Smiles Riot and Frankie S.

The following story might could is a bit of a dadblamerous conversation. (This new strikethrough thing that I’ve found is pretty really cool.)

***

Smiles Riot was sitting by himself, on a bench, when Frankie S. sat down next to him.

“Oh you know,” Frankie began, “back at the club, in the old days, they used to let me sing well into the night. And you know, they were the good days. Now, nobody knows—”

“The night is a scary time,” Smiles observed.

“Yeah, me too, but you know, I’ve always loved the night.”

“Was the night ever mean to you?” Smiles asked, turning towards Frankie. “It can be wicked like a worm.”

“Oh you know, back in the old days, I used to have my booze at night. They were sweet nights.”

“Booze…” Smiles mumbled. “You can’t hide behind it, but some say you can hide in it.”

“I’ve tried both. I like inside the best.”

“What should we do next, Frankie?” Smiles asked.

“Well, back in the old days, I’d go rob a bank.”

Smile seemed surprised. “That’s dangerous, I hear. Would it make you scream out at night?”

“No, but I used to sing at night.” Frankie smiled, remembering.

“Did you sing scary songs at night?”

“No, but I used to sing all night.”

“Have you ever slept on a park bench in the dead of winter with a newspaper on your lap?” Smiles asked.

“Oh you know,” Frankie said, “back at the club, in the old days, they used to let me sing well into the night. And you know, they were the good days. Now, nobody knows—”

“Conversation is such a circle, isn’t it? It goes round and round, barely making any sense. That’s what makes it so interesting, though.”

And that’s when Manly-Man walked up. He sat directly between Smiles and Frankie, and wrapped his arms around them.

“How’s my two little babies doin’?” Manly-Man smiled like he does.

Smiles answered. “Both babies died. They were young. They were taken from their cribs. It was horrible. It was ugly. They sat on park benches in the night, in the dead of winter…with a newspaper…” Smiles trailed off.

“That was in the days when babies were allowed to sing through the night.” Frankie laughed. “Ooo!”

Manly-Man didn’t say anything for a long moment. He was thinking about what to do.

Finally, he settled on it.

“Hey, get off my bench.”

And with one deft motion, Manly-Man knocked both Smiles and Frankie from the bench.

“Then that happened,” Smiles said.

Frankie laughed. “Back in the day…”

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106 Responses to “Smiles Riot and Frankie S.”


  1. 1 Susan P June 21, 2014 at 17:08

    This sounds so familiar, this kind of conversation. Except that I don’t stay up all night, I don’t sing, and I don’t look like the Professor.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:09

      The professor doesn’t even look like the professor you know.

      • 3 Susan P June 22, 2014 at 19:35

        Of course I knew that. He looks like a shrub.

      • 4 Susan P June 22, 2014 at 19:35

        Or maybe a scrub.

      • 5 Professor VJ Duke June 23, 2014 at 13:30

        Should I be cranky about that?

      • 6 Susan P June 23, 2014 at 15:20

        Only if it harbors ticks.

      • 7 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 00:13

        *growls*

      • 8 Susan P June 24, 2014 at 01:11

        You don’t scare me.

      • 9 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 13:47

        Rats!

      • 10 Susan P June 24, 2014 at 14:19

        Rats don’t scare me, either. I had pet mice when I was in middle school, and rats are just bigger mice. Now ticks scare the bejebers out of me.

      • 11 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 11:57

        Ticks…I should get a collection like Tom Sawyer almost had. There neatio beats.

      • 12 Susan P June 25, 2014 at 12:12

        *shudder*

  2. 13 Hazy June 18, 2014 at 22:33

    That was an interesting conversation. I see Smiles and Frankie get along well.

    The story about the babies were sad, though. And I couldn’t imagine the poor babies sitting on park benches at night with a newspaper. Sing through the night? More like cry through the night for babies *laughs*

    MM was a bit mean, wasn’t he? kicking those two out of the bench while they were just sitting, having a nice talk.

    • 14 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:19

      They sure do! It’s like a conversation between to odd ones!

      *laughing* You know, I think Smiles was referring to his childhood. Rather sad, huh?

      Yes, and no. What would you have done with them?

      • 15 Hazy June 22, 2014 at 13:05

        He was? Sad indeed. Poor Smiles.

        I think I would’ve gotten ice cream with them and listened to their conversation for a while, then leave. *laughs*

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:22

        Yes, it’s quite a cheery tale.

        I would have left sooner, so… Huff-Hum.

  3. 17 L. Marie June 18, 2014 at 12:22

    Just when I was thinking how elliptical Smiles Riot and Frankie S. are, suddenly Manly-Man comes and does exactly what I’d hoped he would do. :-) All’s right with the world now.

    • 18 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:50

      *laughing* And here I thought that you’d feel for Smiles! But I agree, it needed done. Just glad I didn’t do it. I don’t think they cared, though.

  4. 19 bardictale June 17, 2014 at 23:31

    Wicked as a worm?

    It seems like those two have great fun together.

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:50

      Do you suppose worms are wicked?

      They do! Do you like them?

      • 21 bardictale June 18, 2014 at 14:12

        No, I do not. I believe that they are fine creatures.
        That being said, I’m not interested in sharing my body with them.

        I suppose.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:05

        Would you pick one up?

        You mean yes!

      • 23 bardictale June 18, 2014 at 20:44

        I have picked one up. Several, in fact. Would you?

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:18

        Oh yes, I do it all the time. Isn’t it fun?

      • 25 bardictale June 19, 2014 at 02:56

        Hmm. Interesting would be the better word, I think.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:48

        They’re crazy creatures, you know.

      • 27 bardictale June 19, 2014 at 14:16

        Really? What have they done that makes you say that?

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:18

        Oh, they just wiggle all about.

      • 29 bardictale June 19, 2014 at 21:13

        That’s not crazy. That’s fun! ^~

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:19

        It is!

  5. 31 erinkenobi2893 June 17, 2014 at 21:50

    Smiles and Frankie deserved that! :-P

    • 32 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:47

      Yes, I think they did. Do you like MM?

      • 33 erinkenobi2893 June 18, 2014 at 13:46

        Ehhh… He’s kind of… *waves hand* I don’t particularly like him, but it was funny when he pushed the circular pests off the bench. ;-P

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:03

        *laughing* MM can be quite vicious, you know. Smiles is my cousin, too.

      • 35 erinkenobi2893 June 18, 2014 at 18:13

        He can. That’s what I don’t particularly like about him.
        I think I remember that… Wasn’t he in an insane asylum, at some point?

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:53

        Well, the professor hopes I’m vicious, dadblameit!

        Yes, I hope that doesn’t affect how you think of me, though…

      • 37 erinkenobi2893 June 19, 2014 at 02:00

        :-P It doesn’t. :-P The professor is quirky, and that gives him an excuse for viciousness. ;-)

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:44

        *bows* Yes, that’s about right. Thanks!

      • 39 erinkenobi2893 June 19, 2014 at 15:44

        :-D No problem!

  6. 40 InfiniteZip June 17, 2014 at 16:20

    I like to walk in the moonlight with the hounds….but eggnog would be nice….but it’s not Christmas yet.

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 17:49

      Do you like egg nog lots?

      • 42 InfiniteZip June 17, 2014 at 19:35

        Looooooooove it!!!!

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:37

        Even with relish?

      • 44 InfiniteZip June 18, 2014 at 13:01

        The condiment? Nooooo….that goes on weenies . With cinnamon and whiskey :)

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 13:16

        Now that does sound good. *laughs* Is it possible to have a weenie and egg nog together?

      • 46 InfiniteZip June 18, 2014 at 15:29

        Ick:(

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:12

        Oh dear! Well, then what?

  7. 48 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 17, 2014 at 15:51

    I think Frankie, Smiles and MM may have gotten into Nappy’s Wine or the professor’s eggnog.

    *laughs and then smirks* This reminds me of late night laughing fests with my sisters. When we all read each other’s minds and sense of comedic direction. This was a wonderful and humorous read, Duke.
    Loved it! ♥

    • 49 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 17:43

      What makes you suppose the professor has egg nog, though?

      *laughing* Oh, I’m sure that would have been great fun to hear!

      • 50 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 17, 2014 at 20:10

        I read it your tag the other day. Didn’t I?

        *laughs* We were calling resorts in Colorado yeaterday and from the sound of Middle’s voice this particular one wasn’t going to be for us, so I whispered…”we’re not agreeing to feed the homeless man under the porch twice a day” …she started giggling..Baby was on speaker phone laughing, Middle caught the laughter bug and then so did I…poor man on the phone had no idea why. Middle had to hang up after sucking air and excusing herself by saying a giggled..I’m sorry. Preparations went south after that.. *laughing again*

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:38

        You did! I’m still always shocked that my tags get read, to be honest.

        *laughing lots* Audith! That does sound like such fun. What a bunch of sillies. Which is awesome, you know. It probably gave the man on the other line a thing to laugh about, too.

      • 52 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 18, 2014 at 16:36

        Well, I often read your new posts from my email, so your tags show up. I giggle at some of them. The egg nog had me wondering.

        *laughing* If you only knew.. haha!! Yes, we often make the day of innocent bystanders. Duke, you would have enjoyed it.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:16

        Yes, it had me wondering too. I wasn’t sure why I thought of it.

        *laughing lots* Man, it makes me want to be there! I’d be normal, you know.

      • 54 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 18, 2014 at 19:15

        Oh, I’m sure you know what you’re doing, Duke. Master plan if some sort.

        I love that you understand that sort of situation. We were all in tears laughing. It does?…how normal would you be? Would I want you to be normal?

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:03

        Oh it’s really not. Some say I’m harmless.

        I do, yes! Well…I’d be…professorish. I don’t know! I’d probably just keep laughing… Would you?

      • 56 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 19, 2014 at 04:18

        What do the others say…?

        Professorish is good! Laughing is good! I think I’d want you to be you. Completely, you.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:49

        All sorts of dadblame things, really. Vicious, too!

        Yes, me too. It would be an interesting situation!

      • 58 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 19, 2014 at 16:27

        Yes, well, examples are always nice, you know.

        Yes, it would, Duke. *smiles*

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:24

        No more details!

      • 60 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 19, 2014 at 22:07

        *laughs*

  8. 61 Julie Harris June 17, 2014 at 14:44

    Amusing conversation… I like to sing at night, too!

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 17:42

      While sleeping?

      • 63 Julie Harris June 17, 2014 at 18:09

        Well, maybe in my dreams.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:36

        *nods* I understand. I’m always fighting in my dreams, you know.

  9. 65 Simply Skeptical June 17, 2014 at 14:17

    Hilarious! Just the kind of banter you’d expect in the Punch Lands. Laughing too hard!!!

    • 66 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 17:38

      Was it confusing, too?

  10. 67 The Dancing Rider June 17, 2014 at 13:21

    Ha, ha. MM is a man after my own heart (poor guys!). I love who said conversation was a circle, while they were being circular. :)

    • 68 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 17:35

      Yes, Smiles maybe is the saner of the two, and MM definitely did the right thing!

  11. 69 PorterGirl June 17, 2014 at 13:15

    Ooh fabulous, I love this – quite dark but very amusing all the same. It makes me wonder what sort of club would have Frankie singing all night…
    I adore Smiles, he strikes me as rather tortured in his own way. Brilliant when MM comes along and decides it’s his bench! He is so great :)

    The strike throughs are very effective, Professor!

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 17:35

      Well, a jazz club or bar, most likely. Don’t you suppose so?

      Definitely tortured. And he needs freed, I think. I’m just not sure how to go about it, really.

      MM made me laugh! That was a classic moment.

      They are!

      • 71 PorterGirl June 17, 2014 at 18:20

        I suppose you must be right about the club. I wonder how he sings all night?

        Ah Smiles – if only we could help him!

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:36

        Yes, I’d imagine it would get taxing, don’t you suppose?

        Well, what would you do?

      • 73 PorterGirl June 18, 2014 at 13:17

        To help Smiles I would adopt him for a while. I think the English country air and my home cooking would help. Also, if he cried out in the night I would go to him. That would make him feel much better.

        Singing all night would be exhausting! I hope he got some food while he was performing, singing is hungry work!

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 16:57

        Aw, that’s so nice of you! And I think it would work to. It’s a pity it hasn’t been done for him, really. All I can think to do is hit him about the head–which, I know, is quite wrong.

        I think he cared more about his drink!

      • 75 PorterGirl June 18, 2014 at 17:07

        Hitting people round the head is usually an excellent course of action, but when it doesn’t work another tact is required. I feel kind of warmly towards Smiles for some reason!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:23

        I know! And I’m quite happy that you do. I think it’s what he needs. I’ll bring him over sometime.

      • 77 PorterGirl June 18, 2014 at 17:25

        Please do. If he is too much trouble I will lock him in the shed and we can go punting or something.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:43

        *laughing* You’d probably do wonders for him!

  12. 79 walt walker June 17, 2014 at 13:14

    Professor (if I may call you that) my favorite PL moments usually involve dadblamerous conversation, and that was a special bit of the most dadblameroust, right there!

    I do find it impossible though to read Smiles’ dialogue without reading his name as a verb, which adds a special something. A twist, if you will. Like a twist of lemon. That smiles.

    • 80 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 17:34

      You definitely may, Walt! (Any hash-up of the name Professor VJ Duke is fine. Nicknames are fine too. I’m really not particular on the matter.) It was dadblamerous. I think, Walt, you’re the person who first said “dadblamerous” you know.

      *laughing* I see what you mean… I think you like the chap overall.

      • 81 walt walker June 17, 2014 at 19:00

        Was I? Well, that’s quite an honor!

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:36

        The honor is all mind, I assure you! *bows*

      • 83 walt walker June 20, 2014 at 01:35

        Any hash-up, eh? How about Osserfrop? Same great letters, different order.

        Makes you sound like magical beast, even. “…And just as Alice and her thinker were wrapping up their thinking, the Osserfrop came bouncing along, feet planted firmly in the bottom of his top hat, hands holding tightly to the brim…”

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:26

        *laughing* Osserfrop…I love the name, you know. But, do you suppose the top hat might break?

      • 85 walt walker June 20, 2014 at 15:24

        Not if it’s made of proper hatter’s plush.

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 19:53

        Now I’ve never heard of that.

      • 87 walt walker June 20, 2014 at 23:05

        Oh yes, only the finest. I like mine “nipped in.”

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2014 at 16:24

        Ooo, what’s it mean, Walt?

      • 89 walt walker June 21, 2014 at 18:19

        Wider around the top. Osserfrop, you really must study up on these things if you are going to wear one round town.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:10

        *laughing lots* I love that name dearly. Don’t you?

      • 91 walt walker June 22, 2014 at 23:54

        It’s a good’un.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke June 23, 2014 at 13:32

        *bows*

  13. 93 FictionFan June 17, 2014 at 13:02

    Ooh, that was so noir! You could just imagine Humphrey Bogart and Frank Sinatra delivering those lines! And the bit about the babies was…ooh, deliciously horrid! Spine-tingling – I heard the hibernating fretful porpentine rustle in its box…

    It’s not often you’ll hear me say this, but I think Manly-Man took exactly the right course of action…

    • 94 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 13:04

      *laughing lots* Noir… Yes! You’re right on. Too bad they weren’t smoking, huh? That would have fit nicely. Punchy Lands Horror. That’s a wonder. But I see what you mean. Of all the characters (even the evil ones like Zez and Dr. Z) those two are probably the scariest.

      Haha! I think he did too. Are you growing fonder of MM?

      • 95 FictionFan June 17, 2014 at 13:11

        Yes, they should have been smoking…and Lauren Bacall should have been singing huskily in the background. It’s the creepy insanity that causes those two to be so frightening…no offense intended!

        Hmm – he has his moments, and my attitude has been softened a little by the way he clings on to his role as Manly-Worf…

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke June 17, 2014 at 17:33

        No offense taken! I say Lauren Bacall’s husky sining is just as frightening, though. It scares the professor!

        Full cast this week!

      • 97 FictionFan June 17, 2014 at 20:31

        Haha! I was really more concerned about offending any creepily insane people who might be reading…but I can see where the confusion arose… *cheeky face*

        Woohoo! Planet, ship and DS’s ship? And Hideous? Betcha my Schwarzy still steals the show…

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:41

        Ha! You…well, aren’t I creepily insane?

        You might not think so…it really depends. Put a few of your favorites in it.

      • 99 FictionFan June 18, 2014 at 15:22

        No, no, no! The Professor is not creepy…!

        Well…it’s possible Hideous could match him maybe, but I doubt it – nobody beeps like my Schwarzy. Yay-hay! You are far too good to me! *smiles wider than Woola*

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:11

        Aw, that’s nice of you to say.

        And it’s really my pleasure!

      • 101 FictionFan June 18, 2014 at 19:44

        You notice that I didn’t deny your insanity though…

        And mine!! (I may not be around till later again tomorrow though – so I’ll have to contain my impatience even longer than usual…)

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:13

        Should I be insulted? Happy? Or cranky?

        It will be here when you arrive! FEF is busy!

      • 103 FictionFan June 19, 2014 at 16:36

        Yes, I think so.

        Temporarily busy! And it was more than worth the wait! *smiles ginormously*

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:29

        *bows and keeps his hat on*

    • 105 Symphonist Sepperl June 17, 2014 at 13:28

      Well wouldn’t you say Frankie’s surname initial is suggestive of something?

      • 106 FictionFan June 17, 2014 at 13:31

        Haha! Well, now you point it out, I do see a certain hint of a suggestion. You can always rely on me to miss the obvious…


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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
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