The Professor and Amelia—Act 4 of the War

And the professor went out to dinner with Amelia.

I brought my good friend Audrey Dawn along, as well.

Amelia might have been unhappy—I’m was unsure about that, however. (When you can’t see a person’s eyes it’s hard to see what’s up and what’s down. And Amelia’s eyes are always…shadowy.)

Then, the professor suddenly got up and left the table.

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[Icon made by Freepik from www.flaticon.com]

“So, how long have you known the professor?” Amelia asked Audrey.

“This professor, Amelia? Not long, only seven months. You’ve known him much longer than I have, yet, you still don’t really understand him. Do you?” Audrey prompted knowing the professor could be back at any moment.

“Of course I understand him!” Amelia snapped. “I knew him when he was quite small. He was stranger then—if you can believe that. He likes to believe he’s free and protected.” Amelia laughed a bit.

“I’ll warn you now,  Amelia, snapping at someone gets you nowhere, and quickly,” Audrey said, trying to help little bits. “Strange is relatively relative, wouldn’t you say? What does a million years ago have to do with Duke now, Amelia? What do you mean by free?” Audrey asked.

“Don’t be small-minded, dear. The Duke then is the same as the Duke now. The differences are so slight we might as well forget them. Free, as in he’s not tied down. And what do you mean, snapping?”

“Just a minute, Amelia,” Audrey interrupts while holding her hand up. “Good Afternoon, Thom, good to see you working today,” said Audrey while touching the waiter’s arm affectionately, the gesture wasn’t lost on Amelia. “Duke stepped out for a moment, you know how busy he stays. He’ll take a tart lemonade, lots of ice, and I’ll take my usual, as well. Amelia, anything I can have Thom get for you?” Audrey asks sweetly.

“No,” Amelia answered angrily. “I want to know where VJ went.”

“Amelia?  Why are you so angry? Thank you, Thom. ” Audrey called out to the disheveled waiter. ” VJ, as you call him, stepped out for a minute. Has Duke upset you in some way?”

Thom mumbled some dadblamery and disappeared.

Amelia looked away. “Yes. He can be very rude, you know. But I don’t think he means it.”

“Amelia, of course he doesn’t want to be mean to you, exactly. You need to see through his words a bit, into their meaning, which will allow you to see him as he truly is, ” Audrey explained. “Are you interested in dating VJ? Maybe he isn’t available for that sort of relationship, my dear. I know you said he was free, but have you asked him, it’s possible that he’s already taken. We both know how secretive he can be about his life.”

Amelia just stared at Audrey. “You’ve suddenly depressed me. It’s stuffy in here. I need air. VJ is too…dull…to be left in control of his own life.”

And at that moment, the professor came in.

“There you are, Duke. Amelia and I were just talking about you,” Audrey welcomed, as she looked into his eyes for comfort.

The professor winked twice or thrice.

Audrey turned her attention back to Amelia.

“I’m sorry. Did I say something to upset you, Amelia? Let’s move outside, Duke. Amelia needs fresh air, and I quite agree.”

“It’s somewhat warm and somewhat cold out here,” the professor warned.

Amelia ignored the comment. “Audrey was telling me, P.VJ, that you should go out with me more often. Isn’t that right, Audrey?” Amelia glanced at Audrey warningly.

“Well, I…” Audrey eyed Amelia coolly.

“I expressed doubt that the two of you were a good fit, if you weren’t going to take the time to appreciate him, Amelia. Don’t twist my words.”

The professor looked from Amelia to Audrey and from Audrey to Amelia. “Ladies, perhaps we should try our best to be geckos. They can sing—and climb.”

“See?” Amelia said turning to Audrey. “He’s always saying something stupid.”

Audrey looks to the professor with her eyes sparkling bright, “Speaking of geckos, Duke, I need to get to class. The children and I are hunting for them again today, so sweet of you to remind me.”

The professor smiled bigly big. “Yes, yes, don’t let me keep you.”

Turning her attention back to Amelia, Audrey said, “Amelia, the only reason Duke’s words sound stupid to you is because they aren’t meant for you. Furthermore, if you never understand what he is saying, rest assured he’s never actually wanted to speak to you.”

Amelia was quite angry (cranky). It was obvious.

“My dear,” Audrey continued, “you are not a suitable match for Professor VJ Duke. I do not believe I’ll be recommending another date between the two of you, Amelia.”

And the war is over. At least, the professor hopes so.

This story was written by Audrey Dawn and the Professor

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279 Responses to “The Professor and Amelia—Act 4 of the War”


  1. 1 The Dancing Rider May 3, 2014 at 20:03

    I’m not sure the professor, with the either cryptic, or totally off base as to current situation, phrases helped much. Though they did get a laugh from me! ;-) The two-against-one didn’t seem to help much, did it? I fear there will be more from Amelia in the future. But may be not in the way the professor would want. Better keep your eyes open! She may feel spurned now, as opposed to just giving up!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:51

      Oh, rats and a heifer. Maybe I should stage my death? Now that would cool, and it would throw her off track!

      • 3 The Dancing Rider May 5, 2014 at 13:07

        Nope. Someone like Amelia will *always* find you. In fact, she would probably be waiting for you at your hiding place!

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 13:13

        *laughing* No! Then…I must pop her off!

      • 5 The Dancing Rider May 5, 2014 at 13:15

        Uh-oh. Nope, someone else must do it for you. Better yet, she may meet her soul mate (though right how she’s thinks that is YOU…) in another area of the PL, and bring him (or it) around to throw in your face! THAT would be something she would do, too. ;-)

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 17:28

        She sounds hatable! She is! Maybe she was put up to the whole thing…

      • 7 The Dancing Rider May 5, 2014 at 19:20

        I doubt that. But … the best solution is her meeting someone in the PL’s who really IS her soul mate. That could be quite difficult! ;-)

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 23:23

        Well, DS did that at one point, I’m told, you know.

  2. 9 Painting Pundit May 3, 2014 at 17:31

    Okay, I’m missing something here. Why is it necessary to be so mean to Amelia? I feel very bad for her. Maybe some lessons from Ratherquite would be in order. He seems to be more understanding of ladies.

    • 10 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:13

      *hangs head* But isn’t she wicked? Now, I suppose you want me to see Mr. R?

  3. 11 Tonia May 2, 2014 at 02:59

    oh dear, i go away and this blog has turned into a soap opera. Are you sure Audrey isnt the Duke’s mother? :)

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:03

      *laughing* Oh, I’m sure. You see, Tonia, I was trying to break Amelia’s heart. But it didn’t work, did it?

      • 13 Tonia May 2, 2014 at 14:49

        nah, i think you played dumb and let that other female do the dirty work and made yourself look like a fink,

        i would have been miffed if I were Amelia, too.

        I am sure the professor is a big success at his real personal relationships…! :)

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:53

        Rats and a Heifer! Did I do something wrong, then?

        Oh really? What makes you say that?

      • 15 Tonia May 2, 2014 at 21:33

        well, you stood by and let that other woman insult her and you pretended to be oblivious to everything. And you hid behind that other woman’s skirt and walked off with her…after she’d acted like a witch to your date.

        I dont think Amelia should bother forgiving you. I wouldnt. lol…ha ha…never date a woman with a bad temper like mine and Amelia’s. :)

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 18:53

        But it wasn’t my date, dadblameit! And besides, don’t you think the more wicked the better?

        *laughing* For sure!

  4. 17 L. Marie May 1, 2014 at 13:54

    Somehow, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Amelia, even with Audrey’s intervention.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:01

      Rats and a Heifer! You can’t be serious?

  5. 19 Jackie May 1, 2014 at 12:15

    Well done you two! :-)

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:05

      Many thanks, Jackie!

  6. 21 InfiniteZip May 1, 2014 at 09:03

    Bravo, I love red heads:) such fun I must say, and geckos too:)

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:05

      Doesn’t the professor remind you of a Gecko?

      • 23 InfiniteZip May 1, 2014 at 13:07

        Umm, no’ he speaks with an Australian accent I think and the professor seems more English I would think, do you like tea and crumpets? I like crumpets…with butter and jam….

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:10

        I think I do. But what’s a crumpet?

      • 25 InfiniteZip May 1, 2014 at 15:31

        Looks like an English muffin but more sour:) used to eat them in Washington DC, can’t find hem in NY:(

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:08

        Sour?! Goodness! Well, I’d try one or two.

  7. 27 ladycheetah7 May 1, 2014 at 00:21

    I am very glad Audrey stated the obvious: you and Amelia are not a good match. I tell ya, Amelia is nothing but trouble.

    • 28 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:03

      That’s quite right, Lady. Well, this should be the end, don’t you think?

      • 29 ladycheetah7 May 1, 2014 at 13:06

        Naw. I think you are gonna have to break her heart and tell her that you don’t like her.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:09

        Okay. That makes sense. I’ll do this. I just hope it works!

      • 31 ladycheetah7 May 1, 2014 at 13:17

        Bring your katana just in case…lol

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 19:40

        She’ll attack? *eyes wide in shock*

      • 33 ladycheetah7 May 1, 2014 at 20:30

        Or be all the more madly in love….

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:32

        I should just have you pop her off…

      • 35 ladycheetah7 May 1, 2014 at 20:33

        And who is more wicked??? LOL!

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:40

        It was your idea, dadblameit!

      • 37 ladycheetah7 May 2, 2014 at 12:45

        **rolling eyes**

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:06

        Well, I’m sure you were thinking it, at least.

  8. 39 The Reading Girl April 30, 2014 at 22:22

    I loved this :) Great story. I want to write a story soon…

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:02

      Thank you, Yazmin! Definitely! It was rather vicious, wasn’t it?

      • 41 The Reading Girl May 1, 2014 at 22:42

        hehe yes :D especially Amelia. I hope she leaves you alone since its obvious you do not want to be with her :p

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:51

        She’s been torturing me for some time, you know.

      • 43 The Reading Girl May 2, 2014 at 21:47

        i can tell. I think you should throw her a bucket of cold ice water. But then she would get revenge on you….she is quiet a hard person

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 18:53

        Haha, yes, that’ll fetch her! I wonder…do you suppose her revenge would be…brutal?

      • 45 The Reading Girl May 5, 2014 at 21:33

        I would think so.that’s why you should watch out

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 23:31

        Maybe I should have you deal with her…

      • 47 The Reading Girl May 6, 2014 at 22:27

        ha how so? I do not think I am that strong to fight her :P but i am creative

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 23:24

        Well, she’s not overly strong (like the professor–okay, I’m bragging). But you could outsmart her, I think.

      • 49 The Reading Girl May 6, 2014 at 23:24

        well how? making her fall in love with someone else? nope, ummm I need to really think about that one :P

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2014 at 13:58

        It’s a pickle, huh?

      • 51 The Reading Girl May 7, 2014 at 22:04

        ha yeah. we can send her to the moon..just a thought

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2014 at 23:49

        But we must be sure she’d…die!

      • 53 The Reading Girl May 7, 2014 at 23:51

        of course…we could poison her….but I think I am to kind to do that

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke May 7, 2014 at 23:52

        Yeah, me too. But look! she picks on me!

      • 55 The Reading Girl May 7, 2014 at 23:54

        I know…we have to come up with some…you are quiet wicked. I think we should just make her explode or something

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 14:26

        Yes! But aren’t you being wicked too? *laughs*

      • 57 The Reading Girl May 8, 2014 at 21:40

        ha :) yes. I have a bad side of me too ;) that many do not know about..HAHA (imagine me laughing wickedly) hehe

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 01:19

        I can hear it! It’s like DS!

      • 59 The Reading Girl May 9, 2014 at 01:20

        haha well… ;)

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 01:26

        Maybe a little off?

      • 61 The Reading Girl May 9, 2014 at 01:27

        yes…I think I found a way to make Amelia disappear. Make her fall in love with someone else. its brilliant isn’t…haha

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 20:33

        It is! But who will you make her fall in love with?

      • 63 The Reading Girl May 9, 2014 at 22:35

        hmmm it is hard…I’ll have to think about it

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 12:47

        Yes, it’s a sticky wicket, for sure!

  9. 65 weggieboy April 30, 2014 at 18:44

    A delicate dance!

    • 66 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:45

      What do you mean, my man?

  10. 67 Julie Harris April 30, 2014 at 18:43

    A lovely collaboration! Amelia is most definitely smitten with the professor!

    • 68 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:44

      No! She’s just doing that. So, what do you suppose I should do with her?

  11. 69 Simply Skeptical April 30, 2014 at 17:40

    What would you fellas do without us ladies the spice of life? :-) Amelia does seem to be the fatal attraction type – beware Prof.

    • 70 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member April 30, 2014 at 17:59

      We would live normal lives…

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:24

        *laughing lots*

    • 72 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:23

      Well, did you know the professor was spicy?

  12. 73 technophile9 April 30, 2014 at 17:33

    Poor Amelia. I think… well I don’t know what to think! :P

    • 74 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member April 30, 2014 at 18:00

      I think VJ is way out of his element.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:25

        Yes, I think my element is…well, it’s skipped my mind.

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:23

      Come on, Joe. You must help. Say what you feel, my man!

      • 77 technophile9 April 30, 2014 at 21:23

        I like her. ;)

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:01

        Joe! Really? Why?

      • 79 technophile9 May 3, 2014 at 12:02

        She’s an underdog. Trying so hard to win your affections… ;) hard not to root for her. But, as Audrey said, are you incompatible? We’ll have to wait and see. ;)

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:10

        Joe, you’re making me feel bad now!

  13. 81 desertdweller29 April 30, 2014 at 16:03

    Lots of foul play committed on this date, Professor! I say a new date is in order. One without Audrey whispering fear and doubt into Amelia’s ear. How can you not be drawn to someone with shadowy eyes? Plus she understands the Professor, knowing he likes to feel free and protected!

    “Strange is relatively relative…” I would definitely say, Audrey.

    • 82 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:17

      Well, what does shadowy eyes mean exactly? So you don’t think I should run from Amelia! This is so interesting. I feel completely gardoobled on the subject now.

      • 83 desertdweller29 April 30, 2014 at 16:31

        Feeling gardoobled suggest strong emotions towards Amelia. The Professor should explore this one… Shadowy eyes are eyes that will never grow dull… Intriguing prospects, Professor. Also, Audrey’s actions suggest interest in the Professor. Maybe a duel is in order.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:20

        Oh dear. Do you think I should run away?

      • 85 desertdweller29 April 30, 2014 at 20:52

        The Professor should run from no one! Well, unless they’re wielding an ax. Then I suggest running very fast. :)

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:01

        That’s right! But what if I have a katana?

      • 87 Jazzy Couldren April 30, 2014 at 17:58

        You is leading him towards un-manliness. I’s think the professor needs to go play with his Katana more.

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:24

        Really, MM?

  14. 89 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 30, 2014 at 15:53

    I had blast writing this story with you, Duketh.

    However, I think she’s mad mad mad now. I should have been more wicked, I think. Something tells me, she won’t be giving up so easily.
    (I just love reading this story. I laugh and smile and laugh again. Thank you! )

    • 90 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:14

      It was so much fun! Thanks so much for getting crazy with me.

      Well…maybe you could pop her off, then?

      • 91 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister April 30, 2014 at 20:20

        Anytime, Duke!

        You want me to kill her????!!! *becomes pensive*

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:00

        Well, dadblameit–I don’t know! Maybe she won’t come back?

      • 93 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 15:48

        I think she will… I should have handled it better.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:15

        I thought you did a fine job. What would you have done differently?

      • 95 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 20:31

        *pass the coffee*

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:32

        Won’t do it!

      • 97 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 1, 2014 at 20:46

        *gets it herself*

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:50

        I bet there’s a sock in it.

      • 99 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 2, 2014 at 18:28

        Sucks the all coffee out of the sock.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 21:09

        *doubly shocked face* Wow. You must like coffee.

      • 101 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2014 at 05:02

        And shocking you!! Haha! *smiles proudly*

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:04

        Well, that did the trick!

      • 103 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister May 3, 2014 at 19:59

        Good! *still smiling*

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:48

        ==]:-)

  15. 105 Angeline M April 30, 2014 at 15:34

    And you think the war is over? Oh, my dear P.VJ….gird your loins.

    • 106 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:13

      Seriously? No! Tell me it’s over! Has it just begun?

      • 107 Angeline M April 30, 2014 at 16:47

        Oh, sweetie…we need to talk.

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:22

        Maybe I should get the chariot ready and depart. Should I be worried? I think I am.

      • 109 Angeline M April 30, 2014 at 20:23

        Yup.

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:01

        You make it sound so dreadful!

      • 111 Angeline M May 1, 2014 at 03:05

        Be very worried

  16. 112 erinkenobi2893 April 30, 2014 at 14:22

    *sneaks in a last blow by flinging a whipped-cream-filled pudding at Amelia’s head, then looks innocent*

    • 113 Symphonist Sepperl April 30, 2014 at 15:14

      You don’t like Amelia?? How is that possible?

      • 114 erinkenobi2893 April 30, 2014 at 15:36

        Liking doesn’t have anything to do with it. If she were my best friend I’d use that as an excuse to throw a pie at her. :-P As it is, I don’t have any excuse. *throws a wet sponge at her for good measure* Hey, at least I gave her the means to clean up! :-P

    • 115 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:12

      *laughing* That’s the spirit, Erin! Now a lightsaber blow!

      • 116 erinkenobi2893 May 1, 2014 at 14:45

        Ehhh… *shrugs* *smacks Amelia with the lightsaber hilt, knocking her out*
        Oh dear… I do hope I haven’t knocked the crystal out of alignment. A mis-aligned crystal in a lightsaber can, well… make the lightsaber explode.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:07

        I didn’t know that! But I’ll bet it takes more to do that.

      • 118 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 13:08

        *partially disassembles and re-assembles the lightsaber* Normally, it doesn’t. Still, I would rather be careful. That should fix the problem…

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:11

        And I didn’t even know it could be disassembled.

      • 120 erinkenobi2893 May 2, 2014 at 14:06

        Well,… after all, I built it, didn’t I? And I have to know how to take it apart, in case it needs repairs.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:53

        Does every Jedi build their weapon?

      • 122 erinkenobi2893 May 3, 2014 at 19:52

        Yes, actually. It’s kind of less-fun now than it was back before the Clone Wars, when kids would wait until they were Padawans to build their weapons. That way, they could have a Master’s help with it. Now, though, they just accelerate the kids through the Gathering as fast as possible. Which is sad. (I know this because Obi-Wan was telling Anakin about the “good old days” when the Gathering worked slightly differently, and telling Anakin how much tougher it was when he (Obi-Wan) was a Padawan, and how badly Anakin is spoiled. I was cheering Obi-Wan on the whole time, from the sidelines. Anakin tried to give me the stern master glare, but I’ve never been as scared of him as I am of Obi-Wan. ;-P)

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:46

        And I bet you could beat Anakin in a fight anyway! Is he a master now?

      • 124 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 15:00

        Possibly… I don’t know. I don’t think he ever made it past knighthood, to tell the absolute truth. But then again, some people never become full Jedi Masters. And some people become Masters only a couple years after being knighted. *shrugs* I guess it’s all about how well they learn and things.

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 18:09

        I suppose so. I don’t think the Masters are overly fair.

      • 126 erinkenobi2893 May 5, 2014 at 23:52

        Well, they have to be sort of discriminating. If they weren’t, lots more people would end up dead. So I suppose they really have a right to be unfair. :-P

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 12:45

        I suppose so. Windu is at the top of the list of meanies.

      • 128 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 12:54

        Ehhh… he’s not that bad, really. He’s just scary. :-P I think he might even have a sense of humor in his off time. :-P

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 13:03

        I hope you’re right. I like him, you know.

      • 130 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 15:08

        So do I. :-D

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 15:57

        I was so mad when Anakin cut off his arm.

      • 132 erinkenobi2893 May 6, 2014 at 18:17

        Anakin did what?! 0_0 When was this?!

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke May 6, 2014 at 23:07

        He cut off Windu’s arm!

      • 134 erinkenobi2893 May 8, 2014 at 11:11

        What?! When did he do that?!
        Oh, probably in “Revenge of the Sith”… which I have not seen yet. Bummer.

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke May 8, 2014 at 14:55

        Yes, that’s when. Windu had Sideous beat. Don’t you think Windu should have sense that Anakin was going to do that?

      • 136 erinkenobi2893 May 9, 2014 at 14:53

        I think in the novelization they say something about that–Windu thought for a moment about the irony of missing the one shatterpoint that was most important. Technically, a shatterpoint is a weak point in an event or person or even an object, where all their fault lines meet up. The whole event can sway on that one point, and finding the right point to utilize can change the entire outcome. It is seriously cool, I think. Windu can perceive them in the Force; I think that Obi-Wan actually uses logic to locate them, which is totally different but again like Sherlock…

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke May 9, 2014 at 20:47

        That is really neatio. I like how Windu goes about it, and Obi-Wan has a great way. Just think!

      • 138 erinkenobi2893 May 10, 2014 at 14:30

        Yeah… :-) It says on the Clone Wars profile trading card thing that he was one of the greatest strategists on the Republic side.
        You know what would be interesting? Obi-Wan vs. Tarkin (who is a twisted genius) in a battle of wits… “Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun.”

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 12:54

        That would be an interest to see.

      • 140 erinkenobi2893 May 13, 2014 at 13:39

        I should write that. If I knew how to edit videos, I’d make a sort of Clone Wars/Princess Bride crossover thing. That would be fun. :-P

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2014 at 13:01

        And fun to watch.

      • 142 erinkenobi2893 May 15, 2014 at 14:47

        Indeed. ^_^ Anakin would be kind of amusing as Inigo, no? :-P
        “It’s possible, pig. I might be bluffing.” :-P Imagine that at Palpacreep. X-P

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2014 at 15:09

        *laughing* And he’d so deserve that.

      • 144 erinkenobi2893 May 16, 2014 at 16:19

        Oh yes indeed! :-P Though I would call Palpatine a turnip-headed warthog-faced mat-backed yellow-bellied noodle-nose. :-P

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke May 16, 2014 at 23:04

        Wowawee! Now that’s just perfect.

      • 146 erinkenobi2893 May 19, 2014 at 12:04

        :-D Glad you think so! I learned from the best. X-D

  17. 147 John W. Howell April 30, 2014 at 14:17

    Enjoyed it. Amelia is not going to give up very easily so Audrey you better plan ahead. VJ you dog you.

    • 148 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:12

      But why? I thought I was sweet, John. And I thought it was over?

      • 149 John W. Howell April 30, 2014 at 17:59

        Nope two women, one charming man…..never over.

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:24

        But I’m a wicked professor–that must count for something.

      • 151 John W. Howell May 1, 2014 at 12:34

        More of the charm. They are women after all.

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:06

        Rats. Now I’m…depressed.

      • 153 John W. Howell May 1, 2014 at 17:06

        Pick yourself up with a ripping review. That should do it.

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:21

        Yes, you’re right. But now to find one to rip, John.

      • 155 John W. Howell May 1, 2014 at 20:39

        *crickets*

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:45

        Well, that’s helpful, dadblameit!

      • 157 John W. Howell May 2, 2014 at 12:57

        [[[[|:-)>

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:09

        Remarkable! What sort of face is it, John?

      • 159 John W. Howell May 2, 2014 at 13:22

        It’s the old “don’t know much smiley face.” In contrast to the professorial smiley face

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:48

        Well, mine looks rather dull, too, you must admit.

      • 161 John W. Howell May 2, 2014 at 21:52

        too? Like in as well?

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 18:54

        *laughing* Well, dadblameit! I thought you were calling it dull…

      • 163 John W. Howell May 3, 2014 at 19:31

        *laughing*Only in comparison to the professorial smiley face which is not dull.

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:36

        Well, every so often it does appear that way. I think it would fit well in a July 4th picnic.

  18. 165 FictionFan April 30, 2014 at 13:50

    Well, good noodles! The last thing I was expecting over on the PL was a romance novel – always a surprise here! Just a hint, Prof – most girls prefer you not to bring your friends along on a date…

    • 166 Susan P April 30, 2014 at 14:38

      You think? Laughing. As I said, the war has only just begun.

      • 167 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:13

        It has not, dadblameit!

      • 168 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 00:47

        You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:03

        Well, yes! You’re just…teasing me!

      • 170 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 13:09

        I have never been a tease. Really, Professorish Person.

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:12

        Did you know I’m the Professorish Person of Interest?

      • 172 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 13:28

        Really? How is that?

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 19:43

        Well, Fusco might save me, you see.

      • 174 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 20:19

        Fusco…???!!

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:27

        Lionel Fusco! He’s from Person of Interest. One of my heroes.

      • 176 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 20:44

        Does he look like you?

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:49

        *laughing lots* Well–before I answer–what do you think?

      • 178 Susan P May 2, 2014 at 19:03

        I think there is definitely a likeness of sorts.

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 21:09

        I wish there were. But no. Not at all, actually. A pity, isn’t it?

      • 180 Susan P May 3, 2014 at 00:51

        Maybe I can see things you can’t see.

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:02

        Ooo, like what?

      • 182 Susan P May 3, 2014 at 19:17

        Below the surface.

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:34

        You can see most of the iceberg down there.

      • 184 Susan P May 11, 2014 at 20:44

        So, you are just chillin’?

      • 185 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 12:57

        Maybe! You make it sound wicked!

      • 186 Susan P May 12, 2014 at 13:00

        It can be wicked if you like.

      • 187 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 13:04

        Oh I like!

      • 188 Susan P May 12, 2014 at 13:07

        Haha! Let’s see it then.

      • 189 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 16:41

        A wicked iceberg?

      • 190 Susan P May 12, 2014 at 17:21

        Of course. Icebergs ARE wicked. The Titanic proved that.

      • 191 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 23:02

        They should have all swum to the iceberg and climbed aboard.

      • 192 Susan P May 13, 2014 at 00:56

        Were they wearing cleats do you think? They’d need to fine a foothold some how.

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2014 at 12:44

        They could use a hammer and nails.

      • 194 Susan P May 13, 2014 at 18:56

        And maybe boots.

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2014 at 13:13

        I bet you’re right.

      • 196 Susan P May 14, 2014 at 13:26

        Grin

    • 197 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:07

      It was a not a romance, dadblameit! What makes you think such spit-tooey? It was just a sociable dinner. If it was a date, I’d a brought my rat.

      • 198 FictionFan April 30, 2014 at 16:37

        Tchah! It’s a romance! The Professor has given up his heroic adventures to go for dinner with…a girl! And worse yet, he needs to take someone else along to try to find out what the girl thinks of him! He’s not even Darby…he’s turned into Bingley!!! *sobs bitterly at downfall of a once-great hero*

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:21

        You don’t know that! For instance, what if I was there on a secret mission? Now wouldn’t that be coolio!

        Oh yes, I fear I could use thousands of people to figure out what a woman thinks. It’s so confusing–wouldn’t you say?

        Bingley… *laughs because he knows something FEF doesn’t!*

      • 200 FictionFan April 30, 2014 at 18:35

        I’ve changed my mind. Not Bingley – Mr Ratherquite!!! Of all the role-models you could have chosen in the PL, you pick him… *continues to sob, completely bereft that the once-glorious Professor has been reduced to this*

        There was a time when you’d have been too busy doing hero things to care… *checks to see if Professorial katana has been listed for sale on eBay yet*

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:43

        Well, madam, I completely disagree with you forever and evers! The professor is rather much the same, I think. Maybe a bit rusty in fighting skills since the accident, but overall, still professorish.

        I think you know you’re speaking Huff-Humerery! I’d never sell my katana…

      • 202 FictionFan May 1, 2014 at 15:55

        I wish I could believe you, but the evidence shows quite plainly that the Professor has become a Mr R wannabe. It’s nothing to be ashamed of though (she sobbed) – and you’ll probably find you enjoy dancing now! Was that the tree/head-bashing accident? Yes that could explain things…

        Ah, yes. No doubt you’d want to hold on to a reminder of your glory days…

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:16

        *laughing lots* And here I thought Mr. R was your favorite character. I mean, I know you say you like Schwarz and all, but it’s a front. Everyone likes Mr. R.

        The tree did knock me out of focus.

        My glory days have departed 100 years ago.

      • 204 FictionFan May 2, 2014 at 00:40

        Good noodles, no!! Whatever gave you that idea? No, although he very, very occasionally says something almost sensible, he’s still a master of the art of pompous buffoonery! Now Schwarzy – there would be a better role model for the Professor…

        Yes, you do look a bit blurred…

        Just get over this unfortunate tendency towards soppy romance and you’ll still have years of heroic glory to look forward to…

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:57

        *laughing* Can’t I be like Hector instead?

        Yes. What should I do about it?

        It wasn’t romance, I think. I was doing my best to shatter her heart. I thought, “Shatter her heart and that’ll fetch her. The situation will be resolved.” I don’t think she’s got a heart.

      • 206 FictionFan May 2, 2014 at 15:18

        Don’t you think Schwarzy is a bit like Hector? Without the skirt though. But yes, much better to be like Hector than Mr R!

        Hmm…you could get the NASA people to recalibrate your image via Hubble and then retransmit you back to Earth…

        It was so romance! But if you really want rid of her, I’d think taking another of your ladies along on your date to do your talking for you should have just about achieved that objective…However, the Professor has become so obsessed by romance recently that it’s obvious he must be in love with somebody…

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:57

        Not at all! I’m sure he doesn’t aspire to that, you know.

        That would be a tricky situation, I think.

        You’d like to think that, huh? We all know the professor is heartless. Audrey was just helping me get rid of someone. You see, had it been a man, you could punch them out. But you’re right: I should lose the gentleman code, I think.

      • 208 FictionFan May 3, 2014 at 00:10

        You’re right. He doesn’t need to. *smiles dreamily*

        Hmm…was that you being a gentleman? Then you’re right again – you’re nothing like Darby. But good that your ladies will do the difficult stuff for you…

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 18:58

        *wonders what FEF’s dreaming about, and decides probably pickles*

        Hmm…I’m not sure what to say or do. So, I’ll do the sensible thing and say something, “Huff-Hum and ten roars to you, madam!”

      • 210 FictionFan May 3, 2014 at 23:38

        *chuckles* Glad to see the real Professor back – the one without an ounce of romance in his soul…

        Ten? Ooh, that’s twice as many as normal, I think! I’m very proud!

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 13:00

        And ever since I lost my heart in battle, it’s been impossible.

        Dadblameit! You should…be scared!!!!

      • 212 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member April 30, 2014 at 17:59

        I think VJ is spending too much time hanging around with women. It’s getting dangerous.

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:24

        Thanks, Nick. What do you suggest?

      • 214 Me, Myself and DIY April 30, 2014 at 18:27

        Oh goodness Professor, you showed your hand! Stepping into the punchy land of women’s emotions – that’s not what I expected either! Of course there’s romance, even if it isn’t yours. Amelia obviously has some romantic intentions! Good show all around.

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:41

        And goodness me for sure! The emotions part is too complicated isn’t it?

      • 216 Me, Myself and DIY May 1, 2014 at 12:45

        By far – very brave of you to venture into that territory. :)

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:06

        What should I do now?

      • 218 Me, Myself and DIY May 1, 2014 at 14:21

        Run for your life! Ha!

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:01

        I should stand and fight!

      • 220 Me, Myself and DIY May 1, 2014 at 22:55

        Go for it if you dare. I look forward to reading all about your bravery!

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:51

        You make it seem like I might lose, dadblameit!

      • 222 Me, Myself and DIY May 2, 2014 at 13:21

        I never said that! (heehee)

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:47

        But, now what do you think?

  19. 224 shortstoriesbyanon April 30, 2014 at 13:39

    Awesome, very punchy indeed! Poor Amelia! I do feel slightly bad for her! Love the story PVJ and Audrey D!

    • 225 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:06

      Many thank thanks! Was I too mean, would you say?

      • 226 shortstoriesbyanon April 30, 2014 at 16:55

        No problemo! I think you exerted just the right amount of meanness!

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:23

        Perfect! What should I do if she comes back?

  20. 228 PorterGirl April 30, 2014 at 13:32

    What a superbly super tale! Love the dialogue. And, Professor, wasn’t I right that Amelia had… intentionas towards you?! I can tell these things. I feel a bit sorry for her. She must be heartbroken.

    • 229 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:06

      Yes, you were, Lucy! You have insight for sure. And many thanks!

      But don’t you think Audrey handled things just fine?

      • 230 PorterGirl April 30, 2014 at 16:07

        She was just perfect. Understanding, yet firm. I feel Amelia needs a firm hand…

        Audrey was heroic!

      • 231 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:18

        Yes! Audrey was. We should celebrate.

        And a beating!

      • 232 PorterGirl April 30, 2014 at 16:25

        Yes, celebrate – excellent idea.

        A beating? You’re probably right, Professor. It might teach her a lesson. I hope Amelia doesn’t take revenge. You know what they say about a woman scorned…

      • 233 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 18:20

        For sure!

        Yes, I know. But is it a true saying, would you say?

      • 234 PorterGirl May 1, 2014 at 05:08

        Sadly, I think it is. But some ladies are more scorn-able than others. Amelia seems particularly… sensitive

      • 235 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:03

        So then, she needs popped off.

      • 236 PorterGirl May 1, 2014 at 13:09

        Agreed. Ruber should bake her in a pie!

      • 237 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:11

        *laughing* And throw the pie over the cliff.

      • 238 PorterGirl May 1, 2014 at 13:14

        I might eat the pie. And throw myself over the cliff?

      • 239 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 19:37

        *laughing* We wouldn’t want to throw you over the cliff! But you can have the pie, if you’d like.

      • 240 PorterGirl May 1, 2014 at 19:52

        That’s kind. I don’t think I could see a pie go to waste like that. Unless – we bake her in a concrete pie?!

      • 241 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:22

        She’s deserve that. But impinge how heavy it would be to lift over and drop?

      • 242 PorterGirl May 2, 2014 at 05:17

        Oh yes. I’m sure Manly Man and his huge muscles could manage it!

      • 243 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:05

        That’s true. We could use him.

      • 244 PorterGirl May 2, 2014 at 13:09

        Such a useful chap.

      • 245 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 13:12

        Usually. Though he can get stubborn. If he does, we’ll kick him over too!

      • 246 PorterGirl May 2, 2014 at 13:38

        Aha! Certainly we shall!

      • 247 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 20:49

        He’ll probably get devastating revenge too.

      • 248 PorterGirl May 3, 2014 at 09:39

        :)

  21. 249 Susan P April 30, 2014 at 13:31

    Once is a wink, more than that is a nervous twitch. :) And boy oh boy, the war has only just begun! *laughing* Well done PVJ and Audith. Well done indeed.

    • 250 Professor VJ Duke April 30, 2014 at 16:05

      Only begun? You can’t be serious, Susan! I was hoping it was over, dadblameit.

      Was I nervous twitching?

      • 251 Susan P April 30, 2014 at 18:41

        Seemed like it, Professor.

      • 252 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 12:44

        That’s called a professorish twitch, you know.

      • 253 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 12:55

        Is it then? Professors must be sensitive souls.

      • 254 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 13:08

        Yes, don’t you think so?

      • 255 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 13:26

        Some are and some aren’t. I could tell you stories, but it’s not nice to speak ill of the dead.

      • 256 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 19:42

        Ooo! They might prepare for war…

      • 257 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 20:15

        It all depends on what the profess.

      • 258 Professor VJ Duke May 1, 2014 at 20:24

        That’s true.

      • 259 Susan P May 1, 2014 at 20:44

        they. what they profess

      • 260 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 12:48

        It is important–what one professes!

      • 261 Susan P May 2, 2014 at 19:04

        And a profession is not the same as a confession.

      • 262 Professor VJ Duke May 2, 2014 at 21:09

        Now, what’s the difference?

      • 263 Susan P May 3, 2014 at 00:51

        Look carefully, sir.

      • 264 Professor VJ Duke May 3, 2014 at 19:02

        I did!

      • 265 Susan P May 3, 2014 at 19:19

        It’s a caricature of the two of you.

      • 266 Professor VJ Duke May 5, 2014 at 12:35

        But what do you mean by two of you?

      • 267 Susan P May 11, 2014 at 20:44

        You and Amelia, of course. Who else?

      • 268 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 12:58

        I’m going to have to kill Amelia, I see.

      • 269 Susan P May 12, 2014 at 13:00

        Is that not illegal in the PL?

      • 270 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 13:04

        Only if you get caught!

      • 271 Susan P May 12, 2014 at 13:08

        Stay away from fish hooks.

      • 272 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 16:41

        I don’t see what those things have to do with it!

      • 273 Susan P May 12, 2014 at 17:22

        You would see, sir, if you got caught in a fish hook.

      • 274 Professor VJ Duke May 12, 2014 at 23:02

        I always thought I was a type of trout.

      • 275 Susan P May 13, 2014 at 00:57

        Well, that would help you be able to dance…you know…The Fox Trout. *Susan ducks incoming missile*

      • 276 Professor VJ Duke May 13, 2014 at 12:45

        Do you suppose Fox Trouts taste good?

      • 277 Susan P May 13, 2014 at 18:57

        I don’t know. They are sly creatures.
        You can chase them, but they are hard to catch.

      • 278 Professor VJ Duke May 14, 2014 at 13:14

        Sounds like the professor!

      • 279 Susan P May 14, 2014 at 13:27

        Mmm-hmm


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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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