All proverbs are written by V. Shnodgrate unless noted otherwise.
1. To live forever is a dream, and possibly a nightmare.
2. Age is but a number; that’s what makes it so depressing.
3. Pick on people and enjoy it, but don’t overdo it; for if you do, eventually all the pickable pieces will have been picked off.
Favorites, PF? The professor likes one of them–maybe.
Severe Weather Report
No severe weather to speak of this week, which disappoints all the weather staff immeasurably.
Featured Story: Bridges And How They Collapse
by J. Freedwoppen
Three bridges collapsed in the tiny city of Notebook this week.
It was looked into.
This is what the mayor had to say: “Yes, they did collapse. And we didn’t want them, so we’re fine about them collapsing. Now, we’ll build new ones.”
Apparently, this was the plan: wait for the old bridges to collapse, then build new ones.
It would have been nice to issue a warning to the public, though.
Over 50 people perished.
“We didn’t think of it,” the mayor responded. “We’re working as of now to build our public relations office.”
MicP Studios—Behind the Scenes
by Nicholas Warren
But I didn’t think we should trust him. He says things often that he doesn’t do. You see, composers, I think, are often insane. And anyone who has spoken to our composer must agree.
So we spoke about it. And we spoke about it. And we talked about it. We tried to decide whether we believed him. But then we just decided to wait and see. Maybe he’ll do it. Maybe he won’t.
MR. MAGI: Something is afoot!
DADDY SALAMI: Yes, and it’s me!
MR. MAGI: No, something far more dreadful than you, actually.
DADDY SALAMI: What could that be?
MR. MAGI: I’m not sure; you tell me.
DADDY SALAMI: Me with a sword?
Questions for Nicholas Warren? Comment here!
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