The PL Times
The Official Punchy Lands’ Newspaper
Monday, April 14, 2014
Section A. Punchy Proverbs:
NOTE: All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate, a famous poet in the PL.
(1) If all art is self-expression, then all self-expression isn’t art.
(2) Water, like true passion, cannot be stopped—unless a dam is built.
(3) There are those who are thought wise but make no sense—this is gasbaggery, for we all know wise people must make sense.
Favorites, Punchy Family?
Section B. The professor speaks:
Imagine if you stood on a cliff and looked out over a beautiful valley… Would you jump? The professor might—if he had wings.
Section C. What the PL’ers have to say:
A short conversation:
EMPEROR NAPOLEON: How about we toast, eh?
MR. RATHERQUITE: It’s rude to drink in front of the Ladies.
EMPEROR NAPOLEON: Haha. I never knew this. Perhaps we should drink behind them, then?
MR. RATHERQUITE: Sir! Never do something behind a ladies’ back!
EMPEROR NAPOLEON: Dammit, man! We can’t drink in front of them and we can’t drink behind him! How shall we drink?
MR. RATHERQUITE: Never, sir.
EMPEROR NAPOLEON: Then we go to the grave dry as a vat full of rattlesnakes. No, sir! No woman is worth that!
Section D. Breaking News:
by J. Freedwoppen
Mr. Ratherquite and Daniel H. had a debate publicly about the worth of emeralds. It was decided that Mr. Ratherquite’s opinion (i.e. that emeralds are only shiny and lack any real worth, unlike ladies) is just plain dadblamery.
“The only way in, is in.” And with those words Merlin led a group of kids through one of the most dangerous caves in the Punchy Lands. Search teams are still diligently trying to locate the group. They’ve been missing for 4 days.
Section E. Hearing from the PL Family:
Punchy Family, if you have any questions about the Punchy Lands, characters, or anything Punchy, feel free to comment below.
The Punchy Times principal reporter, J. Freedwoppen, would be more than glad to cover or investigate your query. (Make sure to clearly indicate your question for Mr. Freedwoppen.)
The PL Times!