PL Times, E27

The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, March 24, 2014
Edition 27
—————————————————————————————————-

Section A. Punchy Proverbs:

All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate—the foremost poet in the PL—unless noted otherwise.

Subject: Perception, Flaws, and Relativity.

(1) Some say perception matters; and it does—when it’s not flawed.

(2) Flaws don’t exist to keep our pride in check; nay, they live to show us pride is impossible.

(3) Relativity is measured by something—otherwise it couldn’t exist.

Favorites, Punchy Family? (The professor doesn’t pick favorites unless he’s mad.)

***

Section B. The professor speaks:

The professor jumped into a tree on Saturday, and I really wish I hadn’t. A sore head is such dadblamery! Tip: Never care about a ball that much.

***

Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:

A short conversation:

BUD PARKER: Hey, bud, I’ve got a question for you.

FATS HENRY: Well, spit it out, Parker!

BUD PARKER: How many watermelons can you eat?

FATS HENRY: Why do you ask?

BUD PARKER: ‘Cause I heard somewhere that if you can eat three whole watermelons, you’re way overweight.

FATS HENRY: I can eat nine!

BUD PARKER [nods]: That’s what I thought, bud. You’re three times overweight.

***

Section D. Breaking News
by J. Freedwoppen

Barkoush Ladan is trying to re-open the silk road. Many think he will fail; many think he will succeed.

King Arthur is attempting to crop his sword, Excalibur. (As it is, the sword is a bit too long.) Mr. Magi and Merlin are trying to stop him.

Jazzy Couldren’s daughter, Billy-Sue, married hacker, Dennis N.

***

Section E. Short note from the Professor:

The Punchy Lands Blog will have 3 to 5 posts a week. Also, some weeks will be a ‘themed’ week. (Like Portugal Week.) Just keeping you informed, Punchy Family, of the professor’s devilish thoughts.

***

Section E. Hearing from the PL Family:

Question from L.Marie: How did Ruber get in the catering business?

Answer: Great question. Interestingly enough, there are not many restaurants in King Arthur’s domain. Ruber opened the catering place to try something new. It was horrible—and unsafe—for years. When Ruber partnered with renowned businessman, Mortimer Butterfield, Ruber’s Catering became one of the nicest places to eat in the Punchy Lands.

~ J. Freedwoppen

PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.

The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)

The PL Times!

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258 Responses to “PL Times, E27”


  1. 1 maryamchahine March 29, 2014 at 08:46

    Proverb #2 – hands down a winner : ) The professor in a tree trying to get a ball. Now that’s funny! The professor gets more interesting every day ; )

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:06

      Oh dear and was it vexing! I went up for the ball and crashed my head. Not fair, is it?

  2. 3 The Dancing Rider March 25, 2014 at 13:39

    Ah, “V.” ;-) Shnodgrate. I think the three proverbs compliment each other nicely. I must say then that I like all three as one. My favorite though is #3, because it is just so …..

    Parker and Henry. If only they could roll into one person, lol. Not really! Parker is just so mean. His math may be correct, but a good slap is due.

    The marriage doesn’t surprise me. But King Arthur? I think he’s just too old and creaky to wield Ex, Of course Mr. Magi won’t let him, but it is Merlin who will really not let him. Two against one there. Hmmm, the Silk Road. Will wait to hear more about that.

    :)

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:50

      #3’s my favorite too! It did confuse me, I must admit. What do you mean about “V”?!

      lol He definitely needs a slap. Do you favor Henry?

      Art shouldn’t wield Ex, you’re right. The professor should!

      • 5 The Dancing Rider March 25, 2014 at 13:53

        V. because you also use V in your name. Just a little joke!

        Oh yes. Henry has to let it fly once at least!

        Definitely the Professor should be obtaining Ex!

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:34

        lol It’s very wicked of you, DR!

        I bet you wouldn’t be surprised to hear he has!

        Yes. And then I should pose with it.

  3. 7 bardictale March 25, 2014 at 10:56

    Three, and if the king is unable to appriciate a beautiful sword, then he can hand it over.
    I’ll get him a dagger instead. Or a pot of tea.

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:45

      That’s my favorite, too. That’s right. Quite right. We should take it from him immediately. You do it, Bard.

      Yes, a pot of tea. He doesn’t deserve a weapon!

      • 9 bardictale March 25, 2014 at 21:13

        Didn’t the professor say that he would be mad to pick a favorite?

        I’d take it, but wouldn’t that be counted as thieving and, well, treason?

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:15

        A favorite what, Bard?

        Nah! He deserves it. Besides, you don’t live under Art, do you?

      • 11 bardictale March 26, 2014 at 04:36

        Proverb.

        No, good point.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:17

        Ah, I think I did say that, didn’t I, Bard?

        :D

  4. 13 Catherine March 25, 2014 at 02:11

    Proverb number one! And will we hear more about that tree incident?
    Wow. Fats Henry really set himself up for that comment. No way it could have been avoided. How did he respond?

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:25

      That’s a great choice, Catherine! Well, sure, if you’d like to. Just ask me a question about it!

      Yes, you know, I think you’re right, Fats Henry did. He just growled.

      • 15 Catherine March 26, 2014 at 01:10

        How did the professor come to care about said ball so much in the first place? And was the tree okay?

        Not a very strong reaction. But I suppose he might have been too busy eating watermelons to do much else!

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:15

        Well, it was a sort of sports game. And I had to catch the ball or lose a point. The ball went up, the professor went up, and just as my hands were closing around the ball–bang! I dropped the ball. The tree was dadblame fine! :)

        I agree!

      • 17 Catherine March 27, 2014 at 03:35

        ‘Tis a sad story. And you lost the point, too, right?

        The tree should apologize, in my opinion, if it was fine and you weren’t! (that’s usually how these things go)

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:21

        Yes, I did. *laughs* Dadblame tree!

        Yes. It should apologize. But it won’t.

      • 19 Catherine March 28, 2014 at 02:38

        That tree. Someone should do something about that.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:36

        I know! But it’s such a beautiful tree… that’s how it gets its power, you see!

      • 21 Catherine March 29, 2014 at 16:18

        Ah. So there’s not much one can do about it, I suppose.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:30

        No, not really. Except grumble! *smiles like the moon*

      • 23 Catherine April 1, 2014 at 01:17

        Grumbling does have a way of making people feel better, though! I’ve done it often enough myself. :)

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:40

        Yes! It’s somewhat fun… *laughs*

      • 25 Catherine April 2, 2014 at 00:32

        It is! Relieves stress, if you can call it that.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:54

        I think I can!

  5. 27 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 01:37

    Ahhhh….now the mystery is solved. You don’t know because your head met a tree and SMACK your brain went flying out your ears. Oh, Professor, I am so sorry you have a sore head. All that table tennis on top of flying into the tree after one of my fast balls …. oh my. Oh dear. *wringing hands* What can I do, Professor? I won’t be mean to you anymore, even if you do cheat.

    And as for the proverbs, they made my eyeballs spin. Do what? *Clunk* I must be tired. My eyes are still spinning ….

    As for the who what’s her name marrying …. fool. Do ya know the divorce rates these days?

    I do like the theme bit. Aha. Yep. Sure do.

    Respectfurly,
    LadyP

    • 28 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 01:37

      ewwwww check out my new hot flamingo pink gravatar. It glows in the dark just like me. Heehehehehehehe

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 02:08

        You do not glow in the dark! The Professor’s eyes do!

      • 30 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 02:16

        I do too glow in the dark! The Professor then must be a wolf! Or a bear! Or a cat?

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:26

        Hmmm…just a warrior!

      • 32 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 17:24

        And I a Princess!

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:48

        Nah!

      • 34 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 20:47

        YAH!

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:12

        HAY!

      • 36 Amy Pinkrose March 26, 2014 at 01:05

        I KNEW you were a horse! Now the proof!

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:14

        There is no proof!

      • 38 Amy Pinkrose March 26, 2014 at 21:05

        OH, yes, I have it! Proof undeniable!

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:10

        You spalpeen!

      • 40 Amy Pinkrose March 27, 2014 at 14:17

        Now now, Professor, is that any way to talk to a Lady? *sadly shaking head*

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:28

        No… *hanges head*

      • 42 Amy Pinkrose March 27, 2014 at 14:43

        You are furgiven. I hold no grudges. (((HUGS))) LAdyP

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:21

        Not even the slightest of ones?

      • 44 Amy Pinkrose March 27, 2014 at 23:32

        Nope, not a t’all. Clean slate and all.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:56

        Well okay, then!

      • 46 Amy Pinkrose March 28, 2014 at 00:08

        NO!

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:24

        Rats and a Heifer!

      • 48 Amy Pinkrose March 27, 2014 at 15:37

        The Professor can in his furgiven state, go see the AWESOME BLACK photo LAdyP posted, then an ORANGE rose, then a MYSTERY. Intrigued? Go see. LOL

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:23

        It sounds like a riddle!

      • 50 Amy Pinkrose March 27, 2014 at 23:34

        Well, gee, if you go see, you would bee. Un-riddled, that is.

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:57

        I will go take a looky.

      • 52 Amy Pinkrose March 28, 2014 at 00:06

        Ok Dokey. I know you have been there already.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:24

        Yes!

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 02:08

      Well, can you make me cherry muffins and tea?

      You’ll get them. It take so much thought, though…

      Don’t you think it will be a happy marriage?

      What theme, LadyP?

      • 55 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 02:15

        Theme. Anything under the wide blue sky would do.

        No. I do not think it will be a happy marriage. What marriage is?

        Can you make me coffee and sugar cinnamon buns?

        I’ll get what? Brains? I have those. Thank you!

        Do you need ice? I can give you that!

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:26

        It’s a marriage! that’s all I know.

        No, the professor shan’t! (I’m not sure how.)

        Can you give me some?

        Yes, I do.

      • 57 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 02:31

        WEll, ahhh, *flustered* since I DID offer to do something for your sore head, fine, I will make you cherry muffins and tea. Can I not talk you into maybe chocolate chip muffins? Or is it Professorish still to stick with cherry?

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:31

        No, cherry all the way. Chocolate is bad for you, LadyP.

      • 59 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 02:32

        Come to think of it, I am very curious. What will I get? I prize maybe??

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:32

        What sort of prize?

      • 61 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 02:35

        PS I put PL on my desktop so I can keep track of these conversations. You have been duely warned. Now you will NOT win even when you cheat! Yawning, Yours Truly, LAdyP

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:38

        Oh dear! Does it mean I’m done for, LadyP?

      • 63 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 15:24

        Whew!!! Let me see if I can keep this all straight. Here is an ice bag for your poor head. Furget the coffee … I made my own. The Professor being a Professor has all the brains he needs. Minus those that are missing from the BANG. We will have to see if this marriage makes it. Chocolate is GOOD for me. It makes me HAPPY! Boring cherry for you. And now you will really have to think to be snazzy cause I have YOU on my desktop so that I can come directly here to SEE the conversation.

        In the reader only the LAST sentence I do see. I had to remember what was being said. Poor LAdyP had a very sore brain from trying to remember so much.

        And the score is 5-ZIP, LadyP 💝

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:47

        Still zip? You mean I’ve got no points whatsoever? (That’s a lovely breakdown, Ladyp)

      • 65 Amy Pinkrose March 25, 2014 at 19:51

        Wellll….perhaps I contend to give you ONE. Two. I am feeling generous. You did get knocked on the head.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:05

        2.5?

      • 67 Amy Pinkrose March 26, 2014 at 01:05

        I conceed. Round it to 3.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:14

        But I’m still losing…

      • 69 Amy Pinkrose March 26, 2014 at 21:05

        That means I am winning, and I like to win. 😁

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:10

        Rats and a Heifer to you!

      • 71 Amy Pinkrose March 27, 2014 at 14:17

        Well, someone has to win. And fortunately for me, it’s me. 😎

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:29

        Everyone with me sends you greetings.

      • 73 Amy Pinkrose March 27, 2014 at 14:44

        And who exactly is with you, Professor. I am truly curious.

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:22

        Oh, the usuals.

      • 75 Amy Pinkrose March 27, 2014 at 23:32

        Uh-ha. The usuals. Well, don’t you say!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:56

        I do say!

      • 77 Amy Pinkrose March 28, 2014 at 00:07

        And you are … ? Exactly, what kind of expert again? …

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:24

        A professorish one?

  6. 79 Jazzy Couldren March 25, 2014 at 00:01

    I’s always said that Dennis was my little baby anyway.

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 02:06

      I know. And that’s…jazzy.

      • 81 Jazzy Couldren March 25, 2014 at 19:56

        You is crazy.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:06

        No, Punchy.

  7. 83 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 24, 2014 at 21:26

    1. I’m counting on this one, actually. ☆
    2. A wonderful reminder for this lady. ☆☆
    3. Existence is proof amazing proof. ☆☆☆

    Fats Henry may clock that twirp soon…Parker needs to sit in time out. Move his clip to yellow and is not allowed to lizard hunt with Ms. Audrey tomorrow. The children had a blast today!!

    Not sure if I should be rooting for Barkoush…

    Did Arthur stop to consider that My Magi and his buddy, Merlin know what is best? He’d better be careful with that long sword.

    Dennis sounds horrible….

    • 84 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:52

      Oh really? Why so, madam?
      Yes, and me too, Audith.
      (What do the stars mean?)

      lol lol Clock that twirp…how beautiful, Audith! I wanna lizard hunt. Did you find any?

      Yes, he better. I know Mr. Magi is right, for sure. Why do you suppose Art is being difficult?

      Really? Why? He’s a hacker. Sorta like Dennis Nedry.

      • 85 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2014 at 03:41

        I don’t know, honestly. I can’t really remember why it mattered. ..but it still does. I think.
        *smiles*
        (It is my new fancy phone placement system for the proverbs, since I can’t do smiles, as I am trying to back you up on your cause)…lol…how annoying, I know. I don’t like it either.)

        lol…maybe I do need boxing gloves, Duketh! *haha* I think you would like hunting them. I know all their favorite spots. Bit of sprinkler water on the leaves of the plants and you’ll find one, or you can find them sunning themselves. We always find a few. The problem is that I can find them, but I cannot catch them! I squeal like a girl and jump high. Very counterproductive. …the children laugh at me. Then I laugh and we leave empty handed. I could use a brave hunter to team up with me.

        Art will see his error soon enough…maybe. I think because he likes being right and in charge…

        Well, I think him being a hacker does worry me some for her. He may not be trustworthy, Duketh.

        Oh! What kind of ball were you playing??

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:42

        Oh, Audith! You’re free to use smileys, but I can’t. First, they changed them. And, second, I hear it’s girly to do. And the professor is a warrior. I do like the stars.

        If the professor was a lizard, I’d be sunning myself, too. Yes, we should team up. I’d catch them, and maybe eat a few–if they were good.

        I think you’re right, Audith.

        But is she? MM thinks they deserve each other.

        Well, all sorts. This type of ball was invented by the professor. lol I was trying to catch a blue bouncy ball! Don’t laugh!

      • 87 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2014 at 14:00

        Yes, you are a warrior. The stars are gone. What stars.

        Perfect!! ….wait…eat them. Such a boy! What? Why? Have you????

        *smiles cause she knows her Magi so well, it seems.*

        Ooo, Audith nevereth consideredeth….

        Umm, were you drinking? A bouncy ball…
        *not laughing* *not holding hand over mouth*

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:38

        Star Wars stars?

        Who’s a boy? No, I haven’t. But I might do such a thing, you know.

        Yes, you do seem to know him rather well.

        Yes, yes.

        I was not! The tree was behind me, and I didn’t see it…

      • 89 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 25, 2014 at 20:38

        Yes, I’m only using them on Chewy’s mention. He’s my favorite character. :) ;)

        You’re the boy who can catch and eat lizards! You would…? *mouth wide open in shock* (don’t throw a lizard in..I’m watching you…closely!)

        Maybe. You could easily change that.

        Brilliant :)

        You’re eyes weren’t open in the back of your head? Duketh! Really?! Must we go over this again. (Are you okay??)

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:10

        I like Chewy too. But my favorite is that guy with the crooked red lightsaber.

        I’d only catch and play with them then. How’s that?

        I could not! What it is, it is, madam!

        Well, they were half shut! (yes lol I’m fine. It was stunning and I missed the ball.)

      • 91 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 26, 2014 at 00:37

        Your favorite??????!!!!! Before he was evil? (Hmm..hoping.)

        No..now you have to eat them! I will come up with a recipe. ..we’ll play with them first.

        Hahaha..alrighty then. *looks away cause he’s mighty*

        (Dang. I would have cheered you on and then gotten ice. Which I would have put down your shirt probably for being so agressive (which is cool)….brrr. )

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:11

        Of course not! I liked his evilness… (I also liked Mace Windu. You can imagine how much I enjoyed episode III.)

        Ugh! Twas kidding, Audith, twas kidding!

        Mightily stupid, yes.

        lol You would have punished me on top of everything else, dadblameit!

      • 93 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 26, 2014 at 23:35

        I suppose you breathe like him, too. LOL…*rolls her eyes because she knew all along* (Mace Windu, Oooo. What was your favorite part?)

        And now I will hold you down and make you eat it, Duketh…..*walking towards you*

        HEY!!! Those are fighting words….”Someone! Bring me Duke’s katana! Post hast!*

        LOL…that’s how I roll. Yet, I’ll offer you a moment of tenderness, if you cry!

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:19

        No, no, no. I was speaking about Count Dooku! (I like when he beats up Sideous, but then he dies. And that makes me mad…)

        *rides away in his chariot*

        They reply, “Mr. Duke buried his katana so it wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands.”

        And then ice?

      • 95 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 27, 2014 at 17:36

        Gotcha…I don’t know enough. Audith is faily girly, Duke. (I remember that.)

        No you don’t. .. it has a flat tire! *smiles*

        “These hands never do wrong,” she reminds the crew as they nod in agreement.

        Yes, of course!

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:31

        Oh you know what’s important! (Twas a wicked scene.)

        *looks away and continues to sing that obscene song*

        And the professor nods too. and I’m not sure why I did…

        Rats!

      • 97 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 28, 2014 at 02:27

        I like to think so, Duke. (Twas..and Mace was so strong.)

        *loves to hear you whistle and sing to me so I start tapping my toes to the harmonica you suddenly start playing* (no pressure…lol)

        It’s because Audith is so mesmerizing just before she begins structuring for battle…

        You like the ice!

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:32

        Mace was strong… That little Anakin brat… *grumbles death threats*

        lol Audith! That took the spice out of it…but I do have a harmonica…how did you know?

        And I think Audith may be a leader, huh?

        In a glass!

      • 99 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 29, 2014 at 13:04

        *puts her hand over your mouth in hopes no one is listening*
        (He is a boy, Duke. Be sweet.)

        Duke! How did that take the spice out of it? I think it was heading perfectly…forget it. I didn’t know! I was only guessing…do you know how to play one, Duketh? *heartbeat picks up a bit*

        Maybe. Usually. Not always a great quality in a lady. I’m trying to fix that.

        No….down your shirt..! lol

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:17

        *whispers:* We should kill him together, Audith. For revenge.

        Well…my song doesn’t seem so wicked anymore, does it? Sorta. If you think blowing through it is playing. The clarinet is much better!

        It is! (Unless a trusted man is present.)

        Rats and a Heifer! Then…then…I’ll go get my army grenade water balloons!

      • 101 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2014 at 15:12

        Duke….. *covers your mouth with her hand*

        I didn’t want it to sound wicked. Sweet, please. Yes, I know you play the clarinet.

        Is there one around? ;)

        *running as her ponytail sways and she screams call you later* :lol:

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:42

        Okay, I’ll keep it a secret.

        Not for miles in this direction!

        *laughing lots* Rats!

      • 103 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2014 at 22:11

        What are we gonna do to him. *she whispers* Wonders if he is leading her down a horrible path…

        Not even you?

        *smirks too much her dimples show*

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:26

        We’re going to tar and feather him!

        Well, not a great one, at least.

        You can’t! You’re running away!

      • 105 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 04:07

        What we partner? Audith is going to jail.*as she walks sneakily behind Duketh*

        Great to me.

        I was showing the gentlemen in front of me. Mind your business…. *runs faster*

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:06

        You won’t go to jail, but if we do, it’ll be fun escaping.

        Aw! *blushes*

        *rides after you in a chariot and picks you up to resume lion hunting*

      • 107 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 20:16

        You’ll be going to jail because you assumed all responsiblity. *she adores that* *anxiously awaits outside your cell window so she can listen to you sing and stay close*

        *blushes more*

        *laughs so much and sweetly grins because that image is amazing* *allows you to do just that and wonders how much further to the pyramids*

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:32

        *laughing* Singing might give us away! Can be no singing in the jail breaks!

        *grabs the pillow*

        Not much further! *grins broader than a broadsword*

      • 109 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 2, 2014 at 20:06

        But isn’t that what one is supposed to do while in jail? *pouting lip*

        *holds on tight and slides with it*

        *watches the sparks and flames from behind us and smiles* *pulls her red curls out of the side of her mouth*

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:13

        I suppose you’re right. The Rooster did in Robin Hood. Okay, you can.

        Dadblameit! It’s mine, I think.

        Haha, I can see that perfectly…we’re going fast now…

      • 111 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 3, 2014 at 02:36

        He did, didn’t he… Thanks. You sing and I’ll sit by the window and listen.

        Cursing will only get you a…. yeah you grabbed it first. I suppose it is yours.

        I like fast.

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:08

        But I can’t sing!

        A what, though? It is mine!

        Me too! Faster the better!

      • 113 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 02:04

        I can kinda sing. I suppose I could sing from the window. *hands you a metal cup to drag along the prision bars* Thinking that it is still sweet you went to jail for me over a little overzealous boy.

        A smile? *deciding not to tell you* I thought we were sharing…

        You have a nice chariot, Duketh.

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 02:12

        Hmm…it wasn’t sweet! *takes out an explosive to blow up the jail with*

        How mean! I wanna hint…

        Thanks! It’s red and has spikes on the wheels… Let’s go find Ben-Hur!

      • 115 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 02:44

        Hmm…wondering if she jumped to conclusions and is sitting in jail beside you. *keeps the pimp beside you busy whilst you set up explosives*

        *wonders which punishment for cursing would make Duke blush more*

        Tis very flashy, Duke. Not him! Ben’s coming along….? *laughs a lot*

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 13:24

        *stabs the pimp with his hidden dagger, then continues to set up explosives* We can’t have him snitching on us…

        Being boiled alive?

        No, we’re going to ruin his chariot, though!

      • 117 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 15:40

        *laughs so hard that sound doesn’t come out, then realizes you are not defending my honor simply covering your butt*

        Yikes..we can’t have that…

        Oh, well that seems harsh, Duketh.

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:56

        *shocked laughs; lots of them* The professor has been…I’m not breaking out now.

        No, we can’t! At least, I hope not.

        But he needs it.

      • 119 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 19:53

        *still laughing* Has been, what? Well, now that you’ve killed the pimp, I suppose we will be here a while.

        Yeah, I couldn’t administer that type of punishment. Just who do you think I am, Duke?! Wow.

        Explain to me why he needs it, Duketh. *pulls the blanket up and sips her tea*

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 12:56

        I won’t tell you! We shan’t. I’ve got a hacksaw.

        Well, it is a vicious punishment…

        Because he’s trying to race us.

      • 121 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 7, 2014 at 15:38

        You must tell me. Oh dear….

        I know and I want to know what it is…

        Oooo, fun. Just what I need…

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:21

        I forget. Hacksaws are awesome–when wielded by the professor.

        What do you mean?

        You take the reins. I’ll shoot him with an arrow when he passes.

      • 123 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 8, 2014 at 02:13

        No you don’t you just don’t want to tell me. Yeah, so scary, Duke with a hacksaw. *wonders if you have put us into a thriller movie*

        Umm…boiling someone alive…twas your idea a few comments ago…

        Oh boy!! I hope I don’t crash us… You’re gonna kill him…

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 02:14

        I love thrillers! Any moment the machine guns will go off!

        What a horrible idea.

        Yes, I am. Hold on tight!

      • 125 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 8, 2014 at 02:26

        *hides her eyes in your shirt sleeve* Not me…spooky.

        Kinda what I was thinking…ouch and smelly too.

        I can’t hold on tight I have the driving thingys..*

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 22:54

        Hold your ears, too.

        Twould be a mess.

        the Reins!

      • 127 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 9, 2014 at 02:52

        My ears, too? Why? There will be screeching and all that, huh? You and your weapons, Duke.

        I have the reins! You focus on Ben’s chariot. *begins to think there will never be lions on this trip*

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:27

        Yes, it might break one’s eardrums.

        Ben is the lion, you see!

      • 129 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 9, 2014 at 20:00

        *waits to be offered ear protection and a chance to shoot it*

        Oh, well, okay, so no lions, then? I’m thinking I got on the wrong chariot after all… *winks* Ben is a lion!

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 01:23

        *hands it over* Aim for Ben, please.

        Well, he’s only the first lion! After that…are…jackals!

      • 131 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 10, 2014 at 01:58

        *hands you the reins* Thinks through what he’s asking of me and then hands it back.

        *smiles brightly* Are jackals afraid of chariots and lion hunters, Duketh? Jackals sound like they may know a joke or two. Will we be having dinner with them?

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 19:35

        Oh dear… You sure?

        We might have to. They are wise, you know.

      • 133 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 10, 2014 at 20:29

        I don’t wanna be the one to hurt him. You sure you want me to? Aiming and hitting are two different things…

        Oh good, I love wise conversation. We need their advice, I’d say.

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 17:48

        Well, maybe we should be nice, then.

        But they can be vicious!

      • 135 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 11, 2014 at 21:24

        I’m not sure you’re going to be okay with that, Duke.

        So! Let’s go already…

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:46

        Well…I actually might be. Jason Bourne is nice sometimes. About 1% of the time. I think that would be okay.

        Okay. Hold this flamethrower just in case they get mean.

      • 137 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 12, 2014 at 00:48

        *loves that he’ll try just this once*

        Ahh! It’s hot! Hurry up. Is this to light your pipe, Duketh?

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:43

        *has doubts now*

        Dadblameit! It would blow my face off!

      • 139 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 14, 2014 at 18:34

        *so does she* *hmmph*

        Yeah…lol!!

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:37

        You’re laughing me to scorn!

      • 141 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 14, 2014 at 19:23

        *I can’t help it. I’m too happy today.*

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 17:52

        *laughs*

      • 143 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2014 at 18:38

        *smiles*

  8. 144 Debbie March 24, 2014 at 20:41

    The professor ran into a tree? Well, if that doesn’t beat all! I’d say you should be more careful, but who am I to judge? I’m one who can trip up and down curbs!
    Are they talking about eating watermelons at one sitting? Because, of course, eating even ONE watermelon at a sitting would be difficult, I’d think!
    I like Proverb #3. I’m not sure why, but it just seems to make more sense to me.
    Happy Monday, Professor!

    • 145 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:50

      Happy Monday–or end of it! I jumped into a tree. Is that worse? Yes! Curbs are the very devil!

      Yes, I love watermelons, but..

  9. 146 Jackie March 24, 2014 at 20:10

    Dadblameit! All the proverbs are making me think! Why oh why does Shnodgrate try to make me think when I have a headache?! Hurrumph. Speaking of headaches – I’m sorry about your head. I hope it feels better soon.

    • 147 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:44

      Thank you, Jackie. It was mean of the tree. He should get softer bark! lol

      • 148 Jackie March 25, 2014 at 07:56

        Mean trees are a menace to society!

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:45

        I agree! Something must be done. Perhaps I’ll offer them tea.

  10. 150 Simply Skeptical March 24, 2014 at 18:05

    Oh these proverbs make me think too hard. It’s not always easy to focus on the meanings behind the Punchy Lands that is if there are any. Are there? I like #3 – that something is something or else it couldn’t be. That’s as clear as I think such quotes will get. Just how big is Fats anyway. I mean are numerical measurements calculable? :-)

    • 151 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 20:02

      Of course there’s meanings! Haven’t you figured any out yet?

      He’s said to be over…500 pounds?

      • 152 Jazzy Couldren March 24, 2014 at 20:37

        You is wrong dude. He’s over 1000 lbs.

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:49

        Oh, that’s right, MM. Sorry!

      • 154 Susan P March 24, 2014 at 20:41

        How much does he weigh in metric ?

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:50

        1000 pounds!

      • 156 Susan P March 25, 2014 at 02:33

        snort

      • 157 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:33

        But you must believe it.

      • 158 Susan P March 25, 2014 at 22:01

        Must? *raised eyebrow*

      • 159 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:18

        Yes, why not?

      • 160 Susan P March 26, 2014 at 10:55

        I don’t must gotta do nothin’.

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:21

        Now that’s rather neatio, Susan. I love the structure.

      • 162 Susan P March 26, 2014 at 19:21

        If only you could tell me what it means.

      • 163 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 13:59

        Well, I think MM would say it. And I think it means basically, loosely translated, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

      • 164 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:54

        ’cause he’s a manly man and don’t need to be told nothing.

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:50

        That’s quite right.

      • 166 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:54

        :D

      • 167 Jazzy Couldren March 24, 2014 at 22:11

        I’s an American street dude. I don’t done know silly foreign stuff. :}

      • 168 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:59

        Not even a bit?

  11. 169 Angeline M March 24, 2014 at 17:27

    I sort of like proverb #2, but think that pride does and can exist and flaws come in to play to keep us in check and show us we are not in control of as much as we think we are. Now if that’s not a run on sentence I don’t know what is. And stay away from trees!

    • 170 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 20:01

      It isn’t a run-on sentence! If flowed–like a professorish river.

      The tree was being mean, don’t you think?

  12. 171 weggieboy March 24, 2014 at 17:12

    Nr. 2 is the winner today, by my reckoning! There is a razor’s edge between pride and humility, humility being the state nature would have us perpetually in.

    • 172 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 20:01

      Which do you like better: pride or humility?

  13. 173 Brenda March 24, 2014 at 16:08

    Two is my favorite. I’m not sure Jane Austen would agree, though. :-)

    • 174 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:51

      And why wouldn’t she?!

      • 175 Brenda March 24, 2014 at 20:35

        I remember how proud Mr. Darcy was. And yet, how imperfect because of that very pride. It wasn’t until he set aside his pride that he was happy. Perhaps she would agree after all. I just wanted to think it over.

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:49

        Do you like P&P, Brenda?

      • 177 Brenda March 25, 2014 at 02:00

        Is the sky blue? Hmm, right now it’s dark and overcast, but yes, anyway!

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 02:10

        I hope you get lots of sun and professorish temps!

      • 179 Brenda March 25, 2014 at 02:20

        Me, too. Soon!

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:27

        I hope so!

  14. 181 FictionFan March 24, 2014 at 15:38

    1 wins – Shnoddy almost makes sense for once. *astonished face*
    2 is rubbish – if pride were impossible, then how could I be proud of my C-W-W?
    3 shows that, relatively speaking, Shnoddy’s lost it again… *sighs resignedly*

    *laughing hysterically, while trying to look sympathetic*

    Why weren’t we invited to Billy-Sue’s wedding? *pouty face*

    • 182 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:43

      About 2…you’re proud of C-W-W? *shocked face that is disbelieving*

      I thought #3 was beautiful!!!

      Now, what are you laughing at, FEF?

      You don’t like weddings.

      • 183 FictionFan March 24, 2014 at 22:38

        Of course I am – didn’t you know? Why, I remember when your blog was just a little wee thing with only about three followers, and look at you now! And all done with good humour, great talent, and nothing the slightest bit offensive – the Professor has restored my faith in the…er…old… *honest face, beaming with pride*

        But it makes no sense!

        You.

        Who says? I always enjoy weddings, so long as they’re not mine. Cake and dancing – what’s not to love?

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 02:06

        Old…old people? Is that what you were going to say? *a huff-hum face*

        Yes, it does! It does! It does!

        Oh…you were laughing at me hitting into the tree? *shocked* You were??? You would have definitely laughed if you’d been there. My orange baseball cap went flying…

        Goodness. How many weddings have you had?

      • 185 FictionFan March 25, 2014 at 14:24

        Good noodles! The Professor is nearly as unpredicatble as BigSister. I’ll stop being proud of you then if it’s going to make you huff-hummy!

        Explain it then…

        I admit it – the thought of the Professor bashing himself over the head with his own tree made me giggle immoderately. Orange????

        So far? Where’s my calculator…. *winking face to indicate she should not be taken seriously*

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:46

        No, no, I take it back!!!

        It’s all right there. But it messes with my mind. I’ve had some very great people check it out, though.

        Yes, orange. That’s so I don’t get my head sniped off.

        But I am taking it seriously!

      • 187 FictionFan March 25, 2014 at 23:11

        Too late – I shall be more careful to bestow it where it might be appreciated in future.

        Huh! Were they Earthlings?

        I’d have thought that’d present a great target…

        FF will retain her air of mystery – a talent she has learned from the Professor himself.

      • 188 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:29

        Oh dear…

        Yes, they were. Why?

        Well, it does. But you see, the hunters won’t mistake me for a dear…not that that would happen! Just to be on the safe side. *smiles*

        I respect that! You nicely mysteriously, if you like it.

      • 189 FictionFan March 26, 2014 at 14:55

        *forgiving smile*

        Because I sometimes wonder if the Professor is under alien mind control…

        Oh, but you are a dear! Though I agree not many deers wear orange baseball caps – they have better dress sense…

        *mysterious smile*

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:36

        You have a lot of different smiles, FEF, and I admire you for that.

        *laughs* I hope not! Do you think so?

        *smiles at the nice compliment* FEF, what have thou against baseball caps? (Beside the incident.)

      • 191 FictionFan March 26, 2014 at 23:11

        *smug smile*

        Well…I’m hoping somebody’s got it under control anyway…

        They’re so…American. And really, without meaning to offend, the whole baseball outfit is…silly. Isn’t it?

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:17

        I definitely don’t.

        It is not! David Ortiz looks coolio in one!

      • 193 FictionFan March 27, 2014 at 18:44

        Oh! Don’t they wear the silly knee-length trousers and socks any more then?

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:44

        Yes, they do. But it’s not as bad as rounders!

      • 195 FictionFan March 28, 2014 at 02:45

        Rounders players generally wear skirts… (*chuckles at Americans*)

      • 196 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:38

        So do girls. Conclusion: Rounder players are either girls…or girls in disguise! Oh!

      • 197 FictionFan March 28, 2014 at 23:39

        And since baseball is just American for rounders – then baseball players must be girls in disguise too!!! *shocked face*

      • 198 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 11:57

        Not at all, dadblameit! Baseball is older than Scotland itself!

      • 199 FictionFan March 31, 2014 at 15:58

        Ha! Scotland is older than time – though I understand baseball games can go on longer than that. Because the players need to rest frequently, poor little lambs!

      • 200 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:49

        When I take you to a game one day, you’ll love it!

      • 201 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 21:24

        Hums “Take me out to the ball game…”

      • 202 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:16

        Go Sox!

      • 203 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 12:30

        Unfortunately for Sox fans, they got trounced.

      • 204 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:17

        Did they? Rats! Isn’t Harry a fan?

      • 205 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 18:20

        He’s a Yankee fan.

      • 206 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:46

        Ooo, that’s right. Goodness. The Pirates won at least!

      • 207 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 21:27

        That’s a good thing, right?

      • 208 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:43

        Yes, I think…isn’t it?

      • 209 Susan P April 3, 2014 at 12:35

        I presume that if one is a Pirate’s fan it’s a good thing.

      • 210 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:33

        Well, I suppose…

      • 211 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 15:20

        :D

      • 212 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 01:17

        When’s the baseball season? I might…might…watch a game… *martyred face*

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:40

        It just started!

      • 214 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 15:07

        Hmm…let me know when a good match is coming up then…

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:36

        Definitely! (But I don’t follow it that much myself…)

      • 216 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 23:45

        I just feel if I’m going to mock it (and I am) I should really watch it at least once…

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:53

        You’re not allowed to mock it, young lady!

      • 218 FictionFan April 2, 2014 at 15:25

        But they must want to be mocked or they wouldn’t wear such silly clothes.

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 17:21

        They’re not silly! I always thought they looked coolio…I’d like to wear one!

      • 220 FictionFan April 3, 2014 at 00:20

        Yes, wear them when you visit Glasgow! That’ll be sure to endear you to the natives…

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:23

        And I’ll use the bat, too…

      • 222 FictionFan April 3, 2014 at 13:31

        You may have to…

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:47

        Not if you’re with me.

  15. 224 PorterGirl March 24, 2014 at 14:27

    Number 2 proverb is my favourite, I think. I have always been puzzled by flaws and now I am puzzled no longer :)

    I hope MM is not too angry about the marriage – he would be a very scary father-in-law!

    I think Arthur should leave Excalibur alone. Who knows what will come of trying to crop that sword? Maybe the sword isn’t too long, but Arthur’s arms are too short.

    • 225 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:40

      The professor is! It puzzled me more, you know.

      He would! I think MM basically disowned Billy-Sue…

      That’s exactly what it is. Did you know Arthur was…really small?

      • 226 PorterGirl March 24, 2014 at 21:48

        I think I did know that. Small is good – and if you are really small you need a big sword!

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:59

        I agree! Art should realize this, but he doesn’t.

  16. 228 walt walker March 24, 2014 at 14:07

    It hurts my thinker when Bud calls Fats “Bud” and Fats calls Bud “Parker” this early on a Monday, but I suppose it’s good for me in the long run.

    • 229 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:37

      lol Well, Parker likes to call everyone else “Bud” and he doesn’t like to be called “Bud”. Does that make sense?

    • 230 walt walker March 25, 2014 at 00:20

      Everything makes sense now that I’ve had my coffee.

      I hope you didn’t harm the tree.

      • 231 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 02:07

        Well, I use to throw knives into the tree. Do you think it was revenge, Walt?

  17. 232 Susan P March 24, 2014 at 13:48

    #1 is absolutely true. Most of the time. Or, you might say that to live is to perceive.

    The Professor jumped into a tree? Definitely need more info on the incident. And did it have anything to do with the Professor’s audition for the latest George of the Jungle movie?

    Why you be all of the time picking on Fats Henry? I bet he’s a soft cuddly person.

    Now why did Billy-Sue do such a silly thing? No good will come of this.

    Three to five…that makes 8. That’s a lot of writing and stuff.

    I still think I will give Ruber’s establishment a pass.

    • 233 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:51

      But the professor doesn’t perceive, you know…

      *laughing lots* It did not! The professor was going for a ball. Isn’t that quite normal? The ball went up, I had to catch it, or else, and I…bang.

      Cuddly?! The professor isn’t picking on him. J. Freedwoppen is reporting the news, that’s all. Do you like Fats?

      And why not? I think Dennis is…well, he is trouble. Overweight, too.

      It is! Updating in the process. Punchy trailer is being scored as of now. Man did that take forever to put together! Gageth gag.

      What?! Not even the professor takes you?

      • 234 Susan P March 24, 2014 at 14:14

        Ahhh, but we think the Professor is very preceptive.

        I ran into a structural beam in the lunch room when I was in second grade. And that, my dear Professor, explains a lot.

        I do not know Fats well enough to judge one way or the other, but someone needs to cut him some slack.

        Ah, yes, Dennis. I hear that he dressed up for the wedding; he wore a brand new wife beater to the ceremony and kept his plug in his cheek until after they both said “I do.” Then he tried to get Billy-Sue to pay for the wedding lunch they had at Ruber’s place. She didn’t have the money to do it, though, because she spent it on that dadblamed trip to Portugal.

        Weeeeeeeeeeeelllll, if the Professor took me…naw. I’ll just sit here waiting for the updating to be complete. Can’t wait!

      • 235 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:39

        But, how could he be? He enjoys ramming into trees…

        Haha. Everyone runs into things!

        The professor won’t! No one really does in the PL, I suppose.

        What’s a wife beater? But that sounds like Dennis. He likes to build supercomputers.

        Naw? Not even then?! How crude!

        Me neither. Waiting is so dadblame hard.

      • 236 Susan P March 24, 2014 at 20:16

        A wife beater is a slang term for a man’s sleeveless tee shirt.

        Well, maybe, if you bring someone to taste everything before I eat it…

        Is it ready yet?

      • 237 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 01:45

        You mean a muscle man’s shirt! I love those things…

        I would. But I assure you it’s quite safe.

        What?

      • 238 Susan P March 25, 2014 at 02:27

        Pinky promise?

      • 239 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 13:28

        Yes. You don’t think the professor would poison hiself, do you?

      • 240 Susan P March 25, 2014 at 21:58

        I make no representation about expectations or lack of expectations with regard to what the Perfesser may or may not assay to attempt. And may the odds be ever in your favor.

      • 241 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 00:16

        Madam, what a speech!

      • 242 Susan P March 26, 2014 at 10:51

        I love lawyer speak.

      • 243 Professor VJ Duke March 26, 2014 at 18:19

        Me too. But I’m gardoobled by it.

      • 244 Susan P March 26, 2014 at 19:17

        That’s because They Want Us to Be Gardoobled.

      • 245 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 13:55

        I think you’re absolutely right, Susan.

      • 246 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:48

        ;)

  18. 247 ladycheetah7 March 24, 2014 at 13:46

    All of the proverbs are way too good. I choose them all!

    • 248 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:48

      The professor’s favorite is number #3. Big smile. Shnod’s rather good, isn’t he?

      • 249 ladycheetah7 March 24, 2014 at 14:35

        Yes he is.

      • 250 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 19:40

        *a wicked professorish smile*

  19. 251 Painting Pundit March 24, 2014 at 13:29

    Was the tree hurt?
    Were the watermelon seeds also consumed? That is where the problem comes in. The seeds grow new watermelons making the stomach expand to greater proportions. Its a well known fact.

    • 252 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:46

      The tree?! How wicked of you! *laughing* Maybe it was revenge… You know, the professor has thrown a few knives in that tree in the past. Do you think it was revenge?

      *laughing lots* Oh yes, the seeds were consumed. Do you think Henry will be okay?

  20. 253 L. Marie March 24, 2014 at 13:09

    Number 2 is my favorite! A bit of a conundrum.
    Yay! Glad to know about Ruber’s Catering. So it’s really the nicest place to eat? Really? I’m wondering what that says about the Punchy Lands.
    And um wow. Nine watermelons? Um, wow.

    • 254 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:45

      I think so. The professor likes that one.

      Yes, it is. It’s quite safe now. Just think of it this way: Mortimer wouldn’t put his name on something if it ruin his reputation. Now, don’t you want to go with the professor?

      What do you mean? About what it says about the PL?

      Yes, that’s what the professor says. But I think that’s normal for Fats.

      • 255 L. Marie March 25, 2014 at 14:54

        Well, Ruber’s cooking isn’t exactly um great. So that’s why I’m wondering if it’s the nicest place, what are the other places to eat like?

      • 256 Professor VJ Duke March 25, 2014 at 19:46

        Oh, just regular restaurants all over the PL. Depends where you are. That’s the only one in England, though.

  21. 257 Anja March 24, 2014 at 13:06

    Perception is a funny thing…not funny as in hahaha, although I suppose it could be that as well.

    • 258 Professor VJ Duke March 24, 2014 at 13:42

      It’s that way to the professor! Do you think it’s a confusing matter?


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11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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