So, Schwarz Tauptinker and I went to the beach.
While there, I was looking for myself. It’s always good to look for one’s self. I had to go under the water before I found myself. But found myself, I did. (That’s me down there.)
“What am I supposed to do here?” Schwarz asked.
“I don’t know!” I said. “Look for shells. It’s said you can hear the ocean in them—if you listen closely.”
“That’s weird,” Schwarz commented. “I can hear the ocean now.”
And that’s when the professor and Schwarz ran into Susan Price.
“Well, hello,” the professor greeted.
“Professorish Person! You almost walked into my sand sculpture! Oh! You brought Mr. Tauptinker with you. ”
“Oh, rats and a heifer! I didn’t even see it.” And this professor stepped back some–and then some more. “It looks like a raccoon. Very nice.”
“Oh, Professor! That’s not a raccoon! Look a little closer. Laws, how can that be a raccoon?”
“I could be wrong, then,” this professor replied. “I just thought I saw a few claws.”
Schwarz looked up towards the sky. “I wish I could fly like the pelicans. Oh yes I do!”
“I’d rather be a shark with purple fins,” I said.
“Mr. T, are you saying you wish to fly with the pelicans?” Susan asked. “If you knew about their feeding habits, you might change your mind!”
And the professor was completely stumped. Not like a tree, though. For, how did birds feed?
Schwarz shook his head. “Na. I don’t want to fly with them. But I bet I can make their sound, chickit!”
“I think I’m leaving,” Schwarz said suddenly. “Tornadoes seem kinda cool, you know, after all.”
“But, Schwarz!” I was quite baffled by now.
“As you wish, Mr. T.” Susan said. “Florida isn’t for the faint of heart. Let’s head for your car. Did you park in a lot, or on the beach?”
“You tell me one good thing about the beach, then!” Schwarz demanded.
“Schwarz came on a bicycle, I think,” I put in.
“Well, then, Professor, where is the confounded bike rack where he locked up his bike then?”
Schwarz thought for a second. “Maybe if I had a rubber donut to float on, I’d be happy.”
And Schwarz did think about it for a second. “Nah. Change my mind. Couldn’t eat it. I’m leaving.”
Then Schwarz left—for real. Not for fake.
“I wonder where he’ll get too, you know…” this professor said. “Let’s go turtle hunting…”