Dinner at Daddy Salami’s Hut

“So…” Schwarz Tauptinker said, seemingly unhappy. “Where’s the dinner? Chickit!”

Daddy Salami looked across the dirty, wooden table. “Ya shut up an’ wait! Ruber be home any minute with da supper.”

“You know,” Schwarz said, “I wouldn’t have come if I’d known there was no dinner.”

“Quiet, cur-face!” Salami yelled. “A poor weary traveler can always get a bit to eat at Daddy Salami’s Hut! Dinner will come!”

Schwarz didn’t seem convinced. “Why should I believe you? ‘Cause…I don’t know why!”

“Daddy Salami never lies, ya turtle. And when I do, ya can’t tell that I did! Hehaha!”

Then Schwarz said something he probably shouldn’t have.

And he said it quickly.

Without thinking.

Without caring about the consequences.

“I hate how you laugh.”

Salami’s mouth dropped open. “Vhat?”

“Yeah.” And Schwarz had the gall to say it again. “I think your laugh is sick, and I don’t know why you laugh like a vulture.”

“A vulture?” Salami said warningly.

“Yeah…” And Schwarz proceeded to copy Salami’s laugh. “That’s what a vulture sounds like.”

Salami laughed and stood. “Vultures are always hovering over a dead body…”

“But there’s none here, chickit!”

“Yet.” Salami grabbed a long knife.

And that’s when the door opened and Ruber entered the hut.

“What the heck, eh?” he said, upon seeing Salami with a knife. “Put that down, dad.”

Surprisingly, Salami listened.

“What’d ya bring fer dinner, son?”

“Yeah,” Schwarz said, “we’re starving. At least, that’s what my belly tells me.”

Salami looked at Ruber. “Don’t embarrass your daddy, Ruber. When a guest comes you’re expected to have dinner ready!”

“Sheesh,” Ruber said with a wave of his hand. “I’m going out with Manly-Man tonight. You’re on your own. Make your own dinner.”

Daddy Salami picked the knife up again.

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291 Responses to “Dinner at Daddy Salami’s Hut”


  1. 1 maryamchahine March 31, 2014 at 16:21

    That’s real scary. Who’s Daddy Salami going to have for dinner? For some crazy reason, that scene reminded me of Hannibal Lecter.

    • 2 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 16:27

      I thought the same think when I read that.

      • 3 maryamchahine March 31, 2014 at 16:37

        That’s makes two of us. All knives should have a restraining order against Daddy Salami.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:53

      You mean that funny fellow who was a murderer?

      • 5 maryamchahine April 1, 2014 at 19:37

        Yikes, professor! Hannibal Lecter gave me the creeps. You have a weird sense of humor! But so do I at times ;D

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:22

        For sure! But don’t you think if one had a katana he wouldn’t have been so scary?

      • 7 maryamchahine April 2, 2014 at 17:17

        A katana definitely sounds more appealing. Reminds me of the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It’s good that we are moving away from Hannibal to images of floating fight scenes and long, elegant swords ; )

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 17:23

        Yes! Katanas are awesome! (Should I call you Maryam?)

        They’re much better! (I had a talk with Amelia again and I did what you recommended!)

      • 9 maryamchahine April 2, 2014 at 17:53

        Yes, Maryam or even just “M.”. Yes, I’m trying to be mysterious too with “M.” ; D

        Oooh, I’ll have to read that. I can’t wait.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:03

        Awesome! (Such a nice name.) Okay, M it will be! It’s very coolio.

      • 11 maryamchahine April 3, 2014 at 05:28

        Thank you, professor : ) There are lots of Maryams in Jordan so it is not as coolio over here, but thank you Dukio : )

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:23

        *laughing* Dukio…that’s coolio! Well…there’s a lot of professor’s here!

      • 13 maryamchahine April 5, 2014 at 07:38

        But there is only one Professor VJ Duke : )

        Ah, does that by chance mean you work in a university?

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:29

        There is!

        No, I don’t. But I bet you already suspected that, huh?

      • 15 maryamchahine April 7, 2014 at 14:17

        The funny thing is you remind me of one of my writing professors in college. He had an interesting personality and his classes were always filled with great discussions. I still remember him after all these years as he left an impression. His first name started with “V” but his last name started with “Z”. He doesn’t live in PA either, so I don’t think you are him? Or are you ; D

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:12

        Well, what was the chap’s name? Maybe this professor moved. (And what did he look like?)

      • 17 maryamchahine April 8, 2014 at 05:11

        Well, his first name is Vytautas. Tall, brown hair, and mustache.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 22:56

        *laughing* I’m afraid not, then… I hope that’s not disappointing.

      • 19 maryamchahine April 10, 2014 at 15:47

        The professor and punchy land are far too interesting to be disappointed ; )

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:02

        Aw, thanks so much! Now, the hunt continues…

      • 21 maryamchahine April 12, 2014 at 11:36

        Indeed : )

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:59

        ==]:-{)+

  2. 23 Painting Pundit March 29, 2014 at 14:12

    A sausage should never pick up a knife! What will happen if someone relieves him of it and turns it on him? That’s a dinner option. But who can unarm him? MM maybe?

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:30

      *laughs* Now why do you think DS is a sausage? *laughs* Yes, perhaps MM. But something tells me he wouldn’t try. Schwarz maybe?

  3. 25 xoxosanaz90210 March 29, 2014 at 00:46

    Hilarious! I really liked this one. I wonder what Daddy Salami will cook for Schwarz. Or if he cooks at all, maybe poison it. Schwarz did insult him after all.

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:02

      Thanks! And, yes, Schwarz did insult. The professor wouldn’t trust any of DS’s food, would you? But then again, DS did think he had to treat his guest well. Maybe Ruber will catch the brunt of this?

  4. 27 Jackie March 28, 2014 at 11:47

    It’s all punchalicious dadblamery! Nothing unusual about that. 8-)

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:40

      Jackie! *laughing* So true. Why are we shocked? It’s quite normal in the PL. And especially in DS’s hut!

      • 29 Jackie March 28, 2014 at 20:37

        That’s a great question – why the shock? Don’t know the answer. Perhaps it’s one of those strange phenomenon that will always remain a mystery. You know, like the Bermuda Triangle. o_0

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 22:36

        Yes, I think you’re right. The professor is going to solve the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle one day, you know!

  5. 31 Tonia March 28, 2014 at 00:46

    oh, i think Salami is gonna go kill a goat and grill it and eat it all by himself..but def wont share it with that insulting idiot who laughed at his laugh. ( o o )

    • 32 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:25

      You mean Schwarz? Haha! Don’t you like Schwarz, Tonia?

  6. 33 Julie Harris March 28, 2014 at 00:38

    Schwarz needs to get outta there asap!!

    • 34 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:25

      He does! But do you think he will?

  7. 35 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:25

    Oh dear. If DS is anything like Harry when he is hungry, there’s gonna be trouble in the old town tonight. I would not want to be Schwarz or Ruber. Maybe MM should get a move on and get out of there, too.

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:46

      The professor is like that too, I fear. Perhaps, Ruber should just punch DS?

      • 37 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:49

        I’m not certain that is Ruber’s MO. He’s more likely to do something to catch dear old dad off his guard. It may take some doing, but Ruber has done it before.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:40

        Definitely. I see that. Like the nuke thing, huh?

      • 39 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 19:43

        What nuke?

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 22:24

        In one skit, Ruber went to buy a nuke from PeZ to shoot DS with.

      • 41 Susan P March 29, 2014 at 12:58

        I don’t remember that – perhaps it was before my time.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:11

        Well, here you go, then. This was the 4th skit the studio did.

      • 43 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 13:20

        Laughing and giggling here. No, I don’t think Ruber’s stupid enough to try a do over. He might, however, lock dear old dad in a shed with Bro. Bek and force dad to listen to him talk for 24 hours. Chickit! I’m not sure I’d even want to do that to my worst enemy.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:16

        *laughing* Susan, you must have something against Bro. Bek. But I agree!

      • 45 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 20:54

        More like I’ve had dealings with his ilk.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 21:02

        Yes, me too. Maybe I should have DS and Bro in a skit…

      • 47 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 21:30

        Oh – I’d pay to hear that. About…ten cents, say.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:19

        That’s it?

      • 49 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 12:33

        That’s a lot of money for someone who is unemployed.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:20

        I agree. A lot of money. Money is dadblamery!

      • 51 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 18:24

        Money can’t buy happiness, sir.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:47

        Yes, only katanas.

      • 53 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 21:30

        Bananas are good.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:45

        Yes…but they’re not as sharp as katanas.

      • 55 Susan P April 3, 2014 at 12:37

        why?

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:34

        Because one has a blade, dadblameit!

      • 57 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 15:23

        Well, goose feathers.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:45

        Haha, I love that!

      • 59 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 21:35

        :D

  8. 60 Simply Skeptical March 27, 2014 at 18:31

    Oh know I do believe Ruber has left DS in bad spirits. Not a good thing to do. If I were Schwarz I’d be taking my leave quickly. LOL! :-)

    • 61 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:26

      I agree. He needs to git goin’.

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:40

      For sure! But wouldn’t you want to fight DS?

  9. 63 ladycheetah7 March 27, 2014 at 18:07

    And you know DS is always calling people names. I am glad Schwarz said DS laughs like a vulture. Serves the old chap right.

    • 64 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:26

      DS’s chuckle always makes me laugh.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:46

        Really?

      • 66 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:49

        Really really. It tickles my funny bone.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:41

        That’s funny! :D And I love it.

      • 68 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 19:43

        :D

    • 69 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:38

      *laughs* That’s true. But Schwarz didn’t say it to be mean, I think, right? That’s probably the principle difference betwixt the two.

      • 70 ladycheetah7 March 27, 2014 at 23:44

        I agree with that and Daddy Salami wouldn’t have taken offense if it were not true I think.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:58

        *laughing* good point. He must have sensed some truth in it.

  10. 72 ladycheetah7 March 27, 2014 at 18:05

    I would love to see the conclusion of this one. I wander if Schwarz is a fighter.

    • 73 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:38

      He actually is. DS usually wins, though. I wonder if that surprises you.

      • 74 ladycheetah7 March 27, 2014 at 23:43

        Evert Daddy Salami has his day and it is about time someone brought him down and teach him a thing or two…or three…or four….lol

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:57

        Like Drake?

      • 76 ladycheetah7 March 28, 2014 at 00:02

        Exactly.

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:24

        Yes, sir!

  11. 78 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 27, 2014 at 17:47

    What is he going to do with the knife??
    Is it lunch time yet?

    • 79 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:35

      Kill somebody, or do you think he’s just threatening?

      Umm…depends. Are you serving wings?

      • 80 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 28, 2014 at 02:06

        He hasn’t killed anyone in a while…I can’t look.

        No. I don’t serve wings. I go out for wings…

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:27

        Me neither. Let’s leave.

        And then you can get all those cool sauces.

      • 82 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 29, 2014 at 12:49

        Okay, where we going this time? You pick! I’ll drive. :)

        Yes!!

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:08

        Umm…how about…Half Priced Books?

      • 84 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2014 at 14:59

        What are we buying today?

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:38

        Hmm…Cd’s.

      • 86 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 21:21

        Goats.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:13

        I should eat one.

      • 88 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 12:21

        I recommend you cook it first.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:13

        Well, of course!

      • 90 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 18:18

        Okay-just wanted to make sure.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:45

        But…

      • 92 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 21:26

        It has to be breaded and I needed to know if you wanted it cooked.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:41

        Breaded…now that does sound good. I’ve never had goat.

      • 94 Susan P April 3, 2014 at 12:33

        It’s a lot like lamb.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:30

        You know, the professor loves lamb.

      • 96 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 14:01

        There was a Hitchcock episode called Lamb to the Slaughter.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:39

        That’s sounds kinda neat. Was it any good?

      • 98 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 21:32

        It was about this woman who was great with child, and her husband came home from work and told her he was leaving her and wanted a divorce. She seemed to be taking it in a passive way, and he thought he was in the zone. But. She went to the freezer and took out a large leg of lamb and when he turned away from her she used it like a bat on his head and it killed him. She put something heavy next to his head and called the police. While she waited for the police, she put the leg of lamb in the oven and turned it up high. The police never did find a murder weapon….

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:15

        Hmm! That is an interesting way to get rid of the weapon. (Did she eat it?)

      • 100 Susan P April 7, 2014 at 17:36

        Oh, better than that. She served it to the policemen who were investigating her husband’s death. No weapon to find.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:38

        *laughing* That is cruel. Should we try this?

      • 102 Susan P April 8, 2014 at 12:12

        It is SUCH a punchy thing to do. I bet we could come up with something that wouldn’t get us in trouble with copyrights.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 23:10

        Which would be really neatio.

      • 104 Susan P April 9, 2014 at 18:06

        Okay, let’s do it then.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:53

        How?

      • 106 Susan P April 10, 2014 at 17:10

        I will need to think on that.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:09

        Okay, then.

      • 108 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister March 31, 2014 at 22:03

        Okay! But you must carry my basket, as I have a feeling you’ll be recommending I listen to a lot of new music.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:23

        And I’m sure you’ll have recommendations for me too!

      • 110 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 04:00

        Oh, yes. I think I will…

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:02

        Coolio!

      • 112 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 20:20

        :)

  12. 113 technophile9 March 27, 2014 at 17:19

    But is Daddy Salami aiming for Ruber, or Schwarz?

    • 114 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:27

      Anyone he can reach, I would guess.

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:46

        Yup. I think you got it there, Susan.

      • 116 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:50

        *nods wisely*

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:41

        *immediately tries to do the same thing* *and attempts the squinty eye look*

      • 118 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 19:44

        *contains her giggles as the Professor attempts squinty eye look*

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 22:25

        Oh, rats! I suppose I look funny?

      • 120 Susan P March 29, 2014 at 12:59

        I wouldn’t know how you look.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:12

        I thought you said you would! Or did. Or…dadblameit!

      • 122 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 13:36

        It all depends on who I am and on what day I am that.

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:23

        That sounds professorish.

      • 124 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 21:08

        Is that so? Well. I must consider what to do next.

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 21:12

        Considering is fun.

      • 126 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 21:40

        Depends upon what you are considering.

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:22

        Never consider the professor. Too dangerous.

      • 128 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 12:40

        You so deserve it.

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:23

        Deserve what?

    • 130 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:29

      Probably…I would guess Schwarz. Take his frustration–well, maybe not. Ruber was the one that him. Probably Ruber! What do you make of that?

      • 131 technophile9 March 29, 2014 at 16:50

        I would have thought Ruber too. He has severely annoyed Daddy Salami…

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:31

        Which isn’t wise.

  13. 133 Angeline M March 27, 2014 at 14:45

    I love Daddy Salami’s laugh, vulture-like or not. I think Schwarz drove him to pick up that knife, and should have known better. And now I hope he knows enough to run like the wind.
    Ruber and MM going out together again? Interesting.

    • 134 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:28

      I’m with you. The laugh is crazy fun.

      • 135 Angeline M March 27, 2014 at 22:06

        Ah, a kindred spirit.

      • 136 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:48

        Indeed. It makes me laugh every time.

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:47

        But have you Ladies tried to replicate it?

      • 138 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:51

        Actually, I have. And not without some success .

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:42

        Now that is cool! You can do a bit? I’ve tried, and I can’t.

      • 140 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 19:45

        That’s too bad. It’s lots of fun. If you do it while you’re walking down a crowded street it’s even more fun.

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 22:26

        Have you done that? *laughs*

      • 142 Susan P March 29, 2014 at 13:00

        I am a most peculiar woman.

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:12

        The professor appreciates that! *nods his head*

      • 144 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 13:37

        Does the professor relate to that?

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:23

        Yes. Mostly. Not the woman part.

      • 146 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 22:28

        Certainly not! It was asked in the spirit of camaraderie.

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:32

        Is Camaraderie a girl? That was bad, I know.

      • 148 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 12:43

        No, it’s a goat.

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:24

        *laughs*

      • 150 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 21:20

        :D

    • 151 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:23

      But, sadly, I don’t think Schwarz does! I think if you say the right things, DS is a great chap to talk with.

      Why so?

  14. 152 weggieboy March 27, 2014 at 14:34

    Wow! Daddy Salami has to have been pushed over the line here! Ruber better be ready to do the Knife Dance, and Schwarz ‘s starting to look like sausage!

    • 153 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:21

      Exactly! But maybe DS would spare his son.

  15. 154 The Dancing Rider March 27, 2014 at 13:53

    Oh! OH! Bold of Schwarz, but quite scary in the end. I love how DS ASSUMES Ruber will be bringing dinner – DS must always have someone to blame or … discipline! EEK! :/

    • 155 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:27

      He sure does. Never happy, is that DS. Do you think Schwarz will escape alive–and Ruber?

      • 156 The Dancing Rider March 27, 2014 at 15:37

        Oh yes. DS cannot afford to lose either one, ulitmately. ;-) But he may hurt Ruber, eek.

      • 157 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:25

        Yes…and Ruber could hurt him, you know!

      • 158 The Dancing Rider March 28, 2014 at 13:24

        I think DS knows that, and that’s what gives him pause….

      • 159 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:51

        Perhaps you’re right. Yes, I think so.

    • 160 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:29

      But Ruber knows how to get even.

      • 161 The Dancing Rider March 27, 2014 at 21:29

        Oh, yes, he does indeed Susan!

      • 162 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:47

        :D

    • 163 Simply Skeptical March 27, 2014 at 20:30

      Yeah, I just hate that assume dinner is covered thing….

      • 164 The Dancing Rider March 27, 2014 at 21:28

        Lol…..me, too!

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:55

        Me too…

  16. 166 FictionFan March 27, 2014 at 13:30

    Schwarzy is so brave!! I pity the Sausage – Schwarzy probably has a cunning plan. I bet his impersonation of DS’s laugh was wonderful…he’s soooo talented!! But isn’t Ruber rude? I think he’s been spending too much time with Manly-Man…

    • 167 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:26

      Schwarz did have a good imitation! DS didn’t like it, though. What? You mean, Ruber is being rude to DS? Didn’t he deserve it?

      • 168 FictionFan March 27, 2014 at 18:49

        Oh, the Sausage should learn to laugh at himself more, just like everyone else does. *wicked face* Young people should always be polite to their elders no matter how unreasonable those elders may be…don’t you agree, o ageless one? That’s why I’m always so polite to you…

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:45

        Yes, I suppose DS should… So should the professor.

        I do not! Can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to buck that rule…and I will one day! Elders can be such beasts. When you’re 82 like the professor and you meet a chap who is 96 (and I do know one) they think they’re your elder!

      • 170 FictionFan March 28, 2014 at 02:47

        The Professor doesn’t need to laugh at himself – he has us for that!

        Haha! You rebel! Go for it, I say! even if the 96-year-old gets mad and chases you, you should be able to outrun him…so long as you avoid trees…

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:39

        *laughs* That’s true. You laughed when I banged my head!

        lol Can’t you picture something like that? I used to be able to run fast. My ankles are giving out on me now.

      • 172 FictionFan March 28, 2014 at 23:42

        I did – I’m sorry! *giggles helplessly again* It’s such a lovely image though…

        You’re really falling apart, poor old C-W-W! We may have to get you a body transplant…

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 11:59

        Lovely? *lovely sound for FEF*

        I think I am. But I’m working on revamping myself as we speak.

      • 174 FictionFan March 31, 2014 at 16:00

        No need! I’m creating a cloned Colin Firth body for you to use…

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:49

        Yucketh! That man has worms.

      • 176 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 01:19

        *shocked face* How dare you, Prof Viciously Jealous???

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:41

        See? You know it’s true!

      • 178 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 15:08

        *disdainful face*

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:37

        Of me? *almost cries*

      • 180 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 23:47

        Serves you right! *relents though*

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:53

        *begins reading his Dicken’s book again*

      • 182 FictionFan April 2, 2014 at 15:26

        *laughing* Poor C-W-W! I reckon you should abandon it…and read The Martian instead!

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 17:21

        No! I just got to the good part…

      • 184 FictionFan April 3, 2014 at 00:22

        Oooh, which part? Chapter 2? *chuckles, then slinks away in shame at her own meanness*

      • 185 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:23

        That was mean! Chapter 4! *said rather proudly*

      • 186 FictionFan April 3, 2014 at 13:33

        *chuckles* Then you should be finished by 2124 at the latest! You may require a ouija board to let me know what you thought…

      • 187 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:47

        Humph! I’ll be alive then…

      • 188 FictionFan April 4, 2014 at 16:58

        *laughing* I was assuming that you would be. I, on the other hand…

      • 189 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 19:07

        Will be, too. I’ll help you out there.

      • 190 FictionFan April 5, 2014 at 01:05

        *laughing* That’s so sweet…and if I live for another 110 years, I’ll definitely need help!!! Not to mention copious supplies of wrinkle cream…

      • 191 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:29

        No wrinkle cream. That’s cheating.

      • 192 FictionFan April 7, 2014 at 20:15

        You just want me to look like Gagool, don’t you?

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:59

        You? Impossible! You’re too nice of a lady. And looks got nothing to do with it, you vain beast!

      • 194 FictionFan April 8, 2014 at 13:45

        *laughing* I reckon if Gagool had been allowed to have wrinkle cream, she’d have been a much nicer person…

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 23:54

        I don’t think so at all!

    • 196 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:30

      You are right FF, he needs to learn to laugh at himself.

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:47

        And the professor might.

      • 198 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:51

        Might what?

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:42

        Learn to laugh at myself, too.

      • 200 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 19:45

        It begins by not taking oneself too seriously.

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 22:26

        And I don’t! So I’m on a good way…

      • 202 Susan P March 29, 2014 at 13:01

        Make sure you tie your sneakers before you get too far and trip over them.

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:12

        *chuckles* Does the professor strike you as the sort of chap who would leave his sneakers untied?!

      • 204 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 13:41

        Boy howdy.

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:24

        *laughs* That’s an interest…

      • 206 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 22:29

        Just be careful. We only have half a dozen professors left.

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:32

        Do you really think there’s a bunch of professors?

      • 208 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 12:44

        I’m the secretary for keeping Professors in line. Of course I know how many there are. Most days.

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:24

        How many today?

      • 210 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 21:20

        How many are out of line? all but three.

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:38

        *laughing* Oh dear…

      • 212 Susan P April 3, 2014 at 12:28

        and they are on the edge. But none of them are brave enough to go skinny dipping.

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:28

        Of course they’re not, dadblameit!

      • 214 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 13:56

        Dadblameit, I can’t for the life of me figure out why you wouldn’t go skinny dipping. You’d think it was illegal or something.

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:36

        It is! Isn’t it?

      • 216 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 20:36

        Depends on where you are. Now if you decide to streak in public, you might get pulled over.

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:11

        The professor wouldn’t do that!

      • 218 Susan P April 7, 2014 at 17:33

        Ah! A modest man. I got a “like” on my Splash post from someone who has a blog about nudist colonies and such. I’m still laughing.

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:34

        *laughing* That is funny. Harry and I would rather play some baseball, I think.

      • 220 Susan P April 8, 2014 at 12:07

        Harry would agree with that. I will sit under the tree and wear a hat and crochet.

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 23:04

        And you’d see how horrible I play.

      • 222 Susan P April 9, 2014 at 18:02

        Not if I was crocheting.

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:51

        That’s a good point…it would be fun.

      • 224 Susan P April 10, 2014 at 17:06

        You could charge admission.

      • 225 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:08

        To see us play? *likes the idea*

      • 226 Susan P April 11, 2014 at 15:00

        Mmm-hmmm

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:51

        To see the worst player ever, P.VJ.

      • 228 Susan P April 12, 2014 at 14:37

        I would say, rather, to see the Punchiest player ever.

      • 229 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:03

        *laughing* That’s probably extremely accurate.

      • 230 Susan P April 14, 2014 at 14:24

        I suppose it might be. GRIN

      • 231 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:22

        I think you’d laugh at me.

      • 232 Susan P April 14, 2014 at 20:40

        Only when laughing is appropriate. For instance, if you accidentally tripped and fell over Mr. Ratherquite, I would not laugh at you. I might, however, laugh at Mr. R’s response. See?

      • 233 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:11

        I do. And that makes sense. I’d like to throw a curve ball, please.

      • 234 Susan P April 15, 2014 at 20:46

        You get three strikes. One, ready GO

      • 235 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:00

        *throws a fast ball*

      • 236 Susan P April 17, 2014 at 20:07

        Oh my goodness, you knocked out the Ump and it’s DS!

      • 237 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:01

        *laughing* He deserved it!

      • 238 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 16:39

        Shnoddy should write about that ball game for the Times.

      • 239 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:05

        That would be neat. *writing that down* Thanks, Susan. Oh, and I was thinking of doing another themed week with you helping out–if you’d like.

      • 240 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 17:09

        I would SO love to help make mayhem in the PL with you! It was fun fun fun last time. What do you have in mind?

      • 241 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:43

        Awesome! I’ll shoot you an email either today or Monday–if that’s fine. Thanks, Susan!

      • 242 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 18:03

        As you wish. I await this news with great anticipation.

      • 243 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 18:06

        Awesome!

  17. 244 L. Marie March 27, 2014 at 13:17

    I would go with Ruber and Manly-Man if I were Schwarz! Manothunder, I don’t know why he sat there with Daddy Salami. He must have a death wish.

    • 245 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:26

      Haha, I think he might be just a bit…dull…maybe. I don’t know. MM and Ruber are far safer company!

  18. 246 Bethy March 27, 2014 at 13:13

    Yikes. I have known guys to act like that when there was no dinner in sight. I do hope that everything works out okay! Poor Schwarz!

    • 247 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:25

      *laughs* Don’t you feel bad for DS too? I think he’s just trying to put on a good show for a guest. I mean, he expected Ruber to help.

      • 248 Susan P March 27, 2014 at 19:30

        I don’t feel bad for DS. He totally enjoys the drama.

      • 249 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:47

        That’s right on… *laughing*

      • 250 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 11:52

        *snickers*

      • 251 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:43

        *eats one*

      • 252 Susan P March 28, 2014 at 19:46

        *immediately fills a bag with licorice and throws it at pvj

      • 253 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 22:27

        But why? *the professor eats all the licorice*

      • 254 Susan P March 29, 2014 at 13:01

        Because I can.

      • 255 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:13

        Perhaps you should do that sort of thing more often. And with taffy.

      • 256 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 13:42

        *goes into her stash of salt water taffy and flings it into the frozen north* Enjoy!

      • 257 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:24

        That’s too general! You need throw it to me.

      • 258 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 21:10

        Retrieves the salt water taffy and sends it to the Professor at 1211 Professor Road, Never never land.

      • 259 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 21:13

        How did you know my address? *laughing*

      • 260 Susan P March 31, 2014 at 21:35

        Bwahahaha!

      • 261 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 02:22

        Spit-tooey!

      • 262 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 12:37

        Hey! That was rude. I’m going to write a letter to…to…SOMEONE!

      • 263 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:22

        You can send all complaints to the professor.

      • 264 Bethy March 30, 2014 at 18:37

        Um. No, I don’t think I do feel bad for DS. Did he ask Ruber to help? I mean you can’t just assume things.

      • 265 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:32

        That’s quite right. No, he didn’t. He just assumed it. Ruber could be in trouble, though.

      • 266 Bethy March 31, 2014 at 13:30

        Isn’t Ruber always in trouble?
        And DS needs to learn not to assume! I mean it’s hard to do, but really.

      • 267 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 20:17

        Yes, and I think that’s because DS is always around. He should leave, don’t you think?

        I agree. The professor never does it… *knows that’s wrong*

      • 268 Bethy April 1, 2014 at 16:07

        You mean DS is the reason Ruber’s always in trouble? Hmmm. It would be interesting to see what Ruber’s like without DS around!

      • 269 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:39

        He gets mean and leads armies, I think! That’s what Jazzy says.

      • 270 Bethy April 3, 2014 at 15:12

        well that’s interesting!

      • 271 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 02:00

        And scary!

  19. 272 Debbie March 27, 2014 at 13:13

    Don’t tell us Schwarz is going to BE dinner!! Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time!

    • 273 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:25

      That has to be it. Schwarz should run while he can!

  20. 274 PorterGirl March 27, 2014 at 12:59

    Poor Schwarz! No dinner, eh? That is upsetting. I wonder where Ruber and MM are going? Do you think I could join them?

    • 275 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:24

      Sure! I’m almost positive that MM would bring you along. They’re probably going to get dinner somewhere nice, and then go on an adventure!

      • 276 PorterGirl March 27, 2014 at 14:29

        That sounds like a pretty perfect evening out. Food and adventure! My favourite things!

      • 277 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:30

        For sure! And hopefully a fight.

      • 278 PorterGirl March 27, 2014 at 14:39

        Yes! I’ll bring my hat, just in case.

      • 279 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:21

        Oh, that sounds awesome. And bring a sword…

      • 280 PorterGirl March 28, 2014 at 08:58

        Good idea!

      • 281 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:39

        Thanks, Lucy!

  21. 282 Brenda March 27, 2014 at 12:59

    I hope he uses that knife to cut the tension! Whew! LOL Schwarz is in the wrong place!

    • 283 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 14:23

      He sure is! Wouldn’t you run if you were him?

      • 284 Brenda March 27, 2014 at 17:58

        Definitely. :-)

      • 285 Professor VJ Duke March 27, 2014 at 23:36

        But there might be a part of you that would want to stay behind too…

      • 286 Brenda March 28, 2014 at 00:40

        Not me!! Maybe the professor is torn…

      • 287 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 18:25

        Haha! Love you for your sureness. Well, I am! What should I do?

      • 288 Brenda March 28, 2014 at 20:06

        Hmm, perhaps Daddy Salami needs your help…

      • 289 Professor VJ Duke March 28, 2014 at 22:35

        But he…might be mean about it!

      • 290 Brenda March 29, 2014 at 01:13

        Hmm, you will have to have compassion for his dark side. Or pop him in the nose. You choose.

      • 291 Professor VJ Duke March 31, 2014 at 12:03

        Oh dear. Such hard choices!


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