Possibilities & Figure-ings

What does one do when faced with two possibilities equally as dreadful as the other?

The professor thought about it for a bit.

Never think unless you want to lose time. You see, thinking and time are deep enemies. So deep one can’t find the bottom.

Mr. Magi had left, and LottieOllie and Amelia were coming this way.

The professor’s way.

Options were dwindling, but being an adventurous professor, I decided to stay put and see what happened. After all, they might just walk by.

I bent down and pretended to look at a frog.

(It’s better to do that sort of thing. You see, when someone is coming along that you really want to talk to, but you don’t want that person to know that you really want to talk to them, it’s best to pretend to be busy with something very dreadful and boring. Not that frogs are boring.)

The professor must admit, I was curious to see what they were doing together.

The moment was come.

“Professor.” A voice from behind.

I spun quicker than a merry-go-round.

It was Mr. Magi. He’d never left.

“Are you coming?” he asked. “We must figure out what’s going on. Come.”

But it was kinda too late.

“Professor.” It was LottieOllie this time.

Mr. Magi’s eyes widened and he came over to where this professor was standing.

“Well, Lottie,” he said. “Have you turned from your dastardly ways?”

And this professor looked severely at Amelia. You see, I was trying to pose the same question to her with my eyes.

I don’t think it worked. Rats.

Lottie smiled. “And have you, Mr. Magi, decided to quit going about the Land on a foolish mission that will never end?”

“Young lady!” Mr. Magi scolded. He wasn’t angry. Not at all.

“Now that it’s been brought up,” I began, “what are you two doing together exactly?”

“We just met,” Amelia said.

“Rats and a heifer.”

Mr. Magi blinked twice–nay, thrice. “I don’t see any.”

And that’s when Schwarz Tauptinker came over. “Come on! The duel is going to start. And I want you to see me win–oh yeah!”

***

Friend the professor on Facebook, here.

Join the professor on Twitter, here.

Subscribe to MicP Studios, here.

Advertisements

210 Responses to “Possibilities & Figure-ings”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 September 6, 2014 at 15:01

    That was mean of LottieOllie! I think I will chase her with a mop and cover her in bacon grease.
    If I lived in the Punchy Lands, I’d probably spend much of my time acting as Mr. Magi’s deputy and finding out about dastardlyness before it took place, and the rest of the time doing very Punchy-ish things, such as stalking Pez like a Ranger and shooting arrows at the Veezler.
    Oh, and making fruit juice extra-sticky just to throw at Amelia.
    Right. I’d be a vigilante. That’s the word for it. :-P

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:58

      *laughing* Goodness! Perfect. Bacon grease will do the trick. And a few pies with beetles.

      *laughing lots* That sounds perfect! And you know, Mr. Magi would love the help! In fact, I should probably base a a character on that! Do you think so?

      You’d hunt Pez????

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 September 6, 2014 at 16:07

        Yes. That would work. Quite well, I think. ;-)
        Yes! You absolutely should… but it should be a mostly-kept secret that that person is actually my secret identity in the PL, and that I’m a secret agent for an unknown power (though the power is mostly benevolent and partly mischievous. ;-) ). ;-P
        Well, he wouldn’t see me. ;-) I can be quite good at that, you know.

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 00:50

        Cool then! What would you like your secret identity to be?

        Well…what about his cameras?

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 September 8, 2014 at 00:53

        I think my secret identity should be as a journalist and photographer, ostensibly working for one of the Industrial Giants, but really working with Mr. Magi. (Also, my alter ego will probably have the dream of becoming an actual freelance journalist. ;-) )
        *rubs chin thoughtfully* Well, you know, we could search for them and then move them, or we could re-route the footage to another, trustworthy place. We need to think of something devious enough, you know.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 01:09

        That’s a great alter ego, I think. Probably Dewdrop. Or maybe Butterfield.

        *nods* But..are Jedi allowed to be Devious?

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 September 8, 2014 at 01:51

        Dewdrop? I can’t seem to find the name on the list. I have an idea who Butterfield is.
        They are, sometimes. I mean, I am very devious. I am never where people expect me to be, which means that I get hit in the head with cabinet doors quite a lot. But anyway, Jedi are allowed to be devious as long as the action itself is not vile, it is for the greater good, and if the expected good outcomes are greater than the expected bad ones. However, we are not allowed to be devious much in our personal lives. My deviousness is mostly that I’m unexpected, I think. Oh, and that there’s a possum living on my deck. Possums affect deviousness, though I’m not quite sure how. I must ask Scientist how that would work, exactly.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 13:17

        George Dewdrop. I think he’s there somewhere. Yeah, Butterfield runs the CIO. Biggest organization in the PL, actually.

        Yes, I’m sure Scientist would have an idea. (You thwarted me again! You see, I want to prove you’re a Sith!) A possum is an interest. Is he nice?

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 September 8, 2014 at 22:24

        I may have to search him. Oh, I see. I don’t know which one… perhaps we should let it be said that I “worked” for either one as needed… :-P
        *does innocent look* I’m not sure yet. I haven’t had the chance to hold a conversation with her–I think it’s a her–yet. ;-)

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 14:47

        That’d work, since they work together lots.

        *growls* A her! Well, let me know as soon as you do.

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 September 9, 2014 at 22:14

        I will see about it tonight.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:26

        Good deal.

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 September 10, 2014 at 20:50

        She wasn’t there last night. I suppose it’s as well. I had an assignment to deal with.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:33

        Ooo! Hope that beastly thing went well.

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 September 11, 2014 at 12:07

        *sigh* so do I… It was a sort of “Barn Burning” extrapolation thing. Faulkner fanfiction that I had to do for class. (Actually, believe it or not, I do enjoy Faulkner. It’s hard to get to the heart of what he’s saying, though.)

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:52

        I’ve never read him…but I think I know what you mean.

      • 17 erinkenobi2893 September 12, 2014 at 13:30

        Yeah… *sigh* It was crazy.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 18:48

        *nods*

      • 19 erinkenobi2893 September 12, 2014 at 21:01

        At least I have a weekend to work on my Jedi costume now! :-D
        Look, it’s a Gandalf smiley! Now, I just need to invent a Gimli one… :-P

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:18

        Nice. Gimli would be tough, I bet.

      • 21 erinkenobi2893 September 15, 2014 at 00:19

        Yes. I will need more thought to make a Gimli emoticon.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:42

        Like a long beard.

      • 23 erinkenobi2893 September 15, 2014 at 23:53

        Yes, indeed.

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2014 at 13:20

        *nods*

  2. 25 PorterGirl August 29, 2014 at 14:25

    Oooh super – the tension is building nicely! And I do love your ruse of pretending to look at a frog. I might do this, actually, even if I am not trying to avoid (or engage) anyone. It gives one time to think. Yet – time and thinking are enemies… now my head is hurting. I shall just stop thinking altogether. There – that’s solved it.

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:37

      *laughs* What a good point, Lucy. I fear I contradicted myself. But I always do, ’cause I think too much, you know. And then I think too little. The frog didn’t mind being admired. But he wanted his picture taken, and I didn’t have a camera.

      • 27 PorterGirl August 30, 2014 at 08:12

        Frogs are terribly vain in that respect, I find. I suppose it comes from the fact that they used to be princes. I try to admire them when I can, but at times I am just too busy.

        Thinking is such a strange affair, don’t you think? Eating seems much more sensible.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:12

        Now…have you ever kissed frog? That’s the question.

        It does. Eat and don’t think. That’s got to be a motto somewhere.

      • 29 PorterGirl August 31, 2014 at 10:45

        I did kiss a frog once. It was… slimy.

        Sounds like a good motto to me, Professor. I think I shall hang that motto on my wall!

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 19:00

        You did? *laughs* You did not! Really?

        Yes, and I’ll paint it on mine!

      • 31 PorterGirl September 1, 2014 at 08:26

        Well, I was hoping for a Prince!

        Haha – now we have a joint motto! Super!

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2014 at 13:56

        A prince would be nice. Imagine the castle–and the food!

        Great!

      • 33 PorterGirl September 1, 2014 at 15:06

        The food especially!

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 00:50

        *laughs*

  3. 35 jennifermzeiger August 28, 2014 at 22:06

    Considering I have no idea what’s happening in this story at the moment, I still found it entertaining. Now I’m going to go look at a frog and think. It’s a great way to procrastinate at the writing thing.

    • 36 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:34

      Hi Jennifer!

      Yes, it certainly is. Would you like to have a pet frog?

      • 37 jennifermzeiger August 29, 2014 at 03:36

        I’d love a pet frog!

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 12:57

        Yes! With blue legs and a red tongue!

  4. 39 The Lite Rider August 28, 2014 at 13:52

    The best was Mr. Magi’s response to “rats and a heifer”. Ever the literal Mr. M. Now, on to the duel.

    By the way, asking with the eyes to someone like Amelia probably wouldn’t work. She probably needs the direct approach. ;-)

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 16:55

      He’s so literal it’s vexing, I tell you! Though, I think being literal is probably a good thing.

      *hangs head* You’re probably right. I’m sure you’re right. But I don’t want to talk to her. Maybe get her bit by a snake–that, at least, is gentlemanly.

  5. 41 Jackie (Lostinthot) August 28, 2014 at 10:09

    Yes-siree-hoe-yeah! That was a humdinger of a cliffhanger!

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:42

      Yes! Thanks, Jackie. And I bet everyone soon goes off the cliff!

  6. 43 L. Marie August 28, 2014 at 00:50

    If you actually saw a frog, I hope you pocketed it to fling at someone later. That’s what I would have done, especially if Amelia or LottieOllie insisted on bothering me. I would offer Mr. Magi a withering stare. I’m quite good at those.

    • 44 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:40

      A withering stare! That sounds awesome. I wish I could do that. Can you teach me?

      Yes, you know, I should have pocketed the frog. It was a drat frog, or something like that.

  7. 45 Nancy Loderick August 27, 2014 at 19:54

    Well Professor,

    Frogs are very handy for many things, are they not? They are especially helpful if you are trying to avoid something. :)

    Nancy

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:23

      Well, yes, Nancy, that’s how it turned out this time. I’d like to collect a few poisonous ones, you know. Wouldn’t you? Just for a battle in the future or something.

  8. 47 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 27, 2014 at 19:52

    I’m extremely good at looking at frogs, you know. I have it pretty well mastered. Have several trophies on my bookcase. *nods*

    I’m very worried about this fight. I can’t look.

    • 48 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:22

      You do? You’ve captured and dried out some frogs? That’s cool! What colors are they?

      Don’t be. I’m sure you’ll think it funny–in the end.

      • 49 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 28, 2014 at 20:45

        *gross shiver* Maybe you would but I prefer golden trophies.

        Funny? Hmm.

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:26

        Oh! What’d you win trophies in?

        Well…it was dadblamery?

      • 51 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 29, 2014 at 04:26

        Saving soup can lables, I guess.

        As you wish.

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 12:59

        You’re being very wicked, aren’t you??

      • 53 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 29, 2014 at 13:30

        Very! !

      • 54 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:24

        *taps foot on ground like the Other Mother would* I’m going to growl.

      • 55 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 29, 2014 at 22:19

        The Other Mother? Tell me who that is, please.. *swoons* Please do it…

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:06

        But why are you swooning?

      • 57 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 31, 2014 at 05:19

        The grrring would be cool to hear, I think.

      • 58 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 18:57

        It would not, dadblameit! She’s a character from the book Coraline. A very wicked sort of…well, I think she’s a witch, who casts all sorts of wicked spells. The kind of person Mr. Magi would probably go after, you know.

      • 59 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 31, 2014 at 19:47

        Oh. I might like that book, actually. My Magi keeps everyone safe. He’s the best of the shortest.

      • 60 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2014 at 13:54

        There was a cartoon made of the book, too. He is!

      • 61 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 1, 2014 at 17:42

        There was? Never heard of it.

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 01:00

        Me neither till recently.

      • 63 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 2, 2014 at 02:40

        Hmmm. Interesting find, Duke.

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 12:10

        It was actually rather horrid.

      • 65 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 2, 2014 at 13:46

        I suppose so, Duke.

      • 66 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:23

        *laughs*

      • 67 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 2, 2014 at 22:04

        Hey!

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:57

        It was!

      • 69 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 3, 2014 at 01:35

        Duke…

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 12:31

        Yes?

      • 71 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 3, 2014 at 19:42

        Pft!

  9. 72 FictionFan August 27, 2014 at 16:49

    I bet some frogs are boring – sports fans always going on about who’s the world champion hopper, or politicians trying to explain why lilyponds should be taxed…

    D’you know, if it wasn’t for the fact that Lottie flirts so outrageously and is clearly on a mission to steal my C-W-W, I think I’d quite like her! She talks so much sense to Mr Magi, doesn’t she?

    Can I just mention that, unfair though it might seem, if my Schwarzy doesn’t win the duel, I’m going to hold you personally responsible? *makes contingency plan*

    • 73 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 19:43

      *laughs* I’m the greatest hopper, you know. Always been a good hopper. And lilyponds should be taxed since they stink.

      She did talk a lot of sense! But she’s not flirting with me. I know when I’m being flirted with, young lady! I think she’s trying to kill me, don’t you?

      Yes, that isn’t fair! I”ll try and pick out the weapons they’ll fight with…

      • 74 FictionFan August 27, 2014 at 22:19

        You mean…you’re a frog?? Oh dear! If only you lived in a monarchy, there might have been a Princess who could have kissed you. That’ll teach you to rebel!!

        She is too! You’re just so trusting! She might kill you after she’s flirted with you though…like a black widow spider!!!

        Someone on another blog today mentioned chocolate-covered frozen bananas – don’t you think those would make great weapons?

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:38

        I’m a dart frog, in fact. Highly poisonous. And very mean! (Princesses run from me.)

        I’ve always wanted to see a black widow spider. Well, then, she’s just not being upright and honest. The professor is. I refuse to play her little games with her. I’ll just laugh…then everything should be fine, right?

        You know, I had one of those at Disney World a while back, and I got quite sick. So, yes, an awesome weapon, actually!

      • 76 FictionFan August 28, 2014 at 16:46

        Ooh, they’d be quite sweet if only they weren’t so slimy. (Which might explain why…)

        Yes, laughing should work. But if not, try throwing a bucket of water over her…I’m pretty confident that would stop her flirting for a bit…

        Haha! Really? I’ve never heard of them before – they sound…er…awesome!

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 17:07

        Their brains are so small. Really stupid, you see. I’ve decided I’m not one–the sudden.

        That’d be mean! I can’t say she’s done anything outrageous. She just wants to…well…well, I guess she wants me to like her. Or give her a chocolate banana.

        Yes! Of course I’d just gotten off a ride that left me quite dizzy… Awesome…what would a Scot say? Instead of awesome, I mean.

      • 78 FictionFan August 28, 2014 at 19:12

        Too late! I’ve sent a kissing princess over – she’ll be devastated if she has to kiss a Professor!

        *gags a little* Yucketh! You’re defending her!! It must be….love… *shudders and faints*

        Pure brilliant, possibly, or if it was truly awesome then we might say pure dead brilliant. Or if we were a typically undemonstrative Glaswegian male and the thing was really phenomenally awesome, we would probably say, Aye, it’s no’ bad!

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:24

        Well, she won’t have to. Promise. She could kiss my katana if she wants…she’ll just have to clean it and sharpen after.

        I love her madly! *laughing lots*

        Aye, it’s no’ bad. I like that. I think I’ll say that about a few times. Can’t quite get the accent right, though… *tries*

      • 80 FictionFan August 29, 2014 at 13:50

        Huh! As soon as you see her, you’ll be flirting away – I know you too well! Poor Phaidor won’t get a look in any more! *shakes head severely at fickle Professor*

        Whaaaaaaaatttt!!!! *dies of shock and horror and then comes back and haunts Professor*

        *giggling* Oh, I’d love to hear you say it! You should put it into your next movie rip…!!!

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:34

        The professor does not flirt! I just… I’m just professorish. *laughs* Oh, come on! You must admit you felt bad for Phaidor too, right?

        *laughing lots* Haunts? No! I was joking. Promise! How about you haunt Darby?

        I would, but…the Scottish accent is a tricky one, I fear. And I’m horrible with accents.

      • 82 FictionFan August 30, 2014 at 18:04

        If you look up professorish in the dictionary it says ‘shamelessly flirtatious, whilst being cute and adorable. Also frequently associated with fluffiness’. I felt a bit bad for her, but I feel you have been swayed somewhat by her womanly charms. Her habit of eating people and threatening horrible torture to any man whio rejects her makes me feel…well, a little ambivalent towards her…

        Phew! Don’t do that to me!! Think of my blood pressure!!!

        Aye, weel, we cannae a’ be as talented as ma Schwarzy, ah suppose…

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:20

        Does it really? Rats and a Heifer. I was hoping for a better definition. Like: Someone who goes on Secret Oops missions. Or something like that. That’s a good point. But all women are vicious like that! Just ask Darby–or Hector, next time you see him in the skirt store!!!

        But you wouldn’t have any blood at that point. (And Darby never did.)

        Ha! Ha! *growls*

      • 84 FictionFan August 31, 2014 at 16:04

        *giggles sillily* I so love Secret Oops missions – you should write about them!! The world should know the lengths you go to to keep us safe…

        How dare you, sir?!? I may have ‘accidentally’ trodden on someone’s toes from time to time towards the end of a relationship, but I assure you I have NEVER eaten an ex-boyfriend…

        I might bring Darby along when I come a-haunting…you’d like that!

        (So c&a!)

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 19:07

        Well, I don’t go on many. No, we must never tell the world. It’s a strict secret, see. Otherwise, I could get attacked!

        *laughs* No wonder you’re worried about me stepping on your toes! (It must be a FEF mode of attack.) You just wanted to eat Rafa!!!!

        I’d kill him dead!

        (And ugly.)

      • 86 FictionFan September 1, 2014 at 13:27

        Well, you must be careful! There are few secret agents skilled enough for Oops missions. Did you have to do special training?

        Well…yes…but Rafa’s yummy!

        Hah! He’d already be dead! Your nefarious plan won’t work…

        (That’s not how you spell fluffy.)

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2014 at 14:17

        Oh yes. Lots of special training. I’m basically a manual of special training now.

        See? The professor is right about girls!

        That’s true. I’ll have to think about that.

        (I’m a rotten speller.)

      • 88 FictionFan September 1, 2014 at 16:24

        Aha! Perhaps I should add you to my TBR…

        *laughing* Yes, you should stay far, far away from them! (Especially Amelia and Lottie… *resists unladylike temptation to spit*)

        (That’s ‘cos you won’t read HP…)

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 00:55

        Me? I’m not a very good read. Very boring, I hear.

        I will! *shudders* They should be honest, like the professor. Straightforward chaps. *laughs* You can spit. I’d like to see how far you could spit.

        (*drums fingers on table like the Other Mother* It’s a kids book!)

      • 90 FictionFan September 2, 2014 at 16:08

        I don’t believe that! Anyway, I’m hoping there might be pictures…

        Oh dear, no, we don’t want them to be like the Professor! There’s not enough room in the world for that amount of flirting. And they wouldn’t suit the facial hair… Perhaps one day you will… *practices*

        (Who on earth is the Other Mother? But you’re so old you must be approaching your second childhood, so it’d be perfect for you…)

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:32

        Well, it might be entertaining. If you’re into professorish embarrassing moments! Lots of those in the book. And pictures.

        *mouth drops all the way down to…hades* I’m not a flirt! I’m Jack Reacher! Yes…so practice hard!

        She’s like a witch. Well, she is a witch. I think she’s rather sweet, though. Good-natures. Just misunderstood. *laughs* I’m so young I’m almost dead.

      • 92 FictionFan September 2, 2014 at 22:38

        Ooh, I am!! Is there a picture of the Professorial Tree Incident? You should send me a copy – I could review it…

        Oh, I bet Jack Reacher’s a flirt too. Men!!

        OMG!!! Do you mean…?? Can it be…?? Is my Chicky…an egg???

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 01:03

        But what would you say about it?

        He is not!

        *laughs* Now…how can Schwarz be an egg?

      • 94 FictionFan September 3, 2014 at 13:48

        Well, that rather depends on the book. I might say “The text is enhanced by the amazing pictures of the stunningly gorgeous Professor showing his athletic prowess and artistic skills. Check out the biceps, ladies!” Or I might say “Thankfully the pictures do not detract too much from the text”.

        Spit-tooey!

        But…that implies… no, it can’t be!! *awestruck face*

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 15:05

        *laughs* If it’s not enhanced, it means the professor is an org, right? See? You try your hardest to make me…flirt!

        Oh dear. What have I done?

      • 96 FictionFan September 3, 2014 at 16:37

        Ah, but you know it will be enhanced! Because the loveliness of the interior Professorial personage surely imparts a beauteous glow to the exterior. *sighs flirtily*

        Well, Schwarzy might be my Schwarzy – he might even be an egg, but he’ll never be my Chicky-Woot-Woot…

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:37

        Haha…but still, the exterior is ugly and brutal!

        *laughs* Oh dear… Umm…never?

      • 98 FictionFan September 3, 2014 at 22:13

        Well, that can be cute too…

        Why? Don’t you want to be my Chicky-Woot-Woot any more? *maybe sobs, maybe hits C-W-W with a blancmange*

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 00:01

        *laughs* I think girls think everything is cute. Reminds me of a time…

        No! That isn’t what I meant. *seals lips* Can’t say anymore. Dangerous, you see.

      • 100 FictionFan September 4, 2014 at 15:00

        What time? What time?? WHAT TIME???

        I do see, chickit! At least – I think I do…but I shall keep mom!

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 19:57

        Well, see…oh dear…well, there was a girl once. And she went around saying everything was cute. So…being the beast I am, I had speaks with her about it. I kinda remember her leaving in a huff. I think she was trying to annoy me, looking back. I was really quite sweet about the whole thing.

        You do not!!! Mom? *laughing lots and lots and lots*

      • 102 FictionFan September 5, 2014 at 15:20

        Well, that was so cute of you to set the girl right – we really need men to tell us how to go along, ‘cos these big decisions like choosing which words to use are too hard for us girlies! I bet she thought it was cute too. And huffs are quite cute, don’t you think, cutie? Oh, by the way, was she cute?

        Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah – chickit!!

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:32

        *meanest professorish growl ever* I couldn’t tell. She was too made up.

      • 104 FictionFan September 5, 2014 at 22:54

        *melts* (Soooo fluffy!) *laughing* Was she wearing a wig?

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:55

        *laughs* You were cranky with me! Oh dear…probably. How is one supposed to tell such things? For instance, you can’t know about Darby’s it’s so well done.

      • 106 FictionFan September 6, 2014 at 20:30

        Yes I was!! So cranky you nearly got a faceful of blancmange, which would have made you look considerably less than cute, sir!

        DARBY DOES NOT WEAR A WIG!!!! I’m surprised that you didn’t just pull her hair to find out though…

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 01:02

        *laughing* You’re so funny! I’m already ugly, remember.

        Well…he might. I would have, but she would have probably swung. What then I ask you?

      • 108 FictionFan September 8, 2014 at 16:20

        *stern face* Don’t you laugh at me, sir! Or you will be…

        Oh it would have been well deserved and probably wouldn’t have hurt much. But I might offer her boxing lessons so she’s better prepared next time…

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 19:38

        Will be what?

        That’d be mean. But I wonder if you remember!

      • 110 FictionFan September 8, 2014 at 22:47

        Ugly.

        *silky, scary voice* Are you implying that my boxing days were a long, long, long time ago, dear C-W-W?

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 14:52

        I already am!

        Well… *laughs* Umm…no! Look here, I haven’t done it for a few months, and I’m not sure if I remember!

      • 112 FictionFan September 9, 2014 at 17:03

        *chuckling* I think that completes a full circle now…

        Smooth retreat, sir!

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:07

        I’m always going in circles.

        *smiles proudly*

  10. 114 masgautsen August 27, 2014 at 15:53

    I sure hope something will happen to stop this duell from happening!

    • 115 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 19:37

      Yes! Do you abhor duels? They can be somewhat violent, you know.

      • 116 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 00:14

        I find them abhorent, but of interest.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:39

        Yes, same here. But I bet you’d be stunning in a duel, you know.

      • 118 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 22:52

        I’ve always kind of wanted to be in one. But I don’t have any swords or pistols. All I have is my battle axe. I suppose I could be in that kind of duel, like Ralph Macchio in Crossroads.

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:34

        You’d be awesome, I think! What sort of battle axe do you have? *eyes brighten lots* Ralph…was he as good as Vin Diesel?

      • 120 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 23:54

        A metallicy-blue one, with two single coils in the front and a humbucker in the back. Do you like it?

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 12:56

        I more than like it! So cool. You’ve never told me about it! Do you play often?

      • 122 walt walker August 29, 2014 at 13:06

        Not often anymore. Very little time these days. And the rock star train left the station long ago, you see.

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:22

        *nods* Walt, you and I must just jam some day. What do you say?

      • 124 walt walker August 29, 2014 at 21:53

        Of course. But I’m not very good, you know. I might hurt someone.

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:05

        *laughs* Oh, I’m sure you’re better than you give yourself credit for! I bet your battle-axe loves you madly.

      • 126 masgautsen August 29, 2014 at 06:06

        To me they usually seem pointless.

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 13:03

        I see what you mean. ‘Cause a family member will take revenge for the fallen one, and so on…something like that, I think.

      • 128 masgautsen August 29, 2014 at 13:11

        Spot on :)

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:23

        Rats! My warrior blood must fight something. Maybe the dust.

      • 130 masgautsen August 30, 2014 at 08:15

        The dust will be as good as anything to fight! Hope the weekend will treat you good :)

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:13

        You have a great weekend too! (I hate fighting dust…so…slippery!)

  11. 132 InfiniteZip August 27, 2014 at 15:37

    What happened to the frog? Surely it was more fun than a vicious duel?

    • 133 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 19:35

      Well, Zippy, the duel hasn’t happened yet… The frog…did you know he had blue legs?

      • 134 InfiniteZip August 27, 2014 at 19:36

        Oh my, no, what color blue? Cornflower?

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 19:45

        Is there a cornflower blue? I don’t think so, madam!

      • 136 InfiniteZip August 27, 2014 at 23:25

        My crayola says differently sir:)

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:39

        I’m flabbergasted, and lip blamed! Well…is the professor wrong, then?

      • 138 InfiniteZip August 28, 2014 at 17:33

        perhaps, but I distinctly remember coloring my bedroom wall with that lovely shade much to my mothers dismay..I think she spanked me too…maybe they discontinued it to save other childrens bottoms from a wallop?

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:19

        *laughing* It’s a possibility. But I must say, Zippy, that was very brave (and cool) of you! You should paint it red now.

  12. 140 Simply Skeptical August 27, 2014 at 13:32

    Sorry Professor but somehow the end part of my previous comment was “cut” I wanted to say that I wonder who will win the duel. Poor Mr. R. and such the gentleman too! :-)

    • 141 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 14:05

      Oh, no problem! I would guess Schwarz…but I don’t know, really! Who do you suppose?

  13. 142 Simply Skeptical August 27, 2014 at 13:30

    Hee, hee, what a hilariously typically PL style interaction.

    So, let me see if I have this correct. The Professor DID want to talk with LottieOliie & Amelia that’s why he chose to stare at the frog as they passed right? Hmm, wouldn’t that be more like trying to avoid them? You know I’m obviously wrong since a conversation did insue; but she (LottieOllie) is a bold one.
    a the gentleman too. :-)

    • 143 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 14:04

      I did! I wanted to see what they’re about. You see, the professor is a very curious beast. (Some say he’s more curious than a rat.) But that’s a rumor. And rumors can’t be trusted. Wouldn’t you want to say hi to them?

      • 144 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 00:16

        Are rats curious? I thought curiousity killed the rat.

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:40

        No…that was the cat. But you might have a point. Rats carry fleas. And fleas are curious, aren’t they?

  14. 146 Susan P August 27, 2014 at 13:12

    I just have a bad feeling about this. Where are DS and MM when you need them? Be careful, professor.

    • 147 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 14:03

      I’ll try! I think DS would take care of the both. Do you suppose Mr. Magi will? One never knows for sure.

      • 148 Susan P August 27, 2014 at 15:48

        Mr. Magi is…I don’t like to say it, but he seems like someone who has been projected from a faraway solar system.

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 19:37

        *laughing* Right on! That’s the perfect way to sum him up. Do you suppose he left half his brain in another galaxy?

      • 150 Susan P August 27, 2014 at 20:14

        I think he is all over there and what we see is a 4-D projection.

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:30

        Ah! But I do think you like him. You see, where would the PL be without him?

      • 152 Susan P August 28, 2014 at 21:41

        Nah. He’s creepy.

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:33

        Mr. Magi? I’m more creepy than him, and the professor isn’t creepier than a mountain goat!

      • 154 Susan P August 29, 2014 at 13:00

        ppptthh

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 13:05

        I think you agree with me the sudden!

      • 156 Susan P August 29, 2014 at 16:53

        Nevair.

      • 157 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:40

        Does that mean never?

      • 158 Susan P August 30, 2014 at 00:01

        It depends. What do you think?

      • 159 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:10

        I think it might. Does it?

      • 160 Susan P August 31, 2014 at 18:33

        It can if you want it to be.

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 19:10

        Is it a Susan word?

      • 162 Susan P September 1, 2014 at 12:56

        Let me check in my Word Smith Box.

      • 163 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2014 at 14:08

        That sounds fancy.

      • 164 Susan P September 2, 2014 at 00:11

        *whispering under her breath* It’s an old envelope.

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 01:08

        Rats. Still does!

      • 166 Susan P September 2, 2014 at 13:09

        An old fancy envelope?

      • 167 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:20

        Yes, what if there’s a gold piece in it?

      • 168 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 19:36

        Then I’m sure it’s not mine. grin

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:43

        Well, we’ll split it, then.

      • 170 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 20:59

        How do you propose to do that?

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:53

        The katana.

      • 172 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 01:36

        But…you have to get pretty close with that.

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:32

        Well, it’s very long, you know.

      • 174 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 16:25

        So is my lariat.

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:03

        I need one of those!

      • 176 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 20:04

        Are you going to ride the trail during the cattle drive?

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:08

        Are there rattlers on the trail?

      • 178 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 20:14

        Definitely rattlers on the trail. Didn’t you seen the signs when you left the OK Corral?

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 00:54

        No…I had too many shots… Well, let’s hunt rattlers then.

      • 180 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 12:56

        Which species of rattlers?

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:25

        Oh dear…the big ones!

      • 182 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 19:30

        Florida has several species of rattlers, and the nastiest one is the pygmy rattlers.

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:48

        Pygmy…are they really wicked? See, we might have rattles up here…but more common is the copperhead dude.

      • 184 Susan P September 6, 2014 at 17:15

        Pygmy Rattlers are very wicked, but not as wicked as the coral snake.

      • 185 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 00:59

        Oh, that’s the red one!

      • 186 Susan P September 9, 2014 at 19:45

        Actually, it’s banded.

      • 187 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:19

        But it’s red!

      • 188 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 18:01

        http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/reptiles/eastern-coral-snake/

      • 189 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:15

        If I was a snake, that’d be me.

      • 190 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 23:06

        What? a coral snake?

      • 191 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:40

        Yes!

      • 192 Susan P September 11, 2014 at 21:46

        That should keep others away.

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:53

        I only bite sometimes.

      • 194 Susan P September 12, 2014 at 19:46

        It only takes one bite.

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:13

        And then…death.

      • 196 Susan P September 13, 2014 at 18:32

        *gulp* I feel a little distressed.

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:33

        Yes, well, we mustn’t think on it.

      • 198 Susan P September 15, 2014 at 14:39

        Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the elephant in the room.

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 22:18

        Where?

      • 200 Susan P September 16, 2014 at 00:06

        No one ever sees it, it’s just there.

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2014 at 13:28

        Maybe I put it there.

      • 202 Susan P September 16, 2014 at 17:51

        Maybe?

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:16

        You think I did? How rude!

      • 204 Susan P September 17, 2014 at 14:52

        I vas just agreeing with you.

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 20:03

        *squinty eye look*

      • 206 Susan P September 17, 2014 at 23:34

        I can’t hear you when you look like that.

  15. 207 Angeline M August 27, 2014 at 13:05

    Not wanting to lose time, I never think.

    • 208 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 14:03

      Haha! Good reasoning there. Do you feel yourself a little bit at a disadvantage then? I bet not.

      • 209 Angeline M August 27, 2014 at 17:17

        Not at all :)

      • 210 Professor VJ Duke August 27, 2014 at 19:43

        Yes! *high-five* Me neither!


Say something...anything...O Punchy Family!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email!

Join 1,869 other followers

Follow The Punchy Lands! on WordPress.com

Blog Stats

  • 114,261 hits

Join the Professor on Twitter!

Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


%d bloggers like this: