Professorish Pictures & Book

So, this professor has a few pictures to show.

You see, I grow a few plants about that are very interesting.

This is the first.

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I think it looks like an alien structure. Maybe it communicates with aliens?

Now this next thing is very ugly. I mean, it doesn’t classify as a twig (it’s too tall) and it definitely can’t classify as a tree. It’s from the dinosaur era. It’s ugly. It’s a leaf.

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This is just a pot of dirt where I keep my weed collection. My favorite weed is the thick green one.

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Overall, the alien plant is the nicest, don’t you think? I know, it’s a hard decision to make.

One more thing.

The professor just finished The Martian a few weeks ago. Or maybe a week ago? I don’t have my watch with me.

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Anyway it was rather awesome. It’s a great adventure book—imagine an adventure on mars. The main character swears a bit, but so does the professor (profusely) so we can’t be blaming anyone for certain swearing things.

Thanks goes to FictionFan for the recommendation!

Seriously—and this is seriously—the professor was a good reader back in the old days of youth. I read all the time. Read this book, killed this one, shredded this one’s pages…

Maybe I’ve just gotten lazy…but I do think my pot of weeds proves otherwise.

 

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241 Responses to “Professorish Pictures & Book”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 July 27, 2014 at 19:58

    I think the first plant grows in the desert, which, as everyone knows, is the best place for making contact with Aliens. :-P And Plant #2 is ugly, but I think it’s probably actually a pumpkin vine growing up a dead tree. ;-P
    You have a weed collection? AWESOME! ^_^

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke July 28, 2014 at 17:05

      That’s interesting, Erin. I never thought about deserts and aliens before, but now that you say it…aha! What an interest. A pumpkin vine? Oh dear. Are they horrid?

      I know, right? It’s just…professorish!

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 July 28, 2014 at 19:00

        No, it’s not a problem. Unless it grows pumpkins all over your lawn. And then, my advice would be: Start a farm stand and sell them around Halloween time. ;-P
        It is indeed. ;-)

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 13:03

        Now that is a good idea. Kinda hoping the pumpkins come now.

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 July 29, 2014 at 20:07

        :-P

  2. 6 Debbie July 25, 2014 at 18:22

    Professor, I love your limestone brick. Oh, wait, I was supposed to talk about your interesting plants, wasn’t I? Well, I’m not sure about that first thing — it does rather look like it’s trying to communicate with the mother ship. As for the second, is that a sycamore? Its leaves sort of look like that to me. And a bucket of weeds? Well, okay, I guess I might have some of those sitting around, too. Maybe yours floated across the country and landed here (or vice versa!)

    • 7 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2014 at 14:44

      Many thanks! You may talk about anything you’d like! Promise! *laughs* The mother ship…now I’m spooked! No, it’s not a sycamore. I think it’s a royal…something. I forget it’s name. *laughing* My weeds belong to you!

  3. 8 Angeline M July 25, 2014 at 15:18

    Love that first succulent…looks like a Viking’s helmet to me. And a pot of weeks…why haven’t I thought of that? Great idea!

    • 9 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2014 at 14:32

      *laughs* A viking helmet. I should have one, don’t you think? I know! Pot of weeds…just fabulous!

  4. 10 Me, Myself and DIY July 25, 2014 at 11:42

    Biggest non-tropical leaves I have ever seen. Looks more like kudzu killing a tree. Well, the tree part looks dead already. And the little alien plant looks like someone’s arms reaching up from the ground.

    • 11 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:53

      I know! The leaves are gynamically big! It’s a wonder. Someone’s arms…whose do you suppose?

      • 12 Me, Myself and DIY July 25, 2014 at 15:40

        I don’t think I want to know, they look scary.

      • 13 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2014 at 14:32

        *nods* I know what you mean…but.

  5. 14 Nancy Loderick July 24, 2014 at 19:22

    Hey Professor,

    Love your pictures! Very mysterious and professorish. Alas, we don’t have any plants growing in our yard. Between the chipmunks, the rabbits and the Japanese beetles, they would be eaten in one day!

    Nancy

    • 15 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:27

      *laughing* I know! Aren’t those Japanese beetles the worst? I had them here a few bits ago…but they’ve seem to vanished. Now just stinkbugs.

  6. 16 L. Marie July 24, 2014 at 17:24

    I think the first photo looks like a tropical island with two palm trees.
    There also are weeds near me. I took a photo, but can’t figure out how to get it in the comments section. But one plant is about as tall as I am, and I’m 5 feet 5.

    • 17 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 18:18

      *laughs* It sorta does! In a pea gravel sea. I must admit, it is kinda neatio looking.

      Oh rats! I’d love to see it. You could always tweet it, if you’d like. Wow! That’s huge for a plant, I think.

  7. 18 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 24, 2014 at 02:20

    I happen to enjoy these photos. All of them! The alien plant is a little village, Duke. Be careful with it. There is a lot happening in there…

    The twig is marvelous and not ugly at all. Be nice!

    That pot is pathetic. Needs painting. Let’s paint it, shall we? I do like the weeds. Thinking maybe you should think about going outside a little more often. I would put some color in that pot to accent your pretty weeds.

    Glad you read a book this summer. I will pass on this one, but glad FF has you reading.

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:55

      Aha! Really? Who lives in the village, Audith?

      It is! What’s with all that stuff at the top with no leaves?

      Well…what color? And…shouldn’t we just put those sweet little things over the hill?

      I’d like to go to Mars, you know.

      • 20 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 24, 2014 at 22:18

        Yes! Well, maybe little people with red beards. And a few others.

        Those are protectors, Duke.

        Hmm. Color? Tis your house, so red?

        What would you do on Mars? They say redheads have something in their hair that traces us back to Mars. Did you know that?

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:43

        That’s an interest! I bet the women have beards, too.

        Protectors…never heard of them!

        Red would be nice. But…wouldn’t it stick out a bit?

        I did not know that! That’s so cool! Really?

      • 22 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 25, 2014 at 15:53

        Yes, of course they do.

        You should have…

        Well, yes, so what? That can be good…

        Yes, really. Read sometime, Duke. LOL

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2014 at 14:33

        Now that’s amazingly wicked.

        I haven’t!

        But what if the hunters came?

        I read all the time, dadblameit!

      • 24 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 26, 2014 at 21:07

        Yes, they also have a chant that they say.

        Keeps the wrong birds or squirrels away, I think.

        Weed hunters?

        Not about redheads and Mars apparently!

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke July 27, 2014 at 15:47

        How wonderful.

        Uncross your fingers, Audith!

        Well, hunters in general. They’ll see the red weeds!

        I’ve actually been reading a lot about Mars recently.

      • 26 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 28, 2014 at 03:51

        You don’t even want to hear it, do you? *pouts*

        I’m not crossing my fingers. I’m crossing my toes and that is different. Makesnthings even more true, I think.

        You don’t have red weeds, Duketh.

        I’m thinking about asking you why.

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke July 28, 2014 at 17:09

        Oh…well, yes, go ahead, please.

        Your toes? Well…must say I’ve never heard of that way of doing things, you know.

        You can’t be sure, though…

        I don’t know! It’s strange…

      • 28 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 29, 2014 at 04:37

        Forget it.

        Did you try to cross your toes, Duke?

        Based on the pictures, you don’t, however you have a point. We’ve not seen all your weeds.

        You’re calling me strange, then.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 13:12

        I won’t now!

        I haven’t ever tried…

        Well, the alien one was sorta red, wasn’t it?

        No…I mean, what’s wrong with strange?

      • 30 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 29, 2014 at 17:19

        You will. Remember your memory.

        I tried. I can’t. My toes are too short.

        Oh, yes, it was! Oops!

        I’ve never thought anything was wrong with steange. Ever. I lean into strange. Always have, Duke.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 17:58

        I have a great one, you know. Now tell me!

        *laughs* I can’t even think how to try.

        There you are, then.

        Unless, of course, your strange is normal.

      • 32 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 29, 2014 at 18:40

        Starts with a:
        Rat tat tat, probably. *laughing*

        Oh, you should try harder.

        Maybe to you…

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:25

        Love the beginning! You need to finish it now. *starts tapping his foot along with the poem*

        Won’t do it!

        And…not you?

      • 34 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 30, 2014 at 05:06

        Well, the next line is something like:
        Rat tat tat
        A butcher and a lad

        You never want to have any fun, Duketh!

        but you see, I don’t think it’s normal, which is why I like it so much. If I thought it was normal I’d walk away, I think.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:45

        Very nice! You need to finish it!

        That’s because I’m horrid!

        Very good point. I see…

      • 36 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 30, 2014 at 20:39

        Rat tat tat
        Butcher and a lad
        Build a village out of a shack
        So such dadblamery could be had
        *sparkles birightly* (LOL)

        You stop it!

        You can’t possibly see…

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:12

        *laughing* It’s the best wonderful poem ever!

        No!

        But I think I can…

      • 38 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 31, 2014 at 17:29

        Tis a chant, Sir *giggle* it rhymes!

        Oh?!

        You do, huh?

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 23:51

        I love rhyming!

        *skips away singing something obscene*

        Yes!

      • 40 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 1, 2014 at 03:10

        As do I, you knew that. Oops.

        *gets out the butterfly net* Just try, man! You can be so disagreeable! *laughs*

        Good. I thought so. *smiles*

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 15:59

        Of course I’m disagreeable!

      • 42 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 1, 2014 at 19:48

        *threatens to pull your shoes off myself and twist your toes personally*

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 22:17

        *runs away*

      • 44 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 2, 2014 at 03:04

        *runs away with you* How far we going today?

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke August 3, 2014 at 22:32

        To hunt some troll!

      • 46 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 4, 2014 at 02:04

        Troll? Do we have to cross a bridge?

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 13:20

        No…I don’t think so.

      • 48 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 4, 2014 at 15:31

        I’ll come along. Trolls usually make you answer cryptic questions, which I like about them, or sing strange songs.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 23:33

        I’m a troll, I think, suddenly.

      • 50 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 5, 2014 at 00:41

        *laughs*

  8. 51 John W. Howell July 24, 2014 at 01:56

    The weeds have a leg up for the most attractive. (sad to say)

    • 52 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:53

      I know. It’s a pity. Something should die, John. What should it be?

      • 53 John W. Howell July 24, 2014 at 20:19

        The alien plant. (Take it’s final requests first though)

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:30

        *laughs* I wonder what it’ll ask for…

      • 55 John W. Howell July 25, 2014 at 13:40

        My guess? That you kill weed.

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:53

        *laughs* It would make sense. Not a happy fellow to have his last wish to kill something, though.

      • 57 John W. Howell July 25, 2014 at 13:59

        but if weed is gone no need to eliminate alien.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2014 at 14:29

        That’s true. I suppose it should be done now.

      • 59 John W. Howell July 26, 2014 at 14:34

        be strong

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2014 at 14:46

        I will try…maybe you can do it?

  9. 61 Lady Cheetah July 23, 2014 at 22:26

    I see you have the green thumb. Can you grow vegetables? If so I would ne more than happy to mail you (snail mail of course) seeds to start my garden. Lol!

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:38

      *laughing lots* Oh how wicked of you! I’m embarking on growing strawberries as of now. My patch is new, so no fruit yet, but it’s rather large. I’m just not sure what to do with it.

      Do you like beets and potatoes? I’ll put those in your garden!

      • 63 Lady Cheetah July 24, 2014 at 15:22

        Omg! You just gave me a thought for a future garden. I ♥ potatoes. Beets? Ugh!
        I would like to see a picture when your strawberries grow.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 18:06

        Potatoes? *gag* You do not like potatoes! Beets are…okay…

        Will do. They’ll be beautiful–like me.

      • 65 Lady Cheetah July 24, 2014 at 19:22

        Oh you make me laugh. Why on God’s green earth would I eat beets? That’s gross my friend.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:28

        You can’t be mean to them ’cause they’re red! Have you ever tried one?

      • 67 Lady Cheetah July 25, 2014 at 14:21

        I humbly admit I have not. And with a name like beet it’s highly unlikely I ever will. There are some things in this world better left alone like brussel sprouts for instance.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2014 at 14:30

        *laughs* I totally agree with brussel sprouts… I don’t really like beets. They’re too red, you know.

  10. 69 Jackie July 23, 2014 at 21:43

    What a lovely collection of weeds and wildflowers! The alien plant looks like a succulent of some kind.

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:38

      Aha! I knew you’d probably know about that. Isn’t that really beautiful? I never expected that to grow to horns!

      • 71 Jackie July 24, 2014 at 13:49

        Nature is filled to the brim with surprises like that!

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 14:06

        It is! The professor is a surprise!

  11. 73 The Dancing Rider July 23, 2014 at 19:52

    Oh the alien structure plant is the best! But I’m also partial to the pot o’weeds. It’s cute.

    • 74 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:35

      *laughs* Pot o’weeds is a great name for it. It’s uglily cute. Like the professor.

  12. 75 Simply Skeptical July 23, 2014 at 14:57

    Professor you are too hilarious! (Laughing seriously) The pot of weed collections is a winner! Of course, the alien speices has garnered some alarmed attention as well. Is it safe? Please be careful what signals it may be giving off or worse yet picking up. (Loads of laughter sir)

    • 76 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:37

      *laughs and then bows* Well…the alien thing is maybe safe. FictionFan thinks they’re coming to get me, though, so I don’t know! Isn’t that pot of weeds spicy?

  13. 77 E. July 23, 2014 at 14:31

    Shrubbery! The ugly thing is a shrub. They were my favorite hiding place as a kid. Although that one is particularly… erm… unappealing.

    • 78 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:36

      What should be done with it, E?

      • 79 E. July 23, 2014 at 19:43

        Depends on how attached to it you are.

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:51

        Well, I think it’s ugly. But my analysts might want to keep it there.

      • 81 E. July 23, 2014 at 19:55

        Better clear it with the analysts before you do anything with it.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:35

        I suppose… Unless, E, you bring your army of foxes and destroy the analysts…

      • 83 walt walker July 23, 2014 at 23:16

        I find it most unsettling. You should cut it in half with your katana.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:39

        (But, Walt, do you suppose the katana might break?)

      • 85 walt walker July 24, 2014 at 15:39

        Why, do you buy them on the cheap?

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 18:11

        Oh no! This one was rather…you know. And it’s made of the best steel supposedly.

      • 87 walt walker July 24, 2014 at 19:52

        Then you should strike at once!

  14. 88 Julie Harris July 23, 2014 at 14:30

    If it’s green- it’s a garden in my book! That alien plant is quite interesting…definitely a keeper!

    • 89 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:36

      Yes, gardens should be yellow, though. Wouldn’t that be coolio?

      • 90 Julie Harris July 23, 2014 at 21:16

        Coolio, indeed!

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:37

        *laughs*

  15. 92 PorterGirl July 23, 2014 at 13:26

    WooHoo look at these! I have a pot of weeds in my garden, too. I haven’t the heart to get rid of them so they are now just part of the garden. I also like the thick green one. That dinosaur one is perculiar. What can it be? There is a strange plant near to me now. I’m going to send you a picture of it somehow.

    Glad to hear about the swearing, it is good for the soul. What’s your favourite swear word?

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 13:39

      Yes, that’s it! I don’t have the heart to kill mine either. They seem happy and happy. I’m not sure! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was begging to be cut down, don’t you think?

      Can’t wait to see it!

      Well…”dadblameit” right now. Of course, my swearing is professorish swearing. Which is just as good for me. It sounds cooler, and they’re uglier! How about you?

      • 94 PorterGirl July 23, 2014 at 14:18

        Bugger is my favourite swear word, but it isn’t really a swear word. It’s like polite swearing. You can say it in front of children and such. It’s a great word!

        I say cut down the dinosaur thing, it looks unlikely.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:33

        That is a great word! But we shouldn’t let children say it. We should hold it for a prize, once they grow up.

        *laughs* Okay, then! Off with its head.

      • 96 PorterGirl July 24, 2014 at 07:23

        Oh no they are not allowed to say it, but it is not so offensive that they can’t hear it. An education in profanity should always start with ‘bugger’.

        *laughs lots*

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 14:00

        That’s so interesting! I’d think nothing of bugger here. How about bloody?

      • 98 PorterGirl July 24, 2014 at 14:51

        Bloody is alright, they even say it in soap operas. Bloody Hell is a bit ruder, but not very rude. My Nan says it, so it’s probably fine. How about… Buggering bloody hell! Where is my hat? That’s a good sweary phrase that isn’t even rude but sounds it!

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 18:05

        *laughs* I like that one! BBH! Can I abbreviate it like that?

      • 100 PorterGirl July 25, 2014 at 09:53

        Oh yes, do! It sounds even angrier that way

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:51

        *laughs* Love it! thanks, Lucy.

  16. 102 walt walker July 23, 2014 at 13:14

    The alien one is shaped just like the Island of Gilligan.

    I cannot imagine the professor swearing profusely. And my mind refuses to do it, also.

    It’s interesting that you shred a good book and rip a bad one.

    Be careful where you keep your weed collection. That could land you in hot water.

    • 103 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 13:37

      Did that island have two mountains? I’m wondering what those towers are, you see.

      Well…I swear all the time for you. “Dadblameit” “Malediction” “Rats and a Heifer” the list goes on, you see.

      *laughs* I know. Violent, huh?

      And why so?

      • 104 walt walker July 23, 2014 at 18:23

        I thought they were little coconut trees.

        Oh, you mean that kind of swearing. I swear I thought you meant the wicked kind.

        And that you are violent in the same way, whether you like them or not.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:51

        Well, then! I should go and get some coconuts. *thinks about climbing the trees*

        That is the wicked kind, dadblameit!

        *laughs* I’m a warrior! Like Hector.

  17. 106 desertdweller29 July 23, 2014 at 13:13

    Too funny, Professor! Alas, I have a pot of weeds too. It takes a stellar amount of laziness. At least we’re stellar. The succulent, however, is quite the specimen.

    • 107 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 13:36

      It does! And they just grow, don’t they? Are they pretty shades of green? *laughs* Stellar…that’s great right there. We can be proud of that.

      Isn’t it, though? What do you make of it?

      • 108 desertdweller29 July 23, 2014 at 14:24

        It looks extraterrestrial for sure! Somewhere there’s a bald alien in need of its antennas… Poor lad (or ladette).

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:35

        You mean…should I send it back?

  18. 110 InfiniteZip July 23, 2014 at 13:03

    Where are your weed flowers? Do you have them in the castle garden?

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 13:35

      Zippy, I don’t have a castle. It’s sorta like a professor lounge of sorts. Not a lounge, but it looks like one, sort of. Hope that makes sense. I won’t read it again, because it probably won’t. How’s your castle garden?

      • 112 InfiniteZip July 23, 2014 at 15:54

        My knight shaved to the ground all of my blackberries, so bald would be my answer;)

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:42

        *laughing lots* Are you okay with this?

      • 114 InfiniteZip July 24, 2014 at 16:07

        I guess I have to be as it is a done deal, maybe I will paint his toenails in polka dots while he sleeps, now that would be fun:)

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 18:14

        *laughs* Would it make him cranky, do you suppose?

      • 116 InfiniteZip July 24, 2014 at 19:38

        Most certainly…is that good?

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:30

        It would be! Just make sure he doesn’t bite!

  19. 118 FictionFan July 23, 2014 at 13:00

    The top one is clearly an alien that you’ve buried *shocked face* leaving only the top of his head and his horns visible. How brutal! (And yet somehow rather heroic…)

    The second one isn’t a plant! It’s the friend of the alien, creeping up on you behind heavy camouflage – RUN!!!

    The third one makes me cry just a little.

    Yay! Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the mention! *smiles like Woola* I doubt I’ll ever think of potatoes in quite the same way again…

    • 119 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 13:34

      *laughing lots* Never thought of it that way! But…FEF…those two thingys that stick up disappear from time to time. Are they his antenna?

      I’ll just get the flame-thrower. Or a few knives. He doesn’t move very fast. They must be slug aliens.

      Why cry? It’s beautiful!

      *laughs* I love when you smile like Woola. Just wait till you see him in the movie! Yes, me neither. I’ve never been fond of potatoes. I would have died. Refused to eat the potatoes, that’s what I would have done.

      • 120 FictionFan July 23, 2014 at 15:55

        Well, they might be. But I suspect they’re actually venom-shooting thingies and so they only appear when the alien is angry. He’s looking pretty angry right now – don’t lean over him!!!

        You have a flame-thrower? It’s so odd that I’m not surprised by that… Maybe it’s just that you move so fast (like Usain) that he seems slow in comparison.

        Yes. Uh-huh. Well. Maybe it’s the…ahem…beauty that’s making me cry…

        He better be lovely! *laughing* Yes I think I’d have seriously considered starvation myself. How bad could it be?

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:45

        Goodness! (See how creative?) You’ll get me to cut them off, then I’ll realize they were flowers…

        Well, I don’t, but I’d like one! I’ll let you know as I add weapons (guns too) to my armory. It’s the warrior way! *laughs* Usain…I like him…that’s what it is exactly!

        But I don’t make you cry… Very bad joke! Think no more of it!

        He…is! He’s the perfect…friendly dog. I like him lots. Starvation? It’d feel horrible. Eating potatoes? That’d be death itself!

      • 122 FictionFan July 23, 2014 at 23:50

        *laughs* But they may be flesh-eating flowers – I’d leave well alone. Maybe set up a camera so you can see if they get up to anything nefarious overnight…

        Oh do get one! Think of the dadblamery you could cause around the PL with a flamethrower! Did you know that Usain is in Glasgow tonight?

        But if you’re Beauty, wouldn’t that make me the B… ?? *beastly face*

        Maybe I’ll adopt him then and send you Tommy & Tuppence. What about french fries though – or as normal people call them, chips?

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:53

        It’ll eat my sweet camera! And I’ll be out of a video-shooter! Dadblameit.

        I did not! What’s he up to there? Have you gone to see him?

        Now, now! Everyone knows I’m the Beast. You may be anything you like, but not the Beast. I’m the Beast. The Beastly Beast. You can be the Teapot if you like.

        I think it would do Tuppence some good to come to boot camp. I’ll take them both. Chips? What do you call potato chips? The professor calls them tater tots! Well, technically, the tots are different. I do love french fires…and fries.

      • 124 FictionFan July 24, 2014 at 15:40

        Well…send Mic out to guard the camera overnight. or better yet, get Mic to lean over the alien and discover if they really do spit venom…

        He is attending the Commonwealth Games which Glasgow is hosting! He’s running in the relay race next week. No, not going (not much of an athletics fan, TBH) but still thrilled to have them all here!

        *laughing lots* Thank you! I think I’d rather like to be a Teapot…

        Hah! I wonder who’d win in a Professor-Tuppence battle? My money’s on the kitty! Potato chips are crisps, of course! You could be an honorary Glaswegian, you know – only liking potatoes once they’ve been deep-fried is one of the major qualifications.

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 18:14

        *laughs* And here I thought you liked Mic! Interesting…

        I know you hate athletics…but you like tennis! Hate fantasy…but you like HP! Go and get his autograph for me.

        Yeah! She was rather spicy. And coolio.

        The kitty over me??!! You don’t believe in me! I thought so. Crisps…righto. I’l ltry and remember this. Yes, I don’t like most things until they’ve been deep fried. That’s why I think a mars bar would be rather tasty.

      • 126 FictionFan July 24, 2014 at 22:14

        Oh I do! But if he has to be sacrificed to keep the Professor safe – well, it’s sad, but so be it!

        *laughing* Is the Professor suggesting that FF is a little inconsistent perhaps? I tried to catch him but he ran too fast… *puffs and pants then collapses*

        Who?? Is the Teapot a person then? Conversing with you is so…educational sometimes…

        I know – I’m sorry! If it was anyone else – Vince Wilfork, say, or Mr Deisel – you’d win easy. But Tuppence is mean… You’ll learn the language eventually. *laughing* Yep, it’s always the tourists…

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:41

        I’ll just send Nick out.

        Of course I am! You shouldn’t try to run him down. Too bad you don’t have a dart gun…

        Yes! You didn’t know that? Haven’t you ever watched Disney’s Beauty and the Beast? I love cartoons. Animation…the whole thingy. The Teapot is played be Angela Landsbury. Hope I said and spelled her name right.

        Well…goodness! Those guys are huge! Especially VW… Must be a trap you set, then!

      • 128 FictionFan July 25, 2014 at 16:58

        That’s a much better plan! Give him a real reason to be cranky…

        So honest…and so brave! *laughing lots* Now why didn’t I think of that?

        Nope, never! I used to love cartoons but I haven’t really watched any in years. I do love Angela Lansbury though – a great actress! So is the Teapot a teapot, or is that just an affectionate nickname?

        Yes, but you’d beat them easy – even both at the same time. *nods confidently* Who, us? *tries to look innocent*

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke July 26, 2014 at 14:41

        That’s what I say!

        For sure! You asked. And I’m always being so honest and telling everything. I don’t know! You’re just not…warriorish.

        Rats. I could have sworn it was “Land”. I think she should change her name to the professorish version. Well, she was a normal cartoon until the curse came. Then, she was a teapot! Sounds awesome, doesn’t it?

        *shocked face doubly* Wow…I wish that’s true. You can’t look innocent!

      • 130 FictionFan July 26, 2014 at 21:15

        Poor Nick! (But he deserves it…)

        Not warriorish?? Now that’s just mean! Much more of your honesty, sir, and I’ll dig out my pea-shooter!!

        *laughing* Definitely awesome! And even in my most gnomish moments I’ve never thought of cursing anyone onto a teapot! (Just about to watch John Carter, btw…bet he looks like you.)

        ‘Tis true indeed! That’s why they stay away from you – they’re scared! Ah, it’s only because you know me so well that you can see through the mask!

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke July 27, 2014 at 15:52

        He deserves much worse!

        But you’re not supposed to be! You’re a lady. That’s better, for you, you see, you see. You do have a weapon, I see!

        Yes, it was rather cruel. (Nice! Hope you enjoy it. I liked Taylor lots. Let me know what you think! Rip it, too, if you want!)

        *smiles proudly and flexes bicep* Yes, it must be! The professor is a wise sage.

      • 132 FictionFan July 28, 2014 at 13:49

        I don’t see why I can’t be a lady and a warrior! Look at Dejah Thoris – she manages it! Don’t you think I’m as good as her? *lower lip trembles* (Look out for a review…)

        A wise man with biceps! *swoons*

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke July 28, 2014 at 17:20

        Well…but…she needed John Carter to save her! Yes, I think you’re way better than Dejah. You’ve got a better name for one. And you have…

        *laughing*

      • 134 FictionFan July 28, 2014 at 23:07

        But he needed her to save him too!! Thank you, kind sir! And I have…what? What??

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 13:07

        He did not! When? *laughs* I really can’t say…

      • 136 FictionFan July 29, 2014 at 16:27

        He hid behind her at least twice! Then I shall pout… *pouts*

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 17:55

        He did not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Imagine those all the way to Mars, please.) You’re funny when you pout!

      • 138 FictionFan July 29, 2014 at 21:35

        Did too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think you may need to watch the film again!) *pouts some more*

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:33

        Yes, I do, you’re right! I think I’ll buy it. And watch it every week or so. (I loved it too much.) Lovely!

  20. 140 weggieboy July 23, 2014 at 12:40

    Whew! I thought my collection was special!

    The twig-tree-ugly-leaf-plant-thingy is something else!

    My weeds are mint (mint and peppermint), some variety of thistle that probably qualifies as a noxious weed the weed control people require be eradicated or else, field bindweed (with a pretty pink flower, though!), field bindweed (with a white flower – so prosaic!), some pretty tiny purple flower-covered weed, classic dandelion, and…

    …well, if I try to grow something nice, the yard people come through with a weedwhacker and wipe out. I decided this year to let things go to hell since the weedwhacker stormtroopers would wipe them out anyway.

    • 141 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 13:32

      *laughing* You should holler at them! Or put up a fence. Now those weeds sound like glorious ones! You know, I’m of the opinion that weeds are very nice. (This is, principally, to convince the weeds not to invade. You see, if they think you like them, they’ll go elsewhere to bother.)

  21. 142 Alastair Savage July 23, 2014 at 12:37

    One of your weeds has escaped, professor, and is hiding in the corner. Don’t let it get away now!

    • 143 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 13:31

      *laughing* Aha! I see the bugger! Why would he want to run, do you think?

      • 144 Alastair Savage July 23, 2014 at 17:15

        He’s in clover in the corner and probably frightened by that prickly plant which is scarily hogging the plant pot.

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:45

        Yes, I noticed that prickly fellow myself. The Mr. R of weeds, you see. Should he be plucked for his rudeness?

  22. 146 Susan P July 23, 2014 at 12:36

    The professor is turning into a regular (or, perhaps irregular) botanist. Some day they may name a Christmas plant for you. Maybe you can get the redoubtable Mr. T interested in it. It might calm is nerves.

    • 147 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 13:31

      Oh, I bet he doesn’t have nerves!

      A Christmas plant. That sounds nice. What would they call it, do you suppose?

      • 148 Susan P July 23, 2014 at 17:32

        I dunno. What do you think?

      • 149 Susan P July 23, 2014 at 17:32

        poinsettia?

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke July 23, 2014 at 19:50

        No! That’s girly!

      • 151 Susan P July 23, 2014 at 23:35

        Poinsettias are wicked mean. They can kill.

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 13:47

        They can?

      • 153 Susan P July 24, 2014 at 14:43

        Well, maybe kill a little bit. But if animals eat mistletoe they can get very sick.
        http://www.petpoisonhelpline.com/2011/02/are-poinsettias-poisonous-to-cats-dogs/

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke July 24, 2014 at 18:04

        Well, then, maybe a double vicious one, then.

      • 155 Susan P July 24, 2014 at 21:26

        I have a little cactus that has some killer spines.

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke July 25, 2014 at 13:34

        I love cactuses…

      • 157 Susan P July 26, 2014 at 17:35

        Mmhmm, Spines and all? Do you cook them first?

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke July 27, 2014 at 15:44

        Dadblameit! I don’t eat them.

      • 159 Susan P July 30, 2014 at 00:30

        You’ve no idea what you are missing.

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:41

        A sore throat is what!

      • 161 Susan P July 30, 2014 at 17:39

        Well, for a man who claims he likes cacti, he certainly keeps his distance from them.

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:01

        Well…I like them to looks at them.

      • 163 Susan P July 31, 2014 at 17:08

        I have to take a photo of the cactus across the street. Doggone thing is a monster.

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 23:36

        Yes, please! You must live in a desert, he thought.

      • 165 Susan P August 1, 2014 at 19:30

        No, I live in a forest.

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 22:15

        I think I do, too.

      • 167 Susan P August 16, 2014 at 18:53

        How do you like it?

      • 168 Professor VJ Duke August 16, 2014 at 18:54

        Pleasant, I think. And pretty.

      • 169 Susan P August 16, 2014 at 19:00

        I agree!

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2014 at 11:41

        *smiles bigly*

      • 171 Susan P August 18, 2014 at 23:26

        Cool. Make sure that you don’t smile so bigly that your smile reaches all the way around your head. GRIN

      • 172 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2014 at 01:29

        Haha! It does that all the time.

      • 173 Susan P August 20, 2014 at 00:41

        I read a book that said that can end with brain leakage.

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke August 20, 2014 at 13:24

        But I don’t know if the professor has a brain.

      • 175 Susan P August 20, 2014 at 13:53

        I saw a scarecrow that had a brain. I can give you a referral.

      • 176 Professor VJ Duke August 20, 2014 at 19:40

        I bet he was ugly!

      • 177 Susan P August 20, 2014 at 21:20

        Actually, he was kind of cute. He was travelling with a lion and a tin man.

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2014 at 00:48

        Did he look like the professor?

      • 179 Susan P August 21, 2014 at 15:42

        How would I know what the Professor looks? He keeps it a secret.

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke August 22, 2014 at 13:24

        I do, huh? *sigh of relief* I might be a mist.

      • 181 Susan P August 22, 2014 at 14:04

        More like a mister.

      • 182 Professor VJ Duke August 23, 2014 at 16:28

        Rats. I wanna be a mist, too.

      • 183 Susan P August 23, 2014 at 18:00

        Maybe in your next life.

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke August 24, 2014 at 17:44

        My real life!

      • 185 Susan P August 24, 2014 at 19:42

        What is real?

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke August 25, 2014 at 13:29

        The professor!

      • 187 Susan P August 25, 2014 at 13:55

        Real. what?

      • 188 Professor VJ Duke August 25, 2014 at 20:27

        Oh yes I am!

      • 189 Susan P August 25, 2014 at 21:00

        You am what you am?

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke August 26, 2014 at 12:39

        Something like that.

      • 191 Susan P August 26, 2014 at 18:40

        *takes notes with intent to study about this*

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke August 26, 2014 at 22:28

        Let me know what you find. I feel dull the sudden. You must sort my mind, please.

      • 193 Susan P August 27, 2014 at 01:35

        Let me get my screw driver and I will get right on it.

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 13:57

        *laughing* A flat one will do.

      • 195 Susan P August 27, 2014 at 15:45

        Oh my! I don’t know if I have time to check all of the files in your head.

      • 196 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 19:36

        I bet there’s only two: PL & music.

      • 197 Susan P August 27, 2014 at 20:12

        I strongly suspect that there may be a few others.

      • 198 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:29

        Huff-Hum, madam!

      • 199 Susan P August 28, 2014 at 21:39

        Well, I hear tell you like to watch duels.

      • 200 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:32

        And bullfights.

      • 201 Susan P August 29, 2014 at 12:57

        You should visit Pamplona for the running of the bulls.

      • 202 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 13:04

        Is it a cruel sport?

      • 203 Susan P August 29, 2014 at 16:51

        Only if you are a human.

      • 204 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:39

        I don’t think I am…

      • 205 Susan P August 29, 2014 at 23:58

        I think I already knew that. :p

      • 206 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:09

        You did? *suddenly relieved*

      • 207 Susan P August 31, 2014 at 18:30

        It’s that green leafy photo that tipped me off.

      • 208 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 19:09

        Oh, that’s right. Hey! You’re messing with my mind.

      • 209 Susan P September 1, 2014 at 12:53

        Moi? jamais dire !!!!

      • 210 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2014 at 14:06

        Cool! You’re swearing at me, I think.

      • 211 Susan P September 2, 2014 at 00:09

        It’s French for I wouldn’t think of saying such a thing. More or less anyway.

      • 212 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 01:07

        You know French too?

      • 213 Susan P September 2, 2014 at 13:07

        Only enough to get into trouble. My dad’s side of the family emigrated from France to Ireland many centuries ago.

      • 214 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:19

        About 10?

      • 215 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 19:35

        In the 1700s – how ever long ago it was.

      • 216 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:42

        About 300 years, I think.

      • 217 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 20:58

        Possibly. Give or take a few.

      • 218 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:52

        *laughs*

      • 219 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 01:35

        Ah! The Professor finds it amusing. *sigh*

      • 220 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:32

        When you’re as old as the professor you will too!

      • 221 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 16:24

        Doubtless I would. Perhaps I might even now.

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:03

        Then we’re square then!

      • 223 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 20:06

        I’m more rectangle.

      • 224 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:08

        And I suppose I’m a circle.

      • 225 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 20:15

        That makes sense. Some days you just go around and around and around….

      • 226 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 00:55

        *laughs* That’s the professor! You can’t bisect my circle, though.

      • 227 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 12:59

        It would no longer be a circle; it would be a half sphere.

      • 228 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:25

        That’s a good point. Well…dadblameit, then.

      • 229 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 19:31

        Now then, you’ll be right dadblameit.

      • 230 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:49

        I’m right every other Monday.

      • 231 Susan P September 6, 2014 at 17:17

        I’m left every day.

      • 232 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 00:59

        *laughing lots*

      • 233 Susan P September 9, 2014 at 19:46

        *hairy eyeball*

      • 234 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:19

        Now that is a wonder!

      • 235 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 18:02

        What does that mean?

      • 236 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:16

        Yes, that’s what I was about to ask?

      • 237 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 23:08

        It’s a trumped up version of the squintee eyes…

      • 238 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:41

        Oh dear! *suddenly nervous*

      • 239 Susan P September 11, 2014 at 21:48

        Don’t be nervous. I won’t look at you.

      • 240 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:53

        Humph noodles!

      • 241 Susan P September 12, 2014 at 19:48

        Nods. that is correct


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Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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