Staring Daggers—What It Means

Mr. Ratherquite seemed insulted.

And I’m sure he was. He’s always insulted. It’s a gift of his.

“Sir!” he exclaimed. Then, Mr. Ratherquite just stared hard at Schwarz Tauptinker.

“So…” Schwarz began, “why are you staring at me?”

“I, sir,” Mr. Ratherquite replied, “am in the process of staring daggers at you.”

Schwarz laughed. “That’s a bit weird. I mean…why?”

“That is what people do when they’re very, very angry.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Oh yes,” Mr. Ratherquite said. “Doesn’t it?”

“Na,” Schwarz returned. “I don’t know how you could stare daggers either. You know…chickit, it’s weird!”

“It’s a expression of utter contempt for the individual you’re staring at. It’s just an expression.”

“Do you ever stare at your Ladies like that?” Schwarz asked the question quite innocently.

“Sir!” And Mr. Ratherquite blinked once, twice, thrice. The stare was compromised, but only for a moment.

“So,” Schwarz said, “maybe I should stare revolvers at you?”

“That is ridiculous, you silly!”

Schwarz’s voice skipped an octave, “Oh no it’s not!”

And then Schwarz worked up his own stare, which was—unique.

Schwarz Tauptinker and Mr. Ratherquite stood there, locked in a combat of the eyes.

And that’s when Daddy Salami skipped up.

“Hehaha!” he laughed. “I see a war!”

He was completely ignored.

“What ya doin’?” Salami tried again.

Still, he was ignored.

Salami laughed, frustrated, and ran his fingers through his devilishly red hair.

“Sir, be quiet,” Mr. Ratherquite finally said, still keeping his eyes locked on Schwarz’s. “We’re in a battle—a battle of the immortal eyes.”

“Yeah,” Schwarz said. “He’s staring daggers, I’m staring revolvers.”

“That’s right,” Mr. Ratherquite said.

“But it feels like nothing,” Schwarz said, not averting his gaze.

Salami laughed. “And I can stare dynamite.”

And then, it was a three-way staring war.

ALT. ENDING:

“But if feels like nothing,” Schwarz said, not averting his gaze.

Salami laughed maliciously. “I’ll show ya what it feels like.”

Daddy Salami pulled out two daggers and threw them into Schwarz.

“Ouch!” Schwarz exclaimed. And he hit the ground.

Now Salami had Mr. Ratherquite’s full attention.

“Sir!”

Salami laughed as he pulled out a revolver from pocket.

Two shots rang out. And Mr. Ratherquite fell.

“Now ya know what it feels like.”

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319 Responses to “Staring Daggers—What It Means”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 April 21, 2014 at 19:01

    0_0
    I like the first ending better. Also, why is Daddy Salami so bloodthirsty?! Was he always like that?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 21:09

      Well, I fear, yes. He’s a bit on the vicious side. Wouldn’t you say?

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 April 21, 2014 at 21:35

        Indeed. Does he always act this way? *puts hand on her lightsaber and looks at Salami with a suspicious eye*

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 13:57

        Yes, pretty much. But he can be talked out of it! (Btw, what color lightsaber do you have?)

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 April 22, 2014 at 15:08

        Oh dear… *prepares to put on a show of impressive eloquence*
        My lightsaber is green. (Apparently that’s the color of a Jedi Counsular, but I don’t know. I have some odd and extremely specialized talents, such as making it rain at odd times, but that’s all I can say…)

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 00:28

        I’m sure you’ll do fine. Avoid eye contact!

        Now what’s a Counsular? I’d like a red or purple one, I think. Are there yellow ones? They are pretty cool powers. You should tell me more.

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 April 23, 2014 at 12:54

        I think a Consular is a Jedi who focuses mainly on Force powers and diplomacy… Green is a traditional Consular lightsaber color. I’m focusing mainly on practical skills and lightsaber mastery in my training, which puts me more on a level with a Guardian; Guardians use blue lightsabers and tend to focus on lightsaber skills and the more combat-focused disciplines. But then, the lines between Consulars and Guardians are pretty blurred… Look at Qui-Gon Jinn, for instance. And then there are the Sentinels, who (yes!) use yellow lightsabers. They rely on technology and mental techniques and operate on a more sub rosa level to weed out darkness wherever it crops up, nipping potential Sith and Dark Siders in the bud. The Shadows are the most secret branch of the Sentinels–pretty much only the Council even knows of their existence, and not even the Council knows their identities. Back in the day, I think Dooku was one and acted as liason between the Shadows and the Council–though the Shadows formally took orders and missions/investigations the Council had referred to them, they were pretty much a separate entity, and somewhat frowned upon by the more “orthodox” Jedi. If you go on Fanfiction, read the excellent “Lineage” and “Legacy” series’es by the user ruth baulding. They’re alternate universe, just to warn you, but they’re amazing, and offer a much clearer picture into minor politics within the Jedi Order than Wookiepedia ever did.
        Hey! Maybe that’s another reason why Anakin struggled as a Jedi. All these other people grew up with these little rules and he just couldn’t figure out that “this is how it’s done” within the Order.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:33

        Now that is neatio. So there are meanings behind the colors! How about purple? And do only Siths use red?

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 April 23, 2014 at 19:01

        Purple… I think purple is used by characters who are firmly on the Light Side, but have some sort of inner darkness in them, or something. (Mace Windu created Vaapad. I think that counts?)
        I’ve heard about some Jedi using red lightsabers, but I don’t give much credibility to the rumor. Though there are actual naturally-occurring red lightsaber crystals, I think the Jedi just associate the red color with the Dark Side too much to use them. (Sith mostly use synthetically-created crystals.)

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 19:05

        Coolio. So Windu was a bit…had a bit of darkness in him–in a way. What other colors to Sith have?

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 April 23, 2014 at 19:14

        Sith? I don’t know. I’ve heard of fallen Jedi keeping and using their same lightsabers, but primarily Sith use red. Perhaps yellow, or orange? No idea. :-S

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:11

        Orange would incredible!

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 April 24, 2014 at 14:20

        mmmm… true! X-P But, unless it’s sort of a russet-y autumn orange, or in with a variegated fabric with red, brown, yellow, and greens, orange is not my color. So I’ll just stick to green. I think I must be part Wood-Elf. :-P

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 15:08

        You know, I’d believe that. I have a red one.

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 April 24, 2014 at 15:38

        The ironic thing is that I really look more like one of the Rohirrim. (For one thing, my hair is dark auburn/chestnut, and there are no ginger elves.)

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:01

        The Rohirrim are really cool, aren’t they? I love them.

      • 17 erinkenobi2893 April 24, 2014 at 23:06

        They are! X-D It’s actually a standing joke that Obi-Wan is one, with my friends. :-P We took a picture of Lego Obi-Wan on a horse from a LotR set. X-D

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:32

        Haha! I’d like to see that!

      • 19 erinkenobi2893 April 24, 2014 at 23:45

        I’ll have to post the photo sometime. ;-)

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 12:48

        Definitely!

      • 21 erinkenobi2893 April 25, 2014 at 16:26

        It would make a neat banner for my blog… hmmm. :-P

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:23

        You should do that!

      • 23 erinkenobi2893 April 25, 2014 at 23:01

        Methinks I shall upload Horatio. ;-P

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 16:06

        Yes, yes.

      • 25 erinkenobi2893 April 26, 2014 at 17:16

        Aww… he’s pixellated! Grrr! I must find a higher-resolution picture.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 18:51

        Yes, you must!

      • 27 erinkenobi2893 April 27, 2014 at 19:56

        Indeed.
        I should also find one of Captain Pellew. I love Captain Pellew! He’s the coolest!!!

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 14:39

        Now who’s he?

      • 29 erinkenobi2893 April 28, 2014 at 22:17

        Captain Pellew is Horatio’s commanding officer. ^_^ Also sort of Horatio’s father figure. ;-)

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:38

        I see. He has a great name.

      • 31 erinkenobi2893 April 29, 2014 at 17:41

        Indeed! X-D HE IS SO AWESOME!!!

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 18:01

        I second that!

      • 33 erinkenobi2893 April 29, 2014 at 18:04

        ;-D

      • 34 erinkenobi2893 April 24, 2014 at 23:52

        I’m having problems finding the photo. Obviously, I need to sort my photos better…

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 12:48

        Mine are always a disgraceful mess.

      • 36 erinkenobi2893 April 25, 2014 at 16:26

        Mine, too.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:23

        It’s a pity, I know, but I kinda like it that way.

      • 38 erinkenobi2893 April 25, 2014 at 23:02

        Me too. *scratches head* Maybe it got deleted by accident? :-(

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 16:07

        I hope not!

      • 40 erinkenobi2893 April 26, 2014 at 17:16

        Maybe I never took the picture… :-(

      • 41 erinkenobi2893 April 26, 2014 at 17:17

        I can always re-take it. ;-)

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 18:52

        Well, I hope you do! I’d love to see it.

      • 43 erinkenobi2893 April 27, 2014 at 19:57

        Definitely. X-D I mean, Obi-Wan impersonating Eomer… what’s not to love! X-P
        (He’s probably shorter than Eomer, though. :-P)

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 14:39

        He might be. But Obi-Wan isn’t short, is he?

      • 45 erinkenobi2893 April 28, 2014 at 22:17

        No, he’s actually more just average… in general, that is. In America he’d be considered short. ;-P British people are just short, compared to Americans. X-P

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:37

        Ha. I didn’t know that!

      • 47 erinkenobi2893 April 29, 2014 at 17:40

        Yeah… I think it’s mostly race/ethnicity or whatever they call that in our malarkey of political correctness. (I always try my hardest to be politically incorrect and extremely polite at the same time. It is disconcerting to radicals and/or vociferous liberals. :-P )

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 18:01

        *laughing lots* Okay. I must adopt that approach if you don’t mind! That’s fabulous.

      • 49 erinkenobi2893 April 29, 2014 at 18:04

        X-D Sure!

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 18:07

        Awesome!

      • 51 erinkenobi2893 April 30, 2014 at 14:11

        It also helps when dealing with nosy busybodies. Insults are so much more elegant when delivered politely. :-P

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:10

        Yes! And it usually throws the opponent off!

      • 53 erinkenobi2893 May 1, 2014 at 14:41

        Indeed! X-D
        I learned a lot of the throwing-off technique from Qui-Gon. :-P

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:06

        Yeah, he was good at that.

      • 55 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 12:55

        X-P
        Oh, Obi-Wan was reading over my shoulder and slapped me upside the head. :-P

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:09

        *laughing* No! He doesn’t strike me as the sort to be so mean.

      • 57 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 13:21

        It wasn’t mean… it was more of a gentle “You rascal, you, Erin” thing. :-P

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:48

        Oh, I see. He seems like the sort that would do that. You should have slapped him.

      • 59 erinkenobi2893 May 3, 2014 at 19:47

        0_0 Slap him back?! And risk starting a slap fight?! I’m sorry, but he could slap me right down the hole and out the other side of the hill!
        ( :-P )

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:40

        *laughing* But he wouldn’t! It would catch him off guard!

      • 61 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 14:46

        Because he doesn’t expect a lady to slap him first? 0_0 Oh, I forgot. He’s a gentleman. He doesn’t hit girls. :-P

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 18:07

        Is the professor a gentleman, would you say?

      • 63 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 23:48

        Yes, indeed. It takes a gentleman to wear a top hat that well. ;-D

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:42

        *bigly big smiles*

      • 65 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 12:49

        Obi-Wan borrowed my straw hat again. He says it’s to keep from getting sunburned. I think he’s secretly caught on to the fact that secretly I like him having my hat cameo when he appears in stories. ;-P Though he does need to keep from getting sunburned. He’s fairer than Anakin.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 13:00

        Is he? I didn’t know that!

      • 67 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 14:42

        Oh yes. Lighter skin than Anakin, lighter hair, even lighter eyes. Weird, huh? :-P

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 15:54

        It is!

      • 69 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 18:15

        So, I guess Obi-Wan does need my sunhat. From a certain point of view. :-P

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 23:06

        It seems so.

      • 71 erinkenobi2893 May 8, 2014 at 11:02

        He has enough freckles a’ready. :-P

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 14:53

        I did not know that.

      • 73 erinkenobi2893 May 9, 2014 at 14:48

        Well, he’s ginger–what do you expect! :-P

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 20:45

        He does not have red hair!

      • 75 erinkenobi2893 May 10, 2014 at 13:08

        No… but he does have red highlights… :-P In some of the closeups of “The Phantom Menace,” the freckles are actually visible, and in the second-generation animation model for the Clone Wars they actually managed to work them in. (I don’t know why they didn’t try with the original animation model, since they already had that sort of paler discoloration on one cheek–it might be a very faded scar, but I’m not sure. It might not even be intentional… but I think they would have noticed and fixed it if it wasn’t…)

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 12:50

        I never noticed any of that!

      • 77 erinkenobi2893 May 13, 2014 at 13:38

        Yeah… there was this one shot in which everyone else was looking so washed-out except for Panaka, and Obi-Wan. :-P
        Am listening to Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons.” ^_^

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2014 at 12:57

        I love Vivaldi. Especially his guitar concertos.

      • 79 erinkenobi2893 May 14, 2014 at 13:02

        Vivaldi is great. ^_^

  2. 80 Me, Myself and DIY April 17, 2014 at 10:52

    Well this one sort of takes the phrases “He gave me a death stare” or “If looks could kill.” to a whole new level Professor!

    • 81 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:12

      Yes, yes! It will mean something different when you read it again, huh?

      • 82 Me, Myself and DIY April 17, 2014 at 16:21

        Pictures in my head of salami shaped people throwing weapons? Yeah, that’s a little different. ;)

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:25

        Haha! That would look a bit odd. But you know, I’m not sure DS is shaped like salami…

      • 84 Me, Myself and DIY April 18, 2014 at 15:31

        True, it’s just what popped in my head at the moment. :)

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:27

        And I definitely see why! It made me laugh!

  3. 86 Bethy April 16, 2014 at 20:13

    I always wondered about this. Now I know. Thank you Professor

    • 87 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:30

      (Yes, I just recently read this in a thriller, and it seemed so odd. Thought I’d ask the PL about it.)

      • 88 Bethy April 17, 2014 at 14:28

        Well it doesn’t seem half odd to me. Perfectly normal almost. Maybe because I’ve had it happen?

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:17

        Really? How does it feel?

      • 90 Bethy April 18, 2014 at 18:58

        It’s an uncomfortable feeling that is for sure.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 12:56

        Makes you want to gouge eyes out I bet.

      • 92 Bethy May 5, 2014 at 10:30

        I’m not quite that violent I don’t think.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 13:07

        That is rather violent, I admit.

  4. 94 The Dancing Rider April 16, 2014 at 20:06

    Oh my, professor. That alternate ending! :/ Eek!

    • 95 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:26

      I apologize! Was the first ending a bit better?

      • 96 The Dancing Rider April 16, 2014 at 20:53

        Oh yes. But then I secretly liked that DS shut them up in a hurry!

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:02

        And just like something he’d do!

  5. 98 L. Marie April 16, 2014 at 14:17

    Wow! Haven’t they learned yet that Daddy Salami always wins??? Well, I guess they learned that the hard way.

    • 99 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:21

      You would think they wouldn’t ignore him, at least. The fear of DS must be instilled in them yet!

  6. 100 Jackie April 16, 2014 at 09:27

    Exactly! When is Mr. Ratherquiet not insulted or offended?! He always seems to be bellyaching and whining about something or another. Yeesh!

    • 101 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:15

      Haha. Yeesh indeed! It’s quite maddening if you take the time to think about it. He needs a slap, I think.

  7. 102 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 00:48

    *tiptoeing in* Is everyone still alive? Did the Professor shoot anyone else? *skeedattling FAST out of PL* WEeEEEEEEEeeee>>>>>>>>>>LadyP

    • 103 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:12

      The professor isn’t violent!

      • 104 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 01:13

        Yes he is! He likes swords and now pistols. (sad face) Where did my friend go?

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:15

        I’ll be sweet now.

      • 106 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 01:17

        You prummise? *hiccup*

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 19:54

        Of course! *walks away muttering*

      • 108 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 19:55

        Excuse me? What NOW??? *eye roll*

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:24

        Is an eye roll like an egg roll?

      • 110 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 20:40

        A-ha. If you say so.

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 15:53

        Well, I’m not sure it would be tasty.

      • 112 Amy Pinkrose April 17, 2014 at 15:55

        Prof Duke! *sad face* I am just about to go out to my gardens. BIG garden day for me. My Mom said I just cannot play today. *sniffle*

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:19

        Well…I’ll come, then!

      • 114 Amy Pinkrose April 17, 2014 at 16:40

        *tapping muddy foot* I’m waiting. Where are ya?

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:27

        The professor had a bit of an accident.

      • 116 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 15:30

        OH NO! NO!!!!!!! Oh please tell LadyP the Professor is OK!!!?

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:26

        Yes! The professor is doing better! Thanks for caring, LadyP!

      • 118 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 16:28

        *wiping sweat from brow* Oh thank GOODNESS!!! The Professor is OK! *BIG sigh of relief!*

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:50

        *hands you a cookie*

      • 120 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 16:52

        *mmmmmm* OH NO! CRASH! *faints*

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:21

        But why?

      • 122 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 17:23

        Whywhatwhywhatwhywhat? LadyP says as she flies out the door to go back to gardens. *waving goodbye* 💋💋💋 *blush*

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:53

        Bye LadyP!

      • 124 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 18:27

        HI, Prof!!! Whipped in to for my cam to tak pics of woowowowowo clouds. Now back to the worms! :-)

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 12:55

        And be nice to the worms, HerLadyP! I like worms.

      • 126 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 13:03

        I try very hard not to chop up worms. I like worms too!

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 13:20

        Yes, they’re sweet one me, you know.

      • 128 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 13:23

        Who, worms?

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 20:26

        Yes!

      • 130 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 20:59

        NO!

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 21:20

        Why not?

      • 132 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 21:52

        Around and around the mayberry bush. *sigh* Who spiked your water?

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 14:01

        I drink mud.

      • 134 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 15:33

        *sitting on the edge of chair biting nails* …

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:28

        Give you a nail clipper.

      • 136 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 16:29

        Too late. The nails are all bitten off. Good teeth.

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:51

        I can tell! Wowawee.

      • 138 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 16:53

        You can? But how?

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:23

        Because I know!

      • 140 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 19:22

        Well of course you know. You ARE the Professor!

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 12:59

        But I don’t know all, you know.

      • 142 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 13:04

        Sure you do. I know you do.

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 13:20

        Now why?

      • 144 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 13:24

        Because I was born asking why, that’s why!

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 20:27

        Now that’s a wonder!

      • 146 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 20:59

        I should most certainly say! That it is!

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 21:20

        Spit-tooey!

      • 148 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 21:52

        Too tips!

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 14:01

        Haha!

      • 150 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 21:54

        Do you KNOW how many convo we are having right now? Professor, you done doey it again! Ya making my brain hurt!

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 14:02

        I’m sorry! Here, have an orange.

  8. 152 Julie Harris April 15, 2014 at 21:01

    I am trying to picture a three-way staring war…

    • 153 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:06

      Yes, yes. Is it possible?

      • 154 Julie Harris April 16, 2014 at 01:42

        I don’t know. Unfortunately I don’t do too well at staring contests… I can’t keep a straight face!

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 19:55

        Haha! That’s my problem too. I usually end up laughing.

  9. 156 technophile9 April 15, 2014 at 20:50

    I have guessed the Professor’s secret identity! He is… Quentin Tarantino. :P

    JK, but it was a bit more violent today. The real question is: what would win in a fight? Daggers, revolvers, or dynamite?

    • 157 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:03

      Haha! It’s a neatio last name, you must admit.

      I’d go with dynamite. How about you?

      • 158 technophile9 April 16, 2014 at 08:57

        Dagger can cut off the fuse of a stick of dynamite, rendering it useless…

        … but a revolver would shoot before a dagger could make contact…

        … But the fuse on a stick of dynamite is quite hard to shoot off, so even if the man with a revolver killed the man with the dynamite, the dynamite would go off anyway, killing them both.

        Dagger>Dynamite>Revolver>Dagger!

        It’s like Rock Paper Scissors! ;)

      • 159 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:14

        That what I was thinking! It’s a dadblamed triangle! Now…a flamethrower would probably fetch them all. Well…it might make the dynamite blow up, though.

  10. 160 Jazzy Couldren April 15, 2014 at 19:27

    I’s done like that. Schwarz and Ratherquite deserved it… :}

    • 161 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:49

      I’m sure you think so. What should be done with DS?

  11. 162 Simply Skeptical April 15, 2014 at 18:51

    Leave it to Schwarz to stare revolvers LOL!
    They’re a funny pair – prim & proper Ratherquite and thick, but real Schwarz. Unless death in the Punchy Lands is different than reality the alternate ending is a bit violent. Riveting tale enjoyed as usual.

    • 163 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:36

      I wonder what the professor would stare.

      Many thanks! What would you stare?

      • 164 Simply Skeptical April 16, 2014 at 15:13

        The professor would stare magical wands with potions even if he was taught to do so by Merlin.

        I would stare compassion, even though it’s not material; nothing hurtful. Maybe cotton candy would be nice to stare. :-)

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:23

        *laughing* Cotton candy? I would like to be around you when you decide to stare that. I do wonder if you stare pink or blue, though…

  12. 166 desertdweller29 April 15, 2014 at 17:52

    Funny… I now read their dialogue with their voices loud and clear in my head. Chickit!

    • 167 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:31

      Do you have a favorite character? I must needs know!

      • 168 desertdweller29 April 15, 2014 at 21:00

        Based on this interaction, I must say Schwarz because he would not indulge Mr. Ratherquite’s insecurities, and ask him what has led to his feelings of insult this time. One must not take them too seriously. Plus, Schwarz says chickit, which I find endearing.

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:06

        Very good reasons. Schwarz says a lot of funny things from time to time, as you pointed out. I like saying Chickit. Have you tried to say it?

      • 170 desertdweller29 April 16, 2014 at 03:34

        Indeed! The Professor has introduced me to a new vocabulary that I rather like. :)

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 19:58

        It is catching. I’m always about saying it, you know.

  13. 172 John W. Howell April 15, 2014 at 16:56

    I loved this and would choose the first ending. The alternate seemed a little too realistic. I got into a contest with my cat once. My stare threw mice, kibble, and some catnip. Nothing worked. She brought me down with a stare of spray on the couch. Never knew what hit me.

    • 173 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:30

      Many thanks, John! *laughing too many lots* Goodness! Now that was a weapon… Do you have a plan for next time?

      • 174 John W. Howell April 15, 2014 at 22:26

        Think I’ll hit her with a water bottle stare. She hates water.

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:08

        That’ll fetch her. I do that all the time.

  14. 176 ladycheetah7 April 15, 2014 at 16:40

    Love the alternate ending and by the way, DS needs to be put in a straight jacket. Going around hurting people is not an extra curricular activity. If I were ST I would sue DS and have him arrested. He can use Mr. R as an eyewitness.

    • 177 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:30

      Haha! He sure does. So, say that DS is put in jail. Wouldn’t you fear for your life?

      • 178 ladycheetah7 April 15, 2014 at 19:42

        My mother is meaner than him and I can stare her down so the answer to that is no.

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:50

        *laughing* Your mother is meaner than DS?! I wonder…would you stare at the professor like that?

      • 180 ladycheetah7 April 15, 2014 at 20:34

        I don’t think you are a mean person.

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:48

        No, too sweet, wouldn’t you say? *hides*

      • 182 ladycheetah7 April 15, 2014 at 21:05

        Nope.

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:06

        Then what?!

  15. 184 Debbie April 15, 2014 at 15:44

    Hmm, the alternate ending is FAR too violent — one never kills off the main characters, you know. Still, “staring daggers” is an odd expression, isn’t it? I mean, we all know what it means, but no one ever takes it to such lengths as to do bodily harm.

    • 185 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:29

      But they come back in the PL, I think. It is! Very odd. Staring daggers…it’s a wonder.

  16. 186 Angeline M April 15, 2014 at 15:34

    Oh my. Someone is feeling rather aggressive today.

    • 187 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:29

      Yes. What do you suppose made DS so aggressive?

  17. 188 Amy Pinkrose April 15, 2014 at 14:31

    Dear Heavens! I don’t know if I should even be here today. You are dangerous!

    Prof Duke! What’s wrong? OH MY! Did you get “it” out of your system? Do ya feel better? *LadyP asks as she runs out of PL*

    • 189 Amy Pinkrose April 15, 2014 at 14:32

      FYI…..Impossible to have a 3-way staredown. ONE person at all times would have to break the stare with whomever is being stared at. *running for life ….*

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:29

        *laughing lots* Unless…could the two eyes work separate of each other?

      • 191 Amy Pinkrose April 15, 2014 at 20:29

        Yah, right! Don’t think so. Unless one has “the wandering eye”.

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:48

        Which maybe be neat. You have to admit that, LadyP.

      • 193 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 00:49

        Admit nothing I shall. I am not on a witness stand. You’ll get nothing out of me!

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:12

        Not even if I ask nicely?

      • 195 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 01:13

        NO!

      • 196 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:15

        But I’ll be nice!

      • 197 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 01:18

        How do I know you don’t have your fingers crossed behind your back? HUH?

      • 198 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 19:54

        The professor wouldn’t do that sort of thing!

      • 199 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 19:55

        OK!

      • 200 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:24

        ==]:-{)=

      • 201 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 20:41

        What do all the = signs mean? Secret code?

      • 202 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 15:53

        That’s the top of my hat.

    • 203 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:28

      No, I’m safe. Just sweet. Does that help?

      But you see, I witnessed this and wrote it. I’m peaceable, only killing when absolutely necessary.

      • 204 Amy Pinkrose April 15, 2014 at 20:41

        Excuse me? Let me jiggle my left ear. Did I hear correctly you saying “peacable” related to killing. Now I really *am running full tilt*.

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:50

        *Offers you some tea before you leave*

      • 206 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 00:56

        *does he think I’m stupid?* Why, no, um, no thank you, Professor. I really would like to live to see another sunrise. But I do thank you for thinking of me though.

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:13

        But I mean well!

      • 208 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 01:14

        How can you? How can anyone trust you again? *crying*

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:15

        DS did it, not me!

      • 210 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 01:18

        But YOU wrote the dang thing! Oh, I get it. It is the MPD thingie. Hmmm…Yepper, now it all becomes so clear……

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 19:54

        I just wrote what I saw…

      • 212 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 19:55

        And you saw where exactly? …

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:24

        In the PL. But DS’s hut.

      • 214 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 20:41

        I’m lost.

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 15:54

        Can I help?

      • 216 Amy Pinkrose April 17, 2014 at 15:55

        Grab a shovel, put some knee pads on, and meet me at the corner garden! See ya!!!! Yippeeee!!!! I have some help today!!!!!

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:19

        And you know, the professor is a good gardener.

      • 218 Amy Pinkrose April 17, 2014 at 16:39

        The BOSS said FIVE minute break! So I am here! Well, put your money where your mouth is, and COME ON OVER! I am working on number 4 garden out of 16. I have THREE done! (except for shaping) Come on, Green Thumbs, give me a show! I’ll be waiting at my corner garden!

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:27

        Wowawee! That is a lot of gardens, LadyP, and you are making great progress. I’ll be over. But I don’t use gloves.

      • 220 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 15:30

        I have to. When I do regular gardening, not the hard stuff, I don’t either. I love the feel of the earth in my hands. (smile) I’ll meet you today at the east garden. OK?

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:26

        Okay! Hope you have a Patriots banner there.

      • 222 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 16:29

        Ya think they gonna win, do ya? Hmmmmm!???

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:51

        No. But I hope so. What do you think LadyP?

      • 224 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 16:53

        Well I think, whoever will win shall do so. That’s what!

      • 225 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:22

        But who are you pulling for?

      • 226 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 17:23

        Patriots cause you are.

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:54

        Aw! that’s sweet of you.

      • 228 Amy Pinkrose April 18, 2014 at 19:23

        That is because LadyP is sweet. DUH!

      • 229 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 12:59

        Is the professor?

      • 230 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 13:05

        Do what?

      • 231 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 13:20

        Is the professor sweet?

      • 232 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 13:24

        Absolutely! Without doubt! *giggling*

      • 233 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 20:27

        He is not!

      • 234 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 20:58

        *clearing throat* The man cannot even see the nose on his face!

      • 235 Professor VJ Duke April 21, 2014 at 21:20

        Without a mirror, no man can!

      • 236 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 21:51

        Shave you mean?

      • 237 Professor VJ Duke April 22, 2014 at 14:01

        I wasn’t thinking of that. Is that what I mean, though?

      • 238 Amy Pinkrose April 21, 2014 at 13:25

        *chuckle*

      • 239 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 01:26

        NO fair! You have the lead! You’ll start again with what I said tomorrow and by tomorrow I’ll be left scratching my head TRYING to remember what in tarnation was said. WELL! *shaking head* *head toss* I’ll still win. Ladies always do! Restecfurlly, LadyP

      • 240 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 19:55

        Well…couldn’t you just scroll up and look? I do, when I’m in doubt, you know.

      • 241 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 19:56

        Hmmm… The NEW reader won’t let you do that anymore. I ONLY see your last comment, unless I go to the site itself. It’s awful. It’s terrible. But the good news is, all these conversations have been stretching my brain.

      • 242 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:25

        I agree. It’s awfully inconveniencing. Suppose we shout dadblamery? Stretching your brain…you’re sharp enough!

      • 243 Amy Pinkrose April 16, 2014 at 20:42

        Hehehehehehe YOU are stretching the brain, MINE at that! Four to five conversations going at once. OH my! Sometimes the brains just pop right out of the ears. YIVEH!

      • 244 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 15:56

        Oh no! I hope that’s not painful, LadyP.

  18. 245 FictionFan April 15, 2014 at 13:50

    The second ending is totes unbelievable – that silly old Sausage would never get the better of my Schwarzy like that. What really happened was…

    Salami laughed. ‘And I can stare dynamite.’

    Schwarzy lit a match and waved it in front of Salami’s eyes. ‘Take that, you varlet. Chickit!’

    Salami’s stare exploded, hurling him into oblivion. Schwarzy and Mr R laughed and went off together to get some hot chocolate.

    • 246 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:28

      *laughing lots* Now that is just awesome, un-creative one! Hmm… See? I never believed that anyway. That’s the best ending. Hands down.

      But would Mr. R and Schwarz make peace so fast?

      • 247 FictionFan April 15, 2014 at 22:27

        *blushes like a lobster who’s forgot her sunscreen* You’re too sweet, C-W-W – I merely purloined the Professor’s hard work!

        I think so – don’t you think the sheer joy and chuckling brought on by seeing the Sausage get what he deserves would be enough to make them bond?

      • 248 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:09

        That description is simply fabulous… *laughing lots* The professor is sweet–from time to time.

        It could. But would Schwarz laugh?

      • 249 FictionFan April 16, 2014 at 13:38

        He is! From time to time!

        Why wouldn’t he?

      • 250 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:21

        Because Schwarz isn’t wicked at all! Not even the professor would laugh.

      • 251 FictionFan April 16, 2014 at 20:30

        He’s nearly as wicked as the Professor, who did laugh…!!

      • 252 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:34

        How did you know I laughed?

      • 253 FictionFan April 16, 2014 at 20:36

        I think the fact that you said *laughing lots* was a bit of a hint…

      • 254 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 15:48

        Rats and a Heifer! You’re not supposed to pick up on hints!

  19. 255 walt walker April 15, 2014 at 13:42

    Oh my! I came for a giggle and I got a Sam Peckinpah film!

    • 256 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:27

      *laughs* Dear me! Did you laugh at the gore, though?

      • 257 walt walker April 15, 2014 at 23:05

        Haha, yes! Daggers! Thrown into a human body! And guns firing bullets until another falls down! Oh dear …

        *removes monocle, dabs eye with hanky*

        whooo…! lol.

      • 258 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:11

        *laughing lots and lots* My bad. But I discovered that you have a monocle. Though I should have known that.

    • 259 deanthefish April 16, 2014 at 01:04

      You have a monocle!? I want one, I’ve always wanted one.

      • 260 walt walker April 16, 2014 at 12:49

        They do lend quite the air of distinguishment, don’t they?

    • 261 deanthefish April 16, 2014 at 15:22

      Yes I suppose they do. I wonder how one might be procured. Off to google it!

  20. 262 Susan P April 15, 2014 at 13:40

    Stares at the Professor. Such violence, sir.

    • 263 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:27

      Isn’t it violent in the PL, though? And then, you make me watch all those violent movies.

      • 264 Susan P April 15, 2014 at 20:55

        Sir! If you refer to videos about the Tower of London, you are lacking in good taste. *wink*

      • 265 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:05

        *laughing* I need someone to blame…

      • 266 Susan P April 17, 2014 at 20:17

        Well then. Hope you have a nice long weekend. I haven’t watched the video yet – spent the morning photographing things. Then my favorite son came over bringing my wonderful daughter in love and my grandson and lunch. And we watched Iron Man 3. Loved it!!

      • 267 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:08

        Susan, that sounds like such fun! I think I may have seen parts of Iron Man 3–but I can’t remember. Does Mr. Grandson have a nickname like the Princess?

      • 268 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 16:49

        It was fun. I like Iron Man. When I was a kid, super heroes were perfect. I definitely like the new generation of heroes who have anxiety, and angst. As long as they don’t over do it and become like I don’t know passive-aggressive.

        The grandson is The Samster. (His name is Sam.)

      • 269 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 17:16

        Yes, I agree. I kinda liked Batman for that reason.

        *laughing* I knew that. That’s a great name and nickname.

      • 270 Susan P April 18, 2014 at 17:22

        smiling

  21. 271 PorterGirl April 15, 2014 at 12:48

    Oooh quite a violent episode today – I like it! And I simply love the idea of being able to ‘stare’ various weapons. I had never thought of it like that. This has been both educational and thrilling – I thank you, Professor!

    • 272 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:26

      Haha, my pleasure! Now what weapon would you stare?

      • 273 PorterGirl April 15, 2014 at 20:03

        A baton. My weapon of choice (the only one I was legally allowed) in my previous life before Old College. I am quite adept. It certainly saw off pistols and daggers!

      • 274 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:40

        Wowawee! I’ve got a baton. You must teach me to use it. (Really? That’s so cool. I’d love to hear all of your stories!)

      • 275 PorterGirl April 16, 2014 at 07:28

        Certainly I will teach you. I do love a good sturdy baton. One day I shall tell you all my stories, maybe round a log fire, with muffins

      • 276 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:12

        Nice! That would be a perfect day, for sure! Thank you, Lucy.

      • 277 PorterGirl April 16, 2014 at 20:23

        Anytime :)

      • 278 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:32

        *bows*

  22. 279 Alastair Savage April 15, 2014 at 12:29

    I like the alternate ending best. No, wait, …. no, please, don’t you stare at me like that …

    • 280 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:26

      *laughing* But what about the gore? Wasn’t it sorta freeing?

      • 281 walt walker April 15, 2014 at 23:08

        Are you saying you want out, P.VJ?

      • 282 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:11

        Out? Nah. Do you think so?

      • 283 walt walker April 16, 2014 at 13:34

        I never know what I’m thinking until someone tells me.

      • 284 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:20

        Same here! What do you make of that?

      • 285 walt walker April 17, 2014 at 18:33

        No idea. You tell me.

      • 286 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:50

        We are wiser than everyone thinks.

      • 287 Alastair Savage April 16, 2014 at 06:26

        Freeing of my innards, you mean? Yeah, I like a bit of gore but only now and again, at the weekends and on special days.

      • 288 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:12

        Haha! No one likes that sort of gore, I imagine. Isn’t that what raptors do to a soul?

  23. 289 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2014 at 12:26

    …..standing very far away from you today….

    Did that feel good, Duke? Have it out of your system now? Those two may not forgive you for dreaming them dead…
    I love a good stare down, you know.

    • 290 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:26

      But didn’t I just see that and write it down? It’s real, you know. But I am feeling vicious…

      • 291 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 15, 2014 at 20:02

        Okay, then. Yeah, I’d say you are feeling vicious…

      • 292 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:39

        And so was Salami. It was unconnected, you know.

      • 293 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 16, 2014 at 03:24

        Salami is always vicious. What was unconnected?

      • 294 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 19:56

        That we were both feeling vicious, I think. *thinks about Hank Morgan*

      • 295 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 16, 2014 at 20:19

        I’m beginning to wonder about us, Duke.
        *swooshing eyes back and forth* Who?

      • 296 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:31

        It’s good to wonder! Wonder in wonderment.

        Wasn’t he a baseball player?

      • 297 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 16, 2014 at 20:35

        I already am wondering in wonderment..tis nice.

        Of course…I always think music with you. Shan’t do that as much, huh?

      • 298 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 15:47

        Well, it’s probably a safe bet to always think music. I think, that is.

      • 299 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 17, 2014 at 17:06

        Good, because I do, I guess.

      • 300 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:28

        I know you do!

      • 301 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 18, 2014 at 15:52

        *smiling for you*

  24. 302 K. A. Brace April 15, 2014 at 12:12

    If you had had them staring ‘aps’ and ‘texts’ at each other they would be crippled but not dead enough so you couldn’t use them as characters anymore, or is resurection possible on Punchyland? >KB

    • 303 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:25

      You know, the professor has never sent a text or downloaded an app. What do you make of that, KB? Well, death occurs frequently in the PL, and the characters do return…

      • 304 K. A. Brace April 15, 2014 at 19:29

        I never have either. In fact a friend bought me an early birthday gift–a Samsung Tablet–said I need to come out of the cave. >KB

      • 305 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:49

        And what do you think? I’ve been thinking about getting something like that.

      • 306 K. A. Brace April 15, 2014 at 19:50

        I just started playing with it–well setting it up. Looks cool. >KB

      • 307 Professor VJ Duke April 15, 2014 at 19:51

        I know! Aren’t those things hard to get set-up? Can you answer comments and blog on them?

      • 308 K. A. Brace April 15, 2014 at 20:21

        Yes you can. >KB

      • 309 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 00:47

        Do you?

      • 310 K. A. Brace April 16, 2014 at 00:50

        Not yet. >KB

      • 311 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 01:13

        I should get one.

      • 312 K. A. Brace April 16, 2014 at 12:06

        I don’t know. Should you? Best. Smiles>KB

      • 313 Professor VJ Duke April 16, 2014 at 20:15

        I think so. Wouldn’t it be professorish?

      • 314 K. A. Brace April 16, 2014 at 21:07

        Sort of, depends on what sort of Professor you are. >KB

      • 315 Professor VJ Duke April 17, 2014 at 16:03

        What kind do you think I am?

      • 316 K. A. Brace April 17, 2014 at 18:08

        A funny one. >KB

      • 317 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 15:47

        Thank much, KB. What would you stare–given the opportunity?

      • 318 K. A. Brace April 18, 2014 at 15:49

        Blankly–always keep your cards close to your vest. >KB

      • 319 Professor VJ Duke April 18, 2014 at 16:29

        That’s very smart. And wise, KB.


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