“Hello, Schwarz,” I offered. But I didn’t offer my hand.
“Hey. Just so you know, I’m really…not happy.”
“Because,” Schwarz answered, “I came here to have a chickit vacation. And there’s gators, snakes, and bugs everywhere! Chickit.”
“Hmm, I see. Well, it’s all in how you’re looking at things. For instance, what don’t you like about the gators?”
Schwarz was honest. “I think they walk weirdly.”
In truth, this professor was expecting a different answer. I was thrown off-balance, but only for a slight division of a second.
“Well, Schwarz,” I tried to explain, “everything walks weirdly, don’t you think so?”
“I guess. But nothing walks as weirdly as a snake does!”
At that moment, Bud Parker walked up. “Bud, snakes don’t walk, they slither.”
“Wish I could slither,” I remarked.
“I don’t,” Schwarz answered.
Parker laughed. “Whatever, buds.”
“And what about all the bugs here?” Schwarz asked. “I hate bugs.”
“You know, bud, Fats Henry says I’m a bug.” Parker clicked.
“Does he try and squash you?” I asked.
Parker nodded. “Oh yeah, bud.”
And then Schwarz—for no apparent reason—yelled at Parker:
“Well, it’s no fair that you want to be a bug when we have so many of them around!”
Schwarz stormed off.
“Schwarz,” I said, “you should go to the beach. You’d have a great time there, for sure.”
“Yeah, maybe. I should just go back and brave the tornadoes. Vacation is worse—tell you what!”
And this, Punchy Family, is the lesson that the professor learned:
Lesson: When you think you have it hard, don’t flee, or you might get it harder.
Isn’t that a fair assumption?