The professor left Mr. Ratherquite and his Ladies, and made his way over to a chair.
When you get old, you see, you like to sit for a bit, bits, and little bits. (In fact, this professor can’t remember a time when I didn’t like to sit. In truth, that is true.)
Mr. Magi was sitting across from me with his legs crossed.
“P.VJ,” he said, “how are you doing?”
“Good, I think.”
“You think?” One of his eyebrows went up a bit.
I nodded. “It’s a feeling of well-being overall, I’d say.”
Mr. Magi shrugged. “Young man,” he began, “in life you’ll never be perfectly happy. You just have to learn how to be happy no matter what.”
And that’s when Schwarz Tauptinker passed and somehow spilled the contents of his glass on Mr. Magi’s head.
“Dude no!” Schwarz yelled. “I’m like so chickit sorry!”
Schwarz messed up Mr. Magi’s hair in an attempt to dry it a bit.
“No need, no need,” Mr. Magi said. “Accidents happen.”
“And you must remain happy,” I said.
Mr. Magi shot me a gaze of meanness. Or, at least I thought so.
“Exactly,” he said.
“You know,” Schwarz said, “don’t know how I did it. I mean, wow, baby! Didn’t mean to do it. And I don’t know! I don’t! I don’t! I don’t!”
“Quite all right, really,” Mr. Magi affirmed.
“Look what I’ve got here, curs!”
Daddy Salami had come up.
And his hands were cupped over something.
“Ooo!” Schwarz said excitedly. “Let me see, chickit!”
Salami made a bit of an opening.
“It’s a frog!” Schwarz exclaimed.
Salami nodded. “Yeah, with a tick on its back!”
Mr. Magi looked displeased. “That’s quite enough of that. Take that beast and the tick out of here. This is a party. None of that here.”
“Quite right!” Mr. Ratherquite agreed. He had come over as well. “The Ladies might see it.”
“It’ll be good for them,” Salami argued. “Then they can see what ya do to people: ya leach onto them and suck their blood out!”
Mr. Ratherquite swung fast and swung hard.
Salami didn’t do anything. He was too shocked that Mr. Ratherquite had actually hit him, I think.
Then, he did do something.
He ran over to Mr. R (closed the distance between them, that is) and plopped what he was carrying down his shirt.
“Help me! Help me!” Mr. Ratherquite shrieked as he ran back and forth.
Mr. Magi was up in a second. “You must take off your shirt!”
And that’s when this professor slipped out the back door.