Dinner at Daddy Salami’s

tales and stories

Ruber! Let’s have some food!”

The professor was sitting in Daddy Salami’s Hut, at the table when he made the suggestion. Well, I suppose it really wasn’t a suggestion. Maybe an order? Or command.

(Wondering about the difference between an order and command now…)

Anyway…

“Sure thing,” Ruber answered—which was a surprise and a half. “I just picked me some of these fresh mushrooms from outside.

Flaticon_825

[Icon made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com]

Now the professor does love mushrooms. But, I think I’ve heard they can be poisonous.

So, I spoke up: “But, Ruber, are they safe to eat?”

Ruber was angered. “Of course, eh? What’s with you, eh? You think I would poison somebody, eh? Idiot. I run me a restaurant.”

“That’s quite right,” I said.

“Ruber!” Salami yelled. “Watch your tongue!”

He seemed pleased, though.

“What ya makin’, Ruber me ole’ boy?” Salami laughed thrice.

“Mushrooms and leeks in a creamy mustard sauce,” Ruber answered.

“Ew…” Salami said. But then he checked himself. “Sounds good.”

I don’t think he wanted to put on a bad show in front of a guest. Daddy Salami is horribly proud of his son.

“Well, goodness,” I answered.

I suppose Salami picked up on the displeasure in my voice.

“What?” he said. “Don’t you like what me son is cooking, huh?! Answer me, cur!”

“You’re only this mad because you feel the same way I do.” That’s what I said. But I shouldn’t have.

“WHAT?!” Salami jumped up from the table.

“Box his ears, Dad,” Ruber offered.

And he would have.

But the door opened and Mr. Magi came in.

He looked straight at Salami. “Enough, young man!”

And, surprisingly, Salami sat back down. (He was mumbling to himself, though.)

Mr. Magi sat down at the table. “I believe I’ll stay for dinner, if it’s fine.”

“Sure,” Ruber answered. “There’ll be plenty. Got loads of mushrooms.”

“P.VJ,” Mr. Magi began—only for polite conversation—, “What is your favorite food?”

I said what I said. And I said it fast. Not sure it was the truth. But it was the first thing that popped to mind.

“Cherries, cashews, and noodles.”

Lesson: Don’t say the first thing that pops to mind.

Say the second.

Or third.

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233 Responses to “Dinner at Daddy Salami’s”


  1. 1 Tonia May 2, 2014 at 03:05

    i am making cashew cookies tomorrow. i will save you some.

    the difference between an order and a command is that one is amongst civilians and the other amongst military system of heirarchy.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:03

      Wowawee! Yes, please! That sounds so tasty.

      Ah, that’s the ticket.

  2. 3 L. Marie April 30, 2014 at 13:05

    You like to live dangerously, don’t you, Professor? The fact that you would go to Daddy Salami’s hut and even entertain the notion of eating Ruber’s cooking astounds me! I can only say I hope you didn’t eat the mushrooms. But if you did, well, I hope you sought medical attention.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:05

      I actually did! And I do! It’s the warrior way, I suppose. Wouldn’t mushrooms tempt you? They do me every time!

  3. 5 Catherine April 30, 2014 at 05:07

    Oh, dear. Why is Daddy Salami acting so strange?

    And that’s a very useful lesson at the end!

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:02

      He’s always strange, wouldn’t you say?

      It is. It dawned on me.

      • 7 Catherine May 1, 2014 at 05:21

        Yes, good point. But with all those “surprisingly’s” I thought something was up.

        Pity it didn’t dawn on you earlier! But I guess we learn from our mistakes…

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:05

        For sure!

        Well, it takes everything quite a while to dawn on me, you know.

      • 9 Catherine May 2, 2014 at 13:58

        I’m sure it isn’t so bad! Perhaps the professor was just tired. That’s what happens to me when I’m tired.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:50

        I hope so! I also laugh at everything when I’m tired.

      • 11 Catherine May 3, 2014 at 05:05

        Haha! Me too. I laugh, and then I get angry. And then I laugh again…

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:05

        It sounds like a fun mood!

      • 13 Catherine May 5, 2014 at 04:13

        It can be…when I’m laughing!

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 13:06

        Haha, for sure!

  4. 15 Meeinal April 30, 2014 at 01:43

    I believe in oneness sir…. So what comes to the mind first is the real thing is what I feel.when it’s something bad that’s the time we start thinking of not saying it and at times in excitement get carried away and blur it out, and hurt our loved ones.Human nature I guess sir!

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:00

      I think you’re right, madam! It’s a wonder, huh?

      • 17 Meeinal April 30, 2014 at 16:50

        What’s a wonder sir?

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:22

        Human nature for sure!

      • 19 Meeinal April 30, 2014 at 18:24

        O yes:)

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:25

        And the professor. *smiles bigly*

      • 21 Meeinal April 30, 2014 at 18:26

        I’m really happy then for you:)

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:41

        Haha!

      • 23 Meeinal May 1, 2014 at 13:19

        Happy labour day professor…… Cheers☕️

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 19:40

        Ah, look at that cup! That’s coolio.

      • 25 Meeinal May 2, 2014 at 03:59

        Cheers to coffee:)

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:04

        Cheers!

  5. 27 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 29, 2014 at 22:27

    Oh how I love when Mr. Magi commands a room!!!! He takes my breath away, you know. Was there something else I was going to say? Hmmm…

    Nope, just how wonderful Magi is, that is all. *winks*

    (Oh, and I love mushrooms, lots and lots, especially stuffed!)
    (DS just loves his Ruber. I like that!)
    (If I say the first thing that comes to my mind, it is the truth. I should do that more often, probably.)

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:45

      I thought you’d like that he showed up like that! Look how he handled DS! It doesn’t always go that smoothly, though…

      But why the wink? He’s nothing like the wicked professor–though it has been suggested.

      (Yes! Stuffed with what? Crab meat?)

      DS does like Ruby.

      Well, I think you’re just fine where that’s concerned. *smiles*

      • 29 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 30, 2014 at 20:02

        Magi is a beast! I love it, and yes he sorted DS just right. Well, then show me the other side…

        Winking because he was all I was going to talk about, but then decided I also wanted to mention the others. You are Magi??!! Hmm, I can see that.

        (Yes or an amazing pork sausage mix of goodness, with a bit of red wine.. that I prepare, then stuff inside and bake.)

        I think you…forget it.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:52

        Well, that can get brutal. I think it may offend certain PF’s.

        That’s one some say. But my analysts don’t hold to that, you know.

        (Wowawee! That sounds so goodio! I need some…)

        Forget what?

      • 31 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 15:37

        Yes, I’m sure. *twists up her lips with a hmm*

        Oh, well…Analysts know nothing!

        It is so good…a crowd pleaser for sure!

        Whatever you were certain of, I guess.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:09

        It offends me too!

        Yes, mine don’t. Don’t you think I should fire them?

        I need one, or two, or three!

        Oh no. I’ve got all that memorized.

      • 33 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 20:16

        I know it does, Duke.

        Yes, at once…or should probably think about that, a bit.

        Okay! We’ll have them with mineral water? *torn*

        You do? Not sure I believe you, Duketh.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:26

        Oh you do not!

        Yeah, they’d get mad–in a hurry!

        Mineral water? Goodness. Really? Oh, you mean the fizzy stuff! I always think about the stuff I had at that farm one time. It was years ago. Hot. And we were playing football. Came in for a drink and…the well water tasted like minerals! Actually, it tasted like blood. The professor came close to dying that day.

        You should!

      • 35 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 20:38

        Come on…I do too!

        Yeah, whoever they are… *looks around*

        Haha! Fizzy stuff. Thank you for that story. Helps me to imagine you, Duketh. I’m glad you didn’t die that day.

        Okay!

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:43

        I can’t see how, dadblameit!

        Oh, they live.

        Came very close. Lived on iced tea, I think.

      • 37 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 2, 2014 at 18:13

        Forget it!

        Good for them, I’m sure.

        Ha! I have been in a similar place. Wishing for a good glass of water and not a drop to drink.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 21:03

        It’s dadblamery when one can’t find water!

      • 39 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2014 at 05:24

        It is!!! *laughs* Deadly!

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:09

        Especially when you’ve been playing sports.

      • 41 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2014 at 20:38

        Yes. I hope you learned your lesson and bring water along with you now.

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:58

        Actually…I haven’t!

      • 43 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 5, 2014 at 13:39

        This just, well, saddens me. I think someone should make sure you have water.

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 17:38

        Yes, you’re right. Something must be done!

      • 45 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 5, 2014 at 19:18

        Yes! Truly!

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 23:22

        Oh dear.

      • 47 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 5, 2014 at 23:48

        *smiles* She doesn’t know what to say.

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:41

        Me neither!

      • 49 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 6, 2014 at 13:58

        Okay so tis a mess then, I’d say.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 15:51

        And messes make the day!

      • 51 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 6, 2014 at 19:14

        And water saves the day! Are you thinking about a sport today, Duke?

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 23:14

        No. I’m lounging about lazily.

      • 53 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 7, 2014 at 00:04

        Couch potato

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2014 at 14:04

        Couch baked potato, you mean.

      • 55 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 7, 2014 at 19:58

        Yes! *searches for fixings*

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2014 at 23:45

        Some bacon and cheese!

      • 57 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 01:52

        How do you feel about sour cream?

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 14:38

        Well–to be honest–the professor isn’t a big fan of baked potatoes!

      • 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 15:00

        *stuffs this one in your face*

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 15:12

        *cuts it with his bowie*

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 15:16

        I already cut it…

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 15:18

        Oh you did not!

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 15:25

        Did too…why is there potato all over your face then? Hmmm..?

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 18:55

        I refuse to acknowledge it!

      • 65 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 8, 2014 at 19:18

        It’s dripping down your face… *splat* *wipes the potato from your eyes*

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 01:13

        Oh dear… Now I need a bath or something.

      • 67 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 9, 2014 at 02:45

        You should do that…*Exits stage left*
        Or a water balloon to the face, too! *smiles*

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 20:39

        Oh yes…I forgot all about my water balloon!

      • 69 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 9, 2014 at 21:02

        Now I’m surprised by that, Duke.

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 12:45

        Me too!

      • 71 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 12, 2014 at 19:27

        *splat*

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 23:11

        And a spit.

      • 73 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 13, 2014 at 03:02

        Are we eating watermelon?

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2014 at 13:00

        Or sponge cake.

      • 75 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 13, 2014 at 13:44

        Both, maybe.

  6. 76 The Dancing Rider April 29, 2014 at 20:51

    Not entirely sure I’d say the word “noodle” in front of Daddy Salami … ;-)

    Thank Heaven for Mr. Magi. Now. Did ANYONE eat that horrid concoction. Which probably *was* poisonous, even if Ruber didn’t intend it.

    Love how DS checked himself.

    • 77 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:07

      *laughing* That’s right! He uses that, doesn’t he?

      I had a piece, and Mr. Magi did. It gave a few bellyaches.

      I know, right? We were lucky.

  7. 78 ladycheetah7 April 29, 2014 at 19:33

    “Thrice” and “horribly proud.” I am really digging the verbiage! How were the mushrooms? I have been experimenting with a few meals and found them to be quite delish.

    • 79 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:02

      I simply love mushrooms. Have you tried portobello?

      Thanks! And I love how you said that. Verbiage…that’s a wonder right there.

      • 80 ladycheetah7 April 29, 2014 at 22:08

        Not yet but will put Portobello mushrooms on my list next time I go grocery shopping.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:42

        Definitely! And let me know if you like them. I think mushrooms are professorish overall.

  8. 82 erinkenobi2893 April 29, 2014 at 19:05

    Mmmm… mushrooms and leeks… sounds good to me. As long as the mushrooms were positively identified!
    What is your favorite food? I like beef stew, spaghetti, chicken in vodka sauce (it’s actually chicken, prosciutto, and noodles in a creamy sauce :-P), some pasta salads more than others, lettuce… and of course, ice cream, and chocolate.
    I would definitely come to dinner at Daddy Salami’s armed, and ready to moderate this so the fights would be contained to food. Do you think Mr. Magi would approve? :-P

    • 83 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 21:56

      I know! But I do wonder what yucketh mushrooms look like.

      I do think Mr. Magi would approve! In fact, I warrant he’d want to hire you to serve on the World Court that he runs. Sorta be the peacekeeper, I guess.

      And all that food sounds awesome! Also, pizza!

      • 84 erinkenobi2893 April 30, 2014 at 14:16

        Oooohhh… pizza… I can’t eat double-decker pizza (though calzones are okay.) For some reason, I always have a stomach upset afterwards. Maybe it’s because I have an allergy to undercooked grain products, or undercooked things in general? My dad likes his pizza mostly raw!!! Grr. Some brands are the same way too, but it rarely happens with homemade pizza.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:12

        I usually make it on my oven. But I see what you mean. Some pizza out can upset the stomach!

      • 86 erinkenobi2893 May 1, 2014 at 14:42

        :-) Yeah. I don’t know why–my siblings don’t seem to have any troubles with it.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:07

        Everyone’s different that way, you know.

      • 88 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 13:01

        True. At least I know I will probably not like beer ever in any way.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:10

        Well, maybe root beer then.

      • 90 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 13:23

        I tried it… it’s weird. To me it tastes like the oh-yuck-awful flavor of Listerine… *shudders*

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:49

        You don’t like root bear? Dadblamery!

      • 92 erinkenobi2893 May 3, 2014 at 19:48

        Nope, sorry. I think it might be a genetic condition–being unable to enjoy root beer, I mean. :-(

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:42

        It’s quite possible. It is a root after all.

      • 94 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 14:56

        :’-(
        And… now my four-year-old sister is singing “Happy Birthday” and presenting me with cakes made out of Play-Doh (even though it’s not my birthday yet…) :-P

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 18:08

        *laughing* When is your BD?

      • 96 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 23:51

        I’m not supposed to say over the internet, but it is coming very very soon. :-P In fact, I got my aunt’s BD card today.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:44

        Well, then, Happy BD!

      • 98 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 12:53

        Thanks! :-)
        I wish this was my BD card, though the ones I’m getting are pretty awesome. :-P
        http://starwars.com/play/ecards/event_may4_anakin-obiwan.html
        But it’s a May 4th one… so… :-P

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 13:01

        Haha, that’s a great card!

        Well, go for it, then!

      • 100 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 15:06

        X-P This is fun.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 15:56

        Absolutely!

      • 102 erinkenobi2893 April 30, 2014 at 14:17

        So I’d be the sergeant at arms? :-P Dearie me, I’d have to bring a sandbag to whack unruly people with. :-P

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:12

        I’ll wear a helmet…

      • 104 erinkenobi2893 May 1, 2014 at 14:44

        Good idea. Fur might start flying at any time :-P

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:07

        Oh dear!

      • 106 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 13:07

        Which is why one does not pop balloons around the Salamis, since one could very well start a war doing that :-P

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:11

        For sure! that could make DS rather cranky in a hurry.

      • 108 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 14:05

        X-P I actually made a Boromir meme for that… X-P

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:52

        For making DS cranky?

      • 110 erinkenobi2893 May 3, 2014 at 19:49

        Sort of… :-P I’ll have to post it sometime. X-D In my opinion, it was hilarious.

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:44

        I’d probably laugh, then!

      • 112 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 14:57

        Oh no. I forgot again. GRRRR.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 18:08

        You’ll get it!

      • 114 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 23:52

        I will. But it may take me a while… I’ll try to post it in the next SW week post ;-)

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:45

        Okay, then. Take your time!

      • 116 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 12:53

        No! Not again! *sigh*
        I really should check my notifications BEFORE posting new stuff. :-S If I knew how to embed pictures in my comments, I’d do that instead. *sigh*

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 13:02

        I know there’s a way to do it. I think it has to do with the “img” in the comment place.

      • 118 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 15:06

        Ahhhhh… But I would have to learn how first… *sigh*

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 15:56

        I’ve never done it! I know had to add them to posts, but not comments.

      • 120 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 18:17

        Hmm… I may have to do some research.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 23:07

        Yes you do!

      • 122 erinkenobi2893 May 8, 2014 at 11:08

        *goes to the help section* It has lots of good tips, but I don’t see anything about putting pictures in comments.

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 14:54

        I think the picture has to have a url first. does that help?

      • 124 erinkenobi2893 May 9, 2014 at 14:50

        Mmmm… I see… *sigh* I’ll just embed it in this post I’m working on now.

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 20:46

        *sighs too*

      • 126 erinkenobi2893 May 10, 2014 at 14:29

        Grrr. This thing hates me.

  9. 127 Julie Harris April 29, 2014 at 17:56

    Hmmmm… cherries, noodles, and cashews would make for an interesting meal…

    • 128 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 18:06

      Yes! Wouldn’t you say a professorish one?

      • 129 Julie Harris April 29, 2014 at 20:25

        Most definitely a professorish dinner…. I would expect nothing less from the professor!

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:06

        Haha. Maybe I should add coconut to it…

  10. 131 Simply Skeptical April 29, 2014 at 17:34

    Mushrooms! Ruber!! Are you crazy Professor? Why would you ever entertain the thought of risking it? That is of course unless you relish playing Russian Roulette with your life. You must take care of yourself. Where would the PL & PLF be without you? Cherries, cashews, and noodles in a cherry glaze sauce actually sounds like it could be quite tasty. Was it a dish you grew up enjoying?

    • 132 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 18:00

      It wasn’t, SS! It would be tasty, huh? The professor, you should know, lives a life of danger and adventure! Isn’t that only right?

  11. 133 Jackie April 29, 2014 at 16:17

    Cherries, noodles and cashews might be good together. Or maybe I’m so hungry that anything sounds good! :-\

    • 134 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:58

      No, no, Jackie! I’m sure it would work. Somehow. Right?

  12. 135 technophile9 April 29, 2014 at 16:15

    Very interesting… Can you have the cherries, cashews and noodles separately?

    • 136 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:58

      Yes. Don’t you almost think it would have to be that way?

      • 137 technophile9 April 29, 2014 at 19:37

        Well I’ve never had the combination, so I can’t tell for sure if it would be tasty or not. ;) Doesn’t sound too good though.

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:05

        Hmmm…I’m going back and forth on the matter. Do you like mushrooms, Joe?

  13. 139 Debbie April 29, 2014 at 15:00

    Did you get cherries, cashews, and noodles then? Perhaps that was safer than the mushrooms, you know!

    • 140 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:58

      It’s a possibility! But I didn’t get them. At least, not together. Do you think they’d fit nicely together?

      • 141 Debbie April 29, 2014 at 18:33

        Perhaps. The cherries and the cashews would play nicely with chocolate, but I’m going to have to think about integrating those noodles!

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 21:54

        *laughs* Noodles and chocolate–might catch the world by storm!

  14. 143 Angeline M April 29, 2014 at 14:14

    I do have a feeling that Ruber may have gotten distracted when he was picking mushrooms, or maybe DS picked them……don’t do it P.VJ.

    • 144 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:57

      *laughing* Ooo, what a thought! What if DS did pick them? What might not be poisonous for him will be for others I bet! You don’t trust, DS, do you?

      • 145 Angeline M April 30, 2014 at 00:50

        Not for a minute.
        But I love him…if that makes any sense.

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:59

        It does! I think I agree.

  15. 147 FictionFan April 29, 2014 at 13:48

    When will you ever learn not to go near the Salami household at mealtimes? Ruber is getting ruder by the day – I think the Professor should box his ears…

    (Must admit Ruber’s menu appeals slightly more than the Professor’s though…)

    • 148 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:57

      But Ruber is like 6’8” or something like that. Plus, DS might attack me. Now, FEF, I’m sure you would have tried that.

      (I take issue with that!)

      • 149 FictionFan April 29, 2014 at 22:52

        The bigger they come, the harder they fall. OK, you deal with DS and I’ll box Ruber’s ears then…

        (The noodles bit was OK…)

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:50

        You’ll have to jump to catch them. And what if DS attacks you? I can only keep him busy for so long.

        Only okay? Rats.

      • 151 FictionFan April 30, 2014 at 19:08

        *sighs and sobs a little* OK I’ll deal with both of them. You just pop off for a nice romantic dinner with the girls…

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:50

        Aha! I think you may be emitting that there’s no warrior like a man warrior!

      • 153 FictionFan May 1, 2014 at 16:08

        So very, very true – and yet they become rarer with each passing day! We women will just have to do the best we can to cope without them…and at least Manly-Man won’t end up with a lady on either arm…surely…

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:20

        Now you see the trouble of it. Now you see why I can’t dance ever. It’d ruin my blameless record (which is still intact since I’m still part of the warrior council).

      • 155 FictionFan May 2, 2014 at 00:55

        I suspect the warrior council just hasn’t heard of your recent exploits yet. *shakes head sadly* You can be a glorious warrior and dance though, particularly after a wondrous victory on the battlefield…

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:01

        No, you said yourself I can’t dance. (Didn’t you say one that you and MissT should be my ladies? See what dadblamery you inspire?)

      • 157 FictionFan May 2, 2014 at 16:23

        I did not!! I said you can’t dance with anyone except ME!!! (I did not!!! Well…maybe I did…but…well…that was…oh, never mind!!!)

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 21:02

        FEF, you’re not jealous, are you? Warriors like the professor don’t get romantically involved. But, aren’t you a lady? (Uh-huh!)

      • 159 FictionFan May 3, 2014 at 00:29

        Not yet, but if next week’s story has you going dancing with your ladies, my jealous wrath will sweep down on you like a golden eagle upon a mouse…as will the pubishers of YA romance novels. Oh, how I wish that were true! Of course I am – why, don’t you think so? (Hey! That’s my expression of total and profound disbelief!)

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:01

        What a cool way to describe that! Man. I wish I could be a golden eagle. YA romance? Why? You mean, you’d want me to dance with someone else?

        I might be having my doubts, Aravis. (This is mine: ==]:-{)+ )

      • 161 FictionFan May 3, 2014 at 23:50

        I’ll make sure there’s an eyrie in place at the castle. No!!! Not unless it’s me!!! Good noodles!!!

        Well, that’s just mean, Bree. (But that’s just the same as your normal face so how can we tell?)

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 13:05

        What’s an eyrie? Sounds rather interesting. Oh yes, quite right. I just forgot for a little second.

        I hate Bree something awful. Did you know that? *taps foot angrily* (No, this is the normal one: ==]:-{)= )

      • 163 FictionFan May 5, 2014 at 16:09

        An eagle’s nest.

        Shouldn’t that be *taps hoof angrily*? (Ah, I see! Very subtle…)

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 18:14

        Why is the professor a horse? (Aren’t I subtle?)

    • 165 Symphonist Sepperl April 30, 2014 at 01:19

      Ooh, is FF over 6′?

      • 166 FictionFan April 30, 2014 at 13:16

        *chuckles* That depends on which rung of the ladder I’m standing on…

      • 167 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:05

        I like climbing and sitting on roofs.

      • 168 FictionFan April 30, 2014 at 19:10

        Yes, that can be very romantic.

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:50

        Oh, it is not, dadblameit! Nothing romantic about it.

    • 170 Symphonist Sepperl April 30, 2014 at 13:46

      Carefully processing this information with the aid of my superior intellect yields the following conclusion: if the prospect of your height exceeding 6′ is dependent on a ladder on which you are standing, then, when you are not standing on a ladder your height must be 6′ or less.

      Fun game. Can we have another go at 5′?

      • 171 FictionFan May 1, 2014 at 16:29

        Ah, well that would depend on how deep a ditch I was standing in…and you’d have to factor in the height of my heels too…and of course if I was approaching a black hole head first at the time, I’d probably be taller…

    • 172 Symphonist Sepperl April 30, 2014 at 15:21

      If the prospect of your height exceeding six feet is dependent on a ladder, then it must be concluded that your height cannot exceed six feet independent of any such ladder, i.e., you are six feet or under. Emphasis on the “or” please.

      Isn’t it clever what I unearthed from your short cryptic comment?

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:13

        That was clever, Mr. Fish, I admit.

      • 174 FictionFan April 30, 2014 at 18:45

        Extremely clever! And I’m delighted by that ‘or’ – without it the sentence would be…depressing…

  16. 175 InfiniteZip April 29, 2014 at 13:34

    Mushrooms…ugh…no way, not if it was the last thing in the world to eat, but ahhhh noodles…lots of noodles, with cashews, just had some cashews….mmmmm

    • 176 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:56

      Noodles and cashews, yes! But…really? No mushrooms? Not even the tiniest professorish ones?

      • 177 InfiniteZip April 29, 2014 at 19:38

        Not a one makes it past my lips…the ones in college didn’t count….they were psychedelic:)

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:06

        And why not?

  17. 179 walt walker April 29, 2014 at 13:21

    Good to see the word “thrice” getting some air time.

    But what would he have done with a box full of ears?

    • 180 Symphonist Sepperl April 29, 2014 at 15:23

      He would have made ear soup of course!

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:58

        *two gags and a half of one*

    • 182 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:56

      He was begging for some, you know.

      Hahaha! I don’t know. What does one do with that sort of thing, Walt?

      • 183 walt walker April 29, 2014 at 21:14

        I suppose you could give them away as gag gifts to people who never listen. Kind of like Bilbo giving that umbrella to Lobelia.

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:07

        Lobelia…that’s an interest of a name, don’t you think?

      • 185 walt walker May 2, 2014 at 00:39

        Quite. That is, if you say so. Remember, I never know what I think until someone tells me.

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:55

        Which might get frustrating, I’d imagine.

  18. 187 PorterGirl April 29, 2014 at 13:18

    Super duper! I know Ruber’s cooking had a bad reputation in the past, but I am given to understanding that he has improved somewhat? I quite like the sound of this meal, actually. Good job Mr M popped by when he did.

    Cherries, noodles and cashews are all delicious! I’m not sure about them all at the same time but it’s worth a try. I am having a party on Saturday, I might make a small dish based on this and see what my guests think.

    • 188 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:55

      You know, Lucy, I thought it sounded tasty at first as well. I did try it. Wasn’t bad at all. And, yes, RC’s did get better. (Mortimer installed real chefs in the place.)

      *laughing lots* I hope you decide to! If you do take a pic for sure! I’d love to know what the guests think…

      • 189 PorterGirl April 29, 2014 at 18:36

        I think I will! Shall certainly take a pic. I imagine it will look pretty if nothing else!

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 21:55

        You’re seriously going to do this? *laughs*

      • 191 PorterGirl April 30, 2014 at 07:24

        I’m going to give it a go! I think I might get away with a cherry-based sauce of some kind. Cashews go well with noodles anyway. I’ll let you know how I get on!

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:03

        I’m so excited, Lucy! Too bad I can’t be there to try it. I take issue, madam, that I wasn’t invited! *laughs*

      • 193 PorterGirl April 30, 2014 at 16:05

        As if you need an invite! I am very sad you can’t be there. Maybe one day, Professor, if fate is kind ;)

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:17

        Aw, that’s nice of you! I’d just crash right in–in a nice way, of course.

        Yes! We’ll beat fate into agreeing.

      • 195 PorterGirl April 30, 2014 at 16:24

        :D Certainly!

      • 196 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:19

        That’s the spirit!

  19. 197 E. April 29, 2014 at 12:54

    That is a wise lesson indeed! Cherries, cashews, and noodles are all delicious, though.

    • 198 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:54

      They are, E! But do you suppose we could put them all together and make a good dish?

      • 199 E. April 29, 2014 at 17:55

        Hmmm. I think cherries and cashews would be a tasty mix, although I imagine adding noodles would make it taste wonky.

      • 200 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 18:05

        Love the last word. *laughs* But what about a Chinese dish of sorts? That might work.

      • 201 E. April 29, 2014 at 18:14

        Oooh, good point… Although I think the cherries would have to be on the side. Unless they were dried cherries, and there was a sweet-salty sauce to accompany it. Hmmmm.

        Wonky is an amazing word. :D It’s understated and silly, but has a lot of meaning — like “groovy”.

      • 202 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 21:54

        Yes, yes, that’s the thought right there. I like how your mind thinks, E. Already it’s beginning to look like a tasty dish.

        Now that is cool. It sound even professorish!

      • 203 E. April 29, 2014 at 22:14

        Mmm, now I want to try it out! I like new foods. :) I wonder what kind of sauce would go with it?
        (By the way, if I make this dish and it becomes famous, I will name it “The Professor’s Pasta”; agreed?)

      • 204 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:43

        *laughing* I’d be honored! Are you going to try it? I’d wanna see pics! Maybe a sweet sauce?

      • 205 E. April 30, 2014 at 16:24

        If I try it, I’ll be sure and let you know, haha.

      • 206 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:19

        *laughing lots* And a few pics!

      • 207 E. April 30, 2014 at 18:22

        *takes notes* And… pics. Got it.

      • 208 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:25

        Awesome and thanks, E! I’m extremely excited about this!

  20. 209 Susan P April 29, 2014 at 12:38

    Ah, yes. Good lesson. But you must be okay – you survived the dadblamed thing. Right? You did, didn’t you? But you will never learn to not eat at Ruber’s restaurant.

    • 210 Susan P April 29, 2014 at 12:39

      Well written, btw.

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:54

        *blushes* I hate blushing.

    • 212 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:53

      I did survive! But my mind might be affected. I plan to take you and Harry to RC one day. Will you go?

      • 213 Susan P April 30, 2014 at 11:53

        Only if I have someone to taste it before I eat it.

      • 214 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:04

        How about George?

      • 215 Susan P April 30, 2014 at 18:40

        Ack! NO

      • 216 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:44

        But I bet you’d let the professor taste it!

      • 217 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 12:53

        Only if he persisted –

      • 218 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:08

        Oh…he wouldn’t.

      • 219 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 13:26

        *smile*

  21. 220 Me, Myself and DIY April 29, 2014 at 12:31

    Cashews and noodles could be OK. I’m still afraid of Salami’s family messing with mushrooms. Eek!

    • 221 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:53

      Oh, I bet one could work up a great dish with those two ingredients.

      I know, right? You mean you wouldn’t try a piece?

      • 222 Me, Myself and DIY April 29, 2014 at 19:53

        No thank you.

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:06

        Well welly, madam!

  22. 224 Ann Koplow April 29, 2014 at 12:31

    Here’s the first thing that pops to mind, right now: I thoroughly enjoyed this.

    • 225 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:52

      The professor is honored, thank you much! Would you have tried the mushrooms?

      • 226 Ann Koplow April 29, 2014 at 18:30

        Probably not. I’m too suspicious and very self-protective.

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 21:54

        Good for you! I wish the professor was. But I’m not a daredevil either, you know.

      • 228 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member April 29, 2014 at 20:48

        I would say that’s a very good way to be. Ruber’s food is only safe when cooked by someone else…

      • 229 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 22:06

        Which wouldn’t make it his food, would it?

      • 230 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member April 29, 2014 at 22:12

        Exactly…

      • 231 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 15:43

        Oh, I see…

  23. 232 Meeinal April 29, 2014 at 12:29

    Very true sir and as usual well written with a moral!

    • 233 Professor VJ Duke April 29, 2014 at 17:52

      Aw, many thanks! Do you suppose it’s better to say the third thought or the fourth one that comes into the mind?


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