I was having breakfast with Fats Henry, in his palace, on Fat Man Island.
There were all sorts of tasty things to eat for breakfast. Including some kind of roach that was at the very center of the table.
The tablecloth was ugly, by the way.
And I wasn’t very hungry, by the other way.
But Fats Henry was, by the last way.
“So,” Henry bellowed (at least, it was far louder than it needed to be), “what are you doing these days, P.VJ?”
The professor hates that question worst of any. Or worst of all. I decided I’d be honest on the matter, a dangerous path to take if you’re an obnoxious liar.
“I hate that question so much,” I began, “that I can’t begin to tell you how much I hate it in front of the roaches.” I motioned to the half-empty bowl on the table.
“Don’t worry about the roaches,” Henry said as he took another, “they’re already dead, which you might be if you don’t answer my question—now!”
Before I could answer, we were joined by another guest, Mr. Magi.
“Be nice, Fat Man,” he said as he took a seat across from me. “Nice to see you, P.VJ.”
The professor nodded. “Nice to see you, too.”
From the look of how Mr. Magi’s eyes looked—I know that was a bit confusing—he didn’t seem to like the bowl of roaches.
“So,” Henry roared, “what have you been up to, Mr. Magi?”
“Well,” Mr. Magi began, “I have been going about the earth.”
“Why aren’t you two eating anything?” Henry suddenly asked.
“I’m not hungry,” Mr. Magi said.
“Neither am I,” I added.
A voice rang out, “But I am, ya curs!”
And that’s when we were joined by Daddy Salami.
“These roaches are disgusting,” Salami said. And with one sudden movement, he knocked the bowl to the floor.
Henry looked up. “What’d you just do, huh?”
“Keep ya cur tongue from flapping in yer cur mouth!” Salami returned.
“Why you—” Henry began, but Mr. Mag said:
“Quite enough of that, young men!”
And that was that.
There was silence for a bit.
Mr. Magi took off his top hat, and gloves. Then he said, “Why did you invite us here, Fat Man? Was it just for breakfast? I thought you might have something important to tell us.”
“Yes,” this professor said. “Breakfast and I don’t get along. I came for the news.”
Daddy Salami laughed. “I came for the food. Keep your information! Hehaha.”
Henry scowled—bigly. “I didn’t invite any of you!”
And that was a dadblamery of dadblameries.
(Part 2 tomorrow!)