The Most Dastardly Plans Begin With Intentions of Sweetness

“So you see, P.VJ,” Dr. Zauberer said as he stood from the desk he’d been sitting at. “The most dastardly plans begin with intentions of sweetness.”

I shook my head. “Seems like something is wrong somewhere. And that something somewhere seems close to your proximity, interestingly enough.”

Dr. Zauberer made a face. It was a face of confusion and disdain, I think. But those things can be hard to tell.

“I’ll give you an example,” Dr. Zauberer continued. Then he did something incredibly awkward. (He does incredibly awkward things all the time, you know.)

Dr. Zauberer was playing with a pen while he was having speaks—a thing all doctors seem to do, even the fake ones—when he spun it a bit too quickly. It popped into the air, hit him in the forehead and landed on top of his hand, which was resting on the desk.

He covered his hand quickly with his other hand, and continued:

“The example is this. Suppose I was a farmer—”

“But you never were.” I knew this.

Dr. Zauberer was flustered. “Of course I never was! Let’s just suppose… I was a farmer. And I had to go feed the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back.”

“Did you just come up with that?”

“P.VJ,” Dr. Zauberer said, tapping his fingers upon the table, “please quit interrupting. Now suppose after realizing that I had to feed the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back, I decided to do it.”

I nodded. “A good decision.”

“Yes. So, suppose I went outside with some food in order to feed the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back, and when I got out there I decided, ‘Boy would it be fun to spook him instead.’ And suppose further that that’s exactly what I did. Instead of feeding the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back, I threw his food in the air, which spooks him, and he went off running. That, sir, is how the most dastardly plans begin with intentions of sweetness.”

The professor was dumfounded—nay, gardoobled!

“Umm…” I began. And it’s really a horrid way to begin.

Dr. Zauberer was smiling broadly. You see, he believed he had proved his point.

And maybe he had.

Do you think he had, PF? I’m not sure.

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258 Responses to “The Most Dastardly Plans Begin With Intentions of Sweetness”


  1. 1 Hazy September 14, 2014 at 08:49

    Gardoobled! love it! nice ring to it.

    Dr. Z made a valid point indeed… but not everyone ends up having such sweet intentions end up having dastardly plans, I think. Sometimes dastardly plans start out as dastardly plans and get even more dastardly.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:25

      Many thanks!

      For sure. That makes a lot of sense to me. Sometimes Dr. Z says the strangest things.

  2. 3 erinkenobi2893 September 6, 2014 at 15:11

    It may be partially true, I think. After all, there is Tairya, who is probably Selay’uu’s Morgan, and she started out pretty sweet. But then she was corrupted, you see. And now she’s just a nasty piece of work and Winter has to go out after her….
    And Will went with him, I think. (Will Treaty, from “Ranger’s Apprentice”… for some reason he’s in Merile at the moment, I have no idea how he got there since he’s not a Warden. Maybe Qui-Gon or Horatio sent him. I don’t know. Anyway, they’re hunting Tairya.)

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 16:00

      I kinda like Tairya. Is she powerful? But I really like Winter. Why did they go after her?

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 September 6, 2014 at 16:16

        She is powerful, though not Punchy. There is not a drop of magic in her blood (though there might be in Winter. He could be just keeping it quiet, especially since where he comes from magic is dangerous in the extreme.), though I think she would gladly have it if she could. Her power mostly comes from the fact that she is manipulative, an evil mastermind, brilliant, and the Queen of Merile, which, though a small country, has a very competent military force.
        Winter, on the other hand, is an orphan, but he has been trained as a Ranger virtually all his life. (He is like Tai Lung’s force-for-good counterpart.) He tends to be disciplined and resolved, and is extremely dangerous. And he went after her because she has been doing evil things and needs to be removed from office, and also because (outside of the novel) she has been off the radar for a few weeks, and John (one of the senior Rangers) is worried about it.
        I talked to Qui-Gon. He didn’t know anything about Will leaving for Merile, but Horatio did. I was a bit surprised, because though Horatio is in fact a Warden, he rarely uses his power. I think that if he were a superhero, his biggest weapon would definitely be his mind… though he might have other superpowers…. remind me to watch the Fantastic Four movie sometime. (Ioan Gruffudd is amazing.) Still, I think that Horatio would mostly be the sort of superhero who mainly fights crime using his mind and his inventions rather than having powers.

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 00:52

        Aha! An interest indeed. I’m starting to really like her lots now. Perhaps Winter will be able…to help her or something like that?

        I’ve seen parts of the Fantastic Four.

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 September 8, 2014 at 01:39

        Maybe. But if she acts up he may have to kill her. It’s a very serious matter.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 13:13

        And she’s not match for him.

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 September 8, 2014 at 21:36

        By no means. They’re about equal, but he doesn’t really want to kill her.

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 14:42

        Yes, I didn’t think so…

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 September 9, 2014 at 21:46

        Well, he’s the hero, of course he doesn’t want to kill anyone! :-P And he can’t use his magic, because if he ever does he could accidentally destroy the world. Besides, she expanded her sword-skills after going completely nutty, so she’s not even fighting in the style he taught her, so in some way she has the upper hand. ;-)

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:24

        Really? She’s that powerful?

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 September 10, 2014 at 20:40

        Well, she’s more dangerous than she is powerful, but you get the picture. All in all, she has more potential to do damage than Winter does. Of course, Winter is used to leveling the playing field. It’s how he’s survived for most of his life. ;-)

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:31

        Poor fellow. They should have sent you to get her.

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 September 11, 2014 at 12:01

        Well, he sort of feels responsible. And he does best her in the end of the book, by using his wits (which is the BEST way. ;-)

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:50

        *nods* That is the best way, I agree.

      • 17 erinkenobi2893 September 12, 2014 at 13:28

        :-D

  3. 18 Jackie September 4, 2014 at 10:35

    Yes the point was made but why was the point being made in the first place? There is vague mentionings of it but the whole thing is muddled in a metaphor.

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:40

      Quite right, Jackie. But that’s Dr. Z for you. He’s un-understandable. I think we should…kick him in the pants.

  4. 20 Sonya Solomonovich September 3, 2014 at 23:17

    Well, it seems the only thing Zauberer has proven is that he is mentally unbalanced.

    • 21 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 00:06

      *laughs* Perfect take, Sonya! Would you have tea with him?

      • 22 Sonya Solomonovich September 4, 2014 at 01:06

        Maybe, if it was in a fancy tea room. I can’t resist good tea!

      • 23 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:28

        Me too! Do you like green?

      • 24 Sonya Solomonovich September 4, 2014 at 21:05

        Yep, I like all teas. I’ve recently had something called Rooibos de Provence, so that is my current favorite. The professor fancies cherry flavored green tea if I recall correctly?

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 00:57

        Yes, you sure do! Fancy you remembering. I also like blueberry. Rooibos…that’s the red tea, right? I kinda like that, too!

  5. 26 The Lite Rider September 2, 2014 at 22:03

    I just don’t like him too much. What a plan. Or not. Spooking the poor creature who wanted food. Of course it was all fictional and hadn’t happened, as the Professor so kindly reminded him — he had never been a farmer. Of any sort! He gets a good slap for the day. Especially for the hypothetical philosophising.

    Oh. And he proved nada! So a big raspberry for you, Dr. Z!

    • 27 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:56

      Can you imagine Dr. Z as a farmer? I would think all the animals would gather together and destroy him. Don’t you think so?

      *laughs* You mean an edible one?

      • 28 The Lite Rider September 3, 2014 at 20:54

        Well, it’s a moot question because he’s never been and never will be. That said, yes!

        As for the raspberry, nope, just the loud noise!

      • 29 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:51

        Now I do feel a bit bad for him.

        *laughs* He deserves it.

  6. 30 walt walker September 2, 2014 at 21:02

    Well, one thing’s fer sure: He definitely did not prove a thing. Not something, not nothing. No thing was proven. Quite clearly.

    • 31 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:55

      Aha! Walt, I do believe you caught him with his pants down, so to speak. This is a good sign. We’ve busted his theory. Do you suppose he’ll hate us for it?

  7. 32 icedmocha34 September 2, 2014 at 20:15

    Pfft, llama named Jack! XDDDD *laughs ridiculously hard*

    • 33 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:50

      *laughs* Yes…imagine. It was white too. And had a yellow bow. Did you know llamas have tails?

      • 34 icedmocha34 September 7, 2014 at 23:30

        Yeah, my friend Olga has an animal rescue place with two llamas that are always spitting at me and charging awkwardly into the fence…idk why they hate me so much…XD

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 01:07

        *Laughing lots* Oh, they don’t hate you! Maybe they want food or something. Do you have carrots in your pockets?

      • 36 icedmocha34 September 8, 2014 at 01:09

        Why…why would I carry vegetables in my pocket…?

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 01:10

        Well, rats. I would! I love snacking on carrots. Don’t you ever worry about getting hungry?

      • 38 icedmocha34 September 8, 2014 at 01:11

        I sometimes carry my nana’s cookies with me, but besides that, no. I’m very well fed by my Italian family. XD

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 01:13

        But still! Out in the field…one might be stranded. Always safe to have something. Like a deer.

      • 40 icedmocha34 September 8, 2014 at 01:15

        HUNTING IS MURDER.
        REALLY, REALLY DELICIOUS MURDER.
        I read that on a gas station t-shirt today. XP

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 13:11

        *laughs* Well, I suppose that would be true if animals had souls!

      • 42 icedmocha34 September 9, 2014 at 19:13

        I wanted to be a vegetarian, but I could never give up bacon…so it didn’t work that well….

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:12

        Yeah! Bacon is like awesome!!! Plus, how would you build muscles without protein? *laughs*

      • 44 icedmocha34 September 11, 2014 at 16:33

        Bacon is awesome!! Pigs are great!! :D

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 20:26

        They’re dirty!

      • 46 icedmocha34 September 11, 2014 at 23:37

        But the teacups ones are adorable!

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:54

        Teacup ones?

      • 48 icedmocha34 September 12, 2014 at 16:08

        Yup!!
        https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1920&bih=953&q=teacup+pig&oq=teacup+pig&gs_l=img.3..0l10.827.3740.0.3856.10.10.0.0.0.0.363.1382.0j1j1j3.5.0….0…1ac.1.53.img..5.5.1378.oB1eY1Wbm2Q#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=qCAlRH_7ZJWXCM%253A%3B-cnIAIHewG1xeM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdesktopbackgroundshq.com%252Fbackgrounds%252Fteacup-pig-animal-backgrounds-28915.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdesktopbackgroundshq.com%252Fanimal-backgrounds%252Fteacup-pig%3B1200%3B636

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 18:57

        I don’t believe it!

  8. 50 LadyPinkRose September 2, 2014 at 19:33

    Too bad that llama didn’t sspit aat him iinstead. OOH MY!! II’m in trrouble here! WWhat’s wrong with your site? DDon’t ttell me WWP strikes again? CCan you eve=n read this? OOH OH! **rruunning*

    • 51 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:37

      Yes! *laughing* You’re just fine, LadyP. I think the llama is coming after you. Is he red or pink?

      • 52 LadyPinkRose September 2, 2014 at 20:16

        What’s wrong over there???? Gee, I think that llama jumped off the page and started to come after me? Why me????? And it is RED cause it is coming after me!!!! *oh I’m so scared ….come and rescue me, Professor* STILL RUNNING >>>>>>>>>

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:51

        It just wants you to take its photo, LadyP. You see…it’s heard how great you are with a camera, and he thinks he’s beautiful. Will you take it for him?

      • 54 LadyPinkRose September 3, 2014 at 00:58

        Well, um, gee ….. I’m kinda scared you know. I don’t want to be bit or spit upon. Or is that just a camel that does that? As long as he stays away from me, I’ll use my 75-300mm lens. That way he can be FAR FAR away from me and I can still get a very good photograph. Is that OK?

      • 55 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 01:07

        Oh…and will you take a photo of the professor, please?

      • 56 LadyPinkRose September 3, 2014 at 01:33

        Why certainly! LadyP would be honored. Now for the Professor I would use my macro lens. A portrait picture using a macro lens is just fab!!! *kicking up heels and doing a jig* *tickled um PINK* Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Tee hee

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 12:30

        *laughs* Does a macro lens show things up-close?

      • 58 LadyPinkRose September 3, 2014 at 15:15

        Well are my flowers real close? That answers that question. But, there is a way to use the macro lens like an ordinary lens. I took a pic of my car the other day and I said WOW this is SO clear!!! Cool beans!!

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:29

        That is cool beans! Yes…well, that does answer the dadblame question. Don’t you like dadblame questions?

      • 60 LadyPinkRose September 3, 2014 at 20:49

        I do SO savor those dadblame questions, Professor! I DO!

      • 61 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:49

        I ask a lot, don’t I?

      • 62 LadyPinkRose September 3, 2014 at 23:57

        But of course you do! I wouldn’t expect anything less of you! Hehehehehe

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 00:07

        Did you know the professor is an orc?

      • 64 LadyPinkRose September 4, 2014 at 00:15

        Did you know LadyP is a quork?

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:26

        Now…what is that, LadyP?

      • 66 LadyPinkRose September 4, 2014 at 13:43

        YOU don’t know what a quork is. It is LadyP!

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 19:54

        Is it like a stork?

      • 68 LadyPinkRose September 4, 2014 at 20:15

        Um, could be? *scratching head* Let me see if I can remember if that is the right answer. *eyes cross*

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 00:55

        Oh no! LadyP’s eyes are stuck crossed now!

      • 70 LadyPinkRose September 5, 2014 at 01:48

        OIua ,fdsl’ uoojad ;k;ljle Ldewojf;c d;ie’ah ,;a’judg d;eupgsd ;ajpdlod a/;lkd a/’ldi l;k ;aodief fja
        da dlg ma
        dde;ld a
        dg

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:19

        It must be magic…

      • 72 LadyPinkRose September 5, 2014 at 18:30

        I furgot …… What were we talking about????

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:33

        The professor’s hair.

      • 74 LadyPinkRose September 5, 2014 at 18:36

        Hmmmm …. you mean the long mangy stuff I saw?

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:46

        Yes…wasn’t it beautiful?

      • 76 LadyPinkRose September 6, 2014 at 17:20

        *gulp* IF you say so, Professor. It looked more like a mop to me. *running*

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 01:00

        Very true. I cut it off the back of a mop that went bad.

      • 78 LadyPinkRose September 8, 2014 at 14:01

        Did it rot away? Oh my!

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 19:35

        Yes…horrid, isn’t it?

      • 80 LadyPinkRose September 8, 2014 at 20:33

        I bet it was smelly too! YUCK!

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 14:38

        It had rats!

      • 82 LadyPinkRose September 9, 2014 at 14:53

        *faints*

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 15:02

        It’s okay now, I think.

      • 84 LadyPinkRose September 9, 2014 at 15:50

        Well, if you don’t know who does? *nursing a goose egg bump on forehead*

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:01

        Oh no! How’d you get that?

      • 86 LadyPinkRose September 10, 2014 at 15:14

        DUH! I fainted!

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:33

        Did your head hit the floor?

      • 88 LadyPinkRose September 10, 2014 at 16:05

        Yes. Could be some sense was knocked into it. What say you?

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:09

        *laughs* No! We know LadyP is smart already.

      • 90 LadyPinkRose September 10, 2014 at 18:42

        Nothing wrong with smart-ER. Speaking of ER, perhaps I need to go. You know, get the goose egg attended to and all. NAH! I’m tough as nails. NO need. Ice will do. Thank you.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:25

        You could pour beer on it, if you’d like.

      • 92 LadyPinkRose September 10, 2014 at 22:34

        It would have to be cold, Professor, to do any good.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:40

        How about an icicle, then?

      • 94 LadyPinkRose September 10, 2014 at 22:49

        No, I would rather a popsickle, thank you.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:35

        *mouth drops open*

      • 96 LadyPinkRose September 11, 2014 at 16:43

        Grape specifically.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 20:29

        Not lime?

      • 98 LadyPinkRose September 11, 2014 at 20:37

        *shudder* Too sour! YUCK!

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 20:41

        Root beer!

      • 100 LadyPinkRose September 11, 2014 at 20:45

        YES YES YES!!! My all time fav!!! How did I forget? I LOVE root beer! Not the kind they have now, but the old fashioned kind, like me. *blushes*

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:48

        I’m old fashioned, too!

      • 102 LadyPinkRose September 12, 2014 at 16:31

        That’s good! I think. Is it? Depends. Don’t you think?

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 19:03

        I do, all the time.

      • 104 LadyPinkRose September 12, 2014 at 23:53

        What a relief! Thank the heavens!

  9. 105 Louis Hart September 2, 2014 at 18:55

    Nobody can really prove their point. They just like to think they can.

    • 106 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:36

      Yes! Right on. How do you suppose we can tell the world this?

      • 107 Louis Hart September 2, 2014 at 20:38

        Maybe by trying to unprove their point instead. Since people tend to get everything backwards perhaps that would work.

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:54

        *laughs* What a wonder! I think you’re onto something, Louis. However, it is gardobbling the professor’s mind, you know.

  10. 109 sonmicloud September 2, 2014 at 16:55

    Sweetness is as sweetness does, and dastardly intentions are contentious it seems. They can bear fruit from the cruel and bitter just as easily as the sweet though, say myself and the Cloud.

    – sonmicloud

    • 110 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:35

      *nods* That makes sense to this professor. So…do you think the professor is sweet or dastardly–now that you brought it up?

      • 111 sonmicloud September 2, 2014 at 19:54

        He’s a tricky one. I think it depends upon whether he’s had his muffins that day.

        *nods back*

        – sonmicloud

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:50

        Right on! And if they’re cherry. They’re tops, you know. A wonder that you know!

  11. 113 InfiniteZip September 2, 2014 at 15:41

    Food is necessary, sweet would be to take the llama for a spa treatment, I hope the llama comes back with friends and kicks him in the kingly jewels!

    • 114 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:28

      Haha. Do llamas go to spas? I bet they have ticks all through their fluff! Don’t they?

      • 115 InfiniteZip September 2, 2014 at 19:38

        I would suppose, I only know unicorns are clean and tick and flea free:)

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:41

        They are? How do they manage it, Zippy?

      • 117 InfiniteZip September 3, 2014 at 10:47

        Rainbow showers, how else?

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 12:34

        Is the blue light cold?

      • 119 InfiniteZip September 3, 2014 at 15:29

        Always if the fridge is working properly:)

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:30

        Haha. How about the freezer?

      • 121 InfiniteZip September 4, 2014 at 09:44

        Very very cold in there:)

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:39

        Do you think it’s cold on the moon?

  12. 123 Angeline M September 2, 2014 at 15:06

    Oh, but I think the example was a red herring, forget about the llama. What does the doc REALLY have in mind?

    • 124 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:27

      Aha! Is he up to something dastardly as he speaks?

  13. 125 PorterGirl September 2, 2014 at 14:25

    Oooh I do that thing with the pen all the time – I play with it a bit too enthusiastically and it flies off. I’m not a doctor though, not even a pretend one.

    Now – onto the llama situation. The llama would have viciously attacked Dr Z and no mistake. They are more precious about their food than even I am. And then it would have been a dastardly deed.

    But I like the thought that dastardly deeds start with sweet intentions, that could be true. But Dr Z has not proved his point in this instance, in my humble opinion.

    • 126 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:27

      *laughs* (I do that, too, but we must keep it a secret!)

      *laughing more* You know, I didn’t even know this about llamas! Are they horribly vicious and mean? I should make it my national animal–maybe.

      Your opinion is prized–in the professor’s opinion! So…does that mean the professor won?

      • 127 PorterGirl September 3, 2014 at 07:31

        (We are keeping a lot of secrets, Professor – I certainly hope we never fall out or we shall both be done for!)

        They are super vicious. Especially if you try to milk them, apparently. They should be a national animal – how marvelous!

        The Professor won, most certainly. The Professor always wins, no doubt (he should)

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 12:33

        (*laughing* Oh, we won’t. Besides, I wouldn’t tell anyway!)

        I didn’t know one could milk them! Haha.

        Well, sometimes I lose lots. It’s the professorish way.

      • 129 PorterGirl September 3, 2014 at 13:13

        We shall always be friends, I am sure of it *big thumbs up*

        I think you can milk them, although I might be thinking of alpacas. Hmm.

        Even when the Professor loses, he still wins at being the Professor.

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 15:00

        *smiles bigly and big thumbs up*

        Oh…they’re like the little sisters or something like that. I mean, they’re close to llamas, I think. Goodness me! I don’t know.

        *laughs* Thanks, Lucy! You make me feel splendid, you know.

      • 131 PorterGirl September 3, 2014 at 15:16

        Always happy to make you feel splendid, Professor – you are a top chap! *big grin*

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:29

        *bows and the hat falls off* I need superglue.

      • 133 PorterGirl September 4, 2014 at 07:11

        *huge laughs*

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:39

        *laughs too*

  14. 135 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 2, 2014 at 13:56

    Sounds to me like you’re asking for forgiveness first! Haha. Farmers are amazing people, you know?!

    • 136 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:26

      The professor didn’t do that, did I? Yes…they work hard, huh?

      • 137 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 2, 2014 at 22:09

        Yes, I believe so… *laughs* I am wondering what is in the works, Duketh. Yes, they do.

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:59

        In the works? What do you mean, madam? And how did this professor apologize?

      • 139 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 3, 2014 at 01:45

        Well, there is some reason why you told us this story, right? Or you’re just proving that you are a poet. One that rhymes…
        Well, by saying…ummm, I believe, Duke.

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 12:32

        Now, Audith…you’re not telling me something! What is it?

      • 141 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 3, 2014 at 19:39

        Me? I told you everything?

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:45

        Accept…

      • 143 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 3, 2014 at 21:54

        Accept…I have no idea what you’re talking about.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:57

        I could be mistaken, then. Happens all the time.

      • 145 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 4, 2014 at 02:38

        You should be more specific, I think. So you are a poet?? Is that what I got right?

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:35

        No, I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t write poetry. You’re a way better poet than I could ever be.

      • 147 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 4, 2014 at 18:53

        Then, I’m at a loss. And there are way better poets than I.

      • 148 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:05

        Yes, keep thinking that. But, love what you do, and continue to do it!

      • 149 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 4, 2014 at 23:23

        Nice pep talk, Sir. How much do I owe you for that?

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 01:03

        Nothing! I’m hear to encourage and give pep talks…for free! Probably because there full of dadblamery.

      • 151 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 5, 2014 at 02:52

        Free? *considers stuffing a few in her pockets* I should prepare myself for less dadblamery pep talks, so I can sort myself better.

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:22

        I do hope it sorta maybe helped.

      • 153 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 5, 2014 at 20:01

        You always help, Duke….more than I could ever explain here, you know.

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:51

        *smiles* And so do you, Audith.

      • 155 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 6, 2014 at 17:08

        *smiles*

  15. 156 Debbie September 2, 2014 at 13:44

    This reminds me of the adage, The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. It seems the “good” doctor had a mind to feed poor Jack, but then Evil took over. I’m surprised the doc lived to tell his tale (or do llamas not have bad tempers now and then?!)

    • 157 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:22

      Aha! So do you suppose, Debbie, that a llama–a particularly evil tempered one–would have done something to Dr. Z had he done that?

  16. 158 Susan P September 2, 2014 at 13:38

    The llama WILL seek revenge. They’ve learned a few tricks from dealing with coyotes. Dr. Z had better be prepared ’cause llamas spit, bite and kick.

    • 159 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:22

      But don’t you think a katana would dispatch one? Well…they do weigh 700 lbs…right? Or am I off? Maybe I’m thinking of a Moose.

      • 160 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 19:36

        Maybe a herd of them…

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:43

        I wonder if they stampede?

      • 162 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 21:00

        They can kick.

      • 163 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:53

        But I bet it doesn’t hurt!

      • 164 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 01:36

        Only if you can’t feel the bruises.

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:33

        Haha, you know, I once got kicked by a cow.

      • 166 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 16:26

        I walked in a cow patty once – does that count?

      • 167 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:03

        Yes, I would say so.

      • 168 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 20:10

        It was a dark and stormy night and I was wearing my new white sandals. Boy, was my mother mad at me.

      • 169 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 00:51

        *laughing lots* Oh dear! And you didn’t have me to blame.

      • 170 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 12:53

        Too true. I didn’t even have any siblings yet.

      • 171 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:24

        Haha! You don’t deny it.

      • 172 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 19:18

        I always tell the truth. Or some sort of a facsimile.

      • 173 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:47

        Sounds like that’s wicked to me!

      • 174 Susan P September 6, 2014 at 17:13

        There are many ways to tell the truth.

      • 175 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 00:57

        And only one professorish way.

      • 176 Susan P September 9, 2014 at 19:43

        The professor has a gazillion ways to tell the truth.

      • 177 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:17

        Yes. You must admit that’s spicy.

      • 178 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 17:57

        Yes, I do admit that. It must be awesome.

      • 179 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:14

        It can be confusing.

      • 180 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 23:04

        Not if you know your spices.

      • 181 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:39

        And I’m always confused.

      • 182 Susan P September 11, 2014 at 21:44

        My dad would have said that he was born confused and caught cold on it.

      • 183 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:51

        *laughs* Now, that is good.

      • 184 Susan P September 12, 2014 at 19:31

        He was a good fellow.

      • 185 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:07

        The professor is a bad one.

      • 186 Susan P September 13, 2014 at 18:27

        Bad what?

      • 187 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:32

        Bad professor!

      • 188 Susan P September 15, 2014 at 14:36

        That’s okay. It’s a good bad professor.

      • 189 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 22:17

        Mostly bad.

      • 190 Susan P September 16, 2014 at 00:03

        Bad at what?

      • 191 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2014 at 13:26

        Everything?

      • 192 Susan P September 16, 2014 at 17:49

        Nope. You make people smile and giggle – a very important job just for starters.

      • 193 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:15

        That’s from the professorishness, I think.

      • 194 Susan P September 17, 2014 at 14:48

        Doubtless.

      • 195 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 20:02

        *nods*

      • 196 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 19:40

        Bullwinkle?

      • 197 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:46

        I wonder if he’d eat me.

      • 198 Susan P September 3, 2014 at 21:00

        Nah. He’s a flying moose.

      • 199 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 23:53

        Now that is super cool. Please bring me one for Christmas.

      • 200 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 01:36

        Much too heavy. But I might send some cookies here before too long.

      • 201 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 12:33

        Oh, that would be awesome.

      • 202 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 16:26

        It will be in fact.

      • 203 Professor VJ Duke September 4, 2014 at 20:04

        Huff-Hum to you!

      • 204 Susan P September 4, 2014 at 20:12

        And a Hum-Huff back to you. So there.

      • 205 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 00:52

        Oh, that reminds me. Will you ask Harry to root for the Pats?

      • 206 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 12:53

        I can make a request.

      • 207 Professor VJ Duke September 5, 2014 at 18:24

        Yes, please do.

      • 208 Susan P September 5, 2014 at 19:25

        The deed is done. I’ve thrown down the gauntlets.

      • 209 Professor VJ Duke September 6, 2014 at 15:47

        *laughs* Who does he pull for in football?

      • 210 Susan P September 6, 2014 at 17:13

        The Beagles…I mean, Eagles.

      • 211 Professor VJ Duke September 8, 2014 at 00:58

        The Eagles? *laughing* Beagles… *laughing even more*

      • 212 Susan P September 9, 2014 at 19:43

        They are not shaping up well last I heard.

      • 213 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:18

        I haven’t heard much about it, to be honest.

      • 214 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 17:58

        Of course you haven’t. You live in Las Vegas.

      • 215 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:14

        How do you know that?

      • 216 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 23:04

        I saw it on the Internet. So, it has to be true.

      • 217 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:39

        The internet…is dadblamery!

      • 218 Susan P September 11, 2014 at 21:44

        *shocked* But…how can that be?

      • 219 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:52

        It’s in the code.

      • 220 Susan P September 12, 2014 at 19:35

        Well, somebody needs to decode it and get it right.

      • 221 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:10

        Dennis–MM’s son–could!

      • 222 Susan P September 13, 2014 at 18:28

        Why isn’t he then?

      • 223 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:32

        He never does what he should, you know.

      • 224 Susan P September 15, 2014 at 14:37

        So, he’s no different from the rest of the PL.

      • 225 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 22:18

        But quite different from me.

      • 226 Susan P September 16, 2014 at 00:05

        And I should believe that why?

      • 227 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2014 at 13:27

        Because I told you, dadblameit!

      • 228 Susan P September 16, 2014 at 17:50

        You must think I am gullible.

      • 229 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:16

        Not a bit?

      • 230 Susan P September 17, 2014 at 14:49

        *cross-eyed look*

      • 231 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 20:02

        They’re going to stick like that!

      • 232 Susan P September 17, 2014 at 23:33

        That’s what I get.

      • 233 Professor VJ Duke September 18, 2014 at 14:40

        *laughs*

  17. 234 Simply Skeptical September 2, 2014 at 13:13

    It is true things can spin out of control from simple well meant intentions that morph into dastardly deeds! Some are prone to it as in Zauberer’s case. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth where the sweet & cute Professor is concerned. :-)

    He’s a slippery/sneeky one Prof. Beware!

    • 235 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:20

      Madam! The professor is ugly. And not sweet! Why…here’s proof of my meanness: I’d throw a turtle from a bridge–while its mother watched and screamed!!!

      • 236 walt walker September 2, 2014 at 20:59

        Oh, that’s just awful.

      • 237 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:55

        *laughing too much* Well, promise that’s the worst thing I do.

  18. 238 L. Marie September 2, 2014 at 13:04

    I would say yes, in a way, he proved his point, though why he wanted to make that point in the first place is beyond me. Still his intentions seemed to be dastardly all along, rather than sweet. Perhaps you should have slapped him with a glove and demanded a duel.

    • 239 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:18

      That is a great point, Linda! You’re right: Dr. Z was planning wickedness the whole way through! Therefore, his point doesn’t count! Does that mean the professor won?

    • 240 Micah Kipfer September 2, 2014 at 20:27

      And even if his intentions had been sweet when he left for the pasture, then his dastardly plan was only formed after his sweet intentions had left; so while his sweet intentions put him in a situation in which his dastardly plan could flourish, they preceded his dastardly plan, perhaps even caused it; but the plan did not begin with sweet intentions.

      • 241 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 00:53

        *laughing lots* Micah, that is the best…description of that ever! It makes lots of sense. Does this mean, then, that Dr. Z was wrong, in the end?

      • 242 Micah Kipfer September 3, 2014 at 01:43

        Yes, I’d say so. There may be exceptions, but if Dr. Z couldn’t find a real example to support his own point, I wouldn’t worry too much about them.

      • 243 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 12:32

        *nods* Well, that’s just spicy and good, then. Do you suppose Dr. Z is a bit weird in the brain?

      • 244 Micah Kipfer September 3, 2014 at 19:35

        Yes, among other places.

      • 245 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:42

        *laughs* I should have…thrown a pie in his face!

  19. 246 FictionFan September 2, 2014 at 13:04

    That’s such a typically male thing – you all sit around philosophising while that poor llama named Jack in the pasture at the back goes hungry!! It’ll serve you right if he gathers up all his llama friends and stampedes all over you!! Huff-hum! Now THAT would prove a point…

    • 247 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member September 2, 2014 at 19:01

      Ha! You do know I carry a shotgun, and that shotgun can be put to good use. (If there even was a llama called Jack!!)

      • 248 FictionFan September 2, 2014 at 22:15

        I’ve just loaned the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back my stock of Cruise missiles. So you may want to consider feeding him…or ducking…

      • 249 Nicholas Warren--MPS staff member September 2, 2014 at 23:39

        Cruise missiles? *sighs*The last thing we need in America are llamas running about with cruise missiles. We’re in enough trouble as it is…

        I’ll throw the stupid llama a carrot then!

      • 250 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 01:06

        You sure we don’t have those–in a way, I mean? If people were represented by…uhh…their animals?

      • 251 FictionFan September 3, 2014 at 13:31

        A wise decision…though I suspect he may prefer chocolate cake.

    • 252 Professor VJ Duke September 2, 2014 at 19:17

      *gulp* That would be horrid. And you’d root for the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back, wouldn’t you? *suspicious professorish glare or glance*

      Llamas are so mean, though. They need…beaten or something.

      • 253 FictionFan September 2, 2014 at 22:18

        I most certainly would! Seems to me the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back is the innocent victim in all this! *accusing glare*

        You can’t beat animals – I won’t allow it! All Jack needs is a good meal and a tummy tickle and he’ll be sweet…

      • 254 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 01:00

        But he can’t be innocent if he can be so harmful! I bet my katana wouldn’t get through all that stinky, yucky, filthy fluff! (I can see that FEF isn’t acquainted with rotten llamas like the professor is!)

        But they’re allowed to beat me?

      • 255 FictionFan September 3, 2014 at 13:33

        In what way was he being harmful? He was perfectly pleasant till you decided to throw his dinner all over the place – a thing that would upset the most even-tempered beast. I wouldn’t try it on Nessie if I were you…

        Yes.

      • 256 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 15:02

        (I think BUS is Nessie…) Well, I didn’t do it. Dr. Z did. The professor would do something that…cruel…

        Yes? *laughs lots*

      • 257 FictionFan September 3, 2014 at 16:22

        (I wonder about that myself, sometimes…) No of course not! You’d just attack the thing with a katana…

        Yes.

      • 258 Professor VJ Duke September 3, 2014 at 20:33

        (*laughing lots*) Yes, I would. It would be quick, promise!

        You’re so mean to me… *laughing lots again*


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