Where the Professor Should Live–Probably

In truth, this is true: the professor has been having thinks about things.

For instance…I’ve been thinking, in particular, about this lovely place, here:

bering_tmo_2013097_lrg

Now, you may agree with this professor. As soon as I saw this place, I had speaks with myself. I said, “This is a lovely place for the professor’s house.”

Which could be put here:

Screen Shot 2014-10-15 at 8.21.25 AM

 

Lovely, don’t you think?

Here’s the top professorish reasons for moving there:

1. My house will be on a mountain. Nay, a snowy cold mountain. Any attackers will have the time of their life trying to breach the professorish fort.

2. It’s very cold. Which means Japanese Hornets can’t come around. (Or killer bees, for that matter.)

Screen Shot 2014-08-12 at 9.28.13 AMt1larg_bees_gi

 

(Actually, I’d like to see a battle–a vicious one, mind you–between the Japanese Hornets and many Killer Bees.)

3. Plus, I could go sledding.

Good reasons, wouldn’t you say?

ProfVJDuke2-2

 

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167 Responses to “Where the Professor Should Live–Probably”


  1. 1 janeybgood January 9, 2015 at 16:34

    Somebody might have said this but you could also reenact amazing scenes from movies, like Inception. Or reenact short stories, like To Build a Fire….or build a rocket house like Mr. Burns and Homer. Oh the possibilities.

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke January 10, 2015 at 00:03

      That’s so true! If I don’t freeze first, you know.

  2. 3 icedmocha34 November 1, 2014 at 02:18

    I want to live in New York someday, in a cramped little apartment smooshed between the huge office building where my publisher resides and the beautiful, artsy place where my uncle and aunt live. Someday, someday…

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke November 1, 2014 at 17:32

      And then, Peter Parker might swing through your window, and you’d be forced to shoot him.

  3. 5 erinkenobi2893 October 28, 2014 at 13:01

    Very good reasons, Professor!
    I live in a forest. Well, a forest and a tundra, and sometimes I grow yucca. It’s a puzzlement and an oddity.

    • 6 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2014 at 20:15

      Yucca…that’s sounds cool. Is it edible?

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 October 29, 2014 at 13:20

        The flowers are, I think. But mostly it makes soap, ;-)

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke October 29, 2014 at 13:42

        Soap…now that is cool.

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 October 30, 2014 at 00:21

        Yup! And it’s less hard on your hair than store-bought shampoo. ;-)

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 13:24

        Which is good. I think it’s cool that you have those about.

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 November 1, 2014 at 19:35

        :-D Yeah, they’re cool. And surprisingly hardy.

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke November 2, 2014 at 23:51

        Do you get snow?

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 November 3, 2014 at 14:40

        Yes, indeed.

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 15:42

        *nods*

  4. 15 Nancy Loderick October 21, 2014 at 20:41

    Hey Professor,

    That looks like a lovely place to live! Except I wonder if you can get an Internet connection there. After all, how would you do the Punchy Lands thing then?

    Nancy

    • 16 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2014 at 23:33

      Such a good point! I don’t know. It’d be a wonder. You know…maybe I could bring a wire from somewhere?

      • 17 Nancy Loderick October 22, 2014 at 16:31

        Hey Professors,

        Yes, wires would work. Now the question is, which wire? Or maybe any wire would do?

        Nancy

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2014 at 19:36

        Maybe the red one?

      • 19 Nancy Loderick October 23, 2014 at 15:34

        Hey Professor,

        I’m partial to the blue one, since blue is my favorite color.

        Hey, I bet if you used both the red and blue wires, your Internet connection would be super fast. That, or else, you might blow up your house. :)

        Nancy

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2014 at 15:56

        *laughs* And we wouldn’t want that! Imagine th–well, it would provide some heat.

  5. 21 L. Marie October 20, 2014 at 17:22

    Seems like a great place to me. You also wouldn’t be bothered by mosquitoes.

    • 22 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2014 at 19:05

      *nods* Yes…that’s definitely a plus. And then, there’s lots of excuses for hot chocolate.

  6. 23 Me, Myself and DIY October 17, 2014 at 12:16

    You *really* hate bugs don’t you?

    • 24 Professor VJ Duke October 18, 2014 at 19:03

      Well…don’t you hate those big ugly ones, too?

  7. 25 Catherine October 17, 2014 at 04:05

    Those are very good reasons! I’d just be worried about getting too cold…but if the professor has a warm jacket he’ll be fine, I think. And the location is pretty, too!

    • 26 Professor VJ Duke October 18, 2014 at 18:59

      Yes! And do you suppose, doing pull-ups would keep one warm?

      • 27 Catherine October 18, 2014 at 23:09

        Yes, probably! But not as warm as a fire or jacket.

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2014 at 18:54

        I suppose you’re right…but, maybe, if one’s muscles get big enough the cold can’t come in!

      • 29 Catherine October 22, 2014 at 03:24

        *laughing* This is true. You should try it and see, professor!

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2014 at 19:30

        *laughing* So much work, though.

      • 31 Catherine October 28, 2014 at 03:17

        That is very true. If it makes you feel any better, I would probably not want to do that much work either.

      • 32 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2014 at 20:04

        Yeah…that helps…imagine how sore one would be!

      • 33 Catherine October 30, 2014 at 14:08

        Ouch. VERY sore…

      • 34 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:06

        But maybe it’s a good sore.

      • 35 Catherine November 1, 2014 at 20:22

        You DO get stronger because of it…

      • 36 Professor VJ Duke November 2, 2014 at 23:55

        Now that is rather true. And rather truths are rather compelling.

      • 37 Catherine November 5, 2014 at 03:00

        *laughs* That is true! Perhaps you could test it out on someone else first, and see if it works.

      • 38 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 13:46

        *nods* I’ll have to give it a go.

  8. 39 Debbie October 16, 2014 at 19:18

    Professor, I think perhaps you might want to have more speaks with yourself before doing something this rash. I don’t see any roads around that mountain — how would you get supplies?? how would help get to you if you needed it?? Gee, I don’t know, but it looks rather desolate to me!

    • 40 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 23:04

      Well, couldn’t I sled into town?

  9. 41 lifeconfusions October 16, 2014 at 16:44

    Quiet the reasons, But good luck keeping your blood from freezing in your veins ! :D

    • 42 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 23:04

      Don’t you think the sledding might stop that?

      • 43 lifeconfusions October 17, 2014 at 16:04

        I find it hard to imagine Mr.Professor sledding especially with that mustache ! :P :D

      • 44 Professor VJ Duke October 18, 2014 at 19:06

        But why? But why?

  10. 45 The Lite Rider October 15, 2014 at 20:12

    Really? *There?!* Ok, then, I’ll go for it — along with the insect war! ;-)

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:57

      Now, who are you pulling for in the insect war? I’m going with the bees.

      Yes, there! Imagine the snowball fights.

      • 47 The Lite Rider October 16, 2014 at 20:55

        Proabably the bees!

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 23:08

        The hornets–three of them–can clear a hive of 20000 honey bees in no time!

  11. 49 E. October 15, 2014 at 18:34

    That’s pretty much the best of all places! I recommend a snow shovel though. And a snow mobile. Or a pack of sled dogs! Should probably invest an a UV lamp too, for those long dark winter months. :)

  12. 50 E. October 15, 2014 at 18:34

    That’s pretty much the best of all places! I recommend a snow shovel though. And a snow mobile. Or a pack of sled dogs! Should probably invest an a UV lamp too, for those long dark winter months. :)

    • 51 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:57

      All good suggestions! Do you think I’d have to feed the dogs?

      • 52 E. October 15, 2014 at 23:09

        Only if you wanted them to be alive.

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 12:06

        Which I would, dadblameit! Not a very good question. While I’m there, I’ll get a few arctic foxes, E!

  13. 54 weggieboy October 15, 2014 at 17:41

    Absolutely! For the comfort of all parties!

    • 55 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:56

      Would it be cold?

  14. 56 Simply Skeptical October 15, 2014 at 16:21

    Yep! If for no other reason than lack of the insect persuasion I could find it a cozy – no place like home – spot too! Make sure to bring lots of blankets and fire starters Prof! (Laughing)

    • 57 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:56

      I will! And gasoline and…mittens. Don’t you think I’ll need mittens?

      • 58 Simply Skeptical October 17, 2014 at 22:06

        Just don’t wear them while starting the fire. Unless they’re fire-proof. :-)

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke October 18, 2014 at 19:06

        Well…I wonder how you make something fire-proof.

  15. 60 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 15, 2014 at 15:58

    *starts shopping for cold weather hiking clothes so she can visit* This place looks nice, but challenging, Duke.

    I don’t want to witness that fight. Not. At. All.

    Nice picture!!

    • 61 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:52

      Oh, it could be. You’ll have to bring that scarf you wore to see that movie. There’ll be fires and wood, and Yetis.

      Aren’t you curious who would win?

      *bows* That’s me, you know.

      • 62 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 16, 2014 at 00:34

        Could be fun living so high up. I would like the quiet a lot. That is if you can keep the Yetis under control. Maybe you guys could start a band, then there would be plenty of time for you to teach me sword fighting and a new cord on the Strat. The D is getting old…
        My scarf? You remember…how romantic of you, Duke. Yes, I will pack my scarves…all of them, unless I visit in the summer. Do you know I just wrote a poem about a fire…*shocked face* Marshmellows, too??

        Yes, but…I think we could be stung watching.

        Yes, I know…I like this one, but….well…now I miss the green one…

      • 63 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 12:16

        Well, just pick up your middle finger and you add an E note. That turns the chord into a D2! A band…wouldn’t that cause an avalanche, though? And, then, imagine how mean the Yeti would be then! Yes, I just saw that poem. What about a marshmallow?

        We’d watch from a house on a hill.

        Was there one?

      • 64 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 16, 2014 at 14:01

        Okay, thanks for that, Duke…
        Yes, an avalanche could clear out a few drifts, which would be helpful. The Yeti might like the updated look. Well, cook one, I guess.

        Seems fair enough, I guess. Gets some netting just in case.

        Stop it…yes, Duke.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 23:02

        I bet you don’t have a guitar! *growls* An avalanche would be fun, though.

        Good idea.

        I forget all the time.

      • 66 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 17, 2014 at 03:12

        I don’t you’re right. I wish I did, so I could try. Send me your strat. *smiles* And destructive, which I know you like.

        Thanks.

        You don’t forget everything.

      • 67 Professor VJ Duke October 18, 2014 at 18:59

        But…it’s my baby!

        Only everything every so often.

      • 68 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 18, 2014 at 19:33

        That’s okay. I wouldn’t accept it anyway.

        Yeah, seems so, Duke.

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2014 at 18:53

        It’s nice, I think. I’m thinking of getting a classical guitar with pick-ups, actually.

      • 70 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 20, 2014 at 20:00

        I bet it is nice. Too nice to mail. Ooo, will it be shiny? What’s a pick-ups?

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2014 at 14:30

        Well…the ability to be plugged in to an amp! See, the strat has three. And you can switch between them. It’s like an acoustic player moving his hand towards the bridge or closer over the sound hole.

      • 72 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 21, 2014 at 19:30

        Ahhh, sounds like a good idea to me. Very useful. Buy one soon and play for me. (Where are you today? No post…you okay?)

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2014 at 23:33

        I’m thinking about it… It’d make playing at a certain place easier…and it is a new toy! (Just trying to sort some things. You know, the professor is never okay.)

      • 74 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 22, 2014 at 02:39

        Well, I’m all for making things easier. Toys are nice. I’m happy you may get yourself something new. (Okay… No, I didn’t know that, Duke. I wish you would tell me.)

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2014 at 19:29

        Aw, that’s nice of you, I say! (Well… *laughs* It’s not near as bad as it sounds.)

      • 76 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 22, 2014 at 20:29

        (Calls off the hounds)

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2014 at 15:53

        Goodness! I didn’t know you had hounds.

      • 78 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 24, 2014 at 20:03

        I didn’t know you’d be gone all week, so I called them in to sniff you out.

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2014 at 19:07

        Did they find me?

      • 80 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 27, 2014 at 02:32

        No. *sad face*

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke October 27, 2014 at 13:15

        That’s because I went into the river to throw off the scent.

      • 82 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 27, 2014 at 13:35

        Makes complete sense and figured as much. The hounds would have searched and searched had you not explained.

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2014 at 00:24

        Give them some bacon, then.

      • 84 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 28, 2014 at 12:51

        Oh, I gave them bacon when they brought me your pipe. They were close to getting you, you see.

      • 85 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2014 at 20:12

        But…my pipe?! I’m missing it too.

      • 86 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 29, 2014 at 03:56

        *puffs out bubbles* You are…

      • 87 Professor VJ Duke October 29, 2014 at 13:37

        Ew! You put soap in my pipe!

      • 88 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 29, 2014 at 19:46

        Figured I’d clean it. *sparkles for helping*

      • 89 Professor VJ Duke October 29, 2014 at 20:59

        Wish I could sparkle.

      • 90 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 30, 2014 at 02:49

        You do. I see you doing it all the time.

      • 91 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 13:30

        No! Really?

      • 92 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 30, 2014 at 20:12

        Yes! Yeah, really.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:18

        Well, I say, that’s rather cool.

      • 94 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 31, 2014 at 04:10

        You don’t really think so…stop lying.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:53

        Well, wish I could see what it looks like.

      • 96 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 31, 2014 at 20:05

        Try looking at yourself in the mirror.

      • 97 Professor VJ Duke November 1, 2014 at 17:22

        The face I see staring back at me is ugly.

      • 98 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 3, 2014 at 00:24

        Can I be the judge of that, Duke?

      • 99 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 15:36

        Umm…nah!

  16. 100 InfiniteZip October 15, 2014 at 15:46

    Except I shan’t be able to visit as I detest snow ,being old and creaky in my age….

    • 101 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:49

      *laughs* You’re not creaky! But, Zippy, wouldn’t you like to sled?

      • 102 InfiniteZip October 16, 2014 at 09:20

        Well, maybe…but my friend broke his leg doing that…it didn’t help six of us sledding down a ski slope mogul hill on one sled, hit a good bump and we landed on him…owie….

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 12:18

        Ow! *thinks about how he sleds and knows he’s lucky* Did it get fixed?

      • 104 InfiniteZip October 16, 2014 at 15:32

        I think so, I was little, never saw him again after the ambulance came….maybe he died?

      • 105 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 23:03

        Oh dear. Was it sad, then?

      • 106 InfiniteZip October 17, 2014 at 09:17

        It must have been, I think he just died of embarrassment having a bunch of girls break his leg :)

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke October 18, 2014 at 19:02

        Is that what happened? It was a set-up, Zippy!

      • 108 InfiniteZip October 19, 2014 at 12:01

        No, we really felt bad, but sleds aren’t equipped to hold that many kids… We needed a bigger one and not an icy ski slope hill :)

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2014 at 18:56

        *nods* But I bet it was fun for a bit!

  17. 110 Angeline M October 15, 2014 at 15:31

    All perfect reasons for a move. You’ve had some good thinks here, PVJ. Only one thing to consider is that if you go sledding, and what fun that would be, just remember that what goes down must turn around and go up so take your snow shoes on the sled for the return trip.

    • 111 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:48

      That’s such a good point! Do you suppose it would be possible to build a sort of lift to bring me back up?

  18. 112 LadyPinkRose October 15, 2014 at 14:59

    Please, Professor, you must make up your mind. You cannot live on this mountain and live in my forest at the same time. This is an either or situation. Come now, which will it be? You can tell me, oh pretty please. Love, LadyP

    • 113 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:46

      *laughing lots and lots* Lady, you’re not supposed to notice that sort of thing, are you?

      • 114 LadyPinkRose October 16, 2014 at 15:10

        Oh, but I do, I do, Professor, for LadyP is very smart. Not much gets past her, let me tell ya! I’m glad you laughed which in turn made me *giggle* OUTLOUD. Hehehehehehe Love, LadyP

      • 115 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 23:03

        A lot gets past me, you know.

      • 116 LadyPinkRose October 16, 2014 at 23:38

        I must disagree, I must I must. I think you just say these things to throw us all off.

      • 117 Professor VJ Duke October 18, 2014 at 18:56

        Now why would you think that?

      • 118 LadyPinkRose October 18, 2014 at 19:47

        *tongue in cheek* Oops, sorry, Professor, but the cat stole my tongue. YOU are the Master of disguises. You tell me.

      • 119 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2014 at 18:53

        I don’t wear a wig, except when I do, you know.

      • 120 LadyPinkRose October 21, 2014 at 20:50

        Of course. No surprise there.

      • 121 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2014 at 23:34

        *sticks tongue out*

      • 122 LadyPinkRose October 22, 2014 at 00:16

        EEKS! How OLD are YOU? *eye roll*

      • 123 Professor VJ Duke October 22, 2014 at 19:26

        Approaching 181.

      • 124 LadyPinkRose October 22, 2014 at 19:57

        Prove it!!!! ++++++ ======= ______

      • 125 Professor VJ Duke October 24, 2014 at 15:49

        Okay, I did it.

      • 126 LadyPinkRose October 24, 2014 at 21:31

        ‘CUSE me? Did what exactly?

      • 127 Professor VJ Duke October 26, 2014 at 19:07

        Proved that I’m 88.

      • 128 LadyPinkRose October 26, 2014 at 21:31

        It’s been hit and miss of late. Hope life hasn’t been wacking you as it has me. If you are 88, I’m that too then. So there!

      • 129 Professor VJ Duke October 27, 2014 at 13:11

        How’ve you been, LadyP?

      • 130 LadyPinkRose October 27, 2014 at 14:04

        In between a hard place and a hard rock. Yet landing on my feet like a cat. :-)

      • 131 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2014 at 00:25

        *high-five*

      • 132 LadyPinkRose October 28, 2014 at 01:23

        *curtsies” Thank you, Professor. Thank you! Love, LadyP

      • 133 Professor VJ Duke October 28, 2014 at 20:01

        *bows*

  19. 134 Farah October 15, 2014 at 14:58

    Oh God, those hornets are terrifying. Definitely a good reason for living in the cold!

    • 135 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:46

      Definitely! Do you suppose, if I captured a few, I could train them…to be like an army for me?

      • 136 Farah October 15, 2014 at 22:49

        That is by far the best idea I’ve heard in a while! But how would you train them if, you know, they have a tendency to attack?

      • 137 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:58

        Yes, that would be quite hard… Do you think they’d sting me if I fed them honey?

      • 138 Farah October 16, 2014 at 11:43

        No, you’ll be fine. Hornets are suckers for honey, I’m sure.

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 12:19

        Great! Now, I wonder…how should I capture them?

      • 140 Farah October 16, 2014 at 13:55

        Lure them in to a false sense of security and then BAM. Drop a cage on them (preferably with no holes)

      • 141 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 22:59

        *laughing* I love how you think! Sounds like a plan. Now…to get some courage to carry it out!

  20. 142 Julie Harris October 15, 2014 at 14:53

    Those Japanese hornets are quite frightening!! I have never seen anything like those. That is one good thing about cold weather- no bugs!

    • 143 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:45

      *nods* Could you imagine getting stung by one of those?!

  21. 144 walt walker October 15, 2014 at 13:23

    Now for the sledding you might want to wait until you need supplies from town, I think, because that’s probably about how far you’d go.

    • 145 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:45

      Good point. Now…do you think I could get a sled like the Grinch had?

      • 146 walt walker October 16, 2014 at 01:23

        Probably, if you ask the Veezler, or Smes. I would think they could hook you up. One of them. Don’t you?

      • 147 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 12:16

        I bet the Veezler has tried that whole operation before, don’t you think so?

      • 148 walt walker October 16, 2014 at 17:02

        Yes, I bet he’s pretty good at it.

      • 149 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 23:04

        But it wouldn’t be hard. The Who’s don’t have any defense.

  22. 150 PorterGirl October 15, 2014 at 13:12

    Those are good reasons, especially about the hornets. Those things frighten me – eek! And you are right about attackers. But it might be a little difficult for guests to visit easily. Unless… you don’t like having lots of guests, then it’s perfect. Also, you could sing loudly and no one would complain about the noise.

    • 151 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:44

      Aren’t they terrible? Imagine things like that. I bet it’s a lie. Hey! Maybe the professor sounds good when he sings. (He probably doesn’t.) Yes…I would get lonely. That’s true. Maybe I could capture some arctic foxes?

      • 152 PorterGirl October 16, 2014 at 08:55

        I hope they are just an invented thing designed to scare people. (There is a big news story in the UK about a giant crab loitering off the coastline of Devon, I think. It’s about 50 feet across! But it would be a hoax).

        I bet you have a super singing voice, Professor. I find, the louder one sings the better it sounds. So just sing loudly!

        Arctic foxes make good companions, I believe. or, if the foxes won’t come in, maybe a cat with a woolly cardigan would do.

      • 153 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 12:18

        I hope so, too. A crab? Wowawee! You should go and shave some crab meat, if you like such things. But he might be hard to tackle.

        Sing louder! Perfect advice. Thank you, Lucy.

        I think I would like a cardigan, now that I think about it.

      • 154 PorterGirl October 16, 2014 at 12:26

        I think the giant crab is a cunning hoax but I do wish it was real. I would eat it all up!

        Pleased to be of assistance, Professor.

        You might look quite nice in a cardigan. It would certainly keep you warm.

      • 155 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 22:58

        I love crab, which is odd, since I don’t like seafood much!

        *bows*

        I bet only girls where them!

      • 156 PorterGirl October 17, 2014 at 07:19

        I’m not usually a fan of seafood either. I tried a scallop the other week and quite liked it. Weird texture, though.

        Chaps wear them too! You can get really manly ones.

      • 157 Professor VJ Duke October 18, 2014 at 19:01

        Yes! Isn’t that it? The texture to this sea beasts is just off, isn’t it?

        Nice! With pictures of blood or something.

      • 158 PorterGirl October 20, 2014 at 07:37

        Sea beasts are a little unnerving, both to look at and to eat. Give me noodles, any day.

        And wolves.

      • 159 Professor VJ Duke October 20, 2014 at 18:57

        Yes, noodles. With wolves outside.

      • 160 PorterGirl October 20, 2014 at 19:18

        Sounds perfect!

      • 161 Professor VJ Duke October 21, 2014 at 14:21

        *laughs*

  23. 162 FictionFan October 15, 2014 at 13:05

    But perhaps the Japanese hornets and killer bees have little woolly suits and beanies…

    There are a couple of advantages though. You’d be able to pop round to visit the Yeti when you got bored and, more importantly, you’d be able to keep a huge stock of ice lollies ready for unexpected guests….

    • 163 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:43

      *laughing* No! We must make sure they don’t! I bet you don’t have any bees in Scotland!

      The Yeti is probably evil, though…don’t you think? And he might take the ice lollies.

      • 164 FictionFan October 16, 2014 at 00:01

        I could knit them with little tiny needles… Oh yes we do! Tough, hardy ones with little umbrellas attached to their heads!

        Maybe it thinks you’re evil, though. You could make an alliance to fight off any marauding mountain goats. You wouldn’t let him though… *nods confidently*

      • 165 Professor VJ Duke October 16, 2014 at 12:07

        Needles are scary, you know. Umbrellas? Goodness.

        Now, we must feel a bit bad for the mountain goats.

  24. 166 sonmicloud October 15, 2014 at 12:57

    Excellent reasons. Also, you’ll never be short of ice for shorts (ones lifted in the hand rather than ones worn for tennis, which shouldn’t be lifted at all as its not that kind of party), should you or any of your guests fancy a tipple.

    – sonmicloud

    • 167 Professor VJ Duke October 15, 2014 at 22:42

      What is an ice for short mean, though? I fear the professor is a bit confused, you see.


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TPL Schedule

Sunday: OFF — Day of Shalt Nots

Monday: TPL Story

Tuesday: OFF — Because I'm Gone

Wednesday: Professor Speaks

Thursday: OFF — Because Yes

Friday: OFF — All Day Sleep Does

Saturday: OFF — Blue-Footed Boobies Need Fed

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Professorish Smiley:

==[:-{)=

or

==[:-{)+

Depends on the day, see.

Punchy Argot:

1. Dadblameit.
2. Humdinger
3. Chickit
4. Chicky-woot-woot
5. Malediction
6. Rapscallion
7. Gardoobled
8. Congratulilolations
9. Togoggin
10. Gargonic
11. Two and Five Gurgles
12. Rats and a Heifer
13. Two nods, a wink, and an astroid
14. A bit, bits, and little bits
15. Huff-Hum and a Roar
16. So many thanks, I can't begin to thank you
17. Ri-do-diculous


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