Five Things About The Professor

Well, yes. It’s exactly what the title says. Let’s get started.

1. I took this picture after fighting some vicious aliens.

www_PicsDesktop_com_138

2. The professor’s favorite color is red, though I hardly get to wear it.

3. Alb and I have never sat in this room. Therefore, this picture is a lie.

seat

4. Nick (Nicholas Warren) wants to swim again; he hasn’t done it “for so long…” This is technically cheating, since it’s not about me, but when you’re as uninteresting as the professor, you must improvise.

Point To Keep In Mind: Cheating and improvising are closely related.

5. My favorite movie (at this second-long moment) is It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.

Mad_World_Anniversary

I fear one of these may have been a lie. Do you know which it is? (#3 doesn’t count, since I said it was a lie.)

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243 Responses to “Five Things About The Professor”


  1. 1 Me, Myself and DIY June 23, 2014 at 12:41

    Whew. Well, I’m back and trying to catch up. I’d guess #1 is the lie because frankly – unless you are on some type of space ship I’m not familiar with – there’s no way you took that picture. Regardless of fighting with aliens. Soooooooo that’s my answer and I’m sticking to it! :)

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke June 23, 2014 at 13:41

      *laughing* Rats! And you’re supposed to believe the professor is a warrior, too! (Welcome back, btw!!!) Aliens are hard to fight, you know.

      • 3 Me, Myself and DIY June 23, 2014 at 15:39

        I can’t even imagine! LOL

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 00:14

        Don’t you think the professor is a type of alien?

      • 5 Me, Myself and DIY June 24, 2014 at 00:41

        Honestly, I’m not sure what the Professor is exactly. I’m hoping you aren’t an alien.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 13:44

        Yes, me too. But I still think it could be great.

  2. 7 Susan P June 21, 2014 at 17:16

    Well, this is what I think:

    Mr. See owned a saw.
    And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
    Now, See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw
    Before Soar saw See,
    Which made Soar sore.
    Had Soar seen See’s saw
    Before See sawed Soar’s seesaw,
    See’s saw would not have sawed
    Soar’s seesaw.
    So See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw.
    But it was sad to see Soar so sore
    just because See’s saw sawed
    Soar’s seesaw.

    http://www.fun-with-words.com/tongue_twisters.html

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:10

      Wow… I can’t say it; I’ve tried, and failed. But what’s it mean exactly?

      • 9 Susan P June 22, 2014 at 19:35

        Ah! What a question that is!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke June 23, 2014 at 13:30

        *grumbles about fairness*

      • 11 Susan P June 23, 2014 at 15:22

        “All is fair in love and war.” Or so my mother used to say.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 00:13

        “Love is the same as war only the kisses hurt.”

      • 13 Susan P June 24, 2014 at 01:13

        Love is painful.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 13:47

        Love is no good.

      • 15 Susan P June 24, 2014 at 14:20

        Well, it is definitely painful. But life is pain. Now that sounds pessimistic, but I just think it is realistic. It’s not always pain, but it can surely create a fair amount of it.

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 11:58

        What an interest…a scary interest!

      • 17 Susan P June 25, 2014 at 12:11

        It isn’t always, you know. The rainbow always shows up after the rains.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 12:17

        That’s true. But I usually miss it!

      • 19 Susan P June 25, 2014 at 12:21

        Is that a choice?

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 15:39

        Umm…what a vexing question!

      • 21 Susan P June 26, 2014 at 01:07

        We all have those days. Else how could I know if it is or not a choice :)

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2014 at 16:23

        Because Susan knows all.

      • 23 Susan P June 26, 2014 at 23:25

        Susan doesn’t know nuttin’.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke June 27, 2014 at 13:21

        Oh dear.

      • 25 Susan P June 27, 2014 at 13:39

        *innocent look while whistling*

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke June 27, 2014 at 20:58

        *taps foot like a cranky professor*

      • 27 Susan P June 28, 2014 at 20:35

        Be careful; foot tapping inevitably turns into square dancing.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 12:43

        Not for the professor it doesn’t!

      • 29 Susan P July 1, 2014 at 16:23

        You can’t ever know if you don’t try.

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:53

        I’d die, probably.

      • 31 Susan P July 2, 2014 at 01:07

        I doubt it. Now, if you dance with a dragon, you might die.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke July 2, 2014 at 13:39

        But I wouldn’t do it!

      • 33 Susan P July 2, 2014 at 16:57

        That is probably a good thing for safety’s sake.

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke July 2, 2014 at 21:58

        But we don’t care about his sake!

      • 35 Susan P July 3, 2014 at 01:10

        Then by all means let’ er rip.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke July 3, 2014 at 20:24

        Sweet!

  3. 37 The Dancing Rider June 19, 2014 at 21:06

    Wow. I’m not sure if it would be #1 (which is probably true), #2, or #5…..need help.

    • 38 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:18

      Well…it’s actually #1. How’s this effect my warrior spirit?

      • 39 The Dancing Rider June 20, 2014 at 13:29

        Oh my. You mean you didn’t actually fight aliens?!

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:31

        Well…welly…not this time!

  4. 41 L. Marie June 19, 2014 at 13:34

    Nice to know more about you! My favorite color is red also. I guess we can both like that color, though I saw it first!
    I wonder if we fought the same aliens. . . .
    I remember watching It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World on television.

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:17

      You saw if first? What’s that mean, madam?!

      Do you fight aliens? It’s a fun pastime.

      Wasn’t it stellar?

  5. 43 Hazy June 18, 2014 at 22:41

    What did the aliens look like? Were they frightened by the katana?

    I think #3 is a lie because you said it is a lie but might not be a lie, just said to be a lie. So #3 is not a lie that you said to be a lie. So you might be lying about #3.

    • 44 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:20

      Not at first, but once I started using it–yes! They were longish…you know?

      *laughing lots* I’m outthought! That’s really brilliant of you, you know!

      • 45 Hazy June 22, 2014 at 13:08

        Ha! I bet they were. Weatherly says you are skilled with the katana. Longish? Like tall and spindly? Were they green?

        *curtsys* Thank you! Is it? The hazy mind is known to have brilliant thoughts occasionally. *laughs*

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:23

        Aw, Weatherly honors me! Yes, that’s it: tall and spindly. Some were yellow and some were green!

        *bows* All the time, I think!

  6. 47 Angeline M June 18, 2014 at 21:43

    I say #1 is the lie because “cheating and improvising are closely related”.

    • 48 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:18

      Ooo! Interesting point. But…don’t you think I could fight aliens?

  7. 49 Simply Skeptical June 18, 2014 at 20:40

    Fighting vicious aliens may not be the whole truth, nice photo though. Mad, Mad, Mad, World pales in comparison to the Punchy Land’s World (laughing). Does Nick Warren really swim? Now in this heat is the time for it. Thank you for the giggles once again!!

    • 50 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:17

      Well, don’t you think I can fight aliens? Wowawee!!! I’m seriously honored! MMMMW is a great comedy movie!

      My pleasure, and I think Nick does. You should ask him on his page!

  8. 51 John W. Howell June 18, 2014 at 18:48

    I think number five. Can’t imagine the professor choosing IAMMW as THE favorite.

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:57

      Doesn’t it make some professorish sense, though?

      • 53 John W. Howell June 19, 2014 at 12:42

        Along the lines of Mad Men as THE favorite TV show? I guess it would.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:55

        You know, I’ve never seen that. Does that surprise you?

      • 55 John W. Howell June 19, 2014 at 12:59

        Whoa yeah!

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:07

        Yes, I wonder what to make of it.

      • 57 John W. Howell June 19, 2014 at 21:04

        Summer Netflix assignment.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:18

        Oh dear. What’s Netflix?

      • 59 John W. Howell June 20, 2014 at 13:28

        Shoot me in the face.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:31

        Professor promise! Now you must tell me.

      • 61 John W. Howell June 20, 2014 at 20:27

        A streaming service that gives you TV series and movies right into your TV set. You have internet. you may have an internet capable TV or DVR player. If so you can sign up.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2014 at 16:17

        Aha! I think I have heard of this. I’m just so very, very, very, very old, you know.

      • 63 John W. Howell June 21, 2014 at 18:53

        No older than me.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:11

        The professor is older than the mountains, it’s said.

      • 65 John W. Howell June 22, 2014 at 23:20

        I was there to watch the mountains being made.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke June 23, 2014 at 13:31

        *laughing* Rats and a Heifer! That’s not…fair.

  9. 67 desertdweller29 June 18, 2014 at 17:52

    Have you read Slaughterhouse-Five, Professor? You’re first confession sounds a lot like the tale of Billy Pilgrim. You may appreciate Kurt Vonnegut’s style as much as I did. Not a beach read, though… But why on earth can’t you wear red? Is it an extraterrestrial color? I’m waiting for the day you reveal your age, as uncouth as it may sound. I have all sorts of ideas, but the problem is, it’s a fifty year span, so I believe I lack deductive reasoning.

    • 68 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:49

      I have not! Should I read it? Now Vonnegut is a great name, don’t you think?

      Well…isn’t red…well bright? I mean, would it look good on the professor?

      How old do you suppose me?

      • 69 desertdweller29 June 19, 2014 at 13:11

        I think you should, Professor. Give it a go! It’s quite literary and a tad bizarre (anti-war), but lyrical with a dose of science fiction. He uses dadblamery, I believe. Anyway, I shall not be offended if you don’t like it and it ends up on your Punchy Lands dadblamery book reviews like The Alchemist. :)

        Regarding red… I don’t know your coloring, but stay away from red if you’re pale, have red hair or have anger issues. Or if you hang around bulls all day.

        Okay… I will take a stab at your age being 31. I believe that is how many pull ups you said you were able to do?? Am I close?

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:16

        Dadblamery! He uses it? How fascinating. That’s a good point. Don’t you think The Alchemist deserve it?

        Well, then, I should be safe to wear it!

        That’s about the pull-up number, yes. Close…umm…can I answer that?

  10. 71 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 18, 2014 at 17:03

    I’m not going to answer you. This is dadblamery at its finest, Duke.

    Laughable. ..but so totally unfair.

    ( I know you like red. I think you literally took this picture from some website after fighting with people you consider not from this world, obviously. You and Alb are sitting in that room…I see your names right there… You and Nick are far to similar and should both go for a swim. The movie is a lie. (But I think it is your fav at the moment. You’re just that unpredictable. )
    *fingers crossed*

    • 72 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:22

      *laughing lots* I’m sorry! But I wasn’t supposed to feel apologetic. How’d you do that to me?

      Well, Audith, yes, I think you got it. I mean, I’d like to go for a swim, but I like to be one of a few in the pool, if you kno what I mean. Sadly, I never got to sit in that comfy green chair. I’m blaming Nick. And I do love that movie! Do you?

      • 73 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 18, 2014 at 19:24

        Hahaha!! I have no idea. I think you have a guilty conscious, Duketh. *laughing harder*

        Did I really? Yes! How big of a pool….? It is a nice chair….! Poor Nick. I’m feeling very proud of myself, you know. Never seen it…

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:09

        I do! A horrible one…

        I’m in it. Huge! The bigger the pool the better, don’t you think? Don’t feel bad for the evil Nick! You should be proud.

      • 75 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 19, 2014 at 04:49

        Giggle…! Sometimes I think you think its easier to agree with me. This was a very fun post, Duke. *sparkles brightly*

        You’re in what? I do think a big pool is nice. I feel like someone should feel bad for Nick. You’re so mean to him. *balls up this paper and throws it at you*

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:53

        Many thanks! And, no, I’m a vicious brute. I don’t agree easily…maybe. There, that last sentence is an Audith sentence!

        Mad World! At least, I think so.

        Now, now! No paper throwing. Or…or…I’ll tell Nick!

      • 77 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 19, 2014 at 16:55

        Vicious brute…maybe.. *laughs* Your last sentence or mine?

        Which one are you?

        Nick might help me throw paper at you.

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:33

        Yours!

        Umm…the police guy.

        He probably would!

      • 79 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 20, 2014 at 03:22

        Tell me what that means!!

        I have to watch the movie to see who that is, I suppose.

        *laughs*

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:29

        Well, that sentence up there I end in “maybe” just reminds me of an Audith sentence.

        Spencer Tracy!

      • 81 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 20, 2014 at 16:58

        Yes, it is an Audith sentence. I can’t help it, you know.

        Spencer Tracy…how in what way! Tell me…

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 20:01

        Well, I’m 20 years his senior. Okay, the professor is not even close to ST. However, if I was in the movie, I would have taken the money, sorta like he did.

      • 83 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 21, 2014 at 04:40

        You are not, Duke! Really. . Now I must watch this movie soon!

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2014 at 16:26

        *laughing* I’m older than Moses… It’s a good one!

      • 85 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 22, 2014 at 00:06

        Some day you’re going to tell me. I happen to like Moses, you know! He is an inspiration of mine…of sorts. Him thinking he didn’t have the words to convience…same with me. My favorite verses, actually. I even have them on my blog. A great reminder.

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:18

        I know you do! *proud face* And I’ve read the verse you have there, too. *another proud face* Not having the words…I definitely identify with that, too–sort of. (Some day, yes!)

      • 87 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 23, 2014 at 03:50

        You do?! You are the best, Duke. Sort of, huh? *wink* I think you always seem to have the right words. (Yes.)

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke June 23, 2014 at 13:36

        Right words…no! It’s a hoax, a sham, a trick, a facade! Everyone is missing the right words in a way.

      • 89 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 23, 2014 at 15:57

        Yes, I really should try to remember that, Duke.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 00:15

        Me too…

      • 91 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 24, 2014 at 05:23

        What a mess!

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 13:51

        Yes, me.

      • 93 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 24, 2014 at 16:08

        Probably, me.

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 12:02

        And me.

      • 95 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 26, 2014 at 06:27

        You? How?

      • 96 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2014 at 16:33

        Oh…a big mess.

      • 97 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister June 26, 2014 at 21:31

        Totally!

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke June 27, 2014 at 13:06

        *laughs*

  11. 99 InfiniteZip June 18, 2014 at 15:59

    It must be the movie…..truly there are better ones out there…palm trees and professors don’t seem to mix….

    • 100 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:15

      Really? Why not, dadblameit?!

      • 101 InfiniteZip June 18, 2014 at 17:39

        Where there are castles, palms won’t grow…..but it takes a suitcase of money to heat the stones:)

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:47

        Oh, I imagine it would. But…you sure you can’t have trees in a castle?

      • 103 InfiniteZip June 19, 2014 at 10:07

        Maybe potted baby palm trees….

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:54

        But why baby? Don’t you want them larger than life?

      • 105 InfiniteZip June 19, 2014 at 16:05

        You would have to have a warm tropical castle…ohhhh..do you?

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:24

        Maybe I do! what do you make of it?

  12. 107 The Reading Girl June 18, 2014 at 15:59

    obviously the first heheh :)
    but I’m sure if you ever went to space you would take great pictures ;)
    oh and you are not boring..you are fun and amusing :D

    • 108 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:15

      Now, Yazmin! That’s not fair. Isn’t it somewhat possible?

      *bows* Many thanks!

      • 109 The Reading Girl June 18, 2014 at 17:18

        hehe i dont know…it could be since you do many interesting things. hehe

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:24

        Well, I know it’s a bit odd. Do you suppose I fought aliens?

      • 111 The Reading Girl June 18, 2014 at 17:46

        hehe :) well yes I suppose…is it awesome fighting them?

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:48

        Yes! Wouldn’t you like to give it a go?

      • 113 The Reading Girl June 19, 2014 at 01:06

        of course! I am a daring person and I would dare to do that :) hehe.
        it would be fun, the reading girl and the professor fighting aliens! hehe :)

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:24

        I know you’re daring! I can tell. I think you’re even more daring than the professor!

        *laughing* Do you think we’d fetch them?

      • 115 The Reading Girl June 19, 2014 at 02:13

        haha :) we would make a pretty good team so I think we would

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:47

        I think we would! We should give it a go sometime!!!

      • 117 The Reading Girl June 19, 2014 at 15:09

        yes..when?

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:20

        Well…what works for you?

      • 119 The Reading Girl June 19, 2014 at 18:49

        haha well actually any day. at night would be better.
        I sound weird dont I? haha

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:17

        Not at all! Ooo, late at night. It’s more spooky then!

  13. 121 artfullyadelie June 18, 2014 at 15:39

    I have to say, that photograph is mighty impressive. If you ever have to fight those aliens again, please take me along! :)

    • 122 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:15

      I definitely would! But do you suppose they might scare you a bit, bits, and little bits? They can be scary. And I’d have to give you a katana.

      • 123 artfullyadelie June 18, 2014 at 18:54

        Oh professor, say no more! I can do wonders with a katana.
        *I haven’t actually used one, but when I imagine it, I can see myself doing some serious damage! :P

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:58

        Wowawee! That’s awesome.

        *laughing* For sure! Don’t you see yourself doing all those flip moves and all that hitting, and leg kicking? I think I see myself that way at times. I didn’t know you were ninja-like!

  14. 125 Julie Harris June 18, 2014 at 15:26

    Uninteresting- you are definitely NOT! Amusing, yes. Your point to keep in mind sounds like a professorish proverb!

    • 126 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:12

      It does! Haha. Now that’s a good point. Amusing…I think I like that lots. *smiles bigly* Isn’t my green chair look spicy?

  15. 127 FictionFan June 18, 2014 at 15:06

    Hmm…tricky! Let’s see…

    1 is obviously true because if you hadn’t beaten the aliens they’d have invaded by now and stolen all the chocolate.

    2 – hmm! I wonder if the deliberate spelling error is a hint? But no, I can see the Professor in a swirling cape lined with red silk and matching red socks so that one must be true.

    3 could easily be a double-bluff. If the Professor and Albuquerque had sat in that room, then the lie could be that that’s a lie…hmm.

    4 may be true about Nick but clearly is untrue about the Professor. However I think that was more the Professor being modest than lying…

    5 – well, the Professor is so fickle that almost every film has probably been his favourite at some point…

    So having donned my deerstalker and smoked three pipes, I say that 3 is the lie – the Professor and Albuthingy have sat in that room!

    Is the prize chocolate?

    • 128 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:10

      1. *laughing* Oh, these aliens like worms best.

      2. But I don’t have a red cape. And that wouldn’t be manly. Maybe a black one?

      3. Yes, doesn’t it look like a beaten up room, too?

      4. Why clearly about the professor? Hmm…that might be disheartening. How was it modest, too?

      5. That’s not true…but it has changed considerably. I’d like to see John Carter now.

      *shocked face* Alb…will be so mad! I’m going to be in big trouble. Hope he doesn’t see it. I’m dead, you know. You’ve killed me! Though the deerstalker cap is of interest, as well as the smoking of the herbal pipes.

      The aliens took it all!

      • 129 FictionFan June 18, 2014 at 19:40

        1. Do they? Oh, that’s OK – they’re welcome to invade then. Pity you killed them really.

        2. A black cape with a red silk lining. I don’t want to lower the tone at all, but that wouldn’t just be manly – it would be sexy!! With a matching red silk lining to your top hat – cor blimey! (I’m sorry – I think I need an ice lolly!)

        3. It does a bit – but at least there is one comfy chair. Lucky the Professor got it, huh?

        4. ‘Tis both modest and untrue that the Professor is uninteresting. Bewildering, yes, but never dull

        5. I would too, maybe, but only if the Professor and I watched it together. When you’re visiting your castle perhaps.

        *equally shocked face* My pipes were not herbal!! Well if Albuthingy insists on have an unspellable name he deserves all he gets! I’m sorry if it leads to your untimely death though – that would be a pity.

        One can’t help but notice that one seems to be no further forwards towards knowing which is the Professorial lie…

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:12

        1. Huff-Hum!

        2. I’m being laughed to scorn! Cor blimey…it was all worth it, though, to hear that. What’s it mean exactly? It’s a different language!

        3. Yes! I fight for such things, you know.

        4. Bewildering…like a snail.

        5. That would be such fun! You’d probably hate it, and I’d love it, though.

        I was just guessing, because you liked them or something like that. I know! Alb’s name is horrid to spell. I always have to look it up. Just call him Helios.

        Would you like me to tell you?

      • 131 FictionFan June 19, 2014 at 16:34

        Would I laugh my C-W-W to scorn? It means much the same as ‘Lor’ Love a Duck’ really. Does that help?

        Poor Albugurgle!

        *laughing* Yes! Exactly like a snail!

        But I’d get so much fun from watching you love it, and you’d get to laugh me to scorn for hating it, so it would be great!

        Tchah! Libel! Slander! Or something! Helios eh? I hadn’t realised Albybaby was a Greek God… *considers swooning*

        Well, the thing is, it’s nice of you to offer and all that, but quite honestly, when the Professor tells me things it usually just adds to my general sense of befuddlement…

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:28

        Yes! No, not at all. I’m scratching my head a few times.

        His names are getting better and better! I like Albybaby best, though.

        Then we’d watch HP and things would switch around, maybe!

        Just being wicked, tis all. Yes, the sun god. Rather interesting, isn’t it?

        There you are then. #1 is the ticket, though. That was as straightforward as I could make it.

      • 133 FictionFan June 19, 2014 at 22:51

        Oh, I thought that would have cleared everything up…

        D’you think so? I quite like Albuturkey.

        Maybe…or maybe you’d like it!?!

        It is – is there a reason? Or is he just big, round, yellow and hot?

        No, that can’t be right – we all know you’re the only one who could have defeated the aliens. It must be that your favourite colour is pink.

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:23

        It didn’t! *begins to tap foot impatiently* You don’t want me to get this amputated, do you?

        Well, he’d hate that one the most–but go with it!

        Uhh…no! Does BUS like her own movies?

        There is a reason! But it goes back, back, back in time. Before…well, before the PL as you know it.

        Pink? No! I wouldn’t be caught dead in pink. Not even one of those dress shirts! Yucketh.

      • 135 FictionFan June 20, 2014 at 16:10

        *laughing loads and loads* Oh, don’t get so hopping mad! Well, in this context, it means much the same as “Phwoaaaarrrrrr!” See?

        But the question is…does he exist? Or is he in fact…AlbuMic?

        How could you be sure till you tried? Yes, she does! Even more than FF does, in fact.

        I don’t believe there was a time before the PL existed – the whole universe would have been a grey and lifeless void.

        I give up then! The lie must be that there is no lie!

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 19:56

        You purposefully making me look dull! *thinks about running away*

        Oh, he exists. You’d laugh, actually, if you knew.

        *shocked face* I need to have a talk with BUS about that! Well…’cause Harry’s funny looking!

        Before the PL blog existed, I mean.

        The lie is the professor! Wow. That was big.

      • 137 FictionFan June 20, 2014 at 22:28

        My C-W-W dull?? ‘Tis as likely that the sun would cease to shine or the stars to twinkle! But…if you run away, who shall I give all these cashews to?

        Then if you don’t tell me, you will be directly responsible for me not laughing…

        But he doesn’t wear a baseball cap.

        Oh I don’t want to remember those dark days!

        *mega-shocked and gobsmacked face* Wow! That WAS big!! But…if the Professor is a lie, then who have I been talking to for the last year???

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke June 21, 2014 at 16:20

        Oh, I’ll stay, then! Are they salted?

        Didn’t you hear his voice?

        Well, everyone knows the professor is funny looking–baseball cap or not! That’s what you were implying, FEF!

        *laughs* It was the Dark Ages.

        Me?

      • 139 FictionFan June 21, 2014 at 23:24

        Good-good! I was thinking chocolate…but if you’d prefer salted, so be it!

        Yes, indeed! But why would that make me laugh? (A typical professorial evasion there…)

        *chuckles* Perhaps I was – just a little. But only because you were so rude about poor Harry! Secretly, I’m well aware that the Professor is not only c&a but also f, and possibly c!

        It was!

        Really?! What a coincidence ‘cos you’ve been talking to me too! Nice to meet you!

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:14

        No! They must be unsalted…please…please…please.

        Well… *kicks the dirt floor and the dirt* I’m speechless.

        What’s his middle name? You are? How so?

        You too! (Do you suppose it’s proper to shake a lady’s hand? I’m always wondering about this.)

      • 141 FictionFan June 23, 2014 at 12:36

        Goodness!! OK!! Keep yer hair on!

        Huff-hum, sir!

        Jellyfish, perhaps, like the Professor. Well, partly because of female intuition and partly because Mic told me…

        (Yes, definitely! Or alternatively give her a huge box of chocolates – they usually like that…)

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke June 23, 2014 at 13:40

        *smiles* I can’t take it off!

        Female intuition…I wonder about that! And Mic wouldn’t say such things. Are you still emailing with him?

        (But I never see ladies shaking each other’s hands when they meet!)

      • 143 FictionFan June 23, 2014 at 17:11

        So glad about that!

        It’s only because females are more highly evolved than males. Yes! All the time! He’s lovely, isn’t it?

        (Yes they do! Unless they’re carrying cake at the time…)

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 00:20

        Yeah… *gurgles*

        Hmm…that’s true. But all they got was a bunch of useless emotions. Lovely? Mic? Haha, fat chance during a hot day in hell!

        (They do not! Ask BUS. I bet she says no! Do you shake BUS’s hand when you see her?)

      • 145 FictionFan June 24, 2014 at 12:57

        That gurgle sounds awfully familiar! I wonder if ZeZ can growl…

        Haha! Sadly, I find I’m almost in agreement with that! But on the upside – no beards! Oooh-er! The Professor is so c&a when he’s jealous!!

        (Well, no, but that’s because she’s my BUS. But I shake hands when I’m introduced to strange women…)

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 14:02

        Hmm, don’t go thinking thing you shouldn’t about such things!

        I love beards. Maybe not. They come back to soon and they tickle. Huff-Hum!

        (You can’t possibly! But how about strange men?)

      • 147 FictionFan June 24, 2014 at 17:09

        Hmm! It sounded very convincing…and the Professor is known to be very wicked…

        Some beards are delightful – Georgie’s, for example. Some aren’t quite so cool – Santa’s springs to mind.

        (I’m rather partial to strange men – hmm! I wonder if that’s why I feel so at home in the Punchy Lands… )

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 12:07

        Yes, very ,very, very, very wicked. The worst kind, actually.

        I agree. That doesn’t count as a beard! Just…roughness or something like that…

        (Rats and a Heifer! Dodging the question you are.)

      • 149 FictionFan June 25, 2014 at 17:01

        Are you sure? I thought it was very, very, very, very, VERY…? But even although the Professor is v. vicked and gurgly, I’m rather hoping he’s not orange…

        Whose? Georgie’s? (I was just about to leap to his defence – keep forgetting he broke my heart…)

        (No, I’m not! I’ve just forgotten what it was!)

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 23:30

        *laughing* Quite right. Is many ‘very’s’ as you like, please. The more the better. I’m not orange. Is that even possible?

        Yes, you should behead him, now.

        It was about shaking hands, I think. But BUS answered it: nowadays it’s the blow kiss.

      • 151 FictionFan June 26, 2014 at 01:49

        Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, (is that enough yet?) very, very, very… It must be possible, since ZeZ is obviously! Huh?

        I think you’re right – pass me the katana, Sir C-W-W!

        Oh, that’s not at all what she said! You can’t gardooble me, you know…

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2014 at 16:24

        *laughs* Perfect! Zez is a gremlin. He and the professor can’t compare, you know.

        *hands the sword to FEF and wonders if she can get it out of the scabbard*

        It is too what she said!

      • 153 FictionFan June 26, 2014 at 22:57

        A gremlin! For some reason, I’ve been thinking he was a goblin! Are you sure he’s not been fooling you?

        *takes the swords, curtseys, and then in one fluid and supremely graceful movement pulls it from the scabbard, swishes it up above her head then slices it down, neatly removing the Professor’s excessive facial hair – and returns it neatly to the scabbard*

        It’s part of what she said – are you a politician???

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke June 27, 2014 at 13:17

        I’m not sure what the difference betwixt the two is. You should explain it to me.

        *laughing lots* I’m impressed truly. But…you almost cut off my head!

        I should be, huh? I’d make a good one. But I’d probably get shot.

      • 155 FictionFan June 29, 2014 at 00:03

        Hmm…I don’t really know. You should get J Freedwoppen to ask Zez.

        That would have been tragic. *whistles*

        You could be a British politician – we don’t usually shoot them, we just throw eggs at them.

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 12:47

        Oh, nobody asks Zez anything. He’s too scary. We’ll just have to think on it for some times.

        I doubt you think so! We’re closing in on ten now.

        And if they’re rotten might be worse!

  16. 157 Debbie June 18, 2014 at 14:54

    Did you miss me yesterday, Professor? I didn’t turn on my laptop ALL DAY!!

    Okay, let’s see. I like your five facts. Red is a great color (not my favorite, but this is about YOU!). Your photo in #1 is lovely, though it’s probably the lie. I mean, you’d have had to be on a spaceship or something to get that kind of angle. Wouldn’t you?? And I like how you gave yourself the fancy, soft chair in #3!!

    • 158 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:08

      I did miss you! Were you taking a holiday?

      Red must be your favorite! Yes, I would…don’t you think there’s a chance it might be real, though?

      Yes! I was wondering if anyone would notice. *laughs* Isn’t that just spicy?

  17. 159 erinkenobi2893 June 18, 2014 at 14:08

    I think it’s number 5. ;-) And no, the professor is not uninteresting! The professor is creative. :-D

    • 160 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:05

      #5! Now why do you think that? Aw, thanks, Erin!

      • 161 erinkenobi2893 June 18, 2014 at 18:18

        Because… well, that’s four or five “mad’s” in one sentence. :-P
        :-) No problem.

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:57

        Have you ever seen the movie?

      • 163 erinkenobi2893 June 19, 2014 at 02:05

        Nope. :-P

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:47

        You know, you might like it…

      • 165 erinkenobi2893 June 19, 2014 at 15:49

        I might. :-P

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:23

        Oh dear…

      • 167 erinkenobi2893 June 19, 2014 at 18:26

        I might not. :-P

  18. 168 PorterGirl June 18, 2014 at 13:28

    These facts are interesting! The photo is very nice, you can tell there has been a battle as there are no aliens to be seen! Red is a good colour, but I’m not sure I believe that it is your favourite. I am sure we spoke about blue once. But a chap can change his mind, I suppose. In number 3 – hey! I can see you in that room in the picture! The lie is the lie – aha! But then – do I believe that Nick really wants to go swimming? Why would be want to do that? Number 5 is a good film – that must be true. Is the lie that there is more than one lie? Or maybe there are no lies? Oh dear, I need a lie down… :)

    • 169 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:02

      *laughing lots* Lucy! Well…the professor isn’t a profuse liar, necessarily, but…

      I do think Red is my favorite–at least, it is now. Well, why do you suppose Nick wouldn’t want to go swimming?

      Oh no, there’s only one, and I do fear it’s #1. Which kinda destroys my warrior reputation, huh?

      • 170 PorterGirl June 18, 2014 at 17:10

        Oh bugger I was really hoping number 1 was true! I’m such a sucker.

        red is a good colour – I wear it a lot, although my favourite colour is blue. But it doesn’t suit me.

        Swimming is hard work. It’s relaxing if done in the sea or a lake, maybe that’s it. I hope Nick gets to fulfill his wish, either way!

        Professor, you will always have a warrior reputation of some kind I am sure. I personally am not swayed by this little untruth.

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:24

        But…but…but…maybe it is!

        Why doesn’t blue suit you? And red…I’m thrilled to hear you wear it about all the time!

        I don’t think I shall let him do it!

        *smiles bigly* Aw, thanks, Lucy! You make me feel swell.

      • 172 PorterGirl June 18, 2014 at 17:29

        But… but… but… Damblamit!!

        Blue just looks wrong, somehow. Dark blue is ok though, phew! But the red seems to go well with my hair. Anyway, I’m sure you’re really not interested in my wardrobe. Apart from the hats, obviously. I have a red bowler hat!

        Poor Nick!

        *smiles even biglyer*

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:46

        *laughing* Hey! Dadblameit!

        Of course I”m interested–in a professorish sort of way. I think I should get some yellow shirts and hats.

        A red bowler! Cool! You should wear it in one of the vids. (I’m waiting patiently, too. *smiles*)

        Nah!

      • 174 PorterGirl June 19, 2014 at 05:21

        Yellow is a good look, very cheerful!

        I know, I know – vids! My actors are in ‘proper’ things at the moment so I have to wait until they are free again, so annoying. Maybe I will have to animate them instead *sigh*

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:54

        *laughing* They’ll be back! (When PorterGirl becomes very, very, very popular you won’t have these type of prelims. However, you’ll have new ones which may be worse. Oh what a pessimist I am.)

      • 176 PorterGirl June 19, 2014 at 14:18

        Ah, but it is so true, Professor! Actors are adorable but so disloyal! Pah. I would replace them if I could! (only joking – just incase they see this!!)

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:18

        *laughing* Tell them I’m cranky! That’d probably make things worse.

      • 178 PorterGirl June 19, 2014 at 18:44

        I may mention that there might be one or two people waiting on them. You never know, it could help!

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:16

        *laughing* Yes, tell them I’ll get really cranky–if you get desperate.

  19. 180 walt walker June 18, 2014 at 13:05

    The first is clearly a lie, as there is no evidence of battle. Alien corpses, detritus, etc.

    You have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool me, Old Sport.

    • 181 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 13:17

      *laughing some lots and lots* I think you got me, Walt. I know there’s no battle…but maybe I spared your eyes the show of it all? It’s quite harsh, how I go about killing.

      • 182 Alastair Savage June 18, 2014 at 14:17

        Whatever you did to them Professor, they deserved it, extra-terrestrial scum. Oh hang on a minute, you don’t actually say who you were fighting with. …
        #3 cannot be the lie. Nobody would make up anything about a word that’s as difficult to spell as Albuquerque.

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:07

        *laughing* No, no, you were right: I was taking out the extraterrestrial scum! Lovely way to put, Mr. Savage.

        I know. He should change his name. What should we call him, do you think?

      • 184 walt walker June 19, 2014 at 01:48

        Oh I don’t doubt it. Your recent transmissions from the green star (I’m assuming you write from your home deep within the green star) have been drenched with violence and bloodshed!

      • 185 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:43

        Oh, that’s right. You see, Walt, I forgot about the green star since I live inside it. I do write from home. And that’s the warrior way!

    • 186 laugraeva June 18, 2014 at 14:19

      I agree!

      • 187 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:07

        That the professor is dull?

      • 188 laugraeva June 18, 2014 at 17:09

        No, that your first “fact” is indeed a lie!

      • 189 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:23

        But how’s that possible? I”m a warrior, I tell you!

  20. 190 TheCrazyBagLady June 18, 2014 at 12:55

    i want to see pictures of aliens

    • 191 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 13:16

      Even if they’re scary looking?

      • 192 TheCrazyBagLady June 18, 2014 at 13:24

        I’d hope that they are scary looking! It would be a bonus :)

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:00

        Goodness me! They definitely were. But then you’d think about them all the time. And they might give you nightmares!

      • 194 TheCrazyBagLady June 19, 2014 at 05:00

        That’s certainly true. Best left to our imagination than! ;p

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:53

        Very much so agreed!

  21. 196 MissFourEyes June 18, 2014 at 12:46

    But what if you were lying about lying about #3, professor?! 3, I pick 3.

    • 197 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:52

      *laughing lots* You’ve outsmarted me! Don’t we hold striking images?

  22. 198 bardictale June 18, 2014 at 12:44

    If there was ever a more barefaced lie then saying that the professor is uninteresting, I don’t know what it is. I mean, you’ve fought aliens!

    • 199 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:51

      Aha! Well, thank you, Bard. That’s very nice to say. But are you sure it’s true? Aliens could be boring, you know.

      • 200 bardictale June 18, 2014 at 14:14

        That is true, but the idea itself is interesting. Even if the subjects themselves are a bore.

        Although, different usually equals interesting, so they’d become boring with familiarity.

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 17:06

        Aha! Well, would you say the professor is different?

      • 202 bardictale June 18, 2014 at 20:45

        What do you think?^~

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:18

        No, just dull.

      • 204 bardictale June 19, 2014 at 02:57

        Shame on you. Stop being so uncharitable to yourself.

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:48

        *kicks the dirt* Gee, Bard…

      • 206 bardictale June 19, 2014 at 14:18

        Go apologize to yourself.

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:18

        I can’t do it, Bard!

      • 208 bardictale June 19, 2014 at 21:13

        And why not?

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 13:19

        Because I’m too prideful.

      • 210 bardictale June 20, 2014 at 17:39

        That’s not a good reason, my friend. You must apologize for the harm that you caused.

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke June 20, 2014 at 20:02

        Can you apologize for me?

      • 212 bardictale June 22, 2014 at 02:23

        No. It misses the point.
        You can do it- I believe in you.

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke June 22, 2014 at 19:20

        When must it be done?

      • 214 bardictale June 22, 2014 at 22:24

        Yesterday. You are late.

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke June 23, 2014 at 13:31

        Well, then, let’s forget about it.

      • 216 bardictale June 23, 2014 at 20:48

        Absolutely not! Stop trying to weasel out of it, professor. You don’t make a good weasel.

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 00:24

        How do you know?!

      • 218 bardictale June 24, 2014 at 02:02

        Because I’m a bard, and I’m your friend.
        Unless I’m not, in which case the first part of the sentence stands on it’s merry own.
        What do you think Smiles Riot would say?

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke June 24, 2014 at 13:49

        He would say something about a baby, sir.

      • 220 bardictale June 24, 2014 at 15:13

        So he agrees with me. Go apologize.

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 12:00

        Okay, I’ll do it, dadblameit!

      • 222 bardictale June 25, 2014 at 15:36

        Wonderful^^

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke June 25, 2014 at 15:49

        In about a week.

      • 224 bardictale June 26, 2014 at 03:22

        Well, a Mercury week passed, so get to it.

      • 225 Professor VJ Duke June 26, 2014 at 16:31

        Really?

      • 226 bardictale June 28, 2014 at 21:18

        Just do it…or I’ll start crying, and I won’t offer tea any more.

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 12:44

        Okay, Bard, I did it!

      • 228 bardictale June 30, 2014 at 16:34

        Proud of you, sir^^ what confectionary would you like?

      • 229 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:19

        Oh, a treat! How about a muffin?

  23. 230 Lisa June 18, 2014 at 12:40

    You’re favorite color is red? :p

    • 231 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 12:51

      Yes it is! Why? Is it not a professorish one?

      • 232 Lisa June 18, 2014 at 12:55

        Hahaha! It’s just that I know the alien one is true. I mean you took a picture to prove it.

      • 233 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 13:15

        *laughing lots* But…but…what if I designed the picture? (What do you suppose my favorite color is. Of course, pink is unacceptable.)

      • 234 Lisa June 18, 2014 at 13:18

        I know the lie! It’s that you don’t get to wear it often!

      • 235 Professor VJ Duke June 18, 2014 at 16:58

        Haha. But boys can’t wear red, can they?

      • 236 Lisa June 18, 2014 at 17:48

        Oh nah! You can where whatever color you want. My favorite color is blue and I’m a girl. :)

      • 237 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 00:48

        Well, dadblameit, then! But I can’t wear pink for sure, right?

      • 238 Lisa June 19, 2014 at 00:59

        Does it clash with your complexion? :)

      • 239 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 01:24

        Well, how can I tell for sure?

      • 240 Lisa June 19, 2014 at 12:02

        If you’re going to wear pink then you have to wear it. You can’t be mousy or shy about it. You have own it. You have to be like this is my color and no one can tell me different. That’s the only way to wear pink I think. I believe confidence is the accessory. Confidence goes well with all colors. :)

      • 241 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 12:55

        Lisa, I think that’s exactly right–for ladies! Men can’t wear pink no matter what. It’s a rule of life, you know.

      • 242 Lisa June 19, 2014 at 13:09

        LOL! Well thank you, Professor I shall remember that and if anyone tells me otherwise, I shall say, “Well take it up with Professor VJ Duke!” ;)

      • 243 Professor VJ Duke June 19, 2014 at 18:15

        Yes, yes! It’s a professorish thought for sure. I”m ready to battle about it, I think!


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Punchy Argot:

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