“Okay,” Schwarz Tauptinker said. “So I’ve got this dilemma.”
Fats Henry rolled his eyes. “I’m way too busy to hear it.” Henry paused. “What do you want?”
“Aren’t you busy anymore?”
Henry frowned disapprovingly. “Let’s just hear it! I’m granting you permission to tell me your dilemma.”
“Okay, thanks,” Schwarz said. “I want to go to that little mart down the street.”
“I would, but I don’t know how. Do I turn right or left at the end of the street?”
“Right.” Henry seemed to think it was common knowledge to know this.
“But which way is right and which way is left?” Schwarz asked. “Chickit I don’t know!”
“Left is left and right is right,” Henry explained. “If you go to the left, you’re going to the left. If you go to the right, you’re going to the right.”
“So, let me see if I got this all happy,” Schwarz said. “You can never go to the left and then to the right, or to the right and then to the left.”
“Did I say that, huh? Listen! Pay attention! Left is left and right is right.”
“I know!” Schwarz said, getting excited. “But suppose you want to go left, right, and then left?”
“Nooooo!” Henry roared. “Listen, what’s this have to do with going to the mart, huh?”
“I don’t know if I should go left or right.”
“But what’s to the left?”
“What’s that have to do with anything?” Henry roared.
“Never mind. You’re not good at giving directions.”
And Schwarz left.