The Duel

I would think that duels are supposed to be interesting.

All the late night party people–or, I should say: all the people at the late night party–were gathered around Schwarz Tauptinker and Mr. Ratherquite as they prepared to have their duel.

They had been preparing for the last half-hour.

This professor was standing next to Daddy Salami. You see, I wanted to see if Manly-Man and Ruber Salami would actually do something to him.

You never know about such things.

They had said they would.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Mr. Ratherquite called out. “We are ready to begin. Thank you for your patience. We will try to keep the following duel entertaining–as well as suitable for the ladies.”

Mr. Ratherquite’s Ladies, who were watching with delight, giggled.

“Chickit, I’m ready!” Schwarz announced.

And this is when the professor noticed the weapon of choice: pistols from the 12th century. And if they didn’t have pistols then, from the 13th. And if not then, the 14th. Basically, these pistols must have been made at the earliest time possible.

Schwarz was putting grass into his barrel.

“You won’t win that way, stupid cur!” Salami yelled out.

“Oh, I will,” Schwarz returned. “I already put the that little gray ball in–oh yeah!”

Salami laughed, and leaned over to me, “Watch and see as this sucker blows up his cur face!”

I nodded.

And that’s when I saw Manly-Man and Ruber out of the corner of my eye.

They were sneaking up on Daddy Salami, whose eyes, I should mention, were glowing green.

Mr. Ratherquite and Schwarz stepped away from each other.

“As soon as I say go,” Mr. Ratherquite said (he was red in the face), “we will both fire.”

The crowd murmured.

Bang!

“Go!” Mr. Ratherquite yelled.

Bang!

Schwarz had fired first. (He said later that he had never agreed to Mr. Ratherquite’s conditions.)

And Schwarz’s shot went wide.

But it was a hit.

It hit Daddy Salami.

“Cur!” Salami yelled as he fell.

And then this professor heard Ruber say, “We got him now!” And he rushed forward.

It was a mistake.

Mr. Ratherquite’s gun went off next.

And it was a hit.

Ruber fell to the ground next to his dad.

“Ruber, me boy,” Salami said. “What ya doin’ here, huh?”

Around this time, Mr. Ratherquite and Schwarz were shaking hands.

LottieOllie–who I happened to notice (professor warriors notice most things)–had a smile on her face, as did Manly-Man.

Amelia was missing–which was a pity.

For she could have been one of the injured.

Both injured parties were carted off to Scientist’s abode.

It was a dangerous party.

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224 Responses to “The Duel”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 September 6, 2014 at 15:04

    Oh dear me! A dangerous party indeed. :-P
    Poor Ruber! I shall send him a get-well card. And Schwarz was entertaining, indeed. Grass in the barrel of his pistol? X-P

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:59

      Haha, I know. What do you suppose Schwarz was thinking? And where do you suppose Amelia went?

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 September 6, 2014 at 16:08

        I think Schwarz was thinking that he was going to get grass stains on Mr. Ratherquite, though he was not very good at aiming. :-P
        I am not quite sure, since I haven’t been there. If I had been there, though, I would probably know, seeing that I would have probably noticed her going and followed her unseen. :-P

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 00:51

        Yes…wonder why Schwarz thought that was important. Maybe ’cause grass stains are hard to get out.

        You’re much better at tracking than I am. I need to study with the Rangers or something.

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 September 8, 2014 at 01:37

        Probably. Or he thought it would be ironic for Mr. Ratherquite to get grass stains on him.
        Perhaps. Of course, there’s also the question if you have the potential for it. You could become moderately good without the potential, though.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 13:12

        That’s a good point. I might not have the potential. I’m not sure.

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 September 8, 2014 at 21:30

        We don’t know until we try. That’s what Crowley always says.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 14:41

        Crowley?

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 September 9, 2014 at 21:45

        Crowley, commander of the Ranger Corps. ;-) Ranger’s Apprentice reference :-P

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:22

        Aha!

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 September 10, 2014 at 20:39

        ^_^
        Iris says I’m like Crowley. I think I’m more like Gilan, but who cares?! :-P It’s all fun.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:30

        Is Iris usually right?

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 September 11, 2014 at 12:00

        I don’t know. In my experience, she has opinions, and they may or may not be right. For instance, I know that she normally praises my writing without restraint or temperance, to the point of sheer flattery (ha!), so if she says something’s wrong with it, I generally listen to her.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:49

        I should go meet Iris. She seems like a great chap–if you can call a girl a chap…I’m not sure…

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 September 12, 2014 at 13:27

        She’s at irisbloomsblog.wordpress.com . ;-) And yes, she is. :-D

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 18:46

        Okay! Thanks!

      • 17 erinkenobi2893 September 12, 2014 at 20:51

        :-D I’m sure Iris will be glad to see you!

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:17

        Great!

      • 19 erinkenobi2893 September 15, 2014 at 00:17

        :-D

  2. 20 Hazy September 1, 2014 at 13:20

    Wait, did you finish your juice? Was it cherry, by any chance?

    Lesson learned: I think we can agree that people should stay away from watching duels, they could get hit!

    Hmm… Something seems amiss with this duel… Lottie and Amelia seem to have something not-so-good planned… If such is true, do you think MM has a part in it?

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2014 at 14:11

      I did and it was! I love cherry juice to death. Must be something wrong with the professor. Well, we knew that.

      Yes! Isn’t it a surprise and a half!

      MM…probably not. He once told me he wouldn’t be caught dead with Amelia and Lottie. I wonder what those two were doing together!

      • 22 Hazy September 14, 2014 at 08:40

        Cherry juice is nice. We had some black cherry juice + pomegranate a week ago. Must be something wrong with me too. *laughs*

        Good for MM! I’d stay away from those two, too.

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:18

        *laughs* That sounds tasty! Nah! You’re just Hazy!

      • 24 Hazy September 17, 2014 at 12:27

        Ooh, that rhymes! *laughs*

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:32

        So it does! *laughs*

  3. 26 PorterGirl August 29, 2014 at 14:27

    Dangerous and exciting! These late night parties are rather good, wouldn’t yo say? I do like Schwarz’s technique with the pistol. Do you suppose he intended to ‘miss’? I think he had something in mind.

    Marvelous Professor! This duel was very suitable for Ladies, I think.

    • 27 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:37

      I don’t know about Schwarz! It’s possible…do you suppose he might have been aiming for me? I mean, I was standing right next to DS! They are fun…and dangerous!

      *bows* I think so, too!

      • 28 PorterGirl August 30, 2014 at 08:14

        I am sure Schwarz would never aim at you, Professor. But then you never can tell. Poor DS – he must feel victimised.

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:12

        I think he probably does. And he might get cranky about it. No telling what the beast will do now!

      • 30 PorterGirl August 31, 2014 at 10:43

        But it will be fun to find out!

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 18:59

        It will! As long as we steer clear!

  4. 32 InfiniteZip August 29, 2014 at 00:38

    where is the frog? maybe his blue legs could have averted the duel with his magnificence??? did he get eaten? did someone die? oh the sleepless night ahead wondering…….

    • 33 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 12:57

      Well, the frog ran away from me. And he didn’t stop the duel, Zippy! He could have, though. I’m still searching for him. Do you know how to call a frog?

  5. 34 Susan P August 28, 2014 at 21:30

    The question remains: were they poor shooters or did they do it on purpose. And I want to know what happened to Amelia? Did the professor save her? Too many loose ends here. I want more information.

    • 35 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:31

      I’d say they’re the worst shots ever! Amelia…I don’t know. Do you suppose she got eaten by a bear? Maybe a cougar? Maybe George got out and killed her?

      • 36 Susan P August 29, 2014 at 12:56

        No, George did not do that. I daresay she will turn up again.

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 13:03

        Rats. I wonder what DS would do with her!

      • 38 Susan P August 29, 2014 at 16:49

        If I saw correctly, he blenched when she showed up. Now that is scary.

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:38

        *laughs* He was mad, then?

      • 40 Susan P August 29, 2014 at 23:27

        More like scared. You know.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:08

        Not possible! He’s fearless, like the professor.

      • 42 Susan P August 31, 2014 at 18:28

        That’s what I’m sayin’ …

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 19:08

        Now, Susan, there are differences betwixt us, you must understand.

      • 44 Susan P September 1, 2014 at 12:49

        I get that. I don’t look like a shrub. And I’m not green, I’m purple.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2014 at 14:05

        Purple? A space shrub? But you said you weren’t a shrub… Humdinger!

      • 46 Susan P September 2, 2014 at 00:07

        You sound confused…what seems to be puzzling you? Not a shrub – more like an egg plant.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 01:06

        Haha! I might be an egg plant. But I would be fried.

      • 48 Susan P September 2, 2014 at 13:01

        I suppose that some days you do feel fried.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:16

        It’s an odd feeling, you know.

      • 50 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 19:30

        Are you sautéed?

      • 51 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:40

        Like a mushroom?

      • 52 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 20:56

        Well, it IS a kind of frying.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:51

        I know nothing of it!

      • 54 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 01:32

        ‘Tis a pity then.

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:30

        *laughs*

      • 56 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 16:22

        Real gentlemen engage in duels.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:02

        Well…does that make Mr. R one?

      • 58 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 20:07

        If I recall, the last duel you stepped back and walked away from it.

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:09

        *laughs* Do you fear the professor is a coward?

      • 60 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 20:16

        What I think is that the Professor likes to stir things up and then disappear and snicker and guffaw.

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 00:56

        Why yes! How come…you know that, though?! You shouldn’t know that, Susan!

      • 62 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 13:00

        I calls them as I sees them, bro.

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:26

        I’m busted again!

      • 64 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 19:33

        *laughing* You would not be the Professor if you didn’t serve up that sort of dadblamery.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:49

        You are right. *Susan squinty eye look* I’ve mastered it!

      • 66 Susan P September 6, 2014 at 17:19

        By George you have mastered it! Congratulations! You’re a champ.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 01:00

        *Beams like a dying star*

      • 68 Susan P September 9, 2014 at 19:47

        Like a blue dying star.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:20

        Not red?

      • 70 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 18:04

        No. O no. Green, maybe.

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:16

        Don’t know why I can’t be red.

      • 72 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 23:09

        Because red is Bethy’s color.

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:42

        Rats and a Heifer! I bet she’d share!

      • 74 Susan P September 11, 2014 at 21:49

        She gave me one of her red dresses.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:54

        Do you wear it?

      • 76 Susan P September 12, 2014 at 19:49

        I have worn it. It’s a very nice dress.

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:14

        Dresses don’t look nice on guys, you know.

      • 78 Susan P September 13, 2014 at 18:33

        Have you tried telling that to a priest?

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:34

        No, should I?

      • 80 Susan P September 15, 2014 at 14:41

        Well, you said men don’t wear dresses…

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 22:19

        Yes…but capes…maybe.

      • 82 Susan P September 16, 2014 at 00:07

        No. No capes. They get caught in the updraft.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2014 at 13:28

        *laughs* And get sucked into plane engines?

      • 84 Susan P September 16, 2014 at 17:52

        Yes! And then someone has to mend them.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:17

        Like Edna.

      • 86 Susan P September 17, 2014 at 14:53

        She was such an odd little creature. I was named for her, you know.

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 20:04

        You were???

      • 88 Susan P September 17, 2014 at 23:35

        Yes. My middle name is Edna.

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke September 18, 2014 at 14:42

        You never told me that! (Well, she’s quite cool.)

      • 90 Susan P September 18, 2014 at 19:50

        I think I did once in another context. But it’s not my most favorite name, either.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke September 18, 2014 at 20:34

        You’re right: you might have. I think it’s a cool name!

      • 92 Susan P September 18, 2014 at 21:23

        It means, “spirit renewed”

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke September 19, 2014 at 17:53

        Cool!

      • 94 Susan P September 19, 2014 at 20:26

        I guess that includes repairing capes.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke September 21, 2014 at 19:26

        I just told Audrey that you won’t let me have a cape. And now I’ve lost the cool superhero factor!

      • 96 Susan P September 22, 2014 at 13:02

        Well, it’s either the capes or become Iron Man.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke September 22, 2014 at 19:49

        Ooo! I’ll be Iron Man with a cape!

      • 98 Susan P September 22, 2014 at 20:35

        You like to live dangerously, don’t you?

        Are you going to rip IM?

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke September 23, 2014 at 14:05

        Yes! I think I do. I’ve never seen one the whole way through…

      • 100 Susan P September 23, 2014 at 17:36

        Can’t wait! *sits down to wait*

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke September 23, 2014 at 20:02

        You mean i should do one?

      • 102 Susan P September 23, 2014 at 20:54

        Certainly! He’s such a goof ball.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2014 at 19:26

        He’s kinda funny.

      • 104 Susan P September 29, 2014 at 07:38

        “Kinda funny?” that sounds like damning with faint praise.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2014 at 14:48

        Oh no! You swore!!!

      • 106 Susan P September 29, 2014 at 15:14

        I simply quoted a quote.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2014 at 23:14

        I’ll have to give it a go sometime.

      • 108 Susan P September 30, 2014 at 15:24

        Try it while you are ducking bullets from your soldiers in the twilight.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke September 30, 2014 at 19:50

        I’ll just draw my lightsaber.

      • 110 Susan P September 30, 2014 at 21:08

        Who taught you how to use a light saber?

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2014 at 11:59

        Mace Windu!

      • 112 Susan P October 1, 2014 at 13:56

        I am uber impressed. He’s a legend.

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke October 1, 2014 at 16:12

        *nods* And he’s cool.

  6. 114 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 28, 2014 at 20:42

    What??? No. I demand a redo! Nope. Nope. Nope. I’ve been waiting all week, Duke. Phewy!!! Bad shooters don’t make for a good fight. John Wayne would have never missed. Mr. R needs to practice. Those ladies have distracted him, I think. Where are Ruber and DS off to? Don’t let Lottie near Ruber.

    Where did that Amelia go? Lottie’s smile is disconcerting, at best. I’m wondering about her all the time now. What is she up to?

    • 115 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:25

      Oh, Ruber and DS will be fine. I bet you wanted to see Schwarz die, didn’t you? Oh, what a horrid thought. Did you see I almost got shot? I didn’t think of it until FEF brought it up, you know.

      Plotting! Will you go find her, please?

      • 116 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 23:37

        I wanted someone to become morbid. (Not you, Old Sport!) But I wanted someone to get their come uppance.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 12:54

        *laughs* Oh yes. I do see what you mean. Mr. R deserved it, huh?

      • 118 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 29, 2014 at 04:24

        FEF brought up what? I’m missing something, I think. Schwarz die? Die seems a little harsh. You didn’t almost get shot, you’re so dramatic.

        Find her and do what?

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 12:58

        Well, about the professor almost getting shot. I mean, I was standing next to DS, you see. And DS went down.

        Well…dispose of her?

      • 120 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 29, 2014 at 13:30

        Oh well, if you would have been shot, I would’ve visited you in the hospital, you know.

        It would be my pleasure.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:24

        Well, that’s nice of you! *bows* And bring me a hat, please.

        *shocked face* Here’s a knife.

      • 122 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 29, 2014 at 22:18

        Okay, but I’m bringing the Cardinals hat… *sparkles*

        *waits for the tank*

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:06

        Cardinals? *gags*

        A Panzer?

      • 124 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 31, 2014 at 05:18

        Rude. That’s no way to treat a visitor, Duketh.

        What’s that?

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 18:56

        Well…but…you…really?

        A tank! A German tank from WWII.

      • 126 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister August 31, 2014 at 19:41

        Yes, really.

        Oh, yes, then bring it around, please.

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke September 1, 2014 at 13:53

        ==]:-{)=

        Okay…it has a machine gun, I hear.

      • 128 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 1, 2014 at 17:41

        Good then I won’t need these. *throws guns into the bushes*

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 01:00

        *grabs the guns*

      • 130 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 2, 2014 at 02:39

        *laughing* But why? There is a tank on the way…

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 12:09

        Never waste a good gun!

      • 132 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 2, 2014 at 13:46

        I knew that would bother you…

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:23

        You set me up!

      • 134 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 2, 2014 at 22:04

        Only because I adore your response…I’m wicked like that and it’s your fault.

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:57

        It can’t be my fault, dadblameit!

      • 136 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 3, 2014 at 01:34

        Okay, so I showed up wicked. Sue me.

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 12:31

        Sue you? Only if you insist.

      • 138 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 3, 2014 at 19:47

        You would, Wicked Man

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:47

        I’m only wicked every other Tuesday.

      • 140 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 3, 2014 at 21:48

        New policy?

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:57

        Old one. It’s never followed, though.

      • 142 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 4, 2014 at 02:36

        Yeah, you stink at following the rules.

      • 143 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:34

        I know…what can I do?

      • 144 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 4, 2014 at 18:52

        Well, try reading them again! *hands you slates*

      • 145 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:05

        I can’t read.

      • 146 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 4, 2014 at 23:22

        *laughing* Liar! I can read them to you…*pulls up a comfy chair and grabs your pipe*

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 01:02

        There’s extra strong tobacco in there this time!

      • 148 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 5, 2014 at 02:54

        That doesn’t scare me… *cracks a window*

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:22

        It scares me. *laughs*

      • 150 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 5, 2014 at 20:03

        *laughing lots* …..hahha….. Cough!

      • 151 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:52

        *throws it out of the window*

      • 152 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 6, 2014 at 17:09

        *puts on your oxygen tube*

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 00:57

        I had one? A wonder!

      • 154 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 8, 2014 at 02:14

        Yes, you did! You never cease to amaze me, Duke. *laughs lots*

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 13:18

        I surprised myself this time!

      • 156 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 8, 2014 at 13:45

        Not always fun…is it? *giggle*

      • 157 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 19:34

        Well, dadblameit!

      • 158 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 8, 2014 at 21:52

        Curses, Duke…. I caught you off guard.

      • 159 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 14:45

        You did!

      • 160 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 9, 2014 at 19:14

        I like doing that so very much.

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:12

        *growls*

  7. 162 floridaborne August 28, 2014 at 19:16

    Rotten luck, failing to be one of the injured. :-)

    • 163 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:24

      Yes! Don’t you suppose Amelia deserved it?

      • 164 floridaborne August 29, 2014 at 00:52

        I think they ALL deserve it. :-)

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 12:57

        *nods* You do have a point! Except the professor, you know.

  8. 166 Debbie August 28, 2014 at 18:45

    Dueling sounds like a dangerous thing to do at parties, late-night or otherwise. Somebody could get hurt — and see? Two somebodies did!! I know that was their intention — to wound or kill — but something tells me the Scientist will bandage them both up. Right??

    • 167 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:20

      Oh yes, they’ll both be fine. But…how else are differences to be settled, do you suppose?

  9. 168 icedmocha34 August 28, 2014 at 16:51

    Parties can be very dangerous, I agree.

    • 169 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 17:07

      They sure can! Have you ever fought a person with a katana at a party?

      • 170 icedmocha34 August 28, 2014 at 17:09

        Um, not that I can remember…:D
        But I have had my schnauzer drop a landmine at my brother’s birthday party before, right in front of everyone…Ahhh, memories…

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:17

        *laughs* No! That’s…horrid! Must have been vexing. But I bet there were some laughs hopefully!

      • 172 icedmocha34 August 29, 2014 at 19:34

        Pfft, my brother was, like, seven, so he thought it was awesome.

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:40

        *laughs* Yeah, I bet you didn’t like it!

      • 174 icedmocha34 August 29, 2014 at 20:45

        Hey, I didn’t have to clean it, so I didn’t mind! :D

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:04

        *laughs* Very good point, Em!

  10. 176 Simply Skeptical August 28, 2014 at 15:47

    Well, well, quite the good shots Mr. R. & Schwarz are. Best to stay out of the room or better yet the county when either are sporting firearms eh?

    Remind me to be proud of Mr. R. always the perfect gentleman even during those stressful times of duals. I wonder who supplied such state-of-the-art fire ware?

    Rules don’t enter into Schwarz’s vocab. a definite concern when timing is sort of important. I’m glad Mr. R. didn’t fall. Daddy & Ruber Salami’s luck was missing for this one, but not M.M. lucky chap.

    This was intensely giggle worthy. Yeah!!!

    • 177 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 17:01

      Definitely. And did you hear, I almost got shot? Goodness.

      Probably Mr. R. I bet he’s over 500 years old.

      You know, the professor is beginning to think you love Mr. R! Is it true?

      • 178 Simply Skeptical August 28, 2014 at 17:09

        Love is a rather strong word. Fond would be more appropriate.

        Oh my! I hadn’t realized he was that mature; such experience he must have.

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:17

        Well, all’s good then.

        Yes! Lots of experience in being a crasher, as they say.

  11. 180 FictionFan August 28, 2014 at 15:44

    Gosh, a few inches to the side and my Schwarzy might have shot my Professor!! How conflicted I would have been then! Thank goodness he got the old sausage instead – I suspect he meant to. Wasn’t Mr Ratherquite brave? I expected him to run away! No wonder the ladies admire him so much.

    I find it saddening…maddening, even…that while all this drama was going on, the Professor had his eyes firmly fixed on that little flirt LottieOllie!! *flounces off in a fury, muttering*

    • 181 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member August 28, 2014 at 15:49

      They do flirt so… I agree.

      • 182 FictionFan August 28, 2014 at 15:59

        The Professor starts it though – he’s a dreadful flirt! All warriors are, of course…

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 17:01

        Take it back, Nick!

    • 184 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 17:00

      You know, running, I think, never crossed Mr. R’s mind. Yes! I almost did get shot. By Schwarz!!! And you’d only be conflicted? Conflicted?! I didn’t even think on that.

      I did not! I merely saw her at the end. You had your eyes on Schwarz!!!!

      • 185 FictionFan August 28, 2014 at 18:56

        He’s much more heroic than I expected then. But then my Schwarzy’s so heroic too! *laughing* Yes, but I’m sure once I’d had time to think about it, I’d be devastated! I wonder if Schwarzy was aiming at DS or… no, it’s too horrible to contemplate. *contemplates*

        Huh! In denial, from the sounds of it! And of course I was gazing at Schwarzy – he’s so gorgeous, and he doesn’t flirt with other women, unlike some!!

      • 186 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:21

        No, Schwarz wasn’t. It was the grass, I think. What a slontze he is. If I was mean, I could on riot right about now, and kill everyone for…half a mile!

        I do not! Name one example! I’d love to know what you think flirting is…

      • 187 FictionFan August 29, 2014 at 13:42

        A slontze? That must be a compliment meaning gorgeous and suave and sophisticated, eh? The grass was just his way of confusing everyone – he’s soooo smart!! *chuckling* You’re so cute & adorable when you’re jealous…

        You surely don’t want me to mention the shameful multi-winking episode again, do you? You broke poor Amelia’s heart with your casual flirtatiousness!! Not to mention poor FF’s… *sobs brokenly and wishes she was lucky Lottie*

      • 188 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:30

        It’s actually a swear word from some book I read once… I was swearing, FEF! No, the professor is ugly and mean. He doesn’t have a heart, too.

        *laughs* That? It seriously can’t count! Winking is flirting. Otherwise, Mrs. Bennet flirts with her daughters! Hahaha…I don’t like Ollie… You know I like you way better! Promise.

      • 189 FictionFan August 30, 2014 at 17:37

        *shocked* How dare you swear about my Schwarzy?!? Wash your mouth out with soap and water this minute! (And then have some choclate to take the taste away. See? I’m quite kind, really…) It’s quite possible to be ugly and cute though – look at Woola.

        Mrs Bennet does not wink!! *heaves a huge sigh of relief and dances a small victory jig* You’re not just flirting with me now, are you??

      • 190 Professor VJ Duke August 30, 2014 at 18:15

        Rats! I’ve been busted. You are sweet–overall! Do you suppose I could have something cherry instead? Woola is just ugly. It’s his ugliness that makes you feel bad for him; therefore, you think he’s cute.

        She does! At Kitty! Umm…can I not answer that?

      • 191 FictionFan August 31, 2014 at 15:49

        No, people who swear (at Schwarzy) don’t get cherries. Ever. Again. But the same logic could never be applied to my cute Professor…could it??

        So Mrs Bennet is your role model then? Interesting! Huff-hum!! *pouts again*

      • 192 Professor VJ Duke August 31, 2014 at 19:02

        So you mean, the professor is so ugly, he’s cute? That’s a possibility. I might accept. But I fear it’s a type of female thinking. Let’s just settle for horrid, then.

        She is not! I was…just…using that as an excuse! Okay, maybe I was.

    • 193 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member August 28, 2014 at 21:08

      All warriors are not flirts!!!!

      • 194 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:30

        Yeah! Can you believe I let FEF get away with that?!

      • 195 FictionFan August 29, 2014 at 13:25

        Oh, they are!! Look at John Carter – he’s always hanging round some beauty or another. And Hector managed to find a wife despite dressing in skirts…

      • 196 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member August 29, 2014 at 20:50

        Maybe you just haven’t ever met a real warrior. Hector had a wife–but no one knows what kind of wife. And that’s not flirting anyway.

  12. 197 Micah Kipfer August 28, 2014 at 14:44

    What are gun laws like in the Punchy Lands? I’ve always been interested in the legal systems of other dimensions.

    • 198 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 16:58

      Well, it really much depends on where one is at. For instance, in England, where the duel too place, there are no laws. (England is ruled by King Arthur. Dark Ages, you see.) So it really just depends. Would you carry one in the PL?

      • 199 Micah Kipfer August 28, 2014 at 18:34

        I might…and use the shaft to store cat food ‘n’ such. I would call myself the Cat Cradling Gunman; and ride o’r the plains, opening my gun shaft for starving passers by, assuming that all passers by were cats.

      • 200 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:20

        *laughs* I’m sure the cats would love that! Hey, do you suppose you could put some hoagies in there, too?

  13. 201 L. Marie August 28, 2014 at 14:31

    Well! That was quite a finish!
    I agree that sabers would have been a good choice too.
    About Daddy Salami’s glowing eyes–was that due to the Scientist’s potion?
    Um, why was LottieOllie smiling? Was she smiling at Manly-Man? Is there a romance in the works? He was smiling too, so I wondered.

    • 202 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 16:57

      Well, probably not. DS has the ability to do such things. Some say he’s…Punchyish–which gives him lots of power.

      *laughs* Oh, I hope so! At least, it would be funny to see what MM would do. I’m almost sure he wasn’t smiling for that reason, though. I do wonder why Lottie was, though.

      • 203 L. Marie August 29, 2014 at 13:53

        I would be wary if I saw Lottie smiling for no good reason. But I’m kind of hoping a romance is in the works. :-)

      • 204 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:34

        There is romance in the PL, you know. It just stays away from me, because I’m a warrior.

  14. 205 The Lite Rider August 28, 2014 at 14:02

    DS must have already been infused by the Scientist with some horrid concoction – one that saved his life undoubtedly. However… Ruber….I think was an accident?

    It appears this was planned! And made sure to occur by Lottie? Except one can’t predict Schwarz, so maybe not!

    This raised far more questions than it answered. Mr. R is proof that one should not dally, nor attempt to be gentlemanly or courteous regarding duels!

    Loved the 12, 13, 14 century and guns…..

    • 206 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member August 28, 2014 at 14:45

      I think that Salami’s eyes glow naturally in times of excitement or anger. It’s kind of freaky…

      • 207 The Lite Rider August 28, 2014 at 15:30

        Oh. Well then. I can see DS would most *certainly* have been excited over the prospect of a duel! :)

      • 208 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member August 28, 2014 at 15:49

        I’m afraid so…

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 16:59

        Oh yes, that’s true, too. Like that night with Ruber! When he was chasing him in the woods.

    • 210 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 16:57

      Oh yes. Ruber wasn’t meant to get…hit. Now, do you suppose DS will find out about what Ruber was planning?

      Aha! I didn’t even think about that…is that why the bugger was smiling? Good point about Schwarz. I bet he didn’t have it planned.

      Yes! They should have had at it with two inch knives, don’t you think? That would have been a sport to watch. You know, like gladiators.

      *smiles bigly* Thanks! The pistols were so old!

      • 211 The Lite Rider August 28, 2014 at 22:03

        the two inch knives, yes! That would be so … interesting. Especially on Mr. R’s part.

      • 212 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:33

        *laughs* I bet he’d object so much. I like when he yells and gets red in the face.

  15. 213 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 13:26

    Now that was not what I was expecting, but I liked it. I do wonder what Scientist will do to/for them. Is he a healer or a, uhh… finisher?

    • 214 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 13:43

      Well, it depends. I think he’s great friends with DS. So, I’m sure he’ll heal him. Now, if DS finds out what Ruber was up too, it’s possible DS will want to do something quite mean. To Ruber, that is. I think they should have fought with swords, don’t you?

      • 215 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 13:48

        Swords would be good to. Or brooms. What about explosives? Bazookas, mines, and such.

      • 216 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 16:54

        *laughs* Well, couldn’t that get a bit dangerous for the bystanders? Like…what would DS make of that?

      • 217 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 18:14

        Well, attending any duel is a bit risky, don’t you think? There’s killing going on, after all.

      • 218 Professor VJ Duke August 28, 2014 at 23:19

        Yes…but bystanders should be safe. Haven’t they passed the bystander law?

      • 219 walt walker August 28, 2014 at 23:45

        I don’t know about that law. I think “no dueling” is a law, though. Whether with swords, land mines, robots, what have you. I think you are not supposed to do it anymore, is what I’m saying. But I could be wrong.

      • 220 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 12:55

        Oh! Then, I’m betting, if we make the weapons less dangerous (say, socks) a duel would probably be allowed–to some degree.

      • 221 walt walker August 29, 2014 at 13:03

        Certainly with empty socks, I would think.

      • 222 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 13:05

        Maybe they could be filled with Brussels sprouts.

      • 223 walt walker August 29, 2014 at 13:07

        That’s getting dangerous again. For the Brussels sprouts, anyway.

      • 224 Professor VJ Duke August 29, 2014 at 20:23

        Good point. I suppose they might get crushed a bit.


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