Scientist and Daddy Salami

It was so.

Scientist did turn Daddy Salami into a lizard.

Eventually, the potion wore off and Salami was back to normal.

He was extremely cranky, though. (To read the events that led up to DS’s transformation, read here.)

“You seem to be in a raw mood…” King Arthur said. “And what are you doing in my castle?”

“Where’s me son Ruber at?” Salami’s mouth hung open into a frown.

“How would I possibly know?” Arthur snapped. “Get out.”

“I need ta yell at him, cur-trout!”

“Not my problem.”

Daddy Salami left and made his way to Scientist’s house. (I suppose you can call it a house. I do wonder what the difference is between a house, shanty, hut, and house. And mansion. And house. Enough of this; I’m sidetracked. I apologize.)

Now it just so happened that this professor was in Scientist’s…abode. (Add that to the list, you might as well.)

“Good to see you, Mr. Salami,” Scientist said. “So good-good.”

“Shut yer mouth, cur-belly. What’d ya turn me into a lizard fer, huh?”

“It was an experiment,” Scientist answered good naturedly.

“Yes,” I said. “Scientist’s are usually running experiments. Funny you don’t know that, Salami.”

Daddy Salami turned his green (feral) eyes on me. “Who’s talking ta you?”

The professor took a wild guess. “You are, right?”

“Eww! I’m going to tear our your liver!”

“Never mind that,” Scientist said. “Would either of you two be willing to try this?”

And I fear Scientist was holding a pale blue potion. It was bubbling. With bubbles.

“Not a chance,” Salami said. “I need ta find my son.”

Scientist turned the potion to me. “How about you, Vernon?”

Now, we must get something straight. The “V” in this professor’s name does not stand for “Vernon”. Scientist calls me that for some unknown reasons. I think someone he once knew was called Vernon. But my name is not Vernon. Just ask Smiles Riot (he’s my cousin). He’ll tell you it’s so, too.

“No, thank you,” I said, declining and backing away.

“Where’s me son?” Salami yelled.

“Why?” I asked.

“I need to ask him a question,” Salami answered.

Scientist turned back towards his work. “Your son came in here before you—yea, even before Vernon—and I offered him the pale blue potion. It’s a goody-good potion.”

Both Salami and I glanced at each other.

“Did he drink it?” Salami asked nervously.

“Yes?” I put in.

“Sadly not,” Scientist answered; “but he did take the yellow one. I’m sure you can find him hopping about the room—if you look hard enough.”

With a cry, Salami fell to his knees, searching for Ruber.

This professor left, faster than greased lightning, faster than a slow bullet, fast than a bull, and slower than I should have.

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222 Responses to “Scientist and Daddy Salami”


  1. 1 Jackie August 1, 2014 at 08:04

    Wowawee … dadblamery abounds and debauchery runs amok! Hohum and humho – it’s just another day in PL!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 16:03

      *laughing lots* Love your expressions! And you’re right.

  2. 3 Sonya Solomonovich July 30, 2014 at 05:27

    So Ruber is hopping about the room… I wonder if he’s been turned into a miniature kangaroo?

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:48

      *laughs* That’d be a wonder! Do you suppose it might be a flea?

      • 5 Sonya Solomonovich July 30, 2014 at 18:07

        That was going to be my next guess!

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:07

        Yes, well, either that or a frog or small kangaroo. It’d be bad either way, I fear!

  3. 7 icedmocha34 July 30, 2014 at 01:06

    “It was bubbling. With bubbles.”

    • 8 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:42

      Yes! Aren’t my descriptions descriptive? *laughs*

      • 9 icedmocha34 July 31, 2014 at 00:40

        Yes, very.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:19

        *bows* Many thanks, madam.

      • 11 icedmocha34 July 31, 2014 at 18:25

        *curtsy*

  4. 12 Susan P July 30, 2014 at 00:39

    Heavens to Betsy! Someone needs to stop that bad bad Scientist!! NOW!!!

    • 13 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:42

      He’s harmless, don’t you think?

      • 14 Susan P July 30, 2014 at 17:41

        Harmless? You mean like Hannibal Lecter?

      • 15 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:03

        The real harmful one is Mason Verger…. *runs and screams*

      • 16 Susan P July 31, 2014 at 17:10

        How is that possible?

      • 17 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 23:37

        Have you seen him?

      • 18 Susan P August 1, 2014 at 19:33

        But Lector made him do it.

      • 19 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 22:16

        Lector is no match for Hector!

      • 20 Susan P August 16, 2014 at 18:54

        Have you tested that theory?

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke August 16, 2014 at 18:55

        No…should I?

      • 22 Susan P August 16, 2014 at 19:01

        Um. Let me think about that.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke August 18, 2014 at 11:42

        I don’t think I should.

      • 24 Susan P August 18, 2014 at 23:27

        Okay. I suppose I can live with that.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke August 19, 2014 at 01:30

        Or we can burry it.

      • 26 Susan P August 20, 2014 at 00:42

        Burry it? What sort of hobby is that?

      • 27 Professor VJ Duke August 20, 2014 at 13:25

        A horrid one, I admit. But we wouldn’t be able to hear it screaming then.

      • 28 Susan P August 20, 2014 at 13:54

        There is that. But wouldn’t sitting on his head accomplish the same thing?

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke August 20, 2014 at 19:40

        Yes, that’s a good point. Probably less painful too.

      • 30 Susan P August 20, 2014 at 21:22

        I’m all about less pain. Unless someone needs a real kick in the head.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke August 21, 2014 at 00:48

        Like the professor.

      • 32 Susan P August 21, 2014 at 15:56

        Well, if you get your burro, you can get him to kick you in the head.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke August 22, 2014 at 13:24

        But why? *shocked face*

      • 34 Susan P August 22, 2014 at 14:07

        Instead of getting kicked in the head he can sit on your head.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke August 23, 2014 at 16:31

        That might crush the poor thing.

      • 36 Susan P August 23, 2014 at 18:02

        We all must do our part.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke August 24, 2014 at 17:45

        Won’t do it!

      • 38 Susan P August 24, 2014 at 19:44

        Okay. *throws a box of raisins* As you wish.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke August 25, 2014 at 13:31

        *laughs* Hehaha!

  5. 40 Lady Cheetah July 30, 2014 at 00:04

    Oh dear! There you go with the cliff hanger. Such torture.

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:38

      Well, DS might get cranky. Should I finish the story up next week, Lady?

      • 42 Lady Cheetah July 30, 2014 at 17:23

        If you turn him into a frog yes.

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 12:55

        DS is too powerful for that, isn’t he?

  6. 44 Catherine July 29, 2014 at 23:48

    Oh dear. Although I wouldn’t have drunk the potion, I do wonder what it would have done! You definitely did the right thing, though, Professor.

    • 45 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:37

      Yes, definitely. I mean…it would be neat to turn into something else, maybe. But not turn into something that Scientist designed.

      • 46 Catherine July 31, 2014 at 04:55

        You’re right. I’m not sure I trust Scientist…maybe another…scientist. With a lowercase “s”. It seems to make a whole lot of difference.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:22

        It does, you’re right. It makes the whole matter less intimidating–which is a good thing. (That’s why I call myself ‘professor’ and not ‘Professor’)

      • 48 Catherine August 1, 2014 at 15:19

        Aha. It IS a whole lot less intimidating. But then again, Scientist may have wanted to be intimidating. He sounds like the sort of scientist who might.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 16:10

        Yes, he does. Intimidate people into drinking his potions!

      • 50 Catherine August 2, 2014 at 19:42

        I’m glad the professor wasn’t intimidated into that. I hope I wouldn’t be either!

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke August 3, 2014 at 22:40

        I”m sure of it, Catherine!

      • 52 Catherine August 4, 2014 at 03:45

        Aw, thank you for your faith in me, professor!

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 13:22

        *bows* *and smiles bigly*

  7. 54 The Dancing Rider July 29, 2014 at 21:48

    This was a great follow-up, and I read it with relish. Not literally, of course.

    Love Daddy Salami’s variation of cur-ness, specially phrased for Arthur. “Cur-trout” really fits, doesn’t it?!

    I was especially happy to hear such a potion could actually work on DS. Despite my like of DS, this potion could come in handy in the future.

    Bold of the Professor to take a snipe at DS with that remark about what scientist’s do. Those feral green eyes … eek! I love how Scientist just “never minded” and tried to get someone to down yet another questionable concoction!

    Oh no! DS is going to be super angry, both with Scientist AND with Ruber! Hopping??????

    Despite how the Professor (aka: Vernon) left, it appears you did get away. Probably in the nick of cur-time! :)

    • 55 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:39

      *laughs* Many thanks, DR!

      It does! You know, it paints the picture in my mind that Art is shaped like a trout! *laughing*

      You mean you might use it on DS? *shock face* But I do see the wisdom in it.

      Yes, I think Scientist is very peaceable. And he doesn’t seem to care about anything but his experiments. It was a professorish brave moment! I had to try!

      *laughs* Well…possibly a flea, do you think? I do wonder, though, if DS will hurt Scientist.

      No Vernon, dadblameit!

      • 56 The Dancing Rider July 30, 2014 at 13:19

        Ok, no further “Vernon” references! ;-)

        I don’t think DS will hurt Scientist. He needs Scientist for his entertainment — when others are subject to Scientist’s experiments!

        It’s not that *I* would necessarily use a potion on DS, but someone in the PL might have to from time to time!

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:50

        But do you think it fits?

        So true! I bet you’re right. He’ll keep him around. But he will want Ruber back.

        I might, you know!

      • 58 The Dancing Rider July 30, 2014 at 19:36

        DS will always want Ruber back!

        Since I do not know the Professor, it is quite difficult to say if “Vernon” fits. However, it does start with a “V”. That much I can say. ;-)

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:10

        Yes, he loves him, you know.

        Very wise indeed. I’m not sure if it fits or not, really.

  8. 60 Angeline M July 29, 2014 at 21:44

    You left slower than you should have, Vernon? Do, pray tell, what does that mean? The scientist is a scientist, but still rather mischievous me thinks. And there is that Daddy Salami exclamation that I love so much, “cur-trout”. This has been a most delicious story today.

    • 61 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:36

      *laughing* Well…you mean what does Vernon mean?

      Many thanks. Yes, cur-trout is awesome. But don’t you think Scientist is a little uncaring?

      • 62 Angeline M July 30, 2014 at 05:05

        Very!

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:44

        Something should be done about it.

  9. 64 erinkenobi2893 July 29, 2014 at 20:09

    Ruber did that on purpose, I think. Just to escape DS for a while. :-P

    • 65 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:30

      A good possibility. I might do it. Then again, I’d just run away. Then again, DS chases people that run away. Then again, I’d stand and fight. Then again, DS is scary…

      • 66 erinkenobi2893 July 30, 2014 at 18:02

        And while you stood and fought, I’d sneak up behind DS and throw him to the ground. And then we would outnumber him!

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:06

        But what if he got really vicious?

      • 68 erinkenobi2893 July 31, 2014 at 14:06

        Then I’d threaten him with my lightsaber.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 23:20

        Your green one?

      • 70 erinkenobi2893 August 1, 2014 at 12:07

        I don’t really have another one… I have been working on a second lightsaber to match, in case I lose my first one.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 16:05

        You can have my spare red, if you’d like.

      • 72 erinkenobi2893 August 1, 2014 at 22:24

        No, that’s fine. ;-) You’ll probably need your spare at some point, especially if Anakin comes around and “borrows” your non-spare lightsaber. :-P

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke August 3, 2014 at 22:29

        Would he fight with a red one?

      • 74 erinkenobi2893 August 3, 2014 at 23:31

        I don’t think he cares about the color.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 13:09

        Yes, that’s the impression I got too. You have to love his reckless attitude.

      • 76 erinkenobi2893 August 4, 2014 at 13:23

        That depends on one’s viewpoint, really….
        “Red is not my color.” ~Obi-Wan

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 13:25

        Oh, he’s too opinionated!

      • 78 erinkenobi2893 August 4, 2014 at 15:50

        No, not really. I mean, can you see him wearing red?! Ugh. (I almost wish I could make him wear something green for a change, though. :-P)

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 23:42

        Isn’t he always wearing tan stuff?

      • 80 erinkenobi2893 August 5, 2014 at 16:44

        Yeah, but try to dress him in red? That would be horrible. Poor Obi-Wan.

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke August 5, 2014 at 19:15

        Yes, I agree. He wouldn’t look good like Santa.

      • 82 erinkenobi2893 August 5, 2014 at 20:17

        *shudders at the thought* Brown is good. (He still could be a wizard!)

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2014 at 13:29

        He could!

      • 84 erinkenobi2893 August 6, 2014 at 14:51

        (I’m a green wizard! ^_^ And more antics in Camelot will be publishing soon! :-D )

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2014 at 20:32

        Yes! Just read that you got accepted.

      • 86 erinkenobi2893 August 6, 2014 at 23:13

        :-D Working on the next installment in the series. ;-)

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2014 at 14:25

        *fist pump*

      • 88 erinkenobi2893 August 7, 2014 at 17:09

        It is being such a pest, though. The one after has Jango!

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2014 at 18:35

        Nice! He’s one of my favs! You should put…Darth Duke in it.

      • 90 erinkenobi2893 August 8, 2014 at 00:34

        I just might… I think Darth Duke would be off doing his own thing, though, and that’s the only way he’d come into conflict with Obi-Wan.
        Hmmm, that gives me an idea… I’ll have to ask my friend Waros for permission… (I almost typed “persimmon” there… again… *head desks, repeatedly*)

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2014 at 14:28

        You know, if I met Obi, I probably wouldn’t fight him. I’d have a lot of respect for him, you know.

        *laughs*

      • 92 erinkenobi2893 August 9, 2014 at 18:14

        That’s true… hmmm… I am getting ideas. :-P You’re not like a lot of Sith, you know. Most Sith don’t respect worthy opponents. For that matter, neither do a lot of Jedi… though you must admit, there aren’t a heck of a lot of WORTHY opponents in the Star Wars movies… :-P
        You know what would be fun? Trapping a fly in between the window sealant plastic shrink wrap stuff and the window and seeing how long before it dies… :-P

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2014 at 22:13

        See? I’m a special Sith!

        *laughs* That would be fun. Sounds like Anakin might do a thing like that, you know.

      • 94 erinkenobi2893 August 10, 2014 at 12:17

        Or a wasp! That would be cooler.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2014 at 18:24

        Wasps deserve it!

      • 96 erinkenobi2893 August 10, 2014 at 18:41

        They do indeed.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2014 at 12:58

        *nods*

      • 98 erinkenobi2893 August 11, 2014 at 16:56

        Let us scientifically execute one. :-P

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2014 at 17:02

        If we must, okay.

      • 100 erinkenobi2893 August 12, 2014 at 12:04

        :-P

  10. 101 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 29, 2014 at 18:23

    A lizard? Seems kinda appropriate for DS. *laughing*

    Your first name is Vernon!!! *winks* I think you’re trying to confuse us, Duke.

    • 102 erinkenobi2893 July 29, 2014 at 20:10

      *shrug* I think Vernon is a nice name, anyway. :-P

      • 103 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 29, 2014 at 20:18

        Vernon is a perfect name.

      • 104 erinkenobi2893 July 29, 2014 at 20:19

        It is. Which makes me wonder, why didn’t I name Winter’s teacher that? :-/

      • 105 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 29, 2014 at 20:29

        It’s never too late. :)

      • 106 erinkenobi2893 July 29, 2014 at 20:45

        It is if he’s mentally been named something else. :-/ I guess I’ll just save it for another occasion. ;-)

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:32

        Too bad it’s not my name now. Rats and a Heifer!

      • 108 erinkenobi2893 July 30, 2014 at 18:17

        :-P

      • 109 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 30, 2014 at 04:53

        Save the name and we can all rejoice when it comes around again. :)

      • 110 erinkenobi2893 July 30, 2014 at 18:17

        Good idea. I shall do that. ;-)

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:24

      Yes, doesn’t it? I feel bad for the chap. I should write a book, Audith. Oh! How’s yours coming?

      It’s not Vernon! It’s…I can’t tell!

      • 112 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 30, 2014 at 05:02

        My guess is his treating poorly of Ruber was bound to catch up with him. I thought you already were writing a book, dear?
        Mine? Look!! Bigfoot! *goes off deep into the forest where no one can hear* *walks even further*

        I didn’t really think it was, Duke. Vernon Duke doesn’t really sound like you… I know you can’t tell. Is it… Nonrev? That’s Vernon backwards. ..

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:44

        Oh, DS isn’t that bad! Well…I don’t know if I am or not. *follows* Won’t work. I’m determined to know the answer, Audith!

        Well, it’s not that either. *smiles bigly*

      • 114 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 30, 2014 at 20:37

        Oh, he is sorta bad. Mean to Ruber, don’t you think so? Well, isn’t that something you should know?? I know you are… *decides to hold your hand and pull you further inside the deep forest* It’s almost done… *buys time*

        I thought smiles bigly was code for Audith is correct…hmm. Nonrev is a nice name, Duke. *giggle*

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:11

        Yes! That’s great news. Finishing a novel is a big deal, Audith. You should be proud. How’s it going?

        *laughs* Well…it’s an ugly name!

      • 116 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister July 31, 2014 at 17:25

        Thank you, Duke! Yeah, it feels so strange. Proud? Not yet… well, the hump that had me confused worked its way out. I think finishing will come easily. I guess I’ll know when the end presents itself? I don’t know..

        Sorta is, if Nonrev isn’t your name. If it is your name then its my favorite name ever. *winks*

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 23:49

        Yes, I think the you’ll know the end when it comes. Will you tell me when it’s done?

        *laughs* My name is Brian.

      • 118 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 1, 2014 at 03:05

        Tis what I thought, Duke. Tell you? What will you do? Do you really think you want to read it?

        *shocked* No it isn’t. ..

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 15:59

        I’d love to read it! That is, if you want my eyes to soil it…

        *laughs* It isn’t that shocking! But it’s not, you’re right.

      • 120 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 1, 2014 at 19:38

        We’ll see about that. I am super shy about what I’ve written right now and handing it over to you would shatter my confidence, maybe. You would be so shocked, Duke. I mean shocked.

        See!!! I knew it!!! At one point you told me I was close to figuring out who you were and you couldn’t be more wrong. I have no idea who you are, but I do know you are not Brian. *laughs* I do know you are frusterating the heck out of me. I do know that… *blows up the state of Texas*

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 22:17

        I understand completely. But I think I know what you think may shock me. Romance, right?

        *laughing lots* *and smiles proudly* The question is, would you know me even if you saw me?

      • 122 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 2, 2014 at 03:04

        Well, yes, a lot of romance. You are heartless, if my memory serves me well, so you wouldn’t want to read my book. Amelia is vicious, probably.

        Stop it! *giggle* No, I wouldn’t know that it was you if I walked by you on the street. Pft!

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke August 3, 2014 at 22:32

        But I’d really enjoy reading it for a good friend. Plus, heartless doesn’t mean…I’m completely against romance. Romance with viciousness is good. Romance with killing is the best. Is Amelia like Audith a bit?

        And why not?

      • 124 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 4, 2014 at 02:04

        I appreciate you saying that, Duke. Thank you. Heartless romantic? Hmmm. Seems confusing to me. Like Jason Bourne? Or a Vampire?

        Amelia is like me, which is why I need to hack this up. She became me and I’m not sure what to do with that. Did you ever read that short flash fiction She Waits With Music that I wrote? It’s almost as if that story, which I wrote before knowing any better brought me to the book, and became a reality of sorts.

        It isn’t my fault! All yours.

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 13:19

        Well…like Hector! But, yes, that’s the idea. *smiles bigly*

        Just read it. That seems as if it would be an excellent book indeed. I mean, I’d like to read more. Her name changed, huh?

        I take the blame!

      • 126 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 4, 2014 at 15:29

        We’re back to Hector. Let me go out on this tree limb here… *sits carefully* and say, “I fear we’ll learn nothing new going this route.”

        It really is nothing like that first fiction piece, really. Or it is. Ugh. I never know what to say. Her name changed when I decided to continue. Ambrosia is a strange name. I had to go with my favorite female name. Amelia was a strong pilot, you know.

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 23:33

        You’re probably right. Where should we go, then?

        She was a pilot?

      • 128 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 5, 2014 at 00:39

        I’m not sure, but should move. *sees the lion approaching*

        Amelia Earhard was…I’m a fan of her courage.

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke August 5, 2014 at 13:41

        Let’s hunt it! *gets ready to hide*

        I’d pull out her hair!

      • 130 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 5, 2014 at 21:45

        Okay! Do you have a plan? *hides behind you*

        Why??? Tell me!

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2014 at 13:34

        Not yet! But I’ll get one.

        Didn’t she try to be too manly?

      • 132 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 6, 2014 at 15:43

        *checks her watch* I trust you, you know. But hurry!

        Definitely was, but I admire her desire to try.

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke August 6, 2014 at 20:36

        *pulls Audith behind a few rocks*

        So do I, then.

      • 134 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 7, 2014 at 00:08

        *feels safe* Is she hungry, Duketh?

        *sighs* Thank you.

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2014 at 14:28

        Nah. Just sniffing around.

      • 136 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 7, 2014 at 15:12

        Maybe she’s looking for a pig.

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke August 7, 2014 at 18:26

        Well, she can’t fine me behind the rock!

      • 138 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 7, 2014 at 22:24

        You’re no pig!

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2014 at 14:21

        *laughing* It was wicked, I admit.

      • 140 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 9, 2014 at 17:44

        *laughs* Glad you can admit it.

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke August 9, 2014 at 22:05

        Of course!

      • 142 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 10, 2014 at 03:07

        What are you listening to today?

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke August 10, 2014 at 18:19

        Run Lama Run!

      • 144 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 10, 2014 at 21:31

        Where’s the llama?

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke August 11, 2014 at 12:59

        I’m not sure, actually.

      • 146 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 11, 2014 at 18:35

        Oh. I hear him spitting…

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke August 12, 2014 at 00:21

        He’s running, poor bloke.

      • 148 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 12, 2014 at 04:47

        Wonder why? Suppose he’s training?

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke August 12, 2014 at 12:56

        Or just looking for food.

      • 150 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 12, 2014 at 15:57

        I’m not food. Are you?

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke August 12, 2014 at 20:01

        Of course not!

      • 152 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 13, 2014 at 01:28

        Then look busy…

  11. 153 masgautsen July 29, 2014 at 17:51

    Nice to see that Salami cares about Ruber!

    • 154 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 18:02

      For sure! You know, sometimes I have my doubts. Do you suppose Scientist is nice overall? I think I do.

      • 155 masgautsen July 30, 2014 at 08:08

        Scientist is probably, like many a great mind, just to absorbed by sciense to remember to take much notice of other people’s feelings and thoughts.

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:49

        That’s right on. Maybe he should be put in a safety center or something?

  12. 157 Simply Skeptical July 29, 2014 at 17:22

    Hee, hee, hee. It’s nice to see Salami really does care about his boy afterall. (Laughing) Poor Scientist. He’s really harmless. It’s not like he forces his potiions on anyone.

    • 158 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 18:00

      Yes, quite right. That’s exactly how I feel about Scientist, SS. It’s a wonder he’s hated!

  13. 159 InfiniteZip July 29, 2014 at 15:38

    I think the scientist should be drawn and quartered. He is mean.

    • 160 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 17:54

      *laughs* Goodness! Really? But why?

      • 161 InfiniteZip July 30, 2014 at 09:24

        Sometimes change is not good, turning people into creatures is not nice….

      • 162 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:49

        But wouldn’t you like to be a dragon?

      • 163 InfiniteZip July 31, 2014 at 09:03

        no, too tough skin, I like silky, not reptilian:(

      • 164 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:23

        Is silky skin real?

      • 165 InfiniteZip July 31, 2014 at 15:15

        Yes, very much so….lots of lotion;)

      • 166 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 23:25

        Lotion sounds deadly.

  14. 167 L. Marie July 29, 2014 at 15:05

    I’m glad you said no to the potion. Who knows what would have happened. Unless like Wart in The Once and Future King you liked being turned into creatures.
    It sounds like someone needs to grab Scientist and force him to drink one of his own potions.

    • 168 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 17:53

      I wouldn’t mind turning into creatures, if I could turn normal again! (Though I’m never normal.)

      Yes…but doesn’t he seem like a happy chap overall?

      • 169 L. Marie July 30, 2014 at 13:25

        Yes. Fiendishly happy.

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:52

        *laughing* That’s just perfect.

  15. 171 Debbie July 29, 2014 at 14:59

    I know Scientist is just doing what scientists do, but it seems to me that he’s up to no good. Turning people into animals? (Not that I’d mind changing places with Dallas once in a while, ha!) Anyway, good for you that you scooted out of there before he insisted on your trying his potion — but alas, what happened to Ruber??

    • 172 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 17:53

      Well, I think Ruber drank a potion, and… It’s rather dastardly from there, you see. Yes, I agree: Scientist should be stopped. But doesn’t he seem to happy to stop?

  16. 173 FictionFan July 29, 2014 at 13:24

    Well, Vernon (I think it suits you terribly well, by the way) I think you should have taken the blue potion. Would a true hero walk away from such an exciting adventure? It may have turned you into a huge glistening green serpent, or given you the ability to dance! Now we’ll never know… *shakes head sadly*

    On the bright side, the idea of Ruber as a frog is most amusing. I bet he’ll be hopping mad…

    • 174 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member July 29, 2014 at 15:44

      I think it suits him well too…

      • 175 FictionFan July 29, 2014 at 16:40

        Hopefully Scientist will reveal what the ‘J’ is for too…I reckon it’s Jedi.

    • 176 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 17:51

      Well, if I would have taken it, then you would call me dull! (Just like you do to John Carter!) I can’t dance, because I have two left feet. Vernon…but it’s not my name, you know.

      *laughing* I thought you liked him!

      • 177 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member July 29, 2014 at 18:16

        It fits nonetheless… Vernon Jedi Duke.

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:23

        It does not fit! I’ll call you…well, you know.

      • 179 FictionFan July 29, 2014 at 21:34

        Well, that depends what it did to you! It might have been amazing… (But heroic!) Excuses, excuses! I don’t know – it might be! You could be performing a double-bluff…

        Who, Ruber? The homicidal poisoner? Hmm…he might be safer as a frog…

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:33

        Don’t you think Vernon is an ugly name? I mean, it makes VJ Duke even uglier–which is very improbable. I’m proud of my excuses… *proud face*

        *laughs* Unless, Scientist meant a flea…

      • 181 FictionFan July 30, 2014 at 15:57

        Oh, I won’t be drawn on passing judgement on names when I don’t know whether it’s your real one or not! What will you call Nick?

        Ah, perhaps! Then he should be stomped on, I fear. Sad humo(u)r!

      • 182 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:55

        You’re too smart for me! Hmm…perhaps Chaps?

        *laughing* I do feel bad for Ruber. But he’d jump out of the way…and into someone’s hair!

      • 183 FictionFan July 30, 2014 at 22:33

        Is he a cowboy?

        Hopefully DS’s…

      • 184 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:17

        I don’t think so… I should ask.

        DS would probably manage to catch him somehow.

      • 185 FictionFan July 31, 2014 at 16:26

        Then why Chaps?

        Yes, he’s probably used to fleas…

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 23:31

        Honestly, tis the first name that popped into the mind.

        *laughs* And Schwarz, I’ll bet!

      • 187 FictionFan August 1, 2014 at 13:46

        You mean…you fibbed?!?

        Always so mean about my Schwarzy – it’s so c&a!

      • 188 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 16:08

        Well…maybe a lie…just maybe…

        I can’t always be c&a!

      • 189 FictionFan August 1, 2014 at 18:21

        *shocked face* Well! Wait till I tell BUS!!

        I think I’ll be the judge of that, sir!

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke August 1, 2014 at 22:11

        BUS won’t mind one bits! (Was in a tennis store today. I was looking at racquets. So Rafa’s face everywhere!)

        That’s not fair, though…

      • 191 FictionFan August 2, 2014 at 19:44

        You hope!!! (*chuckles* *chortles* Sorry! Just couldn’t avoid thinking of badminton there… Lucky you, though…waht about his biceps?)

        Good noodles! You’ll be demanding democracy next! But if we put it to a vote amongst the whole PFC, I reckon the I’d still win…

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke August 3, 2014 at 22:41

        Badminton? Oh! You mean me playing badminton? I hope you don’t. I didn’t notice his biceps. They’re ugly, I bet!

        You probably would–which is a good thing. But…it’s still not fair! Can’t we just call me ugly?

      • 193 FictionFan August 4, 2014 at 14:43

        I do! *still chuckling* Jealous, jealous, jealous!

        OK, Ugly! (Is that better?)

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 15:25

        *hangs head* I was good at it, wouldn’t you know, dadblameit!

        Much better! You can call me hideous, if you like, too.

      • 195 FictionFan August 4, 2014 at 17:48

        I believe you! Honestly! No, really…I do! *chuckles quietly*

        Okay, Hideous! Can I call you Monstrous too?

      • 196 Professor VJ Duke August 4, 2014 at 23:46

        Yes, me and my tennis racquet were good at it, I should say.

        No…not monstrous. How about…V?

      • 197 FictionFan August 5, 2014 at 01:34

        I bet you were – with all those biceps! I pity the person on the receiving end of that supersonic shuttlecock!

        V? Is that as in the alien V? How about…C-W-W?

      • 198 Professor VJ Duke August 5, 2014 at 13:48

        *laughs* Yes, I hit them far! Our game extend all the way back…as far as one could hit it!

        You know I love that best!

      • 199 FictionFan August 5, 2014 at 18:03

        But does your aim match your superstrength? *imagines the shock of the astronauts on the space station as an unexpected feathery meteorite whizzes by*

        *big smile* Me too, C-W-W!

      • 200 Professor VJ Duke August 5, 2014 at 19:19

        *laughing* Well…sometimes! It really depends… (I bet Mark would like such a thing!)

        *blushes–maybe*

  17. 201 Alastair Savage July 29, 2014 at 13:20

    How can Daddy Salami be sure that he was a man turned into a lizard? Perhaps he was a lizard that had been turned into a man and then turned back to a reptile. I know you tell us it isn’t so, professor, but, well, you’re what those Arts grads call an unreliable narrator, aren’t you?

    • 202 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 17:49

      Definitely, Alastair. The professor is definitely an unreliable narrator, but I try to be specific. Well…it’s quite possible…do you think that’s what happened?

  18. 203 PorterGirl July 29, 2014 at 13:12

    Well, Scientist certainly is a fine fellow for making mischief isn’t he?! But I do like it when people get turned into things. I wouldn’t mind being a frog or a lizard, as long as I could turn back to me again afterwards. I would run up people’s trouser legs and bite them on the… knee!

    • 204 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 13:18

      *laughing lots* How horribly wicked (and awesome) of you! I’d like to bite lots of people’s knees that I know of. Wouldn’t you rather be a bat?

      • 205 PorterGirl July 29, 2014 at 14:12

        Yes! A bat would be great. Then I could fly. I think I recall us having a conversation about if we could fly we would swoop down and steal people’s picnics. I would certainly do that if I was a bat. But at night.

      • 206 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 17:52

        Yes, I remember. Would be very fun. Though I think we’d have to hunt far for a picnic at night.

      • 207 PorterGirl July 29, 2014 at 18:35

        That’s true. Although, there might be barbeques we can swoop on?

      • 208 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:24

        *laughs* Yes! That would be such fun. I’d like to go visit The Dean as a bat!

      • 209 PorterGirl July 30, 2014 at 07:17

        *squeals* Yes! Visiting The Dean as a bat!! Genius. If I can think of a way of writing that into the story I certainly will. Oh, the possibilities..!

      • 210 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:48

        *laughing lots and lots* Poor chap. We wouldn’t want to kill him but–super cool!

      • 211 PorterGirl July 30, 2014 at 19:17

        *whispers* between you and me – there is no way that The Dean will die. Don’t tell anyone!

      • 212 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:09

        Awesome! I hope no one wants him dead!

      • 213 PorterGirl July 31, 2014 at 13:12

        There are probably a few who might. But they will never succeed!

      • 214 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:26

        *fist pump* Yes!

  19. 215 walt walker July 29, 2014 at 13:09

    I hope you didn’t crush him under foot on your way out!

    • 216 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 13:17

      Well…he shouldn’t have drunk it! Walt, what would you do upon meeting Scientist?

      • 217 walt walker July 29, 2014 at 20:30

        You’re right. It would be his own fault.

        First off, I would be wearing a space suit or some such, because I’m uncomfortable with this glowing environment of his.

        Second I would refuse any and all offers of food or beverage, bubbling, smoking or otherwise, because I get the sense you just can’t be sure.

        Third, well I don’t know what. And fourth, I would probably walk through a car wash on the way home, in my suit, just to be sure.

      • 218 Professor VJ Duke July 29, 2014 at 23:31

        *laughing lots* You see, Walt, you are very wise. Wiser than the professor. I should emulate you–your plan, I mean. Do you suppose the Scientist wouldn’t try and…break in?

      • 219 walt walker July 30, 2014 at 02:37

        Into the suit? Well that wouldn’t be possible. It’s an outer space suit, you see. Nothing can get in or out. No potions, no space, no nothing. And nothing is what space is. So there is that to consider, too.

      • 220 Professor VJ Duke July 30, 2014 at 16:43

        Very good point. But if nothing can get in…why, Walt, how do you get in?

      • 221 walt walker July 30, 2014 at 19:11

        Hmm? Oh… Well, yes, you see… I mean, er. That is. I don’t think I can tell you. I mean, I don’t think I should. I’m not at liberty, you see. This suit would….well, I might get in trouble.

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke July 31, 2014 at 13:09

        *laughs* Yes, probably something I overlooked. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.


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