PUNCHY PARODY: Star Trek–Voyage Into the Nothing (The Darkness)

VOYAGE INTO THE NOTHING (THE DARKNESS)
Produced by MicP Studios
Directed by Mic Pencilpoint
Dramatized by Professor VJ Duke & Nicholas Warren
Music by Symphonist Sepperl

Cast:
Fats Henry as Captain Kirk-Picard
Schwarz Tauptinker as Schwarz Data
Manly-Man as Manly-Worf
Gaulb G. as Kahn G.

After the notorious villain and space alien, Kahn G., challenges Captain Kirk-Picard of the Exercise to follow him into The Nothing, things become dire indeed. The fate of the Starship Exercise lies in the incapable hands of Captain Kirk-Picard.

[Video link: http://youtu.be/1fHFfUeTeSg.]

Advertisements

184 Responses to “PUNCHY PARODY: Star Trek–Voyage Into the Nothing (The Darkness)”


  1. 1 Bethy April 16, 2014 at 20:12

    I watched this with the Princess this morning. We both laughed together! (I’m not sure what she was laughing at, unless maybe the sound effects as she doesn’t read yet, but still)

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:29

      Seriously, that just made my day! Thank you! *laughing about the Princess* She must be quite a character! Maybe the voices too.

      • 3 Bethy April 17, 2014 at 14:27

        You are welcome! I thought you would enjoy hearing about it.
        Oh there has never been any doubt in my mind that she was going to be/is a character. Yes, Schwarz’s voice is always an interest.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:16

        For sure! I must have speaks with the Princess one day. I feel she could teach me a lot.

        Schwarz is! All the little “high” remarks he’s always saying.

      • 5 Bethy April 18, 2014 at 18:59

        Just make sure that it is the Princess’ idea when you do go to talk to her. Otherwise a whole lot of nothing will be happening.
        Yes, I love those remarks of Schwarz!

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 12:57

        *laughing* Oh dear!

      • 7 Bethy May 5, 2014 at 10:30

        Yes, Things can get Sticky around here for sure. She has the idea she can tell me how to drive right now. My oh my.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 13:08

        *laughing* That is really funny!

  2. 9 L. Marie April 14, 2014 at 20:01

    The casting was perfect for this! Manly-Man of course was wonderful as Worf with his cling on/Klingon statements. But I also enjoyed Schwarz Data’s contribution. :-)

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:03

      Many thanks! I believe MM’s comments nearly drove the captain mad!

  3. 11 Jackie April 13, 2014 at 10:07

    Wowawee! That video was punchalicious fun of galactic proportions! 8-)

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:17

      *laughing* Galactic proportions, that’s definitely it, Jackie!

      • 13 Jackie April 14, 2014 at 15:03

        :-D

  4. 14 The Dancing Rider April 12, 2014 at 21:15

    Ha HA! I loved this (and I love all things Star Trek)…. GREAT parody! Not to mention super good sound effects. Loved the name “Kirk-Picard”, lol. Not to mention “Manly-Worf”. Schwarz’s punctuation comments were very good. Data and all….

    Oh my, Kahn sounds like a circular Mr. Magi! :)

    • 15 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:16

      Awesome! So many thanks, DR! Do you have a favorite character? And also, how do you think could play Spock? I’m confused about this.

      Haha. Circular?

      • 16 The Dancing Rider April 14, 2014 at 13:36

        It’s tie between Kirk-Picard and Data! Oddly, I would miscast either Bud Parker or Arthur as Spock….. ;-)

        Yes, the circular “logic” of it all.

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:08

        Miscast… *laughing* Both candidates would work, for sure. Thanks, DR!

        Mr. Magi does that! And maybe the professor?

      • 18 The Dancing Rider April 14, 2014 at 20:54

        Of course the professor! You are an expert at it, methinks.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:16

        *laughing lots* I fear so!

  5. 20 maryamchahine April 12, 2014 at 17:10

    I use to watch Star Trek. Thanks for the laughs : D This was fantastic! One of your best. It seems that Kahn G was onto the the Professor when he said….”going around in circles”, “nothing” and “challenge”.

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:15

      *laughing lots* Perhaps he was… Many thanks, M! Glad you liked it. Do you have a favorite character?

      The professor loves guitar, you know.

  6. 22 themofman April 12, 2014 at 01:14

    SEQUEL! SEQUEL! Oh wait, that was the trend of the 80’s.

    PREQUEL! PREQUEL! Oh, but that was the 90’s and dawn of the so called New Millennium.

    In this day and age I should be hallering DO OVER! DO OVER!

    • 23 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:53

      *laughing* This is awesome. And I see what you mean definitely. Do over with changes?

  7. 24 Julie Harris April 11, 2014 at 20:48

    I must admit that I have never been a Star Trek fan… But I enjoyed this very much! The voices and sound effects were “far out”!

    • 25 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:43

      Aw, thanks, Julie! The professor appreciates that! Did you have a favorite character?

  8. 26 Tonia April 11, 2014 at 20:13

    I hav never been a SF fiction fan myself but this one is intriguing and funny. Love the foolish beings that they are…and yet still adorable with their gullible personalities.

    I esp like that Manly Worf. His voice reminds me of an old bf. Cute. Can I run away with him into Nothing? ha ha! :)

    Good job on this one, Professor. :) the sound effects are WOWsie, too!

    • 27 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:41

      And many thanks, Tonia!

      Haha! Manly-Worf is played by Manly-Man if you’re curious. He comes around this blog every so often. I think you could definitely run away with him! I mean, I give you my permission! Hope he doesn’t hear.

      Thanks! I love that word you used. May I steal it?

  9. 28 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 11, 2014 at 19:46

    I kept expecting someone’s face to pop up on the screen during all the fuzzy noice. *laughs* This was so great!

    How many times can one say clinging? LOL

    A fantastic story and I loved the new voices, professor. I know nothing about Star Trek, so I’m excited to see where this journey of theirs goes.
    I want to take a ride on the Exercise into Nothing, I think. Sounds very enlightening, I’d say.

    • 29 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:29

      Thanks, Audith! The professor’s face?

      Isn’t that something? *laughs* Nick really worked that into the script. But blame should be put on me, too. Though I think it was his idea.

      The professor doesn’t know much either. You mean, new voice, like Kahn?

      Well, I better go, too, then. I would have wanted to blow up that guy’s ship, you know.

      • 30 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 12, 2014 at 00:36

        Well, not yours exactly, but yes yours or a face in general, tis what usually happens when that type of noise occurs.

        It was great. I liked the use of clinging. I laughed a lot every time I heard it. Loved the humor around it.

        Yeah, I was thinking new character names (plural) (Data, Wolf..ect) while typing, but went with the new voice (should have been singular) of Kahn instead. It is new, right?

        Well, alright, then. We’ll go. I’m not sure what stopped you, but you should always go with your gut.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:36

        Really? *laughing* A pity I didn’t realize that. It would have been an interest!

        Many thanks, Audith!

        Well, all the PL’ers play different characters from Star Trek. (I believe I put the casting on the top.) Gaul G. (He’s the guy that plays Kahn) has maybe only appeared in one other skit. So, he’s fairly new. I hope that makes sense!

        But what if the professor doesn’t have one?

      • 32 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 14, 2014 at 14:03

        Well, I think so, anyway. *wonders now if she’s confusing herself*

        *wants to change the subject because she is sinking in regret over the confusion she’s created*

        You don’t have a gut? Where do all the muffins go? You must have really big feet!

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:15

        Well, then I think so too.

        No! Always ask questions. I’m good at answering them. And I cause confusion all the time, you know.

        *laughing lots* Well, maybe, then.

      • 34 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 14, 2014 at 19:09

        *I’m so confused*

        *likes that he’s being so bossy* Okay!

        Not maybe.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 17:46

        Oh dear…

        Oh dear twice more…

        But there’s no other way around it.

      • 36 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2014 at 18:31

        *still confused*

        *not anymore*

        Try going the other way…

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:32

        I’ll explain whatever you want, my dear.

        It’s blocked by a tree.

      • 38 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2014 at 20:04

        Not this one you won’t don’t tease, Duketh.

        Cut the tree down.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:40

        I like teasing!

        It might hit me on the head.

      • 40 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 16, 2014 at 03:27

        You mean running over my heart… *winks* *then giggles*
        I like teasing, too!

        Well, its a chance I’m willing to take, quite frankly. What do we have to lose? Your memory? We can’t find that anyway.
        *hands you the saw and begins filing her fingernails*

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 19:57

        *laughs* *and wonders how to run over a heart* Yes, I know!

        I was hoping you’d find my memory soon. *takes an axe*

      • 42 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 16, 2014 at 20:37

        I don’t know, but you have figured out how to do it. *laughs*

        I’d love to try. I like the axe better. I’ve seen what you can do with it…

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 15:50

        I’m something of magician, I suppose.

        Axes can take brains, I suppose, huh?

      • 44 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 17, 2014 at 17:07

        Ahh, well, a magician is always good to have around.

        Brains? What are you up to now, Duke?

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:29

        Except when they’re scary.

        Well, if you swoosh an axe hard enough…

      • 46 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 18, 2014 at 15:53

        Tis true!

        Yes….what happens?

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:31

        You could take off the head and brains.

      • 48 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 18, 2014 at 16:44

        Yours! Are you serious?!!

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:09

        No. It was wicked, huh?

      • 50 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 18, 2014 at 17:13

        Yes! Stop that!

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:48

        *runs away and gets on his chariot*

      • 52 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 18, 2014 at 18:03

        *runs faster than him and gets the reins*
        (I gotta go for now.)

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 18:06

        *gets in the back*

      • 54 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 19, 2014 at 14:52

        *starts the music* Magic Carpet Ride’s playing!

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 13:10

        But do I know that?

      • 56 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 21, 2014 at 13:44

        My guess is that you do not know this song.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 20:36

        And why would you guess that?

      • 58 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 21, 2014 at 20:44

        Because I have a 50/50 shot, Duke.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 21:10

        Well, you’re right, then.

      • 60 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 21, 2014 at 21:26

        No I’m not

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 13:46

        Why do you say that? *hands you his ring*

      • 62 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 22, 2014 at 15:42

        I don’t know if you do or not. I think you know every song. For me to hold? *shaking* It fits nicely, Duke. May I wear it?

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 00:30

        Haha, not every one!

        Yes, you may.

      • 64 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 23, 2014 at 03:08

        Probably almost every one that I like!

        You won’t miss your ring?

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:28

        Well…I don’t know!

        I’ll steal it later.

      • 66 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 23, 2014 at 20:05

        *asks you to turn up that Joni Mitchell song playing*
        *sings Both Sides Now for you*

        No you won’t but I will let you look at it whenever you’d like.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:18

        *turns it up oh so loud*

        *shock* You mean I can’t have it back?

      • 68 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 24, 2014 at 19:33

        *sings quietly*
        *smiles* No, you can’t have it back.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:23

        *listens to Audiths singing*

        But why?

      • 70 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 25, 2014 at 02:40

        *stops* I’m over it.

        Because you gave it to me…

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:11

        Rats.

        I’m an Indian, you know.

      • 72 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 25, 2014 at 19:27

        That music was too loud, anyway. We need good music to play at those decibels. How about a little Satana? *eyebrows go up and down*

        A take awayer kind of Indian…? I like Indians. They usually like me, too.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:50

        Satana? Haha! Yep. I like his style lots. Put him on!

        Haha! I’m not surprised, though.

      • 74 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 26, 2014 at 21:09

        Oh yeah! *dimples flare* *cranking it*

        Smart of you to agree…

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 19:01

        I wonder why it was smart of me…

      • 76 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 27, 2014 at 23:26

        Not sure…you got lucky.

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 14:45

        The professor is notoriously lucky.

      • 78 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:15

        *bummed you took the ring* Not any longer, you aren’t!

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:29

        Why not, I wonder?

      • 80 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:34

        Figures we both wonder a lot.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:39

        All the time about everything, I fear.

      • 82 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:47

        *sips her coffee quietly* Yes, tell me more.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:53

        But what?

      • 84 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:59

        Anything…

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 20:22

        Flowers are best black.

      • 86 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 20:30

        No. Couldn’t possibly be. Flowers are overrated!

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 20:31

        Yes, I’d agree!

      • 88 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 20:40

        *smiles*

  10. 89 technophile9 April 11, 2014 at 19:33

    Clinging on… Brilliant. ;) I’m not much of a Trekkie, but this was great even without much knowledge.

    • 90 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:26

      The professor isn’t either, I fear! Had to get some help for the details. Thanks, Joe! I was wondering if anyone would catch that. I think MM had a stellar performance, huh?

  11. 91 ladycheetah7 April 11, 2014 at 17:45

    I am a fan of the old school Star Trek. Bravo! Brilliant! You did a parody of my favorite show…yeah
    :-)

    • 92 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 19:00

      That comment made my day! Thank you, Lady. I didn’t know it was your favorite show! So, is Spock your favorite, then?

      • 93 ladycheetah7 April 11, 2014 at 19:17

        Spock is my favorite character and if there was another it would be Lt. Uhurah.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:25

        Okay. I’ll mark this down. Can’t say I’m familiar with Lt. Uhurah at all. Is it a guy?

      • 95 ladycheetah7 April 11, 2014 at 22:41

        WoW! This Star Trek was definitely before your time. She was the female on the ship right along with Kirk, Spock, and bones. I think she was the linguistic interpreter and@ that time if I remember correctly the only black female on starship enterprise.

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:54

        Well, the professor never watched too much star trek. I only know the captain guy and the one with the ears, Spock. Now a linguistic interpreter is rather cool… I think we could do something with that. Btw, any suggestions which PL’er should play Spock?

      • 97 ladycheetah7 April 11, 2014 at 23:00

        Ah man. That is a hard one. Not sure but you will need a PLer who is calculating enough to pull it off. Especially since Kirk and Spock were the main characters and this Spock has to be just as good as Kirk or Kirk will outshine him.
        :-)

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:26

        This is too hard! Let’s see… You’re right. Our Kirk is a bit over-bearing. This will take some real thought, for sure!

  12. 99 Simply Skeptical April 11, 2014 at 17:35

    This was awesome! I’m a Trekky fan. Where is Spock? Hope he’ll be making an appearance in future missions?? The characters are really great! Starship EXERCISE – hilarious – LOL!

    • 100 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 19:00

      Thanks! Oh dear. I knew someone was missing. I’ll mark it down in case we do another one. It’s fitting Henry should have a ship named that, isn’t it?

      • 101 Simply Skeptical April 11, 2014 at 23:02

        Oh no! Don’t forget Mr. Spock. Perhaps even a Scotty or Bones too? Come to think of it quite appropriate! hee, hee.

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:26

        Bones. Now that is an interest.

  13. 103 weggieboy April 11, 2014 at 17:14

    I”m with FictionFan on this! Too many favorite lines to recount them here, but this was great fun and credibly cast witt PL regulars!

    • 104 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:59

      Many thanks, my man! The casting can be a bear at times. Even when we can’t have the one we want!

  14. 105 Susan P April 11, 2014 at 14:41

    My head is spinning. Or is that the Exercise? Laughing SOOOOO much. Masterfully crafted from someone who has to be a Trekkie. Thanks so much. Loved this!

    • 106 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:49

      *smiling lots* Thank you, Susan! Actually, the professor’s never watched much Star Trek. And it might be a wonder. Who was your favorite?

  15. 107 laugraeva April 11, 2014 at 14:17

    Schwarz really reminds me of Tre Cool from Green Day…

    • 108 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:48

      I’ve never heard about that–what a wonder! Who is Tre Cool?

      • 109 laugraeva April 14, 2014 at 11:17

        Google him..

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 13:19

        Ooo, he’s scary looking, isn’t he?

      • 111 laugraeva April 14, 2014 at 20:49

        I like him. I used to be rather obsessed with the band.

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:14

        I’ll have to give them a listen. Never heard of them before, you know.

  16. 113 PorterGirl April 11, 2014 at 13:40

    O M and actual G!! I think that was the best one yet. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. And the casting was superb!

    • 114 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:47

      *smiling* Lucy! Thanks so much! MM was grand, wasn’t he?

      • 115 PorterGirl April 12, 2014 at 06:27

        He was absolutely marvelous, do pass on my congratulations. I do love a good Star Trek parody I must say. Big hugs to all involved!

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:57

        Aw, big thanks to you, Lucy!

  17. 117 K. A. Brace April 11, 2014 at 13:40

    Sounds like the warped themselves into a session of congress.>KB

    • 118 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:47

      Haha! What should we make of that, KB?

      • 119 K. A. Brace April 11, 2014 at 20:40

        The penultimate zone of “Nothingness” >KB

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 22:43

        Ooo! That second word is awesome, KB. You know it is, huh?

  18. 121 FictionFan April 11, 2014 at 13:07

    Wondrous!!! Schwarzy-Data – yay!! (Did the Professor know Data is my favourite character?) Inspired casting – and what wonderful performances! And tell Bubbles the music was spectacular!

    HahaHA, C-W-W! You have excelled yourself with this one – I loved so many lines it’s hard to choose but I think the one about running on space particles might be my fave…or the data Data line. And Schwarzy-Data’s Chow Chow Wow was equalled in brilliance only by his Hoho! A classic!! Thank you *grinning from ear to ear*

    • 122 Professor VJ Duke April 11, 2014 at 18:47

      Yes, the professor did know he was your favorite. I do fear that Schwarz didn’t capture Data’s voice too well, but…oh well. I will tell Mr. Bubbles! I do think the ship’s cast has to be expanded a bit.

      The professor is honored! (And maybe blushing.) *laughing* The data Data was my favorite line. And we got Worf to play at the end.

      • 123 FictionFan April 12, 2014 at 00:31

        Then that makes it even sweeter that you cast my Schwarzy! *smiling loads* I thought Schwarzy’s voice added the final ingredient to make Data the perfect man. (Have I ever told you why I love him? Data, that is. It’s because he’s got an off-switch…a thing I feel all men should have.)

        I see from the other comments that you’re expanding the casting to include the original series, so that means you must have Scotty the engineer! (A perfect role for DS, I feel!) ‘Och, Cap’n, the engines are failing – she cannae take any morrrre…’ And you need Commander Ryker…and Deanna Troi…and Wesley Crusher!!!! (So glad you’re planning to do more!)

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 12:33

        The professor must admit, it was on purpose. But don’t make anything of it! *laughing* FEF! You be nice. But it is interesting that Data has an off switch. I’ll keep that in mind… (I suddenly feel bad for Tommy.)

        Goodness! There’s too many characters… See? I knew you thought DS was Scottish. Who do you think should play Spock?

      • 125 FictionFan April 14, 2014 at 16:44

        *smiles most appreciatively* (Tommy has an off-switch too – but it rarely works.)

        There’s only one possible person who could play Spock – Daniel! Oh, my!

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke April 14, 2014 at 18:30

        Sounds like the professor’s.

        That would be good! I think Parker and Arthur were suggested.

      • 127 FictionFan April 14, 2014 at 20:57

        But, like Tommy, no-one would want to switch the Professor off anyway…

        Hmm…Parker could work (though not as well as Daniel) but Arthur’s all wrong for the role. You could bring in characters from Star Trek Voyager too though and then he could play Nelix…and of course the Professor himself could then play the lovely clarinet-playing hearthrob Harry Kim! *swoons*

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:17

        You mean that? Not even when you want to kill me?

        Oh dear! There seems to be a whole cast of miscreants! Well… The professor can’t act, you know.

      • 129 FictionFan April 15, 2014 at 22:22

        Nope, not even then! And that doesn’t happen very often anyway… *smiles reassuringly*

        All you have to do to play Harry Kim is be sweet and charming, look gorgeous and play the clarinet – the part was made for the Professor! No acting required!

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:08

        *laughing* I think I’m relieved. I think, that is.

        But maybe I don’t play the clarinet!

      • 131 FictionFan April 16, 2014 at 13:34

        You should be…

        Uh-huh. OK.

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:20

        I think that “OK” signifies that you really don’t believe me at all.

      • 133 FictionFan April 16, 2014 at 20:28

        Oh, it might be true…but then again it might not. I’ve given up trying to find the spider in the middle of the Professorial web…but I like the idea of a clarinet-playing Prof so I’ll choose to believe that!

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:34

        You’re a wise lady. The clarinet, you know, is superior to every saxophone. Every one.

      • 135 FictionFan April 16, 2014 at 20:37

        I think I actually agree with that, you know…it’s more subtle…classier…

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 15:50

        *beaming* It’s so rare that I have someone agree with me on that. Yes, yes! And the tone is more mellow and not piercing. (Plus, the range is far superior.)

      • 137 FictionFan April 17, 2014 at 22:00

        Agree on the tone, but didn’t know that about the range. Why would that be, o musical one?

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:16

        Well, I think it has close to 3 1/2 octaves. And it plays in the whole range well. For instance, it’s not hard to play in the lowest register (like it is on the oboe) and it’s rather simple to play high. (And, it has holes that the fingers need to cover, which makes runs harder. No holes on a saxophone.)

      • 139 FictionFan April 18, 2014 at 23:22

        Most interesting, thanks. And I even understood most of it, I think, except the last bit. What are runs, and is it a good or bad thing that they’re harder?

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 13:07

        Well, it’s playing a lot of notes really fast! It’s easier to do on saxophones, since there’s no holes. In my opinion, it’s more impressive on clarinets since there are holes. That makes it harder. I take pride in the oddest things, you know.

      • 141 FictionFan April 21, 2014 at 17:07

        I see – thank you! *impressed face*

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 21:08

        *blushes because he was rambling on*

      • 143 FictionFan April 21, 2014 at 23:20

        Sorry, didn’t mean to make you feel that. I enjoy very much getting a rare glimpse behind the Professorial mask and am always interested in learning more about the art of music, but I assumed that you weren’t terribly interested in the conversation so didn’t want to drag it on.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 14:03

        You didn’t make me feel that! I just know that I can run on and on about such things. Usually, that is.

      • 145 FictionFan April 22, 2014 at 18:05

        Please feel free to babble about such things any time you like…in fact, you once set yourself the challenge of turning me into a jazz fan…still waiting…

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 00:36

        Okay…here’s your homework. Listen to “Moment’s Notice” by John Coltrane. How many choruses does he solo over? Haha, you don’t need to tell me that. Just listen, if you please, madam.

      • 147 FictionFan April 23, 2014 at 13:17

        I’m listening now and…well…the man himself is doing just fine, but…why is the guy on drums playing an entirely different tune? It’s all quite…frenetic…isn’t it? I may need some medicinal chocolate soon…

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:42

        *laughing* He is not! He’s in the groove. Coltrane has the sweetest tone I’ve ever heard on a sax. It’s rather peaceful. In those parts when Coltrane is playing all around, just think of it as if he’s composing on the spot.

      • 149 FictionFan April 23, 2014 at 22:50

        Yes, well, perhaps it would have been better if they’d been in the same groove. Peaceful? Really? I thought it was incredibly the opposite of relaxing. But I did manage to listen all the way through (twice) so that’s an achievement. Next?

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:50

        It is an achievement! Okay… Next, listen to Nigerian Marketplace by Oscar Peterson. Make sure he’s playing with Joe Pass!

      • 151 FictionFan April 24, 2014 at 17:52

        Hmm…now I hope you don’t faint or anything but…I rather liked that! Well, I liked the piano and guitar parts a lot and the bass less so. But honestly, what is the point of the drummy swishy thing that always seems to be there – it’s like having some annoying metronome keeping time, which I feel the other performers should be able to do without assistance! Or is there some sort of drummers’ union that insists there must always be one swishing away…?

        However, overall marks out of ten…seven, or perhaps heading towards eight… (maybe even nine if someone bumps off the drummer and gets the bassist to take a break…) *impressed and surprised face*

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:11

        *shocked and thrilled at the same time* You mean the brushes? You have to like that! Every jazz band needs a drummer…well, not necessarily.

        Wow. I’m so happy you liked it! But don’t you think the bassist playing the melody was kinda cool? Pass is good, isn’t he?

      • 153 FictionFan April 24, 2014 at 23:22

        No, no – really can’t like the brushes (much better word than drummy swishy things, BTW – see how much I’m learning?). The bassist was fine, but I fear I don’t find the bass a particularly appealing instrument on the whole – except for background. It’s OK in orchestras ‘cos it kind of gets drowned out… *hangs head in shame at lack of taste and musical appreciation*

        But I did like Pass this time, more than whatever it was of him you got me to listen to once before (can’t remember what it was now). He looks like Hercule Poirot after a diet though…

        Next?

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:37

        Haha! You are learning. The brush sound is so jazz. And the bass usually does play behind. Sometimes it walks–which is beautiful. Moves the mood! You do not lack taste at all, FEF!

        *laughing lots* He does! I’ve thought this, too. The dude is coolio.

        Okay. McCoy Tyner’s Fly With The Wind. This isn’t a “usual” jazz set-up. Tyner can really play fast.

      • 155 FictionFan April 24, 2014 at 23:54

        Aarghhh!!! My ears are bleeding!!! What on earth have I ever done to you to deserve that?? Is there some rule that says no two jazz players are allowed to play the same tune at the same time??? And again the drummer just sits there thumping and swishing with no relation to what’s going on around him…

        I wnat to hear a walking bass though…believe me, after that my mood needs moving…

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 12:59

        Oh dear! *laughs a little and cries a little* There is nothing more together than a jazz band! (I knew you’d hate that one…)

        Well, how about James by Pat Metheny. It’s newer.

      • 157 FictionFan April 25, 2014 at 13:39

        Hmm…certainly better than the last one. The bass solo was actually quite good and the guitar solo was the highlight (even though it was electric guitar – did I mention I’m not too keen on electric guitar?). But the sax player really needs to get a grip – whatever he was playing it wasn’t what the other guys were playing! It wasn’t even at the same tempo most of the time! And the drummer…well I have only one thing to say about him…why? (Are you beginning to see what a battle you have on your hands to turn me into a jazz fan?)

        Out of ten – 8 for the guitar, 7 for the bass, 3 for the sax and the drummer gets a pity score of 1…

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:53

        Was the sax guy Michael Brecker? Christian McBride was probably the bassist–one of the best.

        The guitar wasn’t electric! It was a hollow body! It wasn’t distorted, was it? I don’t think Pat would play like that. The clean jazz sound comes from a hollow body electric.

        *laughing lots* You really hate drummers! Let me see…was it Sanchez?

      • 159 FictionFan April 25, 2014 at 15:52

        Correct all round via the players. Is Michael Brecker supposed to be good? He sounded good when they were all playing together at the beginning and the end, but his solo was…well, let’s be polite and say unique!

        I don’t understand a single word of your paragraph about the guitar *blushes vermilion* It sounded electric to me. But I must say that, incomprehensible though it is, I adore that sentence ‘The clean jazz sound comes from a hollow body electric.’ I’m definitely going to use that in conversation one day – boy, will people be impressed!!!

        *chuckling guiltily* I admit it – in general I do think drummers should go out and find a real instrument to play… *fervently hopes no drummers read this and apologises profusely in advance just in case…* Convince me I’m wrong…

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:22

        I know the one you listened to, then. My favorite! Um, yes, he’s supposedly one of the best. Personally, he’s not my favorite. He was just having fun with his solo! Haha.

        *laughing lots* But can’t you hear a difference between Pat’s guitar and, say, Jimmy Page’s?

        *shock* Poor Nick… A drummer makes or brakes a band! For instance listen to Buddy Rich–Bugle Call Rag.

      • 161 FictionFan April 25, 2014 at 22:46

        Well, he should have been paying more attention to his listeners’ fun than his own! I don’t ask much from them, you know – just that they try to play at roughly the same speed as each other and with roughly the same tune…

        Don’t laugh at me, you meanie! I can’t help it if I’m musically challenged!! (Still sounds electric to me…)

        Oops! Please give Nick my sincere apologies – or better yet, don’t tell him! Well, OK, I can see that as drumming goes, Buddy can drum really…er…fast. And not a swishy drummy thing in sight which was a good thing! But I’d love to hear the band play it without the drums…

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:58

        FEF! Buddy was right on. (I admit he thinks highly of himself. Supposedly a cranky person.)

        Well, technically it is. So, you’re right. *no laughing*

        I can’t believe you don’t like drums! *laughs lots* The swishy sound is created by “brushes”. Usually used in a ballad or such. Check out Joe Morello “Take the A Train” for a walking bass.

      • 163 FictionFan April 26, 2014 at 19:15

        Oh dear! I feel this may be an impossible task, dear C-W-W! Six minutes of some guy showing how he can hit a bunch of things with sticks – really fast! Again I rather liked that tune, and the sax was coolio. But I don’t get what you mean about the bass walking, I fear, and every time the poor bass player got going, that manic drummer just started bashing his metal thingies real loud again! Maybe it’s the drums that makes me not like jazz… *chuckles at thought of poor Prof putting face in hands and groaning…*

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 18:57

        *wishing he could show you how a bass walks by humming it* Oh well. At least you liked the tune! The professor is shocked, I admit it, that you don’t like the drums! Very interesting!

      • 165 FictionFan April 28, 2014 at 13:14

        *wishes that too* Oh well, indeed! Thank you for trying, C-W-W – at least I liked a couple of them, so that’s a tiny bit of progress. I’ve never seen the attraction of drums, not just in jazz but in rock/pop too. But in them you can often assume that they really do need someone beating out the time… *wicked face*

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 15:08

        Hahaha! Well…one day you’ll like it, maybe. It can get tough to listen, too! I admit it freely!

      • 167 FictionFan April 28, 2014 at 18:06

        More fun to play than to listen to, I’d think (especially for the drummer…)

      • 168 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:22

        I spared you Thelonious Sphere Monk–which is a glory!

      • 169 FictionFan April 28, 2014 at 22:53

        Oh dear! Unfortunately I’m intrigued now – song title?

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:45

        In Walked Bud. I do hope you like it!

      • 171 FictionFan April 29, 2014 at 22:54

        Well, somewhat amazingly, I did rather like that! Especially the sax…coolio! And they managed to keep the drummer under pretty good control for most of it.

        I might even listen to it again…

      • 172 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:51

        I’m so surprised! A Monk fan. He’s considered one of the best. If you want another… “Well You Needn’t”

      • 173 FictionFan April 30, 2014 at 19:10

        Goodness! I rather like that too! Could it be – is FF turning into a Thelonious Monk fan? *faints* Go on – try a third before I commit myself…

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:50

        *shocked more and more and more* Try: “Ruby, My Dear”

      • 175 FictionFan May 1, 2014 at 16:53

        Three in a row!!! *gobsmacked face* There’s a nice solo version of that on youtube which I think I actually preferred to the quartet verson – though it was pretty good too, and the swish-swishy-swish bit was nicely subdued. Gosh! It’s because these three have all been fairly relaxing – not that hideous frenetic drum heavy stuff you were forcing on my poor innocent ears earlier. Plus, all the musicians (even the drummer usually) do sound as if they’re trying to play roughly the same tune at the same speed…

        Congratulations, C-W-W! Your perseverance has achieved the impossible…

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:20

        No way! Wow. I got you to like jazz! See? The professor told you he would.

      • 177 FictionFan May 2, 2014 at 00:58

        Indeed! Only Mr Monk though!! But still a major feat…

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:02

        And he’s hardcore jazz! *laughing*

      • 179 FictionFan May 2, 2014 at 16:27

        See how persuasive you are? But now your task is to tempt me beyond Thelonius…

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 21:02

        Beyond… It’s so odd. If you like Sphere, you should like most all other jazz.

      • 181 FictionFan May 3, 2014 at 00:29

        Hmm…I think we’ve already tested that theory and discovered it has flaws…

      • 182 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:01

        It does! I don’t know where to send you next to listen. I’m really quite surprised.

      • 183 FictionFan May 3, 2014 at 23:50

        Did you faint?

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 13:05

        Warriors don’t faint, dadblameit!


Say something...anything...O Punchy Family!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,875 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on WordPress.com

Blog Stats

  • 114,829 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


%d bloggers like this: