The contents of this story are only rumors, but Manly-Man has supplied some of the text himself. So it’s an accurate rumor at the very least. Depending on whether you believe MM or not…
The lightning struck the building.
And it struck the building.
And it struck the building.
You get the point.
It liked to strike the building.
Finally, the little lightning rod had disintegrated—this was no normal lightning storm.
Prince Beef was standing on one of the verandas of his palace, with many of his servants and advisors.
The White House, not overly far from his palace, wasn’t going to last much longer. But that hadn’t stopped Prince Beef and his company from watching the lightning with incredible interest, as it struck the building, and even venturing to cheer at a few of the strokes.
Prince Beef never had liked the man who lived in the White House, the general and sole commander of America’s army. (Which implies that Prince Beef doesn’t have much political power.)
Then the lightning struck again.
The roof went up in flames.
There was nothing but silence on Prince Beef’s veranda now. This was… I guess they thought it was very weird. By now, it was quite clear that the lightning was anything but natural.
I haven’t mentioned yet that it was night-time, and it was a clear sky, have I?
Obviously, someone with the power of controlling lightning had been made angry. By America.
The lightning didn’t stop when the roof of the White House went up in flames, though. It just kept striking.
And it didn’t stop striking until the White House was nothing more than a pile of smoldering rubble.
Then Prince Beef’s phone rang. He answered it. “Yes?” More than a little annoyed to be interrupted at watching such a scene.
Yes, he’s weird.
“Hey, Beefy, I’s angry. If you doesn’t done get your dudes out of my place in five more minutes, your palace is next,” Manly-man said. He didn’t sound angry.
Prince Beef couldn’t talk for a moment. He couldn’t believe he had been called Beefy.
Before Prince Beef could say anything, Manly-Man continued, “I’s tried to have talks with your stupid general…but he was stubborn.”
“My man!” Prince Beef said. “There will be no deals, and there’ll be no threats, you scheming swine!” I don’t think the prince even knew what he was talking about.
“Hey, I’s give you five minutes to think about it. My little wrestling arena don’t hurt nobody.”
“How you yak on. I have no idea what you’re speaking about!”
“Oh, but you better find out. I’s give you five minutes. Thanks. Bye.” Manly-Man hung up.
I think Prince Beef was worried despite himself. Manly-Man wasn’t one to be played with. Despite what he would say on the subject. So the prince had his men look into the matter. What could possibly have made Manly-Man angry?
Now, while Prince Beef struggles to find out something he should have known, I think there is some information I need to tell you.
You see, there are a few theories on where Manly-Man got the power to use lightning from. This was not the first time he used it, though it usually was rare.
Some people say that Manly-Man can do it with his mechanical suit, or that he somehow has control over storm clouds. But it’s neither of these.
Here is the rumor I’m pretty sure of. Manly-Man is unnaturally strong, and it is said that years ago he was able to convince the ‘god’ Zeus that he was Hercules. And after that, he was able to get into Zeus’s lightning machine (which is merged with a computer that allows him to see everything [editor’s note: One of the SuperComputers]) and strike almost anything in the world with lightning.
The god Zeus is a totally different subject. He…and his other ‘gods’ are complicated. Not really gods, of course, just strange Punchyish beings. Whatever.
Prince Beef’s men came and told him what was what. The general had ordered a raid of Manly-Man’s world-famous and world-popular fighting arena.
They had shut it down because Manly-Man refused to pay taxes.
Just as Prince Beef got this information, the lightning began to strike.
Prince Beef called Manly-Man.
“Hey, yeah?” Manly-Man sounded busy.
“I will remove my troops from the building, if you repay me for the loss of the White House.”
“Hey…I can’t hear you. All this lightning is getting in my ears.”
“My man! You listen to me. Or there will be no deals!”
“Oh… there goes your lightning rod. It went fast.”
The thunder was very loud now.
“We have to evacuate, sir!” a servant yelled. And then the servant ran.
Prince Beef had no choice but to follow, even as he tried to reason with Manly-Man.
Once out on the lawn, the prince said, “Now, my man, quit striking my buildings with—”
At that moment, the entire palace went up, as three successive bolts hit it. The resulting thunder was deafening.
“Oh no,” Manly-Man said.
Prince Beef just stared at the palace. It began to crumble.
“So…does you want to get your troops out now?” Manly-Man asked.
And Manly-Man won that day. With Prince Beef in the open, the prince had no choice but to listen. Mr. Magi was nowhere in the area, either, so Manly-Man had free rein. Mr. Magi was probably napping…
So, there you have it. One of the famous feats of Manly-Man. He got his arena back, I assure you.