How the Clock Was Destroyed

Tick! Tock! Tick!

“Hey, you know what,” Ruber Salami said to Schwarz Tauptinker; “I hate that clock worse than I hate anything else. Including snails.”

Schwarz nodded. “Yeah, I mean–chickit. It’s like the most annoying clock ever–tell you what!”

“Yeah,” Ruber said. “Wish I could take it out back and kill it dead.”

“Why don’t you?”

“‘Cause of dad. He loves it. And, as he reminds me all the time, this is his hut.”

Tock! Tick! Tock!

“Why’s it got to be so loud, eh?” Ruber shook his head.

And that’s when Schwarz got up. He was about to do something, but, before he could, Dr. Zauberer came into the hut.

“Greetings and greetings,” he said. Then, he spied the clock on the table. He walked over, opened the back of the clock, and pulled some of the machinery out.

“I need this for a clock of mine that stopped working back home,” he explained. “I want it tick-tocking properly by the party.”

“What makes you think,” Ruber began, “that you can come into this…hut…and do that to me dad’s favorite clock?”

That stopped Dr. Zauberer dead in his tracks. “That’s a very good point. And I’m not at all sure that I can answer it.”

The he was gone.

“Well, at least we don’t have to hear it anymore–chickit!” Schwarz said.

The door opened again…and Daddy Salami entered.

“Hello, curs,” he said. “I see ya brought a friend over the house, Ruber.”

“Isn’t this a hut?” Schwarz asked innocently.

“It’s whatever I want it to be,” Salami replied curtly. “It’s me dream house. Hehaha!”

“Yeah,” Ruber mumbled, “complete with two rooms and no bathrooms.”

“What’s that ya said, Ruber?”

“Nothing.”

And then Daddy Salami saw the clock.

“What happened to me clock?!”

“Oh, I don’t now,” Ruber said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Has something happened to it?”

“It’s not ticking anymore!”

“Well,” Schwarz explained, “Dr. Zauberer came and ripped something out of the back. He said it was for his clock. He wanted his clock to work at his party he’s having. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!”

Salami thought for a moment. “I hold ya responsible, Ruber. We’ll go to his party, and get me clock part back. Now…for punishment.”

And Salami handed Ruber a pair of tweezers.

“Go cut the grass.”

 

 

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180 Responses to “How the Clock Was Destroyed”


  1. 1 Hazy September 14, 2014 at 09:04

    Clocks are fantastic! Those little itty bitty rotating gears are amazing. Though clocks can get annoying sometimes with the ticking and the alarming, especially in the earliest of early mornings.

    Poor Ruber cutting the grass with tweezers! Schwarz didn’t help him, now did he?

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:28

      Yes, for sure. Annoying indeed. I bet Weatherly doesn’t like gotten awoken after a night of business! But those parts are neatio.

      No, he didn’t! I think Ruber probably ran when he was outside.

      • 3 Hazy September 17, 2014 at 12:31

        *laughs* I would probably run too. I bet Ruber running made DS madder…

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:33

        Oh it did. Once he found him.

  2. 5 Bethy September 11, 2014 at 13:54

    You know…I love loud clocks. My pink panther clock I’ve had since I was a wee tad made the most amazing loud tick tocks. I was sad when it broke.
    I have to say though…my dream house has lots of bathrooms and people to clean said bathrooms.

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 16:02

      Did it keep you up at night?

      *laughing* More than ten, do you think?

      • 7 Bethy September 12, 2014 at 16:13

        Nope, in fact I had a hard time sleeping when it stopped ticking. Drove my hubby nuts when we got married though.

        Um…people or bathrooms? Well I guess it doesn’t really matter 10 should probably cover it.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 19:01

        Haha! I can understand that. I guess it’s what you get used to.

        Bathrooms! And that’d sure be a lot!

      • 9 Bethy September 14, 2014 at 21:14

        Yeah…I had it since I was a wee tad. Like 6 or something so I was super used to it.

        Yes! More then one for everyday of the week!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:39

        That’s why there would have to be someone to clean all that!

      • 11 Bethy September 16, 2014 at 15:02

        Exactly! Even in my dreams I am practical. :)

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:10

        *laughing* I need to be more practical.

      • 13 Bethy September 22, 2014 at 14:56

        Sometimes practical can be overrated.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke September 22, 2014 at 19:53

        That’s a quote I should memorize!

      • 15 Bethy September 24, 2014 at 13:07

        Well it’s a practical quote, so it should be simple to remember *giggles*

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke September 28, 2014 at 19:30

        But I’m practical-less. Happened the day my heart stopped beating.

      • 17 Bethy September 29, 2014 at 09:49

        I can understand that would definitely have an effect on your outlook on life. To say the least.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke September 29, 2014 at 14:49

        *nods* But I get along fine without it, I think.

      • 19 Bethy October 2, 2014 at 20:44

        really? no heart for you?

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke October 3, 2014 at 12:38

        Lost it in battle. We mourned for it, you’ll be glad to know.

      • 21 Bethy October 6, 2014 at 15:41

        Don’t you miss a bit and some more bits? I find I’m in constant need of mine.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke October 6, 2014 at 19:48

        Well…it gets rid of all that mushy stuff. Important for a warrior, you know.

      • 23 Bethy October 9, 2014 at 13:28

        Sometimes warriors are even better with some mushy stuff!

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke October 9, 2014 at 19:43

        *shocked face* What’s that mean?

      • 25 Bethy October 10, 2014 at 14:04

        Warriors who feel strongly about something even to the point of mushy (a sweetheart maybe?) seem to fight even more fiercely then if they didn’t have that experience. For some reason Braveheart keeps popping into my head.

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke October 10, 2014 at 14:14

        That might be right… After all, Hector was married. Didn’t Braveheart’s wife die? Or William’s, I should say.

      • 27 Bethy October 10, 2014 at 14:27

        Erm. I am a little hazy on the actual history. I’m sad to say I’ve watched the movie more then I’ve researched the actual time period, but yes his wife or fiancee was rather brutally murdered.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke October 13, 2014 at 12:21

        *laughs* Which was mean, I think.

      • 29 Bethy October 13, 2014 at 13:03

        And nasty.

  3. 30 InfiniteZip September 11, 2014 at 09:23

    Tweezers? He is being too mean!!!!! Maybe some sheep would mow nicer.

    • 31 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:46

      That’s an idea. But, Zippy, would the sheep eat the huge weeds that grow around the house? I mean, they’re thick and nasty.

      • 32 InfiniteZip September 11, 2014 at 15:57

        I hear they eat everything:)

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 16:08

        Even pipes, would you say?

      • 34 InfiniteZip September 11, 2014 at 17:35

        Smoking devices or plumbing?

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 20:31

        Plumbing. The copper ones!

      • 36 InfiniteZip September 12, 2014 at 09:42

        Now I’m not so sure about those, maybe the plastic ones?

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:59

        But they’re bigger, aren’t they, Zippy?

      • 38 InfiniteZip September 12, 2014 at 13:03

        Not necessarily , I will have to ask a plumber, do you recommend one?

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 18:43

        In the PL?

      • 40 InfiniteZip September 13, 2014 at 12:00

        Of course, don’t you have plumbers? Do you have goats? They eat pipes too I think.

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:30

        No! ReallY?

      • 42 InfiniteZip September 13, 2014 at 19:55

        Yes, the metal kind.

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:02

        Goodness. They’ll rip their throats out!

      • 44 InfiniteZip September 15, 2014 at 13:04

        No they won’t , they do it all the time…and they make good cheese too:)

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:46

        I couldn’t do it, could I, Zippy?

      • 46 InfiniteZip September 15, 2014 at 16:08

        You are not a goat, I thought you were a frog?

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 22:25

        Oh yes…that’s right. You have to help me with my mind, Zippy.

      • 48 InfiniteZip September 16, 2014 at 09:25

        You are just a very busy frog trying to stay out of the hot water:)

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2014 at 13:39

        Yes, exactly! It’s hard you know.

  4. 50 Angeline M September 11, 2014 at 03:13

    Poor Ruber. Daddy Salami is being difficult.

    • 51 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:43

      Yes, he is. What do you suppose Ruber should do about it?

      • 52 Angeline M September 11, 2014 at 16:10

        I say it’s time for Ruber to find his own man cave. What’s he doing still living with his Daddy?

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 16:15

        Well, it’s the dark age there, remember. So, he stops by DS’s hut every so often. I mean, DS would hunt him if he left. A pickle, huh?

  5. 54 Louis Hart September 10, 2014 at 22:43

    With tweezers? I hope the hut isn’t on a golf course.

    • 55 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:34

      *laughs* Very good point. Could you imagine how horrid that’d be? The hut is actually surrounded by thick weeds! Poor Ruber.

  6. 56 erinkenobi2893 September 10, 2014 at 20:35

    That clock sounds like the murder victim’s heart in the one short story by Poe. Only sort of in reverse!

    • 57 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:30

      *laughs* Right on! Isn’t Poe scary?

      • 58 erinkenobi2893 September 11, 2014 at 11:57

        He can be! :-P

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:48

        And a bit odd, you must admit.

      • 60 erinkenobi2893 September 12, 2014 at 13:26

        Indeed.

  7. 61 Painting Pundit September 10, 2014 at 17:39

    Well Chickit! Maybe DS can start a clock fight. Clock fighting might become the rage! Soon it will get its own Clock Fighting channel on late night cable vision. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Clock fighting will be the official sport of the Puchy Lands.

    • 62 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:13

      *laughing lots and lots* A grand idea! I mean, it would be a sensation, don’t you think? I bet DS and Dr. Z would like it–in a way.

      • 63 Painting Pundit September 10, 2014 at 20:40

        I would love to see DS and Dr Z in the ring for the first official clock fight!

      • 64 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:30

        *laughs* It’d be brutal! I wonder if they’d do it?

  8. 65 erinkenobi2893 September 10, 2014 at 12:46

    Poor Ruber! It’s really not his fault.

    • 66 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:29

      No, it really wasn’t. He should rebel, don’t you think?

      • 67 erinkenobi2893 September 10, 2014 at 20:51

        Yes, he should.

      • 68 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:33

        But how should he go about it?

      • 69 erinkenobi2893 September 11, 2014 at 12:09

        He should protest, peacefully at first. (Is there anyone of the legal profession in the PL he could talk to?) And then, if nothing comes of it, he should put flies in DS’s soup. :-P

      • 70 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:52

        Yucketh! But great idea. Well, Lucini Pavarinni is a lawyer. But he’s known to be crooked. And Mr. Magi was a judge at one time.

      • 71 erinkenobi2893 September 12, 2014 at 13:31

        Hmmm… it seems that there are not many lawyers or honest courts of law in the PL… is it a civilized place?

      • 72 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 18:48

        Yes and no. In places, I think.

      • 73 erinkenobi2893 September 12, 2014 at 21:01

        Yes, in places, it’s true…

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:19

        Yes, like in Mr. Magi’s cave, for instance.

      • 75 erinkenobi2893 September 15, 2014 at 00:20

        I’ll bet that all the laws of physics do not apply there. ^_^ We should ask him!

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:42

        You know, they don’t! He can always open up a hatch–which is below the Atlantic Ocean–and go into his cave!

      • 77 erinkenobi2893 September 15, 2014 at 23:54

        Wow! That’s interesting. (Maybe I will get better at defying physics as I learn my spells as a warlock? :-P)

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke September 16, 2014 at 13:21

        I hope you do! Then you must teach me!

      • 79 erinkenobi2893 September 16, 2014 at 20:20

        I will do my best, but some spells require intense focus and a lack of distraction (which is hard to do, and which also means that I haven’t correctly done most of those spells yet. College interfered. This is how civilization disrupts magic.)

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:26

        It’s how they fight it, too, I guess.

      • 81 erinkenobi2893 September 17, 2014 at 21:40

        Probably it is.

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke September 18, 2014 at 14:36

        *roars*

      • 83 erinkenobi2893 September 18, 2014 at 15:21

        Irritating, isn’t it?

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke September 18, 2014 at 20:23

        It is! It makes me want to go to war or something.

      • 85 erinkenobi2893 September 19, 2014 at 12:22

        Indeed…

  9. 86 L. Marie September 10, 2014 at 11:57

    Dr. Z is pretty thoughtless. Does he barge everywhere and take whatever he wants? Perhaps everyone should show up for the party and take whatever he or she wants.
    Knowing Ruber, he probably will use the tweezers in one of his ghastly recipes, instead of cutting the grass.

    • 87 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:28

      *laughing* And you know, I bet Dr. Z would be just fine with that. He’s like that. But maybe he was just borrowing the parts?

      And that would be horrid indeed!

  10. 88 Me, Myself and DIY September 10, 2014 at 11:35

    Tweezers for the grass – now there’s a punishment!

    • 89 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:27

      I imagine before long, one would be pulling it out with one’s hands, huh?

  11. 90 walt walker September 9, 2014 at 23:58

    I’m not sure I would fair very well in the PL, what with people coming and going all the time. Someone is always coming in to your hut unannounced, or something. Would make me antsy.

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:27

      That’s true. Never know when one is about to show up. Hey! You could always threaten them if you were invaded. Or keep a real axe about.

  12. 92 icedmocha34 September 9, 2014 at 23:13

    Tweezers for the grass? Now that’s cruel. I wouldn’t even do that to my brother!

    • 93 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:26

      *laughing lots* Does he cut the grass?

      • 94 icedmocha34 September 11, 2014 at 16:34

        Yup. Every Saturday.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 20:27

        Poor chap. It must grow fast. Grows fast here!

      • 96 icedmocha34 September 11, 2014 at 23:38

        It never rains here but our front yard is always overgrown! I don’t get it.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:55

        Now that is a wonder. Rains here all the time.

      • 98 icedmocha34 September 12, 2014 at 16:09

        It’s so hot and dry here…eugh

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 18:58

        Well, perfect weather for sports. But I know you don’t like sports. Do you watch football?

      • 100 icedmocha34 September 12, 2014 at 19:34

        Ew. I HATE football with a passion. I do like soccer though.

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:09

        What?! You hate football? The Pats?

      • 102 icedmocha34 September 15, 2014 at 00:40

        Hate football. My dad and bro are watching it right now, actually.

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:44

        *laughs* What about the Pats?

      • 104 icedmocha34 September 15, 2014 at 17:35

        Nope. Ew.

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 22:25

        Ew?! But…but…but…how?

      • 106 icedmocha34 September 16, 2014 at 20:23

        In my family, football is made more important than church and Sunday lunch and family by my dad and little bro. I hate football.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 14:27

        Yeah, I know what you mean. Football can be so bad that way. It’s really not that important, and really stupid too. You have the right perspective, madam!

      • 108 icedmocha34 September 17, 2014 at 16:38

        Thank you! Finally someone agrees with me!!!! *shoves it in brother’s face*

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke September 17, 2014 at 20:14

        Oh dear. Now he’s mad at me!

  13. 110 The Lite Rider September 9, 2014 at 20:57

    Ever the evil Daddy Salami, managing his “dream home” and his possessions! What a punishment! Poor Ruber! But I bet they get the clock parts back. After Dr. Z has done who knows what to them!

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:22

      I bet you’re right. Yeah…isn’t DS something with his “dream home”? What a rascal. You know, I do think it’s a possibility that Dr. Z somehow manages to break them…wouldn’t that be awful?

      • 112 The Lite Rider September 10, 2014 at 19:47

        Well it is so typical of Dr. Z! He thinks he owns everything PL!

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:29

        Exactly! It must be an interesting feeling.

  14. 114 Sonya Solomonovich September 9, 2014 at 20:46

    I agree with Ruber as I simply hate the ticking sound of clocks. Are there any non-ticking digital clocks in the PL, I wonder?

    • 115 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:21

      Oh, I’m sure there are. You know, the professor agrees with Ruber, too. They’re just annoying. Especially when they bing-bong, you know.

  15. 116 Susan P September 9, 2014 at 19:40

    Wow! That was a harsh punishment. I’ll gladly send him my clock. It rattles every time anyone walks past it.

    • 117 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:17

      But does it tock-tick?

      • 118 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 17:56

        If I don’t forget to wind it up it does tick tock and tock tick. Sometimes it chimes – mostly in a full moon.

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:14

        To warn of the werewolf?

      • 120 Susan P September 10, 2014 at 23:03

        Maybe…. :D Then again…

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:37

        Yes?

      • 122 Susan P September 11, 2014 at 21:43

        Maybe it just kills my hearing.

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 12:51

        Clocks do that.

      • 124 Susan P September 12, 2014 at 19:30

        I learned to wake up at a specific time because I find clocks alarming.

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:06

        *laughing* That’s a good one!

      • 126 Susan P September 13, 2014 at 18:26

        *Curtsies*

  16. 127 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister September 9, 2014 at 19:13

    Neighbors borrow from one another all the time, Duke. Any chance that’s all Z is up to? Knowing what time it is at a party is important. Keeps us from turning into pumpkins. *smiles*

    Friends and/or neighbors would also offer to help Ruber with the grass. Is there anyone in the PL that would be that sort of friend?

    • 128 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:11

      Oh, but, Audith, I’m sure this party will go past 12. Probably till 9 in the morning. It is possible. I mean, he didn’t seem to be about anything wicked, did he?

      Oh yes. MM as well as Schwarz would help Ruber. But you see, Ruber probably won’t do it.

  17. 129 lifeconfusions September 9, 2014 at 18:30

    ‘Go cut the grass’ That was an easy punishment! How about cleaning the bathrooms? :D

    • 130 Micah Kipfer September 9, 2014 at 20:15

      “But father, we only have one bathroom, and it doesn’t even exist.’

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:21

        *laughs* Yes, what do you make of that? I mean, it’s not fair, is it?

    • 132 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:10

      But with tweezers? Wouldn’t that make it rather hard?

      • 133 lifeconfusions September 11, 2014 at 10:28

        Well That’s the point Professor…making it as hard as you can…after all it’s a punishment ! ;)

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:47

        But you see, the professor is a rebellious chap! Isn’t it fun to be rebellious?

      • 135 lifeconfusions September 12, 2014 at 11:53

        It is, especially when Ac/Dc is running in the background :D

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 13:00

        You like ACDC? A wonder!

      • 137 lifeconfusions September 15, 2014 at 14:32

        Well I listen to few of their songs that I like. Do you like them? Rock n Roll and everything ! :D

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 22:15

        I do like them! They’re spicy!

  18. 139 Lady Cheetah September 9, 2014 at 17:59

    Tweezers to cut the grass? Now that is an instrument of cruelty. And why doesn’t DS take responsibility for his own stuff. His house. His clock. Ruber should tell him to fetch his own clock since it means so much.

    • 140 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:10

      *laughing* But could you imagine how mad that would make DS?

      • 141 Lady Cheetah September 10, 2014 at 15:15

        Hmmm. Good point.

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:34

        Of course, you could always try to stab DS. Wouldn’t you try?

      • 143 Lady Cheetah September 10, 2014 at 15:53

        With gloves and your katana, yes.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:07

        Well…I bet you wouldn’t need gloves, ’cause I’m sure the police wouldn’t come after you.

  19. 145 weggieboy September 9, 2014 at 16:28

    If it was tock-ticking, it would drive all the saints in heaven into a frenzy! Who could get on the right beat with that?!

    • 146 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:04

      *laughs* Good point. It would be dadblame hard!

  20. 147 FictionFan September 9, 2014 at 16:13

    I find it surprising that my Schwarzy should be hanging around with Ruber. Ruber is so rude and, quite frankly, crude while Schwarzy is so suave and sophisticated…and intellectual. I wonder if he’s on a secret mission…

    See, I kinda hold Ruber responsible too – why didn’t he try to stop Dr Z? What a wuss!! Anyway, it’s time he got his own apartment – I suspect that’s why DS is so mean to him, to try to ‘encourage’ him to move out…and you can see his point…

    • 148 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 15:03

      But…they’re friends! I mean, look here, Ruber isn’t that crude–or rude. I mean, look here, Schwarz can be rude at times! And, shouldn’t you hold Schwarz a bit responsible, too?

      But, you see, FEF, there are no apartments left. Did you know DS had a treehouse?

      • 149 FictionFan September 10, 2014 at 21:08

        I suspect Schwarzy’s just trying to provide Ruber with a good role-model. My Schwarzy is never rude!!! He’s just honest. And why should he be responsible, hmm? Was it his house? His clock? No, I thought not! You just pick on him…and we both know why!

        Then DS should buy him a tent and a backpack. I didn’t know trees lived in houses…so Punchyish…

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:38

        Hmm! You just seem to favor that brute to the…to the…umph degree or something! I bet Schwarz can’t run a studio! Schwarz could have said something if he was being a role model!

        *laughs* No, it’s a treehouse, dadblameit!

      • 151 FictionFan September 11, 2014 at 13:41

        *laughing delightedly* Oooh, sooo c&a!! As, of course, is my lovely Schwarzy. But…you make a valid point about the studio thing. Only my Mic has the skills and talent for that! *torn*

        So why does he have a treehouse? I think we should be todl, dadblameit!!

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:58

        *bangs head on…some object somewhere* I think you try to make the professor jealous! Mic is on vacation, you know…

        Well, he lives there sometime! It’s built in the trees, you see.

      • 153 FictionFan September 11, 2014 at 18:22

        Who? Me? *whistles innocently* Ah, that’ll be why all the posts have been late this week – poor C-W-W! I hope he comes back soon… *skips off*

        Frankly I’m stunned! All this time and you’ve never mentioned that he’s a monkey…

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 20:36

        Yes! The FEF! I have been rather late. That’s what happens when it rains!

        He’s not a monkey, dadblameit!

      • 155 FictionFan September 12, 2014 at 14:11

        Goodness! It must happen in Scotland all the time then!

        Then why on earth does he live up a tree then?? I think you’re just trying to confuse me, dadblameit!!

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke September 12, 2014 at 18:51

        Well, if I lived there, yes!

        *laughs* Have you ever been in a treehouse?

      • 157 FictionFan September 13, 2014 at 01:41

        Ah, if the Professor lived in Scotland, the sun would shine every day… (if you want to gag a little over that, I’ll understand completely!)

        Sadly no – yet another of those wonderful life experiences that I’ve missed out on. I have however climbed many a tree in my time – though I always found getting up considerably easier than getting down…

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke September 13, 2014 at 18:25

        *laughs* No gagging necessary! We both know it’s a lie!!!

        *goggle eyes* You’ve climbed trees? I don’t believe it. I mean, what a surprise! Just like a cat, you know.

      • 159 FictionFan September 14, 2014 at 00:05

        Ah, the wonders of the internet mean you bring sunshine to Scotland even though you’re far, far away… *waits for him to gag this time*

        *laughing* I’d love to know what image you have of me – not all girls are like Becky, you know!

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke September 15, 2014 at 13:07

        Won’t gag!! I liked this one even better. If the sun was blackish, that is.

        Well…I didn’t see FEF as the tree-climbing type! But I was wrong. Very interesting…

  21. 161 Debbie September 9, 2014 at 14:44

    A thief in the neighborhood? And a brazen one at that! Well, at least they solved the problem of the noisy clock — but don’t you think cutting the lawn with tweezers was a bit on the harsh side for punishment?!

    • 162 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 15:02

      Yes, I do! And…the weeds are so thick around DS’s hut. Do you suppose Ruber should not do it? He probably won’t, once he gets outside.

      Dr. Zauberer probably didn’t view it as stealing. He’s mislead.

  22. 163 Simply Skeptical September 9, 2014 at 14:23

    Laughing quite a lot. The innocence, if that’s what it is, of Schwarz is outrageously beguiling (oh, but in a likeable way of course).

    Only Salami, Rubie’s loving Daddy, could think to teach such a loving lesson with tweezers to cut the lawn. What a DAD!

    How shall they go about getting the clock’s innards back? Quite a prospect to contemplate.

    • 164 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 15:01

      You do have to admit, though, he asked a grand question.

      He’s amazing. I mean, it’s not abuse or anything. Ruber is full grown, you know.

      It is. I bet DS has no idea how to do something like that.

  23. 165 PorterGirl September 9, 2014 at 14:19

    Quite a harsh punishment, there, but I would expect no less from DS. Another party in the PL – the place is rockin’! I love PL parties and one day I shall go, whether I am invited or not.

    I shall be very interested to see how DS gets his clock part back *rubs hands together and grins*

    • 166 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 15:00

      That’s the spirit! You should just come. That’s what I’d do. And bring the Dean and Head Porter.

      Yes! That should be an interest. I bet he doesn’t even know how to put together clocks.

      It is a harsh punishment.

      • 167 PorterGirl September 9, 2014 at 15:40

        I will, certainly. I will ask The Dean (when he is out of prison) and Head Porter – I imagine they would love to come! Should I bring anything? A dessert, maybe?

        I bet you are right, Professor. The cad!

      • 168 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 14:59

        Sure! I love deserts…maybe those muffins and cookies you like? Wait…scones, too. Maybe. And a cake. And punch.

        *laughing* That is such a perfect name for him!

      • 169 PorterGirl September 10, 2014 at 15:39

        I shall bring all of those things. The Dean will bring fine whiskey. Head Porter will promise not to charm The Ladies too much, in case it upsets Mr R.

      • 170 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:04

        You know, I bet Mr. R and Head Porter will get on rather well.

      • 171 PorterGirl September 10, 2014 at 18:41

        I think you could be right. I think we should visit the PL and introduce ourselves.

      • 172 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 22:24

        Yes…but where do we start? I mean, where in the PL?

      • 173 PorterGirl September 11, 2014 at 07:27

        Let me think on it… I will pop you an email *big grin*

      • 174 Professor VJ Duke September 11, 2014 at 15:44

        Sweet!

  24. 175 sonmicloud September 9, 2014 at 14:05

    There should be respect for clocks, Time is a rascal and might start playing rough if someone goes around nicking clockwork left right and centre. Dr Zauberer is very rude, but sounds like he has nice hair. Tweezers for the grass cutting is inspired punishment, so hats off to Daddy Salami. *takes off the snazzy top hat she has been wearing today and places it on the Cloud*.

    – sonmicloud

    • 176 Professor VJ Duke September 9, 2014 at 14:59

      I think you’re right about time. I think it stops around the professor, yo know.

      *laughing* Now how do you know this about Dr. Z? He actually does have long black hair. To his shoulders. Very fashionable, I assure you.

      It is! Imagine how long that would take….

      What a wonderful top hat! Can I borrow it?

      • 177 sonmicloud September 9, 2014 at 15:12

        Ah but in his description he has auburn long hair, so if he dyed it black I’m taking the compliment back. All men suit long hair, apart from the ones who suit it short I find.

        You can indeed borrow the top hat, but it must be only worn during wholesome acts. Just so you know *laughs and hands it over*

        – sonmicloud

      • 178 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 14:56

        Oh dear. You’re right. A professorish mistake, I assure you. Maybe it was just disguise? I really don’t know. You like men better with longer hair?

        *laughs* Now, what doesn’t count as a wholesome act?

      • 179 sonmicloud September 10, 2014 at 15:49

        *sonmicloud is cursed with always being correct. It a weight she has come to accept.*

        I have no preference hair-wise, though a face like a slapped arse is avoided.

        What doesn’t count as a wholesome act? *laughs for quite a long time*. And indeed it would take someone far less lady-like than I to describe anything so vulgar. *laughs again*.

        – sonmicloud

      • 180 Professor VJ Duke September 10, 2014 at 18:06

        Wow. I didn’t know that! But the professor is always righter, you know.

        Goodness me, says I!

        Oh, then we better not even whisper it!


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