PL Reporter—9thE

PL Reporter

9th Edition
30 2014

~~~

Segment A
Punchy Proverbs

PP's

1. Birds don’t sing, they chirp—like the professor. ~ Professor VJ Duke

2. Don’t wait of the excuses; it will only degrade your intelligence. ~ Lucini Pavarinni

3. Cooking is a fine art—an art I’ve learned well. ~ Ruber Salami

Favorites, PF? My proverb just happened, you see. Really don’t think I can explain it away.

~~~

Segment B
Severe Weather Report

weather

Weather tip: If you are in the direct path of a tornado, resign yourself, and enjoy the ride.

~~~

Segment C
Featured Story: Nowhere Interview
by J. Freedwoppen

“The problem with the land,” Mr. Magi explained to me last week, “is that no one cares about the little things.”

“The little things?”

“Yes,” Mr. Magi said, nodding. “Take Manly-Man for instance. He’s very destructive, but he wasn’t always that way. He has no respect for the little things.”

“What do you mean by ‘the little things’?”

“Well, take Daddy Salami for example. He’s very destructive—some say even more so than Manly-Man.”

This conversation went on for another hour.

Truly, I’ve interviewed many people, and this is the only interview that I’ve had that went nowhere.

~~~

Segment D
MicP Studios—Behind the Scenes
by Nicholas Warren

Professor VJ Duke: Sadly, Nick skipped out on his duties this week. He didn’t even give me a reason. We should complain.

~~~

Segment E
A Conversation

DADDY SALAMI: Ruber, how do ya make chicken soup?
RUBER SALAMI: It all starts with a raw chicken. You boil that for a while.
DADDY SALAMI: Don’t ya have to cut it up?
RUBER SALAMI: Of course. Otherwise it wouldn’t fit in the pot. *laughing*
DADDY SALAMI: Don’t make fun of your daddy, or I’ll cook your brain!

~~~

COMPLAINTS for Nicholas Warren? Comment here!
Need more information on any PL topic? Comment below to J. Freedwoppen!
Copyright 2014

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176 Responses to “PL Reporter—9thE”


  1. 1 Nancy Loderick July 1, 2014 at 19:27

    Hey Professor,

    Your wisdom and wit never cease to amaze me. They always put a big smile on my face. :)

    Nancy

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:55

      Nancy! Hi! That seriously means a lot to me, truly! *smiles bigly hiself* How are you doing?

  2. 3 Hazy July 1, 2014 at 13:29

    Ah, so the professor chirps? Worth hearing, I think. On a somewhat related note, I suddenly wonder why it’s Twitter, but Tweets not Twits… then it should have been Tweeter?

    Hmm… skipped duty… Maybe Nick was sleeping on the comfy couch while on the job! (or maybe not?)

    Salami brain soup… doesn’t sound appetizing at all, now does it? Yuckers.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:12

      Well… *laughs* At least, I think I do. What does it sound like, I wonder? Good point! I’ve thought this often. It’s like Tock from Phantom Tollbooth, if you’re familiar with that book.

      Yes! Probably was. What should be done to him, do you think?

      Yuckers indeed! *laughs* I love that word.

      • 5 Hazy July 2, 2014 at 11:40

        The professor’s chirp? I imagine it would sound a bit like… “chirpeth, chirpeth” maybe. Ah, I’ve heard of that book. It sounds like a fun one! Do you think I should ask Weatherly to look for it?

        Aha! Hmm… Maybe put some kind of coloring on the pillows/couch so you can *see* if he slept. But then maybe everyone will have the coloring if they sit…Maybe a nanny cam or something? *laughs*

        Nice ring to it, doesn’t it? *highfives*

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke July 2, 2014 at 13:48

        *laughing* That’s it exactly! Well, yes, I do think you’d like it. And you should probably read it to Weatherly as well. (That’s just if you come upon it. Don’t want to make you get too many books!)

        *laughing lots* And you know, I’d be the one to sit in it–accidentally! A nanny cam…I should get a few of those, you know.

        It’s beautiful! *highfives*

      • 7 Hazy July 3, 2014 at 13:02

        Great idea! I’ll keep my eyes open around the bookstores.

        *laughs* Do you sometimes have absentminded moments too? I can be a bit clumsy. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Will you put the cams around the studio?

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke July 3, 2014 at 20:36

        Yes!

        All the time! Yes, I think so. That way I can keep taps on things when I”m not there!

      • 9 Hazy July 8, 2014 at 13:57

        Excellent! I wonder who you’ll catch on camera, and what kind of shenanigans they do when you aren’t around *laughs*

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2014 at 16:08

        Probably loaf all about. Ruining my couch. And probably Alb.

      • 11 Hazy July 9, 2014 at 12:10

        Oh noes! Not the comfy couch! Do you think Alb might be sleeping on the job too, like Nick?

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2014 at 13:35

        *laughs* Yes, I do! I’ll put them in jail or something.

      • 13 Hazy July 11, 2014 at 12:00

        Alb and Nick would not like that, I’m sure… So go do it!!! *laughs* A holding cell in your basement, perhaps? (does the studio have a basement?)

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke July 11, 2014 at 13:06

        It has a lower level…I think. But I don’t have a cell in it! We should get one.

      • 15 Hazy July 17, 2014 at 13:57

        Oh, I wonder what the lower level looks like. Do you think a two cells would fit in?

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2014 at 15:02

        Some renovation would have to be in order…but it would be cool!

      • 17 Hazy July 18, 2014 at 11:52

        I bet it would! Do you plan on building them?

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke July 18, 2014 at 13:04

        I’ll have to ask the studio…but I should keep them a secret, too… Dadblameit!

  3. 19 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 1, 2014 at 02:02

    Duke, I want to like your proverb, but, well…birds do both.
    #3 is my favorite. I love an apron and I love to cook and I won’t hide it.

    I couldn’t agree more. Enjoy that ride. Wait what am I saying… been there done that. It is a scary moment.

    I’m with Mr. Magi…MM is a little thing… Magi is so smart.

    Adiós, Nick. Nice knowin’ ya… *laughs*

    • 20 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:54

      Well, Ruber will be pleased. And it’s just as well, you know. My proverb was rubbish, as Lucy would say.

      It is. But I’d be singing. *laughs*

      You think Mr. Magi is like the professor?

      You should say something mean and vindictive!

      • 21 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 1, 2014 at 15:25

        It wasn’t rubbish. How rude.

        You sing for a tornado, but not for me. Pfft!

        I don’t know. What are you getting at? Yes, fine. Probably. Of course. Both far too busy for silliness. And my laughing, and my inquisitiveness.

        I’d rather not. You were probably mean to him again…probably.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:47

        It was waste basket material then. Is that better?

        Well, the tornado wouldn’t hear it very well. And maybe the professor did sing…

        Oh no! The professor is never too busy for that, Audith. Promise.

        Oh no. He knocks teeth out, I fear.

      • 23 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 2, 2014 at 04:56

        No. Not better. The proverb was from your mind. It is always worthy of hearing.

        Maybe when??!!!!! Duke! *jumps out of the airplane*

        *sigh* Thank you

        He does?

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke July 2, 2014 at 13:41

        Well, I’m honored–truly!

        Well…you know I can’t say! And don’t jump out of the airplane, unless you have a parachute. *laughs* Or wings. Or a tortoise shell.

        *bows*

        Yes, actually!

      • 25 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 2, 2014 at 14:26

        Good.

        I know you can’t. Or a mini airplane?

        Goodness gracious! *laughs*

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke July 2, 2014 at 21:48

        Hmmm…tempted to take it back.

        Well, yes, that would work, I think.

        Yes…what a humdinger! *laughing*

      • 27 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 3, 2014 at 05:01

        But why? Take back the proverb or your sweet words?

        Good! I need to pull the starter string. Hang on a minute…*starts it like a lawnmower*

        Has he knocked your teeth out?

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke July 3, 2014 at 20:28

        All of it and much more, dadblameit!

        *laughing lots* I hope it…well, works well, Audith.

        Actually, yes! We were involved in a self-defense sorta thing. It was the funniest thing. At least, I was laughing, he thought I was crazy. But all’s well now.

      • 29 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 4, 2014 at 04:08

        Oh, come on!

        I think this was a bad idea. *laughing*

        I would’ve loved to have seen it! *smiles*

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke July 4, 2014 at 17:41

        Well…maybe I’ll be sweeter.

        Yes, me too… Oh dear.

        You would not have!

      • 31 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 4, 2014 at 19:38

        ….doesn’t believe you.

        But I seem to be flying just fine, Duke.

        Oh! I would have. You don’t believe me.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke July 6, 2014 at 18:12

        Good man!

        You do. I’m impressed. And enjoying myself.

        I really don’t…no!

      • 33 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 6, 2014 at 21:57

        Man…! *frowns*

        Watch this.. *flies into a cave*

        Fine!

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke July 7, 2014 at 12:46

        Ooops. Sorry.

        There’s bats in here.

      • 35 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 7, 2014 at 16:02

        Leaves you there and flies away.

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke July 7, 2014 at 16:50

        *shoots Audith down*

      • 37 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 8, 2014 at 05:23

        *laughs as the bullet bounces off her protection and gives an evil snort*

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2014 at 12:29

        Rats!

      • 39 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 8, 2014 at 14:04

        No Heifer?

      • 40 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2014 at 16:14

        Not always, you know.

      • 41 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 8, 2014 at 23:17

        Aren’t you proud of my protection?

      • 42 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2014 at 13:27

        Yes, I am!

      • 43 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 9, 2014 at 15:41

        Too late now..

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2014 at 22:51

        I don’t see why…

      • 45 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 10, 2014 at 01:20

        Because the moment passed by, Duke.

      • 46 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2014 at 11:54

        Moments don’t run that quickly.

      • 47 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 10, 2014 at 16:58

        You’re so pushy, you know! *laughs*
        (I just like knowing something about you that no one else knows. Happy now??)

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2014 at 18:09

        Very happy, yes! That’s what I thought. Had some coffee today. I was out talking with a classical guitar chap. Can’t say I like it anymore.

      • 49 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 10, 2014 at 23:22

        Then why did you make me say it, Duke? *glows bright red* You did? *smiles* It isn’t something I can drink in the summertime. I prefer ice tea. A classical guitar chap? I hope you enjoyed your conversation. (Thank you)

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke July 11, 2014 at 12:56

        Oh, don’t be embarrassed! Be like the professor: utterly shameless! Are you better now?

        Yes, I don’t know. It’s so tart! I should have had ice tea. It was the first time I’ve had Starbucks coffee, so I wanted to try it. It was a great conversation! Thank you. (Why?)

      • 51 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 11, 2014 at 22:30

        You’re not shameless near enough! Yes, I suppose I do…not sure.

        You should never drink Starbucks black coffee. It is horrid, Duke. Just horrid. If you have to drink coffee there drink something flavored. Good, I’m glad. (It’s nice knowing what you’re up to sometimes.)

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke July 12, 2014 at 01:56

        And why not, dadblameit?

        Oh really? Rats. I put something in it. But I really don’t know what to do with coffee. I think it needs lots and lots–and loads and loads–of sugar.

        I thought you’d appreciate knowing.

      • 53 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 12, 2014 at 03:02

        Because you can’t be, probably.

        When you’re at Starbucks…not even sugar helps. Yucketh! Maybe White Chocolate Mocha. ..wait you won’t like that either…

        I do. Very much.

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2014 at 12:39

        Why no, dadblameit?!!!!!!!!!

        Yes, I think I shouldn’t ever return.

      • 55 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 15, 2014 at 05:33

        Well…seems simple.

        Me either…

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2014 at 12:55

        *growls at Audith*

        Yes, it’s a wicked place.

      • 57 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 16, 2014 at 05:32

        But why? I’m your biggest fan…

        You’ll be in trouble for sure now!

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2014 at 13:03

        Aw! Audith, that’s really nice of you. Made my day, actually…

        And why?

      • 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 17, 2014 at 01:11

        It did…I should work harder at letting you know. I’m so glad, Duke.

        Good question, Sir.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2014 at 14:43

        I think you let me know in the Audith way every day, and for that I couldn’t be more thankful!

        Yes, it’s a vexing one.

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 18, 2014 at 04:03

        Aww…I try. Shy girls truly try.

        Maybe you should use vexing more often. I happen to like when I hear you say the word.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke July 18, 2014 at 12:50

        Everyone’s shy.

        Can you hear me say it?

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 18, 2014 at 14:25

        Not everyone.

        I’ve heard you say it.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke July 18, 2014 at 16:43

        Oh, you’d be surprised. Some mask it well.

        When?

      • 65 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 18, 2014 at 18:37

        Just not me.

        Oh on a skit, of course.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke July 19, 2014 at 01:07

        No problem with that!

        Oh that’s right. Should’ve remembered that!

      • 67 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 19, 2014 at 05:36

        *smiles*

  4. 68 The Dancing Rider June 30, 2014 at 21:10

    My favorite proverb is yours! #1! I love it, but can’t explain why. :/

    #3 is a close second. :)

    That dadblamed weather tip is just that — dadblamed! No way would I do that! In the real world of course these events are awful. But in the PL world, it could be fun – I would be afraid though. What if I ended up in a distant cave in the PL?

    Also, another dadblamed thing — the “interview”. Ah well, it is the little things which get our goats the most!

    I can’t complain about Nick. I might not show up either. I probably would have given a reason though.

    Last, ugh, chicken soup ala’ Ruber. DS would never do that to Ruber though — he likes Ruber too much!

    • 69 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:50

      DR–that’s just wonderful! I’m glad it’s loved. I can’t figure it out, you know.

      Yes…in a distant cave with the evil spirit that tortures MM? That would be horrid. You see, MM is sometimes threatened by an evil spirit, surprisingly.

      It is! But of course the professor doesn’t worry about any of that.

      Don’t you think Nick needs spanked, though?

      I think you’re right. But would he sell him?

      • 70 The Dancing Rider July 1, 2014 at 13:34

        Nick definitely needs a good spanking!

        Hmmmm, now selling him is a different question. He very well might — but only because he knew he could get him back.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:15

        He does! I’ll let you give it to him. (He studies self-defense, sadly.)

        Very true. Right on, actually.

  5. 72 Julie Harris June 30, 2014 at 21:07

    I must hear a sample of your chirping!

    • 73 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:48

      Do you think it’d be scary?

      • 74 Julie Harris July 1, 2014 at 12:55

        Perhaps….

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:00

        Definitely! I’m a warrior, remember.

  6. 76 bardictale June 30, 2014 at 19:38

    But I was told they tweet! What am I to do now?

    • 77 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:42

      *laughs* I don’t know! Do you suppose the professor is wrong?

      • 78 bardictale July 1, 2014 at 16:01

        Both could be right, no?

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:50

        Well, something has to be wrong, doesn’t it?

      • 80 bardictale July 2, 2014 at 16:36

        Does it?

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke July 2, 2014 at 21:54

        Oh, Bard…you tell me, please!

      • 82 bardictale July 3, 2014 at 18:30

        I don’t think one of them has to be wrong…

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke July 3, 2014 at 20:45

        Which one, Bard?

      • 84 bardictale July 4, 2014 at 04:37

        Neither

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke July 4, 2014 at 17:48

        Bard! How vexing.

      • 86 bardictale July 5, 2014 at 21:01

        Vexing? Why do you say that?

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke July 6, 2014 at 18:25

        Well, then, what is it?

      • 88 bardictale July 6, 2014 at 19:01

        Which it would you be referring to?

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke July 7, 2014 at 12:43

        Well you said they were both wrong.

      • 90 bardictale July 14, 2014 at 16:42

        Quite the contrary- I said that they could both be right.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2014 at 19:53

        Is the professor right?

      • 92 bardictale July 16, 2014 at 20:00

        If both sayings are correct, then the professor is correct. That is what logic dictates.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2014 at 00:22

        Aha! So the professor is correct, then.

      • 94 bardictale July 17, 2014 at 09:53

        Yes, my dear professor.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke July 17, 2014 at 14:50

        Well…I’m beginning to see it all, I think…

  7. 96 Debbie June 30, 2014 at 17:59

    I like #1 this week. Birds really *don’t* sing but instead chirp. Whether the professor chirps too is open for discussion.
    Your weather tip, Professor, is shameful! Really. “Enjoy the ride”? I think not. You probably shouldn’t pander to people’s indifference but assume the role of Chicken Little.
    Perhaps Ruber would have been more helpful, had he merely suggested opening up a can of Campbell’s!

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:20

      Yes, you know, I’m not sure I chirp. How could I tell, do you think?

      Rats! And here I thought that was fine advice. Well, don’t you think enjoying the ride is better than screaming during the ride?

      The professor like Chicken Little? *laughs*

      Much simpler, for sure!

  8. 98 erinkenobi2893 June 30, 2014 at 16:13

    Ruber giving a soup tutorial. I want to join his cooking classes! :-D
    And as to the little things–I think that Mr. Magi means things like apples, and sunrises, and well-made cups of tea… mmm. Also cake, and scones.
    I like your proverb best, professor. ;-)

    • 99 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:19

      That’d be awesome! What would you want to learn to make?

      Yes, I think you’re right. Mr. Magi is a very sensible person if you look for the sense, don’t you think so?

      Many thanks! But I can’t understand it, you know.

      • 100 erinkenobi2893 June 30, 2014 at 20:02

        Mmmmm… let’s see. I’d want to learn how to make the soups that I can’t ever seem to get right.
        Yes, he is. He just doesn’t always come around to the point. ;-P
        That’s why it’s so marvelous! ;-)

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:45

        Like potato soup, for instance.

        That’s true. He has trouble getting where he needs to go at times. It can be vexing. A pie is needed then.

        *laughs* *bows* Well, thanks!

      • 102 erinkenobi2893 July 1, 2014 at 16:55

        That’s right! How did you know?!
        I don’t think it’s a good idea to just randomly throw pies at Mr. Magi.
        ;-)

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:55

        Well, it’s my favorite. And I…just professorishly knew!

        That’s a good point. Probably wouldn’t be safe at all, you know.

      • 104 erinkenobi2893 July 1, 2014 at 22:29

        :-P Wow. It’s impressive, and yes, I can never get the cheese to incorporate properly into the soup. It always seems to curdle.
        Yes, indeed.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke July 2, 2014 at 13:33

        Yeah, I know. That’s the problem right there. It’s quite difficult. (I’ve seen it made)

      • 106 erinkenobi2893 July 4, 2014 at 12:38

        I think it might work better if we blended some of the potatoes into the water. It might incorporate better, then…

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke July 4, 2014 at 17:51

        Yes, and not be so separated. You’re right. And maybe some carrots.

      • 108 erinkenobi2893 July 4, 2014 at 17:52

        That would be the best plan, I think.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke July 4, 2014 at 17:54

        Now to do it.

      • 110 erinkenobi2893 July 5, 2014 at 17:04

        Without getting caught by my sister.

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke July 6, 2014 at 18:24

        Wouldn’t she like it?

      • 112 erinkenobi2893 July 7, 2014 at 16:10

        No–any change to “her” kitchen’s status quo is frowned upon. Never mind the fact that I seemed to make it go more efficiently…

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke July 7, 2014 at 16:52

        *laughing* Is she a Jedi?

      • 114 erinkenobi2893 July 7, 2014 at 17:01

        She might be. Not much in so-called “real life”, though.

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2014 at 12:13

        *laughs and nods* I understand.

      • 116 erinkenobi2893 July 8, 2014 at 15:05

        Yeah. It’s hard to be a Jedi, sometimes, when Real Life interferes.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke July 8, 2014 at 16:23

        That’s why…you could be a Sith.

      • 118 erinkenobi2893 July 9, 2014 at 15:47

        I don’t think I’d have the time to truly commit to being a Sith, but thanks anyway. :-P

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke July 9, 2014 at 22:54

        It takes only a minute!

      • 120 erinkenobi2893 July 10, 2014 at 14:25

        No, I mean… world domination plans and such must take up a lot of time which I frankly don’t have.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke July 10, 2014 at 17:55

        But–if you ended up taking over the world–it would be worth it, you know!

      • 122 erinkenobi2893 July 11, 2014 at 19:13

        I doubt it. *sigh*

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke July 12, 2014 at 01:46

        Huff-Hum!

      • 124 erinkenobi2893 July 12, 2014 at 17:28

        Hum-huff!

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2014 at 12:49

        *laughing* Love it…

      • 126 erinkenobi2893 July 14, 2014 at 16:31

        Why thank you. :-P

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke July 14, 2014 at 19:51

        *pours salt on Erin’s tongue*

      • 128 erinkenobi2893 July 15, 2014 at 11:59

        *licks it* Mmm, that tastes good… (I was just biking and now anything salty tastes nice because of all the salt I lost in sweat.)

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2014 at 12:57

        Rats and a Heifer! You were supposed to gag!

      • 130 erinkenobi2893 July 15, 2014 at 15:05

        *shrugs* Circumstances. :-P

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke July 15, 2014 at 15:53

        Yes, it was bad timing on my part.

      • 132 erinkenobi2893 July 15, 2014 at 20:59

        Indeed. :-P

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke July 16, 2014 at 00:40

        Huff-Hum and a roar.

      • 134 erinkenobi2893 July 16, 2014 at 11:30

        :-P

  9. 135 InfiniteZip June 30, 2014 at 16:08

    My birds caw caw…unpleasant cackle of crows….I wishe they would just chirp….like the professor…..

    • 136 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:18

      Well…but…but…but…dadblameit! Are you sure I chirp?

      • 137 InfiniteZip June 30, 2014 at 18:19

        Maybe???

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:21

        You know, I’m not sure. How can I tell?

      • 139 InfiniteZip June 30, 2014 at 19:08

        Hmmm, I’ll have to think about that:) try singing, do you warble?

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:39

        Ooo, that’s sounds neatio. What’s warbling?

      • 141 InfiniteZip July 1, 2014 at 13:01

        Bird speak in music:)

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:02

        Aha! *laughs* Well welly! You know.

  10. 143 floridaborne June 30, 2014 at 14:18

    Never thought of professor-speak as bird chatter. Hmmm…. :-)

    • 144 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:15

      Yes, not very flattering, is it?

  11. 145 Simply Skeptical June 30, 2014 at 13:50

    Chirping what a nice way to go about the day! Nick is not very reliable is he? Condemn him to 1000 push-ups sir. The “little things” conversation is another one of those dadblame conversations that I’m sure is the cause of all the professor’s chirping. :-)

    • 146 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:15

      *laughing* Now, now. The professor doesn’t even chirp–probably. Don’t you think Nick might die if I made him do that?

  12. 147 FictionFan June 30, 2014 at 13:28

    No. 1 is the runaway winner! Even though it’s nonsensical. But less nonsensical than the other two…and anyway it’s the Professor’s! So it wins. By default.

    But how awful if you ended up in Oz with all those annoying singing people!? And were forced to wear red shoes…

    Mr Freedwoppen should have beaten Mr Magi, don’t you think? It could only improve him…

    …and talking of beating people, Nick seems like another fine contender…

    …and then finish off a good day’s work with Ruber…

    • 148 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:14

      Aw, that’s just awesome! Many thanks. *bows* I’m not sure it makes much sense–even professorish sense. I don’t even know what I’m implying.

      Yucketh! I’d hate it there. Probably commit suicide. Did you ever read those books?

      Well, Mr. Magi would have probably gotten angry and done something dreadful. You should have!

      Yes. He needs many. Send Tuppence, please.

      Poor Ruber. I think you like him–secretly.

      • 149 FictionFan June 30, 2014 at 20:54

        I think you’re implying that the Professor is free like a bird – a soaring golden eagle or perhaps a diving goshawk! Though I wouldn’t necessarily tell an eagle that it chirps…

        No!! and you can’t make me!!

        I would! Secretly, just between you and me, I think Mr Magi may be senile. Or nuts. One or the other. Or possibly both.

        She’s on her way, but don’t tell Nick. A surprise attack is the most effective…

        So secretly that sometimes even I’m not aware of it! But he’d be fine if he’d just give up cooking and take up a less lethal career…dressmaking perhaps.

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:48

        A goshawk…what an interesting name. I hope it’s fierce. I’ll look it up right now. *a minute passes* Yes, that’s me! Did you notice the orange eyes and wicked demeanor?

        I shan’t! It’s horrid, I’ll bet. It’s probably older than you, too…

        What of the professor?

        I hope she takes out his ears.

        *laughing* Dressmaking? Hahaha! I’ll ask him to make you one.

      • 151 FictionFan July 1, 2014 at 13:39

        Yes, they’re viciously wicked – that’s why they seemed so Professorish. They’re also very elusive and rarely seen…

        Too horrid to contemplate, I should think!

        He’s too young to be senile, so he must just be nuts.

        Well, she might start with that…

        *shocked face* Couldn’t he please practice on other people first? Mr R’s ladies would like some new frocks, I’m sure.

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:16

        Elusive…am I elusive? I think I’d like to be. But I don’t like the rarely seen part. What a vexing situation.

        I’ll have to make you read them…

        Oh, he’s very old! Double your age and you’ve got it. Or maybe triple.

        Yucketh! Blood bath, I suppose.

        Frock…what’s that?

  13. 153 PorterGirl June 30, 2014 at 13:19

    I think number one is my favourite proverb this week – I would so like to hear the Professor chirp! But do you sing as well?

    Excellent weather advice, I have written down in my notebook for future reference.

    Aaarrgh Mr Magi could drive one to distraction! But he might be right about MM and DS – which worries me as I am a little thing.

    Where is Nick, then? How very naughty of him to skip his duties. Should be be spanked? Something, at least, should be done.

    • 154 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:13

      I’m not sure even why I came up with it! And you know, I’m not sure how I sing either. Probably badly, huh?

      *laughing* There we are! You’d go for a ride in the tornado with me surely!

      Mr. Magi is, too, you know. But I think MM would respect you lots… DS…doesn’t really respect anyone. But he isn’t always mean. You have to know how to speak with him, I think. I’d help you there.

      Spanked, yes! I’m not sure. He usually sends the story on Sunday. Not very nice, was it?

      • 155 PorterGirl June 30, 2014 at 19:21

        Why would your singing be bad? Maybe you sing like Elvis Presley. Have you tried?

        I would absolutely be up for a ride in a tornado with you, but would leave my hat at home in case it got swept away on a gust!

        Haha – I would love to speak to DS with your able assistance, that would be very interesting. I would try hard not to annoy him but I fear I may fail! I think MM and I would be good pals.

        Do you suppose Nick has been unwell? Although I was cross at first, now I’ve had time to think about it maybe I should be more understanding. If he wasn’t ill, or some such thing, I would say there is no excuse! A very vexing thing to do indeed.

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:41

        Well…yes, I have. But I can’t hear myself. I mean, I can. But…well, the professor shouldn’t sing. Oh dear.

        *laughing* Yes, that would be better. Though I would be sorely tempted to bring a hat, I would.

        Oh no, you’d be surprised. Especially if you said how great his son was. That would tickle his ears. Yes, I think you would be. You could take care of Billy-Sue for him.

        No, he was just fine! See what a little mite he is? What should be done?

      • 157 PorterGirl July 1, 2014 at 13:14

        Well, Nick must have a spanking, even if it is just a small one. There is nothing else to be done!

        I shall certainly do my best to please DS by talking about how great Ruber is – especially his cooking. I would be happy to take care of Billy-Sue! How lovely.

        Maybe I would wear a very tight fitting hat!

        I shouldn’t really sing either, but I do. Only on my own though, people don’t like it if I do it in their company. Which is a shame.

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 21:05

        Yes, I agree. Or, he can skip dinner for a week or so.

        *laughs* It would be awesome for sure. I mean, great fun, you know. And that would please DS loads.

        Which would show off your head muscle: the brain! I admit, that was odd.

        *laughing lots* I wouldn’t mind, you know!

      • 159 PorterGirl July 2, 2014 at 05:21

        *laughing even more lots* Head muscle! Love it!

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke July 2, 2014 at 13:44

        *laughing too* Many thanks! *bows*

  14. 161 Susan P June 30, 2014 at 12:55

    Why do we have two 8th edition?

    My bird sings.

    That, dadblameit, is Magi logic if ever I’ve read it!

    Nick should be made to read Pride and Prejudice and write a book report about it.

    Now whether to put the chicken in whole or cut up really depends on the circumstances.

    Why are they arguing about that anyway?

    • 162 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:11

      Do we really? *laughing lots* What a pity. I’ll fix it. Do you blame me for it?

      You have a bird?

      Actually, I believe in it!

      Yes, he should be. Please make him, please.

      I figured you’d know about this. I do wonder how Ruber’s tastes.

      I’m not even sure…why do you suppose?

  15. 163 L. Marie June 30, 2014 at 12:54

    I’m with Walt Walker.
    Um as for the quotes, I’ll go with number 1.
    Mr. Magi seems to be a very frustrating person to interview.

    • 164 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:10

      Oh, rats. I’d like to ride a tornado for a little bit, you know.

      Mine? How lovely. Though I’m not sure it makes much sense, you know.

      Yes, I would have had to throw a pie at him or something.

  16. 165 John W. Howell June 30, 2014 at 12:47

    My favorite (among many)” A stitch in time saves nine unless the wound is bigger than that, then you have to do more.”

    • 166 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 12:49

      That is a good one! But what does the nine mean?

  17. 167 walt walker June 30, 2014 at 12:37

    Oh no. You will never find me standing in the path of a tornado. You will find me running away and screaming like a little girl.

    • 168 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 12:48

      *laughing* But…but…don’t you think the ride could be fun for a little bits?

      • 169 walt walker June 30, 2014 at 13:25

        Perhaps. I do like roller coasters. But they are predictable, you see. I know where they will go, when they will end, and that they will put me down gently.

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke June 30, 2014 at 18:13

        Well, I don’t trust roller coasters! Don’t you worry about falling off?

      • 171 walt walker July 1, 2014 at 00:56

        No, but I worry about them launching me into space.

      • 172 Professor VJ Duke July 1, 2014 at 12:51

        Which might be neatio. You’d get to have a go against green aliens–or yellow ones.

      • 173 walt walker July 3, 2014 at 01:28

        I would best the both of them. I’m not going all the way to space to lose to a few smarmy aliens. Are they smarmy?

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke July 3, 2014 at 20:25

        Horribly so, yes. They try to get you to drink first, you see…

      • 175 walt walker July 3, 2014 at 20:35

        Ah, the pig wine?

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke July 3, 2014 at 20:47

        Yes, nasty stuff. I’m sure you’d be fine, though. Especially if you took my katana.


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