions March 19, 2014 at 17:02

        Actually its thanks to YOU because you saved some precious time of my life ! :D
        And Ummm, Although I have read many books but not the philosophical or literature type. But If I had to suggest you to rip some book it would definitely, hands down, without any doubt be 50 Shades of Grey !

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:39

        Well, my pleasure, then! Ooo, never read that. Did you?

      • 29 lifeconfusions March 20, 2014 at 11:56

        Yes…and I regret wasting my time on that piece of shit.
        It has no story whatsoever…

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 12:25

        You know, I’d bet it doesn’t. Did you rip it?

      • 31 lifeconfusions March 20, 2014 at 12:27

        Literally? No, because I was reading it on laptop, In My Head? Yes, A million times !

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 22:12

        I’m not sure the professor could ever put up with reading it!

      • 33 lifeconfusions March 21, 2014 at 13:42

        Even just the first few pages would be enough for you to rip it ! Its just that bad !

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 17:26

        It’s that bad, huh? Must be huff-humerery!

      • 35 lifeconfusions March 21, 2014 at 17:28

        Huff-humerery? Sounds like a professorish word ! :P

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 17:37

        Haha, it is! Isn’t it rather swell?

      • 37 lifeconfusions March 21, 2014 at 17:40

        Yes, What does it mean then? :)

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2014 at 00:56

        Well, it means nonsense?

  5. 39 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 18, 2014 at 19:30

    The cat did not talk the bobcat into peace, because the bobcat is high maintenance. The really good looking cats usually are, which is why normal cats just try to ignore them. :)

    I did love reading this rip, Duketh! You do them so very well. I think, I’d actually quite like reading this one.

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:09

      That’s a good point. I wonder how a tiger would have treated the matter. You know, the ape from the lion king would have been mean, too.

      The book?

      • 41 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 19, 2014 at 01:15

        The tiger would have owned him, for sure. Do you think so?

        Yes, the book. :lol:

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 14:02

        Definitely. I like tigers.

        I’m impressed! Well, enjoy it. But don’t end up liking it!

      • 43 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 19, 2014 at 15:39

        I happen to have a tigress living inside of me. She is often told to quiet down and be good.

        Don’t be impressed!

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:22

        Haha, now that’s cool. But there’s those cool times where you let her out, huh?

        Depressed?

      • 45 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 20, 2014 at 01:58

        Yes, I like allowing her out. :lol: She really is much more fun.

        NO..please…go back to being impressed.
        :) Be very, very impressed.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 12:17

        And wicked. And that’s good. I think the professor wishes he had a bear inside him.

        Haha! Okay, Audith. Thank you. Depression is dadblamery!

      • 47 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 20, 2014 at 13:33

        Thank you, I do appreciate your encouragement, Duketh. I think you do have a bear inside if you. You call me out on my dadblamery and for that I am truly thankful. And worried because a bear could easily kill a tigress. :lol:

        :lol: Tru dat, professor.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 22:18

        And I yours, Audith. It truly means a lot. Yes, I try to call myself out on my dadblamery, too. (The professor gets depressed sometimes, but I fight it with my katana!) *smile* Yes, bears are bigger–and cooler!!!

      • 49 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 20, 2014 at 23:57

        (See! This is why I need a katana lesson.)
        :lol: Quick to agree, Duketh!!! Hey!

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 02:31

        (Yes, I suppose I must teach you!) The professor can be agreeable.

      • 51 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 21, 2014 at 02:42

        You must especially so I can guard my poems.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 02:50

        Okay…it’s definitely important enough.

      • 53 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 21, 2014 at 03:04

        Yes!

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 17:14

        We’ll have to schedule.

      • 55 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 21, 2014 at 19:29

        If you’ve never had a lesson, Duke, how do you plan on teaching me to fight with a sword? I mean I think I could be taking quite the risk… *fear*

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2014 at 01:00

        I told you the professor would probably end up teaching you how to kill yourself!

      • 57 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 22, 2014 at 02:49

        You meant that??!!!! I just thought it was more of a self preservation thing…. you know, learn how to kill in order to stay alive…

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:01

        I actually like that sound of that better… *laughing*

      • 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 24, 2014 at 15:39

        And now I have doubts that you can teach me…lol. You should have quit while you were ahead. *laughing lots*

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:43

        Huff-Humerery!

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 24, 2014 at 21:31

        You did it to yourself….hahaha. *just try to wipe this smile off my face* It is so easy to tease you.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:56

        No winks, no nods, and five astroids!

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2014 at 03:43

        You’ve ended me…I’m so glad I had your pipe. One last sweet taste of victory…

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:42

        I thought you gave me that back!

      • 65 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2014 at 14:01

        No…I sensed you blowing me up and grabbed my only weapon, as of late. You failed to notice. ..or did you? ;)

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:38

        I have! I’ve been searching for it. I’ll just by 500 more.

      • 67 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2014 at 20:39

        ……not worried about Audith….just his new pipes…..I’m nothing but ash now. …..

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:11

        No, no! Audith is a family member! Better than any pipe *throws all the pipes in a drawer*

      • 69 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 26, 2014 at 00:39

        LOL!! I’m thankful for that, Duketh. *slowly walks over and sweetly picks out the red one for you.*

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:11

        That is sweet–but I bet you have ulterior motives!

      • 71 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 26, 2014 at 23:37

        LOL Hey! Who’s writing my lines?? Me or you, Duketh! *puts her finger in her ponytail and starts twirling it* Maybe….

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:20

        I didn’t know you had a ponytail!

      • 73 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 27, 2014 at 17:37

        I do!

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:32

        I like that–for some strange professorish reason…

      • 75 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 28, 2014 at 02:18

        :) There is nothing strange or professorish about it…You, Duketh, like my ponytail.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:29

        I do…I’m sure it swings violently.

      • 77 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 29, 2014 at 12:58

        Well it can, but only if I’m running. Oh, and when I’m shaking my head in contempt, singing, walking, dancing, cooking…all sorts of activities, actually. :D

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:10

        So it happens all the time! *the professor shakes his head, but nothing happens*

      • 79 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2014 at 15:07

        Yes..I think it does, but only if it is up.
        Did you get your hair cut?

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:41

        But how can it be up? I did not!

      • 81 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2014 at 22:09

        Well when it is in a ponytail, I guess.
        *oh!*

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:25

        Oh is right!

      • 83 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 04:05

        Or wrong.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:04

        Ooo, yeah, yeah. *singing Kashmir to hiself*

      • 85 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 20:17

        *hmmmm, must go check that out…be right back*

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:33

        Oh dear! *laughing*

      • 87 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 2, 2014 at 20:09

        I knew that song…just didn’t know that twas its name. *wonders about you singing it*

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:13

        A perfect R. Plant is this professor!

      • 89 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 3, 2014 at 02:38

        Really? Well that is a bit of interest, but it really doesn’t help.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:09

        Why not?

      • 91 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 02:05

        What does that mean, Duke?

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 02:13

        Well, the professor might–MIGHT–be able to mimic rather well…

      • 93 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 02:40

        This I have gathered, if truth be told, but you can mimic Plant, well? I have always envied that ability.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 13:22

        Me too. I think Helen of Troy possessed it to perfection. I can’t do it perfectly. Only with some people. Plant? Maybe! *smiles big and grabs the pillow*

      • 95 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 15:43

        She may have…interesting. I think that is how it usually goes, right. Maybe means yes… *laughs* *hates the pillow for hiding everything*

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:57

        *burns the pillow*

      • 97 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 19:54

        NO!!!! Now what? I loved that pillow…

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 12:57

        I think it died…

      • 99 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 7, 2014 at 15:38

        :(

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:22

        But I’ll get a new one! A red one!

      • 101 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 8, 2014 at 02:13

        Red, yes. Always red, Duke.

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 02:14

        Always!

      • 103 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 8, 2014 at 02:26

        :)

  6. 104 weggieboy March 18, 2014 at 18:57

    My cats, I assure you, know how to go into a low grade whine when they want something!

    One gets whiney, though, then acts like I’m crazy when I try to figure out what he’s trying to tell me…

    “Timmy fall down the well, again, Andy? What’s up, boy!? TELL ME! TELL ME!”

    He never does, but I swear he has a smile on his lips!

    • 105 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:05

      :lol: Very interesting. I thought this was the case for animals. I’m sure Dougy complains at times, too.

  7. 106 technophile9 March 18, 2014 at 17:56

    I’ve never heard of ‘The Incredible Journey’ before, but this was still a great rip. :D Surely the dogs would chase the cat?

    • 107 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:01

      You would think so, huh? They sort of protected the cat. Kinda weird, huh?

  8. 108 FictionFan March 18, 2014 at 15:42

    Lovely rip, C-W-W!! (How I love your rips, when you’re not ripping a book I love… ;) )

    This book does sound like it should have been called Incredible Dadblamery. Placid and self contain’d? Tell that to Tuppence when she’s on the rampage! Not demented with the mania of owning things? Clearly the author has never tried to take a catnip toy away from Tommy mid-drool! And every animal bows to Tuppence – or else! No wonder you were gardoobled! Animal books should be banned anyway – they only exist to make FF cry. You have my permission to take the katana to this one…

    • 109 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 17:06

      :D I thought you might like this one. (I’ll just have to check all the books by you, first.)

      :lol: That would have been a perfect title. You know, Tuppence definitely doesn’t strike me as the kind of cat that’s placid. I was gardoobled! (Lovely use of PA.)

      Well, I think you would have cried had you read this–for a completely different reasons. Did you know, the professor shed some tears?

      • 110 FictionFan March 18, 2014 at 17:25

        (That’s a great idea! Should cut the pouting down to a minimum… ;) )

        Placid is not one of the words that most readily springs to mind re Tuppence – Vicious and Jealous are though…

        Did you? Yes, I think it may have reduced me to sobbing too – or possibly wailing and gnashing of teeth. The cat should have fought the bear, anyway – cats are much tougher than dogs!

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 23:59

        Do you pout a lot, FEF?

        Yes, a typical lady-cat!

        The cat was the smartest of the lot–which still doesn’t say much, you know!

      • 112 FictionFan March 19, 2014 at 01:34

        Only the correct amount required to cover the given circumstances… ;)

        Hmm…I’m not sure Tuppence is a lady…

        Indeed not! Even men are smarter than dogs!

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 14:08

        You shouldn’t be pouty to the sweet professor…

        That’s a good point… :lol: Are you, FEF?

        I’ll take that as a compliment. But I think the professor is lesser in intelligence than all the groups.

      • 114 FictionFan March 19, 2014 at 15:46

        I’m never pouty to the Professor when he’s sweet…

        You really shouldn’t need to ask… ;)

        Poor Professor! (Have you been missing your self-esteem classes recently?) I bet you’re more intelligent than the worms – how else could you ever catch them?

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:28

        Am I always sweet?

        That’s true. How silly of me.

        Hahaha. I’m laughing in spite of myself, FEF!

      • 116 FictionFan March 20, 2014 at 17:21

        Most of the time…when you’re not being wicked…or grumpy…or pouty…hmm! Who does that remind me of?

        Very silly!

        See, normally I’d put a smiley there, but now I’m at a complete loss. My ability to communicate has been destroyed…ruined! It’s a catastrophe! I may have to go on a silent retreat… (don’t you dare be pleased at that idea!)

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 22:48

        Who? FEF?

        Sillier than me!

        Believe it or not, I actually like the more words! Much better than a smiley. I like having speaks with FEF. Please don’t go! (When you leave, it makes me sad, you know.)

      • 118 FictionFan March 21, 2014 at 14:21

        Who? Me?

        I think that falls outwith the known laws of physics.

        I like having speaks with C-W-W too! *great big grin*. (Aww, you’re the sweetest Professor I know! But I didn’t leave – I just had to deal with some yucketh real-life stuff for a few days, reducing my ability to come up with cheery chit-chat. I did give advance warning…)

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 17:35

        Yes, you!

        Probably right… *laughing*

        *great bigger grin* (Oh, I understand about that! Hope all’s well. I meant no pouting–which I can’t even remember you doing. *laughing* Warnings? You know I never listen to warnings!)

      • 120 FictionFan March 21, 2014 at 19:54

        (Yes, all’s well, thanks! I only pout when you rip Ms Austen, I think…or deny me access to my Schwarzy…or…well, I’ll let you know when it happens… *winks adorably*)

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2014 at 01:10

        Winds adorably…*lovely sound*

      • 122 FictionFan March 23, 2014 at 15:28

        Beats Cheeky Chicky over head with his own femur… *satisfied face*

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:39

        How could that possibly be satisfying?

      • 124 FictionFan March 24, 2014 at 15:56

        *smiles enigmatically while raising one quizzical eyebrow*

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:50

        All quizzical eyebrows should be singed!

      • 126 FictionFan March 24, 2014 at 22:18

        The Professor wishes to set fire to FF’s face?!?!?!?

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:59

        No, only the eyebrows!

      • 128 FictionFan March 25, 2014 at 14:11

        But…but…I usually keep them on my face…

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:41

        What a silly thing to do. They’re on your head!

      • 130 FictionFan March 25, 2014 at 22:46

        Well…but so’s my face. Does the Professor keep his face somewhere else? On his knee, perhaps? Or his elbow? Either must make conversation…interesting…

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:24

        Okay, fine. I’d never do such mean Twainish things to you, because…well…because I like you way too much!

      • 132 FictionFan March 26, 2014 at 14:39

        Awwwwww! See? I knew there was sweetness hidden somewhere under all that wickedness… :bear:

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:33

        :bear: Now I do like that smiley. I wonder what they mean by it. Yes, I suppose I’m too sweet!

      • 134 FictionFan March 26, 2014 at 22:57

        Just sweet enough – like chocolate fudge cake!

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:14

        Strawberry cake is better.

      • 136 FictionFan March 27, 2014 at 18:31

        ‘Tisn’t!

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:41

        FEF is a chocolate girl through and through!

      • 138 FictionFan March 28, 2014 at 02:31

        How did you know?

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:35

        It has dawned on me slowly…

      • 140 FictionFan March 28, 2014 at 23:30

        *chuckling*

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 11:54

        *smiles*

    • 142 deanthefish March 18, 2014 at 19:46

      As a general rule… perhaps. But not all: poor B*b!

      • 143 FictionFan March 18, 2014 at 20:36

        Dear Fishy, please don’t joke with me about Bob – I’m sure it’s not your intention, but it upsets me (because secretly I’m just a big softie, but don’t tell anyone). :(

        Anyway shouldn’t you be working on coming up with some amazing space music or something?

    • 144 deanthefish March 18, 2014 at 21:56

      Well… what shall I joke about then?

      • 145 FictionFan March 18, 2014 at 23:05

        American sports? They always make me laugh…

    • 146 deanthefish March 19, 2014 at 00:36

      Hey… are you knocking this great country? Are you saying something bad about America??

      • 147 FictionFan March 19, 2014 at 01:35

        No, no, of course not! We’re just envious of the shoulder pads…

    • 148 deanthefish March 19, 2014 at 12:39

      Oh… I could probably get you a pair.

      • 149 FictionFan March 19, 2014 at 15:56

        That would be lovely – then I could look just like an ’80s soap-star!

    • 150 deanthefish March 20, 2014 at 04:11

      Just write me your address and I’ll send’m right over.

      The Fish

      • 151 FictionFan March 20, 2014 at 17:22

        Thanks! FictionFan, Just Outside the Greatest City in the Universe, Scotland, Centre of the World. That should get here OK.

    • 152 deanthefish March 20, 2014 at 18:31

      It sounds like these shoulder pads are going to be embarking on their own greatest journey. Tell me when you get them, they’re off!

      • 153 FictionFan March 20, 2014 at 20:33

        Woohoo! I hope they don’t get attacked by bears on the journey…

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 22:53

        The Professor won’t attack. I promise.

      • 155 FictionFan March 21, 2014 at 14:14

        Is the Professor a bear then? :bear:

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 17:32

        *laughing* Not a teddy bear!

      • 157 FictionFan March 21, 2014 at 19:49

        (Bet you are!)

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke March 22, 2014 at 01:09

        (Bet he’s not!)

    • 159 deanthefish March 21, 2014 at 00:09

      Yes, or lionesses.

  9. 160 Simply Skeptical March 18, 2014 at 14:58

    Obviously the author was not a pet owner or animal expert. Hmm… wonder what ever prompted a writing on such topic huh? Probably had some deep rooted fear of the fuzzy furries…

    • 161 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 17:04

      Yes, that could definitely be it. Or the author was just trying to see how many people could be fooled.

  10. 162 TheCrazyBagLady March 18, 2014 at 14:29

    haha I think the rip is worth reading more than the book

    • 163 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 17:02

      I’m honored! Thank you. You mean you wouldn’t read the book now?

      • 164 TheCrazyBagLady March 18, 2014 at 17:55

        of course not!

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:01

        That’s good. It’s real dadblamery!

  11. 166 walt walker March 18, 2014 at 14:06

    Way to rip, Old Sport! Loved it.

    • 167 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 17:02

      :D Thanks, Walt. Now you should read it. ;)

  12. 168 Debbie March 18, 2014 at 14:04

    Well done, Professor! Although I didn’t read this tome, I’m familiar with its storyline and have to agree with you. Placid? Has anybody ever seen a Sheltie when a squirrel is in its yard?? Definitely NOT placid! And about that whining thing — perhaps this author never tried to eat cookies in front of a Sheltie either! In short, I’ll bet the Labrador could’ve told the tale better!

    • 169 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 17:02

      Thank you, Debbie!

      :lol: That’s definitely it. The Labrador would have done better. I do wonder what the author was thinking…

  13. 170 ladycheetah7 March 18, 2014 at 13:40

    I was about to ask you yesterday about the ripping. Thank you. Such a wonderful rip. One more book to not read.
    I haven’t seen the movie and by the likes of this book I think I would have cried if I purchased it and couldn’t get past the first few pages of chapter one. Seems uninspiring and dull but as always your rips seemingly make the book more interesting. ..not enough to buy it though…

    • 171 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 17:01

      My pleasure, Lady. The ripping, that is, not the reading.

      If it had ripping points in italics or something it would be worth a read, I think. You’re not going to get it, are you?

      • 172 ladycheetah7 March 18, 2014 at 17:05

        I am not. I have a goal to read 12 books by year end (one book per month) and I am in book #3 now.

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 17:10

        You don’t have time to waste, then! What are you reading?

      • 174 ladycheetah7 March 18, 2014 at 17:30

        The Sixth Man by David Baldacci. A fiction piece; FBI, murder, and suspense.

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:00

        I’ve been wanting to get a Baldacci. You’ll have to tell me if you like him.

      • 176 ladycheetah7 March 19, 2014 at 13:02

        He’s good. I like Steve Perry’s novels better because he focuses on one central character. What is different about Baldacci is he has a variety of characters. The last two books Deliver Us From Evil and The Sixth Man were pretty good. Better than Hell’s Corner. If you are into that kind of stuff (fiction, FBI, etc.)

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 14:11

        I actually am. I know it doesn’t seem that way by what I write, but the professor is the opposite of himself. Doesn’t that make sense?

      • 178 ladycheetah7 March 19, 2014 at 17:15

        I understand that. I am heavily into readings about business, management, and leadership but as an escapism I like reading fiction so it makes perfect sense.

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:46

        Thank you, Lady. The professor is an odd chap. I”m glad it made sense.

  14. 180 L. Marie March 18, 2014 at 13:33

    I’ve never read the book, but like others saw the movie. At least you made it through the book! That’s an incredible journey, huh?

    • 181 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 16:59

      :lol: It was! But the ripping was needed.

  15. 182 Susan P March 18, 2014 at 13:18

    Frankly, the book annoyed and bored me. The movie (and I /seldom/ say this) was clearly superior to the book. Animals do have hierarchies, too. Wu was definitely the alpha male dog, and Baby Doll was the alpha female cat.

    • 183 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 16:58

      Exactly. They do have hierarchies. So what do you make of that dadblamery at the beginning?

  16. 184 Julie Harris March 18, 2014 at 13:15

    I have not heard of this book before… thanks for your ripping review :) Quite unique to review a book that repulsed you!

    • 185 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 16:58

      It’s a professor thing, wouldn’t you say? :) Sometimes I just need to vent, you know.

      • 186 Julie Harris March 18, 2014 at 21:13

        Yes, we all need to vent every once in a while :) You should make your Ripping Book Reviews a regular occurrence on here!

      • 187 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:10

        Really? But what should be done next?

  17. 188 Bethy March 18, 2014 at 13:04

    I do think that this was one book where I enjoyed the movie better. There are a lot of words in that book and to add to the dadblamery it’s a crying book and that’s not okay with me…unless I already wanted to cry and wanted something concrete to blame.

    • 189 Bethy March 18, 2014 at 13:05

      Let me specify: The 1993 remake of the movie not the original.

      • 190 Susan P March 18, 2014 at 13:18

        Meeeeeeeeeeeee tooooooooooooooo.

      • 191 Bethy March 18, 2014 at 13:40

        :D

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 16:58

        Oh, the first one wasn’t that bad!

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 16:57

        I’ve only seen the original. They speak in the remake, right?

      • 194 Bethy March 18, 2014 at 18:31

        YES! And it’s funny. Of course most everything we’ve been watching recently has to have a laugh in it. If it doesn’t make us laugh there’s no point in trying to erase the icky parts of the week by watching it.

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:03

        I so agree, Bethy. The professor loves to laugh. Have you seen How To Train Your Dragon?

    • 196 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 16:57

      But why’s it a crying book? I think all the animals live, don’t they?

      • 197 Bethy March 18, 2014 at 18:29

        But they get hurt! And there’s all the drama about them coming home…I haven’t read it in ages and ages so maybe it was more emotional when I was younger.

      • 198 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:02

        It would have been neat if the bear had chomped off one of the dog’s legs. Don’t you think so?

  18. 199 PorterGirl March 18, 2014 at 13:01

    I love the premise of writing about a book that has annoyed you – sooo much more fun (in many ways) that writing about books you like. I have seen the film of this (from the early 80s, I think) and it was hideous. What are the dogs up to interrupting a bear and her cubs anyway? And it’s not even that ‘Incredible’. It’s just a journey. This has cheered my day!

    • 200 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 16:56

      I agree, Lucy! The professor used to do a bunch of these back in the early blogging days. Isn’t the movie dreadfully boring?

      • 201 PorterGirl March 18, 2014 at 17:51

        Yes indeed it is. You should do more, some books really deserve a good ripping and you do it so well!

      • 202 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:01

        Thank you! Which books, would you say?

      • 203 PorterGirl March 19, 2014 at 13:02

        I know it is a sacrilege, but I can’t stand Tess Of The D’Urbervilles. Shakespear always gets my back up, too, although I appreciate they are plays

      • 204 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 14:10

        I agree, Lucy! So good to hear about Shakespear. We should both rip him one day… Now, what’s the other thing?

      • 205 PorterGirl March 19, 2014 at 14:15

        A double ripping of Shakespear, I like it! We should definitely do that :) Tess Of The D’urbervilles is a Thomas Hardy novel about a poor rural family with an irritating daughter (Tess) who kills a horse (sort of) and chases young men. It annoys me, quite frankly.

      • 206 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:17

        :lol: Now that does sound like an annoying book, Lucy! Let’s rip that and Shake together! One huge one.

      • 207 PorterGirl March 20, 2014 at 12:25

        Super! I shall drop you a line with some Shakespear suggestions :) Give me a day or two, I am a little tied up with Episode Five at this very moment. This will be such fun!

      • 208 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 22:11

        Sounds great. Episode 5…a vid?

      • 209 PorterGirl March 21, 2014 at 12:40

        Yep! With a new character!

      • 210 Professor VJ Duke March 21, 2014 at 17:20

        Sweet!

  19. 211 Jessica Scott March 18, 2014 at 13:00

    You know, Professor, I wasn’t much into the movie, either. Which is odd for me because, I mean, 2 dogs and a cat fighting off a bear is just so believable, you know?
    But, there was this one time when my parents took our dog, Wheeler, and our cat, Mark, and left them far away from our house. One week after they did that, the cat and dog returned back to us. They were under my bedroom window and scratching at the wood underneath it so I’d let them in. It was definitely incredible. 😊

    • 212 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 16:55

      Yes! Now that is definitely an interesting story. And incredible. Did they come back together?

      • 213 Jessica Scott March 18, 2014 at 17:36

        Yes, they did. Wheeler was a white German Shepherd/Retriever mix with blue eyes and Mark the Cat was all black with yellow eyes. They were my pets which is why they came to my window. I imagine Wheeler telling Mark “Come on! Your claws are killing my back. Scratch at the window already!” and Mark replying “I would if you’d hold still, dragon breath.” :-D

      • 214 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 00:00

        :lol: That’s such a nice tale. I hope you kept them. I can picture the cat on the dog’s back, too.

      • 215 Jessica Scott March 19, 2014 at 00:16

        We did keep them. But it ended up not being for long. Wheeler ended up getting sick and passing away. Once he was gone Mark the cat left and never came back. They were best buds. But I’ve never forgotten them. :-)

      • 216 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 14:01

        That’s such a neatio story. I feel bad for the cat, though. Too bad he left. Did you try and find him?

      • 217 Jessica Scott March 19, 2014 at 14:53

        Lol. He literally went to go live with a family who had a dog down the street. Everything worked out fine. I still got to see him and he was happy, I’m sure. I think he just missed his friend. :-)

      • 218 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:20

        :D I’m sure he did. Were you a bit cranky about it? This professor might have been. My cat somewhere else!

      • 219 Jessica Scott March 19, 2014 at 22:33

        I was at first but since he was just down the street from us and an outside cat I still got to see him. At least until the family moved. But by then we had a new cat and another dog. Lol.

      • 220 Professor VJ Duke March 19, 2014 at 22:51

        Well, then it all worked out. It is an interesting story.

      • 221 Jessica Scott March 19, 2014 at 22:52

        Just a memory. I was about 14 I think.

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke March 20, 2014 at 00:45

        The professor loves memories. :)

  20. 223 Simply Skeptical March 18, 2014 at 12:46

    Hee, hee, hee….I love the way you explain the behavior of those placid pets around us. Hmm… mine aren’t all that placid – really. But your depiction of it all clears much up in such a professorish way…as usual :-)

    • 224 Professor VJ Duke March 18, 2014 at 12:47

      You know, I didn’t find pet placid usually either. What do you suppose that foreword was all about? It befuddled my mind, you know.


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