Earth and the Punchy Lands

The professor was staring at two pictures.

Earth.

bluemarble_apollo17_big[1]

And the Punchy Lands.

globe_west_2048

(At least, someone’s interpretation of it.)

I was looking at these intently—seated at a table in Cashew City—when Schwarz Tauptinker sat down at the table.

“So ho-ho hi!” Schwarz announced expectantly.

What he was expecting, I’m not sure.

“Hello, Schwarz,” I said.

“Why are you staring at kiddy balls? Chickit.”

“No, no. These are pictures of planets.”

“I knew that.” Schwarz laughed.

And that’s when she sat down. She has short black hair, but it’s likely to change. As a matter of fact, everything about her is likely to change. But one thing changes more often than any other thing that changes–if that makes sense.

Her name.

The professor wasn’t sure what to say.

“Aren’t you two going to greet me?” she asked.

“I don’t think so,” Schwarz answered.

“Everyone with me sends you greetings,” I said finally. “And…what’s your name today?”

“Today it’s Lottie,” she answered. “And that’s better than Ollie—which it was on my last assignment.”

I think I should explain.

Lottie, you see, is some sort of secret-agent. (I bet MM knows her somewhat. He was an agent at one time, I hear.) I think she’s worked with Mark Malone, and I think Mortimer Butterfield hires her quite frequently. When she’s about, it’s usually because she’s after something—or someone.

“And my name is Schwarzio.” Schwarz laughed at that one.

Lottie gave Schwarz the side-eye. (The look is scary, you know.)

But Schwarz didn’t mind.

“So…” the professor began. “What are you…what are you doing?”

“Well, professor…” And Lottie snatched up the two pictures I had been studying.

“You were just thieved on, dude,” Schwarz observed.

Lottie stood. “This second picture was produced by my current employer. You’re not allowed to have it. And I’ll want to know how you got it when I return.”

“When might that dadblamery occur?” I asked.

“You’ll never see me coming.”

Schwarz didn’t like that. “But I see you going?”

Lottie Ollie was gone.

“Oh dear,” I said.

And I made sure my katana was close.

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268 Responses to “Earth and the Punchy Lands”


  1. 1 Sonya Solomonovich August 18, 2014 at 17:49

    Cool! I must have missed this one when I was on my travels. I like having a female character in the mix.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2014 at 01:19

      Yes! And she’s a spicy one. There’s lots in the PL. I decided I should bring them all in. Do you suppose Lottie is good?

      • 3 Sonya Solomonovich August 19, 2014 at 04:57

        Yes, sounds excellent!

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2014 at 11:56

        Great!

      • 5 Sonya Solomonovich August 19, 2014 at 04:57

        Or do you mean good as in good vs. evil?

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2014 at 11:57

        Well, yes. You see, I’m not sure–overall.

  2. 7 erinkenobi2893 April 24, 2014 at 16:16

    Oh dear… I’ll bet that you getting that second picture was Daddy Salami’s fault. *reaches for her falchion, checks that her stiletto is still hidden in her boot, and checks her lightsaber*

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:03

      *laughing* Does DS unnerve you a bit, bits, and little bits?

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 April 24, 2014 at 23:08

        No, he just makes me want to throw up. :-P It takes someone like Dooku–or Obi-Wan if I didn’t know we were on the same side–to unnerve me.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:33

        Hahaha. How about the Veezler?

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 April 24, 2014 at 23:53

        I’d have to look him up. ;-) I guess I can tell you on his page. ;-P

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 12:50

        He scares the professor sometimes, but I think I’m like him a bit, don’t you?

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 April 25, 2014 at 16:28

        Perhaps… :-P

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:24

        Nah, I just wish I was wicked.

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 April 25, 2014 at 23:04

        Well, I think being naughty is fun. For instance… pranking Master Windu… and Uncle Obi-Wan… :-P

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 16:07

        I’d love to prank Windu–the look on his face would be amazing!

      • 17 erinkenobi2893 April 26, 2014 at 17:18

        Yup, it would. If you didn’t run away screaming. (That’s happened to Anakin several times; Obi-Wan just never gets caught. ;-P)
        I mean, I ran away screaming after Windu glared at Anakin. :-P

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 18:53

        But, together, we could take Windu.

      • 19 erinkenobi2893 April 27, 2014 at 19:59

        Probably… ;-P If we worked as a team. Anakin is most notoriously NOT a team player. :-P

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 14:43

        I know, right? But he did like Padme.

      • 21 erinkenobi2893 April 28, 2014 at 22:15

        True… but he just is deferential to Padme… which can annoy her no end, especially if she thinks he’s just doing it to get in good with her… check this out! It’s super cool!
        http://justthefiction.blogspot.com/2012/03/star-wars-mafia.html

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:36

        That does look coolio!

      • 23 erinkenobi2893 April 29, 2014 at 17:38

        X-D If only there was a way we could play it over the Internet! Like in a chat room or something, and private message the moderator for actions???

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 18:00

        That would be really cool. In a few months or so, I might open up PL forums with a chatroom.

      • 25 erinkenobi2893 April 29, 2014 at 18:03

        AWESOME!
        *bows to your superior coding/technical/computer/internet wisdom* I wish I knew how to do that. It would be really cool if I could. (In fact, I was hoping that my author website would work kind of like that… Only I don’t know how to do it. *sigh*)

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 18:07

        I could give you some tips if you’d like! I’m not really a programer. But there are sights out there that could help.

      • 27 erinkenobi2893 April 30, 2014 at 14:10

        That would be great! Thanks! :-)

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:10

        Could you shoot me an email?

      • 29 erinkenobi2893 May 1, 2014 at 14:40

        Mmmm… I don’t think so. Safety concerns… I only have one email address, and that’s my private email. I should talk to Dad about getting “erinkenobi2893@cox.net” for my blogging friends, but I’m not sure what he’d say.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:06

        Okay, I’ll see what I can do here.

        This link is a free forum hosting site. http://www.proboards.com They’re rather nice, I think.

        And this link is for a chatroom: http://chatroll.com

        There are more options, but that’s the basic stuff.

      • 31 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 12:54

        Thanks. :-D
        Oh, and funny: when I looked at the chatroll site, I originally saw “cha troll.” And I thought, wait, trolls drink chai tea?! X-P

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:08

        *laughing* It’s a weird name, huh?

      • 33 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 13:20

        Not so much, but definitely LESS weird than “chai troll” would be. X-P

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:47

        For sure, for sure.

      • 35 erinkenobi2893 May 3, 2014 at 19:45

        And it certainly sounds less weird than “Chatzy” does. ;-P

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:39

        That’s a cool name!

      • 37 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 14:44

        That’s the name of the other big chatroom base site, I think. Wikia has a chat option if you’re logged into your fan wiki. That’s where I first chatted online. Lots of awepic people around there. X-D

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 18:03

        That does sound cool! Is there a huge StarsWars fan site?

      • 39 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 23:47

        I think it’s theForce.net or something, but I’m only on Wikia. ;-) The SW fan database is called “Wookiepedia”; you can get links to it from starwars.com in the encyclopedia section. (For some reason, Adi’s link is missing, so I always have to follow Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan’s link there…)
        The core characters have the longest pages. In fact, I think that Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Luke’s files are each upwards of a megabite, if you include the pictures. :-P
        But mostly, I’m on the LSW Creations Wiki. :-) I have the same username on Wikia as here.

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:40

        Oh, okay. Thanks. I always thought there was such a site, but I’d never seen one.

      • 41 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 12:47

        There had to be, what with all the SW fans out there and all. :-P

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:59

        Yes, I agree.

      • 43 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 13:58

        Where else would they all hang out? :-P Awww, cute squirrel on the deck…

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 15:51

        In the PL? Do you eat squirrels?

      • 45 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 18:14

        I’m talking about the SW fans, actually… and no, not really. I just think they’re cheeky and rascally and fun. :-P

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 23:06

        Yes, yes. They should come hang out here. It would be a wonder.

        Rascals indeed!

      • 47 erinkenobi2893 May 7, 2014 at 15:40

        It would be fun.
        Sometimes I wish I was a squirrel. :-P

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2014 at 23:28

        It would be fun to climb like that.

      • 49 erinkenobi2893 May 8, 2014 at 11:31

        Without needing equipment! X-D

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 14:59

        Yes!

      • 51 erinkenobi2893 May 9, 2014 at 15:01

        No clumsy ropes and harnesses!
        My Redwall RP character is a squirrel ;-P

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 20:50

        Really? That’s cool.

      • 53 erinkenobi2893 May 10, 2014 at 14:36

        Has whatsername turned up again after the photo incident? You know, the creepy secret agent person.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 12:56

        No! Who?

      • 55 erinkenobi2893 May 13, 2014 at 13:47

        Lottie? Dotty? I don’t remember. The person who took your picture of the Punchy Lands.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2014 at 13:05

        Oh, LottieOllie. She’s about, I think. Which is scary.

      • 57 erinkenobi2893 May 15, 2014 at 14:55

        Ooooh… *readies battle axe*

      • 58 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 12:47

        Even if they aren’t all on there. :-P

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:59

        I bet more than 20% are.

      • 60 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 14:41

        Most likely. :-P

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 15:53

        *nods professorishly*

  3. 62 L. Marie April 24, 2014 at 11:42

    “You were just thieved on, dude.”–That line just cracked me up.
    Looks like you’ll have to go armed everywhere you go from now on, since creepy Lottie/Ollie threatened you. Unless there is a City Watch or Peace Keepers you can rely on to come to your aid.

    • 63 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:58

      Well, perhaps I should hire a bodyguard? Maybe I should. Schwarz is always saying something interesting. Haha. Yes, I’ll have to travel with the katana!

      • 64 L. Marie April 25, 2014 at 03:46

        Um, maybe you can get Manly-Man to be your bodyguard!

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:16

        Now that would be awesome. Wouldn’t have to fear again!

  4. 66 Lesley April 24, 2014 at 05:48

    Don’t wait! Grab the katana and take the fight to her! You can’t live feartude!

    • 67 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:57

      *laughing* You mean cut her down? It is appealing, Lesley!

      • 68 Lesley April 24, 2014 at 17:36

        Haha no, Professor, not that extreme! Perhaps just tattoo her as a warning?

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:04

        Hahaha! Yes! But where? ON the arm?

      • 70 Lesley April 28, 2014 at 18:56

        On the arm. And then on the face if she doesn’t get the message the first time!

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:25

        Wowawee! That’s the stuff, Lesley!

  5. 72 The Reading Girl April 23, 2014 at 22:50

    I like your world :)

    • 73 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:51

      Many thanks! Do you have a favorite character?

  6. 74 The Dancing Rider April 23, 2014 at 21:49

    L. O. L. It started with the two pictures. I laughed so loud at “someone’s” representation of the Punchy Lands.

    Then, of course, I was happily following along in the, again, vexing, conversation when “Schwarzio” was announced by Schwarz……..which drew another tittering outburst from me! Side eye was definitely the way to go here, Professor. Maybe with a slight rattling of katana and case.

    Now it just figures that Lottie-Ollie (part of a motley spy crew no doubt) would be the one to confiscate the PL globe picture…..something’s in the works. I would have liked to slice that thing in two with a blade, quickly, as she was walking away – just for the dadblamery of it all! Wicked, I know. ;-)

    • 75 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:47

      I know! It’s a shocker that Schwarz would call himself that. Do you suppose he felt Italian?

      Yes, for sure! The katana’s presence must be made known.

      And wicked is glorious. I should have done that, DR. I do think that Lottie-Ollie is part of a motley spy crew! *laughing* Should I have…stopped her?

      • 76 The Dancing Rider April 24, 2014 at 16:20

        No stopping of motley Lottie-Ollie. I am certain things will come to pass eventually.

        As for Schwarz, I think he was mocking….

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:03

        Then again, you know, she did seem a bit decent, don’t you think?

        Ooo, good point. I bet you could be right.

      • 78 The Dancing Rider April 24, 2014 at 23:41

        She was sort of decent about it, yes. But still — claiming no one should have had it. Ooops!

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 12:46

        Yes, I felt rather silly, you know.

  7. 80 Jackie April 23, 2014 at 20:50

    Lottie Ollie – what a strange but intriguing name.

    • 81 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:43

      It is. I kinda like the first one, don’t you?

      • 82 Jackie April 24, 2014 at 23:24

        I like both together like this Lottieollie. I find the sound pleasing and intriguing when you say it all together.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:38

        It is, Jackie! I fear this might stick. Many thanks!

  8. 84 laugraeva April 23, 2014 at 20:45

    What does “dadblamery” mean again?

    • 85 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:43

      Well…think of it as…well…for instance…grass that is pink is dadblamery.

      • 86 laugraeva April 24, 2014 at 16:59

        So nonsense?

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:04

        Yes, that’s right! Isn’t it a great word?

  9. 88 Julie Harris April 23, 2014 at 18:45

    Lottie seems like a whole lotta fun! That Schwartzio is a clever one…

    • 89 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 19:03

      Is he clever or just sweet?

  10. 90 technophile9 April 23, 2014 at 16:49

    I’m curious about Lottie. Or is it Ollie? Or Lollie? Or Ottie?

    But how did you get the pictures? Why were you in Cashew City? And who’s employing Lottollie?!

    So many questions! ;)

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:55

      *laughs* Well, Lottie’s right for now.

      I found the pictures, actually. Now I know I shouldn’t have them. I was in the city for lunch actually. I stop there every so often, you know. I’m not sure about that one! Maybe Mortimer?

      Questions are awesome!

  11. 92 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 23, 2014 at 15:55

    Schwarz is pretty funny, Duke. I like his silly responses. Lottie is so mysterious! Why does she upset you? Are you worried about what she’s up to and who she works for?

    I’m nervous for you…

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:54

      He always lightens the mood, I think. Yes, I am! Aren’t you?

      Thank you, Audith. Maybe Charlie will help.

      • 94 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 23, 2014 at 20:08

        Yes, I’m totally scared of her, actually.

        I hope he can help you, Duketh.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:42

        Nah! You’d beat her any day. Of that, I’m sure, you know.

        He hates me now, so he probably won’t, unless you give him a talk.

      • 96 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 24, 2014 at 19:38

        Would I? How do you know? Tell me, Duketh.

        We had a long talk. He’s sorry about the cheese, and your boot. You know, animals only do these sorts of things to show their love.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:24

        Well, you’ve got a square head on your shoulders. I mean, a head on your square shoulders. You know what I mean. And you’re feisty.

        And I threw him in the woods out of love. Did you tell him that?

      • 98 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 25, 2014 at 02:40

        Your comment makes me feisty…

        No, I didn’t tell him that. Why did you do that again? *laughs*

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:10

        Well, if he’s torturing me out of love, it’s only fair I do the same thing, wouldn’t you say?

      • 100 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 25, 2014 at 19:24

        Well, yes, I do believe the tortur is half the fun, Duke.
        *pains her to agree*

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:49

        *lets out a victory whoop*

      • 102 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 26, 2014 at 21:07

        *adds more fuel to his fire*

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 19:01

        *blows up*

      • 104 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 27, 2014 at 23:26

        *slaps her leg* Dang it! I gotta get a new Duke now…

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 14:44

        *laughing* That’s it? Crap.

      • 106 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:13

        *laughs* How do I get you back? This is more your area…
        What will this lady do now?

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:29

        I don’t know… Didn’t you kill me?

      • 108 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:34

        NO! I don’t think I did…did I?
        Do something, Duke. Anything…

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:38

        I’ll probably fly back, if that’s fine.

      • 110 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:46

        Okay. *waits nicely*

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:51

        *flies back*

      • 112 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 19:58

        *catches you with her net*
        I’m sorry I blew you up, Duketh. I missed you.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 20:22

        Yes, that’s what Duke told me.

      • 114 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 20:29

        Oh, no…

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 20:30

        *nods*

      • 116 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 28, 2014 at 20:40

        You’re teasing me!

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:24

        Yes!

      • 118 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 29, 2014 at 19:30

        *releases the hounds*

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:01

        On me?!

      • 120 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 30, 2014 at 00:46

        I don’t think I’d consider that, Duke. Do you…

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:56

        There must be a bunny then.

      • 122 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 30, 2014 at 20:15

        *laugh a whole bunch*
        Bunches of bunnies right over there…

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:59

        Send them out!

      • 124 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 15:44

        *mush* !!!

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:13

        Coolio.

      • 126 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 20:26

        Why are my hounds sniffing you, Duke? Do you have bacon?

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:30

        *draws the katana and ends their lives*

      • 128 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 20:44

        *laughs because he doesn’t share bacon*
        Loves when he surprises me with his wickedness.

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:49

        *laughing* When dogs get nosy, the time has come. ~ A professorish proverb.

      • 130 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 2, 2014 at 18:23

        Wow! You hold nothing back. I would have given them the bacon.
        (I like your proverb.)

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 21:08

        Well welly! Yes, isn’t it spectacular? *proudly struts about*

      • 132 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2014 at 05:05

        You’re so funny!! Yes! How long did you think about that one…lol. Now I know you write poetry!

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:06

        It’s not poetry! (I think I composed that junk on the spot.)

      • 134 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2014 at 20:05

        It is a poetic way of thinking, however. (Well, I compose my junk on the spot everyday. Remind me not to ask any more questions, as well. I could be next in line for a kick to the curb.)

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:52

        Everyone knows there’s a bid difference between the professor’s junk and Audith’s junk. Principle among them: Audith doesn’t write junk.

      • 136 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 5, 2014 at 13:30

        This is exactly why you have lost your man card, my dear. I love that you think so highly of my writing. It only makes me that more of a problem for you, you know. You should offer to rip my poems up for me.

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 17:33

        Nah, one can’t lose a man card that way! What do you think of that?

      • 138 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 5, 2014 at 19:11

        Are you sure? I have my doubts…
        What do I think of what, Duketh? What is that…happy to answer you, of course.

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 23:19

        I stand by my statement, madam! (But please tell me why everyone seems to think I’m not a warrior anymore.)

      • 140 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 5, 2014 at 23:45

        (You don’t know?)

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:38

        (No idea!)

      • 142 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 6, 2014 at 13:54

        (I don’t believe you!)

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 15:48

        (Is it all because of Amelia? Really?)

      • 144 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 6, 2014 at 19:07

        (I think it is…but I like you how you are, Duke. You know that, right? No, I believe you always.) (You did tell me you needed to earn your mad card back, however.)

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 23:12

        I really thought that story wasn’t romantic at all… Shows you how much I know.

      • 146 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 7, 2014 at 00:01

        Which Amelia story?….

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2014 at 14:02

        All of them! Was I wrong?

      • 148 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 7, 2014 at 19:52

        I love those stories…I like seeing you interact with a woman. Brings insight…

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2014 at 23:43

        Yes. Rather awkward, huh?

      • 150 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 01:48

        Not from where I sit.

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 14:34

        What do you see exactly? This is so interesting!

      • 152 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 14:56

        You’d like that wouldn’t you. I’m not going into your lab, Duke.

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 15:10

        I used to have one–of sorts.

      • 154 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 15:12

        You did? What did you do there…exactly? Hmmm

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 15:16

        Oh, I used to like that sort of thing.

      • 156 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 15:21

        What sort of thing…? Chemicals and such, or blood!

      • 157 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 18:53

        Yes, chemicals and such.

      • 158 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 19:13

        Yes, well, that sounds very distructive, Duke. Not anymore, then?

      • 159 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 01:11

        Well, not really. Though I bet I still have it somewhere…

      • 160 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 9, 2014 at 02:35

        Controlled, I’m sure. Where is it…do you still work in there from time to time. I’m listening to a very mellow song right now of Wes Montgomery’s wish it told me the name. It was wonderful…made me wish I was dancing and I don’t dance.

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 20:36

        Oh, that’s awesome! He’s can be the smoothest. The professor doesn’t dance either.

        No, I don’t! Should I?

      • 162 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 9, 2014 at 21:00

        He was rather convincing. I like to chair dance. I haven rhythm, I assure you.

        Maybe! What do you think..

      • 163 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 12:44

        Chair dance… *laughing* Never tried that!

        No!

      • 164 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 12, 2014 at 19:22

        You’ve never sat in your chair and made your shoulders dance?

        You must have hated that lab.

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 23:10

        I’m doing it now…funny you should say it. Oh, we were talking about it.

        Well, it wasn’t a real lab.

      • 166 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 13, 2014 at 02:48

        I do that all the time… *smiles*

        The plot thickens…what was it, then?

      • 167 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2014 at 12:57

        It was a bathroom!

      • 168 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 13, 2014 at 13:43

        So you were doing drugs there?

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2014 at 13:02

        Imagine thinking such a thing of the professor!

      • 170 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 14, 2014 at 19:46

        WELL! Explain yourself then…

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke May 15, 2014 at 12:39

        There were two dyes. Red and blue. I just played with them. *laughs* Okay…I had a huge set, I think.

      • 172 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 15, 2014 at 13:43

        You make no sense.

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2014 at 15:02

        Professorish sense.

      • 174 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 16, 2014 at 19:13

        Not even professorish sense…

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2014 at 23:12

        I’m failing…

      • 176 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 16, 2014 at 23:43

        Are you okay? *worries about you*

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke May 17, 2014 at 19:49

        Oh yes, I’m fine. Seriously, everything’s going rather good! Thanks for asking, Audith.

      • 178 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 17, 2014 at 21:24

        Okay, I guess I have no choice but to believe you.

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke May 17, 2014 at 21:48

        You don’t, do you?

      • 180 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 17, 2014 at 21:51

        You don’t allow me to challenge you. I lose every time.

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke May 17, 2014 at 21:53

        Is that bad?

      • 182 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 17, 2014 at 21:58

        It is if I’m trying to get to know you better.

  12. 183 Debbie April 23, 2014 at 15:42

    Ooh, a photo thief AND a mystery — I’m liking it! Can’t wait to hear the outcome of this one, Professor.

    • 184 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:53

      Yes! Dadblame her for stealing the photos. That was quite mean.

  13. 185 Painting Pundit April 23, 2014 at 15:11

    Clearly, Cashew City is the problem. Move to Pistacio City and all will be well. Just ask Schwarz. He knows. Then Lottie/Ollie will return to normal, whoever, that may be.

    • 186 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:53

      I do like pistachios…but are they as good as cashews? Now why do you suppose Schwarz knows? I get that impression too.

  14. 187 Angeline M April 23, 2014 at 15:00

    Lottie Ollie sounds like she might be related to Amelia. Or is she Amelia in disguise? Professor! You should have at least looked daggers at her don’t you think?

    • 188 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:49

      Oh no, the professor would know Amelia immediately! (Her eyes give her away.) Hahahaha! Yes, you’re right. Do you suppose it would have intimidated her?

  15. 189 PorterGirl April 23, 2014 at 14:49

    O-Ho! A scary event, certainly. And in Cashew City, as well! Lottie seems to me to be a marvelous young lady. What can she want with that picture? And who is employing her? Suspense!

    • 190 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:49

      Oh, I bet Mortimer is employing her–but I could be wrong, for sure. But why a marvelous young lady, Lucy?

      • 191 PorterGirl April 23, 2014 at 20:03

        She is a spy and changes her hair often. Two things I aspire to!

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:17

        Lucy! *laughing lots* Well…get some wigs, I suppose.

      • 193 PorterGirl April 24, 2014 at 14:25

        I have thought about that, actually. Do you know, I think I might!

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 15:09

        Really? Me too! *laughing* I’ve been giving it thought.

      • 195 PorterGirl April 24, 2014 at 15:33

        We should have a wig party :D

      • 196 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 22:58

        Yes, don’t you think gray would look awesome on me?

      • 197 PorterGirl April 25, 2014 at 07:14

        Oh, absolutely! Very sophisticated and dashing :)

      • 198 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:17

        I think it might be really coolio…

      • 199 PorterGirl April 25, 2014 at 13:19

        You are right. Grey (or gray!) haired gentlemen are fabulous!

      • 200 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:19

        Now what about a gentleman like Vin Diesel?

      • 201 PorterGirl April 25, 2014 at 13:21

        I don’t think he is technically a ‘gentleman’ but I am sure he is a very nice chap all the same. I fear we would have little in common!

      • 202 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:50

        *laughing lots* He’s a rough one, I’d say. Yes, I think that’s true. But you see, he doesn’t wear a wig.

      • 203 PorterGirl April 25, 2014 at 13:54

        No he doesn’t. Maybe he should. Or a hat. Everyone should wear a hat!

      • 204 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:55

        My thoughts exactly! A hat of some kind. Hey, Lucy, what do you think of baseball caps?

      • 205 PorterGirl April 25, 2014 at 13:57

        Actually I have a little collection of them. Although lower down in the ‘hat classes’ they can be quite acceptable if worn with panache!

      • 206 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:02

        Oh definitely. They’re not for formal society! I was just thinking about getting “Punchy” caps.

      • 207 PorterGirl April 25, 2014 at 19:21

        I would certainly want one if you do!

      • 208 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:47

        Okay, awesome. I’d send one. I’m still working on colors.

      • 209 PorterGirl April 26, 2014 at 16:04

        Fabulous! Let me know when you decide on colours (or colors) – I will concoct an outfit especially :)

      • 210 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 16:17

        *laughing* You’re too great, Lucy! What color would you like?

      • 211 PorterGirl April 26, 2014 at 17:43

        Oooh I don’t mind, really. I do like blue. Or black. Or grey. Now I sound like I dress like a bruise! Red!

      • 212 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 18:54

        *laughing lots* Lucy, you’re so funny! I like blue too–with yellow letters! How horrid.

  16. 213 Susan P April 23, 2014 at 14:46

    The Punchy Lands look a bit angry there. Lottie? Next it will be little Chuckie.

    • 214 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:48

      How does the professor look? I think she would probably abhor that name. Maybe Alice next time?

      • 215 Susan P April 24, 2014 at 23:56

        What does Alice know?

      • 216 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 13:00

        The professor?

      • 217 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 14:49

        Not who, what.

      • 218 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:04

        But…but I am a what.

      • 219 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 18:29

        Oh? What are you?

      • 220 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:48

        A professor.

      • 221 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 18:50

        A passing thought in the wind.

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 19:00

        That’s me?!

      • 223 Susan P April 25, 2014 at 19:10

        One some days, I am certain that applies.

      • 224 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:42

        *laughing lots*

      • 225 Susan P April 26, 2014 at 15:58

        I’m kind of drifty most days.

      • 226 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 16:14

        Is Harry, too?

      • 227 Susan P April 26, 2014 at 19:08

        Harry has Asperger’s Syndrome, and his drifty-ness ebbs and flows according to the topic of the day. If it’s about sports, you may be sure he is not drifting.

      • 228 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 18:55

        Yes, but you must convince Harry to pull for the Pirates.

      • 229 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 14:00

        That will happen when the earth melts. Maybe.

      • 230 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 15:14

        Oh no! He hates them. Rats and a Heifer.

      • 231 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 16:18

        He doesn’t hate them. He just loves his Phillies.

      • 232 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:13

        Haha, I know! It’s actually taken me some time to get into baseball.

      • 233 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 19:35

        Harry’s family used to buy tickets up in the nose bleed section to watch the games. They took me once, but …

      • 234 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:40

        But…?

      • 235 Susan P April 28, 2014 at 19:45

        It did not make me a fan of sitting on bleachers.

      • 236 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 19:50

        Yeah, I hate bleachers.

  17. 237 xoxosanaz90210 April 23, 2014 at 13:43

    What is a katana? And how did the professor get the pictures? I would like to know, too.

    • 238 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:48

      Well, a katana is a great big (samurai-like) sword. It’s my baby. Well, I found the pictures, actually. And I bet I wasn’t supposed to.

  18. 239 walt walker April 23, 2014 at 13:41

    If I am reading this correctly, (and these days I’m not sure I’m doing anything correctly), there was a goodly amount of time between the snatching of the photos and the absconding with them. Was this part of your plan, Old Sport? It seems this time might have been used for a struggle of some sort. For a chair to be pushed back, and for some grabbing and pushing and what not. Perhaps some tripping as she made her exit. I think what I may be wanting to know is, why did you let her go?

    • 240 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:47

      *laughs* Goodly amount…now that’s a fantastic expression, Walt.

      Well, I couldn’t exactly fight a lady, could I? And in public. And she’s always armed. Do you think it’s possible a grenade could jump out? I do.

      • 241 walt walker April 23, 2014 at 19:54

        Sir, you are clearly a far finer gentleman than I with regard to obligations towards the fairer sex. One might argue, though, that in polite society ladies carry parasols, not weaponry. This lady in particular seems perhaps capable of assassinations and such. Does that not excuse one from the customary niceties?

      • 242 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:15

        Haha! It does, you’re right. But should I have hacked her down? That’s the question. Perhaps I could do something more subtle, but still effective.

      • 243 walt walker April 28, 2014 at 00:47

        Hacking her down sounds a bit gory. Perhaps something more passive-aggressive? You could promise to call her, and then not.

      • 244 Professor VJ Duke April 28, 2014 at 14:51

        Haha! That’s so mean! I wonder if she’d get real mad…

  19. 245 Simply Skeptical April 23, 2014 at 13:34

    Lottie Ollie sounds like a lollie LOL! She’s a lady who means business and keeps you on your toes eh professor? Does she know something more about that second picture than meets the eye? A lady not to reckon with if you need your katana close by – oh my….

    • 246 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:46

      Haha. Well, I never know when she’s about to show up, you know. She must know more about the picture! But I’m not sure what… Indeed!

  20. 247 FictionFan April 23, 2014 at 13:31

    Oooh, how scary! (But did you see how brave my Schwarzy was? Ho-ho! Not a quiver! Of course, he probably knew the Professor would protect him…). So is the whole Punchy planet covered by seas full of hot chocolate then? You never mentioned that…

    Lottie sounds gorgeous! And gloriously wicked…

    • 248 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:45

      Schwarz wouldn’t need the professor to protect. I’m sure he wasn’t intimidated at all.

      Gee, I don’t know! Maybe someone’s messed with the film?

      Would you like to meet her?

      • 249 FictionFan April 23, 2014 at 22:54

        True, very true!

        But that would be…dull…

        Only if the Professor or Schwarzy were there to protect me.

      • 250 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:54

        So, how have you remained protected throughout your life?

      • 251 FictionFan April 24, 2014 at 18:13

        Until I started meeting Punchy people, I never realised how dangerous life is…

      • 252 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 23:13

        I’m safe, aren’t I?

      • 253 FictionFan April 25, 2014 at 14:53

        Yes…that’s why I need you along for protection! You and Schwarzy are the only ones I trust…

      • 254 Professor VJ Duke April 25, 2014 at 18:09

        Well, Schwarz might not be that safe. Mr. Fish doesn’t think so.

      • 255 FictionFan April 25, 2014 at 22:52

        Ah, but he’d never harm me! And anyway hasn’t poor Mr Fish…gone? Floating on some surface somewhere, belly turned to the sky, sad little flippers all limp – while Symphonist Sepperl runs off into the distance, cackling evilly…

      • 256 Professor VJ Duke April 26, 2014 at 15:59

        Haha, not sure why he picked that name originally, since SS already existed.

    • 257 Symphonist Sepperl April 26, 2014 at 12:47

      No, unfortunately there is still a deanthefish…. *now I’m cackling evilly*

      • 258 FictionFan April 26, 2014 at 18:44

        Goodness! You mean there’s two of you now? Why do I find that such a frightening thought…?? Thank goodness we know the Professor and Mic are two different people anyway, eh?

      • 259 Symphonist Sepperl April 27, 2014 at 01:38

        No there’s not two. There’s three–NO, four! NO, five, SIX!!

        I can vouch for Mic. He’s the real deal.

      • 260 Professor VJ Duke April 27, 2014 at 19:07

        How about me, dude?

  21. 261 E. April 23, 2014 at 13:30

    I think I quite like this Lottie character! After all, the side eye is my favorite expression, and it seems she’s mastered it. :D

    • 262 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 18:44

      She is an interest! Now, under what circumstances do you usually give the side eye?

      • 263 E. April 23, 2014 at 18:49

        Usually when I’m annoyed or skeptical.

      • 264 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 19:04

        *laughing* For some reason, I can see you with the skeptical one.

      • 265 E. April 23, 2014 at 19:04

        Hahaha, well it *is* the one I use most often — after all, I live with a prankster. Skepticism is a must in my household. :D

      • 266 Professor VJ Duke April 23, 2014 at 19:06

        *laughing lots* A prankster? That does sound cool. I bet you’ve used it on the professor too.

      • 267 E. April 23, 2014 at 19:07

        Haha not yet, but I’m sure it will happen. *evil grin*

      • 268 Professor VJ Duke April 24, 2014 at 14:08

        Oh dear me! Well, I’ll try to be prepared!


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