“Juice is better than milk.”
We were at a late night party. And we were outside.
People were everywhere.
Schwarz, Mr. Ratherquite, and this professor were standing off alone, by a table that was very tall, and had an ugly candle on it.
This professor was pleased that the candle didn’t stink, like most candles do.
“Yes, sir,” Mr. Ratherquite said again, “juice is better than milk. It tastes better, it has more vitamins, and it’s better for you.”
Schwarz shook his head. “Nah. Don’t believe you–tell you what!”
“Sir! And why not?” Mr. Ratherquite seemed surprised that Schwarz disagreed.
“Well, because,” Schwarz answered, “milk is whiter; therefore, it’s got more vitamins.”
(Thinking about it now, PF, I’m sure we could draw some sort of parallel between Schwarz’s comment and the professor’s suit. Don’t you think so?)
“That’s silly,” Mr. Ratherquite said.
Then, Daddy Salami walked up.
“What ya doin’, boys?” he asked, laughing a bit, bits, and little bits.
“We,” Mr. Ratherquite said, “are trying to decide if juice is better than milk.”
“Yes,” this professor cut in, “Schwarz thinks milk is better; Mr. Ratherquite thinks juice is better.”
“Well, P.VJ,” Salami said, looking at me, “they’re both wrong. Water’s the best. Heha…”
“Silliness!” Mr. Ratherquite said.
Salami’s mouth hung open instantly. “Only snakes don’t drink water!” And he stared resolutely at Mr. Ratherquite, who started to huff-hum.
“That’s not true, chickit!” Schwarz said. “Snakes drink water. Have you ever seen their little tongue that comes out of nowhere? Oh yeah!”
Salami was frowning. “This conversation is weird. I’m leaving.”
And Daddy Salami departed–to the pool, I think. (Some swim at night. It helps with a moon tan, I hear.)
“Yes, sir,” Mr. Ratherquite said again, “juice is far better than milk.”
“No, it’s not!” Schwarz said in a high-pitched voice.
And what he did next was a shocking shocker.
He reached out and slapped Mr. Ratherquite across the face. Goodness, it was an interest.
Mr. Ratherquite’s eyes got real big. Then he took off his glove, and slapped Schwarz across the face.
A duel was on, then.
They were scheduling a date, but I didn’t listen.
The professor was leaving.
I was going to have some juice.
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