The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, March 24, 2014
Section A. Punchy Proverbs:
All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate—the foremost poet in the PL—unless noted otherwise.
Subject: Perception, Flaws, and Relativity.
(1) Some say perception matters; and it does—when it’s not flawed.
(2) Flaws don’t exist to keep our pride in check; nay, they live to show us pride is impossible.
(3) Relativity is measured by something—otherwise it couldn’t exist.
Favorites, Punchy Family? (The professor doesn’t pick favorites unless he’s mad.)
Section B. The professor speaks:
The professor jumped into a tree on Saturday, and I really wish I hadn’t. A sore head is such dadblamery! Tip: Never care about a ball that much.
Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:
A short conversation:
BUD PARKER: Hey, bud, I’ve got a question for you.
FATS HENRY: Well, spit it out, Parker!
BUD PARKER: How many watermelons can you eat?
FATS HENRY: Why do you ask?
BUD PARKER: ‘Cause I heard somewhere that if you can eat three whole watermelons, you’re way overweight.
FATS HENRY: I can eat nine!
BUD PARKER [nods]: That’s what I thought, bud. You’re three times overweight.
Section D. Breaking News
by J. Freedwoppen
Barkoush Ladan is trying to re-open the silk road. Many think he will fail; many think he will succeed.
Section E. Short note from the Professor:
The Punchy Lands Blog will have 3 to 5 posts a week. Also, some weeks will be a ‘themed’ week. (Like Portugal Week.) Just keeping you informed, Punchy Family, of the professor’s devilish thoughts.
Section E. Hearing from the PL Family:
Question from L.Marie: How did Ruber get in the catering business?
Answer: Great question. Interestingly enough, there are not many restaurants in King Arthur’s domain. Ruber opened the catering place to try something new. It was horrible—and unsafe—for years. When Ruber partnered with renowned businessman, Mortimer Butterfield, Ruber’s Catering became one of the nicest places to eat in the Punchy Lands.
PL family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.
The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)
The PL Times!