Name Calling

So, you know how it usually happens.

The professor is about when something dreadfully vexing happens. Well, in this case, it wasn’t vexing, just a bit silly.

And maybe embarrassing.

Especially after all I’ve said about that fellow with the wig and sandals named Darcy.

You see, this professor had stopped by…well, now that I think about it, I’m not sure what type of place it was. But it was a place where one could get some food.

But it wasn’t a normal place.

But it wasn’t normal food.

But it wasn’t a normal place.

Anyway, I had placed my order, and a name was asked for.

Now, you must understand, that this professor is secretive. You see, I don’t go by my real name when I’m out (i.e. Professor VJ Duke), for then this professor might get into trouble.

So, I gave my fake name for this order, and…well, they must have gotten the name wrong.

This was the name on the order. And I think I promise it wasn’t the name I gave. Professorish promise.

DSC00617

 

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160 Responses to “Name Calling”


  1. 1 Nancy Loderick November 4, 2014 at 19:27

    Well Professor,

    You are a professor, no matter what name you go by. . .Some things can’t be hidden. :)

    Nancy

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 13:39

      Yes, yes! But Fitz…I wouldn’t pick that name in…a million years!

  2. 3 Painting Pundit November 3, 2014 at 01:55

    I think you are having another Jane Austen fit. Put the book down and step away. There. Doesn’t that feel better? Now choose a new name from the Brontes. They are much more professor-ish.

    • 4 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 15:37

      Are there good ones to choose from?

      • 5 Painting Pundit November 3, 2014 at 15:46

        Heathcliff is always good but a bit overused. Still much better than Fitz or Darcy!

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 15:47

        Yes! *nearly dies* Can you believe I was called that?

      • 7 Painting Pundit November 3, 2014 at 15:49

        HaHa!! Surprisingly yes I can!

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 21:03

        *shocked face* But…how?

      • 9 Painting Pundit November 3, 2014 at 22:13

        It’s the mysterious origins and the dark moodiness!

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2014 at 14:20

        *laughs* We’re mortal enemies–the Darby and I.

  3. 11 erinkenobi2893 November 2, 2014 at 13:40

    Oh, dear. :-P That’s crazy. (I work at a Dairy Queen. I should know. :-P )

    • 12 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 00:01

      *laughs* Have similar things happened there?

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 November 4, 2014 at 01:05

        Somewhat. ;-P

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2014 at 14:30

        Well, at least you’re around cool ice cream.

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 November 4, 2014 at 14:47

        It’s not as tantalizing as you might think. :-P

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 13:31

        Yeah, I bet it gets old.

      • 17 erinkenobi2893 November 5, 2014 at 13:32

        Somewhat. ;-)

  4. 18 The Lite Rider November 1, 2014 at 19:44

    Pick a name, any name! It could cause Fitz to have a fit! ;-)

    • 19 Professor VJ Duke November 2, 2014 at 23:52

      *laughs* Okay…how about. Bogortcop?

      • 20 The Lite Rider November 3, 2014 at 22:56

        Well, Professor. That is a good one!

      • 21 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2014 at 14:22

        *laughs* It’s an interest, true.

  5. 22 L. Marie October 31, 2014 at 15:29

    I wondered the same thing as Simpy Skeptical, since you mentioned Darcy in the post.

    • 23 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:57

      Umm…I hope not! Do you suppose that’s what they meant?

      • 24 L. Marie November 4, 2014 at 12:56

        Of course! He’s everywhere these days! Masterpiece Theater had a two-part show featuring Darcy.

      • 25 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2014 at 14:33

        Was that the murder one?

  6. 26 Simply Skeptical October 31, 2014 at 00:36

    Does this have something to do with FITZwilliam Darcy?

    • 27 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:45

      No! Of course not. *sweats*

  7. 28 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 30, 2014 at 20:22

    *looks around hoping the intended person gets the joke* I always use someone else’s name when ordering. Makes complete sense to me.

    • 29 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:19

      I didn’t get the joke. What is it? You do? Mr. Warrior’s?

      • 30 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 31, 2014 at 04:17

        Maybe a friend if Darcy’s will explain. I do. Yeah, he likes it when I do that. *smiles* But another name, as well, more often than not.

      • 31 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:53

        What other name? Darcy doesn’t have friends, I fear.

      • 32 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister October 31, 2014 at 20:07

        That would give me away. Oh, I bet he does to.

      • 33 Professor VJ Duke November 1, 2014 at 17:24

        Isn’t Audrey Dawn your real name?

      • 34 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 3, 2014 at 00:25

        Yes! Of course it is.

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 15:36

        Well, then, what other name do you use, madam? *maybe vexed*

      • 36 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 3, 2014 at 22:16

        Mostly, Bob, I think. Easy to say and no one says…”How do you spell that?”

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2014 at 14:21

        *laughs* Bob is a good one to give… *laughs again*

      • 38 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 4, 2014 at 20:22

        Yeah, easy for the dyslexic ones too. I’m as helpful as I can be, Duke. *smiles*

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 13:41

        You should give…Charles.

      • 40 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 5, 2014 at 15:00

        Why Charles?

      • 41 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 21:13

        I’m not sure. Isn’t it a great name?

      • 42 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 6, 2014 at 04:55

        Sure it is…I like Charlie better.

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke November 6, 2014 at 13:49

        He died. *takes hat off and places it on heart* But there is no heart.

      • 44 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 10, 2014 at 03:43

        Thanks for reminding me.

      • 45 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:15

        We should both probably cry about it.

      • 46 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 11, 2014 at 21:03

        I may have a few tears left. I cannot believe he’s dead. How reckless of us.

      • 47 Professor VJ Duke November 12, 2014 at 13:48

        *laughing* He didn’t deserve it much.

      • 48 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 12, 2014 at 21:10

        You’re vicious.

      • 49 Professor VJ Duke November 13, 2014 at 23:03

        Horribly!

  8. 50 Debbie October 30, 2014 at 19:57

    I’ve often wanted to do just that, Professor. Choosing another name for an order that’s being shouted out in public makes perfect sense to me. I’m thinking something obviously fake, like that of a famous actress or athlete. Anything that would make the order-taker — and the other guests — gasp!! I’d even give out autographs, hee hee!

    • 51 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:16

      *laughing lots* Perfect plan! What name would you choose?

      • 52 Debbie October 30, 2014 at 23:57

        Maybe Angelina Jolie. Maybe Emma Stone. Maybe Cher or Whoopie or Queen Elizabeth. People would stop eating and look around, don’t you think??

      • 53 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:45

        I think you’re absolutely right. Maybe if you said Kenny G, too.

  9. 54 John W. Howell October 30, 2014 at 19:20

    I’m thinking there is more to this story than just the letters in FITZ. I think they are trying to say it was pre-worn and this is the evaluation of the person doing it.

    • 55 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:15

      Aha! So…a conspiracy?

      • 56 John W. Howell October 31, 2014 at 11:50

        Looks like it to me.

      • 57 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:55

        What should be done, then?

      • 58 John W. Howell October 31, 2014 at 19:22

        I would find out who tried on the item and declaired it FITZ

      • 59 Professor VJ Duke November 1, 2014 at 17:21

        *laughs* But…do you suppose that is too nice?

  10. 60 Julie Harris October 30, 2014 at 18:31

    Oh dear… I hope you were not too offended by your new name!

    • 61 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:15

      No, it was rather funny! Would you like that for a new name?

  11. 62 walt walker October 30, 2014 at 17:03

    But did they get the order right? And what was it? Is this place on Mars?

    • 63 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:10

      They did get the order right, actually. No, it was on earth. And I had some soup, Mr. Walker. I bet you would have liked it. Do you like slugs in soup?

      • 64 walt walker October 31, 2014 at 01:20

        No no but soup in slugs is okay.

      • 65 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:46

        That’s a good point. We don’t mind if they have a decent meal.

  12. 66 FictionFan October 30, 2014 at 15:33

    I knew it!! You’re him, aren’t you?!? You DO have a dinky little kiss-curl!! Oh Darby!! *swoons, giggles, gurgles and faints*

    • 67 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:09

      *laughs* I know, right? This was so weird. I mean…very weird. Fitz…no, remember…I’m Spitz, right?

      • 68 FictionFan October 31, 2014 at 01:42

        Good noodles! That takes me back to the dawn of Professorial time! I never did get to understand all about the Fitz-Spitz thing, if I recall…

        I think it’s fate. You are destined to play Darby in the next remake. Shall I dampen a shirt for you…?

      • 69 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:47

        *laughs* Yes, you never did. And I must say, there’s not that much to the dadblame rumor. But know, it seems a bit more believable sadly.

        *bangs head on desk* No damp shirt for me, madam!

      • 70 FictionFan October 31, 2014 at 22:13

        *laughs* Ah, that makes it much clearer! Thanks, Fitz!

        Spoilsport! How about a nice pair of riding boots then?

      • 71 Professor VJ Duke November 1, 2014 at 17:25

        You’re welcome, Aravis. (That’s a perfect name for you, you know, you know.)

        Umm…okay, besides I don’t like horses too much.

      • 72 FictionFan November 1, 2014 at 20:37

        (I must re-read the book sometime to see if it’s a compliment…)

        Oh, forgot the horse! The boots will add to the overall Professorial fluffiness…

      • 73 Professor VJ Duke November 2, 2014 at 23:56

        (I think it is…depends what I think of Aravis, you know.)

        Can I have a ka-bar?

      • 74 FictionFan November 3, 2014 at 18:16

        (True! So what do you….?)

        OK, but I think a lovely shiny sword would go better with the look.

      • 75 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 21:08

        (Well…can’t really tell you that… *maybe blushes*)

        Yeah! I’ll take one. And maybe uhh…a Spitfire to fly–instead of the horse.

      • 76 FictionFan November 3, 2014 at 23:46

        (*definitely blushes*)

        *nods wisely* Yes that would be easier. I mean, where would you stick the propellors on the horse?

      • 77 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2014 at 14:25

        Oh dear…

        See, very good point. Maybe on the rear. I guess.

      • 78 FictionFan November 4, 2014 at 16:58

        But – and I admit the terchnical details might be a bit beyond me – wouldn’t that make the horse fly backwards?

      • 79 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 13:36

        Yes, but see, I’ve always figured it’d be better to face the other way. That way, the horse’s neck doesn’t obscure one’s vision.

      • 80 FictionFan November 5, 2014 at 17:26

        *laughing lots* That’s a very good point! Though steering might be tricky…

      • 81 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 21:26

        We’d build in some sort of…wheel…

      • 82 FictionFan November 6, 2014 at 15:06

        *laughing lots* We could stick on an outboard motor too for extra speed…

      • 83 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:49

        *laughs* But not sure where we’d put that.

      • 84 FictionFan November 8, 2014 at 00:23

        *laughing*

  13. 85 sonmicloud October 30, 2014 at 14:24

    Perhaps they were saying you’ Fitzed’ right in or thinking “My he Ftiz the bill!” *winks*

    – sonmi upon the Cloud

    • 86 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:08

      *laughs* They probably were! How should it have been handled, Sonmi?

      • 87 sonmicloud October 30, 2014 at 22:39

        I’d have said I was just popping out to get Fritz as the bill was clearly his and done a runner, over the hills and far away, a bread bun tucked into my pocket. *laughs*

        – sonmi upon a bun filled Cloud

      • 88 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:42

        *laughs* Which would be very ingenious of you, Sonmi. Are you making cookies?

  14. 89 PorterGirl October 30, 2014 at 14:23

    What an odd thing to happen. What did you have to eat?

    • 90 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:08

      Well, it was a sandwich. No, it was actually some soup and a roll. Wasn’t bad. Even when my name was called it sounded right. What a wonder.

      • 91 PorterGirl October 31, 2014 at 08:24

        Sometimes a name just fits! I like it, it goes nicely with the hat and cane. Soup and a roll sounds very tasty, and very appropriate for the time of year.

      • 92 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:54

        Very true! Soup is rather good. I like creamy soups.

      • 93 PorterGirl November 2, 2014 at 17:54

        And buttery rolls. Yum!

      • 94 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 00:01

        Yes! And beef.

  15. 95 Catherine October 30, 2014 at 13:58

    I do hate it when those mistakes happen.

    • 96 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:05

      Yes, but Fitz isn’t all that bad of a name is it?

      • 97 Catherine November 1, 2014 at 20:21

        No, it really isn’t. So I guess it wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened!

      • 98 Professor VJ Duke November 2, 2014 at 23:54

        No…the worst is that I could have been called Gertrude.

      • 99 Catherine November 5, 2014 at 02:58

        …That would have been pretty bad, I agree. Especially since Gertrude is a woman’s name! And not a warrior-like name at all.

      • 100 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 13:46

        Yes! It’s rather horrid. But I do see a Lady (from the Middle Ages) bearing it.

      • 101 Catherine November 7, 2014 at 02:53

        It is a rather Middle-Agey name.

      • 102 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:58

        It sure is. So, is VJ Duke, you know. *looks to see if Catherine will buy it*

      • 103 Catherine November 9, 2014 at 23:37

        *laughs* It doesn’t really sound that Middle-Agey! But maybe the “V” and the “J” stand for Middle Age names?

      • 104 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:13

        Yes, that’s it! But what?

      • 105 Catherine November 16, 2014 at 23:50

        Hmm…I don’t know very many Middle Age names, but I’m sure the right ones are out there!

      • 106 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2014 at 17:09

        Good point. Maybe Gregory is one.

      • 107 Catherine November 22, 2014 at 21:24

        Maybe…but it doesn’t start with a V or a J.

      • 108 Professor VJ Duke November 24, 2014 at 13:32

        The professor’s name?

      • 109 Catherine November 26, 2014 at 17:46

        What do the V and J stand for? (or is it a secret?)

      • 110 Professor VJ Duke November 26, 2014 at 20:43

        Do you have a guess?

      • 111 Catherine November 30, 2014 at 00:45

        Well…there’s Vincent, Vlad, Victor, and any other name that starts with a V (there aren’t really that many, actually) and then the J could be anything from John to Jehoshaphat.

        …this is hard.

      • 112 Professor VJ Duke November 30, 2014 at 20:01

        *laughs* Well…should I tell?

      • 113 Catherine December 2, 2014 at 04:52

        *gets very excited* Oh, yes! I’ve been wondering ever since I first saw the professor’s initials! (Of course, if it’s a deep, dark secret, then maybe you shouldn’t.)

      • 114 Professor VJ Duke December 2, 2014 at 20:16

        Well…you see–I’m like very close to telling you–if I tell you…you’d know who I am…is that a good thing?

      • 115 Catherine December 4, 2014 at 04:41

        I suppose if you’re afraid of your identity being revealed (like Spiderman or Batman) then it might not be a good thing.

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke December 4, 2014 at 19:15

        Well, maybe the professor was the guitarist.

      • 117 Catherine December 7, 2014 at 00:01

        Does the guitarist have an alter ego?

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke December 8, 2014 at 14:31

        I bet he does. Doesn’t he look like a chap that would?

      • 119 Catherine December 10, 2014 at 02:48

        I guess…but not a superhero alter ego! Just another normal guy, maybe.

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke December 10, 2014 at 15:26

        True. Very true. What’s his name?

      • 121 Catherine December 13, 2014 at 16:41

        I”m bad with names, I’m afraid. But perhaps Steve? Steve sounds like a guitarist name.

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke December 13, 2014 at 18:13

        Isn’t that the cello guy?

      • 123 Catherine December 16, 2014 at 21:55

        True. Maybe not Steve then. Well. I’m all out of ideas.

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke December 17, 2014 at 14:55

        I’m sure you have more! You’re just holding them from me, dadblameit!

      • 125 Catherine December 22, 2014 at 03:55

        *laughs* I really don’t! Maybe Joseph? I knew a Joseph once who played guitar. Also a Levi. There. Two whole names!

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke December 23, 2014 at 19:00

        You are right!

      • 127 Catherine December 25, 2014 at 14:55

        Well, I’m glad we’ve worked that out!

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke December 26, 2014 at 15:44

        Now the professor isn’t an enigma! Rats.

  16. 129 Susan P October 30, 2014 at 13:52

    I don’t know what to say. I hope no one was hurt.

    • 130 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:05

      Well, I thought about cutting my sandwich in half with the katana just for fun. But I wasn’t really that mad. We laughed.

      • 131 Susan P October 30, 2014 at 23:05

        I am greatly relieved.

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:45

        Do you think I’m that bad of a fellow?

      • 133 Susan P November 1, 2014 at 00:03

        Do you think you are?

      • 134 Professor VJ Duke November 1, 2014 at 17:31

        Oh yes. I’m a wicked warrior, right?

      • 135 Susan P November 1, 2014 at 20:12

        You would know best. Now a real warrior would look like a cat.

      • 136 Professor VJ Duke November 2, 2014 at 23:54

        Hm…only lady warriors.

      • 137 Susan P November 3, 2014 at 14:11

        Tell that to Mufasa.

      • 138 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 15:41

        *laughs* He died!

      • 139 Susan P November 3, 2014 at 18:35

        Then who is that behind you?

      • 140 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 21:11

        The shadow?

      • 141 Susan P November 3, 2014 at 21:22

        Yes. Tall one.

      • 142 Professor VJ Duke November 4, 2014 at 14:16

        Well, might not be the professor.

      • 143 Susan P November 4, 2014 at 20:50

        It would be difficult to be the professor and the shadow.

      • 144 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 13:44

        I don’t see why!

      • 145 Susan P November 5, 2014 at 14:59

        Oh, right. I forgot about the mpd.

      • 146 Professor VJ Duke November 5, 2014 at 21:11

        There you are, then.

  17. 147 InfiniteZip October 30, 2014 at 13:46

    I think maybe it was fitting…or should I say fritzing?

    • 148 Professor VJ Duke October 30, 2014 at 22:02

      Now, now, Zippy. We must not think like that. Fritzing…isn’t that a cookie? A fritz cookie? Or was it Spitz cookie?

      • 149 InfiniteZip October 31, 2014 at 10:41

        I think a spitz is a dog….i meant to say fitzing….like fitting…but my ipad says what it wants sometimes….do i get a cookie?

      • 150 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:54

        How about a Spritz cookie?

      • 151 InfiniteZip November 1, 2014 at 09:39

        Aren’t they for Christmas?

      • 152 Professor VJ Duke November 1, 2014 at 17:33

        Probably…but can’t we cheat?

      • 153 InfiniteZip November 1, 2014 at 18:40

        Are you baking them then?

      • 154 Professor VJ Duke November 2, 2014 at 23:49

        Nah! Professors aren’t allowed to bake.

      • 155 Me, Myself and DIY October 31, 2014 at 18:38

        Spritz = Cookie

      • 156 Professor VJ Duke October 31, 2014 at 18:57

        Aha! A German cookie, right?

      • 157 Me, Myself and DIY October 31, 2014 at 19:25

        Got me. I just remember that’s the cookie. I think my mom made them at some point. :)

      • 158 Professor VJ Duke November 1, 2014 at 17:21

        Yeah…and they’re tasty. Were yours green or white?

      • 159 Me, Myself and DIY November 2, 2014 at 11:58

        Good question! I don’t remember. I’ll have to ask her.

      • 160 Professor VJ Duke November 3, 2014 at 00:01

        Sure thing!


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