Ripping Book Review: The Alchemist

WARNING: Ripping Book Reviews are solely the judgments of Professor VJ Duke on an unlucky book that has caused him much repulsion—in one way or another. Therefore, blame must be put on the author and nobody else. With that in mind, read on—if you are brave enough to take it.

DSC00433THE ALCHEMIST by PAULO COELHO

I’m glad this book came around.

You see, the professor was looking for a decent book—with decent rippability.

Then I found this sucker.

Well…let’s rip!

The novel begins with a prologue. A two page prologue. And I rather wish it hadn’t begun that way.

Right under the prologue title there’s a little inscription: Translated by Clifford E. Landers.

I am thankful for his translation—mostly, that is. While he was at it, Mr. Landers should have finished translating it, though. It would have made more sense that way.

Of course, it could be the author’s fault that the prologue doesn’t make any sense, but I’d rather blame the translator.

Especially, this early in the book.

Moving on.

The novel’s first real sentence (the prologue just doesn’t count; wipe it from your mind) is this:

The boy’s name was Santiago.

I’m heartily glad Coelho decided to tell us. It was genuinely nice of him. And it’s an easy place to flip back to: first page, first sentence.

For the boy’s name isn’t mentioned throughout the whole book again.

He’s always referred to as ‘the boy.’ Or something like that.

It was very baffling at first, until Coelho explained it here:

He [‘the boy’] started to read the book he had bought. On the very first page it described a burial ceremony. And the names of the people involved were very difficult to pronounce. If he ever wrote a book, he thought, he would present one person at a time so that the reader wouldn’t have to worry about memorizing a lot of names.

A good practice, I’d say. And very noble. Of course, ‘the boy’ could also not mention character names ever. Like happened to him.

It would be sweet revenge.

On Coelho.

I should add, all of the characters in the book don’t have names. (Except for ‘the boy’s second girlfriend, but she doesn’t count since she’s in it for a second or two—give or take one.)

For instance, here are a few of the characters: the Alchemist, the Englishman, the boy.

The list goes on. Poor nameless chaps.

I am in error. The king in the beginning has a name. But he stole it from another king. So it doesn’t count.

The novel is very simple.

It follows ‘the boy’ as he tries to embrace his Personal Legend. Which happens to be finding a treasure by the pyramids.

You see, ‘the boy’ has recurring dreams about finding a treasure by the pyramids. So, he sells his sheep, leaves home, and sets off on a journey to get his treasure and achieve his personal legend.

A wonder really.

When he gets to the pyramids (and after he is beaten nicely by a few decent chaps) ‘the boy’ finds that the treasure is, in fact, back home where he used to feed his sheep.

The king (whose name was stolen) and the Alchemist should be blamed for this. They knew all along. If I’d been the boy, I would have been forced to hunt them down and punish them.

Also, his dreams should be blamed. Since they were lying to him.

But dreams do that.

They’re not to be trusted.

Especially, when they’re sent by Coelho.

One more incident should be mentioned.

Before ‘the boy’ can achieve his Personal Legend, he has to dodge being murdered, and turn himself into the wind.

This is challenge, I thought. Love to see how he pulls it off, I thought again.

And it’s simple.

Once you get the equation right.

Here’s how it works:

First, you have to convince the wind that it wants to hear about “limitless possibilities of people and the winds.”

(The boy did this miraculously. He just said it. And the wind was interested. And, yes, he really holds a conversation with wind.)

Next, you have to make the wind mad, and convince it that it doesn’t know what love is. Which ‘the boy’ does well. (Better than the masters could do, I’ll bet.)

The next step is tricky. It requires talking to the sun. And it’s hard to look at the sun. So, first, the wind has to blow and blot out the sun with sand.

This was accomplished.

Then, you must commence to speaking with the sun.

‘The boy’ asks the sun if it knows what love is.

And the sun says: From where I am…I can see the Soul of the World. It communicates with my soul, and together we cause the plants to grow…

The sun continues on in this fashion. It becomes obvious that, not only doesn’t it know what it’s going on about, it doesn’t know what love is either.

So, after convincing the sun that it doesn’t know what love is, you have to talk to ‘the hand that wrote all.’

And that’s the ticket.

You’ll become wind in a jiffy.

Too bad Coelho didn’t try it out and become wind before he wrote this novel.

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489 Responses to “Ripping Book Review: The Alchemist”


  1. 1 Hazy May 28, 2014 at 15:07

    I remember reading this ages ago. Though I really don’t seem to remember what it was all about… but I do remember the boy. Just him I think. I don’t think I liked the book very much.

    The only other book I read of Coelho’s is Veronika Decides to Die, because I was curious why she wanted to die. I found it better than this one. :D

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke May 28, 2014 at 18:19

      Yeah, it was a bit lacking, Hazy! No sword fights, and the boy was the only real character.

      Now the title did interest me. Why did she want to die?

      • 3 Hazy May 29, 2014 at 23:48

        Indeed it was. A bit of a forgettable story, isn’t it?

        She was very depressed or something, and then she fails to die and wakes up in a mental institution and learns some life lessons. It’s quite interesting actually, or I thought it’s better than The Alchemist at the least.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke May 30, 2014 at 13:01

        It is!

        See, that does sound interesting, you know. And worth reading.

      • 5 Hazy June 5, 2014 at 12:42

        It was! from what I can remember, at least. Someone borrowed the book from me and never returned it! I guess she found the story really good.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke June 5, 2014 at 14:24

        You should declare war!

      • 7 Hazy June 9, 2014 at 11:32

        I did! Weatherly was even getting his weapons ready. Then we had a truce.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke June 9, 2014 at 13:35

        Well, truces are a part of war, for sure.

  2. 9 Painting Pundit April 5, 2014 at 16:02

    Still trying to figure out the wind thing? Can’t picture it so skipping the whole thing! Better things to do than waste time with this one Thanks so much for saving me the trouble! But I did enjoy a good laugh at the description!! :)

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:32

      Aw, my pleasure, P! Thanks for giving my review a read. I ripped it to shreds! *proud professorish face*

  3. 11 MissTiffany April 3, 2014 at 14:58

    I remember reading this book a long time ago…but most of the details are fuzzy now. Obviously the nameless characters weren’t very memorable to me.

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:59

      Maybe you’ll reread it?

      • 13 MissTiffany April 4, 2014 at 22:06

        Perhaps.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:22

        No, no! You don’t want to.

      • 15 MissTiffany April 7, 2014 at 16:40

        I’ve got a much longer list of books I’d rather read than this one. So no worries, Professor.

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:30

        I’ve such a long list too. I do hope no Austen are on your list… FictionFan doesn’t want you reading such stuff.

      • 17 MissTiffany April 9, 2014 at 20:10

        Somehow I don’t believe you – and I’ve already read all of Austen’s books, Professor…though I happily reread this throughout the year. :)

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 01:25

        You’re read them all? Rats and a Heifer. I think one of her books is supposedly more humorous.

      • 19 MissTiffany April 10, 2014 at 15:32

        Of course! Some of them I’ve read more than once. Actually I’ve read all of them except Mansfield park more than once. I couldn’t tell you which one – I find all of her writing has humor and wit to it.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:01

        Well, MissT, perhaps I should try another, then.

      • 21 MissTiffany April 11, 2014 at 13:44

        Yes yes! Perhaps you should! Are you up for another Twain-Austen exchange?

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:48

        Ooo, really?

      • 23 MissTiffany April 11, 2014 at 22:02

        It would be fun!

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:51

        Yes, I think it would be. FEF wants me to read another, you know.

      • 25 MissTiffany April 17, 2014 at 21:31

        I want you to read another too! Maybe Northanger Abbey this time? Or Emma.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:11

        Well–which is longer?

      • 27 MissTiffany April 18, 2014 at 20:58

        Emma is longer.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 13:01

        Yes…that would be tough. Hopefully a short one?

      • 29 MissTiffany April 24, 2014 at 17:43

        Northanger Abbey then. And which Twain shall you inflict on me this time?

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:08

        Well, I’ve got to get it first. Haveth not I. Hmm…maybe Innocents Abroad…?

      • 31 MissTiffany April 25, 2014 at 20:26

        I’ll look it up. I will have to hunt down a copy too.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:55

        I’ll see if I can find that book…

      • 33 MissTiffany April 28, 2014 at 13:43

        Great! I’ll let you know when I’ve got my copy too.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 15:12

        Oh dear…now I must search.

  4. 35 ladycheetah7 April 3, 2014 at 12:52

    This rip came as a breath of fresh air. I
    just finished two of John Grisham novels and they were mechanical and boring. I must say that the boy talking to the sun and wind got me interested. Not to mention him finding his own legend. .lol. That is hilarious.

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:39

      It is hilarious! *laughs* Maybe I should rip a Grisham! Yes, and he turns himself into wind, isn’t that a wonder?

      • 37 ladycheetah7 April 4, 2014 at 01:51

        A wonder indeed. Just so you know John Grisham doesn’t write classics. His novels are contemporary and geared more toward the judicial system, corruption, you know the usual. Runaway Jury and Pelican brief were both movies and in my humble opinion, the movie Runaway Jury was better than the book.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 02:09

        I’ve seen Pelican Brief. Did you read the book?

  5. 39 Simply Skeptical April 3, 2014 at 11:02

    Such controversy. I do believe you do this on purpose prof. to keep us on our toes…

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:26

      The professor is probably sweet about the whole thing, but I’m not sure…

  6. 41 lifeconfusions April 3, 2014 at 09:00

    But I heard that Alchemist was a good book :( Reading your review makes me wanna skip it :/
    I mean a book with out names? I mean really? As far as I think giving names to a character makes it much more personal and involving for the reader, It can make reader connect more to the story and everything.
    This seems like one bad book that needs to be skipped forever by me. Not my cup of tea :|

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:25

      Oh goodness. The professor did rip it rather badly, huh?

      That’s what I thought to. The professor found the book dadblamery. You know, Zee, you could always read it, and then we could have speaks about it. Maybe you can rip it, too? *smiles at the prospect*

      • 43 lifeconfusions April 4, 2014 at 17:26

        Ah, Thanks for the kind offer, Only if I had enough timeI would have loved it ! :(
        But I can maybe still give you suggestion to rip some books?! :P

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 19:07

        Don’t worry about it! And certainly! Especially if it’s one the professor owns!

  7. 45 Jackie April 2, 2014 at 23:13

    Love your rips and this was no exception! Bravo!

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:19

      Many thanks, Jackie! It was a zinger!

  8. 47 Warrior (@WarwarWarrior) April 2, 2014 at 15:15

    Here here. I must say I quite agree with the ripping. If I had been the nameless boy I would have gone back and murdered the two who had sent me on the long journey.

    Where I lost much money and even more time.

    That was the part that stuck out to me most about reading the book. The rest was a…a..a baloney sandwich.

    • 48 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 17:18

      Warby! Awesome to see you around. *smiles* Yes, lots of money. He was robbed twice, I think, and the time waste was horrific.

      *laughing* I couldn’t agree more! The man’s philosophy was quite…quite…goodness!

      • 49 Warrior (@WarwarWarrior) April 2, 2014 at 22:42

        : D

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:18

        That a boy, Warby. Frown on the smileys.

      • 51 Warrior (@WarwarWarrior) April 3, 2014 at 21:56

        A…wasn’t that a smiley?

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 02:04

        No. The off-limit smileys are yellowish and circular-ish. You did well!

  9. 53 Angeline M April 2, 2014 at 14:58

    I must commend you for being truthfully true in your rip. I think the first time I’ve seen anyone do this to Coelho, he is seen by most as quite coolio…hahaha I make myself laugh sometimes, but I haven’t had enough coffee yet. I read this a looong time ago so really don’t remember the no name game. I think an author puts on this kind of sage and wisened demeanor and everyone starts falling all over themselves believing what everyone else believes about how wise the author is…. and no one is brave enough to rip them. So I must say bravo to you!

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 17:16

      Thanks so much, Angeline! Yes, the professor was brave enough to do it. (I think some may be a bit cranky about it, too.) The coolio is funny…do you have cherry coffee?

      • 55 Angeline M April 2, 2014 at 18:24

        For you I would make some.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:05

        Aw! And I’d love it, you know.

  10. 57 Me, Myself and DIY April 2, 2014 at 11:13

    I freely admit I am not a reader of books with such depth and vastness (purely by choice, not by lack of ability of course), but I do enjoy your ripping posts! Rip on Professor!

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:57

      I definitely understand your point. (The professor prefers action, adventure, and fighting!) The professor actually won this book…and then it needed ripped.

  11. 59 Catherine April 2, 2014 at 00:49

    Love that last sentence. I’ll be sure to avoid this book now, too!

    • 60 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:55

      Yes, it’s dadblamery! The good part was treasure hunting. Do you like that?

      • 61 Catherine April 3, 2014 at 03:23

        Treasure hunting? Most definitely! I’ve never had the chance to do it, though.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:21

        It’s fun! Doesn’t it seem like a professorish pastime?

      • 63 Catherine April 4, 2014 at 01:58

        Oh, totally! Have you found much treasure?

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 02:10

        Well…truth be told…I’m horrible at it! But I bet you’d be much better. So it’d be fun.

      • 65 Catherine April 4, 2014 at 02:59

        I don’t know about that…yet. Maybe I WOULD be good! I just have to try. And it sounds fun whether treasure is found or not, so it’s a win-win, really.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 13:25

        It is! I’m sure we’d get up to some dadblamery.

      • 67 Catherine April 5, 2014 at 00:57

        Haha! Yes, and maybe even find some treasure!

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:26

        Yes! And rubies. I would like some of those.

      • 69 Catherine April 7, 2014 at 14:36

        Rubies would be nice! Are they your favourite?

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:15

        Catherine, I love red! So, yes! How about you?

      • 71 Catherine April 8, 2014 at 02:37

        I think emeralds are pretty, but then again rubies ARE nice and red…and then diamonds are, of course, the most valuable. I think I would take any kind of gem I find on that treasure hunt!

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 22:55

        Now, what an interest! I didn’t realize diamonds were the most valuable. Let’s go after those!

      • 73 Catherine April 9, 2014 at 00:13

        Yes, let’s!

        At least, I think they’re the most valuable…perhaps it’s the most valuable thing you can expect to find in a treasure chest.

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 01:31

        It sounds good to me. But you’ll have to carry a sword! (I’ll give you one.)

      • 75 Catherine April 9, 2014 at 04:14

        Thanks! A treasure hunt just isn’t complete without a sword.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:35

        Yes, that’s how I feel. Of course, we’ll have to take a chariot.

      • 77 Catherine April 9, 2014 at 21:50

        Even better! Hopefully you know how to drive one, because I don’t!

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 01:30

        The professor does! It’s fast though. And you’ll be expected to shoot a bow from the back. (I’m still working on that.)

      • 79 Catherine April 10, 2014 at 02:34

        Now that I have! (I just don’t have any arrows, but that can be fixed.)

        A bow, sword, and carriage? This is sounding more exciting by the minute.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 19:37

        Do you really? That is so neatio, Catherine! You must help me shoot better then.

        It is, huh? It will be something, for sure.

      • 81 Catherine April 11, 2014 at 01:22

        I’ll try, but I’m not the best either… :)

        Yep! Hopefully we don’t run into any pirates, but I’m sure that with all our weapons we’ll be able to fight them off if we do.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:37

        Well…I’m sure you’re better than me!

        Or, we could join them…if they were the nice type.

      • 83 Catherine April 12, 2014 at 01:16

        Thanks!

        That’s true…like if they were pirates who don’t do anything! Or something like that.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:54

        Pillaging is fine, don’t you think?

      • 85 Catherine April 15, 2014 at 00:06

        Hmm, I didn’t think of that! Yes, it’s probably fine. That is, unless the people we’re pillaging have weapons as well…that could be bloody.

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:22

        Very true…then, it’s a war, and we’d have to swim away. But I can’t swim…

      • 87 Catherine April 16, 2014 at 22:53

        Oh dear. Perhaps we could borrow the pirates’ ship…? It might make things easier.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:08

        Yes! You mean…steal it?

      • 89 Catherine April 17, 2014 at 17:09

        Well…we MIGHT be able to give it back, but that’s a very small chance. So I guess I do mean steal it! But nicely, of course.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:32

        Yes, kinda like Jack Sparrow did.

      • 91 Catherine April 18, 2014 at 20:03

        Haha! Yes, we’d follow his example.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 13:00

        I always liked Norrington best, which is a wonder. (I bet I spelled his name wrong.)

      • 93 Catherine April 22, 2014 at 03:06

        Me too! Strange how the directors didn’t seem to.

        Looks right to me! But the again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it spelled…

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 14:22

        I know! They killed him, and it was murder.

        Well, me neither! *laughs*

      • 95 Catherine April 23, 2014 at 02:44

        The murderers. How dare they.

        Well, then it’s right!

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:25

        Yes, yes! We should hunt them done. *laughing*

        the new spelling, if there is a problem.

      • 97 Catherine April 24, 2014 at 01:07

        We WOULD have a convenient pirate ship and weapons to help us if we wished to do so…

        I’m sure Disney wouldn’t mind at all if we changed the spelling a bit!

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:55

        Yes! Let’s take the ship, for sure.

        We could sue them for changing our spelling!

      • 99 Catherine April 25, 2014 at 02:30

        I like that idea! We’d get treasure AND all that money from the lawsuit. Quite a productive day, I’d say.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:09

        It would be! Then we could just cruise around sinking other ships.

      • 101 Catherine April 26, 2014 at 01:01

        *laughing* We’d gain a lot of enemies that day!

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 16:12

        We sure would!

  12. 103 Julie Harris April 1, 2014 at 22:51

    Once again, enjoyed your ripping book review :) No names for the people? And the wind and sun are characters, too? Strange, indeed!

    • 104 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:47

      It was strange! And many thanks! The treasure was cool though. Wouldn’t you like to go dig up a treasure?

  13. 105 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 17:56

    I really liked the book. Maybe you need to read it in Portuguese. I have a copy in Portuguese if you’d like to borrow it. ;)

    • 106 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:43

      You liked it? Really? But…but…what about the nameless characters?

      • 107 Susan P April 3, 2014 at 12:48

        What’s in a name?

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:36

        Everything! I think…

      • 109 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 15:25

        chocolate?

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:47

        No. Just…well, I’m not sure.

      • 111 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 21:45

        Orange sherbet?

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:20

        *gag*

      • 113 Susan P April 7, 2014 at 17:45

        *takes away orange sherbet and substitutes cherry*

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:43

        *eats it all and then asks you if you’d like some*

      • 115 Susan P April 8, 2014 at 12:21

        No, I will eat the disdained orange.

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 23:13

        Maybe I will.

      • 117 Susan P April 9, 2014 at 18:13

        Too late.

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:55

        You threw it out!

      • 119 Susan P April 10, 2014 at 17:17

        *shrug* You didn’t want it.

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:12

        Oh dear…but…no!

      • 121 Susan P April 11, 2014 at 15:17

        What? Who needs a rotten orange?

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:56

        You were trying to feed me a rotten one?!

      • 123 Susan P April 12, 2014 at 14:51

        No. Not at all. I was trying to eat it.

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:08

        Oh, I see.

      • 125 Susan P April 14, 2014 at 14:17

        grin

    • 126 deanthefish April 1, 2014 at 21:51

      I think you just like everything Portuguese without reserve.

      • 127 Susan P April 2, 2014 at 00:59

        Actually, the author is Brazilian.

    • 128 deanthefish April 2, 2014 at 01:38

      I couldn’t tell from the man’s name… same language, no?

      • 129 Susan P April 2, 2014 at 12:41

        Same language,Mr. Fish? Well, that’s almost debatable. Language tends to “morph” once it is removed into another environment. Roughly speaking (no pun intended), Brazilian Portuguese is to continental Portuguese what American English is to British English.

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 13:01

        I wonder where I figure in.

      • 131 Susan P April 3, 2014 at 12:50

        Macão.

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:37

        That’s me.

      • 133 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 15:27

        So you’ve found yourself?

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:47

        Yes. I think Paulo helped me do that.

      • 135 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 21:46

        He’s a wise man.

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:20

        Really?

      • 137 Susan P April 7, 2014 at 17:47

        Really really.

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:44

        In comparison with the dull professor, you’re right!

      • 139 Susan P April 8, 2014 at 12:23

        Dull as a roller coaster – that’s you.

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 23:14

        And no peaks on this one either.

      • 141 Susan P April 9, 2014 at 18:13

        pbbbbbf

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:56

        (What does it mean?)

      • 143 Susan P April 10, 2014 at 17:18

        I think you know, sir.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:13

        I do not, dadblameit!

      • 145 Susan P April 11, 2014 at 15:19

        Well, they say that where ignorance is bliss, tis foolish to be wise.

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:57

        I disagree with that saying!

      • 147 Susan P April 12, 2014 at 14:54

        You can’t outrun the Universe.

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:09

        But maybe the professor has.

      • 149 Susan P April 14, 2014 at 14:20

        If you think that, it is only because the Universe lets you think that.

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:19

        It does lie to me from time to time.

      • 151 Susan P April 14, 2014 at 20:34

        A problem we all face from time to time.

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:09

        Oh dear to that.

      • 153 Susan P April 15, 2014 at 20:43

        molasses.

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:58

        But what about it?

      • 155 Susan P April 17, 2014 at 20:02

        Sticky.

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:58

        You know, though, Susan, I love molasses cookies.

      • 157 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 16:34

        I could send you some when I make them next. If you wanted some.

        And also, OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the waterfall on the blog.

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:54

        That would be very nice of you!

        *smiling big time* Many thanks! I could send you the pic, if you want. I like it too. I’d like to swim there.

      • 159 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 17:01

        Yes, please.

        Consider it done!

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:36

        Okay. Let me make a note. At the wrong place to send it now.

        *smiles*

      • 161 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 17:58

        Okay. I will remind you if I don’t have it by Christmas.

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 18:03

        Haha, okay!

      • 163 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 18:16

        *eye twinkle*

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 12:50

        I wish I could twinkle my eyes.

      • 165 Susan P April 21, 2014 at 14:21

        Oh dear. It’s not something YOU do, the eyes have it.

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 20:52

        Oh. I wonder if mine have it, then.

      • 167 Susan P April 22, 2014 at 23:57

        I rather think that you do have a twinkle in your eye.

      • 168 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 00:49

        I wonder if I do now…I’d like to test this.

      • 169 Susan P April 23, 2014 at 17:39

        How do you propose to test it?

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:58

        I’m not sure. Know any ways?

      • 171 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 00:05

        I don’t really have any difficulties with twinkling my eyes. It’s all so very personal, you see? Maybe Amelia can lend a hand?

      • 172 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:03

        I wonder how one starts the twinkling process.

      • 173 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 14:54

        Everyone has to discover what works best for himself.

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:10

        Even the ladies.

      • 175 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 18:39

        That makes it a little awkward, but generally speaking in English a broad sweeping remark including mens and womens are covered under the masculine specific.

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:51

        Aha! I’d always thought this might be the case. But, notice, professor wasn’t included.

      • 177 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 18:56

        I beg your pardon, Professor.

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 19:02

        I think you could be right, though.

      • 179 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 19:14

        I am occasionally.

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:44

        I know this!

      • 181 Susan P April 26, 2014 at 16:02

        curtseys

      • 182 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 16:16

        *bows*

      • 183 Susan P April 26, 2014 at 19:28

        Hey! Where did that top hat come from?

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 18:59

        From the store?

      • 185 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 14:03

        Why does it say, “Hogwarts” on the brim?

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 15:16

        What’s a hogwart? *laughing*

      • 187 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 16:22

        You are the one with it on your hat brim. You tell me.

      • 188 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:13

        I’ve got absolutely no idea. *takes out penknife and cuts it out*

      • 189 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 19:38

        Well. That settles that. Such violence, Professor.

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:43

        Hats can’t bleed, dadblameit!

      • 191 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 19:47

        Heifers can.

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:53

        Well, I suppose. If you stab them.

      • 193 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 19:55

        Ouch!

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 20:12

        Yes, it would be horrid.

    • 195 deanthefish April 2, 2014 at 12:53

      Ah… a very legalistic response. However, I must point out that since the Brazilian language is indeed Portuguese (albeit regionally influenced) my original comment remains relevant. :)

      • 196 Susan P April 3, 2014 at 12:49

        You are welcome to think whatever you like. :D

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:37

        How about me? I’m always fettered and trapped.

      • 198 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 15:26

        Set yourself free.

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:47

        I’m trying. Can you do it?

      • 200 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 21:46

        I already did…you read my blog.

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:20

        But I won’t do it that way!

      • 202 Susan P April 7, 2014 at 17:46

        Do or don’t. *shrug*

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:44

        Which should I choose?

      • 204 Susan P April 8, 2014 at 12:22

        Como quiser.

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 23:13

        What does it mean?

      • 206 Susan P April 9, 2014 at 18:13

        however you want it.

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:56

        That’s neatio. How do you say katana?

      • 208 Susan P April 10, 2014 at 17:17

        I don’t.

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:13

        Oh…oh…well…

      • 210 Susan P April 11, 2014 at 15:17

        *smirking*

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:56

        I would believe you never said it, I guess.

      • 212 Susan P April 12, 2014 at 14:53

        I have said it only in my head, having no reason to bring it up. Maybe I should ask Bethy’s husband how to say it.

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:08

        Yes! He’s a warrior, I hear.

      • 214 Susan P April 14, 2014 at 14:19

        Indeed he is. I hear that once Chuck Norris studied under him. ;)

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:19

        *shocked* NO!

      • 216 Susan P April 14, 2014 at 20:34

        Chuck only goes for the best, you know?

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:08

        Do you think he’d train me?

      • 218 Susan P April 15, 2014 at 20:42

        I think he’s retired.

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:58

        Would he make an exception for the professor?

      • 220 Susan P April 17, 2014 at 20:02

        Depends on whether he likes the Punchy Lands.

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:57

        I bet he’s never heard of it, dadblameit!

      • 222 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 16:33

        Not by that name, precisely, but he’s a Blues Brothers fan.

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:53

        Is Belushi connected with that somehow?

      • 224 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 17:01

        Not that I know of. You’ve never seen the Blues Brothers?

      • 225 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:35

        This could be dangerous to answer, huh?

    • 226 maryamchahine April 2, 2014 at 17:48

      I really liked the book too, Susan! So there you go, professor! First, it is Jane Austen and now it is Paulo Coelho. For shame! I must admit though that was a pretty good and deep rip ; )

      • 227 deanthefish April 2, 2014 at 18:16

        My dear girl, I’m not sure you know what you’re getting yourself into. We were at each other’s throats. People evidently feel very strongly about literature. Hello by the way, I’m deanthefish. ;D

      • 228 maryamchahine April 2, 2014 at 19:25

        Ahoy there to you deanthefish ; D

        Strong feelings about literature is always a good thing in my books : ) But indeed it has been getting a bit violent here. I think the professor enjoys stirring up trouble ; )

      • 229 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:07

        (Maybe I do!)

      • 230 Susan P April 2, 2014 at 18:41

        I agree about the rip, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one.

      • 231 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:07

        The professor is a pretzel.

      • 232 Susan P April 3, 2014 at 12:53

        Chocolate covered pretzel?

      • 233 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:42

        Hmm…I don’t know…would it be better if he was?

      • 234 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 15:27

        Sweeter for sure.

      • 235 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:50

        Then we better cut it.

      • 236 Susan P April 4, 2014 at 21:47

        Soft pretzel?

      • 237 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:22

        No, no, NO!

      • 238 Susan P April 7, 2014 at 17:47

        With mustard?

      • 239 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:44

        Mustard is good in…in…on eggrolls!

      • 240 Susan P April 8, 2014 at 12:24

        Ooooo, yes, hot mustard. I wish I could eat Chinese food.

      • 241 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 23:14

        Why can’t you?

      • 242 Susan P April 9, 2014 at 18:14

        Gluten

      • 243 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:57

        Dadblame gluten. There must be some gluten-free stuff?

      • 244 Susan P April 10, 2014 at 17:20

        Vegetables, fruit, rice,…meat that hasn’t been tampered with using seasoning with gluten…lotsa stuff.

      • 245 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:14

        Oh. Well, there’s lots of veggies in Chinese.

      • 246 Susan P April 11, 2014 at 15:21

        Veggies are not the issue. Gluten grains are the problem, and a lot of their sauces contain gluten.

      • 247 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:57

        Oh, and the sauces do make the meal. Well, we should home-make a few, then.

      • 248 Susan P April 12, 2014 at 14:54

        I’m still working on Tex-Mex. A lot of Thai food is gluten free.

      • 249 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:09

        And Thai is lovely food.

      • 250 Susan P April 14, 2014 at 14:20

        *nods vigorously*

      • 251 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:20

        *does the same*

      • 252 deanthefish April 3, 2014 at 00:43

        And ahoy in return maryamchahine!!

        Hmmm.. Well I reckon it depends on the type of literature. Sometimes it just comes down to personal taste.

      • 253 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:03

        *laughing* Oh dear! Did I really stir the pot with this one?

      • 254 maryamchahine April 3, 2014 at 05:23

        Most definitely. But it was all fun : D I still like the Alchemist and I like your book review.

      • 255 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:22

        Aw, thanks, M! I just get very vicious at times!

  14. 256 Simply Skeptical April 1, 2014 at 16:41

    Well now this is sure a mixed state of comments today. Is the Alchemist really worth its success? What is it that sets that spark even when talent is void? Of course this is not true in the case of Austen talent. P&P has deserved every bit of it’s success and attention. ;)

    • 257 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:42

      *shock* P&P is dadblamery! But, interestingly enough, I think mostly all the PFM are Austen fans!

    • 258 Simply Skeptical April 1, 2014 at 19:05

      :-)

  15. 259 cravesadventure April 1, 2014 at 16:31

    I was a little unwilling to read this a few years back as a book club selection, but was pleasantly surprised while reading it:) Happy Tuesday – Happy Reading!

    • 260 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:41

      Now, I must know who your favorite character was? I liked…Fatima, I think.

  16. 261 desertdweller29 April 1, 2014 at 16:16

    I read this many years ago and loved it. But I can do that. I can love this book AND still love your review! :)

    • 262 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:40

      Aw, thanks! Was the professor harsh, would you say?

      • 263 desertdweller29 April 1, 2014 at 18:50

        Not too harsh. You have to be in the right mood for this book. If I remember correctly, it was quite spiritual and spoke of the interconnectedness of all beings… If I read this on a Friday, I might have thought it was a bunch of nonsense. (Fridays are my clean the house days.) Ha!

      • 264 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:52

        *laughing lots* Isn’t cleaning the house vexing? It’s such dadblamery! I use plenty of Rats and Heifers on those days! But you’re right about the book.

  17. 265 Anja April 1, 2014 at 15:56

    Ouch. I particularly love this book and it seems you read it from a particularly bitter point of view to start. It is actually a beautiful story with much deeper meaning. Sad to see this one ripped.

    • 266 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:39

      Not at all! I was enjoying it immensely in the beginning. What do you like about it, Anja?

      • 267 Anja April 3, 2014 at 12:52

        I actually appreciate the deeper meaning in the story. It’s not just a flippant tale a about Santiago traveling and meeting people who the author didn’t give names. Really, giving them a name wouldn’t make any difference. Maybe he wanted you focused on their message or story than just a made up name.

      • 268 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:40

        There was definitely a deeper meaning, I agree. But he was messing with the professor’s dull mind, Anja!

  18. 269 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 15:42

    Coehlo is a cool name. I wonder how it sounds when you say it. :lol:

    Personally, you couldn’t have written a better persuasive rip. I really want to read this book now. I learned so much!!! Tis something I would read and enjoy immensely, Duke. How nice of the author to help the absent minded professor by putting the boys name on the first page. She’s obviously sweet.

    • 270 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 17:58

      koo el you, accent on the letter L. It’s the Portuguese word for rabbit.

      • 271 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:43

        Thanks, Susan. I knew you’d know. I thought it’d be like Coolio.

      • 272 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 20:04

        Rabbit…uh. Go figure. Thanks for helping me sort that name!!

      • 273 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 21:36

        Any time, Audrey. :D

    • 274 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:39

      Me too! We should ask Susan. I think she’d know. It’s like Coolio, I’ll bet! *knowing he’s far off*

      *laughing* The author is a he, Audith! You can’t want to read it, but maybe you should Maybe I was lying.

      • 275 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 1, 2014 at 20:03

        Yes, Susan is a wealth of information. So thankful she sorted that for us. I will try to say it, maybe. *as is she*

        Oh, yes, indeed!! *I admit to totally not paying attention to the author’s name and only to what you were writing* *hangs her head because she’s been caught* Only a proper woman would have all these romantic answers to nature. Oh, I’m going to read it. No doubts about that, Duke. *I kinda think you are…*

      • 276 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:27

        It was truthful review. In truth, this is true. However, I would be quite interested to see what you think! Maybe you’ll rip it? *he completely understands about the author’s name and such*

      • 277 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 2, 2014 at 19:53

        I think I will read it soon. Rip it? This I highly doubt, Sir! *she thanks you kindly*

      • 278 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:08

        Not literally, of course! Just shred it with a katana.

      • 279 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 3, 2014 at 02:11

        ….I was just having speaks with Dean…
        I don’t think so! I want to read it. Your katana is used for good, Duketh. ;)

      • 280 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:26

        What did Mr. Dean say? I hope he’s being righteous.

        Rats and a Heifer! But why?

      • 281 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 3, 2014 at 02:28

        You’d better look quickly.

        You were supposed to disagree lots…for a minute, then when I change my mind, you agree.

      • 282 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:30

        Why?

        I’m always agreeable!

      • 283 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 3, 2014 at 03:03

        I don’t know.

        Yes, you are for sure!

      • 284 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:20

        Me neither. But it sure sounded nice.

        No, I’m not!

      • 285 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 02:28

        Do you think I should follow Dean’s advice?

        *giggles because he’s making me smile again*

      • 286 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 13:21

        What was his advice? I don’t usually see things not meant for me–if that makes sense…

        *Smiles*

      • 287 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 15:50

        Ahh, we arw in cahoots to learn more about Schwarz….Dean tells me I may have what it takes to get you to open up more about his background and such….
        Oh, and I built a trap door so no sense in trying to run away. *winks and tilts her head*

      • 288 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 19:00

        *laughs* You probably do–which is a wonder and a half. Mr. Fish is being bad I suppose…

      • 289 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 4, 2014 at 20:01

        *smiles because you gave an inch* I am holding on tight to that ability. Naww, he just thinks it would be nice and helpful if you would elaborate on Schwarz more so I don’t see him as such a pain in the tushie. Mr. Fish says you have stories that would help me. Isn’t that nice of Mr. Fish to want to help me out…

      • 290 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 12:58

        Maybe it’s nice of him. But maybe he’s just trying to cause this old professor some trouble! But what sort of stories exactly?

      • 291 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 7, 2014 at 15:43

        I think he is and I love that he has come to me, as he has noticed my charming ability. I don’t know. I do wonder what he is talking about.

      • 292 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:25

        No one ever knows. Did you know he was Sepperl?

      • 293 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 8, 2014 at 02:16

        No, I didn’t know

      • 294 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 22:48

        Yes. Mr. Fish is Symphonist Sepperl.

      • 295 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 9, 2014 at 02:58

        So he’s the one with all the music talent. *Straightens her back and puts on a dimpled smile*

      • 296 Professor VJ Duke April 9, 2014 at 18:31

        Well…yes, of course! Of course. Yes. Yes. Umm…

      • 297 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 9, 2014 at 19:50

        *Hmms, too.* *waits to be formally introduced*

      • 298 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 01:17

        *extends hand* Hi, I’m VJ.

      • 299 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 10, 2014 at 01:35

        I know you…umm. *nods her way thata way* The music guy, Duke… *winks as she teases him*

      • 300 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 19:29

        Hmm…should I roar?

      • 301 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 10, 2014 at 20:15

        Hmmmm…yes, you should. *stands back while holding an umbrella as a shield*

      • 302 Professor VJ Duke April 10, 2014 at 20:21

        That’s a better shield for a water ballon, you know.

      • 303 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 10, 2014 at 20:44

        *sends the umbrella over to the other comment* *plugs her ears with cotton from the pillow*

      • 304 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:05

        Water is fun in the ears!

      • 305 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 11, 2014 at 21:35

        *swooshing business*

      • 306 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:51

        For sure!

      • 307 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 12, 2014 at 00:59

        *smiles, he got it*

      • 308 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:52

        *laughing*

      • 309 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 14, 2014 at 18:40

        You’re so smart and know me too well.

      • 310 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:41

        Very dull!

      • 311 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 14, 2014 at 19:27

        Yes, that too.

      • 312 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 18:59

        Yes, that’s me, for sure.

      • 313 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2014 at 19:14

        Dull

      • 314 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:47

        Yes.

      • 315 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2014 at 20:16

        Are you picking a fight with me…?

      • 316 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:46

        Of course not! Would I do that?

      • 317 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 16, 2014 at 04:08

        Smells like something you’d do…. *sniff sniff*

      • 318 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:05

        I wonder if the ‘sniff’ means you’re about to cry…

      • 319 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 16, 2014 at 20:47

        No, just smelling for proof.

      • 320 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:01

        Like DS might do.

      • 321 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 17, 2014 at 17:18

        *haha* Worries not that she understands a bit of DS

      • 322 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:40

        *thinks it really cool that she does*

      • 323 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 18, 2014 at 16:13

        *wants to know as much as possible*

      • 324 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:43

        Well, I understand, DS, you know.

      • 325 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 18, 2014 at 16:54

        Yes, this I’ve heard.

      • 326 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:30

        *wonders from where*

      • 327 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 18, 2014 at 17:32

        I told you…Mr. Fish commented on one of my comments to you. He told me you knew DS well, and had stories you could tell. You don’t remember me telling you this, Duke?

      • 328 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:59

        Didn’t he say that about Schwarz?

      • 329 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 20, 2014 at 05:59

        *drat!!*

      • 330 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 13:18

        You did that on purpose?! Now why?

      • 331 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 21, 2014 at 14:03

        I simply confused the two names. I hate when I do that to you.

      • 332 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 20:43

        You mean, mess up my messed up brain?

      • 333 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 21, 2014 at 20:52

        Confuse myself over the PL., or that too.

      • 334 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 21:16

        Is it badly confusing?

      • 335 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 21, 2014 at 21:35

        No, I just stupidly confused DS And Schwarz. Dummie, Auddie.

      • 336 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 13:58

        I’m sure if you would have thought about it, it wouldn’t have been a problem. You’re experiencing the professor’s sort of problems.

      • 337 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 22, 2014 at 15:49

        Do you think? I am?? Now what?? *giggles* (she’s full of questions)

      • 338 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 00:33

        Embrace it, I suppose. If you want. I love questions!

      • 339 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 23, 2014 at 02:41

        I’ve embraced it, trust me. *shows you her forehead which as the word embraced on it*

        Every time you welcome my questions my mind goes completely blank. How do you do that…

      • 340 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:23

        Oh dear. Have you been branded, Audith?

        That’s part of the game, you know.

      • 341 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 23, 2014 at 19:53

        It may just be a sticker…

        I was afraid of that.

      • 342 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:14

        Oh, I should have known twas a sticker.

      • 343 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 24, 2014 at 19:15

        Tisn’t! Do you like the invisable ink? *hand you the special pen*

      • 344 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:18

        I love it! Ho’d you know?

      • 345 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 25, 2014 at 02:45

        Know what?

      • 346 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:14

        That I liked it!

      • 347 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 25, 2014 at 19:36

        I know you like a good mystery, so I figured, why not.

      • 348 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:54

        *nods*

      • 349 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 26, 2014 at 21:16

        *takes her pen back*

      • 350 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 19:04

        *takes his ring*

      • 351 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 27, 2014 at 23:34

        NO! Duke, now that was wicked!

      • 352 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 14:48

        Well, it was fair!

      • 353 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:21

        Give you the pen back…
        *crosses her fingers*

      • 354 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:33

        *keeps the pen and ring* How about some lemonade?

      • 355 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:42

        BRAT! NO, I don’t want a thing! *laughs*

      • 356 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:46

        Brat? *laughing lots* Good noodles to that! *hands you some cherry juice*

      • 357 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:54

        *doesn’t accept that either*

      • 358 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 20:11

        *thinks about splashing you with it*

      • 359 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 20:16

        *thought about dumping it on your head first*
        *laughs a lot* Proud of herself for stopping her hands.

      • 360 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 20:27

        You did? How wicked!

      • 361 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 20:36

        I know!!! It really was…it took effort not to write it down!!!

      • 362 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:22

        Haha. *shakes head*

      • 363 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 29, 2014 at 19:24

        *laughing lots* So funny, am I.

      • 364 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 21:59

        And a bit Yoda like the sudden.

      • 365 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 30, 2014 at 00:40

        I know…I do that sometimes. Lazy wordage, I think. *laughs* I like his knowledge. ..

      • 366 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:54

        I know, right? He comes out when you don’t want to go back and edit… *laughs* Yoda? Yucketh! Windu was the man.

      • 367 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 30, 2014 at 20:09

        He does, so you do that too? Haha! Glad I’m not alone.
        *laughs* Oh, come on…he’s okay? Right??

      • 368 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:56

        Yes–it’s a wonder!

        Well, he was the man until they cut his arm off and threw him out a window. But I’ve told you this!

      • 369 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 15:40

        It is, I know!

        Are you sure?

      • 370 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:11

        Aha! You don’t remember. How coolio.

      • 371 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 20:21

        I don’t know enough about Star Wars…! *you caught me*
        *flips over her girl badge*

      • 372 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:29

        *won’t look at the badge* You’re always picking on me about that!

      • 373 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 20:40

        Picking on you about what?

      • 374 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:45

        Not remembering anything…

      • 375 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 2, 2014 at 18:17

        Helps you stay wicked though, right? (I belive you when you say you remember what I say. I haven’t always known for sure…)

      • 376 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 21:05

        I forget what we were talking about. Ooo, that’s wicked, huh?

      • 377 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2014 at 05:10

        ……………………………..ruins the moment. Well done!
        *smiles*

      • 378 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:08

        Ah, you beeped yourself out.

      • 379 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2014 at 20:12

        You did it first!!

      • 380 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:55

        Everyone knows the professor has a filthy mouth! *laughs lots*

      • 381 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 5, 2014 at 13:34

        You don’t have to remind me… *puts your curse words in order of appreciation*

      • 382 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 17:35

        With dadblameit at the front.

      • 383 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 5, 2014 at 19:14

        Yes, of course!

      • 384 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 23:21

        *smiles*

  19. 385 Amy Pinkrose April 1, 2014 at 15:01

    Hmmmm…..This book is in my library but I have not read it. I don’t think I will. Thank you, Professor, for saving me some time. I owe you!!! Love, LadyP

    • 386 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 17:59

      I actually think that you, Amy, would enjoy it.

      • 387 Amy Pinkrose April 1, 2014 at 20:50

        Hmmmm……Perhaps you are right. I will just now out of curiosity have to go peek. I bought it for a reason, for what reason, I cannot tell you. But, now that you said something, Susan, and even though the Professor said what he did, I shall satisfy me curiosity. (((HUGS))) Amy

      • 388 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 21:38

        Hugs back to you. I’ve never read it in English, but I really enjoyed it in Portuguese. Paulo Coelho is a contemplative sort of chap, and we folk think different than the driven people.

      • 389 Amy Pinkrose April 1, 2014 at 21:54

        Um, you are SO right. No offense, Prof Frown. Our brains do work differently. It just is so. (smile) ;) Love, Amy

      • 390 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:47

        No offense, LadyP! I think the professor’s brain is a bit dull, you know.

      • 391 Amy Pinkrose April 2, 2014 at 17:42

        NO! By far, NO! I think not! I LOVE the Professor’s brain.

      • 392 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:01

        But I wonder if it’s there anymore?

    • 393 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:33

      Will you give me Cherry Muffins for payment? *smiles really bigly big*

      • 394 Amy Pinkrose April 1, 2014 at 20:35

        *smiles really BIG in return and fluttering her eye lashes* Why, Professor, I shall get on it right now, and serve them to you steaming hot, fresh out of the oven. Be careful you don’t burn your mouth!!! *Laughing* LadyP

      • 395 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:35

        *laughing* And thank you, LadyP. Very glad about it, you know.

      • 396 Amy Pinkrose April 2, 2014 at 17:41

        *laughing* I am very glad about it too. ;) Respectfurly, LadyP

      • 397 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:01

        Un-respectfully, the professor.

      • 398 Amy Pinkrose April 3, 2014 at 02:26

        HUH? OMGOSH! What did I do? I don’t remember! OH OH! How shall I sleep now? How did I offend the Professor?

      • 399 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:28

        You didn’t at all! I just did the opposite of what you did. Wasn’t it coolio?

      • 400 Amy Pinkrose April 3, 2014 at 02:46

        You little sh*t. 😤 ‼️ 😁 🚫

      • 401 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:11

        Who? The professor? LadyP, such language!

      • 402 Amy Pinkrose April 4, 2014 at 01:21

        *blush* I know *embarrassed* You were a little you know WHAT! You fooled me. I thought you were mad at me and here you were just foolin’. Huh! Have you heard about the story of the boy who cried wolf? Just askin’.

      • 403 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 02:07

        Yes, I have! But the professor doesn’t get cranky. He is a beast, though! I’m sorry, LadyP!

      • 404 Amy Pinkrose April 4, 2014 at 13:19

        I’m sorry too. Can we make up and let bygones be bygones? The Professor is NOT a beast. If he were, I would not like him. *blush*

      • 405 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 13:34

        Yes, we can! *hides his face*

      • 406 Amy Pinkrose April 4, 2014 at 13:51

        *looks shyly at the floor while shuffling feet* Well, OK, then. We (((HUG))) and make up and we are all better! There, now don’t you feel better, Professor?

      • 407 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 18:36

        Yes…a swordfight would be nicer, wouldn’t it?

      • 408 Amy Pinkrose April 4, 2014 at 20:20

        No! Sorry! I don’t like blood!

      • 409 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:02

        Me neither!

      • 410 Amy Pinkrose April 7, 2014 at 13:05

        Well lookee here! The missing man is here once more! Hmmmm…….

      • 411 Professor VJ Duke April 7, 2014 at 13:40

        You mean the other man?

      • 412 Amy Pinkrose April 7, 2014 at 14:34

        No, I mean YOU the very one Susan and I are trying to entice to go SKINNY DIPPING. Hehehehehehe

      • 413 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 01:14

        I refuse to acknowledge your envoy. (Tell that to Susan!)

      • 414 Amy Pinkrose April 8, 2014 at 01:22

        Tee Hee …giggle…. Gee, Professor, I do not know what you talk about!

      • 415 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 02:08

        Me neither…

      • 416 Amy Pinkrose April 8, 2014 at 02:09

        *shrug* Who cares anyways? No biggie ….

      • 417 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 02:10

        My analysts, sadly…

      • 418 Amy Pinkrose April 8, 2014 at 02:11

        OH NO! That is horrible! Not them! *faints*

      • 419 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 02:13

        Yes. Horrible.

      • 420 Amy Pinkrose April 8, 2014 at 02:05

        PS Even for cherry cake? With whipped cream frosting? Still no?

      • 421 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 02:09

        Umm…cherry whipped cream?

      • 422 Amy Pinkrose April 8, 2014 at 02:10

        YEP! Cherry whipped cream! You got it, all the way! Promise!

      • 423 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 02:11

        What do I have to do for it?

      • 424 Amy Pinkrose April 8, 2014 at 02:12

        Go skinny dipping in Portugual. 😇 🎀 ☀️ 🌷 💝 💋💋💋

      • 425 Professor VJ Duke April 8, 2014 at 02:13

        Never. Sadly.

  20. 426 Debbie April 1, 2014 at 14:51

    Grrr, another one I haven’t read. Sounds like I haven’t missed much, though. I don’t particularly like nameless characters or tired plots that try to recreate the wheel. Doesn’t this sound similar to The Wizard of Oz, wherein little Dorothy tries to find her happiness everywhere, while it was right there at home all the time??

    • 427 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:33

      Is that what happens in The Wizard of Oz? I’ve never read the books.

  21. 428 PorterGirl April 1, 2014 at 14:32

    What?! This book makes no sense at all. I will ensure to NEVER go anywhere near it. Now, I don’t give my characters’ names, but that is for a good reason. This appeares just to be to confuse people. Aaarrggh!!

    • 429 Jazzy Couldren April 1, 2014 at 17:40

      Some dudes just need a little beatin’. :}

      • 430 PorterGirl April 2, 2014 at 05:17

        Wise words MM! :D

      • 431 Jazzy Couldren April 2, 2014 at 15:07

        Thanks :}

    • 432 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:32

      Your lovely writings are so different, Lucy! You characters have such characters–so they don’t need names. I mean, Head Porter has such a pronounced character, as does the Dean. And the others!

      This guy’s characters were as flat as…as…a…I’m not sure.

      • 433 PorterGirl April 2, 2014 at 05:20

        You are very kind Professor. I may have to read a bit of this book now, purely for comparative purposes. Then I will flatten it as flat as a… stamp?

      • 434 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:56

        *laughs* It doesn’t measure up…but certainly! Yes, as flat as the flattest stamp!

  22. 435 L. Marie April 1, 2014 at 14:10

    I read this one a couple of years ago to see what all the hype was about. Still wondering. . . .

    • 436 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:29

      Yes, me too. It’s dadblamery, L!

  23. 437 walt walker April 1, 2014 at 13:47

    Sounds like this book itself is a lot of wind. My head is spinning. I wonder why this book is so very popular? I’ve never read it, and I’m not sure if I’m now more likely to or less.

    • 438 Jazzy Couldren April 1, 2014 at 17:39

      Don’t you hate books that sound likes they’s blowing in your ear?

      • 439 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:43

        *laughs* Walt, MM has a funny way of putting things.

    • 440 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 18:00

      Walt, I’ll lend you my copy. Of course, it’s in Portuguese…

      • 441 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:44

        That’s so cool you can read that.

    • 442 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:29

      Walt, I always love reading what you have to say! *laughs* You have to read it now, right? And make sure I’m not telling tales.

  24. 443 Alastair Savage April 1, 2014 at 13:42

    … And yet it’s sold millions! Mystifying. I’ve never read it, and after your review, I don’t think I’ll bother.

    • 444 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:28

      Well, that’s good, then. What do you think of the wind part? That was strange to me.

      • 445 Alastair Savage April 2, 2014 at 06:23

        The whole thing is bizarre but kind of pointless to me. And isn’t it a bit patronising of him to suggest that foreign names are too difficult for the reader?

      • 446 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:56

        It is! And a bit annoying. Do you think we should declare war on him for it?

      • 447 Alastair Savage April 2, 2014 at 13:01

        Oh no, he’s from Brazil. I love Brazil! Peace, professor, peace.

      • 448 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 13:03

        Oh yes. Sometimes the professor gets vicious, you know. Are you tempted to read the book a bit?

      • 449 Alastair Savage April 2, 2014 at 13:04

        If I was on Ipanema Beach in Rio and I had the book in my hands … oh no, actually, I’d probably be “people watching”.

      • 450 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 17:12

        People watching, it can be fun, huh?

  25. 451 The Dancing Rider April 1, 2014 at 13:31

    I tried to read this book, and could not! It was the writing, though the story idea intrigued me. Maybe it was the translastion, who knows? In any case, smiled at the rip!

    • 452 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 18:01

      It’s definitely better in Portuguese.

      • 453 The Dancing Rider April 1, 2014 at 18:35

        Who is that write, Reverte’? Of The Ninth Gate story? I believe his writing was translated, but loved it. Also the Nordic crime thriller trilogy – “The Girl With ….” series.

        Could not get into this one (The Alchemist) at all.

      • 454 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:44

        Oh, it is not! Probably more dadblamery in that version!

    • 455 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:28

      You know, DR, I found the writing a bit dry. Maybe it was the translation. But the writing didn’t bother me overall. I was vexed by the story!

  26. 456 weggieboy April 1, 2014 at 13:16

    Unpronounceable names in abundance can be a deterrent to a good read.

    On the other hand, the convention adopted above would become tiresome in its own way. Rip away, Professor!

    I got through the Cairo Trilogy with all its unfamiliar names and felt blessed for my effort; another (forgotten name and author) book loaded with such names held no compelling interest for me and was set aside to accumulate the dust of neglect.

    I think I ended up donating it to Friends of the Library.

    If so, they sold it to raise funds to promote the library or to buy books people actually wanted to read.

    The person who bought it probably returned it later for the next year’s FL book sale, but only after he or she wiped off the new dust of neglect!

    • 457 deanthefish April 1, 2014 at 13:59

      I don’t know… my library never has any books I want to read… maybe they kept it?

    • 458 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:27

      *laughs* That’s a great story. Truly. The book is on a journey that will never end!

  27. 459 deanthefish April 1, 2014 at 13:16

    I love your reviews. They are entertaining and chuckle inducing. Or should that be chuckle producing?

    • 460 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:26

      Mr. Fish–thanks! How about chuckle producing? I like that better.

      • 461 deanthefish April 2, 2014 at 11:56

        Well I like inducing better! Rats and a Cantaloupe to you!

      • 462 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:57

        Haha! Nice PA, Mr. Fish.

  28. 463 Simply Skeptical April 1, 2014 at 13:15

    Great Rip Prof!!! This author sounds almost as confused as Merlin and that’s a thought for the sun & wind. ;-)

    • 464 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:26

      So true! Thanks, SS. But you should read it.

  29. 465 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 13:15

    HahahaHA! You sound particularly bitter about this one, dear C-W-W! And from the quotes I can quite see why! D’you know, I’ve seen two rave reviews of this this week and was just considering adding it my TBR – so I think I can honestly say you’ve saved my life this morning. Thank you!

    Just off to have a quick conversation with the wind now…

    • 466 deanthefish April 1, 2014 at 13:57

      Hmm, too bad the professor didn’t rip P&P before you’d read it. Now that would have seriously saved your life. [winks malignantly]

      • 467 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 15:23

        Tchah! Even the Professor’s ripping genius cannot hide Ms Austen’s unique brilliance!

        (Don’t you find books get awfully soggy when you read them underwater?)

    • 468 deanthefish April 1, 2014 at 15:36

      Yah… but I blow on them to keep them dry.

      • 469 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 17:03

        *chuckles at bubbles*

    • 470 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:26

      *the professor smiles bigger than ever before* I feel so glad that I saved you. It gets a bunch of mixed reviews. I liked the treasure part. But I didn’t like ‘the boy’ too much. Most of the characters–if I had met them–would have had to die.

      Haha! Let me know how it goes! We’re great friends.

      • 471 FictionFan April 1, 2014 at 23:33

        (What? Even bigger than the moon can?) Me too! If I’d got to the bit about winds blowing sand in the sun’s face or whatever, I’d have…I’d have…well, my head would probably have exploded! And that’s not a good look…

      • 472 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:48

        (Isn’t it possible?) But they the boy did hunt for a treasure. Would you have done that?

      • 473 FictionFan April 2, 2014 at 15:15

        (Where the Professor is concerned, anything is possible!) Depends – was it a giant box of chocolates?

      • 474 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 17:19

        No, but you could buy a lifetime supply of chocolate with it!

      • 475 FictionFan April 3, 2014 at 00:13

        *smiles yummily*

      • 476 Professor VJ Duke April 3, 2014 at 02:21

        *stumped* How’s that possible?

      • 477 FictionFan April 3, 2014 at 13:29

        *smiles enigmatically*

      • 478 Professor VJ Duke April 4, 2014 at 01:45

        *copies the smile and maybe does better*

    • 479 deanthefish April 2, 2014 at 13:00

      What does “chuckles at bubbles” mean? Very cryptic…

      • 480 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 13:02

        I think you’re Mr. Bubbles, Mr. Fish.

      • 481 FictionFan April 2, 2014 at 15:30

        Well, initially it was because I imagined the bubbles that would be caused by you blowing on your book…but then I realised Bubbles would be just a wonderful nickname for our dear Mr Fishy!! Don’t you agree, Bubbles? *chuckles at Bubbles*

    • 482 deanthefish April 2, 2014 at 15:41

      Well I suppose it can’t be any less flattering then deanthefish. Righto. Going to have to change that real soon.

  30. 483 K. A. Brace April 1, 2014 at 13:02

    Loved the book. >KB

    • 484 Susan P April 1, 2014 at 18:02

      So did I.

    • 485 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:25

      Absolutely! What was your favorite part, KB?

      • 486 K. A. Brace April 1, 2014 at 18:40

        The whole piece. It is like a puzzle and each part is important to making up the final picture. >KB

      • 487 Professor VJ Duke April 1, 2014 at 18:51

        You know, I did find it like a puzzle like that. There were some really cool parts. Like the boy’s treasure! Wasn’t that neatio?

      • 488 K. A. Brace April 1, 2014 at 19:28

        Very much so. Smiles…>KB

      • 489 Professor VJ Duke April 2, 2014 at 12:22

        I’d like to do such a thing, you know.


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