All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate unless noted otherwise.
1. Paying an insult is a tricky business; it must be done in such a way as to make the recipient wonder if one was really just presented.
2. Some things are inexplicable; like how time can go so fast when minutes only crawl by.
3. Snakes are hard to spot; especially when they’re wearing suits.
Favorites, PF? The professor really likes #3. Only I wear cargo pants.
Severe Weather Report
It has been hurricane-ing (new, splendid word) atop Mr. Magi’s cave—which is far below the waves of the Atlantic Ocean. He has decided to hibernate one day longer as a result. The Punchy Lands is bound to get out of order.
Featured Story: The Manly House
by J. Freedwoppen
The Punchy Lands was thrown into an uproar when Jazzy Couldren’s The Manly House (his training studio) opened this past day and some.
“My house is to make men know how to be manly,” Manly-Man said.
When I asked Manly-Man if manliness was a dying art, he replied, “Yeah, you know it is.”
Already, The Manly House is quite full of eager men wanting to get manly.
Manly-Man is their personal instructor.
Secrets agents Mark Malone and Lottie Ollie will be watched out for, Manly-Man said.
“We need manliness. Not girly manliness.”
MicP Studios—Behind the Scenes
by Nicholas Warren
The walls were lime green. In the truest sense of lime green. Maybe even limier than a lime. It was bad. That was the first thing I thought upon entering the studio. I turned to VJ. “What happened?”
He didn’t really seem to care. “Well, I asked the Audio Engineers to paint the room. Do you like it? I think it’s rather spicy, but I’m not sure I like it.”
“It’s horrendous. I would imagine they’re more than colorblind. Why would you hire them?”
“Well, I’d supposed they needed something to do. When not engineering, you know…”
“Whatever. Let’s get to work on this project.”
VJ had called me in to work on a particular project he was having a hard time with. Or just wasn’t trying with. He says it was the former. I think it was the latter.
So we got down to work. Two hours later, we were almost finished. Just a few lines to go. That’s when the Professor got hungry and went to make himself soup.
I finished the lines. And then it happened.
And it was the lime green walls’ fault. I never forget.
But this time I did.
I clicked the ‘X’ button without saving. It didn’t even prompt me to save.
I just stared at the screen and felt like roaring.
VJ came in and I told him what happened.
The professor laughed a little and cried a little. Then he winked a whole bunch. “I need to get lunch. Let’s finish this tomorrow.”
And we were done until the next day.
JULLIARD SALAMI: So, you look particularly ugly today.
RUBER SALAMI: Why thank you, Julliard, my rotten cousin.
JULLIARD SALAMI: Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being ugly when you could be uglier.
RUBER SALAMI: Julliard, I feel like harpooning you today.
JULLIARD SALAMI: You don’t even know how to throw a harpoon.
RUBER SALAMI: Well, let’s practice.
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