The Game

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The game was simple: tell the three most shocking things about yourself.

We had some thinks before beginning, and even more thinks. Then, we began.

“Okay,” Schwarz Tauptinker said. “You start first, chickit!”

“Find,” this professor said. “First shocking thing: I once shot myself in the head with a BB gun.”

BBGUN

Schwarz laughed–which might have been vexing. “Not sure how you’d manage that. Here’s mine: I never drink water when I’m thirsty.”

That was a stopper.

“What’s that mean exactly?” I asked.

“Not part of the game!”

“Okay, okay… Second thing: I once travelled across a barren wasteland just so I could think about what a fruitful wasteland would look like.”

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Schwarz scrunched up his brow. “Nah…do I believe that? No!”

“Too bad,” this professor said. “Your turn.”

“I was once attacked by a mutant bee…”

“You’re making this up now!”

“Chickit no!”

“I’m not even going to finish playing, dadblameit!”

“You must, chickit!”

“Fine: I’m a shrub.”

dreamstime_14617601

Schwarz shook his head. “Lie. Here’s my third: I once shot myself in the head with a…”

I left before he could finish.

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139 Responses to “The Game”


  1. 1 erinkenobi2893 November 24, 2014 at 15:59

    Professor, you’re a SHRUB?! My life has been a lie!

    • 2 Professor VJ Duke November 24, 2014 at 22:10

      *laughing* A Sith Shrub. You must admit: it does sound fierce! (Don’t tell Rosalie!)

      • 3 erinkenobi2893 November 25, 2014 at 00:08

        :-p It does. (Why not? :-P )

      • 4 Professor VJ Duke November 25, 2014 at 14:06

        Well, she’d always bother me about it, probably. Being a shrub, you know.

      • 5 erinkenobi2893 December 2, 2014 at 13:25

        Ehhh… I’m pretty sure she’s seen stranger. ;-P

      • 6 Professor VJ Duke December 2, 2014 at 20:18

        Bet not!

      • 7 erinkenobi2893 December 2, 2014 at 22:18

        “No. I am your father.”
        Believe it or not, there are still some people who won’t believe it out there.

      • 8 Professor VJ Duke December 3, 2014 at 15:42

        Yes, I don’t.

      • 9 erinkenobi2893 December 3, 2014 at 21:22

        Really? (Was Vader a cover-up the entire time? :-P )

      • 10 Professor VJ Duke December 4, 2014 at 19:03

        Yes, I fear he was. Doesn’t it make sense in a way?

      • 11 erinkenobi2893 December 4, 2014 at 22:24

        Hm… maybe… but finding out that it was all a lie… 0_0

      • 12 Professor VJ Duke December 6, 2014 at 19:53

        Yes…he was just a robot.

      • 13 erinkenobi2893 December 8, 2014 at 12:00

        Robots can’t use the Force!

      • 14 Professor VJ Duke December 8, 2014 at 14:47

        Sith robots can!

      • 15 erinkenobi2893 December 8, 2014 at 16:21

        No, they can’t! That’s why there is no such thing as a Sith robot!

      • 16 Professor VJ Duke December 8, 2014 at 21:01

        Yes there are! Grevious!

      • 17 erinkenobi2893 December 9, 2014 at 17:01

        Grievous is a biological creature (technically a non-human of some sort) that was rebuilt all in metal. Only his internal organs, brain, and eyes are still intact. And he can’t use the Force, so technically not a Sith.

      • 18 Professor VJ Duke December 9, 2014 at 21:48

        He has organs?! Wow.

      • 19 erinkenobi2893 December 10, 2014 at 12:36

        Yup. How else would he burn? Otherwise he’d just… spark.

      • 20 Professor VJ Duke December 10, 2014 at 15:28

        *laughs* You do have a point.

      • 21 erinkenobi2893 December 10, 2014 at 16:11

        I do indeed.

      • 22 Professor VJ Duke December 10, 2014 at 20:42

        And I hate when you do.

      • 23 erinkenobi2893 December 11, 2014 at 02:41

        *sticks nose in the air and acts superior, like Loki*

      • 24 Professor VJ Duke December 11, 2014 at 19:16

        Don’t do that!

      • 25 erinkenobi2893 December 12, 2014 at 13:33

        Why not? :-P *puts on Dooku costume, then realizes it makes her look stupid*
        Loki looks like a girl anyway. ;-P

      • 26 Professor VJ Duke December 13, 2014 at 18:07

        He does! You’re right. I’ve always said this about him. I like Dooku’s beard on you, though.

      • 27 erinkenobi2893 December 15, 2014 at 16:40

        *faceplants into keyboard*
        *takes off Dooku’s beard, replaces it with an obviously-fake replica of Tony Stark’s* That’s a little better… :-P

      • 28 Professor VJ Duke December 15, 2014 at 21:20

        Now you look…snarky.

      • 29 erinkenobi2893 December 16, 2014 at 13:53

        Don’t you mean Stark-y? X-P

      • 30 Professor VJ Duke December 16, 2014 at 16:14

        *laughing* Of course I did!

      • 31 erinkenobi2893 December 16, 2014 at 18:52

        X-P

  2. 32 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 10, 2014 at 04:23

    Shot yourself? Did you walk alone? I can’t leave you alone for a minute, can I? Of course you’re a shrub…but I think the game is two truths and a lie….not two lies and a truth, Duke. (That rhyming was not intended.) *smiles*

    • 33 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:18

      *laughs* Well…it sorta bounced off a target. Of course, wasn’t it long ago? I’m nice as a shrub wouldn’t you say?

      • 34 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 11, 2014 at 21:16

        *laughs* You’re a mess. It was probably yesterday. Big brother shot me in the bottom with his BB Gun when I was 10. I was wearing a swimsuit. It hurt! You are a nice looking shrub. You look soft, but I know you’re not.

        Kinda like when the zoo keeper told me that the giraffe looks like he wants me to pet him, while I’m feeding him lettuce, but he really doesn’t. I have a hard time believing that, Duke. The giraffe was whispering to me, actually. “Pet me, you nice lady. Aren’t my eyes so big and sweet?”

      • 35 Professor VJ Duke November 12, 2014 at 13:51

        A mess? Maybe. I like that, actually. Ow!!! That had to hurt. And to think, you still talk to this man! *laughs* I’m all prickly.

        Are you sure the giraffe didn’t want to eat you?

      • 36 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 12, 2014 at 21:21

        *smiles* You should like it. It did hurt. I had a bruise. Yes, I’m very good at forgiving. *laughs* I probably deserved to be shot, you know. I was probably on his last nerve.
        I didn’t notice the prickly bits.

        Well, he may have, but he seemed to enjoy the lettuce, and I’m not lettuce, so I think I’m okay. He might like shrubs though…

      • 37 Professor VJ Duke November 13, 2014 at 23:06

        Oh! You were bothering him! Now the whole story comes out! Yes, that’s true: I can’t find them either.

        He’d definitely eat me.

      • 38 Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister November 14, 2014 at 04:53

        Mostly sisters bother brothers. It’s what we do!! I think I was taunting him. So now what then?

        Yeah, I think he would…run!

      • 39 Professor VJ Duke November 15, 2014 at 16:21

        *laughs* Well, then… I’m not sure!

        Won’t do it!

  3. 40 erinkenobi2893 November 9, 2014 at 12:52

    Very shocking indeed, Professor! But that fight was the most shocking of all. :-P

    • 41 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:11

      Yes…I suppose it was. Do you suppose it was my fault?

      • 42 erinkenobi2893 November 11, 2014 at 18:34

        …no. Sometimes the PL’ers need little to no excuse to get in a fight. :-P

      • 43 Professor VJ Duke November 12, 2014 at 13:47

        That’s a good point. One of them is always ready to go at it.

      • 44 erinkenobi2893 November 15, 2014 at 12:59

        Indeed. :-P

  4. 45 lifeconfusions November 8, 2014 at 17:20

    So the professor got out the situation unscathed, Pheww *Wipes sweat from the forehead* :D

    • 46 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:53

      Yes! Aren’t I spicy?

      • 47 lifeconfusions November 9, 2014 at 15:39

        As spicy as a Wassabi sauce ! :D

      • 48 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:12

        I’ve never had that!

      • 49 lifeconfusions November 13, 2014 at 10:47

        Never had Sushi? Me neither :D lol

      • 50 Professor VJ Duke November 13, 2014 at 23:07

        Would you have it, though?

      • 51 lifeconfusions November 14, 2014 at 15:11

        Honestly? Only if I were dying on a deserted Island or If I were the last person on Earth and there wasn’t nothing else to eat :P (Which basically means, No, I won’t have it :D )

      • 52 Professor VJ Duke November 15, 2014 at 16:25

        Me too! That’s how I feel about the horrid stuff.

  5. 53 The Lite Rider November 7, 2014 at 21:18

    That he had to parrot your OWN shocking fact is so lame! Hope that BB didn’t hurt too bad — they can be really nasty you know. Of course the frozen wasteland would have helped with any pain, one supposes. Loved the comeback at the end. And I know, from past PL writings, that you like shrubs of all sorts. ;-)

    • 54 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:46

      I do like shrubs–lots! I know, right? He copies off me. Dadblame bugger! A barren landscape…a fruity one has cherries, you know.

      • 55 The Lite Rider November 8, 2014 at 20:50

        Professor “Shrub” VJ!

      • 56 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:53

        laughing lots PSVJ!

  6. 57 L. Marie November 7, 2014 at 15:05

    Ouch!! (On the BB gun.) And ha ha! You’re a shrub! Now that’s how you end a game that had become annoying!

    • 58 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 20:01

      Hit me in the forehead! Lovely as a shrub, aren’t I?

  7. 59 Louis from VA November 6, 2014 at 23:24

    I love it! You know, maybe blogs would be sandwiches in a fruitful wasteland.

    • 60 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:57

      *laughing* Perfect point! Grape sandwiches?

      • 61 Louis from VA November 10, 2014 at 22:06

        Maybe… o.O *adds to list of future cooking experiments*

      • 62 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:27

        As long as someone else is the tester.

  8. 63 Simply Skeptical November 6, 2014 at 22:49

    Oh Dear Professor! You are the cutest shrub. I’m so glad the bb missed. It did didn’t it? Schwarz didn’t miss. :-)

    • 64 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:57

      No, it hit me square on the forehead! Which I thought was rather mean of it, altogether.

  9. 65 Debbie November 6, 2014 at 19:03

    Two truths and a lie is one of those icebreaker games, as you’re probably well aware, Professor. This one appears to have failed epically! We can only guess which statements are for real and which are fabrications — my guess is, Schwarz really IS a shrub!!

    • 66 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:55

      *laughing lots and lots* You know, I felt like I was talking to a shrub. But that sad thing is that I had it backwards, right? I said I was a shrub.

  10. 67 sonmicloud November 6, 2014 at 18:52

    “Fine: I’m a shrub.” – one of the most superb retorts I have ever heard. I shall purloin it for myself it’s of such quality! *laughs but is also quite serious*

    – sonmi upon the Cloud

    • 68 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:54

      Yes, wouldn’t say I’m spicy as a shrub?

  11. 69 InfiniteZip November 6, 2014 at 16:41

    Did your mustache catch the errant bullet ?

    • 70 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:54

      No, because I had shaved earlier that week. Talk about bad timing, right?

  12. 71 Susan P November 6, 2014 at 15:34

    I once ran into an iron pillar in the lunch room when I was in second grade. I was looking at my teacher instead of navigating carefully!

    • 72 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:52

      Did you get a bump? Dadblame teacher.

      • 73 Susan P November 7, 2014 at 22:09

        I think I knocked my brains out. I loved her with the love that only a second grade girl could possibly have for a teacher.

      • 74 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:46

        Which is hateful love, I suppose.

      • 75 Susan P November 8, 2014 at 21:42

        More like adoring love.

      • 76 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:06

        No difference!

      • 77 Susan P November 11, 2014 at 21:57

        How is that?

      • 78 Professor VJ Duke November 12, 2014 at 13:53

        It’s all dangerous.

      • 79 Susan P November 12, 2014 at 16:12

        Life is dangerous…

      • 80 Professor VJ Duke November 13, 2014 at 23:02

        Especially when there’s a professor walking about.

      • 81 Susan P November 13, 2014 at 23:23

        With a Katana…

      • 82 Professor VJ Duke November 15, 2014 at 16:15

        Right on!

      • 83 Susan P November 15, 2014 at 19:27

        Or a porcupine.

      • 84 Professor VJ Duke November 16, 2014 at 23:16

        I hear they hurt.

      • 85 Susan P November 17, 2014 at 15:27

        Only if you sit on them.

      • 86 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2014 at 17:18

        Or if they sit on you!

      • 87 Susan P November 18, 2014 at 19:22

        Well, they can be kind of prickle .

  13. 88 walt walker November 6, 2014 at 15:05

    Well, shooting oneself in the head and being attacked by mutant bees are more unfortunate than shocking, I think. And thus I must say I’m afraid there was missed opportunity in the game to reveal truly shocking things. Like whether one of you had ever robbed a bank or swindled a nursing home, or some such. I once struck a young lady with a crutch, for example. But it was her fault, really. She was quite a bother.

    • 89 Susan P November 6, 2014 at 15:35

      Or talked to an alien. That would explain the shrub.

      • 90 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:52

        Hey! *bristles*

    • 91 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:49

      *laughing* Walt! You must tell me more about this young lady and the crutch incident…right now, by the way.

      Robbing a bank…or a train…now that would be the ticket.

      • 92 walt walker November 7, 2014 at 22:40

        Oh dear! Well, she was quite a beast, I’m sorry to say. She attacked me. And she was larger. And rather manly, for a lady. Cracked her in the shin, but she barely noticed. What do you call those who feel no pain? She was one of those. I’m lucky to have escaped. But she motivated me to run much faster than I normally can.

      • 93 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:46

        *laughing lots* Goodness. Maybe it was a troll of sorts?

      • 94 walt walker November 8, 2014 at 22:00

        Now that you mention it she did look a bit trollish. Perhaps she was one.

      • 95 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:06

        *nods* And that would answer why she was…maimed. Trolls war all the time, you know. With each other.

  14. 96 Angeline M November 6, 2014 at 14:45

    I’m trying to forget the words and just try to make sense of this by looking at the photos. Gun, wasteland, underwater shrub. It makes no sense that way either, chickit.

    • 97 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:46

      *laughs* Doesn’t the professor look spicy in the underwater shot?

  15. 98 FictionFan November 6, 2014 at 14:39

    Well, I’m so sorry to say it, dear Prof, but Schwarzy won! Mutant bees are much more dramatic than BB guns.

    • 99 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:46

      IKR? Vexing. I wish I could have run into mutant bees. Though, you must admit, shooting oneself with a BB gun is rather special.

      • 100 FictionFan November 8, 2014 at 00:10

        (IKR? I’m guessing – ‘I know, right’?) D’you know, I was really hoping you’d made that up about the BB gun. *laughing despite herself* Pea-shooters are definitely better – that kind of accident would be impossible. *suddenly gets a vision of C-W-W’s eyes lighting up as he tries to work out how to shoot himself with a peashooter*

      • 101 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:47

        (Yes, that’s it! I’ve learned that in the blogosphere.) I didn’t! I’m really not too clumsy. I shot it..and it must have bounced off something. I’m sure it could be possible with a pea-shooter…

      • 102 FictionFan November 9, 2014 at 00:19

        (Me too now! *proud face* And thank you so much for assuming – albeit wrongly – that I’d be cool enough to know what it meant…) Oh, C-W-W, you do make me laugh! It didn’t bounce off that same tree by any chance, did it?

      • 103 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:07

        (I thought you wouldn’t. That’s why I taught you!) *laughs* It was a tree–but a different one!

  16. 104 LadyPinkRose November 6, 2014 at 14:36

    OH! Professor, this one is GOOD! I LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Yes, LadyP got silly! Did anyone tell you lately you are perfect for PL? Why else would you run the darn thing! Anyways …. not drinking water IMPOSSIBLE. You die. Boom. Dead. All done! What part of the head did you shoot with the beebee? Or was that a bee? And if you are a shrub, what does that leave me? My My, this is vexing today. Yesterday you had me throwing knives, and today I’m scratching my head, trying to figure out what I am if you are a shrub. *sighs* I don’t know why I come over here.

    • 105 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:45

      Well, if I’m a shrub, maybe you’re a palm tree? Or…no! A rose bush.

      So…doesn’t it take three days before one dies of thirst?

      • 106 LadyPinkRose November 7, 2014 at 20:30

        That is just a gory thought, Professor. And just reading it has made me thirsty *as I get up to get a drink of water*.

      • 107 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:43

        Watch out! Might be worms in your water.

      • 108 LadyPinkRose November 8, 2014 at 21:24

        Didn’t you hear? Always there are worms in water. You just can’t see them.

      • 109 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:05

        Yucketh! won’t believe it.

      • 110 LadyPinkRose November 11, 2014 at 14:56

        Par-a-sites. Yep. True. Yucketh is right!

      • 111 Professor VJ Duke November 12, 2014 at 13:45

        Don’t believe it!

      • 112 LadyPinkRose November 12, 2014 at 15:23

        *shrugs* Whatever ….

      • 113 Professor VJ Duke November 13, 2014 at 23:01

        *holds ears*

  17. 114 PorterGirl November 6, 2014 at 14:32

    This is a super game! I am now also wondering what a fruitful wasteland would look like. Quite fruity, maybe.

    • 115 Susan P November 6, 2014 at 15:36

      Take your camera when you go.

      • 116 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:52

        No pictures of the professor, please.

      • 117 Susan P November 7, 2014 at 22:10

        If you have the camera, not much chance of someone else taking the pictures.

      • 118 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:46

        Unless there is a phone about.

      • 119 Susan P November 8, 2014 at 21:42

        My phone is just a phone.

      • 120 Professor VJ Duke November 11, 2014 at 13:05

        Good for you, I say!

      • 121 Susan P November 11, 2014 at 21:57

        Are you snickering?

      • 122 Professor VJ Duke November 12, 2014 at 13:53

        Am not! It’s the only sensible way to have one.

      • 123 Susan P November 12, 2014 at 16:11

        Nuh-uh.

      • 124 Professor VJ Duke November 13, 2014 at 23:01

        Yep yooey!

      • 125 Susan P November 13, 2014 at 23:23

        You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?

      • 126 Professor VJ Duke November 15, 2014 at 16:15

        Wouldn’t you?

      • 127 Susan P November 15, 2014 at 19:26

        Dang straight.

      • 128 Professor VJ Duke November 16, 2014 at 23:16

        *laughs*

      • 129 Susan P November 17, 2014 at 15:28

        What?

      • 130 Professor VJ Duke November 18, 2014 at 17:18

        Won’t tell!

      • 131 Susan P November 18, 2014 at 19:23

        You skeered?

      • 132 Professor VJ Duke November 24, 2014 at 13:27

        Never!

    • 133 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:43

      Yes…I picture bananas and grape trees…wait. Grapes don’t grow on trees, do they?

      • 134 PorterGirl November 7, 2014 at 20:11

        I think they grow on vines. Which are bit like skinny trees, so it’s all good!

      • 135 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:42

        *laughs* I’m right after all! My teachers should have thought that way, you know.

  18. 136 John W. Howell November 6, 2014 at 14:22

    I once shot myself in the head with a slingshot. I guess I pulled the rubber thingy in the wrong direction.

    • 137 Professor VJ Duke November 7, 2014 at 19:43

      *laughs and tries not to* Did it hurt very badly?

      • 138 John W. Howell November 7, 2014 at 20:14

        I was using a ball bearing but luckily it missed me. What really hit me was the patch thing connected to the rubber thingy. Had an eyepatch for some time though.

      • 139 Professor VJ Duke November 8, 2014 at 20:43

        Ooo! Anything with eye injuries makes me…scared!


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