“So you see, P.VJ,” Dr. Zauberer said as he stood from the desk he’d been sitting at. “The most dastardly plans begin with intentions of sweetness.”
I shook my head. “Seems like something is wrong somewhere. And that something somewhere seems close to your proximity, interestingly enough.”
Dr. Zauberer made a face. It was a face of confusion and disdain, I think. But those things can be hard to tell.
“I’ll give you an example,” Dr. Zauberer continued. Then he did something incredibly awkward. (He does incredibly awkward things all the time, you know.)
Dr. Zauberer was playing with a pen while he was having speaks—a thing all doctors seem to do, even the fake ones—when he spun it a bit too quickly. It popped into the air, hit him in the forehead and landed on top of his hand, which was resting on the desk.
He covered his hand quickly with his other hand, and continued:
“The example is this. Suppose I was a farmer—”
“But you never were.” I knew this.
Dr. Zauberer was flustered. “Of course I never was! Let’s just suppose… I was a farmer. And I had to go feed the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back.”
“Did you just come up with that?”
“P.VJ,” Dr. Zauberer said, tapping his fingers upon the table, “please quit interrupting. Now suppose after realizing that I had to feed the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back, I decided to do it.”
I nodded. “A good decision.”
“Yes. So, suppose I went outside with some food in order to feed the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back, and when I got out there I decided, ‘Boy would it be fun to spook him instead.’ And suppose further that that’s exactly what I did. Instead of feeding the llama named Jack in the pasture in the back, I threw his food in the air, which spooks him, and he went off running. That, sir, is how the most dastardly plans begin with intentions of sweetness.”
The professor was dumfounded—nay, gardoobled!
“Umm…” I began. And it’s really a horrid way to begin.
Dr. Zauberer was smiling broadly. You see, he believed he had proved his point.
And maybe he had.
Do you think he had, PF? I’m not sure.